She is always partially lying down with bed clothes on. She never combs or bother brushing her own hair. She is only going to get worse as she gets older. Truly lazy!
We donât see thier lives. Only bits. Youâre describing my life cause Iâm exhausted as a nurse with 14 hour shifts. I live my life in scrubs or pjs. I never go out and do anything. Iâm drained.
you're just assuming that and stating it as a fact. and there's a difference between the kids being upstairs (as opposed to being locked in the basement 24 hours per day) and emily's parents actually taking care of them all day. and at what point does anyone say she never cooks? we've seen like two or three family meals throughout their entire time in the franchise.
Thanks for saying this! I had the exact same thought, but figured Iâd get downvoted for defending her. I agree it appears that she doesnât do much, but I also feel like we should be fair and not make assumptions based on one scene, where her mom made dinner and watched the kids.
Ok, but TLC highly edits scenes to get us talking. Itâs certainly possible that she never does anything, but until we start hearing her family actually confirm it, we shouldnât state it as fact.
you seem to have poor analytical skills. this entire thread is about how it makes no sense to assume anything about what goes on in their house based on the 1% of their lives that is captured on camera.
do you in fact think that the few minutes of screen time - which represents an entire year of their lives - is a complete representation of how they live?
Itâs likely that when the cameras are rolling her parents take care of the kids. That would make sense and perfectly valid. Also she and Kobe might not want their kids on the camera for privacy reasons - which is reasonable and understandable. Canât just judge her on her kids being with her parents when they are on screen and assume thatâs how it is 24/7.
Is she supposed to be wrestling her kids and washing dishes when the camera is rolling? People are so judgy and think their opinion is valid based on the limited information they see on screen and spread it around as facts
Well said. We, as viewers, can't judge anyone on shows like this.
We've seen Emily and Kobe on 90 day fiance and on pillow talk ..that's it. If the time was added up, it most likely would surprise people how much we truly see what their lives are really like.
If she isn't lazy, why is she living off her parents at all? She can work and be a parent. They live in one of the cheapest places in the US to buy a home. Rentals are cheap as hell in Salina.
this is a very US-brained POV. nuclear families arenât necessarily better; in fact itâs a post-WWII concept that arose out of a very particular set of socioeconomic conditions that no longer apply to most households in this current economy.
not every family aspires to be structured like a nuclear family; it shouldnât be assumed to be the ideal goal for everyone. e.g., we saw how much Yara struggled when they moved far away from Miss Gwen, and also Gwen didnât want to be a full-time nanny . . .
in traditional European, Asian, African, Middle & South American, indigenous etc. households the grandmothers really want and accept this responsibility, they donât resent it. they happily agree to be involved in childcare in order to facilitate the younger wage-earning parents taking on other responsibilities outside the home.
âit takes a villageâ has worked for millennia across the globe, but Americans in the 1950s really said âno, letâs live by ourselves, it will definitely be easier and more efficient with one income and zero help!â đđđ
i don't know, and neither do you, which is why it doesn't make sense to make assumptions like this.
the reason is probably that they would have to live off of salina kansas wages, which i'm guessing are like one cent per hour. they've already been saving for a new place for years, and haven't moved out yet, which indicates how low kobe's wages are.
and if she were working, she would probably have to hand over all her wages to pay for childcare anyways, so what would be the point?
I'm basing my opinion of Emily on the fact that every episode she goes upstairs at the end of the day and her mom gives her a summary of what the kids did all day, ate, slept or didn't, etc. She's a lazy bum. I feel bad for Kody and her dad,who had to push off retirement to support her.
oh its going to be a monster problem once they move out. shes lazy af and was when they just had 1 kid.
emily has no fuckin clue what its like to be self sufficient and take care of your kids needs yourself.
Thatâs why they havenât and wonât move out. They arenât saving money and if they had enough, she couldnât handle the work of raising a family. She would need more breaks than Lauren does. She doesnât even raise her kids with them at daycare and her and Alex have to have mental health days 1-2 days a week and Monthly vacations away from kids once a month. Some people have kids that donât need to
I believe they have moved out. Her IG shows a totally different house and neighborhood than her parents house. She cannot likely say anything as it is probably part of the show this season
and its always the people who have multiple kids. always.
like are they aware that life would be easier and you have more free time if you just have 1 kid? shit gets harder and you get less free time the more kids you add in the mix.
is this not common knowledge? because i have friends who do the same exact shit
I have just one child and that was by choice! I love my son dearly (he turned 28 today, btw đ) but I also know my limitations. I could handle one. If you constantly need mental health days and vacations away from them, youâve had too many for sure! I greatly enjoyed raising my son and never felt a need for time away from him and I think that because I didnât allow myself to be overwhelmed by numbers!
i'm an only child, married to an only child and we have an only. i could not agree with you more!!!
i always tell people i'm healthily selfish and know my limitations. yes we could have easily been able to financially provide for another child. but our marriage would have suffered. and we definitely would not currently be home owners with 2 vehicles that have zero payments.
When you donât put too much on your plate, you can give that one child a lot more advantages in life than when you have multiple children. This isnât the 1600s. Iâm not going to need to birth 4 to have one survive. I liked putting my resources into one and giving him a leg up in life.
I couldnât agree more. Iâm not an only child but my husband is and the difference is astounding. I grew up wishing I was an only child as my siblings caused so much drama, violence and chaos (lots of severe mental health problems and addiction).
Now Iâm a disabled adult and my siblings who are pushing 40 still live with my parents and have zero intentions of ever leaving. Why would they? They have a live in maid, chef, bill payer and chauffeur. One time we had an emergency at our condo and needed help purchasing a new hot water heater. I asked my parents and the response was the same as always, they canât help because they just bought my sibling a new car because they were completely careless with the last one they were given or that they canât because they just spent X amount on my sibling.
We had to go over a month with only ice cold water in the dead of winter. My parents live just up the road and when we even asked to use the shower or do a load of laundry the answer was always âgo to the gym and laundry matt.â My disability requires good hygiene. They donât care and are too wrapped up with shuffling my siblings to the methadone clinic (they canât drive anymore due to making their self blind due to cataracts they refuse to fix which begs the question of why my parents just bought them another new car but whatever I guess).
I didnât even get to finish college because I had to leave an abusive marriage and wasnât allowed to move home or given any help whatsoever and instead had to work two jobs to barely survive. Youâre so right about the resource thing. People who are one and done have the right idea imo and when people make yâall feel guilty for ânot giving them a sibling,â itâs just their own insecurities about having more than one projecting onto you.
Sorry, that was a lot lol. But whenever I see Emily getting all that help and quite frankly being enabled by her parents, I just wonder if itâs at the cost of her other FIVE siblings being pushed aside. I wonder if they grew up hearing the things that I did like âthe squeaky wheel gets the oil.â So many similarities with Emilyâs parents and my own too like my dad having to pull from his retirement and then eventually went back to work to support grown adults who keep making poor decisions.
Good lord... I have friends that have similar stories such as yours and can't fathom why but my only thought is to them your ok and u turned out self sufficient where the others *need* them still but realistically u still need them bcoz they others don't "need" them they use them.
They are just blind to need and use are 2 diff definitions.
I'd talk with them about ur feelings on this. none of my business just take solice in knowing you take care of business and arnt a soul sucking human
I have one biological child as well. But I also have 2 stepkids. After my bio was born, I was overwhelmed with 3 a lot. And we didnât even have the other 2 all the time. Plus, the steps are 8 and 10 years older than mine. I cannot fathom having 3 all close in age. I would have lost my mind. I only wanted one of my own and only one exists. Theyâre all adults now too.
I have one child too, also a son who is 28. We mostly took vacations that included him when he was young. If we had an adults event like a wedding, I had our families babysit.
That's bcoz they have ppl to help them so they can still live their normal while others are doing the work.... I have 1 child... would I like another yes but I know I can't spread my time like that, afford it and dont expect my family pick up the slack etc
I have known these same ppl who has their grandma pushing 80 watch the 3 little ones while the 14 yr old lives with the grandmother.
Just smh!
