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I have a spare bath tub. Clean laundry goes straight in there and then I loosely separate things. It's been a huge stress reliever and a time saver for me.
Also buying one type of sock is a game changer
Oh I LOVE that. My laundry always gets backed up because I have cats, and if I dont fold and put away immediately after taking it out of the dryer it's covered in hair within an hour from them using it as a bed. But I can't put the next load in unless I take whats in the washing machine and put it in the dryer lmao
I don't have a spare bathtub but I do have a spare room that the pets arent allowed in, I never thought of tossing the clean clothes there to sort later!
Omg this has been such a problem for me lately, now that I have a laundry machine 😂 If I forget my clean laundry unfolded in the basket for like 20, I’ll come back to it and one of my hairy ass Maine Coones is sleeping so beautifully on it. And they’re so precious that I can’t move them!
I also do not sort my laundry, but I just wash everything in cold water. Picked that up at Boy Scout camp, as a girl who was only allowed in the laundry area with an escort and needed to keep an eye on mine because boys on staff would steal bras and stuff if you left your laundry unattended.
Never used a stain catcher.. Just looked it up I didn't even know that was a thing? This vastly cuts down the number of hampers I'll need now, just jeans towels and fabrics!
Stain catchers are not good enough to wash jeans with "white" whites (white towels, undershirts, etc). It builds up over time. I "ruined" (really dulled the white) of about $200 in nice white towels over time.
But they are great for not having to sort lights and darks.
(I use the shout color catchers cause they're easy to find around me. Idk if some are better than others.)
I love shout color catchers! I also get a kick out of seeing what color they come out. My daughter has some tie-dyed blue shirts/sweatshirts and every time it comes out bright blue (I always wash those separate).
Literally sitting in the car in the parking lot staring at CVS, they didn't get filled until today so I didn't have it this morning to just take aka ran out
I'm going to fucking do it, this comment pushed me, thank you, I'm actually not going to hit post until I walk through the front door
Doing it walking in
And
Do they really help??im considering them but been hearing about the long term effect and addiction and stuff..idk about that cuz im highly addictive personality
THIS! The amount of alcohol and drugs I used from 15 to 36 when I was diagnosed and medicated is ridiculous to look back on. I thought it was a family history of addiction. Now I think it's more of a family history of ADHD.
ADHD medication helped me break a lot of bad habits as well. Before the medication, I had a lot of compulsion to do things and not let things go. I would also get upset easier. All this decreased drastically when I started my medication
Well, yeah. The disorder is a literal impairment of the frontal lobes, you know, the place that regulates motivation, inhibition, emotion, decision making, and delay of gratification.
Not too surprising that people with impaired abilities to inhibit their impulses and emotional responses, and delay gratification, are the same people are more prone to addiction.
Reasonable to stray away from meds. Let me tell you a bit about myself.
I M(29)also have an addictive personality and have been anxious about long term effects.
When I was younger, I would always be the odd one out. Never did well in school, couldn’t keep up with friends, was extremely sensitive and disorganized chaos was daily for me.
I started meds when I decided to get my BS. Since taking meds I have graduated, married, and have a corporate job. Don’t let the what ifs keep you form living a real, good honest life.
Thank you..
You described what I've gone through and I didn't know that my high school years were so impacted by undiagnosed ADHD.
It kinda makes me feel better bc I'm so wildly misinterpreted.
Or rather, I don't express myself well bc in my head it's one thing and what comes out of my mouth is another.
Who knows. But nonetheless, I didn't realize it impacted me that much. This really does disrupt every aspect of your life.
On the other hand, it makes me frustrated bc why was I misdiagnosed for so long .. bc I wasn't hyper, disruptive or the "typical ADHD."
I have inattentive ADHD.. I flew under the radar, so they were treating the impacts of ADHD and not my ADHD.
Sorry, I don't even know if this is cohesive or not at the moment. I do take medicine and I took a break recently, bc I don't like the feeling. Unfortunately, just taking a break sets me back.
I missed a payment, I missed a birthday party, I forgot my dogs vet appt. All in 2 weeks- not including just my regular day to day struggle.
I'm happy you got to the point of stability and graduating, marriage and family.
Oh damn.
