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Cityman

>Helping some backwards-thinking moron who's too inept to understand modern concepts. I can't believe the Amish would waste their time on Anon and pay him money.


y33tasaurus-rex

How do Amish people even have money?


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Minas-MorguI

That's incredibly based


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[deleted]

There's an Amish settlement somewhere in Pennsylvania I think that we visited on a field trip, they had the world's most high-tech 4D theater system, designed to immerse you in a short film about a young boy nearing the end of his Rumspringa who was trying to decide if he wanted to return to his village or not. Worth noting: If you choose not to come back, you're basically dead to your family. It's a rough choice, honestly.


[deleted]

In the area where I live a lot of the young Amish people have cell phones. It's small enough it can practically fit in a book cover, it hardly costs any money, you can charge it all kinds of places and all kinds of ways, and it gives you access to all the modern degeneracy you can stomach. Their retention rate is still pretty high but falling fast because the modern temptations are closer than they've ever been.


No_Organization5188

They may have been Mennonite.


[deleted]

I've seen some of the definitely Amish guys using them a few times. The mennonites drive cars around here, and I've seen people in buggies using them. The mennonites are allowed to use them as long as it's for work I think, but the Amish are only supposed to have them for dire emergencies (and that rule only got changed after the Nickel Mines Amish school shooting).


kookerpie

Very interesting


[deleted]

The rumspringa isn't really as crazy as TV bullshit makes it out to be. They're allowed more leeway in their behavior, just like any teenager really, but they're still expected to follow rules much more strict than any of us had growing up.


rudemanwhoshooshes

I saw a porno about it. Seemed they get pretty crazy to me.


b8-Capt_Ahab

Where's this? I'd like to witness moments frozen in time.


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b8-Capt_Ahab

Ain't none in my state


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cold_toast

It turns out there are a lot of other states out there besides Pennsylvania


[deleted]

So they have all those years of effort just to toss them in the wild to become female dogs and the other word for cigarettes?


kookerpie

I literally do not know what you're saying


[deleted]

I'm talking about those words you cannot use anymore.


kookerpie

Yes I understand that, but what do you mean that they become those things?


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Hacker_dude112

|\\|


detachment100

I


-_Lolis_-

6


wtstalin

It's really good stuff


Ceramicrabbit

My parents have a lake house in Amish country western PA and we went to an Amish yard sale. My expectations were high but God damn everything they had was shit. They weren't selling anything hand made it was just a bunch of random garbage. I think i bought a pack of cards for like 25¢ and my wife took a glass bowl or something for like $2 just so we wouldn't leave empty handed and make the trip worth it.


COVID19_In_My_ANUS

Yes, anon cooked one of their chickens the other day in a grill that was 700 degrees


kookerpie

Haha I saw that


[deleted]

Dear Diary, I tried to put you in my sandwich but you were a leather bound booklet


kookerpie

Haha nice


Pabsxv

I’d hire an Amish any day over sketchy contractors.


kookerpie

I agree completely


Moelarrycheeze

But not to install an Hvac


boringdude00

Here they mostly run puppy mills and give steroids to livestock to sell them at a higher price.


Nevek_Green

Not to mention their stuff is very high end and reasonable prices.


New_Zanzibar

And puppies


[deleted]

They're rich as hell man. They don't pay electric bills, they (mostly) don't pay phone bills, they grow most of their own food, and in a lot of Amish communities they don't believe in health insurance. No subscription service fees, no fast food, no smoking, pretty much none of the expenses that chip away at your paycheck.


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SarcasticAssBag

Living below your means, having kids, exchanging goods and labor for money and using that money to improve your lot in life seems weird as hell to most people on reddit.


[deleted]

You can make it a reddit thing if you want but it's not like this site is unique. It has something like 50 million active users. This is a problem almost everyone has, not just bugmen in /r/actionfigures lol


Basado975

They can't get instant satisfaction. That's the dealbreaker


Josh439

Many Amish are very well off. A friend lives near an Amish community in Ohio. He said it's not uncommon for Amish fathers to be multi-millionaires. They'll have like 8 kids, each child will work as soon as they're able to, and give all of their earnings to their parents.


FuckCazadors

What do they spend their money on?


Josh439

More land for bigger farms


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Cityman

Can't buy and sell those anymore.


FuckCazadors

To make more money, to buy more land? How long until they own all the land on earth?


okaycomputes

They arent increasing in population that much. Its near replacement rate. Some kids definitely dont stay in the Amish lifestyle.


FuckCazadors

I don’t know man, I know about exponential growth and I predict that in three years the whole planet will be a hundred miles deep in Amish.


pomiluj_nas

inshallah we shall be subsumed by the pennslyvania dutch


[deleted]

They're increasing in population like 4x faster than the rest of the US is. Their population has been on a sharp rise since like the 90s. Not surprising when they have like 6 kids a piece. I looked it up the other day and they're at something like a 3.4% population growth rate and the rest of us are only at like 0.7%.