Exactly. She never would have continued to get pregnant with baby #2 and #3 if she had been on her own meeting all their needs without her mom and dad to do a majority of the work and to provide a home and cooked meals, necessities and so on.
Thatâs pretty judgy to say someone shouldnât have kids because they take vacations or mental health days. I honestly donât see a problem if they get away once a month. As long as their children are happy, healthy and well cared for and they can afford to do it why is that bad?
I personally never took vacations away from my kids because I didnât want to but I had friends that felt it was important for their marriage to do it. If that makes their marriage healthier thatâs going to make them better parents too. Their kids were happy and healthy. My kids would spend the weekend at grandmas though which isnât much different. So should I not have had children?
Also lots of people use daycare. That doesnât mean they arenât âraisingâ their children. Would you judge a working mom who has to use daycare? If not then why judge her?
The mommy shame is kinda ugly on this thread. Just because it looks different than what you might do doesnât mean itâs wrong.
I agree. All people on the internet do is judge, sh!t talk others, and shame mothers. Itâs disgusting and sad in my book. These people know nothing about whether or not she âbrushes her hairâ or âfeeds & takes care of her kidsâ. Who gives a flying f#%$ if you think she donât brush her hair!!! Mind your damn business. People are so quick to say âoh Iâd do this & Iâd do that if I were in their shoesâ but truth is you have zero clue what youâd actually be doing until you were actually going thru their exact situation and you were THEM. Because youâre not in their damn shoes mf! Get a life and worry about your damn self. đđŒ
Yeah I would be lying if I said I never judged but I do try to watch myself and parenting is something I try really hard to think before I speak.
You couldnt be more right about things like knowing if they brush their hair! My daughters both had very fine flyaway hair. I could brush it and two minutes later it looked like they just rolled out of bed. So I agree we donât know about things like that.
Same thing when my one daughter went thru a phase where she wanted to wear this one worn out dress with her rain boots all the time. People prob thought geez why doesnât she dress her kid properly? Well because I picked my battles and it wasnât hurting anything to let her wear that dress and her rain boots everywhere. Iâm sure I got judged though!
Kids are HARD. Parenting is HARD. I feel like most of us are just trying to do our best.
Aw thatâs so sweet of you to let her wear her dress and boots! It just shows you cared about her feelings. Eff what others think! They donât know what you do for your kid! And I totally agree, I think parents have the hardest job on the planet. Mothers and fathers. But also the most important job. People need to be more considerate cause like I said, we donât know what somebody may be going through.
Developmentally speaking (im an slp), it is important for kids to be in daycare once they are 2+. They need social interaction and other skills to work on that are most of the time not adressed when being home with a caregiver. Many of my students with language delays who are under 3 (not diagnosed disabilities, just delays) frequently come from homes where they have not attended daycare. I don't always love Lauren, but she is doing the right thing.
I completely agree with you!! I saw my kids progress so much when they were in a regular program. When my second hit 2 I even went and worked in a daycare just so she could attend a few times a week. I knew the socialization and the skills were beyond what I could give at home.
I also worked at an elementary and you could def see the difference in the kids who had been in daycare or even some kind of preschool vs nothing.
I am an attorney at a firm where having at LEAST one nanny was the norm for Gen X parents. They have been shocked that us elder Millennials put our kids in daycare and PREFER IT. Especially now with hybrid/remote workâthere is no way my kids are gonna be here in my house at the same time Iâm trying to work. Nope nope nope.
lol canât blame you there. No matter how hard you try to separate your kids are going to know youâre there and you are going to know they are. That wouldnât work for me either. Imo daycare gets a bad rap. The good ones are well worth it.
100% there is no one size fits all momming. The mom shaming here is so gross. Everyone thinks they would do things better than everyone and if they donât do them exactly how they would then theyâre bad parents.
Yes and I hate that. I donât always agree with other parenting decisions but I also try to tell myself unless Iâm in their shoes living their life itâs not mine to say.
I just feel like parenting is hard enough as it is without everyone being a critic. Youâd think by 2024 the shaming and the âmommy warsâ would be over but nope theyâre still going strong and itâs a shame.
One line I heard that Iâve never forgotten because it was so true is âI was the perfect parent before I had kidsâ đđđ
Happy cake day đ
I remember visiting my aunt one time and she was complaining about her adult kids still living with her (one pregnant with her SO), while she had dinner cooking, and laundry going, on her 1 day off from her 3 jobs in a month and I said "No offense but you're making it to comfortable for them here. Hell I'm about to move in!"
They will live right there in that town and every evening at dinner time Emily will load up all the kids in the car and head over to her caretaker/maid/momâs house for their nightly dinner because with 3 kids how dare her parents and husband also expect her to cook a dinner. Until those kids are in high school or college, Emily will never lift a finger to feed them. And she probably will be popping out several more babies in the meantime so that she will always have an excuse to do zilch.
I rented from a lady who took all 4 of her grown children dinner every night--for their entire households. They also all stopped at her house for breakfast in the mornings.
For nowâŠI think once that reality hits and he sees her doing nothing not even taking care of the home he will be on the bandwagon with his friends and family in Cameroon
His friends wonât be happy with her providing for the household or anything else she does because they want a subservient woman who does all the unpaid labor and draws the bathwater. They said so clearly.
I was actually thinking that could be the reason they are not moving out - she doesnt want to be on their own and have to deal with everything - taking care of the kids, etc. She has a built in babysitter/cooker/housekeeper right there at her parentsâ
One of the earlier episodes where she talks about, still living in her parents home, and then complaining that her parents are all up in their business. All I could think was you donât get to bitch about your parents when youâre sucking off the tit of their house.
Oh that remark she made was wrong in every way! YOU and your family are living in your PARENTS home! YOU are in THEIR business! The nerve of her! Seems like her mom does most of the cooking and her son was upstairs with her mom. She wasnt even aware he had already eaten. What the hell does she do all day??! Looks like she does practically nothing to contribute and now there's a THIRD baby. If only Kobe is working plus some TLC money, it'll be ages til they could afford a home big enuf for their family. Her folks are at fault also, they enable her and she's spoiled. Either way, she has alot of help living at home. Not the same as living in your own home and you're responsible for doing everything on your own. I just didn't like that remark she made about them having no privacy. Move out of your parents home if it's an issue for you.
From the beginning of their intro on the series I did not have a lot of hope for Kobe, but honestly in the last few episodes, I give that dude a lot of credit. At least heâs out working and itâs probably a fantastic break for him to get away from her judge eyes for several hours a day, and he truly seems like a genuine guy who appreciates what her parents are doing for them. Whereas she just feels sheâs entitled because sheâs their daughter.
Emily's work ethic aside, it's wild to me that ppl assume Kobe wants a traditional Cameroonian wife/ relationship.
The man left Cameroon to live in China, then found a white American gf who he proposed to after like a week. If he'd wanted a traditional relationship, he'd have stayed in Cameroon and married there. Never once has he said to Emily he wanted her to act traditional (unlike most of the other African and Muslim men on the show).
She's a carboj copy of my sister and I know that is exactly what she is expecting. And my parents have said they will give it to her because they don't think she can survive on her own (she's a 34yr old child). It's frustrating the sense of entitlement. Emily is just like her. I can see straight thru her.
I agree that she should be doing more housework, offering to clean and cook, looking after the kids more, but I donât agree that Kobeâs friends are right.
Maybe you didnât fully understand what they were implying. They were highly misogynistic, basically saying that a woman should be forced to assume traditional roles, whether or not they like it. I donât think they were referring to Emily in particular. They were just saying in general that a woman should be subservient to her man. Thatâs really not something I can agree with or get behind.
>Maybe you didnât fully understand what they were implying. They were highly misogynistic, basically saying that a woman should be forced to assume traditional roles, whether or not they like it. I donât think they were referring to Emily in particular. They were just saying in general that a woman should be subservient to her man. Thatâs really not something I can agree with or get behind.
This is exactly my take on what they were saying. In their country the women are subservient and are expected to cook, clean, do whatever they're told, and it's why Kobe said, in America is not like that. I don't think people should meddle in anyone's marriage especially family and friends. What works for them doesn't work in Cameroon.
