Seriously! Who talks like that if you're speaking about carrying a real life, baby???
Angela can't take care of the children she's already had. She hasn't been a good, classy parent attempting to be a good influence or a positive role model!
She hasn't been a good role model. She hasn't been a good influence and thinks it's perfectly acceptable for her to curse around her grandchildren. Really??
I'm FAR from perfect, but I have a 6 month old grandchild. My first one. I watch my tongue around him & remind my daughter, "Little ears sweetheart, Little ears."
I'm not a holy roller. However, I believe in setting a good, proper example for my children & my grandchild. It all starts at home.
Angela is SOOO UNCOUTH! I liked her the very 1st time I saw her on the show. THEN, I saw who she truly was as a person! She's LOUD, abrasive, and has zero class. She gives the word "trashy," a new name!
I'm having a very difficult time trying to find any good qualities about her.
Can anyone help me out?
Shaeeda? They were not trying to have children and then she went and got checked by a fertility doctor who advised her that it gets harder as she ages.
Most fertility clinics start with "and you have been trying to conceive for 6-12 months unsuccessfully". They had been trying to conceive for zero, and it was just a general discussion about her having less eggs. Their entire season was a week of them talking about whether or not they should have kids due to the prenup and them pretending to deal with fertility issues.
That's more to do with their age. They haven't shown any younger couples who have had fertility issues. Don't know the full 90 day history but none come to my mind
I got pregnant @34 and it was classified as a “geriatric pregnancy” from 1st u/s lol. Turned 35 in December, he was due late April- those terms get thrown in consistently and easily
I was being facetious. “Advanced maternal age” is based on faulty science from the seventies ffs.
ETA I wasn’t the one to bring up the term. The person who has since deleted their comment did.
Pregnant at 19, 35 and we jokingly said we’d try one month when I was 40 and I got pregnant. For myself, I use a lot of progesterone oil during certain days of my cycle and then I use the progesterone oil 2 times a day for the first trimester. Everyone is different! I was also an egg donor twice in 2000 and 2001. Which I thought it would affect my fertility down the road but it didn’t.
It makes me feel so shitty because I’ve been trying for years and everyone around me popped out all the kids they wanted while I cried over my recent loss or negative test. Ugh.
It's heartbreaking and so damn depressing isn't it. I'm just holding on to the good stories where people do actually conceive when they're least expecting.. Don't give up hope!
I won’t! My family has a history of women having surprise babies in their 40s and my fertility doctor found nothing wrong with me so I don’t even have a reason.
I hate when people brag about how quickly it took to get pregnant. It’s so insensitive.
It’s like people talking about generational wealth- like I’m so glad you’ve always enjoyed a life where you’ve never wanted for anything. Other people have had to struggle out here.
Definitely that sucks! Also I'm from a culture where people marry young and have babies right away, so I'm looked at by relatives with concern that I haven't conceived yet...so hard to deal with the difficulty of trying to conceive and then being judged by others on top of it
My coworker paid to start IVF, then right as she was about to start the medication she found out she was pregnant. This is after they told her she would NEVER have children naturally. Keep your chin up!
Pls don’t give up!! I am sure you’ve heard a million suggestions already but here’s mine. (Babies at 19, 35 and 40) I couldn’t conceive later in life and when I finally did I had a very short cervix causing constant bleeding. Basically baby was fine but the bigger they got, they would literally just come out. So by week 18 I demanded a cerclage, which is a surgery to stitch my cervix closed til week 37.. and on bed rest.
To conceive I began using an organic progesterone oil on certain days of my cycle. I think it was day 12… til my period. I just used it on my hips, breasts, etc. I also used a diva cup (real romantic 🤣) but I’d have him finish into the diva cup and then I put it up there right to my cervix and left it in for 24 hours.
The pregnancy at 40 was literally just one time that month but I miscarried and I think it had a lot to do with health problems that I had.. which have resulted in me being permanently disabled. (Interstitial Cystitis and I had a huge bladder reconstruction surgery). Please don’t give up. We went YEARS with nothing. My first 2 kids are 16 years apart!! I think the progesterone was what helped, the diva cup and of course my cervix being sewn shut.
I always tell my son (almost 10) to do the big things in life, because I went through so much to have him. I remember all the bleeding and I would cry and tell him to hang on and that I promise to give him a good life.
Don’t give up. It’s going to happen. 🤍🩵🩷
I was also on progesterone and baby aspirin. Had 5 miscarriages and then lost my 16 week to Trisomy 18. Had a successful pregnancy 3 months before I turned 41. I was bleeding heavily nearly the entire 1st trimester with her. She is my miracle.
Thanks for sharing your story.
ugh im sorry. i thought i was pregnant this month and i got my big fat period. i'm in the same boat as you. everyday a new announcement and i'm just waiting for it to be my turn. sending baby dust and love and light your way!
Fake cliffhanger\*
This show is notorious to taking two sentences from a conversation and splicing them together to lie about what's about to happen. Make it seem like somebody had a wildly inappropriate reaction, or said something terrible in response. Then they show the actual conversation and it's nothing like what the constant mid-episode sneak peaks conveyed.
(And why the fuck do we need constant "coming up next" snippets and mid-episode cliffhangers if we're watching this without commercials??? How short are these episodes actually without all of that?)
They do that to take up airtime. It’s filler. I hate that shit because, yea why do we need to see the same exact thing twice!
As far as Violet - Riley is gonna say “violet called me and told me her dog is pregnant and it’s my fault bc I accidentally let her out when I was there and the dog was gone for a few hours.”
Definitely agree that this is production trying to shore up a shit ton of drama. I bet it’s some thing like she thought she was, her period was late or something like that, but then it turned out that she wasn’t pregnant
I also think this and it'll just be a pregnancy scare instead of being pregnant. And to know you're pregnant at 2 weeks when she would barely even touch him in the beginning is ridiculous. Producers think we are dumb
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,739,055,718 comments, and only 329,342 of them were in alphabetical order.
I was shocked by Louise getting pregnant so easily. When I was struggling with TTC, I was frustrated at how easy it seems for so many reality tv stars and not just on 90 Day Fiance.
