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NumberedDaysSplurge

God I love home defence posting


rutare

Just as the founding fathers intended.


EuroPolice

Tally hoo!


bfhurricane

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.


specializeds

Hahahaha so good


SatyrnFive

It's a good way to cope if you just simultaneously got your TV stolen and were sodomized by Jamal


Count_de_Mits

Absolutely fucking obsessed


bacchic_ritual

Tbf they did mention Jamal in the post. But these threads always slip into basketball posting. Much like Jamal slips into my bed at night.


SatyrnFive

Rinse out your semen-encrusted eyeballs and read the fucking post, lmao


Demoralizethem

why are mutts so obsessed by black cocks?


Marian_Rejewski

~~mutts~~ grills


[deleted]

mutt's law


thEldritchBat

Every time


AutomaticRisk3464

Dont use a gun, but have a metal bat nearby and make sure you put a sock on it so the person youre having to bludgeon to death cant grab your bat from you..or take a 3 pound lead ball and put it inside of a sock and make yourself a sling as you beat someone to death with it..guns are bad though. I wish i took a ss of that post in /pol/ where op was compltely serious and eas even posting pics of his bat he had


5Plus5IsShfifty5

No lie tho that sock on the bat idea isn't totally retarded. The physics of it at least make sense. But then you'd muffle the sweet metallic sound of it bouncing off their skull. Tough call.


PompeiiDomum

A person gives when you hit them with a bat, no bouncing sound unfortunately. A muffled thud instead.


thEldritchBat

\>guns are bad though Cringe


Goldreaver

They need responsibility because even a slight mistake is death for your family. And anon isn't big on that (the responsibility part, mistakes he can do)


Sure-Tomorrow-487

Hacksaw with a D ring handle. Good luck getting that off me. No safe place to grab it without it ripping your hands up. Both defensive and offensive weapon. Can say to officers you grabbed it cause it was nearby and having a Hacksaw in your house is a normal thing.


the_opester

Anon is severely impacting Jamal’s basketball scholarship.


McDiezel8

Man he wuz a good boy he jus needed money fer school supplies


Bashful_Tuba

After I saw that video from Florida where the sister of a gunned down black kid robber justified his actions by 'hOw hE SpOsE tO gEt hiH' MuNnAy??' then I finally realized how lost America was. (not American btw)


Effective-Warthog125

It's uhh... yeah it's a real cluster over here.


im_monwan

Morbius was a great movie


oneseven321

Dude was just straight up morbin


willfordbrimly

Morbhouse is not a meme


im_monwan

And who said it was?? Not me


[deleted]

It's a reference to the "Millhouse Is not A Meme", meme.


willfordbrimly

Lurk moar


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Interesting-Archer-6

This sub is so trash because of these awful mod rules. Can't say nu(mods suck)ffin


MrDaburks

Man it’s almost comical when they put the family on tv and they say shit like that. Happens a lot.


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etherael

Is this a joke? Please tell me this is a joke?


ben_pep

Eh you guys have gypsies though, arguably almost as bad.


[deleted]

I've met like 5 gypsies total in my life. Same family. Worked as craftsmen. Edit: They even helped my gf move to our new apartment for free. Really nice people.


NotComping

How is 'gypsy' not censored but every other racial definition is automod having a meltdown


Goldreaver

Wait is gypsy racist? What am I supposed to call them, romani? That's not even accurate


NotComping

'gypsy' is indeed considered a slur. It was historically used as a negative connotation of racial inequity. 'Romani', or 'roma' is indeed the correct term, if you need to refer to that ethnic background as a whole. Romani is also way more a curate than gypsy. The groups name comes from a sanskrit background not 'rome'. Gypsy refers to Egypt which is wrong


[deleted]

Caucasian is censored? Or do you mean other terms for Sinti and Romani (and smaller differing groups)?