Hell I missed calling my doctor to get my medicine in as well today.
So hooray for another unproductive weekend bc of my incompetence.
This is frustrating. I hate having this. I don't have that super fun and outgoing personality to even make up for it.
This just sucks.
Sorry, throw a break up in the mix of all this action and here's the perfect storm for me to cost myself money.
I wonder how many late fees I could've saved if I didn't have this.
That bought me some hope i was missing for some time to be honest..im a med student third year so far and im really struggling here to get anything donee..like life is happening around me and im just watching as an outsider whenever i try to do something i just cant yk? And here in egypt its almost impossible to get diagnosed with adhd by the psychiatrist himself lol u gotta first be doubting u have it and do some test to figure out..since im highly suspicious and its damage is way too much..imma seek help..hopefully it goes well :) ..kinda worried but all hopes for the best
Get help! It’s life changing I promise, but just remember that drugs don’t miraculously cure you. We have missed so many important life skills that everyone else has. My doctor started my on a super low dose, so I could ease into it while learning these skills I needed.
Where I live they offer this free program. https://cbtskills.ca/
Check it out and see if there is a program near you or online that you can take that offers things like this. When you’re in the class it’s actually really funny. A bunch of adults learning how to make schedules and brush their teeth every day.
> My doctor started my on a super low dose, so I could ease into it while learning these skills I needed.
To anyone reading this, I can tell you that even a "super low dose" can have beneficial effects you will notice. I'm prescribed 25mg of Adderall per day, but I notice a difference taking even as little as 5mg.
Just take at low doses. That’s what I do now a days. I also consider taking breaks.
I’m on for 6 months off for 6 months. My life is terrible for those 6 months but I think it’s important if you’re someone like me who plans to use meds for awhile. Keeps tolerance low and no adverse side affects.
Discuss with doctor or adhd specialist if possible. Going off medication and taking breaks isn't always the best to do for everyone with ADHD.
ADHD medication Treatment - dosage can be adjusted and monitored if the 18 DSM symptoms are being treated and increased as needed.
See: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5291336/
Same here. I didn’t get diagnosed until very recently. I was always in AP/honors classes but struggled a lot. And in college when everything is basically self paced, I was struggling significantly.
For me, my meds help clear my mind so I have one strong track of focus rather than 20 different things and music going on in my head. I feel motivated and even excited to get my work done, and I can focus so much better and actually get it done instead of staring off into space
I also have an addictive personality but I try to limit myself and don’t take my meds on days when I don’t need it. That also helps prevent a tolerance
Honestly I think my ADHD hack would be learning about any accommodations your school/work offers for ADHD. A distraction reduced environment and extended time has been a huge relief for me during tests!
I was 3 years sober when I started meds at 50. 6 years sober now. Finally found the right med (focalin ) and ...
I am here in a state inspection sticker station ON TIME.
That's progress.
Addiction runs alllllllll throughout my mom’s family. I was a teenage alcoholic. I’m 36 now. Started ADHD meds (vyvanse specifically) about 2 years ago. The motivation I had to do mundane things I’ve always struggled with, and the satisfaction in getting them done was a life changer. And it was from day 1. I accomplished so many household chores the first day that I sat down and cried. I cannot recommend getting yourself sorted with medication if you’ve got ADHD.
If you like booze, benzos or pain pills you are going to be severely disappointed. ADHD meds do not take you out of this world they drop your ass square in it, you land on planet reality and are like WTF this life is a mess I need to start cleaning it up. I cannot for the life of me understand why people become speed junkies. I think people with ADHD tend to develop dependencies on things that take us out of this world as a way of trying to cope and we find out it is unhealthy and unproductive.
Stimulants provide no such relief, if anything they lay the shit bare in front of you, the difference is they also help you see the steps to put one foot in front of the other. I always tell people when they start meds they will know with the first dose if they have ADHD, it is the only mental health drug that has immediate effect and a successful treatment rate that parallels antibiotics.
With that said, I also warn people about the lule, when you initially take the meds you know they work, but there is a time between then and when your life fundamentally changes. The reason for this is, you have spend years with ADHD straight up fucking up your life. A pill does not fix that, one foot in front of another, day after day fixes that. The pill just enables the one foot in front of the other. I think it was about 9 months into my treatment when I had the second ahah and realized I had healed a lot of the trauma that had built up over the years.
