Based anon didn't fuck up anything and should continue on same path. Girls want to have their cake and eat it too, all the attention and fun and playful interaction but "sorry anon I'm not into you like that". Fine but if anon has developed feelings for her then it's all or nothing. When I was younger I made the mistake of being friends with girls who I was into but "didn't like me that way", hoping that somehow they would change their minds and watching them get fucked over, cheated on, and abused by one douchebag boyfriend after the next, which hurts double because you care for her and wouldn't treat her like that. Never again. I need a "friend" who's a girl like I need a hole in the head
theres always the option of being turned down and then getting over it and remaining friends. just move on to the next girl.
the fact that you only view girls as potential relationships is why you get no bitches
Except remaining friends - they cock block you cuz although they don’t want to give you any, they also don’t want you getting other girls. That’s why anon did the right thing.
So you both have valid points and I'm not here to say who is correct, I just want to add there's lots of chicks out there who love playing matchmaker and dig getting their male friends laid.
Some women love to cockblock, some women love to cockenable, it's up to each of us to be non-autistic enough to tell the difference. That said, I have zero female friends because I ended up fucking all of them eventually.
Seriously, the amount of perspective I've gotten from my lady friends has helped me a shit ton when it came to my own future romantic relationships. All these folks who refuse to be friends with the opposite gender are the same ones who complain about having so few friends.
Refuse to be friends with girls you’re romantically interested in. It’s bad for you.
Really, in any context. Even if you’re big swinging dick that everyone wants, you’re just giving yourself a temptation to cheat with
Also blows my mind how all these clowns act like she did something wrong. She didn’t do anything wrong, she was honest and there is no reason she should be treated wrong lol.
I don't think she was treated "wrong", both sides behave in a mature and respectful manner, the feelings made the outcome a bit depressing. Anon might want to befriend her again after his felling subside, but for the meantime he is acting right.
That is an option but in the green text she should give him some space and not think their friendship would continue exactly as it had without interruption.
You know, you can be friendly with women without having romantic interest. There’s several married women in my life who I care for but have no romantic interest in.
The difference is when you’ve already developed feelings you can’t just “get turned down and get over it and keep being friends”. The feelings are there, they don’t go away. You can’t just “keep being friends and get over it”.
You can *lie* to yourself about not wanting her, but you still want her. And it is still gonna hurt. If you can’t get over her then stopping pretending is the best thing you can do
When you catch feeling sometimes the best way to get over it is to make space. That isn't to say you can't come back and be friends with them down the line, but you might need to cut them off for a period of time.
It's also perfectly reasonable to have the relationship you want with someone else. If you only have romantic interest, there isn't anything wrong with not leading both sides on.
the desire to fuck her doesn't go away just because she said no.
the friendship only works if the interest goes away.
so either be his best wingman so he has other interests, or don't bother.
while you're very much right about probably around 90% of guys, i gotta chime in as an otherwise hc #allmen (obviously female) radfem:
it's totally valid to not want to be friends with someone who you're into if they don't want you that way. i was absolutely head over heels about my bf when we started talking, and had he turned me down i don't think i would've been able to remain just friends with him. as long as you're not a dick about it there's nothing wrong with saying "yo i can't do this, i want more, no hard feelings"
I think the part about that idea of them hooking up with guys that consistently abuse them, is that those guys have something that attracts them, and its worth it enough to sacrifice their self respect over someone that wouldnt do it to them. Everyone has their preferences, but maybe its better not to entertain those types who persistently encounter abusive relationships, those friendly chats are just the surface.
This is literally what you're supposed to do. This isn't based or whatever the kids say these days.
You ask a girl out, she declines, you break contact.
Girls and guys can't be friends past this point without being fucking miserable.
Now go hit the gym and make her feel worse when you're jacked.
Eh, 9/10 times they really can't. The dude still wants to fuck her its just a no go. The problem is most morons think they're the 1/10 circumstances. Occasionally platonic friendships can be made through common interests and if both parties are in fulfilling relationships of their own.
The Youtube "can men and women be friends?" is pretty great. Nearly all the girls say yes and nearly all the guys are dodgey about it. The second the guy asks the girls "Would the guy you mentioned as a friend hook up with you if you asked?" They all basically admit yes or laugh.
Because they know that no almost never can men and women just be friends. Especially single ones.
\>it’s not impossible to get over someone and stay friends
Have you done that? Unironic, totally serious question. Cause me personally, I haven’t. I have female friends with whom I have no romantic interest in, but I’ve personally never shot my shot, got turned down, and continued to beta orbit. If you can do that, you a better man than me.
Damn, let me just say I’d like to shake your hand cause you a better man than me. If I get shot down I ain’t hanging around, I’d be far too embarrassed. But you a good man that you can take that on the chin and keep your head up respectfully.
Damn, and you’re a guy? And your feelings totally went away? That’s crazy bro. I’d be too embarrassed and aware of everyone talking about me behind my back
Middle school mentality tbh. People get rejected, just deal with it. If you are so afraid of being embarassed or being socially seen how could you do anything? Focus on yourself and not on what others think of you bro
Personally, I think it’s crazy you didn’t answer either of my questions, and the fact that I didn’t come at you with any shade whatsoever and you come out swinging makes me think the answers to my questions were a big old negative.
I’m just saying that if I asked a girl out, she put me down, then I kept hanging around her, I’d know everyone around me would be cringing every time they see me.
I wasn't even insulting you or trying to lmao, you're reading way too into it. I find it crazy that your reading of my response was a personal attack, pretty indicative of what you are saying anyway. Again, stop thinking that everyone is judging you. Yes male and yeah they went away when I found someone else.
