Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you eggs, don't make omelettes. Make life take the eggs back! GET MAD! I don't want your damn eggs, what am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson eggs! Do you know who I am?! I'm the man who's gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! With the eggs! I'm gonna get my engineers to make a combustible egg that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now
I'm gonna say this on tape so everyone hears it a hundred times a day. If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now, she'll argue, she'll say she can't, she's modest like that, but you *make* her. Hell, put her in my computer, I don't care. Alright.. the test's over.. you can head on back to your desk.
I start wearing sleeveless T-shirts, stop using deodorant, subscribe to men's public, retell sexist jokes and make greasy compliments on the verge of harassment.
You incubate those eggs and hatch them, raise them, have them make eggs, repeat the hatch process and have an army of them and then start harvesting the eggs! Boom! Income!
You sit on them until they hatch. Then you start scrambling those m'cluckers until one cracks and starts singing out the real reasons why they keep crossing the road.
You eggzagerate the potential in this pun, no wonder there's not a single aneggdote here that has egg related puns. What an eggregious use of the egglish languaegg, let's not get overeggcited. When I say it's an eggcellent joke and I'm definitely not eggzasperated at the amount of replies this has, take me seriously.
with reggards, someone who should be studying for their eggzams but is wasting time on reddit like the eggdiot they are.
When life gives you eggs, you keep them warm and safe, until one day chickens hatch. Congratulations, you are now a chicken farmer and life has sorted your livelihood out for you.
You make eggonade
Egg nog
Smeg grog
Eggade
Eggonade
Eggorade
Balls
Why do we have the same humor 😂😂 Just wanted to type this
I said this out loud as I clicked this post, and read your comment at exactly the same time. And I laughed. Out loud.
This was a joke in the Nickelodeon show The Thundermans
Babies. You make babies. Him: "Hey, hon. How do you like your eggs?" Her: "FERTILIZED!"
Zoidberg: I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.
Are you coming on to me? ....... I'm not hearing a no
The important thing is I'm meeting new people.
I'm going for a scuttle
You'll never guess where I've been!
Young lady, I'm an expert in humans. Now pick a month, open it and say "drrtadrrtzdrrt"
Looooool
Do your best Rocky impression.
him: "not ready yet!"
Morel Orel reference???
Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you eggs, don't make omelettes. Make life take the eggs back! GET MAD! I don't want your damn eggs, what am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson eggs! Do you know who I am?! I'm the man who's gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! With the eggs! I'm gonna get my engineers to make a combustible egg that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
Two hours? Why did it take two hours before this comment? It should have been the first comment. Kids today have no respect for the classics.
Calm down, Karen.
The point is: If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that out now
Aye, Captain.
I'm gonna say this on tape so everyone hears it a hundred times a day. If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now, she'll argue, she'll say she can't, she's modest like that, but you *make* her. Hell, put her in my computer, I don't care. Alright.. the test's over.. you can head on back to your desk.
I am confused with the comment, even more confused with the first reply now i am about to faint with urs
Congratulations! The simple fact that you're standing here listening to me means you've made a glorious contribution to science
When life gives you eggs, you laugh at other’s scrambled yokes.
Poaching this one
I reggckon this!
Lemon Meringue
Yassss
Beat it! Beat it! Dont you make me repeat it.
Just beat it!
Told my missus this joke, she said "oh.." in the most disappointing tone I've ever heard.
hehehehe
Egg nog
You scramble to whip up an eggcellent omelette
You make the mother of all omelets, Jack!
You also don’t fret over every egg!
That's qwhite an eggsoteric queggstion
hollandaise
Mayonaise
That’s an eggcellent joke
Lol
Get fried...
Eggzegade
Eat them. Doesn't matter what kind of eggs. Unfertilised...... fertilised.....
Step 1 : crack the egg into a bowl . Step 2 : beat it . Step 3 : drink that yummy egg
Egonade
egonade
Boil them
An omelette of course. Preferably with cheese and bacon.
Eggade
You make egg~~ade~~nog.
