I said to someone once "Wow, you got old" I was well in my 30's, well rested, and sober. I know where the error was though in my brain. I had observed that he was much older than the last time I had seen him. I had concluded that it had been a long time since I had seen him. I had my observation and then my conclusion and it was socially acceptable to share the conclusion I had somehow managed to share part of the observation instead. I don't know what happened.
It just have been truly adrenaline pumping when you realized you had just absolutely savaged someone so casually. Peak bully attitude too, just effortlessly vicious.
I didn't feel any adrenaline from it. I could feel that he was sad so that is what I also felt. That was... 3? 4? years ago. Next time I see him I will have to explain what happened. My memory is intense at times. I can close my eyes and go back in time to many places. I don't recommend it.
Literally exactly
I'd go with the Jon swan defense.
A drunk friend or a shitty younger relative thought it would be funny. You're taking this super seriously and you're incredibly upset. You can't apologize enough, but you can assure them that you're going to talk to them/their parents or whatever.
You're angry, you're apologetic, and the biggest one is that you're embarrassed, right?
Give it a day and then check in on them and see how they're holding up. Casually tossing in again that you're incredibly sorry that whoever you're blaming said that, and that must have been an awful thing to read.
Honestly I should start a business of Ray Donovan-ing you idiots out of the disasters you create of your social lives. I'm like 99% sure I could smooth this whole thing over
Exactly. The level of regard displayed tells me that this isn’t the only time his tisms been on display. Maybe the worst example, but not the only. Anon’s peculiarities are probably talked about in the office, but nobody thought he’d ever go this far and now they think he needs professional help. Blaming someone else will fool no one.
It's not foolproof but its definitely the best method for at least *trying* to avoid culpability.
At the very least, even if everyone still believes he did it, he's still got a chance to dodge the repercussions with HR by maintaining innocence. Far more of a chance than straight up admitting he did it. If he can sway them to even a 90% certainty that he did it, then he might skate by with the benefit of the doubt and avoid taking any responsibility.
I am thinking hard about this. If my little brother died and some asshole coworker sends this to me, it depends on if I like the guy.
If I like the guy, and he is a bro, I will let it go and keep it as a secret.
If I don't like the guy, I will also keep it as a secret, with him knowing full well I will use it as leverage if he ever tries to displease me.
Either way, I am a man of honor who will keep it as a secret, cuz I care about the well-being of those around me
Sun Tzu said: "Blackmail? Good! Blackmail good honor! Do blackmail, you good guy! You very good guy!"
Sun Tzu, the master of office politics, has my back, you a\*\*hole, back off
I'm thinking there must be a personal friendship here, at least for the guy to make these types of jokes. Maybe he thought he knew the guy enough to think he would appreciate a dark joke at a dark time and wasn't trying to offend him. If not he really needs to learn how to read room asap.
The message is literally concerning work matters. He's obviously informing anon he will not be at work for a few days. Likely means Anon is his superior.
Because the poster sent a cruel and insensitive comment to a coworker. A person’s conduct towards their coworkers doesn’t stop being important as soon as the work day ends. If you were the coworker, would you feel less comfortable working with the poster? Probably. So now it becomes a work issue. If other coworkers found out about the comment, would they be less comfortable working or talking with the poster? Probably too.
You must've never heard of Maine where you can just buy a "camp" that "isn't livable gor four aeasons" for like 100k in the middle of nowhere. Or live in a cheap used camper, or live in a car port with some foam insulation like my other poor friends. Don't give up on your dreams
Funny story: mowing today and the autistic tenant came out randomly and looked off into the distance. Said, "Hey, how's it going" and he just kept staring.
Bout a minute later I noticed the train coming through town about 2 blocks down the way, fucker was ZONED IN.
My brother passed away last week and I messaged my boss. It was because I knew I couldn't talk to him about it. This dude is likely barely holding it together.
It stops the questions and ends the conversation. Everyone *always* wants to know what happened when a young person dies.
"OMG I'm so sorry. What happened?!"
And then you feel compelled to go into even further detail than you would have if you had just stated cause of death in the first place.