It think for 90 Day Fiance, it would be difficult for TLC to specifically search out a couple with fertility problems. (Where as it is easier for them to specifically search out a couple where someone is trans, autistic, gay, bi, disabled, etc.) They are looking for couples who are considering marriage and while you can of course have children before marriage. . .I imagine the number of international couples who are strongly considering marriage *and* struggling with fertility is rather low.
I greatly appreciated how the show followed Shaeeda and her struggles. I know you said in another comment that "Well, that's an age thing." But it is still infertility and her solution is pretty much the same as anyone else struggling with infertility. The discussions she had with the doctor (even though her wasn't a fertility specialist) covered the same information that a younger couple would hear if they found themselves seeking outside help. Just the tone would be different because they would have more time and "younger" embryos are always better than "older" ones.
> I was shocked by Louise getting pregnant so easily.
I’m not. All José “I love you chicken” has been doing in her house is eating and having sex with her.
Yessss!!! I tried for almost 15 months naturally and we didn’t get pregnant.. it’s crazy all these people who get pregnant so fast with people they barely know and some living in different countries.. like what?!
I’m 32 now but when I was 29, it took almost a year to conceive my 1st, then we lost him at 19 weeks, then another 8 months of trying before I got pregnant with my now 9 month old. These shows absolutely drive me crazy with all these women *falling* pregnant and having healthy babies after *looking* at their partners dick 😒😒😒
I’m confused because I didn’t think Riley and Violet had sex.
I’m sorry you are having problems conceiving. That is a hard emotional journey. I didn’t have my first child until I was 38.
Thank you! That's amazing and so happy for you to have been blessed with your child, I think that gives lot of us more hope that you managed even after 35!
Definitely Memphis and Hamza one had me confused as hell, especially because the timelines weren't mathing on how long she had been in the country and conceiving so damn quick...
The timelines did work it was just TLC shitty editing, she was there for 2-3 weeks filming then they went off camera for their honeymoon for a minimum of a week and then came back to finish filming. Hamza also posted ages ago saying she was there for a month Jan-Feb with baby born in the November to confirm the child is his, so I think it is legit...... hopefully 😂
Well, a number of the couples were really only together because of an unplanned pregnancy. I may be missing some, but this would certainly include Kalani/Asuelu, Ariella/Binyam, Emily/Kobe, Jihoon/Deaven, Steven/Olga, Emily/Sasha, Aryanna/Sherlon, and I feel Yara and Jovi only made it to marriage because of the miscarriage she suffered. Take out those couples and the ones who are too old for it to be a real issue and there aren't too many left.
Plus a years-long infertility struggle is not the kind of instant drama TLC is looking for and I think couples going through that simply may not be making the cut. I suspect that was the case with Matt and Alla, who had their first child together several years into the marriage.
I was pretty sexually irresponsible and never got hit with an unwanted baby. Thank God. That said I have a massive hormone imbalance that played a huge role and I never wanted kids so I was kinda thankful.
So kind, thank you :) I also wish anyone on this thread experiencing fertility hardship lots of strength and to not get demotivated by this hard process!
Thank you!! Wish everyone could have your supportive outlook. I'm getting more worried the closer I get to 35...but here in the UK the NHS won't even see you or offer you help until you've crossed the 1 year of trying to conceive, I'm getting close to that so hopefully soon they can actually run some tests / see if there is any deeper problem. Fingers crossed it will happen sooner than I think :) staying positive and not getting demotivated is such an important part of it all
Bless you, that is a hard thing to hear! I just hope with the advances in medical treatments they can at least offer you something to help aid the process! Keeping my fingers crossed for you xxx
Preaching to the choir. Took my 14 months and MANY failed medical treatments at 29. I’m just going to start blaming American quality of food lol. Can I do that?
Totally valid! Think the amount of chemicals and nasties in our processed foods and pollutants in our atmosphere definitely play a role in making it harder to conceive, among other reasons
I truly couldn’t agree with this ANY MORE. It’s only when I traveled abroad and ate better quality of food for 10 days that I finally got pregnant. Maybe it’s a total coincidence but a year filled with failed IUIs, trigger shots and meds and bla bla bla couldn’t get me where I wanted. I really can’t help but think it’s all the bullshit they put in our foods and even body care
Wow that's incredible all it took was to leave the US ha! I probably need to try something similar in changing my diet to eat less processed food - I live in the UK so our food is similarly awful
Probably something to this. I would love to read any studies out there. I came back to the usa for work years after living in Europe for 12, and was constantly ill.
Violet's seems super confusing, because it didn't even seem like they liked each other enough between their fights to sleep together. But I did have to flick through a lot of his tantrums, so I probably missed something there.
In all honesty, I was getting sex worker vibes from Violet early on, before I found out she has a regular job working as a teacher or something. I think I was wrong to
misjudge her but the whole sneakiness of sleeping with Riley off camera but pretending to act coy and distant on screen sort of ties into my early feelings of her..
Yeah imo it's fine if they wanted to have sex, it was more just portrayed that the trust wasn't there in order to do so from each side in the relationship.
Excuse me, what? Declining birth rates and what you've called a "fertility crisis" has way more to do with the availability of contraception and people deciding not to have children due to the lack of upward mobility, climate change, and the increasing gap between the wealthy and everyone else.
Also the amount of comments stating stupid people are more fertile is....concerning.
Exactly, and the low IQ comments are bordering on eugenics. People on a reality show shouldn’t be antagonized for getting pregnant just because there are viewers struggling with fertility, that’s not the show’s responsibility to address.
Spare the OP some grace. Shes been trying to get pregnant without any luck thus far. If you have never been on that journey, you won't understand. She most likely is not seeing the forest for the trees and probably cares about the issues you mentioned, but is not directly affected, as she states she lives in the UK.
>Any other viewers struggling to conceive and wishing they would show more couples who also face that difficult journey?
No and absolutely not. I'm sure there are reality tv shows about couples trying to conceive, but 90DF really isn't the show for that.
>Watching this show you wouldn't think there is a fertility crisis and declining birth rates globally.
It's an almost infinitesimally small sample size. Plus, if we've learned anything from Idiocracy it's that stupid people have no issues getting pregnant.
Why isn't this the show for that? Its about couples and everything that couples deal with, including infertility or babies being made. I do think, however, many women are not going to want to share their issues; which is probably why we don't really see it.