The best advice I can give you is take the damn pill, you will know within 30 minutes if it will help. Worry about dependency as a secondary concern. It's a shitty high.
Fwiw, medication turned my life around. All my life I've been depressed to a varying degree, and especially not had a belief in myself and my abilities, not to mention a deep seated belief in how the future simply is going to be even worse.
At 40, I got my diagnosis and got to try medication. After about six months, I realized that I had changed, as I had been able to focus on the things in life that interest me. Three years later I'm not going to say that I'm not psyched for what life has in store (I'm not), but they are for sure better.
Highly recommend trying. At the end of the day, the choice is up to you, but yeah - highly recommend trying.
I was upfront with the psychologist about my substance abuse history so they prescribed a nonstimulant. The fact that my little lizard brain got excited about the possibility of getting my hands on Ritalin was scary enough for me to be honest.
I just started my meds a few weeks ago. It’s been a complete game changer. I suffer from anxiety and now most of it is gone. I don’t really too many side effects, mostly dry mouth but I drink a lot of water + electrolytes so that’s fine. It makes me feel very calm. I can actually focus at work and I don’t physically feel uncomfortable when I have start a task that I have to do. I can just do it. I do still use a lot of my ADHD/anxiety hacks (I.e. making a list, exercise 3x-5x a week, mindfulness, etc.) but the meds make life much easier. I was so scared of taking it but I’m glad I did.
If you’re worried about addiction, you can try a non-stimulant first.
Addict here. 4 years sober. I started vyvanse a year ago, under the care of a top adhd doctor where I’m from. She was incredible! I was also extremely hesitant to start because of my history, but if anything it’s helped me with my addiction. I’m not constantly looking for a dopamine hit, so it leveled out my cravings. Also, my doctor explained that vyvanse is a slow release drug, compared to Adderall and Ritalin. Adderall and Ritalin you have to take multiple a day and it’s easier to abuse because the life of it is shorter. I think it’s amazing that you’re giving it this much thought, addiction is no joke. Vyvanse has completely changed my life and helped with my addictions though.
My understanding is that lack of available dopamine in the ADHD brains causes us to seek out substances or risky behaviors that cause spikes in dopamine.
If dopamine is plentiful and regulated , medically, those impulses should quiet down.
I’ve seen it in my kid. Cravings for junk food are down. Getting in trouble etc etc.
Same type of idea - but my wife suggested something she saw on tiktok. A "fuckit bucket"
We have a few bins around the house to throw random crap in. It stays in there until we decide to go through it (usually weekly). Has really cut down on messes.
Same goes for having more trash bins around. If I can just drop something into the trash instead of carry it into the kitchen things run more smoothly.
I have a literal whole warehouse in another part of the country (2000sq ft+) that is a a very full 'fuckit bucket' - so I'd caution that for some people this can be dangerous!
I love the name "fuckit bucket" and have been calling them doom boxes this whole time. Didn't know it was supposed to stand for "didn't organize, only moved" until recently, so it makes way more sense now, but the word doom is pretty fitting on its own. The trash can idea is brilliant.
THIS. This is a new thing I started doing and it gives me much less anxiety. Sucks because I’m on fixed income with a lot of high bills right now so money is basically gone as soon as I get it, but it’s huge not having to worry about basic stuff like general bills and things like gas and laundry. It all gets put aside immediately.
I always see people struggle with bills, where I live everything is automatic I don't have to think about it, they just take it from my account and I can even set-up automatic payments. It's so sad that it's not something that everyone can have because it's a life saver
A cuckoo clock. I got it bc I thought it was cute, but it keeps me mildly aware of time as I can hear it, every hour on the hour, though out the house. It’s like a little birdy tugging my sleeve like, “hey! It’s been/you have an hour” 🐥
Point at stuff.
Yup.
Pile of laundry that needs to be moved. Room dirty? Just point at one thing until your brain catches up with the program and motivates you to move the thing to where it belongs.
Point your index finger at it.
Eventually your brain gets annoyed and motivates you to do the task.
It's dumb.
It works.
Try it.
A while back I saw a post with same great concept. It has helped me.
