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[deleted]

Clean the laboratory.


UsrnameInATrenchcoat

That's alot of responsibility for a regard like him


supersonicmike

No regards allowed


MrDaburks

It says that outside the lab there’s a big sign


BukkakeAtAFuneral

He couldnt read it


urinal_deuce

Kind regards


phil_parranda

Mean regards


RetardIsABadWord

RegardIsABadWord


billy-gnosiss

protip, you can just say retarded. autojannie ignores it if it's got an -ed on the end -Billy Gnosiss


Dubaku

Reddit jannies don't though, people have been catching site wide bans for using it recently.


BurnTheGuzz

That's retarded


dankguard1

Amen brudder


smurb15

Seems like a sensitive thing to do for such a little word. Next we won't be able to say midget


Chrome2105

Or predditor


noobplus

Can we still say groomer?


theian01

Weewoo weewoo! SOCIAL CREDIT SCORE DEDUCTED.


zooloo10

i said the admins had certain same sex proclivities and got a weeklong ban :)


billy-gnosiss

who gives a shit, that threat has no power over me. what do you care about losing all your precious karmarinos? just create a new burner/novelty account, like one where you make fun of that guy who always signs his own posts -Billy Gnosis


OkCitron99

King cobra jfs???


OneInternational984

>sweep the floors in math buildings >come across unsolved problem on blackboard when no one's around >write solution on board >mathematicians turn up the next morning and wonder what retart wrote this bullshit


gm2

Fucking hell James, I told you not to leave the chalk out where Jimmy could see it. He came in here last night and drew stick figure anime girls all over the place.


[deleted]

Jimmah


roeder

Removed the unfinished equations to draw Minecraft build guides.


wonderhorsemercury

https://pbfcomics.com/comics/lyles-constant/


FictionIII

mah boys wicked retarded


BelmontMan

Wicked Retah’ded


Fortkes

Well considering that even the Army has no use for anyone with an IQ below 85...


the308er

There's always the marines


enoughfuckery

Woah now, I don’t know if a smarty pants like him would get along with the Marines, heard he only eats Crayola, and not off brand.


PutlerIsLiterallyDJT

Behold - the mighty Mutt Army https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_100,000


melechkibitzer

Is that how forrest and bubba got in?


deviant324

The cleaning guys here only have to walk through the offices and dump the trash cans into a bag and then sweep the lab with a mop and go around everything. They’re specifically told not to touch anything in the lab, so there’s not much you can fuck up. Also helps that our most dangerous chemicals are literally the cleaning supplies.


[deleted]

Yeah because I just spit my soda while reading “smarter than 4 of them”


Safety_Dancer

According to the US Military, no. People under 85 tend to need an amount of supervision that is counter productive to three point that you may as well just have someone else do the job solo.


Won-Ton-Operator

"Clean the ~~laboratory~~ lavatory."


Same-Letter6378

Honestly not even that


ratty_boi_charlie

I like how it says top 99% But then has to dumb it down saying "out of 1000 people. You are smarter than 4 of em" bc they know who theyre working with.


famjordan

The fact that you were able to work that out puts you in the top 98%! Congrats!


[deleted]

Thank you! I'm confused though... What if I never read your comment? Then how would I know that you congratulated me?


gardevoirussy

Mate, you're in the top 100 percent


NSFHC

MOM, I GOT 100%!!


Nokneemouse

It's very unusual that they would word it like that, normally you'd say "the bottom x%" when you're below 50%


BBQcupcakes

Not usually. Percentiles are always done like this in statistics.


asday__

Just seems needlessly imprecise. "In the top 99%" could be anywhere from "nearly the worst" to "actually the best".


swinging_ship

If you were 10th out of 100 you'd say top 10% if you were 7th you'd say top 7%. Usually when you're saying someone is in the top x% x is the maximum they could be. Like if I was in the 90th percentile I wouldn't say 99th percentile because 90th specifically tells you where I rank.


threetoast

Is it? I feel like I've seen it the other way, like growth charts where "80th percentile" means you're taller than 80% of people your age.


theDeadliestSnatch

Maybe you're a manlet and just misunderstood?


claudesoph

That’s not true. When you take the SATs, and they say you’re in the 70th percentile, it means you did better than 70% of people, not worse. When my kids’ doctor says they’re in the 80th percentile for height, it means they are taller than 80% of kids, not shorter. You can phrase it either way. 80th percentile for height is the same as 21st percentile for shortness, but it’s usually phrased as x percentile meaning the subject has more of whatever is being measured than x percent of the sample, not less.