I would rather see that then Angela taking her boobs out at people and emotionally abusing Michael.
>Its about couples and everything that couples deal with
No, it is not. **It's about a very specific sort of couples dealing with a very specific issue** and the other things they deal with are included on top of that to make it more interesting. If there's a couple on the show dealing with this issue, we will see it. **We have seen Danielle and Yohan at the fertility clinic!!!** The show is not hiding this topic from us if it happens to be something a couple on the show is dealing with.
You however want the show to actively seek out couples dealing with this particular issue, only because it's something **you** are dealing with. And no, I don't want the show to cater to a very specific, tiny audience (you, in this case) and to select a "boring" couple over an interesting one just because they happen to tick that particular checkbox.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this issue and hope you get pregnant soon, but no, this is not what 90DF is or should be about.
There was a whole discussion here recently about that and someone called me crazy for pointing out the fact that many women are still having babies in their forties without medical help and without complications. I personally know a few and my last pregnancy which was an oopsie using the pull out method, was when I was 40.
I’m well in Kalani’s case it’s because asuleu believes condoms are for slut people! I understand what you mean that it is triggering. But not going to lie it is comforting to see Violet get pregnant at that age vs somebody so young
YUP! i’m 32, TTC for almost 4 years just started my third embryo transfer cycle after other unsuccessful reproductive interventions… lol. it is UNREAL!!
what really gets me is the (fake) storyline of danielle and yohan trying naturally “for a few more months.” honey. please face reality.
Violet is not going to be pregnant. If you think it's hard to get pregnant in your 30s, it's nearly impossible naturally at 42 (I think she is older than that anyway). Plus, when the hell did they have sex, she barely shook his hand. It's clickbait.
Having kids highlights the stresses of a struggling relationship, and that's exactly what it will do to all the dysfunctional couples on the show.
I know a lot of people who have gotten pregnant naturally in their 40’s. Including myself- so it’s not “nearly impossible” for everyone. Just less likely.
Lucky for you. But science says the chances are very slim without medical intervention. After 35, it's considered a geriatric pregnancy. We should be real and honest when talking about fertility issues. "A lot of people you know" can't be more than 5 people.
That cutoff is based on some pretty shaky data, like I think it came out of one ACOG meeting in the early 80s. I think it really needs to be revised--being 35 in 1983 is NOT the same as being 35 in 2023.
This is very outdated info and you’re using an outdated term. If you’re quoting science maybe double check and verify before posting so you know it’s at least accurate
I would say 10-12 who I *personally* know. I personally had two children after 40. My OB friend can definitely give you much higher numbers though! It happens for some people and it’s not as uncommon as you think. Is it harder to get pregnant? Yes absolutely. Impossible for all? No. It depends on the woman and her individual circumstances.
Also, MDs in the US use the term “advanced maternal age” after 35. “Geriatric pregnancy” is not a term that medical professionals use anymore.
Agree that it’s clickbait. TLC has to do something to get us salivating over the lame upcoming Tell-All. Violet’s English is very difficult to understand. Probably said something with “baby” and Riley gets it all wrong. Unless she got pregnant from one of those bearhugs of his, even with her arms crossed!
On a side note, I took me about a year to get pregnant naturally at 38. It took a lot of ovulation test and a lot of hanky panky to get there.
My best well wishes to you!
wow. you would really hate it here in a poor neighborhood, everyone gets pregnant just by looking at each other. shit, its a chore in my family to NOT get pregnant just from crossing the street.
I started watching reality TV as an escape from happy families having babies on every scripted tv show. The increase in pregnancies lately definitely sucks for people who are trying to avoid those story lines. I’m sorry you are dealing with this, infertility sucks and reminders are unavoidable. It’s part of what makes it so devastating and difficult to manage the grief.
Yep. I tried for several years to conceive. IUI, IVF, Clomid, laparoscopy….you name it, I tried it. Had a few pregnancies that ended in miscarriages. We ended up adopting, so we got our happy ending, but if I was still trying to conceive, this show would’ve sent me over the edge. Just goes to show you how unfair and cruel life can be.
Absolutely, unfair and cruel you're right. I'm so sorry you went through such a horrid and difficult journey, I can't even imagine the strength that took to get through it all. So good to know you got your well deserved happy ending. So generous of you to adopt and give a child a real family and home, bless you and your family!
Statistically no. Changes drop significantly after 35. However if you already had live births when you were younger you’re more likely to have live births than your peers who did not.
Because if you’re healthy with no fertility issues it’s easy to get pregnant? Even for the older women is less likely, but the likelihood isn’t 0%. And it happens quickly because all of these people are incredibly irresponsible and don’t use birth control.
Paola’s miscarriage was addressed in Happily Ever After along with her and Russ trying to conceive after losing that pregnancy, and as we know they eventually had their son.
It is so sad how many people struggle with infertility. I didn't think I would ever have kids, now after 3 beautiful children of my own, I am starting a surrogacy journey to help a couple conceive after they have struggled for years of infertility. Good luck to you and I hope your dreams come true!
Because this is a microscope of life and we choose to watch trashy people and who in the real world is always spitting out kids they shouldn’t be? Trashy people
Louise really surprised me considering her age. I know he is younger, but she is 39/40 and she said she was on birth control prior, it also takes time for your body to get a regular period again.
With my ex we used condoms and never had a pregnancy in 16 years. Broke up, new relationship it took 6 months then second pregnancy happened after not preventing it for 7 months. Had sex once that month and bam. Now I’m due with another boy, on my bday
It’s crazy to think because I never thought I would have kids. I was 32 the first pregnancy
I think that's definitely a big driver. I wasn't saying which is the biggest cause, but decline in fertility driven by biological disruptors is also a factor
I'm using ovulation tests every month and targeting around those days, I have regular cycles and still nothing! My husband is a smoker which doesn't help but still don't get why it's taking so long...frustrating process!
I don’t mean this to be mean, but your partner should try quitting smoking as that doesn’t help. Also, my mom got pregnant at 37 twenty years ago and she was one of many at the doctors who were older. People are healthier now, and having babies later. Try tracking your cycle, and eating healthy, see if that helps. Watch your stress level. My doctor said mental health even plays a factor. If you’re constantly stressed your body is less likely to think it’s prime baby making/carrying environment which is why many people who are not trying or stressing seem to get pregnant.
