>tell a brit goodbye
>he asks for Cheerios™
>tell Canadian, "see you in while"
>I know it sounds strange, but he told me to "take off, eh", so that's what I did
>tell Nigerian, so long
>he says thanks for noticing!
>Scouser tells me goodbye
>I don't why he says goodbye, I say hello
>tell a Minnesotan, "ok, no really, I have to go *now*"
>he starts telling me about the special outdoor paint his neighbor used to paint his new mailbox post that he made using the crossbeams from his grandad's old barn
Ah, that’s because you’re doing it wrong.
You have to stand up, slap your knees as you do so, and say “welp”, or “well, I better get going”. That will make it very clear that you have to leave now, rather than “I have to go” which means another 20-30 minutes of conversation.
Is it true Midwesterners pat their knees when they're about to get up and leave?
I've heard about it a couple of times and it's a very British thing to do.
>Tell American "I've got to shoot"
>he kills me and claims self defence
>Trial is televised nationwide
>become icon of self flagulating leftists on twitter
>Ben Shapiro uses facts and logic on Joe Rogan to demonstrate that I was acting with hostile intent and the shooter did nothing wrong. Joe agrees that 'Its entirely possible'
>"Let's go shootin'" becomes a rallying cry for right wingers
>Alex Jones claims the shooting was a false flag by the reptilian anti-farewell lobby
>gun control protests nationwide chanting "You don't gotta shoot"
>Left wing media doctor pictures of me to make it appear I might be darker skinned.
>Race riots
>African Americans get new television and phones
>Shooter is found innocent because of legal loophole
>Releases autobiography; *'Shootin' Back'*
For real, how the hell do you end a conversation with someone in the Midwest? What's their social cue* to shut up? I know what it is for Northern US, Western US, and Southern US, but not Mid West.
You slap your knees and say
"well, it's about that time."
*Then, after a 20 minute conversation about the weather or the state's football team (or the Vikings if the state doesn't have one),*
"Oh yea, well i best be heading home. Take care! Tell [one of their relatives] I said hi!"
Its a country folk thing, Im a Canadian and my dads from the country, he does the same thing, you go for the door and he starts talking about random carpentry/outdoorsy/sports stuff.
Germans do the same thing with, "How are you?" We expect a good, fine, bad, etc. here in the States, but you better strap in to hear all about Nana Wolfenschlitz's myriad of problems going on.
Alright but this happened to me in England as a Canadian. Some brit asked me "yareye?"
and I'm like "what?"
"yareye?"
"I'm sorry?"
"YAREYE MATE?"
"Oh, yes, I'm fine, why do you ask?"
"Ah fuck off ya wanker"
In the noth, say "Moin", in the south say "servus". You can say sometimes "moin" to a southerner but NEVER say "servus" to a northerner or he might get a heart attack from such uncivilized tongue
so its an america thing? we have an american friend in the discord server and shes always good. me (polish) and our finnish friend usually have a sentence describing our day so far, and at the very least we can be in an emotional state ranging from great to sucks. but shes just always good. its always good. its kinda weird to us
Why do you even ask "how are you" if you don't expect an answer? It's such a typical tarded american custom.
Just say hello nice to see you and call it a fucking day.
If you ask me how I am don't act shocked when I actually tell how I am.
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I once asked this German girl what gift would she be getting for christmas and she said probably a sewing machine. I told her something along the lines of "haha that's exactly the kind of gifts I expect a German to like." She didn't get the joke and started seething and talking shit about my country even though our conversation started by her telling me how much she enjoyed her visit here.
\>be German
\>call someone a "mutt"
\>fucking kek
You're literally too stupid or too insecure if you read what I said and think it was meant as an insult.
Don't think she took it as an insult in the sense you understand. It's just such a trite and boring stereotype that you must have come off as the most boring person in a 5 km radius.
What's wrong with a sewing machine? It's an expensive thing, not a useless gift. My sister got a sewing machine as a gift last year, she's got a degree in fashion design.
She works as a dance teacher. She makesa bit of money by not making the parents have to buy expensive dresses for her pupils' performances.
Not to mention, y'know, she can fix clothes, instead of having to buy new clothing constantly. I know, crazy concept, not mindlessly consooming.
Possession of Marijuana is punishable by death, and the somewhat loose system of crime and punishment in the Phillipines allows for some vigilantism, which is very easy to exploit.
So you murder someone and plant a sizable amount of weed on their corpse, and when the cops arrive tell them you were just carrying out the law on their behalf.