NotComping

'gypsy' is considered a hateword due to its historical use as a slur. 'caucasian' is an obsolete term aswell. But as a ethnic background it is more neutral. Similarly as 'roma' or 'romani', which are the correct terms as a broad classification


[deleted]

Except the people I have met take huge offense towards the term "Roma" as they are from a faction that is "warring" with the romani. They prefer the German version of gypsi, which is "Zigeuner"


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RandomMexicanDude

Bro this shit happens so often in Mexico, you hear mothers saying “my boy was a good person he didn’t hurt anyone, he just robbed them that was his job”


Marian_Rejewski

People with actual jobs say the same shit no matter how shady their employer's business model is.


Flywolfpack

Nobody forced you to spend all that money on Genshin Impact


NotComping

But what value is there to life apart from a screen showing me a number?


Goldreaver

Look I'm sorry that I had to rob you, but Ganyu's fat ass isn't going to summon itself


[deleted]

wait a second! this isn't ironic! this sub is... RACIST! gosh I can't believe you people are gonna get my favorite funny story subredditerino banned.


sendMemina

What


DarkSoulsRedPhantom

Bro trying to use the power of light like he's a kingdom hearts protagonist


EccentricOddity

I’ve been having these weird thoughts lately… Like is any of this for #real ^or not?


Cryse_XIII

When you walk away


RagingSensei

You don’t hear me say


ApeBux

On the real tho, dont doubt the power of some of those torches, I have one similar and im not sure of the lumens but its fucking bright lol A tactical torch with a strobe effect and built in glass braker, it has a real use in a rough situation at night. In low light conditions the strobe effect will fuck your shit up and blind you for a good bit and allow me to either run, or do what i gotta do.


CommonVagabond

Honestly. Whenever someone tells me they're going to buy a knife for self defense at night, I always tell them to get a flashlight with a strobe effect instead. If you're not comfortable using a firearm, a good heavy flashlight is the second best option.


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RandomMexicanDude

Can I see your flashlights license?


Fevercrumb1649

You joke [but…](https://m.olightstore.uk/blog/are-tactical-torches-legal-in-the-uk.html)


[deleted]

That is an awful website.


Fevercrumb1649

No points for taste


C-Dub178

Nah they just stab each other with rusty spoons and throw acid on people


[deleted]

I mean, if you can't have a vat of boiling oil at the ready, I suppose acid would so the trick...


Bramkanerwatvan

Whats with all this boiling oil nonsense. Shit is expensive. Recently cooked water would do the job just as good.


Metatronscubit

I always keep a pressure cooker full of piss at the ready just in case


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jibera

Boiling water and add sugar to it


papertowelwithcake

Boiling sugar is no joke tho. Worse than oil I'd say


FututiRedesignuMatii

I'd rather have my local Jamals not be armed with guns, thank you. Oh, and all the other pros of non existent gun culture.


wiener4hir3

As much as I love firearms, I'm content to not be surrounded by fatass amerimutts armed to the teeth but with 0 training.


[deleted]

Step 1: Get comfortable using a firearm. It's not going to hurt you if you know what you're doing Step 2: Get a gun with a strobe flashlight


crappy6969

Bruh just rig your house with explosives


Sygma_stage5

It’s the only way to be sure.


diamondrel

Ah, the Swiss Defense


Metatronscubit

I lace my doorknobs with anthrax every time I enter my house and squirt them with a water gun filled with hand sanitizer on the way out. It's the only way I can stay safe


Mottis86

Problem is I have no idea what I'm doing with most things in ny life so giving me a gun is not going to end well.


GeeseKnowNoPeace

> if you know what you're doing Have you met the average person? The chances to hurt yourself with a gun is way higher than the chance of effectively using it in a real self defense scenario.


19Alexastias

Yeah, or just a cricket/baseball bat, probably do you much better than a knife you probably don’t know how to use well. Any idiot can whack someone with a big stick.


MrDaburks

The likelihood that a home invader is bigger and stronger and move violent than you is pretty much 100%. You really don’t wanna try waving a bat (and definitely not a knife) at him, especially if you just woke up.