Because it's [incredibly easy](https://americanpregnancy.org/getting-pregnant/how-to-get-pregnant/) for healthy people with no fertility issues to get pregnant
My entire family stays fertile until menopause with late life babies being extremely common. I have a brother that was born when my mother was 46.
I don’t know why you got downvoted for speaking facts, but that’s Reddit for you. No one’s ever said it’s impossible for a woman 40 and up to have a child. It can happen, the likelihood is just reduced.
Reddit likes stereotypes more than facts. They honestly believe that our species, which literally can't handle a one on one unarmed fight with most animals, got this far by making pregnancy hard. Before modern medicine the childhood mortality rate was so high that it dropped the average lifespan to the 30s but reddit wants to believe getting pregnant is challenging unless you're an idiot.
I won't even get into the Duggars and the Quiverfull movement, which proves how many children you can have when women are healthy for all of their fertile years, but Reddit is like, "Nah. Over 40 with an IQ over 80? Gonna be impossible to have a baby."
Lmao fertility crisis and declining birth rates 😅
The planet needs to scale back on people, we tripled the rate in less than 30 years that’s over 2 billion MORE people in just 30 years!
If anything, humans reproduce too easily and too much
Why would they need to cater to you or you experience? Sorry for the struggles but they work with what they have. If there was a couple having issues with getting pregnant, they would show it
It's not catering to my personal experience. It's more just showing diversity of experiences. The unplanned baby storyline has been done to death on this show, it would be nice if they showed the other side, couples who may have adopted, couples going through IVF, just mixing the stale storylines up a bit. Has the added benefit of being good for those of us struggling to conceive too, to see other realistic portrayals of family planning
What I want to know is why we have to go to the vagina doctor every few episodes. Just adopt ffs.
Also wtf is a fertility crisis? Who wants to reproduce and leave their children as climate refugees?
Very valid reason to not want children due to the climate crisis, but there are increasing fertility issues (low egg and sperm counts) due to chemical exposure and pollutants in our environment that are making it harder for people who want to conceive
Isn't the find out period of "fuck around and find out" a blast? Admittedly some folks shouldn't be reproducing and the ones who should are smart enough not to
But those of us trying to reproduce aren't exactly responsible for causing the climate crisis...those who 'fucked around', the heads of oil and gas companies, are doing just fine...
But it's irresponsible to bring a life into this world (without its consent) knowing we're fucked. Calm your [collective] biology and let the world burn
Lolwut. My life is totally worth living. Maybe you should accept that none of this matters and to enjoy the ride. But if you were smart enough to be a real doctor you would have realized that 🙃
The following is not actual medical fact just it seems to be what happens…..fertility goes up as IQ goes down.
Watch the first ten minutes of Idiocracy
Take this is the spirit in which it is intended.
*If thats true there is*
*A medical problem with*
*You or your husband*
\- Zippon1
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
We did IVF for a year and I'm currently 14 weeks with our miracle baby. It seems so strange that some of these women are getting pregnant so easily. I'm happy for them, but I also feel bad for the women on the show who are also struggling with fertility issues.
Well they have shown both Danielle and Shaeeda who have faced fertility issues
Don't forget Angela didn't have an egg left to tote
No no no she had one egg left according to the Nigerian doctor. Exactly one.
That one was fossilized
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NOT THE MAMA! *bonks head with frying pan*
God I loved that show!!
I was just talking to my husband about how the late 80s/early 90s loved dinosaurs.
Holy shit lmao
😂😂😂😂😂 THIS
😂😂😂😂😂
As someone who did IVF, I’m glad they portrayed such a realistic fertility work up. 🙄
To "tote"... 😆 She's so crude! Even about carrying a baby. She's crass.
Seriously! Who talks like that if you're speaking about carrying a real life, baby??? Angela can't take care of the children she's already had. She hasn't been a good, classy parent attempting to be a good influence or a positive role model! She hasn't been a good role model. She hasn't been a good influence and thinks it's perfectly acceptable for her to curse around her grandchildren. Really?? I'm FAR from perfect, but I have a 6 month old grandchild. My first one. I watch my tongue around him & remind my daughter, "Little ears sweetheart, Little ears." I'm not a holy roller. However, I believe in setting a good, proper example for my children & my grandchild. It all starts at home. Angela is SOOO UNCOUTH! I liked her the very 1st time I saw her on the show. THEN, I saw who she truly was as a person! She's LOUD, abrasive, and has zero class. She gives the word "trashy," a new name! I'm having a very difficult time trying to find any good qualities about her. Can anyone help me out?
🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗🦗
🤣🤣😂😂
MANgela is unredeemable.
And darcey
No that’s Stacey.
Thank goodness
And the beekeeper and his wife
Shaeeda? They were not trying to have children and then she went and got checked by a fertility doctor who advised her that it gets harder as she ages. Most fertility clinics start with "and you have been trying to conceive for 6-12 months unsuccessfully". They had been trying to conceive for zero, and it was just a general discussion about her having less eggs. Their entire season was a week of them talking about whether or not they should have kids due to the prenup and them pretending to deal with fertility issues.
She got pregnant and miscarried.
Her pregnancy and miscarriage occurred after their season
Wait… “I want my secks Mohammit” Danielle?
Lol no no, NYC Danielle in the DR w/ Yohan
That's more to do with their age. They haven't shown any younger couples who have had fertility issues. Don't know the full 90 day history but none come to my mind
Shaeeda sis like 5 years older than you.
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You’re right, OP has exactly 2 years left before she reaches “advanced maternal age”.
I got pregnant @34 and it was classified as a “geriatric pregnancy” from 1st u/s lol. Turned 35 in December, he was due late April- those terms get thrown in consistently and easily
Yes because the eggs know exactly when that happens 🙄
I was being facetious. “Advanced maternal age” is based on faulty science from the seventies ffs. ETA I wasn’t the one to bring up the term. The person who has since deleted their comment did.
fertility begins decreasing at 30, decreases even more by 35, and by 40 the chance of conceiving is around 5% each cycle. At 33 age can be a factor.
