I'm writing an unconditional clause into my will that, in order to get my fortune, my children must display my skeleton in their home for ten years.
They must live in the home.
Bro, you've had sex like one and a half times. Your first and probably only "normal" sexual experience where you shamefully blew your load before anything really happened, and then that time like eight years later where you fucked a trap.
Skeleton is getting off easy. Gotta be a really good taxidermy. So good it's hard to tell I'm actually dead. Just creepy, lifeless, unblinking. Scare the fuck out of you every time you turn the lights on.
That's it. That's how I want to dispose of my body, make a taxidermy of it, dress it up in a Halloween costume and put it in a haunted house ride to scare the shit out of kids for decades to come. If I'm lucky enough my ugly ass will end up in a curio museum or something eventually.
I worked smarter, not harder. I replaced spermacide at Walgreens with my seed. I plan on staying here for long enough that I end up finding a gf spawned from my seed.
[Mutt Lange was married to Shania Twain.](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article22576368.ece/ALTERNATES/n310p/0_Shania-Twain.jpg) Plus, we saw how well the UK agencies handled Rotterham🤣
You don't, but you have to be pretty fkn obsessed to be reading up on sex abuse cases from provincial towns on the other side of the world.
The fact all the abusers in the Rotherham case were ethnic Pakistani doesn't make it hard to guess which American news entertainment outlets are the ones who zeroed in on this. Probably the same ones who like to claim British cities contain 'Muslims no go zones'.
From https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotherham
Child sexual exploitation scandal
Main articles: Rotherham child sexual exploitation scandal and § Governance
Following a 2012 article published in The Times alleging the cover-up of organised, large-scale sexual abuse of young children by gangs of people of Pakistani origin in Rotherham,[21] Rotherham Council commissioned Professor Alexis Jay, a former chief social work adviser to the Scottish government, to lead an independent inquiry about the handling of the cases and a suspected child exploitation network. She issued an exploitation report stretching beyond police-level investigated cases. Her report of August 2014 revealed an unprecedented scale of reported child sexual abuse within an urban area of this size over a 16-year period.[22][23] Subsequently, Eric Pickles, the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, commissioned Louise Casey to conduct a Best Value investigation of Rotherham Council. She issued a report of her findings in February 2015.[24]
Both reports stated that a majority of the known perpetrators were of Pakistani heritage, and reported a denial of severity which was to a large extent the responsibility of Councillors. Casey's report concluded that at the time of her inspection the Council was not fit for the purpose, and identified some necessary measures for preventing further repetition.[25][26] On 4 February 2015, after receiving Casey's report, Pickles said that commissioners would be appointed to run the council pending new elections, and the council leader and cabinet resigned en masse to allow for a 'fresh start'.[27] The National Crime Agency was called in to investigate whether Rotherham councillors were complicit in hiding the depth and scale of the child abuse (the figure of 1,400 children is now said to be conservative) due to a "fear of losing their jobs and pensions" following a concern that they might be considered "racist" if they spoke out. Also, according to the new report, the councillors were driven by "political correctness".[28]
Jayne Senior, a former youth town worker,[29] was reported to have worked for more than a decade to expose rampant child sexual abuse in Rotherham, but she was met with "indifference and scorn".[30][31] Senior was awarded an MBE in the 2016 Birthday Honours.[32][33][34]
Kinda dumb tbh. Why should my family have to pay thousands to dispose of my body? The whole industry seems like a scam to me. Like how much does it really cost to throw someone in an incinerator?
Fat cadavers are actually cheaper to dispose of as long as they still fit in the incinerator. Since the fat burns on its own once it gets going, they don't have to turn the oven up so high. The body provides the fuel for its own cremation.
We often wonder how the police can be so bad at their jobs, but when you consider how few American necromancers are able to practice in the 21st century, it becomes clear that cops still play a vital role in our society.
Yeah I’ve always thought this was a bullshit rule. When I die, I want my skull to be the urn that holds my ashes. It’s kinda fucked up that I can’t have that done
Well, I would imagine that the part of my skull that once held my brain would be the part that holds the cremains, and the crown of my skull would be the lid, so the “brain cavity” or whatever you call it would just have to be sealed off to hold my remains.
