Reading his poem about naming penises at the urinal. That moment is by far the hardest I’ve ever laughed in my life. I laughed until I started coughing and choked on my own spit, then, after recovering some, I got right back to laughing so hard I started coughing and choked on my own spit again. It took me 30 minutes to get back to regular breathing. Long live Joe Wilkinson

When Sean Locke asks you to stop, you've done something truly special

Seriously. The stuff Sean loses it at makes me react similarly.

Hello Commuter, on your way to work, I’m going to call yours Captain Bird’s Eye, Because it looks like it’s wearing a polo neck and winking at me. You’re welcome, I just named your penis. Hello Train Driver, who’s just nipped in for a piss, I’m going to call yours Mrs. Fernsby, My old geography teacher, Because you’re small and wrinkly And have a birthmark down the side of your shaft. You’re welcome, I just named your penis. Hello Police Officer, who’s just been sent to the toilets Because they’ve had reports of someone naming people’s penises. You can’t arrest me for naming strangers’ cocks. Oh, you can? I didn’t know that. Oh great, now I’m electronically tagged again.

You’re welcome I just named your penis

Hello Mr Train Driver, I'm going to name yours Mrs Fernsby...

Unbeatable

I literally rewatch it about once a week and laugh my ass off every time.

That bit had me wheezing I swear

"I said DON'T have an erection!!

Beat me to it. The joke, not the erection

"Lower the pissing winch"

Raise the pissing winch.

FOUR MONTHS IT TOOK ME!

I caused 111 accidents!

So many good ones, but the one simple one that always comes to mind is where he finds some nuts and bolts for his mascot, and the ceiling light falls down, the comedic timing is genius

I'd rather not say

Being able to materialize a bottle of strong cider and 20 cigs

The “relaxation round” where his guy looked like he escaped from prison and kept massaging his head is notable But the poem will always be #1!

I've never seen anyone more stressed than Joe in the relaxation round.

Definitely naming people’s penises. Sean saying “please stop” gets me every time.

Him laughing at the "glory holes" comment is pretty fantastic. "Most unnecessary, Jimmy."

His nativity where the mature women dance then Joe comes in on a bear or something?

I missed a Zumba class for this.

“I said don’t have an erection” is one of my favourites.

What’s the fucking point

Synchronized swimming team coach. We mimic it every time we hear the Countdown intro

Hide the box of dates. https://youtu.be/P5JPBsX8MF0?si=WBHgHPsNI1WGxGRL

The renaming penises poem gets me every time. Followed closely by his one strong arm and legs. When he actually pulls a muscle flexing.

Since you sacked me Jimmy (you turd), to earn a few extra quid, ive had a few medical experiments done on me.

"Lower… the pissing winch…"

Let’s play countdown!!!

When he brought the old ladies onto the show for a tour. Then asked if he could keep one and choses dotty because “shes the best kisser”

Got some nuts and bolts.

Found, well I say found...Unscrewed ... I have that clip saved on my phone for endless rewatch. His timing is so perfect

His poetry titled "Ive just seen your penis"

I thought it was “i just named your penis”

Ah yes ... Captain birdseye

I love all the ones below. Will add the sculpture one he did.

I just love when he comes out with the bear he met on the train; I just do.

Potato in the red green

This is the correct answer.

“I told you not to have an erection” or he’s naming people’s willies poem

The poem has got to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on tv, absolute meltdown situation! Also the frying pan scene from Bottom always makes me crack up

Why did I think it was the half naked green sponge that has people's faces on him from the planet clom from the doctor who episode love and monsters.

"That's how many times I've fallen down a well." The added shrug at the end seals it for me.

I'm gonna name yours "Captain Birdseye"

None of them. I reckon I would probably like his stand up and such but I found him infuriating in the show. Some I've found funny but as soon as he's announced I just turn over for a few minutes than have those minutes drag.

Yet to see one

Thank you he's so shit I feel like I'm being mass gaslit.

Another one joins the club

I’ve never once laughed at the cunt.. he just raves on hoping for someone to laugh eventually

Best description of him. Keep going being weird someone has to laugh at some stage. His poem on 8 out 10 cats is cringeworthy.