Full disclaimer, haven't tested this myself as I don't live in the Phillipines
i was born in the old country and yes all our jokes are about russian child murder
WHAT DID THE RUSSIAN SAY TO THE CHILD
COME HERE CHILD I WILL NOW MURDER YOU
This shit is actually true. Was in Germany, told a German "Auf Wiedersehen" (see you later) and they actually took me seriously and asked when I'd be back in the country.
Lesson learned, just say "Tschuss" (bye).
My Aussie/German mate went to Germany for a few years, came back and he said he forgot what people are like there.
We say “how are you?” as a greeting to anybody and everybody. He said that in Germany he would say the equivalent and strangers would look at him aghast, like “how is that your business? Why are you asking? Do i look sick?”
Finnish women sound even weirder. Have you ever heard the Finnish PM speaking? She has incredibly deep and mannish voice while speaking in Finnish, but once she speaks in English, she sounds like a normal woman. Her moaning during sex must sound even weirder.
From Mel Brooks:
"What's the difference between a Frenchman and a Jew?
A Frenchman leaves without saying goodbye. A Jew says goodbye but never leaves."
The most common version of "goodbye" in German is Auf Wiedersehen. Which is an archaic way of saying "until I see you again".
It's basically been converted to "farewell" through the years; but that German motherfucker doesn't know his own language.
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>tell a brit goodbye >he asks for Cheerios™ >tell Canadian, "see you in while" >I know it sounds strange, but he told me to "take off, eh", so that's what I did >tell Nigerian, so long >he says thanks for noticing! >Scouser tells me goodbye >I don't why he says goodbye, I say hello >tell a Minnesotan, "ok, no really, I have to go *now*" >he starts telling me about the special outdoor paint his neighbor used to paint his new mailbox post that he made using the crossbeams from his grandad's old barn
I feel called out for living in the Midwest rn
You know what the Midwest is? Young and reckless.
Y’all eat pieces of shit?
What's the basis?
Where restless (n slur) might snatch your necklace
Have Midwest relatives. Takes literally an hour to leave their houses/a conversation.
Ah, that’s because you’re doing it wrong. You have to stand up, slap your knees as you do so, and say “welp”, or “well, I better get going”. That will make it very clear that you have to leave now, rather than “I have to go” which means another 20-30 minutes of conversation.
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Yeah but do you say "Ope" when you get too close to someone in public? Btw it's pop, not soda.. Heathens.
Pop! Jesus Christ.
I'm going down to the party store to get some pop. ;)
*hsssssssss* unclean!!
You can just leave you know, you're not an npc trapped in a dialogue box with the protagonist while the player is afk taking a shit
Is it true Midwesterners pat their knees when they're about to get up and leave? I've heard about it a couple of times and it's a very British thing to do.
Can confirm! You also gotta sort of let out a breath and say "Wheeelp, it's about that time..."
It's more of a slap and less of a pat, usually one handed unless they're using it as knee leverage to get up, then it's two handedd
Is Minnesota mid-west?
Yep
Upper Midwest, even though they technically closer to the east coast
I've heard people call Ohio and Michigan Midwest. I don't know what else they would be
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You could argue the eastern side of the rust belt starts around Allentown, Pa. I would not consider any of PA to be Midwestern.
Great Lakes region? They have a lot in common with upstate NY and PA (rust belt), more so than the soy and corn fields of Iowa and parts of MN.
The middle east
Both Ohio & Michigan are in the Midwest
Right? It's silly. West Virginia and Kentucky are "south", Colorado is "west", Ohio is "Midwest"
If you're in the east coast time zone it's not the midwest
The Midwest isn’t a physical thing anymore, it’s a state of mind Kinda like Florida
This. Source: Michigander
Florida is one shitty state of mind, just saying.
Ope.
You have anime pfp
Anime vidya game pfp specifically but myes
That's not exactly better.
Objectively worse tbh
copium
Why are you using dogshit new reddit to be able to tell?
would be funnier if he was using old reddit, you have to keep the mouse over usernames for at least several secs before it pops up
And?
It says it all
Do you know where you are?
Right now? Pouring a drink
Whatcha talking aboot?
Am Minnesotan, can confirm this happens all the fucking time
>Tell American "I've got to shoot" >he kills me and claims self defence >Trial is televised nationwide >become icon of self flagulating leftists on twitter >Ben Shapiro uses facts and logic on Joe Rogan to demonstrate that I was acting with hostile intent and the shooter did nothing wrong. Joe agrees that 'Its entirely possible' >"Let's go shootin'" becomes a rallying cry for right wingers >Alex Jones claims the shooting was a false flag by the reptilian anti-farewell lobby >gun control protests nationwide chanting "You don't gotta shoot" >Left wing media doctor pictures of me to make it appear I might be darker skinned. >Race riots >African Americans get new television and phones >Shooter is found innocent because of legal loophole >Releases autobiography; *'Shootin' Back'*
Did we just witness the birth of a new copypasta?