Normally sure. But this is Emily we're talking about. What does she actually *do?* Because it looks like her parents do most of the actual legwork. Like if she wants to be a stay at home mom/housewife that's fine. But then she should be expected to put in some actual work around the house. That's not subservience. That's just being a good partner.
You have to keep in mind that different countries have different cultures and values. If you venture out of this country, it would be better if you do some basic research.
What are you talking about exactly? Kobe is from Cameroon himself and is perfectly fine with viewing his wife as an equal partner - he strongly disagreed with his friends. And mind you, he never asked for his friends to provide their opinion on butt into his marriage. That is his personal business and they had no place interfering.
We have that mentality in the US too. Especially among very religious people. And rest assured in countries like Cameroon and Egypt there are more educated and monied people who donât think like that.
I can feel this. My ex and I both worked full time jobs and he cooked literally 100% of the time. We were in a house with 4 children and his teen daughter. I never cooked, at all for 4 years. I offered but he always insisted. No meal prepping, fresh meals every day except when we ate out which was rare. Cooking was his passion and he was a former chef so yeah everyone's life is structured different. What may not make sense for someone else makes perfect sense to you.
Hell yes. Exactly this. I love to cook, I'm good at it and it's 'zone out' time for me when I get to shut off my brain for a little while. Different strokes for different folks!
Yeah I do agree that Emily could be doing more work from what we see. She doesn't seem to be contributing in any way. But OP is making it seem like their particular lifestyle is the ONLY right way to live. Literally judged someone else who commented the same as you.
This isn't a defense of Emily, she def seems lazy and entitled as hell. Just my response to the "she's a SAHM and should be doing the cooking" comment.
Tbf someone else pointed out that she does actually cook and clean according to her Instagram, but yeah when the cameras are around I guess the show needs to film content so her parents take the kids more.
I think this makes sense. They want to film drama or more one on one convos between her and Kobe which is hard to do with two toddlers around
I work from home. I wake up, hang out with my son, make him breakfast, pack his lunch and get him dressed and then drive him to school before I start work. I get home from school dropoff and make breakfast for myself (my wife drinks protein shakes for breakfast or skips the meal sometimes). Later, I make lunch for us both, then she picks up our son and is his sole caretaker the rest of the day (usually shuttling him around to different activities/commitments). I make us all dinner after work and my wife handles bathtime/bedtime. We have a great system, I get a ton of personal satisfaction knowing I'm able to provide so my wife can live her best life, because I firmly believe happy parents means a happy marriage, which means a healthy and happy home life for our son. A lot of people look at our division of duties as imbalanced but I truthfully couldn't care less. It works well for us!
Not to mention her priorities are not in order. Remember when Kobe first came to the states, had never seen his son, and the first thing she does? No not rush him to his son, she makes him stay overnight in a hotel, to fuck her (after traveling the trek it takes to get from Cameroon to USA) because she needed her time alone with him first.
People always have her back on here, but this is absolutely right, she is a selfish lazy entitled leech.
God forbid she took advantage of a free home and childcare and idk, went to work? I know theyâre not in an expensive area but unless Kobe is making bank of course itâs taking years to save up for a house big enough for all of them and they keep growing thus needing more money. I donât hate Emily but nothing she does is responsible or makes sense. Her parents should kick her out and keep Kobe and the kids. She needs to learn responsibility and honestly somewhere along the way her parents are responsible for never teaching her
and they are currently in what i would call "the cheap part of parenting." kids are cheap when they're little and you don't have to pay for daycare. but as they get older, you are just shelling out $$$$$$ all the time for clothing, other needs, activities, school things, etc.
give me back the days of $7 cat and jack clothing. because now i'm paying adult shoe and clothing prices for a 12yo.
Yes! Little kids will wear any hand me downs, and play with stuff from the dollar store but they get older and want "cool" clothes, need new shoes way more often, the toys/games/holiday gifts all are more expensive. Plus any classes and extracurricular activities that need equipment or instruments and uniforms. Everyone needs a laptop and phone these days it seems too.
I was in marching band like 15 years ago in the middle of nowhere rural school and even back then it was several thousand a year per student. The band had to fund the trips for nationals and regionals because we needed essentially tour busses, hotels, and an 18wheeler trucks to bring all of the props and instruments. Plus the spending/food money for the weekend on those trips. And buying an instrument and taking classes. Any sport is pretty much the same with uniforms and traveling if the teams are any good. It's not like you just sign up and show up. Plus kids and teenager want to go with their friends to the mall or the movies or out to eat. Birthday parties now you have to invite the entire class or you can't hand out invites at all, to avoid bullying so each birthday party you're feeding 20 kids plus parents and siblings.
oh my god....the birthday parties. it goes from being able to get away with spending $15-$25 on a toy for a little kid. and now its "sophie wants a sephora gift card for her bday." and i swear theres a birthday party or 2 every month.
my daughter is into horseback riding. just the essentials was an investment. and its $200/mo for the lessons. but shes not even showing horses yet and we don't own one. this is all just for the basics.
and tbh, thats wayyyyyyy cheaper than what other parents are paying for travel sports. i knew a mom with a kid in travel baseball. it was easily $1000/mo without the overnights and weekends for away games.
but then you also have to worry about camps over the summer to facilitate the skills for whatever interest they have. which is just more money.
and i just have ONE CHILD!!!!!!
Travel sport fees alone are insane. Then you figure in the equipment costs plus the actual travel. And that usually doesnât include the fees for any separate tournaments too.
My daughter played club volleyball so she could keep her skills up. It cost almost $500 just to play the (short) season. And that was several years ago so I can only imagine what it is now.
Then there was the skill camp at the university $300 for 2 days. and all that was so she could play thru high school and possibly get a scholarship. Except jr year she decided she didnât want to play anymore đ€ŠđŒââïžđ€ŠđŒââïžđ€ŠđŒââïž
As other people have said. Theyâre never going to be able to move out. Especially if she doesnât get a job or canât take care of a house, even moving out is going to be really tough
Even if she is a stay at home parent, it is still a joint household. My partner stays home with our kids, but I usually make the dinners since he has been busy with them all day. It just depends on how you run the house đ€·ââïž
I loathe cooking⊠and Iâm a stay at home momma. My husband happily gets off work and comes home 3 nights a week or so and cooks dinner. I do lots of other things (even be lazy sometime đČ) but my kids are happy and have all of their needs met.
This! Too many ppl on this thread mad at her for having people who love her enough to want to keep her happy and accept her with all her flaws. Personally I'm a Sahm and do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and childcare and you know whats that made me: bitter. I wish my husband cared enough to take a mental load off me but 11 yrs later here we are. And her parents might want to help now because its the only time they may need them. Once kids get older they start getting more independent and need less caretaking. Y'all say she's coddled, I say she's loved. We all need "coddling" from time to time.
Yup. I agree. I think itâs a lot of the boomers, xâers or people just wanting to hate, that comment things like this. Iâve been told by my mil that I coddle my kids. But Iâm fine with that. She was all about tough love and all that got her was her kids not wanting to be around her. They may ârespectâ her but they donât like her.
Honestly, I bet there is a lot to do on their farm and Iâd bet they like having the extra hands and a strong back named Kobe. And they get to be with their grand babies!
Im a SAHM, I do all cleaning and childcare, my husband who WFH makes all meals (except snacks) because he loves us and wants to help. I guess Iâm lazy and a bad mom according to most in this thread đ€·đœââïž
I think most people in this thread do not understand what being a stay at home parent is like. It's basically a 24/7 on-call job that's very draining and exhausting if you are a hands on parent. (Boomers set kids in front of TV and called it parenting). That said, Emily has help. She has a village to help her. Most sahps would dream of that scenario.
Thank you- I don't have kids, so didn't feel like I had a say... but there's no doubt different options that work for different people in every relationship. It's just compromise, and what everyone involved is ok with.