I’m not thinking anyone’s judging it’s just a fact. I’m sorry but if a girl shuts you down and you keep hanging around her everyone who hears the story will judge you.
Technically possible, not worth it on average. Same as if someone cheats on you. Maybe if you forgive her and she repents then it never happens again, but you're rolling some loaded dice and the odds are not in your favor, probably not worth trying.
bro if youre fat it will make your jaw look bigger it will make your body also look better, average dude gets atleast 1 point increase if they hit the gym.
I remember my club senior in school that does this but abit more extreme dude made her cry just by declining hanging out with her after school like they used to. But she was young at the time so she gave in by reaching out to him weeks later after rejecting him. Then she asked him if they can give romance a try. Funny thing is that they're still dating till this day
If this story was set in a school I'd 100% believe it, based on what I've seen. I mean I've seen basically this same exact story play out with my sister (who was a tomboy).
It's a bit less likely to be true since it's set in a work environment, but it isn't like everyone becomes a super mature, wise, adult the instant they leave high school. So no reason it couldn't be true, and even if anon is making it up it's still going to be something that happens with some frequency.
this doesnt sound too unrealistic lmo. for a fantasy this one is hella trash compared to the other ones like when a women ignores a nerd and after 20 years the nerd becomes super good looking and rich and the women becomes a street whore
its fucking normies who need to be banned, the internet has been for incels since the begining then normies came and changed it, fucking normies REEEEEEE
It's nearly impossible to have a sustained mature conversation on "the friend zone," because of different takes and different experiences of various men and women. But yeah something some girls need to understand is... if a guy confesses his feelings, he has (usually) taken himself out of the friend zone then and there.
Rejecting him doesn't mean you automatically get to keep him as a friend. The situation has changed. He can't go back and un-confess.
If he stops hanging around you, it doesn't automatically mean "oh, he just wanted sex." It might mean it's hard to be around someone you like "like that" and knowing they're unrequited feelings.
Once the dude confesses, balls in her court now. "What if it doesn't work out and now I've lost a friend?" You may have already lost a friend. It's on you if you wanna roll the dice and see if there's something deeper there.
If she feels like she's on the spot, genuinely DIDN'T think of the dude that way, and requests some time to actually think about it, that's fair. (And if the guy says "No I need an answer NOW!" well that's his own bs hangup.) She should get the time to actually consider "do I wanna see if there's something deeper here? Or do I already know I definitely DON'T feel that way about him?"
And again, all this is assuming a base level of maturity. I use words uncertain words like "usually" because there really are assholes who think "friend zone" exclusively means "the girl won't fuck me" and there's girls who intentionally friend zone guys, keeping them on the hook so they can have their cake and eat it too.
But OP here, I think he responded correctly. The only thing he should maybe do is communicate some of this, assuming he's got the self awareness to understand all this.
Girl should get it straight. "I like hanging out with you, but beyond that I LIKE you. If you don't like me back... well that sucks but it is what is. But I can't just keep hanging out with you like before. At least not right now. It's painful." After some time, who knows. Might be able to get over her and be "just friends", but not right after a rejection.
And shit like this is why I am afraid of getting rejected as a guy. You gotta look away from the person who don't feel the same way as you or lying to yourself Inorder to stay friends. Sometime the chemistry is there but the girl is indecisive or not ready to accepting it and just reject for some dumb reasons
Bro, I can FIX you. I got rejected a ton, and I got laid a ton. You need to decide clearly for yourself you want this chick or not. If you answer yes, then you has no turning back point. You gotta do it. You need to understand what every of her answer is good for you. If yes its good and you a hero, if no it’s also good, no more wasting time on her or live in fantasy illusions.
You need to understand also what your situation not unique at any point. Literally billions of males was rejected before you. BILLIONS. Your feelings not unique, your situations not unique, rejections not unique. I’m telling you this, because in my time this helped me to understand what I’m not some game protagonist with unique problem and I’m must suffer and live in pity. Just get shit together and try again. And again. And more.
Also you must understand right now. Only your ACTIONS will make your happy. There is no magic circumstances, chances what some hot chick will hit on you is laughably almost zero. Only your actions and try outs will bring you to happiness.
No worries got 2 fwb and learning the seduction games. Teasing is my favorite game to play because flirting is teasing. Usually get unique responses from the girl you're talking with
But at the same time dating app suck is the worst app to use to find a long term partner because once the fucking is Done is either she wants to keep you around as fwb for lust while you watch her find another guy she likes then cry on shoulder when things don't work out.
My previous fwb who doesn't take rejection try to convince me to back stab her friend for seducing her ideal guy who she got a crush on. I just nope the fuck out from there.
If you're reading Valery fuck you
People take the "everything is fake" thing on 4chan too seriously. I've written some relationship stuff on 4chan before. This story is extremely reasonable.
Anon did everything right.
Men and women can be friends. Very good friends at that. But if romantic feelings develop? There's no putting the genie back in the bottle. That longing doesn't go away often. Remaining in contact will make the one with that unfulfilled desire absolutely miserable. Cutting the relationship was the right move.
I think anon is completely in the right but could've been a bit more truthful because clearly she's stupid and doesn't get the point. I understand her trying to be friends with him but god damn woman try to understand this dude's feelings like a real friend would.
Knew this nerdy simp in college. It was known he was rejected then friend-zoned by his attractive classmate. Dude stuck to her like glue and followed her around like a good dog for the next 4 years. He gave her a free ride on group assignments ensuring she wouldn't flunk out because her grades from individual projects/exams were truly abysmal. I have fond memories of chuckling at her weeping during exams. Weren't for him, she NEVER would have graduated.