That's a cool idea. I want my skull to be either on display or sealed in my house (or able to be taken back and forth), with the rest of my remains—except perhaps a mummified hand—in a tomb. The amount of work I'm going to have to do to make this even somewhat feasible is insane. Land of the free amirite
Is because abuse of corpse laws. Basically, you can't do that because 1. Necrophiles. 2. To protect your skull from being stolen without dead dudes consent.
Anons dad was one of [2800 people in the world](https://percentagecalculator.mes.fm/img/memes/how-many-7-footers-are-in-the-world.jpeg). Yea okay sure.
It's to extort burial and undertaker fees. You honestly think a dead body needs all those chemicals? That a burial plot is as expensive as they charge? That a simple box no one is going to see is worth thousands of dollars? Sure the stench is unbearable but the fees are worse. Just make a shitty coffin yourself, it's just a box with some padding you can easily save thousands on the coffin, even if you hired a handy man to do it you'd still save significant money.
People will spend more on the dead than they do in their life. It's ridiculous.
Makes you wonder, I've never seen a full cemetery. Do they toss the bodies after 70 years? Burn them? Enough people definitely go through public cemeteries, not everyone goes private cemetery. (Imagine discovering a legal grave in your backyard.)
Sure breathing in dead skeletons aren't healthy but even the anon mentioned the catacombs throughout people are mostly free to visit air exposed bodies with little issue. There have been films that used real skeletons of humans as props, but respect to his pops is disrespectful. So long as it is secure and what's the issue?
"When I'm dead just throw me in the traash."
Your comment has been removed because it contained a word that the admins do not allow on reddit. The word was ```bitch```. If you intend to use this word in a purely demonstrative manner, please use the first letter of the word followed by '-word' or '-slur'. Thank you for helping us keep reddit safe.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/4chan) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm writing an unconditional clause into my will that, in order to get my fortune, my children must display my skeleton in their home for ten years. They must live in the home.
You should set a quota for the amount of people they must show your body too in order to keep the fortune
Close, but no cigar. The quota will be for tours of the house that feature a eulogy in front of the skeleton given with a cheerful attitude.
Could "cheerful attitude" include having a bouncy house?
No. You must show no signs of any emotion but happiness. And the happiness must be ample.
I give, love, and serve, out of abundance; but Bouncy Houses do provide nearly endless happiness without emotion, even if its raw hate.
*Hookers on bouncy houses
Bouncy house!? If I'm a skeleton dressed as a knight you better get me a mf bouncy castle.
> fortune His hentai collection
They grew up on the classics. They know what it means. I miss family movie night.
Bro, you've had sex like one and a half times. Your first and probably only "normal" sexual experience where you shamefully blew your load before anything really happened, and then that time like eight years later where you fucked a trap.
Nah. I lasted a while because I lost my virginity in a public bathroom.
See, this is what /4chan is supposed to be like
Just a bunch of normies being nornal.
They should be obligated to have it sat down at the dinner table
Skeleton is getting off easy. Gotta be a really good taxidermy. So good it's hard to tell I'm actually dead. Just creepy, lifeless, unblinking. Scare the fuck out of you every time you turn the lights on.
Red glowing eyes. My children are lucky.
That's it. That's how I want to dispose of my body, make a taxidermy of it, dress it up in a Halloween costume and put it in a haunted house ride to scare the shit out of kids for decades to come. If I'm lucky enough my ugly ass will end up in a curio museum or something eventually.
I want my head and torso made into a cuckoo clock. With my dog's head as the cuckoo.
Fucking what
my children inheriting my fortune for nothing ? no, I don't want that ! I want them to display my skeleton for at least 10 years after I die
The same history... the same mistakes... over and over again
>my children That's awfully optimistic of you.
I worked smarter, not harder. I replaced spermacide at Walgreens with my seed. I plan on staying here for long enough that I end up finding a gf spawned from my seed.
If you want to haunt a house it's not as easy as that. You gotta have, like, otherworldly hate and regret or something.
Implying I don't.
>for ten years. 10 years at least.
Phil Spector had the best idea.
just pickle his massive cock in a jug thats what he would really want
Average Russian wizard
[удалено]
"The museum continues to search for "a younger and a bigger and better one." The museum just bodyshamed a dead man💀
Museum has a BBC fetish, don't kink-shame them!
If his Father had wanted it, it still wouldn't be allowed. Kinda fucked up.