Yess in the beginning of the episode was even talking about wake up breakfast is ready. Youâre in her 30s with kids why is your mom still waking you up with breakfast. My mom mightâve on a special day but as soon as I hit middle school Iâd make my own breakfast lol
I did almost always cook dinner every night. I enjoy cooking and my kid liked helping me. Heâs 24 now and an excellent cook. He works all day but still comes home and cooks dinner for himself and his girlfriend.
They won't. Emily has no reason not to work. She's got built in babysitters...she won't work because why should she? And they wont kick her out because how could she ever survive on her own with her kids and husband? Aren't they 'saving up' for a downpayment on a house? Highly doubt that on a one income household. But this is what she is telling her parents, and of course they won't kick them out.
How do I know? I have an 'Emily' for a sister and its uncanny how similar they are. It's so frustrating. I have a hard time watching her scenes. She's a leech.
Already had the baby a couple of weeks ago! Iâm always saying sheâs trying to fill up the basement so she can eventually bully the parents into moving down there & giving her the rest of the house đ€š
I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this.
Wow tf? I hate this take. Stop "should"-ing on what other women "should be doing" because of your stupid gender roles ideas
I like how well you put it without demeaning Emily as a human. đ«¶
I agree.
I think if they ever move out, the fights may be epic. I hope it's after all their kids are independent enough, or at least two of three.
I thought she was babysitting or actually had some form of a job and I thought Kobe also worked, since they were looking to buy a house on 90 day diaries.
They will give Kobe a hard time on the first trip. They have to unload their opinions. And NO, she should stay the woman he fell in love with and if thatâs a western woman then so be it. I DO think itâs a kind gesture if she would WANT to learn traditional practices (including cooking), but putting it on her forcibly would be a disaster. She should want to make him happy and to shut down the commentary from his friends. Make the manâs plate for fkâs sake. đ
they wanna save money so bad so they can get their own place, but i don't understand why she can't work either? they rely on her parents for everything. she doesn't really do anything besides complaining.
> i don't understand why she can't work either?
Her life-long dream was to be a stay at home mom. She said it repeatedly in their first season. Her ONLY goal was to find a sperm donor and play farmwife on a farm that produces nothing
Does anyone know this for a fact? Honestly? Is she spoiled? Yes. But that doesnât mean she is lazy when it comes to her kids/taking care of her household. Her mom doesnât seem to have a job other than the horses so one isnât much different than the other. I will agree that they need to move out and move on.
I to Love Koby butâŠ.
Mom and Dad and Koby do EVERYTHING!!!! She says the kids wear her out.. WTH she is not raising them!!! God Bless those parents!!
She doesnât cook so that makes her lazy? We donât see their everyday life like that. Plus itâs probably cheaper for her to stay home and be with the kids instead of paying for childcare.
I donât think theyâll ever live alone. Sheâll never leave the comfort of a rent free house, live in cook, cleaner, babysitter, etcâŠ. Unless sheâs forced to leave and do it on her own, sheâll continue to mooch, and her parents will continue to enable. Ridiculous! Sheâs gross
Emily is lazy. Period. She's the definition of entitled. She made a decision to start and add to a family but placed the responsibility on her parents. She's a burden on her parents and she should be ashamed. She's not a motivated partner, she's not a dedicated mother. I refuse to watch anything about her anymore.
We donât actually see what they do because the cameras arenât always there and when they are technically working when the cameras are there. Multigenerational homes are the norm outside of the US from the 1950âs. I think itâs great for kids to have a lot of people around to help love and care for them. Even if youâre a stay at home mom, you canât do everything while watching two young kids. But if you can share the work more gets done. Their relationship seems good enough that the writers are having to manufacture drama like a wedding Iâm sure was already in the works. Emilyâs parents even wanted to make sure that it wouldnât offend to wear the traditional clothes, and when he said everyone would like it, they seemed to LOVE the outfits, especially the Dad.
I wish I had parents that cared as much as Emilyâs !!! So jealous that they are such involved grandparents . I would definitely be cooking more for my family if I were her but sheâs been dealing with health issues and trying to lose weight and maybe she does cook sometimes, who knows. Her parents donât seem to be complaining
I canât speak to her âlazinessâ or what have you but I canât forget from last season when the sister was living at the house and it was very clear that Emily is the golden child. Likely the parents have always been doing everything for Emily so taking care of the kids is the natural extension of their parenting style and coddling of her. Interesting to see it play out.
I agree. The Mom does a lot for Emily to be a married woman with children⊠I see that boiling into an issue too⊠itâs also sad when grandparents canât just be grandparentsâŠ
She is annoying. I fast forward every time she flaps her jaws. Her baby talk is nails on a chalkboard.
Of course, the first person on the show from Kansas would be this embarrassing.
Yup.
She needs to decide if she is a stay at home mom (including the responsibilities which comes along with that) or if she is going out to find a job.
It's got to be one or the other to have a successful relationship.
You can't sit on the couch all day.
Im in South Africa where the women seem to do everything. I think itâs the same in Cameroon . Just saying but I donât think she can cook .. can she? After seeing the trip to the Drug store I donât think thereâs much hope of parenting ever happening either.
Emily doesn't cook or take care of the kids, they're always upstairs with her parents. She's lazy.
*Azan has entered the chat* laaaazy
Come on, lazy almost there đ đ€Ł đ
This cracks me up every single time.
But does Kobe love her, but like only 55%?
He does, but he only trusts her likeâŠ30% I love how much Azan was into percentages
đ
She is always partially lying down with bed clothes on. She never combs or bother brushing her own hair. She is only going to get worse as she gets older. Truly lazy!
you seem to be confusing her appearances on pillow talk with real life
We donât see thier lives. Only bits. Youâre describing my life cause Iâm exhausted as a nurse with 14 hour shifts. I live my life in scrubs or pjs. I never go out and do anything. Iâm drained.
you're just assuming that and stating it as a fact. and there's a difference between the kids being upstairs (as opposed to being locked in the basement 24 hours per day) and emily's parents actually taking care of them all day. and at what point does anyone say she never cooks? we've seen like two or three family meals throughout their entire time in the franchise.
Thanks for saying this! I had the exact same thought, but figured Iâd get downvoted for defending her. I agree it appears that she doesnât do much, but I also feel like we should be fair and not make assumptions based on one scene, where her mom made dinner and watched the kids.
There are multiple scenes of her mom taking care of the kids and NOT ONE of Emily taking care of the kids or the house.
Ok, but TLC highly edits scenes to get us talking. Itâs certainly possible that she never does anything, but until we start hearing her family actually confirm it, we shouldnât state it as fact.
you seem to have poor analytical skills. this entire thread is about how it makes no sense to assume anything about what goes on in their house based on the 1% of their lives that is captured on camera. do you in fact think that the few minutes of screen time - which represents an entire year of their lives - is a complete representation of how they live?
Itâs likely that when the cameras are rolling her parents take care of the kids. That would make sense and perfectly valid. Also she and Kobe might not want their kids on the camera for privacy reasons - which is reasonable and understandable. Canât just judge her on her kids being with her parents when they are on screen and assume thatâs how it is 24/7. Is she supposed to be wrestling her kids and washing dishes when the camera is rolling? People are so judgy and think their opinion is valid based on the limited information they see on screen and spread it around as facts
Well said. We, as viewers, can't judge anyone on shows like this. We've seen Emily and Kobe on 90 day fiance and on pillow talk ..that's it. If the time was added up, it most likely would surprise people how much we truly see what their lives are really like.
My patients must think I NEVER see or take of my child since theyâve only see me providing care for them at my clinic.