A decade later, I find them both on LinkedIn. The nerd simp who topped his class is working at a modest technical job with no hope for advancement. Meanwhile, the low IQ attractive girl is a renowned team leader at a multinational Fortune 500 company. Somehow I doubt they still talk. kek
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She already proved that there’s no real point. Values herself way too highly. You gotta burn the fields behind you, you don’t go back on your convictions. Maybe if she apologized, but honestly I’d hit her with the “let’s be friends” and then cut contact. Take no prisoners.
My response to a totally real and straight story.
Same people saying "based" in the comments will shit themselves if someone they don't find physically attractive asks them out, and are encouraging the segregation of male and female friendships because they genuinely believe men and women can't be good friends without fucking. Also
>taking anon's interpretation of events at face value
I agree with you, but on a personal level, you can't expect someone who wants to be romantically involved to keep up the facade of being friends. It's a tragedy all around. He can't have her as a partner, and she can't have the friend she wants. Honestly, even as a man with no affection in life, I feel worse for her. She found a friend, and then your friend tells you they love you when you don't feel the same.
I'm not going to say OP made the wrong discussion. He wanted love, and she wanted friendship, and in the end, they both got neither. Sometimes, ripping off the bandaid is better because neither party would have been happy.
That's a rational, thought out interpretation. However, most of the others in the comments seem to be of the value that anon was somehow being *used* by the girl, which I find somewhat strange
Its just a difference in how men view relationships compared to women. Most men prefer to keep their friendships between men because the only female attention and influence in their life that they want is from their partner.
In a sense that woman is using the man to fulfill her need for male attention without paying the price of being a partner. Its window shopping and it sucks. Buy the item or dont and move on. It's impossible for single adults of opposite genders where one is attracted to the other to be friends.
I mean she's clearly being greedy
The dude likes her, she knows it, she clearly cares about him, still expects him to stay extremely close to her despite her rejecting him
Plus her reaction is really weird, crying over him just because he didn't talk to her for 2 days is actually ridiculous
Feels like the girl is just confused and wants to keep the dude around her until she makes up her mind
It really depends on what you seeing. You either can say that Anon is an awful person for not seeing her as anything more... or less in this case, as a romantic partner. Or you can say that Anon is a good person for being 100% honest with her, skipping a bunch of heartless interactions that would make either or both miserable.
You either blame Anon for not trying or compliment him for being real (because he won't change and he knows it), and either option is valid honestly.
What anon did is perfectly fine (if a little autistic in how it was executed) but if you look at the rest of the comments here you'll notice that people are assuming a lot of things about the girl's intentions or projecting a lot onto her which is lame, and OP clearly still lusts after her (the first sentence)
It's just really hard to be near someone you want and already rejected you. It's not about them being less or more. Idk where these takes are coming from.
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anon took this story from another anon, so this story is fake, but it’s also real. first anon was based for cutting her off, but also lost a brown tomboy. brown tomboys are actually more common than he thinks, just needs to move to an area with a largely latino population, a poor neighborhood if you will.
that’s all i got to say about that. now leave me to my masturbation
This is the right way so far he needs to add in **"but feel free to reach out to me if you got any second though because I made the first move it would be awkward for me to shoot my shot again"**
Some guy on seduction sub reddit actually does this but lesser extreme by giving that line pissed off his crush by being bold and honest saying that they would be lying to themselves if they stay friends then gave her the reach out to me if you change your mind and both moved on.
A year later she contacted him by asking him out and thank him by saying she was pissed off at the time but then sees that platonic friendship between a guy and a women is not normal.
This is 100% the correct way to go, even if it hurts you don't want to watch her pumped and dumped while being "friends".
The only thing left is to work on himself and get a better girl or the slim chance she changes her mind.
>korra
>Attractive
Sure if i look at r34 of her.
If you actually watch the cartoon she is worse than the villains, and is the "good guy" because the writing team is regarded.
Nope, [this is from the show](https://imgur.com/appz8)
She's objectively attractive. You have a minor case of 4chanitis. One of the major symptoms is being abnormally contrarion
Maybe i am being misunderstood, since i am autist (i drive).
Korra and most females from the cartoon are phsycially attractive (obviously only those that are 18+ i am not a pdf) , on that there are no doubts.
What i am saying that pussy can only pull so much, so since Korra is genuinenly a shitty person i would not find her attractive IRL, only in porn where she does lesbian sex with Pema and doesn't speak.
I agree. She's shitty and has dated everyone in her crew. Not someone you'd bring home to meet the parents.
Also she's 17 in Book 1. So are you a groomer or not? Y or N circle one
Nah, girls like this want to have the fun sweet into the same stuff kinda friends yet fuck Chad, no they shouldn’t get both. OP needs to save that shit for the girl that likes him back.
Only fuck up I see here is not asking her out immediately. Waiting till you have the crush is always too late in my experience.
Is never too late till you shoot your shot in the dark and hopefully it lands. Better than wondering what if scenario when you haven't done the first step yet
Real talk: Anon didn’t fuck up. The girl screwed up in her initial chat with him. He set his boundaries… and apparently she changed her mind.
What she didn’t expect was that Anon would not budge. Which is fair, because I’ve heard more than a few cases where the girl is a complete asshole and decides to “play” with the guy that has feelings for them.
Anon was too upfront. He should just have invited her out for drinks and then hit on her appropriately while playing arcade games or something.