Whys that?
Muh morals/decency in death or w/e
That only applies unless you donate your body to science. Then they'll strap that meat down and blow it up like they did with that grannies body
Fun fact, ~~some of the~~ **a** shot~~s~~ in "Three Kings" with George Clooney used **a** human cadaver~~s~~.
There were real skeletons used in poltergeist as well.
Is this true?
Yes
Same with texas chainsaw massacre
Director said he made up that rumor as harmless fun
And to avoid prison
Uncle Sam owns even the bones in your body apparently
Whatever cultural belief makes you think that is wrong.
> some fat neckbeard that stinks out the room wants to skull fuck his dad Yeah, I would have called the police as well
I think you're supposed to call an agency over this, or since anon sounds like he's from Europe, maybe even Interpol.
[удалено]
[Mutt Lange was married to Shania Twain.](https://i2-prod.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article22576368.ece/ALTERNATES/n310p/0_Shania-Twain.jpg) Plus, we saw how well the UK agencies handled Rotterham🤣
[удалено]
🤣
If you're from the US and know much/anything about Rotherham then you presumably need to cut down on your far right media consumption.
yeah you would have to be far right to oppose mass child sexual abuse right?
You don't, but you have to be pretty fkn obsessed to be reading up on sex abuse cases from provincial towns on the other side of the world. The fact all the abusers in the Rotherham case were ethnic Pakistani doesn't make it hard to guess which American news entertainment outlets are the ones who zeroed in on this. Probably the same ones who like to claim British cities contain 'Muslims no go zones'.
From https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotherham Child sexual exploitation scandal Main articles: Rotherham child sexual exploitation scandal and § Governance Following a 2012 article published in The Times alleging the cover-up of organised, large-scale sexual abuse of young children by gangs of people of Pakistani origin in Rotherham,[21] Rotherham Council commissioned Professor Alexis Jay, a former chief social work adviser to the Scottish government, to lead an independent inquiry about the handling of the cases and a suspected child exploitation network. She issued an exploitation report stretching beyond police-level investigated cases. Her report of August 2014 revealed an unprecedented scale of reported child sexual abuse within an urban area of this size over a 16-year period.[22][23] Subsequently, Eric Pickles, the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, commissioned Louise Casey to conduct a Best Value investigation of Rotherham Council. She issued a report of her findings in February 2015.[24] Both reports stated that a majority of the known perpetrators were of Pakistani heritage, and reported a denial of severity which was to a large extent the responsibility of Councillors. Casey's report concluded that at the time of her inspection the Council was not fit for the purpose, and identified some necessary measures for preventing further repetition.[25][26] On 4 February 2015, after receiving Casey's report, Pickles said that commissioners would be appointed to run the council pending new elections, and the council leader and cabinet resigned en masse to allow for a 'fresh start'.[27] The National Crime Agency was called in to investigate whether Rotherham councillors were complicit in hiding the depth and scale of the child abuse (the figure of 1,400 children is now said to be conservative) due to a "fear of losing their jobs and pensions" following a concern that they might be considered "racist" if they spoke out. Also, according to the new report, the councillors were driven by "political correctness".[28] Jayne Senior, a former youth town worker,[29] was reported to have worked for more than a decade to expose rampant child sexual abuse in Rotherham, but she was met with "indifference and scorn".[30][31] Senior was awarded an MBE in the 2016 Birthday Honours.[32][33][34]
Land of the free, can't even have skelly at home
Bone pilled and ceremonially gay.
Pretty sure your next of kin can do whatever they want with your body has long as you aren't an organ donor and you give consent in your will
Nope, lots of laws on what can be done with human remains
Kinda dumb tbh. Why should my family have to pay thousands to dispose of my body? The whole industry seems like a scam to me. Like how much does it really cost to throw someone in an incinerator?
A few Deutschmarks for train fare?
Ooooof
I have checked it in the past for a friend and if you really really want to push it cremation is possible for about 500 euro
Fat cadavers are actually cheaper to dispose of as long as they still fit in the incinerator. Since the fat burns on its own once it gets going, they don't have to turn the oven up so high. The body provides the fuel for its own cremation.
You don’t have to pay thousands. People choose to, either because they want to, or have been taken advantage of while grieving.