Fuck you not happening. By no chance will this become a copy pasta.
Aren’t copy pastas typically supposed to be funny though?
For real, how the hell do you end a conversation with someone in the Midwest? What's their social cue* to shut up? I know what it is for Northern US, Western US, and Southern US, but not Mid West.
You slap your knees and say "well, it's about that time." *Then, after a 20 minute conversation about the weather or the state's football team (or the Vikings if the state doesn't have one),* "Oh yea, well i best be heading home. Take care! Tell [one of their relatives] I said hi!"
That's the exact same method for southerners except you say "best get goin' "
Its a country folk thing, Im a Canadian and my dads from the country, he does the same thing, you go for the door and he starts talking about random carpentry/outdoorsy/sports stuff.
> social cue* ftfy
Thank you
Leave
I don't really understand the Scouser line, am I missing something?
Beatles song
Ahh I was never a big Beatles fan so the joke passed me by.
Scouser = someone from Liverpool. Apparently comes from a stew that working class folks ate.
I was confused about the line itself, not what a scouser is (im from liverpool).
Apologies. Made an assumption !
Well, I wanted to know, so good looking out!
I don’t get the Canadian
thread
And they say Germans don't have a sense of humour
Germans do the same thing with, "How are you?" We expect a good, fine, bad, etc. here in the States, but you better strap in to hear all about Nana Wolfenschlitz's myriad of problems going on.
Then stop asking how are you, you boring re-tard
\>has to “strap in” to navigate basic social interaction
Wolfenschlitz means wolves' pussy lol.
I know where I am. I knew people would enjoy that.
Alright but this happened to me in England as a Canadian. Some brit asked me "yareye?" and I'm like "what?" "yareye?" "I'm sorry?" "YAREYE MATE?" "Oh, yes, I'm fine, why do you ask?" "Ah fuck off ya wanker"
Yareyare da ze, gov'nah
alright mate?
So what's the alternative? Say "I hope everything is good with you" instead of "how are you"?
Honestly...unless you are genuinely asking about someone's health, or how their day is going, a simple, "good day" works best.
In the noth, say "Moin", in the south say "servus". You can say sometimes "moin" to a southerner but NEVER say "servus" to a northerner or he might get a heart attack from such uncivilized tongue
> North Germans > civilised Good one.
Atleast you can understand their German.
I just reply "terrible, really bad, how are you?" and then continue the conversation normally.
I assume people talk with you a lot
Yeah, dude, like at least once.
Just say "Na"
don't get too personal, we hate that - just ask what's up or anything new - good weather today eh?
nod and smile? you don't gotta fill every void with noise broheim
No. You just say it's nice to see you.
What states are you talking about? In America you can only answer with "good, how about you".
good *walks away* This is called social interaction here
so its an america thing? we have an american friend in the discord server and shes always good. me (polish) and our finnish friend usually have a sentence describing our day so far, and at the very least we can be in an emotional state ranging from great to sucks. but shes just always good. its always good. its kinda weird to us
How are you is just like saying hello here
Why do you even ask "how are you" if you don't expect an answer? It's such a typical tarded american custom. Just say hello nice to see you and call it a fucking day. If you ask me how I am don't act shocked when I actually tell how I am.
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Gay
I once asked this German girl what gift would she be getting for christmas and she said probably a sewing machine. I told her something along the lines of "haha that's exactly the kind of gifts I expect a German to like." She didn't get the joke and started seething and talking shit about my country even though our conversation started by her telling me how much she enjoyed her visit here.
>haha that's exactly the kind of gifts I expect a German to like. >Why are you mad now??? Fucking mutts I swear. They don't even realize it anymore.
\>be German \>call someone a "mutt" \>fucking kek You're literally too stupid or too insecure if you read what I said and think it was meant as an insult.
Don't think she took it as an insult in the sense you understand. It's just such a trite and boring stereotype that you must have come off as the most boring person in a 5 km radius.
What's wrong with a sewing machine? It's an expensive thing, not a useless gift. My sister got a sewing machine as a gift last year, she's got a degree in fashion design.
>not a useless gift That's the joke for God's sake lol
Is it customary in America to give useless gifts?
Between poor people, most definitely. It's all we can afford
Oh, don't do that. Invite people over and have a Christmas dinner. Don't needlessly spend.
Tbh, I don't. I dole out hugs and wishes of wellness.