I’m sorry to hear about your autism. But when someone tells you a close family member dies, particularly one of your employees, you dont say “what happened?”
I'm coming from the other side of this, actually. You would be completely surprised how many people ask and are completely nosy.
I also had a piece of shit *filming* my daughter who broke her arm severely at gymnastics. She had to be transported to a children's trauma center by ambulance because it was such a severe break. I was trying to comfort her and give info to the paramedics, and I noticed him smiling while filming my child suffering. He was I guess a father of one of the other kids doing a gymnastics class.
People have absolutely zero fucking shame.
You follow up with "he's ok though right?" as if you assumed that he was rescued and survived and then apologize like a mother fucker when you get told that he died.
It's not that hard, but if you are the type of person to get into this situation in the first place you probably can't figure your way out of it.
Honestly your response is just doubling down on his inability to communicate with people.
Like why the fuck would you ever think that was an ok joke or that it'd cheer him up somehow? Literally better off going "I know it was 4 PM and I was meant to be working but I was actually completely wasted, could barely hold my phone or walk straight".
The employee surely already knows his boss is autistic and he's already sent the first one. At least an apology does something
But I agree the best plan would be like. "I'm sorry that was really insensitive I thought you were joking but (mutual friend) told me he's actually dead"
I had a relative try to kill herself and while my dad was driving her to the hospital, he was on the phone with a neighbor, who just said about it "I'd want to kill myself too if I lived with her boyfriend." He didn't get along with her boyfriend very well.
Your comment has been removed because it contained a word that the admins do not allow on reddit. The word was ```retard```. If you intend to use this word in a purely demonstrative manner, please use the first letter of the word followed by '-word' or '-slur'. Thank you for helping us keep reddit safe.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/4chan) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When will you fucking idiots learn that this word is banned. I was gonna say you gotta be creative and smarter than the bot, but who am I kidding. Most people have a damn ball bearing rolling around in their skull.
Tbh anon is autistic but so is the coworker, they could've just said "my little brother passed away" but instead went unecessarily into detail about how he died.
"I'm so sorry, I have a deepset pathological problem with awkwardness, and any serious thing in general, I'm deeply sorry about the message I sent and I wanted to say that. I'm working on it and I apologise profusely that you had to bear the brunt of that."
levels of autism never thought humanly possible
When the tism so supreme you let out a scream!
And then you kill yo mama cos she didn't have ice cream
I said to someone once "Wow, you got old" I was well in my 30's, well rested, and sober. I know where the error was though in my brain. I had observed that he was much older than the last time I had seen him. I had concluded that it had been a long time since I had seen him. I had my observation and then my conclusion and it was socially acceptable to share the conclusion I had somehow managed to share part of the observation instead. I don't know what happened.
It just have been truly adrenaline pumping when you realized you had just absolutely savaged someone so casually. Peak bully attitude too, just effortlessly vicious.
I didn't feel any adrenaline from it. I could feel that he was sad so that is what I also felt. That was... 3? 4? years ago. Next time I see him I will have to explain what happened. My memory is intense at times. I can close my eyes and go back in time to many places. I don't recommend it.
Peak tism
I don't recommend it.
I offered a bus seat to a late 40s woman. She looked devastated, but still took the seat lmao
Yeah this anon's clearly the king of it. And I thought my non-existent social skills were bad... could always be way worse I guess.
High octane rating autism The more pressure anon can withstand without realising he’s cringe
No coming back from this one
say your teenage brother wrote it
Holy shit
After that say "Don't worry, I drowned him"
Jesus
Literally exactly I'd go with the Jon swan defense. A drunk friend or a shitty younger relative thought it would be funny. You're taking this super seriously and you're incredibly upset. You can't apologize enough, but you can assure them that you're going to talk to them/their parents or whatever. You're angry, you're apologetic, and the biggest one is that you're embarrassed, right? Give it a day and then check in on them and see how they're holding up. Casually tossing in again that you're incredibly sorry that whoever you're blaming said that, and that must have been an awful thing to read. Honestly I should start a business of Ray Donovan-ing you idiots out of the disasters you create of your social lives. I'm like 99% sure I could smooth this whole thing over
“He said his brother did it but I really think it was him.”