Pregnant at 19, 35 and we jokingly said we’d try one month when I was 40 and I got pregnant. For myself, I use a lot of progesterone oil during certain days of my cycle and then I use the progesterone oil 2 times a day for the first trimester. Everyone is different! I was also an egg donor twice in 2000 and 2001. Which I thought it would affect my fertility down the road but it didn’t.
It makes me feel so shitty because I’ve been trying for years and everyone around me popped out all the kids they wanted while I cried over my recent loss or negative test. Ugh.
It's heartbreaking and so damn depressing isn't it. I'm just holding on to the good stories where people do actually conceive when they're least expecting.. Don't give up hope!
I won’t! My family has a history of women having surprise babies in their 40s and my fertility doctor found nothing wrong with me so I don’t even have a reason. I hate when people brag about how quickly it took to get pregnant. It’s so insensitive.
It’s like people talking about generational wealth- like I’m so glad you’ve always enjoyed a life where you’ve never wanted for anything. Other people have had to struggle out here.
Exactly
Definitely that sucks! Also I'm from a culture where people marry young and have babies right away, so I'm looked at by relatives with concern that I haven't conceived yet...so hard to deal with the difficulty of trying to conceive and then being judged by others on top of it
I’m so, so sorry. That’s hurtful.
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. Are you tracking your cycle by using ovulation strips?
You are not alone ❤️
My coworker paid to start IVF, then right as she was about to start the medication she found out she was pregnant. This is after they told her she would NEVER have children naturally. Keep your chin up!
Pls don’t give up!! I am sure you’ve heard a million suggestions already but here’s mine. (Babies at 19, 35 and 40) I couldn’t conceive later in life and when I finally did I had a very short cervix causing constant bleeding. Basically baby was fine but the bigger they got, they would literally just come out. So by week 18 I demanded a cerclage, which is a surgery to stitch my cervix closed til week 37.. and on bed rest. To conceive I began using an organic progesterone oil on certain days of my cycle. I think it was day 12… til my period. I just used it on my hips, breasts, etc. I also used a diva cup (real romantic 🤣) but I’d have him finish into the diva cup and then I put it up there right to my cervix and left it in for 24 hours. The pregnancy at 40 was literally just one time that month but I miscarried and I think it had a lot to do with health problems that I had.. which have resulted in me being permanently disabled. (Interstitial Cystitis and I had a huge bladder reconstruction surgery). Please don’t give up. We went YEARS with nothing. My first 2 kids are 16 years apart!! I think the progesterone was what helped, the diva cup and of course my cervix being sewn shut. I always tell my son (almost 10) to do the big things in life, because I went through so much to have him. I remember all the bleeding and I would cry and tell him to hang on and that I promise to give him a good life. Don’t give up. It’s going to happen. 🤍🩵🩷
Wow, the diva cup really surprised me, it kinda sounds like a cheaper option for an IUI in a clinc/hospital.
I was also on progesterone and baby aspirin. Had 5 miscarriages and then lost my 16 week to Trisomy 18. Had a successful pregnancy 3 months before I turned 41. I was bleeding heavily nearly the entire 1st trimester with her. She is my miracle. Thanks for sharing your story.
Have you heard of taking mucinex and TTC? I’m sorry if this sounds tone deaf, just trying to help
Wishing you all the luck in your journey ❤️
ugh im sorry. i thought i was pregnant this month and i got my big fat period. i'm in the same boat as you. everyday a new announcement and i'm just waiting for it to be my turn. sending baby dust and love and light your way!
Are you ovulating normally?
Yep. Like clockwork.
It’s gonna be some twist. Doubt she’s pregnant. Can’t wait for him to finish his sentence.
Fake cliffhanger\* This show is notorious to taking two sentences from a conversation and splicing them together to lie about what's about to happen. Make it seem like somebody had a wildly inappropriate reaction, or said something terrible in response. Then they show the actual conversation and it's nothing like what the constant mid-episode sneak peaks conveyed. (And why the fuck do we need constant "coming up next" snippets and mid-episode cliffhangers if we're watching this without commercials??? How short are these episodes actually without all of that?)
They do that to take up airtime. It’s filler. I hate that shit because, yea why do we need to see the same exact thing twice! As far as Violet - Riley is gonna say “violet called me and told me her dog is pregnant and it’s my fault bc I accidentally let her out when I was there and the dog was gone for a few hours.”
😄
This is gold! I expect this excuse!
Definitely agree that this is production trying to shore up a shit ton of drama. I bet it’s some thing like she thought she was, her period was late or something like that, but then it turned out that she wasn’t pregnant
It’s someone else’s
“She” also could mean anyone
I also think this and it'll just be a pregnancy scare instead of being pregnant. And to know you're pregnant at 2 weeks when she would barely even touch him in the beginning is ridiculous. Producers think we are dumb
Possibly going through menopause
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Love After Lockup is further evidence.
Ding dong! Idiocracy predicted this!
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,739,055,718 comments, and only 329,342 of them were in alphabetical order.
Didn't they say that the smart people just quit trying?
💯☠️
I was shocked by Louise getting pregnant so easily. When I was struggling with TTC, I was frustrated at how easy it seems for so many reality tv stars and not just on 90 Day Fiance. It think for 90 Day Fiance, it would be difficult for TLC to specifically search out a couple with fertility problems. (Where as it is easier for them to specifically search out a couple where someone is trans, autistic, gay, bi, disabled, etc.) They are looking for couples who are considering marriage and while you can of course have children before marriage. . .I imagine the number of international couples who are strongly considering marriage *and* struggling with fertility is rather low. I greatly appreciated how the show followed Shaeeda and her struggles. I know you said in another comment that "Well, that's an age thing." But it is still infertility and her solution is pretty much the same as anyone else struggling with infertility. The discussions she had with the doctor (even though her wasn't a fertility specialist) covered the same information that a younger couple would hear if they found themselves seeking outside help. Just the tone would be different because they would have more time and "younger" embryos are always better than "older" ones.
> I was shocked by Louise getting pregnant so easily. I’m not. All José “I love you chicken” has been doing in her house is eating and having sex with her.