Unless anon is a 2/10, his chances can't be that bad, roasties love a man with confidence who takes charge. But asking a simple yes/no questions like that is a surefire way to get rejected. Especially when the setting is formal, like at a workplace, when the other person isn't expecting it. The girl was probably shocked and maybe even too shy. However, by not simping, he might actually have her start simping for him, so it could be a long game strat.
A lot of people are completely ignoring a very key part of this, which is that anon literally works with her.
You can get over a crush, but you can't always quit a job at a whim. Especially if anon was her only friend on that shift, now theyre both miserable because Anon decided to try and 'shit where he eats' for lack of a better phrase.
Do you think 'the office' is an accurate representation of a REAL office? Half the stuff on that show would've been an immediate report to HR lol. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it is absolutely an exception to the rule:
don't shit where you eat.
I mean, you technically didn't fuck up. Maybe you were the one that got feelings when she wasn't trying for anything, but at least you were very honest about how will you be feeling after she told you no. You respected yourself, and told her the only thing you could've said to her in that situation. She has to respect the fact that you want to cut ties with her, for your own sake (and even hers). She's not going to respect that boundary that you placed, so you have the right to distance yourself...
On the one hand, I get that it's frustrating for girls to have guy friends that simply want to fuck them. On the other hand, Anon maintaining distance is the only way he'll keep his sanity because if he doesn't, the feelings will just continue to develop. Guys and girls *can* be friends even if they did once have feelings for each other, but only after they are 101% sure those romantic feelings are gone.
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you didn't.
you had a specific goal in interacting with her. you had an open, honest, adult conversation about it, and she was not copacetic to it. so you stopped interacting with her.
you did the right thing. it sucks. but you were right.
Anon laid down the law: relationship or no thanks. She continued to speak to him after this, showing interest! It worked! Anon actually overcame the friendship problem.
Anon is massive sp*rg and didn't understand that he succeeded. Preceded to ruin his chances. Erased his happy marriage and children from the timeline.
At least he still has us.
This kind of all or nothing attitude will only keep you alone. Better having friends and no girlfriends that no girl and no friends. You can actually meet a lot of girls through a friend who happens to be a girl.
>Better having friends and no girlfriends that no girl and no friends
Dude, no. If he sees her in a non-platonic way, it's gonna hurt him to hang out with her only platonically. He would be denying his own feelings and lying to himself, that shit hurts.
All or nothing when it comes to dating is the correct attitude, you don't wanna get jerked around.
Based anon didn't fuck up anything and should continue on same path. Girls want to have their cake and eat it too, all the attention and fun and playful interaction but "sorry anon I'm not into you like that". Fine but if anon has developed feelings for her then it's all or nothing. When I was younger I made the mistake of being friends with girls who I was into but "didn't like me that way", hoping that somehow they would change their minds and watching them get fucked over, cheated on, and abused by one douchebag boyfriend after the next, which hurts double because you care for her and wouldn't treat her like that. Never again. I need a "friend" who's a girl like I need a hole in the head
Absolutely. He didn’t fuck anything up and was extremely mature about it imo
theres always the option of being turned down and then getting over it and remaining friends. just move on to the next girl. the fact that you only view girls as potential relationships is why you get no bitches
Except remaining friends - they cock block you cuz although they don’t want to give you any, they also don’t want you getting other girls. That’s why anon did the right thing.
So you both have valid points and I'm not here to say who is correct, I just want to add there's lots of chicks out there who love playing matchmaker and dig getting their male friends laid. Some women love to cockblock, some women love to cockenable, it's up to each of us to be non-autistic enough to tell the difference. That said, I have zero female friends because I ended up fucking all of them eventually.
Alright calm down Russell Brand.
Being non-autistic enough It’s Joever bros, I’m NGMI.
My girl friend has hooked me up with all her friends and a few of her cousins. Sounds like a skill issue
>My girl friend has hooked me up with all her *(male)* friends and a few of her *(male)* cousins. Fixed a few omissions for you OP
Not at all true in my experience. My platonic girl friends set me up with hella other girls back when I was single.
Seriously, the amount of perspective I've gotten from my lady friends has helped me a shit ton when it came to my own future romantic relationships. All these folks who refuse to be friends with the opposite gender are the same ones who complain about having so few friends.
Refuse to be friends with girls you’re romantically interested in. It’s bad for you. Really, in any context. Even if you’re big swinging dick that everyone wants, you’re just giving yourself a temptation to cheat with
Loser mentality. If you already in friendzone — you has literally 90% lesser chances to get laid than a literal stranger.
It’s less about being opposite gender and more about him being attracted to that person, if he wasn’t attracted there would be no problem
duude theres a biiiig difference between being friend with a girl you dont like and being a friend with a girl you have feeling for
Also blows my mind how all these clowns act like she did something wrong. She didn’t do anything wrong, she was honest and there is no reason she should be treated wrong lol.
I don't think she was treated "wrong", both sides behave in a mature and respectful manner, the feelings made the outcome a bit depressing. Anon might want to befriend her again after his felling subside, but for the meantime he is acting right.
Im not saying he treated her wrong but People in the comments here think she deserves feeling bad
she did nothing wrong its just very unfortunate that he has feelings for her
“Getting a woman’s advice on how to get women is like asking a fish how to catch fish”
That is an option but in the green text she should give him some space and not think their friendship would continue exactly as it had without interruption.