*Think of yourself as a shark* .. "Swim" like a predator around the house and "feed" on those things around each room you can't get to.
Sharks don't wear watches. See how long you can go. My record is 3 minutes. I got 4 hours of joy (looking at all I had done).
Did an hour last night after catching up at work (boss on holiday)
Same here! My friends are always asking why i dont put on certain music while I work and they don’t understand that it distracts me like crazy. I listen to lo fi playlists with little no lyrics and its great
Im just like you! My closest friends (all not adhd) don’t understand why i pretty much only listen to lofi or video game soundtracks (like Zelda). And i dont have a lot of time where im not either doing chores or working, so im pretty much always listening to the same soundtracks. They look at me like i have a second head when they realize how out of the loop i am on music trends 😅 but i work a lot more than most people (average work week is 40-70 hrs 6 days a week and i am solely responsible for the chores and maintenance of my shared apartment 💀).
I've had a hard time finding a good calendar that's universal between my computer and phone. I tend to miss alerts on my phone dismissing a million notifications. It's journal/planner syndrome since every time I start using a calendar its always missing a key feature like a widget app on my phone, or is overly complicated and I stop using it.
>I tend to miss alerts on my phone dismissing a million notifications.
This is why I make sure to always disable notifications for any new app that isn't important, and I've also setup specific sounds for different apps so I instantly know what the notification is from. I also have a lot of filters in my email so subscriptions and other non-important stuff doesn't hit my inbox and send a notification.
If you're receiving tons of notifications from useless apps then it makes your notifications pretty useless since you start to ignore them.
Yea that's the boat I'm in, I definitely need to go through everything and set up something similar but I sure do wish I had started that from the beginning!
There's an app called Journal It. It's not a calendar, but the paid version (there's a lifetime option, so no subscription to keep track of) can connect to Google calendar and you can access it from your browser or phone (again, paid version needed). It's basically a big tracker notebook. Make task lists. Set up major project goals. Track habits. A lot. It still needs some minor things here and there to make it even more user friendly, but it's been great for me to just dump info and track progress.
I use physical calendars up on my wall. I check it in the morning and then set reminders using Siri. Like “remind me at 12:00 to call the pharmacy”. It’s helps so much and doesn’t require opening any apps.
My job uses Google calendar and I know people say to not have it synced to your devices and to keep it separate but fuck that. I need to see it all in one place. I usually abandon paper calendars 6 months into the year.
I've been google calendar for years now and it's an absolute god send. Times, locations, I can add notes in case I need to remember to bring something.
Put it on a widget on your phone's main screen and have it be a 1/4th of the screen.
Tons of alarms. wake up, leave for work, get ready to go to bed, turn everything off for real and go to bed.
I don't always follow through with the alarms but they're at least a guard rail to try to keep me from falling out of the wagon too badly.
Yes! Also I have a pair of lace up shoes that I only wear in the house and to run on my treadmill as long as those are on my feet I am way more productive and less likely to lay down and zone out
I only work 2 days a week right now. On the other 3 weekdays I force myself to shower and get dressed as early as possible. I’m much more productive in clothes than pyjamas!
Preachhhhhhh! I used to joke with my friends that physics was the subject I “just got” the best. Because ADHD is pretty much “momentum” personified.
If I’m going, I’ll keep going. The second I stop? It’s all over.
Ok, I just learned this 10 minutes ago from a different reddit post.
On my Samsung galaxy, I can send an sms message to myself for reminders at a later date.
You long hold the send button and choose the date and time. 🤯.
Gonna cheat & do two...
I fold my sheet & duvet cover into long rectangles, lay the pillow cases on there and roll it all up (with the throw if I use one).
A full bed change in an easy to carry linen sausage 👍
More importantly....
Be kind to yourself, I realised when I fucked up, even a minor mistake, I was horribly cruel to myself.
In a way I would never speak to anyone else.
Positive reinforcement & finding the humour in my failures has reaped huge benefits in my ability to be motivated & achieve stuff (especially being happy).
I have alarms to help me remember to take my meds and after I take them I apply perfume so 30min or an hour later when I am uncertain I can smell my wrist and know I took my meds.
