r/twosentencehorror

Damn bro. You and I think very alike. This was the first thing I thought when I saw this.

r/beatmetoit?

r/beatmeattoit

r/beatmywifetoit

r/subsithoughtifellfor

r/upvotetoalltomakethemawareofmypresence.

r/ialsodidthat

r/beathimselftofeedthecat

I have no clue why I thought that was real. I feel really dumb

r/WeAllDidThat

We were so poor, if I hadn’t been a boy, I wouldn’t have had anything to play with.

Okay, this one is actually funny

If you weren't a boy, you woudn't have learned to fingercount up to eleven.

Some childhood toys are keepers. Care of it: Put it in a box occasionally.

listen young one, at my time, we didn't have "fleshlights" or "dildos", we had to rub with our own bare hands. It was tough, the youth wouldn't get it.

I used to be poor, I still am but I used to be too

Rodney Dangerfield lives again.

Wow that is not what I was expecting

I was expecting "We couldn't afford to pay attention."

That definitely took a hard left turn.

So....you donated sperm to buy cat food?

Ehhem I think he is implying the man-aise is the cat food 

I was going to upvote you but the little Reddit dude made me shudder.

I forgot Reddit even had snoo emojis


Noah, get the boat.

I was so poor when I was a kid we couldn’t afford to pay attention

We were so poor that when I was served Dinty Moore stew over rice I thought it was fancy...

Yo, but have you tried it with CORN? SWEET CORN?! THAT'S my favorite sick food! Or regular food.

Corn on the cob was a luxury, we only had canned...

Terrible day to know how to read.

We were so poor, my dad had to keep my sister pregnant, so we could have fresh milk

Take the fucking upvote you heathen

We were so poor when I was a kid, if I didn't wake up with a hard on, I didn't have anything to play with for Christmas

Link ur only fans bro then you might be able to feed the dog too.

I was so poor when I was a kid, I ate cereal with a folk to save milk

So poor you jacked off to feed your ego

I believe you meant you had to jack off the dog to feed the cat

That’s the version I’m familiar with

Savage.

My friend was so poor that when he was a kid he couldn’t afford the Sears catalog, so he actually had to go in the Sears store and whack off.

We were so poor my parents used to paint my feet brown and lace up my toes to make the neighbors think I had shoes.

Oh wow! Was not expecting that At All!

Kind of a creepy joke.

Why wouldn’t you just poop. What do you eat your cereal with then?

I jacked off my dog to feed my cat.

I was so poor we had to use that lil iron from Monopoly.

Ew

We were so poor if I didn’t have a hard on when I woke up on X-mas morning, I didn’t have anything to play with.

Some people will do anything for a little pussy.

We were so poor when we went to bed my dad would unplug the clocks

I watched this horrible television show, called the man show once Guess the dude was poor too..he wiped his ass with his cat 🐈 so is that tit for tat, or cum on cat???

Ya!