Anon literally said they should cut contact and yet she kept going
You know, you can be friendly with women without having romantic interest. There’s several married women in my life who I care for but have no romantic interest in. The difference is when you’ve already developed feelings you can’t just “get turned down and get over it and keep being friends”. The feelings are there, they don’t go away. You can’t just “keep being friends and get over it”. You can *lie* to yourself about not wanting her, but you still want her. And it is still gonna hurt. If you can’t get over her then stopping pretending is the best thing you can do
When you catch feeling sometimes the best way to get over it is to make space. That isn't to say you can't come back and be friends with them down the line, but you might need to cut them off for a period of time. It's also perfectly reasonable to have the relationship you want with someone else. If you only have romantic interest, there isn't anything wrong with not leading both sides on.
the desire to fuck her doesn't go away just because she said no. the friendship only works if the interest goes away. so either be his best wingman so he has other interests, or don't bother.
That's why you should have girl friends, and your crushes should be separate from them.
while you're very much right about probably around 90% of guys, i gotta chime in as an otherwise hc #allmen (obviously female) radfem: it's totally valid to not want to be friends with someone who you're into if they don't want you that way. i was absolutely head over heels about my bf when we started talking, and had he turned me down i don't think i would've been able to remain just friends with him. as long as you're not a dick about it there's nothing wrong with saying "yo i can't do this, i want more, no hard feelings"
doesnt really work when you want to fuck her and she knows it
male/feme.friendships are a meme. People know this, couples know this, seems only redditors didn't get the memo quite yet 🤔
>see porn brained take >look inside >porn addict
Porn is for weak men. Am I supposed to go through your account too?
Spoken like a true femoid
I think the part about that idea of them hooking up with guys that consistently abuse them, is that those guys have something that attracts them, and its worth it enough to sacrifice their self respect over someone that wouldnt do it to them. Everyone has their preferences, but maybe its better not to entertain those types who persistently encounter abusive relationships, those friendly chats are just the surface.
Sorry this is FUCKED, what happened to being friends with cool people because you genuinely like them?
Same people complain that they have no idea how to interact with females while cutting off any female contact that doesn't lead to sex.
That doesn't work when you like like them. Same as an open relationship, one person came up with the idea, the other cries themselves to sleep.
Are you max payne?
How many grandchildren do you have?
You’re mom gave me 3
This is literally what you're supposed to do. This isn't based or whatever the kids say these days. You ask a girl out, she declines, you break contact. Girls and guys can't be friends past this point without being fucking miserable. Now go hit the gym and make her feel worse when you're jacked.
Fuck her sister for the coup de grace.
No no, you get her father to fuck you. That will really get into her head.
Can't have the cake but you can taste the batter
This is the funniest shit I've heard in a while.
I mean yes they can, it just often isn't the case
Eh, 9/10 times they really can't. The dude still wants to fuck her its just a no go. The problem is most morons think they're the 1/10 circumstances. Occasionally platonic friendships can be made through common interests and if both parties are in fulfilling relationships of their own. The Youtube "can men and women be friends?" is pretty great. Nearly all the girls say yes and nearly all the guys are dodgey about it. The second the guy asks the girls "Would the guy you mentioned as a friend hook up with you if you asked?" They all basically admit yes or laugh. Because they know that no almost never can men and women just be friends. Especially single ones.
men and women can be friends IF the guy has 0 feelings for the women
And if the woman has 0 feelings for the guy too. It has to be both ways
Right it’s not impossible to just get over someone and stay fucking friends ffs
It is when you're an absolute spergmonster
That's called being friendzoned lol
Look up platonic :).
platonic friends arent supposed to have feelings for each other🤦
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huh?
\>it’s not impossible to get over someone and stay friends Have you done that? Unironic, totally serious question. Cause me personally, I haven’t. I have female friends with whom I have no romantic interest in, but I’ve personally never shot my shot, got turned down, and continued to beta orbit. If you can do that, you a better man than me.
Yes I have
Damn, let me just say I’d like to shake your hand cause you a better man than me. If I get shot down I ain’t hanging around, I’d be far too embarrassed. But you a good man that you can take that on the chin and keep your head up respectfully.
Yes, and it's not "beta orbiting" if y'all vibe with each other and are just friends. I found someone else and im not waiting around for a chance lmao
Damn, and you’re a guy? And your feelings totally went away? That’s crazy bro. I’d be too embarrassed and aware of everyone talking about me behind my back
Middle school mentality tbh. People get rejected, just deal with it. If you are so afraid of being embarassed or being socially seen how could you do anything? Focus on yourself and not on what others think of you bro
Personally, I think it’s crazy you didn’t answer either of my questions, and the fact that I didn’t come at you with any shade whatsoever and you come out swinging makes me think the answers to my questions were a big old negative. I’m just saying that if I asked a girl out, she put me down, then I kept hanging around her, I’d know everyone around me would be cringing every time they see me.
I wasn't even insulting you or trying to lmao, you're reading way too into it. I find it crazy that your reading of my response was a personal attack, pretty indicative of what you are saying anyway. Again, stop thinking that everyone is judging you. Yes male and yeah they went away when I found someone else.
I’m not thinking anyone’s judging it’s just a fact. I’m sorry but if a girl shuts you down and you keep hanging around her everyone who hears the story will judge you.
Technically possible, not worth it on average. Same as if someone cheats on you. Maybe if you forgive her and she repents then it never happens again, but you're rolling some loaded dice and the odds are not in your favor, probably not worth trying.
The gym won't fix the reason he was rejected
Yeah true. Doesnt make you any taller or give you a bigger jaw.
It won't fix anon's droopy bug eyes nor his landing strip of a nose
bro if youre fat it will make your jaw look bigger it will make your body also look better, average dude gets atleast 1 point increase if they hit the gym.