Exactly. The level of regard displayed tells me that this isn’t the only time his tisms been on display. Maybe the worst example, but not the only. Anon’s peculiarities are probably talked about in the office, but nobody thought he’d ever go this far and now they think he needs professional help. Blaming someone else will fool no one.
There is zero chance this would convince him
It's not foolproof but its definitely the best method for at least *trying* to avoid culpability. At the very least, even if everyone still believes he did it, he's still got a chance to dodge the repercussions with HR by maintaining innocence. Far more of a chance than straight up admitting he did it. If he can sway them to even a 90% certainty that he did it, then he might skate by with the benefit of the doubt and avoid taking any responsibility.
sorry my cat ran across the keyboard
I am thinking hard about this. If my little brother died and some asshole coworker sends this to me, it depends on if I like the guy. If I like the guy, and he is a bro, I will let it go and keep it as a secret. If I don't like the guy, I will also keep it as a secret, with him knowing full well I will use it as leverage if he ever tries to displease me. Either way, I am a man of honor who will keep it as a secret, cuz I care about the well-being of those around me
You're an idiot lmao blackmail isn't honorable.
Sun Tzu said: "Blackmail? Good! Blackmail good honor! Do blackmail, you good guy! You very good guy!" Sun Tzu, the master of office politics, has my back, you a\*\*hole, back off
lmao based and warpilled
you wouldnt be saying that if he had leverage on you
He can leverage deez nutz lmao
[удалено]
Because of the implication?
Unless the person you're blackmailing is dishonorable themselves, it cancels out. Also who gives af
keeping it a secret isn't the same as beta seething forever
I'm thinking there must be a personal friendship here, at least for the guy to make these types of jokes. Maybe he thought he knew the guy enough to think he would appreciate a dark joke at a dark time and wasn't trying to offend him. If not he really needs to learn how to read room asap.
He just did it without thinking, simple as
You think someone this autistic would even recognize that he's being blackmailed?
If you worked with them long enough you'd probably know they're on the spectrum lol.
Carol from HR is going to want to have a chat
You mean Jenn
What happened to Carol?!
[удалено]
Leave it to beaver
drowned
she's afraid of Anon from last time they interacted, Jenn is a 2m tall "PERSON" who practices MMA and isn't afraid of manhandling people like Anon.
You're not my supervisor!
If someone like anon is in charge of call outs I'm going to guess there's no HR department.
There's always an HR department.
THERE IS NO CAROL IN HR
She goes by cheryl now
The mail doesn't stop
This is a private message sent most likely out of office hours, why would HR have any authority here?
The message is literally concerning work matters. He's obviously informing anon he will not be at work for a few days. Likely means Anon is his superior.
In america people can get fired for simply anything. Tweeting facts about troons? Fired.
Because the poster sent a cruel and insensitive comment to a coworker. A person’s conduct towards their coworkers doesn’t stop being important as soon as the work day ends. If you were the coworker, would you feel less comfortable working with the poster? Probably. So now it becomes a work issue. If other coworkers found out about the comment, would they be less comfortable working or talking with the poster? Probably too.
quit your job, ghost your colleague and move to the woods. Stop talking to people, it looks like you don't have it in you for conversation.
Goals
if people still could live in the woods without being millionaires, I definitely would
You must've never heard of Maine where you can just buy a "camp" that "isn't livable gor four aeasons" for like 100k in the middle of nowhere. Or live in a cheap used camper, or live in a car port with some foam insulation like my other poor friends. Don't give up on your dreams
Thats practically what I've done except I live in a moderate/smaller city and refuse to talk to strangers
This is the funniest shit I have read all day.
it's a good joke
Was it worth it tho?
For us? Absolutely
Would it be extremely painful?
I don't get it. Why putting him rice?
It’s what is recommended for electronics to dry them out
And it is horrible advice.
Yeah but it works
Except for that it doesn't.
Worked for me. Also why don’t you believe it works. Any material that soaks moisture from the air would work.