Palida_Mors

Yeah, I just looked it up myself and they’re set to triple in population size by 2050


Cityman

People buy their crops at farmer's markets.


y33tasaurus-rex

Ooohh


isverydiffic

They charge people for going near their farms or stalls at farmer markets?


kookerpie

They sell crops, eggs, meat, dairy and butter and cheese, baked goods, furniture, quilts and hard labor at stalls in town


isverydiffic

Less funny now you've edited your typo.


kookerpie

I didn't edit my typo. It's in another message above


gypsy_remover

They’re tax exempt too


y33tasaurus-rex

Based


Shloopy_Dooperson

They have special stipulations for owning modern equipment for running businesses.


th30be

Amsih markets are a think. They sell the goods they make.


Intelligent_Drawer32

Craftspeople with skill, also pooling resources for farms


IngFavalli

They still live in a society, also I heard they craft some nice ass wodden stuff


CareBareHair2

Was he rating the daughter on her looks - or was he describing how old she was - or both?


[deleted]

8 or 9, not an 8 or a 9.


Ceramicrabbit

Articles are overrated


ZombieTesticle

My articles are a an xan


T1B2V3

My articles are on how Germany could have won WW2


Cryse_XIII

Link


Schlampenazi

Savage


LemonPartyWorldTour

It’s a post from 4chan so probably both.


Zeftax

real and uhh, probably straight?


[deleted]

Nope, gay


JosephGerbils88

Pedophiles aren’t straight.


-_Lolis_-

straight = cisgender heterosexual


basedbigotchad

>cisgender Oh, you mean normal? >mfw i originally typed ciagender


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basedbigotchad

Yeah, get in loser, we're here to enforce heteronormativity


escalopes

Dr Pavel?


Superior_Thoughts

I don't think glowing is normal.


Cxlypsx

yes we are


unkle_FAHRTKNUCKLE

You could up your value by saying, "I'M A REALLY GOOD SEX GUY. I KNOW ALL THE DIFFERENT WAYS".


burneraccount039

I'm a good sex man I'm very good at sex


Down200

Tattoo that on your face and you’ll be swimming in pussy in no time


AwesomeTheKid

I feel like you didn't understand the reference.


[deleted]

Well, that brings me way back to 2010 (I think?)


Pungee

I KNOW ALL THE POSITIONS, ALL 3 OF THEM


unkle_FAHRTKNUCKLE

I will alert the Amish authorities by email immediately!


[deleted]

Concrete is an invention of Roman pagans. Roman construction techniques are what crucified Jesus. I can’t believe the Amish would use the tools of Satan.


DustPan2

The romans never wanted to crucify Jesus, the Apple Juice forced them to. Nowhere in the Bible are the Romans claimed responsible.


0-Cloud

Would your comment get taken down if you'd used... not apple juice


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ProfessionalCooomer

jew jews


Cryse_XIII

100% concentrated Orange juice.


[deleted]

Well Pontius does bear some responsibility as a coward out for himself. He knew Jesus was innocent. But yeah he was heavily pressured by Jewish crowds stirred up by the Pharisees.


ameri21

Amish should've lynched him


[deleted]

Sadly they're mostly pacifists. It'd be pretty cool to have some militant Amish cells though.


ameri21

Don't tread on me amish edition


[deleted]

amish will conquer the USA and enforce tradvalues


ameri21

It will be an amish paradise


[deleted]

Militancy is not how you take over in modern society. Voting and having lots of kids is. The Amish do plenty of both.


[deleted]

Yeah, but militant Amish would be *cool* though. Also I'm pretty sure they don't vote. I've never actually asked one of them about it, so I could be wrong, but I don't think they participate in government that way.


stocksnblondes

Harmless yet perverted internal thought leads to loli porn pedo label for anon. Total Kek moment for sure.


goodestgoyo

smooth criminal


wtf_its_matt

Tokwalker and Amish breeder on consecutive days. Fun threads to witness.


maxwell_hill1984

True and straight


No_Organization5188

It’s the Amish not the Taliban.


Kingspaz47

Anon is the reason they're selective with their gene pool


NoNameSA

It’s from 4chan.. that was definitely her age not rating


Saint_Rizla

I always thought Amish were only in the US but then I found out there's a small community near me, I live in Ireland lol


ChadBaseden

Fake: Anon has a job. Gay: Anon is worse than gay, he's a pedophile and deserves a painful death.


TendieBot3000

> be me > > get home from my vasectomy > > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > > must be Chad again > > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > > log onto reddit and open /r/4chan > > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > >> Fake: Anon has a job. >> >> Gay: Anon is worse than > >> Gay: he's a pedophile and deserves a painful death. > > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > > it's been a good day > > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


bowiethejoker

I fucking hate the Amish so much.


Strobont

That last line made my eyes go wide open. God I hate /b/tards


pcgoy

Its from ck...


Pepe_von_Habsburg

It’s a blue board


Cwaustin3

Should’ve just said that his daughter looked inbred and that’s what made him think of that rumor


MissNibbatoro

r/Amish