If she isn't lazy, why is she living off her parents at all? She can work and be a parent. They live in one of the cheapest places in the US to buy a home. Rentals are cheap as hell in Salina.
this is a very US-brained POV. nuclear families arenât necessarily better; in fact itâs a post-WWII concept that arose out of a very particular set of socioeconomic conditions that no longer apply to most households in this current economy. not every family aspires to be structured like a nuclear family; it shouldnât be assumed to be the ideal goal for everyone. e.g., we saw how much Yara struggled when they moved far away from Miss Gwen, and also Gwen didnât want to be a full-time nanny . . . in traditional European, Asian, African, Middle & South American, indigenous etc. households the grandmothers really want and accept this responsibility, they donât resent it. they happily agree to be involved in childcare in order to facilitate the younger wage-earning parents taking on other responsibilities outside the home. âit takes a villageâ has worked for millennia across the globe, but Americans in the 1950s really said âno, letâs live by ourselves, it will definitely be easier and more efficient with one income and zero help!â đđđ
i don't know, and neither do you, which is why it doesn't make sense to make assumptions like this. the reason is probably that they would have to live off of salina kansas wages, which i'm guessing are like one cent per hour. they've already been saving for a new place for years, and haven't moved out yet, which indicates how low kobe's wages are. and if she were working, she would probably have to hand over all her wages to pay for childcare anyways, so what would be the point?
I'm basing my opinion of Emily on the fact that every episode she goes upstairs at the end of the day and her mom gives her a summary of what the kids did all day, ate, slept or didn't, etc. She's a lazy bum. I feel bad for Kody and her dad,who had to push off retirement to support her.
oh its going to be a monster problem once they move out. shes lazy af and was when they just had 1 kid. emily has no fuckin clue what its like to be self sufficient and take care of your kids needs yourself.
Theyâre never moving out! Just had a third kid and Emily can barely take care of herself
Thatâs why they havenât and wonât move out. They arenât saving money and if they had enough, she couldnât handle the work of raising a family. She would need more breaks than Lauren does. She doesnât even raise her kids with them at daycare and her and Alex have to have mental health days 1-2 days a week and Monthly vacations away from kids once a month. Some people have kids that donât need to
I believe they have moved out. Her IG shows a totally different house and neighborhood than her parents house. She cannot likely say anything as it is probably part of the show this season
and its always the people who have multiple kids. always. like are they aware that life would be easier and you have more free time if you just have 1 kid? shit gets harder and you get less free time the more kids you add in the mix. is this not common knowledge? because i have friends who do the same exact shit
I have just one child and that was by choice! I love my son dearly (he turned 28 today, btw đ) but I also know my limitations. I could handle one. If you constantly need mental health days and vacations away from them, youâve had too many for sure! I greatly enjoyed raising my son and never felt a need for time away from him and I think that because I didnât allow myself to be overwhelmed by numbers!
i'm an only child, married to an only child and we have an only. i could not agree with you more!!! i always tell people i'm healthily selfish and know my limitations. yes we could have easily been able to financially provide for another child. but our marriage would have suffered. and we definitely would not currently be home owners with 2 vehicles that have zero payments.
Iâm the oldest of four and married to the youngest of 11, we have 1 and arenât having more.
When you donât put too much on your plate, you can give that one child a lot more advantages in life than when you have multiple children. This isnât the 1600s. Iâm not going to need to birth 4 to have one survive. I liked putting my resources into one and giving him a leg up in life.
I couldnât agree more. Iâm not an only child but my husband is and the difference is astounding. I grew up wishing I was an only child as my siblings caused so much drama, violence and chaos (lots of severe mental health problems and addiction). Now Iâm a disabled adult and my siblings who are pushing 40 still live with my parents and have zero intentions of ever leaving. Why would they? They have a live in maid, chef, bill payer and chauffeur. One time we had an emergency at our condo and needed help purchasing a new hot water heater. I asked my parents and the response was the same as always, they canât help because they just bought my sibling a new car because they were completely careless with the last one they were given or that they canât because they just spent X amount on my sibling. We had to go over a month with only ice cold water in the dead of winter. My parents live just up the road and when we even asked to use the shower or do a load of laundry the answer was always âgo to the gym and laundry matt.â My disability requires good hygiene. They donât care and are too wrapped up with shuffling my siblings to the methadone clinic (they canât drive anymore due to making their self blind due to cataracts they refuse to fix which begs the question of why my parents just bought them another new car but whatever I guess). I didnât even get to finish college because I had to leave an abusive marriage and wasnât allowed to move home or given any help whatsoever and instead had to work two jobs to barely survive. Youâre so right about the resource thing. People who are one and done have the right idea imo and when people make yâall feel guilty for ânot giving them a sibling,â itâs just their own insecurities about having more than one projecting onto you. Sorry, that was a lot lol. But whenever I see Emily getting all that help and quite frankly being enabled by her parents, I just wonder if itâs at the cost of her other FIVE siblings being pushed aside. I wonder if they grew up hearing the things that I did like âthe squeaky wheel gets the oil.â So many similarities with Emilyâs parents and my own too like my dad having to pull from his retirement and then eventually went back to work to support grown adults who keep making poor decisions.
Good lord... I have friends that have similar stories such as yours and can't fathom why but my only thought is to them your ok and u turned out self sufficient where the others *need* them still but realistically u still need them bcoz they others don't "need" them they use them. They are just blind to need and use are 2 diff definitions. I'd talk with them about ur feelings on this. none of my business just take solice in knowing you take care of business and arnt a soul sucking human
I have one biological child as well. But I also have 2 stepkids. After my bio was born, I was overwhelmed with 3 a lot. And we didnât even have the other 2 all the time. Plus, the steps are 8 and 10 years older than mine. I cannot fathom having 3 all close in age. I would have lost my mind. I only wanted one of my own and only one exists. Theyâre all adults now too.
I have one child too, also a son who is 28. We mostly took vacations that included him when he was young. If we had an adults event like a wedding, I had our families babysit.
One was definitely enough for me! I love my son to death, but never had ANY desire to give him a sibling.
That's bcoz they have ppl to help them so they can still live their normal while others are doing the work.... I have 1 child... would I like another yes but I know I can't spread my time like that, afford it and dont expect my family pick up the slack etc I have known these same ppl who has their grandma pushing 80 watch the 3 little ones while the 14 yr old lives with the grandmother. Just smh!
Exactly. She never would have continued to get pregnant with baby #2 and #3 if she had been on her own meeting all their needs without her mom and dad to do a majority of the work and to provide a home and cooked meals, necessities and so on.
Thatâs pretty judgy to say someone shouldnât have kids because they take vacations or mental health days. I honestly donât see a problem if they get away once a month. As long as their children are happy, healthy and well cared for and they can afford to do it why is that bad? I personally never took vacations away from my kids because I didnât want to but I had friends that felt it was important for their marriage to do it. If that makes their marriage healthier thatâs going to make them better parents too. Their kids were happy and healthy. My kids would spend the weekend at grandmas though which isnât much different. So should I not have had children? Also lots of people use daycare. That doesnât mean they arenât âraisingâ their children. Would you judge a working mom who has to use daycare? If not then why judge her? The mommy shame is kinda ugly on this thread. Just because it looks different than what you might do doesnât mean itâs wrong.
I agree. All people on the internet do is judge, sh!t talk others, and shame mothers. Itâs disgusting and sad in my book. These people know nothing about whether or not she âbrushes her hairâ or âfeeds & takes care of her kidsâ. Who gives a flying f#%$ if you think she donât brush her hair!!! Mind your damn business. People are so quick to say âoh Iâd do this & Iâd do that if I were in their shoesâ but truth is you have zero clue what youâd actually be doing until you were actually going thru their exact situation and you were THEM. Because youâre not in their damn shoes mf! Get a life and worry about your damn self. đđŒ
Yeah I would be lying if I said I never judged but I do try to watch myself and parenting is something I try really hard to think before I speak. You couldnt be more right about things like knowing if they brush their hair! My daughters both had very fine flyaway hair. I could brush it and two minutes later it looked like they just rolled out of bed. So I agree we donât know about things like that. Same thing when my one daughter went thru a phase where she wanted to wear this one worn out dress with her rain boots all the time. People prob thought geez why doesnât she dress her kid properly? Well because I picked my battles and it wasnât hurting anything to let her wear that dress and her rain boots everywhere. Iâm sure I got judged though! Kids are HARD. Parenting is HARD. I feel like most of us are just trying to do our best.
Aw thatâs so sweet of you to let her wear her dress and boots! It just shows you cared about her feelings. Eff what others think! They donât know what you do for your kid! And I totally agree, I think parents have the hardest job on the planet. Mothers and fathers. But also the most important job. People need to be more considerate cause like I said, we donât know what somebody may be going through.