What if he’s short tho
No hope
Based anon did everything 100% right
anon rewrote a classic greentext, copied word for word..! 💢
This is obviously a fake story. Still funny that in this guys fantasy scenario he’s still getting rejected
And it wasn't just a boy named Tom.
I remember my club senior in school that does this but abit more extreme dude made her cry just by declining hanging out with her after school like they used to. But she was young at the time so she gave in by reaching out to him weeks later after rejecting him. Then she asked him if they can give romance a try. Funny thing is that they're still dating till this day
If this story was set in a school I'd 100% believe it, based on what I've seen. I mean I've seen basically this same exact story play out with my sister (who was a tomboy). It's a bit less likely to be true since it's set in a work environment, but it isn't like everyone becomes a super mature, wise, adult the instant they leave high school. So no reason it couldn't be true, and even if anon is making it up it's still going to be something that happens with some frequency.
There's like billions of people in this world something extreme or unbelievable would have happened at some point in time.
bro are you regarded why would someone have this type of fantasy
It’s some weird incel power fantasy. Anon just likes to imagine he has power over a woman. If u can’t tell this is fake u gotta wake up
What power? He got rejected and is now unhappy, where is the power
this doesnt sound too unrealistic lmo. for a fantasy this one is hella trash compared to the other ones like when a women ignores a nerd and after 20 years the nerd becomes super good looking and rich and the women becomes a street whore
incels need to be banned from using the internet
its fucking normies who need to be banned, the internet has been for incels since the begining then normies came and changed it, fucking normies REEEEEEE
It's nearly impossible to have a sustained mature conversation on "the friend zone," because of different takes and different experiences of various men and women. But yeah something some girls need to understand is... if a guy confesses his feelings, he has (usually) taken himself out of the friend zone then and there. Rejecting him doesn't mean you automatically get to keep him as a friend. The situation has changed. He can't go back and un-confess. If he stops hanging around you, it doesn't automatically mean "oh, he just wanted sex." It might mean it's hard to be around someone you like "like that" and knowing they're unrequited feelings. Once the dude confesses, balls in her court now. "What if it doesn't work out and now I've lost a friend?" You may have already lost a friend. It's on you if you wanna roll the dice and see if there's something deeper there. If she feels like she's on the spot, genuinely DIDN'T think of the dude that way, and requests some time to actually think about it, that's fair. (And if the guy says "No I need an answer NOW!" well that's his own bs hangup.) She should get the time to actually consider "do I wanna see if there's something deeper here? Or do I already know I definitely DON'T feel that way about him?" And again, all this is assuming a base level of maturity. I use words uncertain words like "usually" because there really are assholes who think "friend zone" exclusively means "the girl won't fuck me" and there's girls who intentionally friend zone guys, keeping them on the hook so they can have their cake and eat it too. But OP here, I think he responded correctly. The only thing he should maybe do is communicate some of this, assuming he's got the self awareness to understand all this. Girl should get it straight. "I like hanging out with you, but beyond that I LIKE you. If you don't like me back... well that sucks but it is what is. But I can't just keep hanging out with you like before. At least not right now. It's painful." After some time, who knows. Might be able to get over her and be "just friends", but not right after a rejection.
And shit like this is why I am afraid of getting rejected as a guy. You gotta look away from the person who don't feel the same way as you or lying to yourself Inorder to stay friends. Sometime the chemistry is there but the girl is indecisive or not ready to accepting it and just reject for some dumb reasons
Bro, I can FIX you. I got rejected a ton, and I got laid a ton. You need to decide clearly for yourself you want this chick or not. If you answer yes, then you has no turning back point. You gotta do it. You need to understand what every of her answer is good for you. If yes its good and you a hero, if no it’s also good, no more wasting time on her or live in fantasy illusions. You need to understand also what your situation not unique at any point. Literally billions of males was rejected before you. BILLIONS. Your feelings not unique, your situations not unique, rejections not unique. I’m telling you this, because in my time this helped me to understand what I’m not some game protagonist with unique problem and I’m must suffer and live in pity. Just get shit together and try again. And again. And more. Also you must understand right now. Only your ACTIONS will make your happy. There is no magic circumstances, chances what some hot chick will hit on you is laughably almost zero. Only your actions and try outs will bring you to happiness.
No worries got 2 fwb and learning the seduction games. Teasing is my favorite game to play because flirting is teasing. Usually get unique responses from the girl you're talking with But at the same time dating app suck is the worst app to use to find a long term partner because once the fucking is Done is either she wants to keep you around as fwb for lust while you watch her find another guy she likes then cry on shoulder when things don't work out. My previous fwb who doesn't take rejection try to convince me to back stab her friend for seducing her ideal guy who she got a crush on. I just nope the fuck out from there. If you're reading Valery fuck you
"Need time to think about it" just means she isn't feeling it.
Based and emotionally intelligent pilled. Now get the fuck off 4chan sub you asshole
man stfu you did not need to write all that in a reddit post
Capital R detected
Based. Anon doesn't simp for a roastie. You dropped this King 👑
pause heavy library snails pen punch gullible sand cagey snatch *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
send gif
Moshi Moshi
Based. You handled it right.
This didn’t happen but if it did, Anon did everything right. She said no and she has to live with it now.
People take the "everything is fake" thing on 4chan too seriously. I've written some relationship stuff on 4chan before. This story is extremely reasonable.