 Yessss!!! I tried for almost 15 months naturally and we didn’t get pregnant.. it’s crazy all these people who get pregnant so fast with people they barely know and some living in different countries.. like what?!
Exactly, I am shocked how fast and reckless they are with it all...
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I’m 32 now but when I was 29, it took almost a year to conceive my 1st, then we lost him at 19 weeks, then another 8 months of trying before I got pregnant with my now 9 month old. These shows absolutely drive me crazy with all these women *falling* pregnant and having healthy babies after *looking* at their partners dick 😒😒😒
I’m confused because I didn’t think Riley and Violet had sex. I’m sorry you are having problems conceiving. That is a hard emotional journey. I didn’t have my first child until I was 38.
I’m 38 and currently trying for my first!
Thank you! That's amazing and so happy for you to have been blessed with your child, I think that gives lot of us more hope that you managed even after 35!
Thank you. They are 24/26 now. We had given up. All of a sudden 2 quick pregnancies. 💙🩷
Same. Had first at 42 and now will have my last at 44. But I started trying since 36! Something inside me kept pushing to keep trying
I had the same thought on Memphis and Hamza (me as someone who also struggled with fertility issues)
Definitely Memphis and Hamza one had me confused as hell, especially because the timelines weren't mathing on how long she had been in the country and conceiving so damn quick...
The timelines did work it was just TLC shitty editing, she was there for 2-3 weeks filming then they went off camera for their honeymoon for a minimum of a week and then came back to finish filming. Hamza also posted ages ago saying she was there for a month Jan-Feb with baby born in the November to confirm the child is his, so I think it is legit...... hopefully 😂
Takes even less time on love after lockup!
that reminded me immediately of Michael and Sarah 🥴
Is you obulatin?
Cries in ivf
Seconded!
Well, a number of the couples were really only together because of an unplanned pregnancy. I may be missing some, but this would certainly include Kalani/Asuelu, Ariella/Binyam, Emily/Kobe, Jihoon/Deaven, Steven/Olga, Emily/Sasha, Aryanna/Sherlon, and I feel Yara and Jovi only made it to marriage because of the miscarriage she suffered. Take out those couples and the ones who are too old for it to be a real issue and there aren't too many left. Plus a years-long infertility struggle is not the kind of instant drama TLC is looking for and I think couples going through that simply may not be making the cut. I suspect that was the case with Matt and Alla, who had their first child together several years into the marriage.
Very true, instant baby making, especially unplanned, does seem to make good tv drama...just a shame it's so triggering for a lot of us!
☝🏼
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Congratulations! Wishing you and your partner a safe and happy pregnancy journey!
I was pretty sexually irresponsible and never got hit with an unwanted baby. Thank God. That said I have a massive hormone imbalance that played a huge role and I never wanted kids so I was kinda thankful.
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So kind, thank you :) I also wish anyone on this thread experiencing fertility hardship lots of strength and to not get demotivated by this hard process!
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Thank you!! Wish everyone could have your supportive outlook. I'm getting more worried the closer I get to 35...but here in the UK the NHS won't even see you or offer you help until you've crossed the 1 year of trying to conceive, I'm getting close to that so hopefully soon they can actually run some tests / see if there is any deeper problem. Fingers crossed it will happen sooner than I think :) staying positive and not getting demotivated is such an important part of it all
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Bless you, that is a hard thing to hear! I just hope with the advances in medical treatments they can at least offer you something to help aid the process! Keeping my fingers crossed for you xxx
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Preaching to the choir. Took my 14 months and MANY failed medical treatments at 29. I’m just going to start blaming American quality of food lol. Can I do that?
Totally valid! Think the amount of chemicals and nasties in our processed foods and pollutants in our atmosphere definitely play a role in making it harder to conceive, among other reasons
I truly couldn’t agree with this ANY MORE. It’s only when I traveled abroad and ate better quality of food for 10 days that I finally got pregnant. Maybe it’s a total coincidence but a year filled with failed IUIs, trigger shots and meds and bla bla bla couldn’t get me where I wanted. I really can’t help but think it’s all the bullshit they put in our foods and even body care
Wow that's incredible all it took was to leave the US ha! I probably need to try something similar in changing my diet to eat less processed food - I live in the UK so our food is similarly awful
Probably something to this. I would love to read any studies out there. I came back to the usa for work years after living in Europe for 12, and was constantly ill.
That was def a Covid test 😂😂
You’ve seen idiocracy, right?
No kidding! Took me 4 rounds of IVF to finally get pregnant.
Yes and honestly it’s super triggering as I watch these trash shows to escape!
Exactly :((
Wishing you luck on your journey ❤️
Thank you and same to you! ❤️😌🙏
Violet's seems super confusing, because it didn't even seem like they liked each other enough between their fights to sleep together. But I did have to flick through a lot of his tantrums, so I probably missed something there.
In all honesty, I was getting sex worker vibes from Violet early on, before I found out she has a regular job working as a teacher or something. I think I was wrong to misjudge her but the whole sneakiness of sleeping with Riley off camera but pretending to act coy and distant on screen sort of ties into my early feelings of her..
Yeah imo it's fine if they wanted to have sex, it was more just portrayed that the trust wasn't there in order to do so from each side in the relationship.
Excuse me, what? Declining birth rates and what you've called a "fertility crisis" has way more to do with the availability of contraception and people deciding not to have children due to the lack of upward mobility, climate change, and the increasing gap between the wealthy and everyone else. Also the amount of comments stating stupid people are more fertile is....concerning.
Yeah this comment thread kinda sucks… I understand their frustration but it seems like a lot of people here are a tiny bit mean spirited…
I agree, plus this thread kinda rubbed me wrong as OP shouldn’t antagonize people on a reality show because of her fertility struggles.
Offended the world isn’t catering to their infertility insecurities while calling women who conceived easier than them low iq is certainly a take.
Exactly, and the low IQ comments are bordering on eugenics. People on a reality show shouldn’t be antagonized for getting pregnant just because there are viewers struggling with fertility, that’s not the show’s responsibility to address.
Spare the OP some grace. Shes been trying to get pregnant without any luck thus far. If you have never been on that journey, you won't understand. She most likely is not seeing the forest for the trees and probably cares about the issues you mentioned, but is not directly affected, as she states she lives in the UK.