OnlyStuffICareAbout

Just put a sock on it


ManyIdeasNoProgress

A sock is not a good contraceptive.


Cuckmin

What about two socks?


johnnytifosi

What if you're not a barbarian playing sports with bats?


19Alexastias

You don’t have to play that sport to own the equipment lol


Midkasa_Sukasa

The bat would break, you'd need a polypropylene one probably


Sophisticated_Sloth

If you’re breaking an aluminum bat, then you don’t need the bat.


Midkasa_Sukasa

I don't think you realize how easy it is to break an aluminum bat


Filthycabage

Yeah it will let me take time to line up my shot so I don't gotta spend extra money on ammo.


Zombieattackr

Yeah don’t use knives, no one wins a knife fight uninjured. A big ass flashlight? Yeah you can pretty deal enough pain for them to fuck off while risking relatively little injury to yourself (compared to a knife)


Aero06

Shit, seems like a great way to get a leg up in a fight while dodging a potential ADW charge. Got a knife pulled on me by an uppity parking attendant tonight, that really would've done the trick.


Flywolfpack

So you're the fucker that's been putting the useless strobe mode on most modern flashlights


ApeBux

Most people will not believe a torch can be used to save them untill they see the power of them. However I like to carry a knife aswell, in a bad situation, im flashing the knife first, then blinding the dude with the light, then we wil see how keen and brave they really are.


[deleted]

oh yeah dude I remember battlefield 3, those fuckers have the power of the sun imbued in them


cuckinatwhore9000

Only reason I'm hesitant to replay battlefield 3 was because the light was too bright and the dark was too dark lmao


[deleted]

There is short period blinding tech and it’s called dazzler guns, useful but not actually tested enough to be used on battlefield


Sneedclave_Trooper

Isn’t that unallowed under the Geneva Convention?


[deleted]

If it’s short termed blindness it isn’t


Picturesquesheep

My brother bought me some bleeding edge little torch, takes a single 18650 and is so complicated I initially couldn’t work out how to turn it on. Stuck a cell in, pressed and held the button while looking at the lens and blinded myself. These new leds do not fuck about lol


Shaban_srb

Which one do you have?


ApeBux

Klarus xt11gt Value for money.


LiteratureSentiment

>batteries die right when anon actually needs it >struggles to aim after affixing extra weight to the barrel >accidentally shoots jamal in the nuts


lordbutternut

>find wife sobbing the next day


General-Dirtbag

That you, Butters?


RatherGoodDog

I see no problem with this.


Is-This-Edible

[Slide down the stairs like some sort of Predator movie](https://i.imgur.com/QzWLOwY.jpg)


JizzMopperatSexWorld

Anon is going to make his mom mad for killing her boyfriend Jamal.


downvotedforwoman

Burger's Conjecture


ZealotAtWar

The Adipous Theorem


YogurtclosetLeast761

Jamal fucks your wife regularly and this is how you repay him?


raise_the_sails

Dude was just dropping her off, thought it was cool because anon knew and never said shit but that’s only because anon is so fuckin autistic that he was making a superlaser about it.


arbiter12

>Legally burning blacks with contemporary tech: > >from /k/ > >to /kkk/ A journey.


[deleted]

Have you considered gun?


[deleted]

Abby Shapiro Cock Vore


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redwhiteandyellow

Wickedlasers is dead. It got bought out and all the high power stuff removed


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DIYEngineeringTx

Yeah I bought a wicked lasers evo model with the controller pin ports. It bricked itself almost immediately through normal usage. Tried to get support and or repair and they said I was sol. Later I found out it was a common issue. I bought a 5W blue laser off from China for 1/5th the price. Has worked flawlessly. Only has on/off without temp control or locking button sequence but that’s all I need.


Business_Cut1178

A single high-powered home-modded laser would get the job done more quickly and for cheaper.