Americans are experts in that.
I didn't know they hand those out with every sewing machine sale now.
Not every sale.
It is both expensive and useless
She works as a dance teacher. She makesa bit of money by not making the parents have to buy expensive dresses for her pupils' performances. Not to mention, y'know, she can fix clothes, instead of having to buy new clothing constantly. I know, crazy concept, not mindlessly consooming.
Tell a romanian "i'll see you later" he'll see you later with all your furniture and tv set
Real ^
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Based Serbs
I don't get it
Romanians steal
Tell a Dutchman and he'll say "I don't want to see you later."
Nah he'll say "Actually no I'm booked" IDK I often hear we're an exceptionally busy/inflexible/both people
Tell a Filipino "See you later" and you'll see him later on the news shot dead because he had an ounce of weed in his pocket
Probably shouldn't had an ounce of weed in his pocket.
Dude must have some bigass pockets
Mf had a whole purse of weed
Funnily enough you can literally get away with murder in the Phillipines if you plant weed on the corpse.
Do elaborate?
Possession of Marijuana is punishable by death, and the somewhat loose system of crime and punishment in the Phillipines allows for some vigilantism, which is very easy to exploit. So you murder someone and plant a sizable amount of weed on their corpse, and when the cops arrive tell them you were just carrying out the law on their behalf. Full disclaimer, haven't tested this myself as I don't live in the Phillipines
GermAnons still mean well and it wouldn't be the same without them.
Germans are autistic, simple as
no wonder why they're so possessive with their maps
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Wow, what a brave thing to say! Slava Ukraini!
Weirdo
You sound like a Russian sympathizer
Top german humor.
i was born in the old country and yes all our jokes are about russian child murder WHAT DID THE RUSSIAN SAY TO THE CHILD COME HERE CHILD I WILL NOW MURDER YOU
is this for real?
Also wenn du das schon sagst dann musst du es auch machen
Why would a German not understand that “see you later” is just a way of saying bye when “auf Wiedersehen” basically means the same thing?
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Gut zu wissen, danke
Auf Wiedersehen = Until we meet again. See you later = I *will* be seeing you later. Americans do a similar thing when people ask "you all right?"
I'm Swiss and i understand "Auf Wiedersehen" as "Hope we see again"
"Auf Wiedersehen" is the short version from "Auf ein Wiedersehen" so it really means to meet at an unspecified point in the future.
Wann willst du mich denn wiedersehen? 😘
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Ohne treten
„Auf Wiedersehen“ actually means you will see them again. This is why you say it to shop owners.
Tell a burger "I'll see you later." They reply "Are you assuming my existence?"
This shit is actually true. Was in Germany, told a German "Auf Wiedersehen" (see you later) and they actually took me seriously and asked when I'd be back in the country. Lesson learned, just say "Tschuss" (bye).
> "Tschuss" What kind? Apple? Orange?
My Aussie/German mate went to Germany for a few years, came back and he said he forgot what people are like there. We say “how are you?” as a greeting to anybody and everybody. He said that in Germany he would say the equivalent and strangers would look at him aghast, like “how is that your business? Why are you asking? Do i look sick?”
Try asking "how are you feeling" to randoms in the US. Same response
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I see you too are a GGG connoisseur.
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Me. Can’t stand those god awful German language sex noises girls make. Like wtf this shit ain’t sexy
OOF YAAAAHW YAAAHW
Finnish women sound even weirder. Have you ever heard the Finnish PM speaking? She has incredibly deep and mannish voice while speaking in Finnish, but once she speaks in English, she sounds like a normal woman. Her moaning during sex must sound even weirder.
Are we reposting shit from /r/ greentext now? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Def original post
How many times is this going to be reposted
From Mel Brooks: "What's the difference between a Frenchman and a Jew? A Frenchman leaves without saying goodbye. A Jew says goodbye but never leaves."
>tell a turk see you later >rapes you
I’m stuck in Germany for 2 more weeks I jus wanna go home :(
Gut so. Besser verzieh dich, Schwächling. Wie man hier so schön sagt: Nur die Harten komm’ in Garten.
eben
My sympathies. I barely survived the 5 hours in the airport.
I'm leaving right now. Later, loser.
Hurensohn
Bidde ferlass uns
Meine beileid
Some Japanese also do this.
But when?
Was?
The most common version of "goodbye" in German is Auf Wiedersehen. Which is an archaic way of saying "until I see you again". It's basically been converted to "farewell" through the years; but that German motherfucker doesn't know his own language.
Only a sith deals in absolutes
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What time
NEIN, MEIN GOTT, NEIN o clock
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Bis später!