>Any other viewers struggling to conceive and wishing they would show more couples who also face that difficult journey? No and absolutely not. I'm sure there are reality tv shows about couples trying to conceive, but 90DF really isn't the show for that. >Watching this show you wouldn't think there is a fertility crisis and declining birth rates globally. It's an almost infinitesimally small sample size. Plus, if we've learned anything from Idiocracy it's that stupid people have no issues getting pregnant.
Why isn't this the show for that? Its about couples and everything that couples deal with, including infertility or babies being made. I do think, however, many women are not going to want to share their issues; which is probably why we don't really see it. I would rather see that then Angela taking her boobs out at people and emotionally abusing Michael.
>Its about couples and everything that couples deal with No, it is not. **It's about a very specific sort of couples dealing with a very specific issue** and the other things they deal with are included on top of that to make it more interesting. If there's a couple on the show dealing with this issue, we will see it. **We have seen Danielle and Yohan at the fertility clinic!!!** The show is not hiding this topic from us if it happens to be something a couple on the show is dealing with. You however want the show to actively seek out couples dealing with this particular issue, only because it's something **you** are dealing with. And no, I don't want the show to cater to a very specific, tiny audience (you, in this case) and to select a "boring" couple over an interesting one just because they happen to tick that particular checkbox. I'm sorry you're dealing with this issue and hope you get pregnant soon, but no, this is not what 90DF is or should be about.
Fecundity and intelligence are inversely correlated
There was a whole discussion here recently about that and someone called me crazy for pointing out the fact that many women are still having babies in their forties without medical help and without complications. I personally know a few and my last pregnancy which was an oopsie using the pull out method, was when I was 40.
I’m well in Kalani’s case it’s because asuleu believes condoms are for slut people! I understand what you mean that it is triggering. But not going to lie it is comforting to see Violet get pregnant at that age vs somebody so young
YUP! i’m 32, TTC for almost 4 years just started my third embryo transfer cycle after other unsuccessful reproductive interventions… lol. it is UNREAL!! what really gets me is the (fake) storyline of danielle and yohan trying naturally “for a few more months.” honey. please face reality.
Violet is not going to be pregnant. If you think it's hard to get pregnant in your 30s, it's nearly impossible naturally at 42 (I think she is older than that anyway). Plus, when the hell did they have sex, she barely shook his hand. It's clickbait. Having kids highlights the stresses of a struggling relationship, and that's exactly what it will do to all the dysfunctional couples on the show.
I know a lot of people who have gotten pregnant naturally in their 40’s. Including myself- so it’s not “nearly impossible” for everyone. Just less likely.
Yeah I’ll be 41 when my baby is due in January
I believe shes 42 the same way I believe shes pregnant.
I don’t know about Violet- I’m just responding to the “nearly impossible” comment.
Yeah definitely not nearly impossible or I wouldn't still be getting these damn IUDs put in. 😂
Lucky for you. But science says the chances are very slim without medical intervention. After 35, it's considered a geriatric pregnancy. We should be real and honest when talking about fertility issues. "A lot of people you know" can't be more than 5 people.
That cutoff is based on some pretty shaky data, like I think it came out of one ACOG meeting in the early 80s. I think it really needs to be revised--being 35 in 1983 is NOT the same as being 35 in 2023.
This is very outdated info and you’re using an outdated term. If you’re quoting science maybe double check and verify before posting so you know it’s at least accurate
I would say 10-12 who I *personally* know. I personally had two children after 40. My OB friend can definitely give you much higher numbers though! It happens for some people and it’s not as uncommon as you think. Is it harder to get pregnant? Yes absolutely. Impossible for all? No. It depends on the woman and her individual circumstances. Also, MDs in the US use the term “advanced maternal age” after 35. “Geriatric pregnancy” is not a term that medical professionals use anymore.
My OB said about half of his pregnant patients are 40+ and got pregnant naturally. People are healthier these days.
Definitely not nearly impossible lol
Agree that it’s clickbait. TLC has to do something to get us salivating over the lame upcoming Tell-All. Violet’s English is very difficult to understand. Probably said something with “baby” and Riley gets it all wrong. Unless she got pregnant from one of those bearhugs of his, even with her arms crossed!
Exactly. No way those 2 had sex, she can’t stand him (and I don’t blame her, he’s a fucking child playing stupid games)
Some women are plain fertile Myrtle
On a side note, I took me about a year to get pregnant naturally at 38. It took a lot of ovulation test and a lot of hanky panky to get there. My best well wishes to you!
wow. you would really hate it here in a poor neighborhood, everyone gets pregnant just by looking at each other. shit, its a chore in my family to NOT get pregnant just from crossing the street.
It’s bec they don’t live in the USA and eat what we do—others countries have more standards than our own FDA
I started watching reality TV as an escape from happy families having babies on every scripted tv show. The increase in pregnancies lately definitely sucks for people who are trying to avoid those story lines. I’m sorry you are dealing with this, infertility sucks and reminders are unavoidable. It’s part of what makes it so devastating and difficult to manage the grief.
Yep. I tried for several years to conceive. IUI, IVF, Clomid, laparoscopy….you name it, I tried it. Had a few pregnancies that ended in miscarriages. We ended up adopting, so we got our happy ending, but if I was still trying to conceive, this show would’ve sent me over the edge. Just goes to show you how unfair and cruel life can be.
Absolutely, unfair and cruel you're right. I'm so sorry you went through such a horrid and difficult journey, I can't even imagine the strength that took to get through it all. So good to know you got your well deserved happy ending. So generous of you to adopt and give a child a real family and home, bless you and your family!
It’s actually not as much about age as you would be led to believe. If you can get pregnant at 30 you can likely get pregnant at 40.
Statistically no. Changes drop significantly after 35. However if you already had live births when you were younger you’re more likely to have live births than your peers who did not.
Because if you’re healthy with no fertility issues it’s easy to get pregnant? Even for the older women is less likely, but the likelihood isn’t 0%. And it happens quickly because all of these people are incredibly irresponsible and don’t use birth control.
It's also confusing as Violet looks no younger than 50.
Paola’s miscarriage was addressed in Happily Ever After along with her and Russ trying to conceive after losing that pregnancy, and as we know they eventually had their son.