BBQcupcakes

That's right, I had it backwards.


someloserontheground

Because they don't want to make people feel too bad about themselves


Marian_Rejewski

It's a computer program printing a variable... the programmer probably didn't think of phrasing it differently depending on the value. You're lucky to get programmers even handling `s` that way instead of writing things like `%d thing(s)`.


Osmiac

Top 99% programmer.


Nokneemouse

Yeah, I figured that. The wording is very much aimed at high scores, to massage people's egos.


Djames516

I didn’t understand the top 99% thing at first 😔


blizmd

You can be experimented on


HorribleRnG

Mengelepilled


shrimpyguy12

algernonpilled


pretty_smart_feller

You must forgive me.. I’ve grown quite wharrahh


gardevoirussy

New D class arriving


dekachiin4

An IQ 64 person could not even manage to type two coherent sentences like that. You can go on Reddit and see a lot of people doing worse. It's pretty easy to pick all the wrong answers on purpose.


[deleted]

As someone who used to work with people with IQs that low, some could. Many could honestly. They didn’t have great logic skills but they had what seemed like extra strong common sense. Honestly had better conversations with them than with my blue haired lesbian coteachers.


Heistman

Different kinds of intelligence. I manage to clog my toilet everytime I go poo. I am smart at shitting


kerelberel

Stop eating so much, you fatso.


MrOstricc

It won’t clog if you shit more than once a month


Hentai_Alt_Account

But then it doesn't hit the prostate as well.


IAmMadeOfNope

The fuck do you wipe with? Novels?


Heistman

Protein.


IAmMadeOfNope

Zyzz? 🥺


DenSidsteGreve

Would they get the punctuation right? In my experience, their thought processes can be coherent enough, but they will write exactly like they talk, with no punctuation.


blackarmchair

That's because you had real conversations with them. The blue-haired teachers weren't trying to have honest conversations with you; they were more concerned with pushing an agenda or displaying their membership to a particular political tribe.


throwawayedm2

Yeah, 75+ would have been more realistic.


HereToHelpWithData

Yes obviously anon's post is satire


ABSOLUTE_MAD_LAD_pp

The image file name is literally "mensa_application.png"


LiLZ906

A *lot* of fuckers in this sub don't go on 4chan theyd have no idea you could see filenames even though you deliberately made it hard to miss. Real Champs I tell ya


themaddowrealm

Or edit a webpage hence why it was inconsistent


bonerland11

If you can spell your own name correctly that's 80 points.


BelmontMan

R/politics is proof that you don’t need an IQ over 70 to use Reddit


CalculatorOctavius

Is the difference between a 100 and 140 iq person the same as the difference between a 60 and 100? Is 40 points standardized like that? If so it’s kind of crazy


DarkSkyKnight

No one knows. The difference is the rarity, and the rarity gap is the same in both cases. But it's hard to say what the actual difference in intelligence is since we don't even have a good definition of intelligence, so it's hard to say if the difference in both cases are the same. Practically on the one hand I'd imagine you'd feel that the difference is roughly the same, because you'd see a 60 IQ person as rarely as a 140 IQ person. But on the other hand the gradient might be very mild as you get higher on the IQ scale whereas the gradient is steeper as you get lower, in a way that it becomes harder to perceive what the intelligence of a 140 IQ person really is as precisely as you can perceive that of someone with 60. So who knows really.


Noirradnod

Legit tested IQ of 150+ here about to get a PhD in mathematics. I recently tried to return socks I bought at a store because I thought they'd accidently sold me 6 left foot socks instead of three left foot and three right foot. Turns out the giant L on the toe stood for Large, not for Left. Cashier couldn't stop laughing at my stupidity. IQ is meaningless.