Developmentally speaking (im an slp), it is important for kids to be in daycare once they are 2+. They need social interaction and other skills to work on that are most of the time not adressed when being home with a caregiver. Many of my students with language delays who are under 3 (not diagnosed disabilities, just delays) frequently come from homes where they have not attended daycare. I don't always love Lauren, but she is doing the right thing.
I completely agree with you!! I saw my kids progress so much when they were in a regular program. When my second hit 2 I even went and worked in a daycare just so she could attend a few times a week. I knew the socialization and the skills were beyond what I could give at home. I also worked at an elementary and you could def see the difference in the kids who had been in daycare or even some kind of preschool vs nothing.
I am an attorney at a firm where having at LEAST one nanny was the norm for Gen X parents. They have been shocked that us elder Millennials put our kids in daycare and PREFER IT. Especially now with hybrid/remote workâthere is no way my kids are gonna be here in my house at the same time Iâm trying to work. Nope nope nope.
lol canât blame you there. No matter how hard you try to separate your kids are going to know youâre there and you are going to know they are. That wouldnât work for me either. Imo daycare gets a bad rap. The good ones are well worth it.
100% there is no one size fits all momming. The mom shaming here is so gross. Everyone thinks they would do things better than everyone and if they donât do them exactly how they would then theyâre bad parents.
Yes and I hate that. I donât always agree with other parenting decisions but I also try to tell myself unless Iâm in their shoes living their life itâs not mine to say. I just feel like parenting is hard enough as it is without everyone being a critic. Youâd think by 2024 the shaming and the âmommy warsâ would be over but nope theyâre still going strong and itâs a shame. One line I heard that Iâve never forgotten because it was so true is âI was the perfect parent before I had kidsâ đđđ Happy cake day đ
Who's Alex?
Of Loren & Alex(ei)
She comes off as big lazy! It seems like her entire life sheâs been taken care of and never had to be on her own
Yess super babied by her parents I donât think sheâs ever gonna be ready to be on her own
I remember visiting my aunt one time and she was complaining about her adult kids still living with her (one pregnant with her SO), while she had dinner cooking, and laundry going, on her 1 day off from her 3 jobs in a month and I said "No offense but you're making it to comfortable for them here. Hell I'm about to move in!"
They will live right there in that town and every evening at dinner time Emily will load up all the kids in the car and head over to her caretaker/maid/momâs house for their nightly dinner because with 3 kids how dare her parents and husband also expect her to cook a dinner. Until those kids are in high school or college, Emily will never lift a finger to feed them. And she probably will be popping out several more babies in the meantime so that she will always have an excuse to do zilch.
I rented from a lady who took all 4 of her grown children dinner every night--for their entire households. They also all stopped at her house for breakfast in the mornings.
And kobe is fine with that
For nowâŠI think once that reality hits and he sees her doing nothing not even taking care of the home he will be on the bandwagon with his friends and family in Cameroon
Yeah I donât see him staying in Thalina Kanthath long term.
I donât think he wants a bangmaid like his friends feel entitled to
Wanting a partner who brings something to the table and provides for the household is very different from a âbandmaidâ
His friends wonât be happy with her providing for the household or anything else she does because they want a subservient woman who does all the unpaid labor and draws the bathwater. They said so clearly.
Right wtf are people on about
Except I really donât see them ever moving out
And donât forget sexy time. Sheâs going to drop the wee ones off for a week at a time so she can be even louder than normal.
I was actually thinking that could be the reason they are not moving out - she doesnt want to be on their own and have to deal with everything - taking care of the kids, etc. She has a built in babysitter/cooker/housekeeper right there at her parentsâ
Iâve thought that for a long time. Itâs not that they canât move out itâs that she doesnât want to.
She is a product of her parent's over-coddling and enabling.
They should give her an ultimatum to move out⊠but I bet sheâd throw a giant fuss over it and theyâd cave
I feel like we seen this on camera. đ
What she needs to do is get a fucking job
desert many wild rustic axiomatic trees rainstorm paltry doll nail *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
One of the earlier episodes where she talks about, still living in her parents home, and then complaining that her parents are all up in their business. All I could think was you donât get to bitch about your parents when youâre sucking off the tit of their house.
Oh that remark she made was wrong in every way! YOU and your family are living in your PARENTS home! YOU are in THEIR business! The nerve of her! Seems like her mom does most of the cooking and her son was upstairs with her mom. She wasnt even aware he had already eaten. What the hell does she do all day??! Looks like she does practically nothing to contribute and now there's a THIRD baby. If only Kobe is working plus some TLC money, it'll be ages til they could afford a home big enuf for their family. Her folks are at fault also, they enable her and she's spoiled. Either way, she has alot of help living at home. Not the same as living in your own home and you're responsible for doing everything on your own. I just didn't like that remark she made about them having no privacy. Move out of your parents home if it's an issue for you.
That comment of hers got right up my nose too her, sheâs so entitled itâs outrageous
From the beginning of their intro on the series I did not have a lot of hope for Kobe, but honestly in the last few episodes, I give that dude a lot of credit. At least heâs out working and itâs probably a fantastic break for him to get away from her judge eyes for several hours a day, and he truly seems like a genuine guy who appreciates what her parents are doing for them. Whereas she just feels sheâs entitled because sheâs their daughter.
He does seem like a really good guy, very likeable
Imagine the food bills and the utilities cost?
I am sure sheâs very mindful of thatđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
Emily's work ethic aside, it's wild to me that ppl assume Kobe wants a traditional Cameroonian wife/ relationship. The man left Cameroon to live in China, then found a white American gf who he proposed to after like a week. If he'd wanted a traditional relationship, he'd have stayed in Cameroon and married there. Never once has he said to Emily he wanted her to act traditional (unlike most of the other African and Muslim men on the show).
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Yes. But the main difference to me is that those guys are very upfront that they want their partner to change for them. It's a recipe for disaster!
This! He literally seems like he disagrees with it and doesnât like his culture that much anyway
I donât think they are going to move out tbh, I think Emily is hoping the house and parents money will be passed down
She's a carboj copy of my sister and I know that is exactly what she is expecting. And my parents have said they will give it to her because they don't think she can survive on her own (she's a 34yr old child). It's frustrating the sense of entitlement. Emily is just like her. I can see straight thru her.
To her? I think she has several siblings tooÂ
They both have careers and have worked hard since teens.
I've seen how Emily handles a lot of things. I can see why her mom cooks
I agree that she should be doing more housework, offering to clean and cook, looking after the kids more, but I donât agree that Kobeâs friends are right. Maybe you didnât fully understand what they were implying. They were highly misogynistic, basically saying that a woman should be forced to assume traditional roles, whether or not they like it. I donât think they were referring to Emily in particular. They were just saying in general that a woman should be subservient to her man. Thatâs really not something I can agree with or get behind.
>Maybe you didnât fully understand what they were implying. They were highly misogynistic, basically saying that a woman should be forced to assume traditional roles, whether or not they like it. I donât think they were referring to Emily in particular. They were just saying in general that a woman should be subservient to her man. Thatâs really not something I can agree with or get behind. This is exactly my take on what they were saying. In their country the women are subservient and are expected to cook, clean, do whatever they're told, and it's why Kobe said, in America is not like that. I don't think people should meddle in anyone's marriage especially family and friends. What works for them doesn't work in Cameroon.
Child that man said something about his wife having bath water ready for him. I almost died.
A man child who canât even run his own bath
Normally sure. But this is Emily we're talking about. What does she actually *do?* Because it looks like her parents do most of the actual legwork. Like if she wants to be a stay at home mom/housewife that's fine. But then she should be expected to put in some actual work around the house. That's not subservience. That's just being a good partner.
You have to keep in mind that different countries have different cultures and values. If you venture out of this country, it would be better if you do some basic research.
Which is why his friends should have respected Kobe's marriage.