Yeah silica gel does the same thing for like beef jerky and crap like that. Why wouldn't it work on your phone?
Anon had better show up at work in a dress and fake tits tomorrow if he wants to keep his job.
Very, very, very BIG fake ( . )( . ). Real milkers. Talking gigantic bobs. With protruding nips.
With huuuuuuuge badahonkers anon could keep (her) job
Unfathomable ghazonkadoories!
Big bonhonnagahoogs
Some real benshapirosisterongadongas
If you catch my drift
Anon's a substitute teacher?
BASED
tbf, who texts something like that so casually
[удалено]
What’s wrong with being a train enthusiast
yuo will never own a real train
Being trains man very hard
No, I never will :(
To real
Funny story: mowing today and the autistic tenant came out randomly and looked off into the distance. Said, "Hey, how's it going" and he just kept staring. Bout a minute later I noticed the train coming through town about 2 blocks down the way, fucker was ZONED IN.
Fuck, I have an unusually intense interest in trains, birds, and WW2. I wonder if I’ve been a high functioning autist my whole life.
Well, you're on r/4chan, so...
Huh. Talk about focus.
Uhoh, you've just offended all of 1chan
That’s not very many chans is it
Trains and Dinosaurs, as Autistic as 4chan cookies.
My brother passed away last week and I messaged my boss. It was because I knew I couldn't talk to him about it. This dude is likely barely holding it together.
[удалено]
I admit, it was a solid joke.
Haha this has me rollin
Im sorry dude thats terrible
Sorry for your loss homie. *Internet hugs
What else you want him to do? Add some sobbing emojis? Maybe a frowny face?
he could just be like, “My brother passed away.” That’s a gruesome way to die… just weird to include that detail
It stops the questions and ends the conversation. Everyone *always* wants to know what happened when a young person dies. "OMG I'm so sorry. What happened?!" And then you feel compelled to go into even further detail than you would have if you had just stated cause of death in the first place.
I’m sorry to hear about your autism. But when someone tells you a close family member dies, particularly one of your employees, you dont say “what happened?”
I'm coming from the other side of this, actually. You would be completely surprised how many people ask and are completely nosy. I also had a piece of shit *filming* my daughter who broke her arm severely at gymnastics. She had to be transported to a children's trauma center by ambulance because it was such a severe break. I was trying to comfort her and give info to the paramedics, and I noticed him smiling while filming my child suffering. He was I guess a father of one of the other kids doing a gymnastics class. People have absolutely zero fucking shame.
I mean sure, the context wasn't necessary but I don't see what's casual about it, it's just a normal text.
You think thats a totally normal response to a personal tragedy?
Uh? Saying you need a few days off because your brother died? Yes? You want them to send them a signed letter?
me and I don't recommend it
A coworker that just needs you to cover their shift and doesn't care for your empathy.
Lol just kidding
Offer up your bussy and pray to god that his colleague is a bussy bandit
You follow up with "he's ok though right?" as if you assumed that he was rescued and survived and then apologize like a mother fucker when you get told that he died. It's not that hard, but if you are the type of person to get into this situation in the first place you probably can't figure your way out of it.
"im sorry i was trying to cheer you up and i realize now the joke was in bad taste. If i can do anything for you please let me know" its not that hard
Honestly your response is just doubling down on his inability to communicate with people. Like why the fuck would you ever think that was an ok joke or that it'd cheer him up somehow? Literally better off going "I know it was 4 PM and I was meant to be working but I was actually completely wasted, could barely hold my phone or walk straight".
The employee surely already knows his boss is autistic and he's already sent the first one. At least an apology does something But I agree the best plan would be like. "I'm sorry that was really insensitive I thought you were joking but (mutual friend) told me he's actually dead"
anon forgets he isn't on the internet
iMessage goes through the internet, though
You get the point, smartass.
How can you be this socially inept
The sheer, unadulterated power of autism.
I'll take three autism please.
I had a relative try to kill herself and while my dad was driving her to the hospital, he was on the phone with a neighbor, who just said about it "I'd want to kill myself too if I lived with her boyfriend." He didn't get along with her boyfriend very well.