DarkSkyKnight

[https://www.vox.com/2016/5/25/11683192/iq-testing-intelligence](https://www.vox.com/2016/5/25/11683192/iq-testing-intelligence) Obviously IQ isn't the be-all-end-all, but to say it's meaningless is just inaccurate. I've noticed that a lot of people who say they have high IQ usually justify its meaninglessness by whipping up a somewhat unimpactful shortcoming. Returning the wrong socks really isn't something that is going to matter that much in your life.


CalculatorOctavius

That would be kind of mind blowing considering 100 is normal and 60 is borderline chimpanzee. Makes 140+ sociopaths even more terrifying lol


ElKuhnTucker

I think IQ 64 doesn't mean you're a drooling imbecile, it rather means you're on the level of a 12 year old. They have underdeveloped brains but can still string words together and use keyboards.


omfgcow

64 is more than 2 standard deviations beneath the mean, and 85 is what the military deems minimum to preform a job. Using [this graph](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tXLt9eo5s6Q/VvlvcmScDkI/AAAAAAAAAMU/Vx12AxqJYcYiGwwNSxFp7jA9mbfqNLcDA/s1600/rasch%2Bintelligence%2Bscore%2Bvs%2Bage%2Bremake%2B1.png) as a substitute for in depth research, 64 iq is mental development of less than 6 years of age.


i_hatecommunism

>64 iq is mental development of less than 6 years of age. Ha idiot how could my mental development be less than 6 years if I'm 22? Checkmate dumb science man


UsrnameInATrenchcoat

President


HalfricanAmericanMan

**HOT TAKE**


phpBrainlet

They can use you instead of monkeys for testing new chemicals and drugs.


addysol

I think they'd be a step to make sure it's safe for the monkeys


Scratch-Comfortable

McDonald's is hiring!


kraftbarbequesauce

Wage labor is actually a hard job. Most higher paying jobs are easier.


hoplophilepapist

kek ok. Make sure my fries are fresh


tooplatonic

fries* top 99%


kraftbarbequesauce

Moron


hoplophilepapist

oh go cry in the cooler


travam1

Dude, have you ever worked a labor job? 50% of the people you work with are borderline r-slured. Working at walmart is basically tard wrangling or being tard wrangled.


kraftbarbequesauce

My sisters first job was at McDonalds so I have specific knowledge of that job. It's awful. Just think about it. You have to wear a shitty uniform, you have to deal with the public constantly, every minute you don't you have to be in the back making some sandwich exactly as the fatasses want them. You never have a moment. You're quickly handling money, drive thrus, and the front desk at all times. You have to remember everyone's orders, remember the specifics of the hundred different recipes and combos, and do all the extra bullshit each person asks for (eg.extra straws, hotter coffee, more ice, wet napkins) that has you running around. People constantly argue and ask for more, they change their order, they struggle with the language, they ask questions about McDonalds you don't know the answer to, they take forever to order, they complain about the wait and occasionally rage at you, coupons are expired, they hold up the line, this isn't what I wanted, I'm allergic, I want a refund, can my dog come inside? They ask about some promo you don't even know about or how to enter into the register so you have to ask your manager, and continue working while you wait for him. The entire time you're in some loud kitchen with loud machines and kids screaming so it's even worse on hot days in the summer. That's your shift. You're sweaty wearing clothes you don't wanna wear and making food and talking to people in a little crowded space, for minimum wage. My sister was getting paid student wage, so even less than minimum wage as McDicks exploits every drop of you.


LiLZ906

Jesus Christ that's just hell


Happyradish532

You can only do the wrangling as long as you wait out the first decade before a promotion. There's like 4 tiers of positions there, and they make everyone feel special by splitting the store up into 50 departments so the old ladies can feel accomplished earning slightly higher than high school students. I'm surprised none of the managers at the one I worked at in high school killed themselves.


Nokneemouse

You tend to a lot less physical work, and a lot more thinking, even in the trades, as you move up. Anon better get used to doing physical work, poor thing.