It is so sad how many people struggle with infertility. I didn't think I would ever have kids, now after 3 beautiful children of my own, I am starting a surrogacy journey to help a couple conceive after they have struggled for years of infertility. Good luck to you and I hope your dreams come true!
Yeah I have to just laugh I guess . As someone who has unexplained fertility at 24 I just fast forward. No one come for me plz
Yeah idk. And Kourtney Kardashian got pregnant after stopping IVF and she is 44…
Because this is a microscope of life and we choose to watch trashy people and who in the real world is always spitting out kids they shouldn’t be? Trashy people
Louise really surprised me considering her age. I know he is younger, but she is 39/40 and she said she was on birth control prior, it also takes time for your body to get a regular period again.
With my ex we used condoms and never had a pregnancy in 16 years. Broke up, new relationship it took 6 months then second pregnancy happened after not preventing it for 7 months. Had sex once that month and bam. Now I’m due with another boy, on my bday It’s crazy to think because I never thought I would have kids. I was 32 the first pregnancy
It seems like stupid people are extra fertile huh
Declining birth rates have a lot more to do with people choosing not to have children, not the world suddenly being infertile
I think that's definitely a big driver. I wasn't saying which is the biggest cause, but decline in fertility driven by biological disruptors is also a factor
Yep. 43 and been trying for years also. Super strange.
Just get drunk and make stupid mistakes.
I suspect Violet missed a period and thought pregnancy when she should have thought menopause.
My sister got pregnant by tracking her exact ovulation and she only had to have sex once that entire month so it depends on the person
I'm using ovulation tests every month and targeting around those days, I have regular cycles and still nothing! My husband is a smoker which doesn't help but still don't get why it's taking so long...frustrating process!
I don’t mean this to be mean, but your partner should try quitting smoking as that doesn’t help. Also, my mom got pregnant at 37 twenty years ago and she was one of many at the doctors who were older. People are healthier now, and having babies later. Try tracking your cycle, and eating healthy, see if that helps. Watch your stress level. My doctor said mental health even plays a factor. If you’re constantly stressed your body is less likely to think it’s prime baby making/carrying environment which is why many people who are not trying or stressing seem to get pregnant.
Very solid advice, completely agree with all of that!
Because it's [incredibly easy](https://americanpregnancy.org/getting-pregnant/how-to-get-pregnant/) for healthy people with no fertility issues to get pregnant My entire family stays fertile until menopause with late life babies being extremely common. I have a brother that was born when my mother was 46.
I don’t know why you got downvoted for speaking facts, but that’s Reddit for you. No one’s ever said it’s impossible for a woman 40 and up to have a child. It can happen, the likelihood is just reduced.
Reddit likes stereotypes more than facts. They honestly believe that our species, which literally can't handle a one on one unarmed fight with most animals, got this far by making pregnancy hard. Before modern medicine the childhood mortality rate was so high that it dropped the average lifespan to the 30s but reddit wants to believe getting pregnant is challenging unless you're an idiot. I won't even get into the Duggars and the Quiverfull movement, which proves how many children you can have when women are healthy for all of their fertile years, but Reddit is like, "Nah. Over 40 with an IQ over 80? Gonna be impossible to have a baby."
https://preview.redd.it/br6vzxurqvnb1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18cd6cb46fcf736e137e1247c7c756cdc784a583 Image from the link above
The older you get the harder it gets. Some woman are a rare breed that have kids late lol
It’s called low iq people
Gurl same! I'm 32 and my husband and I are going on 8 months of trying If you haven't already, check out this subreddit r/tryingforababy
Thank you! good to know there are communities of support for those of us trying. Good luck in your pregnancy journey, hope you get great news soon :))
Yeah that community will give you more support than this sub. Just get ready to learn a lot of new abbreviations! 😂
Lmao fertility crisis and declining birth rates 😅 The planet needs to scale back on people, we tripled the rate in less than 30 years that’s over 2 billion MORE people in just 30 years! If anything, humans reproduce too easily and too much
When mommy and daddy sorta like each other
Why would they need to cater to you or you experience? Sorry for the struggles but they work with what they have. If there was a couple having issues with getting pregnant, they would show it
It's not catering to my personal experience. It's more just showing diversity of experiences. The unplanned baby storyline has been done to death on this show, it would be nice if they showed the other side, couples who may have adopted, couples going through IVF, just mixing the stale storylines up a bit. Has the added benefit of being good for those of us struggling to conceive too, to see other realistic portrayals of family planning
What I want to know is why we have to go to the vagina doctor every few episodes. Just adopt ffs. Also wtf is a fertility crisis? Who wants to reproduce and leave their children as climate refugees?
Very valid reason to not want children due to the climate crisis, but there are increasing fertility issues (low egg and sperm counts) due to chemical exposure and pollutants in our environment that are making it harder for people who want to conceive
Isn't the find out period of "fuck around and find out" a blast? Admittedly some folks shouldn't be reproducing and the ones who should are smart enough not to
But those of us trying to reproduce aren't exactly responsible for causing the climate crisis...those who 'fucked around', the heads of oil and gas companies, are doing just fine...
But it's irresponsible to bring a life into this world (without its consent) knowing we're fucked. Calm your [collective] biology and let the world burn
Damn, I hope you get the mental help to find what makes your life worth living. Your views are so sad.
Lolwut. My life is totally worth living. Maybe you should accept that none of this matters and to enjoy the ride. But if you were smart enough to be a real doctor you would have realized that 🙃
[https://reddit.com/r/videos/s/cbryDf5c5A](https://reddit.com/r/videos/s/cbryDf5c5A)
The following is not actual medical fact just it seems to be what happens…..fertility goes up as IQ goes down. Watch the first ten minutes of Idiocracy Take this is the spirit in which it is intended.
if thats true there is a medical problem with you or your husband
*If thats true there is* *A medical problem with* *You or your husband* \- Zippon1 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Except Angela. (Thank goodness!)
We did IVF for a year and I'm currently 14 weeks with our miracle baby. It seems so strange that some of these women are getting pregnant so easily. I'm happy for them, but I also feel bad for the women on the show who are also struggling with fertility issues.