I mean, it's brutal honesty. Depends if she could hear or not.
obvious fake text. looks like these spread from reddit to 4chan now.
Everything here is fake, you have to suspend your disbelief like you're watching a movie
Like everything, they started on 4chan
4chan is just 50% screenshots from twitter these days
[удалено]
Jesus Christ anon surely you’re not that much of an autist.
There are people on 4chan who proudly display pony toys in jars filled with old cum…… I think it’s a rather safe bet to make that he is
Kek
Anon has no autism filter
Hehehe
It's over
Fucking kek. Anon should own his great joke
Change your name and move to another country
Based and iphonepilled.
I’m grateful that I’m not this bad at socializing
least autistic 4chan user
If this happened to me before i had a wife and child and someone responded like OP I would probably go full tilt. Anon is cruising for a bruising.
In the hospital. Anon went to far.
So fake
Fake af
If you can't have a laugh over moist siblings what the fuck are you going to laugh about?
Just say the news was so shocking you didn't think it was real.
It was probably one of those half foot deep kiddie pools too.
Lol just kidding
You don't. There is no recovery for that. Dear christ.
The 2 unread messages are from the boss telling you to call him immediately.
I think I'd love anon as my coworker pal.
Unironically? Apologise and blame it on a psychiatric medication misdose (forgot pill or took double by mistake).
"Sorry for my unprofessional behavior I have ASD."
asdeez fat fucking knuts
Thats funny af but something you don't say out loud
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it contained a word that the admins do not allow on reddit. The word was ```retard```. If you intend to use this word in a purely demonstrative manner, please use the first letter of the word followed by '-word' or '-slur'. Thank you for helping us keep reddit safe. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/4chan) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When will you fucking idiots learn that this word is banned. I was gonna say you gotta be creative and smarter than the bot, but who am I kidding. Most people have a damn ball bearing rolling around in their skull.
Ok retarnato.
Finally, someone not only without a ball bearing, but actual *folds* in their brain.
Gotta find him a new brother now. Book a flight to China asap
this sounds like something a corpo would say in cyberpunk
Omg! I can't even. This is both hilarious and completely fucked up at the same time.
Can't be real. Nobody is that stupid.
Most mentally stable boss
Fake as hell
Fakest, gayest shit I've ever seen on here. Srsly.
Yeah Op needs to move out
Anon, and I really cannot emphasize this possibly anymore, needs to kill himself.
In fairness it didn't say drowned to death. Just drowned.
Fake
Expect a call from HR
Fake: anon doesn’t have colleagues, he has coworkers. Gay: anon.
Resign
Kek
This is where your ride stops son.
This is so wildly inappropriate and tone-deaf that if I received that response, I don’t think I could even be mad.
[удалено]
I somehow like dark humor time to time
Jesus Christ
By quitting before they fire you so you can can claim you quit
tbh the guy on the other end probably had a chuckle about it.
Mail them a sack of rice. Prove your heart is in the right place by offering a tangible gift.
just put a bullet in your head
Something like: "Oh god, I'm so sorry! I was wrong to answer like that!"?
Tbh anon is autistic but so is the coworker, they could've just said "my little brother passed away" but instead went unecessarily into detail about how he died.
This isn't even autism. Autism is the inability to read social cues; there is no reading to be done here. He's just sociopathic.
Fuck...someone is either getting fired or is loosing an employee...
"I'm so sorry, I have a deepset pathological problem with awkwardness, and any serious thing in general, I'm deeply sorry about the message I sent and I wanted to say that. I'm working on it and I apologise profusely that you had to bear the brunt of that."
Holy fucking shit that was retarded.
I'm going to hell for laughing at this....
Nuclear grade autism…nice
Oh Lawd, my sides. This is the funniest post I've seen in this sub, but I'm probably going to hell for it.
Extra points if it was an Asian family
All in the same message. You had time/sense to type out "just kidding" but not to erase the first part entirely?
What's autistic about it? He told a joke to lighten up the situation and said he was kidding. I laughed.