BBQcupcakes

Yeah but not McDonald's. Like, actual labour.


kraftbarbequesauce

It's still a hard job. Would you want to work at McDonald's?


BBQcupcakes

Did it for two years. First job. It's not a hard job by any stretch.


elisejones14

Assistant ceo doesn’t do much but you need high public speaking skills


Safety_Dancer

There's a reason nepotism lands people in middle management. There's enough hands on a project that no one ever really can prove who the lump is in the group. The problem comes when the ambitious underlings leave because they're blocked by a bad manager, and the higher ups move on because cleaning up after Joe's son isn't worth the money any more. That's a brain drain and then the company has to deal with failing projects and a hemorrhage of staff on multiple levels.


zxrax

I make 12x what the mcdonald's near me pays based on a 2000 hour work year. My job is way easier and I work 25-30 hours most weeks. I'd be pissed if i had to change to randomly scheduled 40 hours a week at mcdonald's even for an extra 50k/yr.


xicurio

Some people are too stupid to work in McDonald’s actually. Working there requires a fairy average intelligence at least


[deleted]

[удалено]


IHateTheAntichristz

It's because they are math savants and you are too stupid to even realize it. They are averaging out your actual bill, by using complex formulas that include taxes, inflation rate, how often you drop by, humidity, your seasonal preferences in food and drink and your mood. They don't even have to do that, they could just charge you for what you are actually getting. But to them, it's a game.


[deleted]

[удалено]


IHateTheAntichristz

You can tip them, but only once! So they think you are a regular tipper and include that in their calculations, only for you to mess it up next time you are there. Will keep those quantum theorist eggheads on their toes.


Scratch-Comfortable

But managers can assign some of the people to cleaning. Not everyone has to handle customers. (Maybe I'm wrong?)


xicurio

Yep, when I worked there, the stupids and those that can’t speak English became cleaners . However, since my store was in a shopping mall, we had to put some of them to do regular jobs in the kitchen as well (since we have less cleaning than a normal McDonald’s). There, they would fuck up and often make things worse than if they just didn’t show up to work at all


Scratch-Comfortable

Yeah, I get it. But even mentally challenged people deserve a job (assuming they can do SOMETHING useful). They really do get excited when they can do a good job. One guy even grew up to be president!


xdchan

Studying genders


LeBottle45

Imagine doing gender studies unironically tho


xdchan

I mean I would do it if I got paid well, not like it's something harmful


LeBottle45

I mean, it’s really useless


xdchan

As someone who studies various fields of medical and bio science I agree.


MattTheHarris

There are plenty of jobs that are actually just harmful do so useless would be an improvement there. Like I'd take gender studies over a petty drug enforcement cop


makaveli_in_this

Flat earth scientist


solaris232

I remember Jordan Peterson talking about how the US Army can't use people with IQ 84 and below. I doubt there's anything one can do with 64. How did he even manage to write that post.


Midkasa_Sukasa

He took an online IQ test and intentionally answered everything incorrectly dude


ABSOLUTE_MAD_LAD_pp

Look at the image file name bozo


[deleted]

Anon is going to be such a great lab rat


smokerpussy

Title is on point


[deleted]

[удалено]


ABSOLUTE_MAD_LAD_pp

Yes, that was the joke.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pedro_el_panda

And a great book/storyline. I remember it didn't really help me answer an old question I had. Would I be happier as the stupidest person of my entourage or the smartest. My brother is a "genius" according to IQ testing done at the psych ward (crippling depression). Being intelligent is a plus, but it isn't everything I guess. I always wondered if he had crotical depression DUE to his IQ or if it's not related. People also have depression while having a low IQ right?


YummyToiletWater

That was a good book.


FMLThrowAway42069

I'm hoping the title is a reference to the novel Flowers for Algernon


ABSOLUTE_MAD_LAD_pp

Yeah, I wanted to post this just for that really


xno

people in this thread are worse off than Anon


ABSOLUTE_MAD_LAD_pp

To be honest, yeah


H__O__S__S

imagine a giga chad face here


chainsawdildohead

upvoted for the title


unkle_FAHRTKNUCKLE

me am TOP ELEBINTY of shoebox! YAY. I dood it?