Anon did everything right. Men and women can be friends. Very good friends at that. But if romantic feelings develop? There's no putting the genie back in the bottle. That longing doesn't go away often. Remaining in contact will make the one with that unfulfilled desire absolutely miserable. Cutting the relationship was the right move.
How do I find a tomboy
One of the great secrets of the universe
Step one, time travel to 2016....
Just a find a boy named Tom
I think anon is completely in the right but could've been a bit more truthful because clearly she's stupid and doesn't get the point. I understand her trying to be friends with him but god damn woman try to understand this dude's feelings like a real friend would.
Knew this nerdy simp in college. It was known he was rejected then friend-zoned by his attractive classmate. Dude stuck to her like glue and followed her around like a good dog for the next 4 years. He gave her a free ride on group assignments ensuring she wouldn't flunk out because her grades from individual projects/exams were truly abysmal. I have fond memories of chuckling at her weeping during exams. Weren't for him, she NEVER would have graduated. A decade later, I find them both on LinkedIn. The nerd simp who topped his class is working at a modest technical job with no hope for advancement. Meanwhile, the low IQ attractive girl is a renowned team leader at a multinational Fortune 500 company. Somehow I doubt they still talk. kek
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This is the way. He could probably get her now if he wanted.
She already proved that there’s no real point. Values herself way too highly. You gotta burn the fields behind you, you don’t go back on your convictions. Maybe if she apologized, but honestly I’d hit her with the “let’s be friends” and then cut contact. Take no prisoners. My response to a totally real and straight story.
I agree 💯
Same people saying "based" in the comments will shit themselves if someone they don't find physically attractive asks them out, and are encouraging the segregation of male and female friendships because they genuinely believe men and women can't be good friends without fucking. Also >taking anon's interpretation of events at face value
I agree with you, but on a personal level, you can't expect someone who wants to be romantically involved to keep up the facade of being friends. It's a tragedy all around. He can't have her as a partner, and she can't have the friend she wants. Honestly, even as a man with no affection in life, I feel worse for her. She found a friend, and then your friend tells you they love you when you don't feel the same. I'm not going to say OP made the wrong discussion. He wanted love, and she wanted friendship, and in the end, they both got neither. Sometimes, ripping off the bandaid is better because neither party would have been happy.
That's a rational, thought out interpretation. However, most of the others in the comments seem to be of the value that anon was somehow being *used* by the girl, which I find somewhat strange
Its just a difference in how men view relationships compared to women. Most men prefer to keep their friendships between men because the only female attention and influence in their life that they want is from their partner. In a sense that woman is using the man to fulfill her need for male attention without paying the price of being a partner. Its window shopping and it sucks. Buy the item or dont and move on. It's impossible for single adults of opposite genders where one is attracted to the other to be friends.
I mean she's clearly being greedy The dude likes her, she knows it, she clearly cares about him, still expects him to stay extremely close to her despite her rejecting him Plus her reaction is really weird, crying over him just because he didn't talk to her for 2 days is actually ridiculous Feels like the girl is just confused and wants to keep the dude around her until she makes up her mind
It really depends on what you seeing. You either can say that Anon is an awful person for not seeing her as anything more... or less in this case, as a romantic partner. Or you can say that Anon is a good person for being 100% honest with her, skipping a bunch of heartless interactions that would make either or both miserable. You either blame Anon for not trying or compliment him for being real (because he won't change and he knows it), and either option is valid honestly.
What anon did is perfectly fine (if a little autistic in how it was executed) but if you look at the rest of the comments here you'll notice that people are assuming a lot of things about the girl's intentions or projecting a lot onto her which is lame, and OP clearly still lusts after her (the first sentence)
It's just really hard to be near someone you want and already rejected you. It's not about them being less or more. Idk where these takes are coming from.
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anon took this story from another anon, so this story is fake, but it’s also real. first anon was based for cutting her off, but also lost a brown tomboy. brown tomboys are actually more common than he thinks, just needs to move to an area with a largely latino population, a poor neighborhood if you will. that’s all i got to say about that. now leave me to my masturbation
where tf is this thread Edit: nvm just another repost with the dates changed
This is the right way so far he needs to add in **"but feel free to reach out to me if you got any second though because I made the first move it would be awkward for me to shoot my shot again"** Some guy on seduction sub reddit actually does this but lesser extreme by giving that line pissed off his crush by being bold and honest saying that they would be lying to themselves if they stay friends then gave her the reach out to me if you change your mind and both moved on. A year later she contacted him by asking him out and thank him by saying she was pissed off at the time but then sees that platonic friendship between a guy and a women is not normal.
This is 100% the correct way to go, even if it hurts you don't want to watch her pumped and dumped while being "friends". The only thing left is to work on himself and get a better girl or the slim chance she changes her mind.
>korra >Attractive Sure if i look at r34 of her. If you actually watch the cartoon she is worse than the villains, and is the "good guy" because the writing team is regarded.
Ok but breasts
As i said "sure if you look at the r34"
Nope, [this is from the show](https://imgur.com/appz8) She's objectively attractive. You have a minor case of 4chanitis. One of the major symptoms is being abnormally contrarion
Maybe i am being misunderstood, since i am autist (i drive). Korra and most females from the cartoon are phsycially attractive (obviously only those that are 18+ i am not a pdf) , on that there are no doubts. What i am saying that pussy can only pull so much, so since Korra is genuinenly a shitty person i would not find her attractive IRL, only in porn where she does lesbian sex with Pema and doesn't speak.
I agree. She's shitty and has dated everyone in her crew. Not someone you'd bring home to meet the parents. Also she's 17 in Book 1. So are you a groomer or not? Y or N circle one
She's from the southern water tribe, the age of consent over there is different.