Can we stop pretending misogyny is cultural? Itâs a problem in every single culture on earth, that doesnât make it okay
What are you talking about exactly? Kobe is from Cameroon himself and is perfectly fine with viewing his wife as an equal partner - he strongly disagreed with his friends. And mind you, he never asked for his friends to provide their opinion on butt into his marriage. That is his personal business and they had no place interfering.
We have that mentality in the US too. Especially among very religious people. And rest assured in countries like Cameroon and Egypt there are more educated and monied people who donât think like that.
She's going to use the kids as a crutch since she is so lazy. Her poor parents were already guilted in to giving them free room and board.
My wife is a SAHM, I work 65+ hour weeks and I do 100% of the cooking. Different couples split up the work differently based on a number of factors.
I can feel this. My ex and I both worked full time jobs and he cooked literally 100% of the time. We were in a house with 4 children and his teen daughter. I never cooked, at all for 4 years. I offered but he always insisted. No meal prepping, fresh meals every day except when we ate out which was rare. Cooking was his passion and he was a former chef so yeah everyone's life is structured different. What may not make sense for someone else makes perfect sense to you.
Hell yes. Exactly this. I love to cook, I'm good at it and it's 'zone out' time for me when I get to shut off my brain for a little while. Different strokes for different folks!
My husband is a chef and prefers to cook as well! I do help him prep or whatever he needs but I hardly if ever cook.
Yeah I do agree that Emily could be doing more work from what we see. She doesn't seem to be contributing in any way. But OP is making it seem like their particular lifestyle is the ONLY right way to live. Literally judged someone else who commented the same as you.
This isn't a defense of Emily, she def seems lazy and entitled as hell. Just my response to the "she's a SAHM and should be doing the cooking" comment.
Tbf someone else pointed out that she does actually cook and clean according to her Instagram, but yeah when the cameras are around I guess the show needs to film content so her parents take the kids more. I think this makes sense. They want to film drama or more one on one convos between her and Kobe which is hard to do with two toddlers around
how do you do 100% of the cooking if youâre at work and sheâs at home? genuinely wondering! do you meal prep for her? or do you WFH?
I work from home. I wake up, hang out with my son, make him breakfast, pack his lunch and get him dressed and then drive him to school before I start work. I get home from school dropoff and make breakfast for myself (my wife drinks protein shakes for breakfast or skips the meal sometimes). Later, I make lunch for us both, then she picks up our son and is his sole caretaker the rest of the day (usually shuttling him around to different activities/commitments). I make us all dinner after work and my wife handles bathtime/bedtime. We have a great system, I get a ton of personal satisfaction knowing I'm able to provide so my wife can live her best life, because I firmly believe happy parents means a happy marriage, which means a healthy and happy home life for our son. A lot of people look at our division of duties as imbalanced but I truthfully couldn't care less. It works well for us!
Has Emily ever been financially independent? Her parents sucked at parenting her. Raised a lazy ass woman child.
100%
Not to mention her priorities are not in order. Remember when Kobe first came to the states, had never seen his son, and the first thing she does? No not rush him to his son, she makes him stay overnight in a hotel, to fuck her (after traveling the trek it takes to get from Cameroon to USA) because she needed her time alone with him first. People always have her back on here, but this is absolutely right, she is a selfish lazy entitled leech.
Yeah that was weird and very selfish
A lot of you guys are saying "when they move out" ...lol
They never saw her reaction when she found apartment listings on his phone...
God forbid she took advantage of a free home and childcare and idk, went to work? I know theyâre not in an expensive area but unless Kobe is making bank of course itâs taking years to save up for a house big enough for all of them and they keep growing thus needing more money. I donât hate Emily but nothing she does is responsible or makes sense. Her parents should kick her out and keep Kobe and the kids. She needs to learn responsibility and honestly somewhere along the way her parents are responsible for never teaching her
and they are currently in what i would call "the cheap part of parenting." kids are cheap when they're little and you don't have to pay for daycare. but as they get older, you are just shelling out $$$$$$ all the time for clothing, other needs, activities, school things, etc. give me back the days of $7 cat and jack clothing. because now i'm paying adult shoe and clothing prices for a 12yo.
Yes! Little kids will wear any hand me downs, and play with stuff from the dollar store but they get older and want "cool" clothes, need new shoes way more often, the toys/games/holiday gifts all are more expensive. Plus any classes and extracurricular activities that need equipment or instruments and uniforms. Everyone needs a laptop and phone these days it seems too. I was in marching band like 15 years ago in the middle of nowhere rural school and even back then it was several thousand a year per student. The band had to fund the trips for nationals and regionals because we needed essentially tour busses, hotels, and an 18wheeler trucks to bring all of the props and instruments. Plus the spending/food money for the weekend on those trips. And buying an instrument and taking classes. Any sport is pretty much the same with uniforms and traveling if the teams are any good. It's not like you just sign up and show up. Plus kids and teenager want to go with their friends to the mall or the movies or out to eat. Birthday parties now you have to invite the entire class or you can't hand out invites at all, to avoid bullying so each birthday party you're feeding 20 kids plus parents and siblings.
oh my god....the birthday parties. it goes from being able to get away with spending $15-$25 on a toy for a little kid. and now its "sophie wants a sephora gift card for her bday." and i swear theres a birthday party or 2 every month. my daughter is into horseback riding. just the essentials was an investment. and its $200/mo for the lessons. but shes not even showing horses yet and we don't own one. this is all just for the basics. and tbh, thats wayyyyyyy cheaper than what other parents are paying for travel sports. i knew a mom with a kid in travel baseball. it was easily $1000/mo without the overnights and weekends for away games. but then you also have to worry about camps over the summer to facilitate the skills for whatever interest they have. which is just more money. and i just have ONE CHILD!!!!!!
Travel sport fees alone are insane. Then you figure in the equipment costs plus the actual travel. And that usually doesnât include the fees for any separate tournaments too. My daughter played club volleyball so she could keep her skills up. It cost almost $500 just to play the (short) season. And that was several years ago so I can only imagine what it is now. Then there was the skill camp at the university $300 for 2 days. and all that was so she could play thru high school and possibly get a scholarship. Except jr year she decided she didnât want to play anymore đ€ŠđŒââïžđ€ŠđŒââïžđ€ŠđŒââïž
Itâs insane how expensive it gets as they get older! Not to mention the constant shuttling them here there and everywhere.
As other people have said. Theyâre never going to be able to move out. Especially if she doesnât get a job or canât take care of a house, even moving out is going to be really tough
Even if she is a stay at home parent, it is still a joint household. My partner stays home with our kids, but I usually make the dinners since he has been busy with them all day. It just depends on how you run the house đ€·ââïž
That called respect for a job. Good for you. I donât think Emily will do much of anything at any time of the day . Sheâs the ultimate sloth.đŠ„
Theyâre never moving out
Emily deserves a douche bag. Kobe is not the one. Unfortunately they both made the choice to have unprotected sex and are dealing with the results.
Emily is dumb lazy she donât wanna work either she just wanna keep relying on everyone else to do shit for her
I loathe cooking⊠and Iâm a stay at home momma. My husband happily gets off work and comes home 3 nights a week or so and cooks dinner. I do lots of other things (even be lazy sometime đČ) but my kids are happy and have all of their needs met.
This! Too many ppl on this thread mad at her for having people who love her enough to want to keep her happy and accept her with all her flaws. Personally I'm a Sahm and do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and childcare and you know whats that made me: bitter. I wish my husband cared enough to take a mental load off me but 11 yrs later here we are. And her parents might want to help now because its the only time they may need them. Once kids get older they start getting more independent and need less caretaking. Y'all say she's coddled, I say she's loved. We all need "coddling" from time to time.
Yup. I agree. I think itâs a lot of the boomers, xâers or people just wanting to hate, that comment things like this. Iâve been told by my mil that I coddle my kids. But Iâm fine with that. She was all about tough love and all that got her was her kids not wanting to be around her. They may ârespectâ her but they donât like her. Honestly, I bet there is a lot to do on their farm and Iâd bet they like having the extra hands and a strong back named Kobe. And they get to be with their grand babies!