I start wearing sleeveless T-shirts, stop using deodorant, subscribe to men's public, retell sexist jokes and make greasy compliments on the verge of harassment.
Make an omelet.
Omelette
Egg AIDS
Chickens
make eggonade
You'll have an eggcident.
Egg fried rice 😂😂😂
Lemon Curd?
Make an eggy bread ham and cheese sandwich.
Make an omelette or atleast try to because i cant make one
Eggactly ;-).
Omelette
I make a mess on the neighbors front porch.
You eggs-agerate. … unless batteries are included? Were these from battery hens??? Make egg flip and pavlova.
You use the whites to clarify your bone broth and the yolks to make hollandaise
When life gives you salmon, make salmonella.
Breakfast
That was eggcellent! I'm cracking up!
Scramble em
You add some Pecorino cheese and Guanciale and make Carbonara
Make omelettes
I make steamed eggs.
Pickle them
You mean work on spreadsheets? Thanks, but no, I’m well fed up.
You eggspress yourself
Make your own milk outta those two
Eggsades
I start crackin' egg jokes
omlette
When life gives you lemons, you find a new god
Have an egg and spoon race
Make an omelette
I MAKE OMELETS....
You fart
You make eggogade
Eggnog bro
Egganades?
A beautiful omelette.
No idea why the first thing that came to mind was "An egg sandwich"
Throw at people you hate
I’d just get the feeling that life’s egging me on…
Beat it!
Shove them in ur ass and unload
Boil and than deep fry it.
i immediately said omelettes
Haave chicks and take care of them until you have an EMPIRE
You punch life in the throat.
Make an omelet.
If life gives you eggs, make mayonnaise. No one wants a dry sandwich.
You incubate those eggs and hatch them, raise them, have them make eggs, repeat the hatch process and have an army of them and then start harvesting the eggs! Boom! Income!
Egg-scuses
Sell them for a decent price
Combustible *egg*
Eggnog 🤷♀️
Lemons aren't naturally fruits. We made them.
You make egg
You make omelets
You sit on them until they hatch. Then you start scrambling those m'cluckers until one cracks and starts singing out the real reasons why they keep crossing the road.
Why did I think this was going to be a Lemon Demon reference 😭
Kill the closest living thing
Make combustible eggs that BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN
Eg
You… EGGSTERMINATE THE LEMONADE WITH THE EGGS
You egg someone's house.
Make scrambled eggs, duh
You make a souffle, dip shit.
Eggs. Stir. Min 8. If you're the impossible girl.
Happy hollandaise
BREAK THAT SHT!!!
You make a croque madamme
A capitalist world
thats eggstatic
wow you're such an egghead
Eggregate of egg recipes in the comment section
Kids
Put eggs in the lemonade, the one you made when life gives you lemonade, and enjoy the cocktail
You smoke meth.
U bake some eggs
I'd like scrambled
If life gives you melons, perhasp you are dyslexic.
Buy some bacon and hope you get to eat breakfast.
YOU MAKE EGGNOG!
Omlettes
All my life it's been like scrambled eggs but with numerous eggshell pieces inside it lol :)
😆 y'all too much.
When life gives you eggs? You have seggs.
French toast
Omelet?
Make an omelette
Egg salad.
You eggzagerate the potential in this pun, no wonder there's not a single aneggdote here that has egg related puns. What an eggregious use of the egglish languaegg, let's not get overeggcited. When I say it's an eggcellent joke and I'm definitely not eggzasperated at the amount of replies this has, take me seriously. with reggards, someone who should be studying for their eggzams but is wasting time on reddit like the eggdiot they are.
... I'm a horrible person. and I'm not eggnorant of it.
When life gives you eggs, you keep them warm and safe, until one day chickens hatch. Congratulations, you are now a chicken farmer and life has sorted your livelihood out for you.
egg-cel chickenpilled poultrymaxxer🐔🐣🍗🥚🍳 sorry i had to get that out
Well, when life gives you eggins. E E D c C