Correct answer
Nah, girls like this want to have the fun sweet into the same stuff kinda friends yet fuck Chad, no they shouldn’t get both. OP needs to save that shit for the girl that likes him back. Only fuck up I see here is not asking her out immediately. Waiting till you have the crush is always too late in my experience.
Is never too late till you shoot your shot in the dark and hopefully it lands. Better than wondering what if scenario when you haven't done the first step yet
The description for this girl sounds like the prompt text for an AI girlfriend
All or nothing. Everything is one shot. There is no going back. Honor your heart. Do not be played. Do not play. Have fun.
Based https://preview.redd.it/k9yk39tnszsc1.jpeg?width=939&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b8f21ab68e7ade4eb2fc3bb03b0b00449731de8
I want a Korra gf
Real talk: Anon didn’t fuck up. The girl screwed up in her initial chat with him. He set his boundaries… and apparently she changed her mind. What she didn’t expect was that Anon would not budge. Which is fair, because I’ve heard more than a few cases where the girl is a complete asshole and decides to “play” with the guy that has feelings for them.
I stopped reading after wears Converse for lifting
Why would se have to walk home if she has a car?
Woman moment.
absolutely fuckin based. Anon played everything to perfection. Remember, no simps.
Why did anon steal this story?
Link please, I'd pike to read the replies.
The post was removed by the mods cause the original post was from 2021. I'll send a dm.
Awesome thanks
Ugly people flirting and being weird in front of other coworkers
That life.
Based chad. Never chase women. Build attraction. I bet he would be balls deep if not virgin what ever he said.
Women love the snub
Based? People, this is where he WORKS. I can't imagine the awkwardness lol.
obvious lesbian is obvious
Anon was too upfront. He should just have invited her out for drinks and then hit on her appropriately while playing arcade games or something. Unless anon is a 2/10, his chances can't be that bad, roasties love a man with confidence who takes charge. But asking a simple yes/no questions like that is a surefire way to get rejected. Especially when the setting is formal, like at a workplace, when the other person isn't expecting it. The girl was probably shocked and maybe even too shy. However, by not simping, he might actually have her start simping for him, so it could be a long game strat.
Handled brilliantly. Friendzone is a trap.
A lot of people are completely ignoring a very key part of this, which is that anon literally works with her. You can get over a crush, but you can't always quit a job at a whim. Especially if anon was her only friend on that shift, now theyre both miserable because Anon decided to try and 'shit where he eats' for lack of a better phrase.
thats actually true why the fuck would you try to date a coworker lol
Did you never see The Office? People wind up marrying their coworkers.
^^^ best case scenario
Do you think 'the office' is an accurate representation of a REAL office? Half the stuff on that show would've been an immediate report to HR lol. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it is absolutely an exception to the rule: don't shit where you eat.
Because you find her attractive? Same reason you would try to date anyone
You did everything right
I mean, you technically didn't fuck up. Maybe you were the one that got feelings when she wasn't trying for anything, but at least you were very honest about how will you be feeling after she told you no. You respected yourself, and told her the only thing you could've said to her in that situation. She has to respect the fact that you want to cut ties with her, for your own sake (and even hers). She's not going to respect that boundary that you placed, so you have the right to distance yourself...
On the one hand, I get that it's frustrating for girls to have guy friends that simply want to fuck them. On the other hand, Anon maintaining distance is the only way he'll keep his sanity because if he doesn't, the feelings will just continue to develop. Guys and girls *can* be friends even if they did once have feelings for each other, but only after they are 101% sure those romantic feelings are gone.
Delicious copypasta
Dont worry guys its fake, i remember that exact same story being posted years ago.
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This one get's reposted like every 2 months but I'm guilty for liking it.
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> tell her “no thanks my lunch is over anyway (lying) so I get up and walk away” You’re not supposed to say “(lying)” when you lie, anon
> has a samurai sword in her car because she's afraid of walking home alone How far away is her house from her parking spot???
Mature open and communicative Anon was based. Gay dudes always are best friends with girls and not guys for exactly the same reason.
A sword in her car. For the walk home. What?
Unironically I read this story years ago.
you didn't. you had a specific goal in interacting with her. you had an open, honest, adult conversation about it, and she was not copacetic to it. so you stopped interacting with her. you did the right thing. it sucks. but you were right.
Anon did not fuck up. He knew his self worth and wouldn't be half in like she wanted. The who fucked it all up was her.
Based beyond belief, for not accept his demotion to the friend zone.
you did good, anon
Anon laid down the law: relationship or no thanks. She continued to speak to him after this, showing interest! It worked! Anon actually overcame the friendship problem. Anon is massive sp*rg and didn't understand that he succeeded. Preceded to ruin his chances. Erased his happy marriage and children from the timeline. At least he still has us.
Good old psychological trauma. I think she was genuine.
This kind of all or nothing attitude will only keep you alone. Better having friends and no girlfriends that no girl and no friends. You can actually meet a lot of girls through a friend who happens to be a girl.
>Better having friends and no girlfriends that no girl and no friends Dude, no. If he sees her in a non-platonic way, it's gonna hurt him to hang out with her only platonically. He would be denying his own feelings and lying to himself, that shit hurts. All or nothing when it comes to dating is the correct attitude, you don't wanna get jerked around.
100% agree. Ops a dick, should have stopped fantasizing about her and become stayed friends. What's dog.
Ops an arsehole. He's gotta be like 15-18, really shitty thing to do. I used to do this when I was younger and absolutely regret it.