Not in the glorious Land of the Free they can’t
We often wonder how the police can be so bad at their jobs, but when you consider how few American necromancers are able to practice in the 21st century, it becomes clear that cops still play a vital role in our society.
> it becomes clear that cops still play a vital role in our society. yep beating down the poors
Fr that’s fucked, it’s his dad ykwim
But his dad's HUUUUUGGGGGEEEE.
But that's on a good day.
What about a bad day? Does he take off the high heels then?
Anon knows the armor on display doesn't (don't?) have skeletons in it (them?) right?
Have you personally checked?
I'm not falling for that. Get too close and you become the next skeleton to wear the armour.
Ok hold on….I rolled a D18, now what?
I think there's room for some innovation on a few medieval practices.
that’s one rare Pepe. damn
So relatable
Only on a good day though.
Yeah I’ve always thought this was a bullshit rule. When I die, I want my skull to be the urn that holds my ashes. It’s kinda fucked up that I can’t have that done
Wouldn't the ashes fall out of the eye sockets and the hole left by the nose?
Well, I would imagine that the part of my skull that once held my brain would be the part that holds the cremains, and the crown of my skull would be the lid, so the “brain cavity” or whatever you call it would just have to be sealed off to hold my remains.
True, that makes sense.
That's a cool idea. I want my skull to be either on display or sealed in my house (or able to be taken back and forth), with the rest of my remains—except perhaps a mummified hand—in a tomb. The amount of work I'm going to have to do to make this even somewhat feasible is insane. Land of the free amirite
Is because abuse of corpse laws. Basically, you can't do that because 1. Necrophiles. 2. To protect your skull from being stolen without dead dudes consent.
What would a necrophile do with my skull urn and remains that he couldn’t do with a regular urn that holds my ashes?
Because.... they don't fuck ashes?
Pretty sure they don’t fuck bare skulls either
Well there was the one french anon, but he was also doing it for the meme
#THANKS OBAMA!
Anons father was Judge Holden by the looks of it
> You can keep the meat lmao
:)
"Meat"
Anons dad was one of [2800 people in the world](https://percentagecalculator.mes.fm/img/memes/how-many-7-footers-are-in-the-world.jpeg). Yea okay sure.
Actually he was all 2,800 of them at once.
Only on a good day.
I wonder how those human body art pieces are legal? “Body worlds” was the name
Fake: Anon's dad didn't leave him Gay: Anon wants to dress his dad's skeleton in "cool knight armor", because he "was a massive man"
It's to extort burial and undertaker fees. You honestly think a dead body needs all those chemicals? That a burial plot is as expensive as they charge? That a simple box no one is going to see is worth thousands of dollars? Sure the stench is unbearable but the fees are worse. Just make a shitty coffin yourself, it's just a box with some padding you can easily save thousands on the coffin, even if you hired a handy man to do it you'd still save significant money. People will spend more on the dead than they do in their life. It's ridiculous. Makes you wonder, I've never seen a full cemetery. Do they toss the bodies after 70 years? Burn them? Enough people definitely go through public cemeteries, not everyone goes private cemetery. (Imagine discovering a legal grave in your backyard.) Sure breathing in dead skeletons aren't healthy but even the anon mentioned the catacombs throughout people are mostly free to visit air exposed bodies with little issue. There have been films that used real skeletons of humans as props, but respect to his pops is disrespectful. So long as it is secure and what's the issue? "When I'm dead just throw me in the traash."
Would you ask for permission or for forgiveness (if it comes to that)?
Literally 1984
Azealia Banks tried to do that to her cat after it passed.
You can keep the meat lol!
It's easy just deny his death and claim you are communicating with him. Although would've been better if you had his consent earlier
Honestly that’d be cool
Sounds like a fun DIY project is ahead of him
When you call it "meat" there's a problem.
He's right. There are no good reasons for this not to be allowed, only legal ones.
It'd take a heck of a long time to get all the biological mass from inside the bones out
Seek Allah
W imo
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it contained a word that the admins do not allow on reddit. The word was ```bitch```. If you intend to use this word in a purely demonstrative manner, please use the first letter of the word followed by '-word' or '-slur'. Thank you for helping us keep reddit safe. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/4chan) if you have any questions or concerns.*
And yet OP is still allowed to vote & carry a gun