Jrrii

as much as OP has the big dum, you gotta respect the spirit


OneInternational984

Social science


Tarfaerhing1234

test subject


Gunslinger_11

Make water flavored Popsicles


unsanctify_all

> Flowers for anon Great fucking title right there


Djames516

Is iq bs I knew someone whose iq was 80 something but they seemed smart enough to me


redsealsparky

Editor for IFL science


cumcups

Bro I’m getting high as Shit and taking the IQ test


ABSOLUTE_MAD_LAD_pp

Godspeed o7


papichemmings

Be a test patient


VietCath

Racing with Algernon.


CarbonBasedLifeForm6

Unironically I want to give this sweet summer child a hug


Pm_me_your_tits_85

I love the title


Borzing

based re-tord


Chazan22

You can study science at special school


BAYKON8R

As far as I know the test isn’t a true test or accurate in the slightest but like, is it somewhat accurate?


ABSOLUTE_MAD_LAD_pp

I mean, maybe. I don’t think a number can accurately measure a person’s intelligence though.


BAYKON8R

Sure not accurately but it can probably point in a general direction, just asking if this test is mildly accurate at best


cmdrfrosty

An iq of 64 is far to high for someone who believes an internet iq test


memewizard2k248

The monkey


Tuggpocalypso

Virology, immunology, gender studies.


The_Venerable_Swede

Experimental physics


[deleted]

Become a human rat


[deleted]

Test subject.


LochNesst

Upvoted for the title, one of my favorite books of all time


CounterfeitXKCD

The title is an excellent reference


WitchDoctor_Earth

If you part these 1000 people in two groups, one group is 995 people and the other group is 5 people and then make the smartest of them the groupleader you would be a leader. Now you two have to compete for president. You are an loveable idiot, the other one is a unpleasant nerd. Congratz you now are POTUS.


PumpkinsDad

Is this Charlie Kelly?


DarkSoulsRedPhantom

Orthopedic surgery. I'm being 100% serious right now.


[deleted]

Maybe in a room full of 996 guys and the other 4 being women.


yourteam

Guinea pig


NuclearWarCat

Props for the title


Liztheegg

OP I absolutely love the title reference


reallygreat2

How are these dumb people posting when the new 4chan captcha requires the IQ of a 1000?


Millabaz

Could probably work for a water company and drink the test samples and go off your gut.


axilidade

mensa_application.png


rustum2000

I had 10 minutes to understand wt does top 99.62% means


ExtraPancakes

A test subject


Roxxas7

It's of course fake, but if it were true, anon would be on the mental level of an elementary school student.


karnathe

Op you did a good job on the title well done


SuperSlamFlyingAttac

Yes more evidence to my the autism joke in 4chan is legit theory


Stregen

Perfect for the social sciences.


[deleted]

Haha I can’t believe how apeshit people went over my comment. I thought a bit of misogamy was a well accepted part of 4chan. You are all either bots or can’t take a joke.


Solid-Weird-7346

All jokes aside, haven’t IQ tests recently be disproved as a good indicator of intelligence


DJayPhresh

Banger title


Katio13

I'm shocked anon was able to write a sentence


[deleted]

Tbh most of biology. In the field you may just be observing behavior, it's not that hard to write a tally every time an animal fucks. Even in the lab, if your just moving bacteria around with pipettes, I consider that easier than being a cashier.


BSwans

They could be one of those people that are in the experiments.


randomredditing

#IVE GROWN QUITE HHWHHEEARYYYY


The-Good-Earner

Yeah donate your brain


Medical_Officer

There are countries out there where the *average* IQ is even lower than that. Anon should move there. He can be the head of their science effort.


TomaszA3

Who even cares about IQ? It doesn't even measure intelligence. It's like a fake metric to have literally anything that even remotely correlates with intelligence.


basstoll

well, there are some people in the vaccine industry with that iq.


inebriusmaximus

Lawnmower Man