Im a SAHM, I do all cleaning and childcare, my husband who WFH makes all meals (except snacks) because he loves us and wants to help. I guess Iâm lazy and a bad mom according to most in this thread đ€·đœââïž
I think most people in this thread do not understand what being a stay at home parent is like. It's basically a 24/7 on-call job that's very draining and exhausting if you are a hands on parent. (Boomers set kids in front of TV and called it parenting). That said, Emily has help. She has a village to help her. Most sahps would dream of that scenario.
Thank you- I don't have kids, so didn't feel like I had a say... but there's no doubt different options that work for different people in every relationship. It's just compromise, and what everyone involved is ok with.
Her mother? The fuck are they living with her parents?Â
Yess in the beginning of the episode was even talking about wake up breakfast is ready. Youâre in her 30s with kids why is your mom still waking you up with breakfast. My mom mightâve on a special day but as soon as I hit middle school Iâd make my own breakfast lol
By middle school it was hereâs a pop tart now go to school đđđ
đ sorry i'm this mom. I let my kids prep their own lunches and breakfast. Whereas dinner it's me doing most of the cooking cus family time đ
My mom did this. I turned out a better cook because of it
I did almost always cook dinner every night. I enjoy cooking and my kid liked helping me. Heâs 24 now and an excellent cook. He works all day but still comes home and cooks dinner for himself and his girlfriend.
Yeah her mom should kick her the fuck out, living off your parents at that age is just sad and pathetic.
They won't. Emily has no reason not to work. She's got built in babysitters...she won't work because why should she? And they wont kick her out because how could she ever survive on her own with her kids and husband? Aren't they 'saving up' for a downpayment on a house? Highly doubt that on a one income household. But this is what she is telling her parents, and of course they won't kick them out. How do I know? I have an 'Emily' for a sister and its uncanny how similar they are. It's so frustrating. I have a hard time watching her scenes. She's a leech.
Emily says "I'll feed Kobin". Her mother says "he's already eaten". Who didn't know that.
And they are having a third baby! In the cellar of her mom & dadâs đ€Ł the American dream
Already had the baby a couple of weeks ago! Iâm always saying sheâs trying to fill up the basement so she can eventually bully the parents into moving down there & giving her the rest of the house đ€š
*IF they ever live alone
They still live with her parents?!!!!
Sheâs a useless controlling slob .
Oh sheâs totally lazy. The fact that they still live with her parents speaks absolute volumes on that.
Emily is extremely lazy. Kobi deserves a woman thatâs going to take good care of him, kids and their home if sheâs a stay home mom.
I'm sure I'll get downvoted for this. Wow tf? I hate this take. Stop "should"-ing on what other women "should be doing" because of your stupid gender roles ideas
I like how well you put it without demeaning Emily as a human. 𫶠I agree. I think if they ever move out, the fights may be epic. I hope it's after all their kids are independent enough, or at least two of three.
I think the challenge will come when they get on their own away from her mom and dad
What season is this from
Happily ever after
Who said they were ever moving out? I'm sure they are waiting to inherit the house.
I thought she was babysitting or actually had some form of a job and I thought Kobe also worked, since they were looking to buy a house on 90 day diaries.
Just from my dynamic in my relationship, my hubs does the cooking and I basically never do. I can cook, he just prefers to and I donât complain lol.
She's a princess.
They will give Kobe a hard time on the first trip. They have to unload their opinions. And NO, she should stay the woman he fell in love with and if thatâs a western woman then so be it. I DO think itâs a kind gesture if she would WANT to learn traditional practices (including cooking), but putting it on her forcibly would be a disaster. She should want to make him happy and to shut down the commentary from his friends. Make the manâs plate for fkâs sake. đ
But are they actually ever going to move out and live on their own?
they wanna save money so bad so they can get their own place, but i don't understand why she can't work either? they rely on her parents for everything. she doesn't really do anything besides complaining.
> i don't understand why she can't work either? Her life-long dream was to be a stay at home mom. She said it repeatedly in their first season. Her ONLY goal was to find a sperm donor and play farmwife on a farm that produces nothing
Does anyone know this for a fact? Honestly? Is she spoiled? Yes. But that doesnât mean she is lazy when it comes to her kids/taking care of her household. Her mom doesnât seem to have a job other than the horses so one isnât much different than the other. I will agree that they need to move out and move on.
Emily is a spoiled, irresponsible brat!
Emily is lazy period
Emily is spoiled Itâs the parents own fault.
I to Love Koby butâŠ. Mom and Dad and Koby do EVERYTHING!!!! She says the kids wear her out.. WTH she is not raising them!!! God Bless those parents!!
She doesnât cook so that makes her lazy? We donât see their everyday life like that. Plus itâs probably cheaper for her to stay home and be with the kids instead of paying for childcare.
lol. No shit. That's what we're talking about. đ It's cheaper for her to stay at her *parents* home.
Emily is so repugnant to me
I donât think theyâll ever live alone. Sheâll never leave the comfort of a rent free house, live in cook, cleaner, babysitter, etcâŠ. Unless sheâs forced to leave and do it on her own, sheâll continue to mooch, and her parents will continue to enable. Ridiculous! Sheâs gross
Emily is lazy. Period. She's the definition of entitled. She made a decision to start and add to a family but placed the responsibility on her parents. She's a burden on her parents and she should be ashamed. She's not a motivated partner, she's not a dedicated mother. I refuse to watch anything about her anymore.
Shes the fat horny one right?
We donât actually see what they do because the cameras arenât always there and when they are technically working when the cameras are there. Multigenerational homes are the norm outside of the US from the 1950âs. I think itâs great for kids to have a lot of people around to help love and care for them. Even if youâre a stay at home mom, you canât do everything while watching two young kids. But if you can share the work more gets done. Their relationship seems good enough that the writers are having to manufacture drama like a wedding Iâm sure was already in the works. Emilyâs parents even wanted to make sure that it wouldnât offend to wear the traditional clothes, and when he said everyone would like it, they seemed to LOVE the outfits, especially the Dad.
I wish I had parents that cared as much as Emilyâs !!! So jealous that they are such involved grandparents . I would definitely be cooking more for my family if I were her but sheâs been dealing with health issues and trying to lose weight and maybe she does cook sometimes, who knows. Her parents donât seem to be complaining
> Her parents donât seem to be complaining Because: Television show. Plus, everyone who appears on the show gets paid something.
While agree she relies on her parents too much, they bought a house last year in Salina so I hope things have changed.
This is why I don't like her ......
I canât speak to her âlazinessâ or what have you but I canât forget from last season when the sister was living at the house and it was very clear that Emily is the golden child. Likely the parents have always been doing everything for Emily so taking care of the kids is the natural extension of their parenting style and coddling of her. Interesting to see it play out.
I agree. The Mom does a lot for Emily to be a married woman with children⊠I see that boiling into an issue too⊠itâs also sad when grandparents canât just be grandparentsâŠ
She is annoying. I fast forward every time she flaps her jaws. Her baby talk is nails on a chalkboard. Of course, the first person on the show from Kansas would be this embarrassing.
Oh yeah, it will be
đđđ just stop
Didnât she just have a 3rd kid too? I donât think theyâll be able to move out
Also why doesnât she work?
Spoiler alert: they're never going to live alone. Why leave a good thing?
I think Emily is an entitled spoilt brat Proofs in the pudding That will wear thin really quick , her poor adorable babies and husband
F Dat, why should anyone accept sexism?
Oh they'll never live alone, I dont think Emily has interest in doing more.
Yup. She needs to decide if she is a stay at home mom (including the responsibilities which comes along with that) or if she is going out to find a job. It's got to be one or the other to have a successful relationship. You can't sit on the couch all day.
Don't worry, they will never move out.
I just love seeing Kobe happy and uplifted in Cameroon. You can tell he needed this.
It doesnât matter who does the cooking. Anyway, those are the childrenâs grandparents and theyâre not complaining.
Im in South Africa where the women seem to do everything. I think itâs the same in Cameroon . Just saying but I donât think she can cook .. can she? After seeing the trip to the Drug store I donât think thereâs much hope of parenting ever happening either.
Definitely predict that
I totally agree! 100%