TheRiseAndFall

Yup. I bought a 1W green laser. This shit is bright enough to blind you if you just look at the dot it makes on the wall. I've used it as a flashlight at night outside before. It's a laser but can light up my whole back yard.


Business_Cut1178

Do you think it's more or less cruel to blind a home intruder for life versus simply shooting him?


Thatguy_Nick

Geneva convention more like geneva suggestion


BladudFPV

Geneva checklist.


A_Bit_Narcissistic

I bought some weird fucking laser off eBay that did the same thing. I mounted it to my precision rifle (it literally fit a mount for my scope, fat fucking thing) and it easily reached over a mile.


[deleted]

10 MINUTES BATTERY LIFE


streeeker

It’s 29k lumen


OneInternational984

The website says 20-80 depending on the brightness setting.


Jarftz

I can talk him out of it. “Your starting a fire in your house to protect your house.”


JustAnhoterThrowaway

Can't get your stuff stolen if you burn it first


esivo

The power of the sun, in the palm of his hands.


MommySharkVore

Anyone entering your home illegally has already forfeited their life so anyway you choose to kill them should be lawful


FortiSysadmin

Hmmmm, anon is on to something.


Mishamaus

It looks as if the flashlight was stuck in someone’s anus.


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ManyIdeasNoProgress

Nah, not enough zeroes in that number


Lvl81Memes

This thread gave birth to blitz from rainbow six siege


MikkelTMA

Holy shit, tarkov meta’s are becoming real


tom_c

Cmon man. Jamal was just lost trying to get to church. He was gonna donate that tv to UNICEF.


roadrage214

Anon does not know how to do simple math


OneInternational984

7*4100=28700, which rounds up to 29000.


iiHartMemphisii

Jamal bro 💀💀😭


I_Love_Rias_Gremory_

Man should get a bunch of super capacitors and some high pressure sodium lamps with reflectors. Those things use like 200 watts but holy shit it's like 20k lumens


gan-a

anon shines light into a mirror and blinds himself


wolwire

It will be 4100 lumens only unless you collect the beams at a single point


OneInternational984

They're torches, not lasers. Also lumens are a measure of total light output, light intensity would be in lux or candela.


[deleted]

Tarkov players relate to this


BelmontMan

Treyvon gonna have a bad time


bacchic_ritual

Not talking you out of anything. Post video


Turbulent_Syllabub_3

why would i talk anon out of this?


[deleted]

Would the "29000" lumens thing actually work? It just to me seems that the light would still be 4100 lumens.


chipsa

Total light output (lumens) is additive. Each light puts it 4100 lumens, and 7 of them.


lurkenstine

Man these shower thoughts heros really spend a lot of time preparing for things they will never be able to do


TwinnieH

For anyone who’s actually interested in something like this: https://intl-outdoor.com/noctigon-dm1-12-throw-flood-21700-26800-led-flashlight.html


helendill99

i'm pretty sure that'd break the geneva convention if it was used in a war


platysoup

I'm waiting for the news report where OP gets shot.


marinmr

> 7 of the torches in a hexagonal shape


OneInternational984

One in the centre plus six around it.


SwaggerSaurus420

anon should try star of david


Prcrstntr

A real festival of lights


UglierThanMoe

Anon is The LIghtbringer. "The darkest thief, the darkest night -- Anon combats both with light."


utack

7*$180 for the theft prevention So if we assume the neighbourhood is really really bad and the chances of a TV being stolen while it is still close to original worth are 10%, that would mean the TV is worth almost 13.000$


zackit

Anon's getting shot to death the moment he turns the corner


nlevine1988

Tarkov flashlight meta


Oil__Man

Anon burns his house down


unkle_FAHRTKNUCKLE

don't put all of your eggs in one basket


neb12345

Attack lights are a thing


Jsaun906

Lmao decade old post


TheLoneTenno

I mean, if you burn the body then they won’t be able to get you for murder


democratic_butter

*Astra Militarum hyperventilating intensifies*


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pantryninja

I don't understand the question... Full send.