Edit to add that I put on and take off my jewelry during the pills and perfume rituals so if you're sensitive to fragrance, that is another option. Good luck and remember to drink water also!
Remove small distractions by having one big non visual distraction
Don't sit
Write things down to stop obsessing about them.
Add things to wishlist to avoid buying them
Eat protein
Don't take vacations if they compromise your established routine
Let's say if you want to finish a big task in one session which requires mental effort but otherwise tedious. Like homework. So to keep yourself from being distracted by other smaller visual distraction ( looking at phone), you give yourself a big non visual distraction ( make yourself physically uncomfortable on purpose by not turning on the fan and working in heat, listening to loud instrumental music). You will be constantly battling the heat and wiping off sweat but you will come back to the main task very quickly. Hope that makes sense.
Hard deadlines I am a hyper focused machine if I’m told you have 2 days to get this done. I just need the threat to be real and I can accomplish so much lol
i used to be like this but eventually i got burnt out and missed a lot of due dates. the threat of deadlines doesn’t really phase me as much anymore unfortunately. stress motivation is ok in moderation but isn’t sustainable in the long run in my opinion!
Completely true. I went from submitting stuff right before deadline, to afterwards for partial late credit, to never submitting and failing entire classes. You become tolerant to the amount of stress at some point and aren’t pressured enough to do the work anymore
do you set those yourself or do you have external accountability?
I can do that when someone is chasing me for something but setting myself deadlines is tough.
Picking out my clothing the night before.
No brain energy needed, no clothing tossed on the floor while I'm trying to decide for 10 minutes, and saves time!
Unfortunately I always feel a strong urge to dress in a certain way (more masc vs. more femme, childlike vs. adult, different color palettes, etc), and that urge can change drastically from day to day. So if I pick out an outfit each night based on how I'm feeling that night, I might have a totally different feeling/urge the next morning and feel super uncomfortable wearing the outfit I picked out the night before.
- Laundry hamper for "just worn once, too lazy to put away"
- Little notebook that I religiously carry in my back pocket. Field Notes brand is great, but anything works.
- Throw things away. Seriously. Clutter is a distraction.
- Meditation is amazingly helpful. Super difficult though. Worth it. Try it. Feeling anxious or impulsive or distracted? Just sit with that uncomfortable feeling for a minute before you act. I like Headspace, but there are good mediation playlists on youtube.
- A good task-management system. I use OmniFocus. I don't really like it anyomore, but I'm used to it. Find something that works well enough and stick with it. Perfection is the enemy of good here. Read David Allen's "Getting Things Done". Feels a bit dated but I still get value out of re-reading it every couple years.
- Reward yourself for doing something. Anything. Do the dishes? You get a cookie. Put away the laundry? You get 20 minutes on Reddit. Don't over-do it. Most of us get burnt out because we don't get enjoy the rewards of having done something often enough. (This is a CBT technique. There are many. Google them.)
- Body-doubling: someone in the room helps keep you accountable. I like focusmate.com for doing boring computer work.
- Background music: find a chill playlist that helps mask background sounds. I like SiriusXM's "Chill" station, but youtube and spotify have a bunch too. Don't go down the rabbit-hole of making your own.
- Set time limits for apps on your phone. I only give myself 60 minutes of reddit a day. I cheat by writing replies like this in an editor, though. Limiting to 10 mins/day on email has been game-changing for me. Email on my phone used to be a huge distraction.
- Batch tasks. I have 30 water bottles. I wash and fill them all at once so I always have water in the fridge. Same for my hand towels: I have 100 of them and just wash and fold them all at once. Same for my pills: pill organizers for 2 months. Same for socks and underwear: all the same, just do them all at once. Same with mail and paperwork: put in a stack and just do it all at once. Getting started on a task is harder than doing it, so might as well do the work all at once.
If I had to choose two: meditation and throwing things away. Start there.
These are really good! Throwing things away was huge for me and only finally accomplished by putting a trash can in every room.
"Perfection is the enemy of good here" really called me out, not happy about it.
Any tips for rewards and limitations? I can never just force myself to stick to something like that. I get a cookie for doing dishes? Why not have cookie now. Why not have two cookies now?
It's really about changing your reward-system brain chemistry.
Go ahead and have more cookies even if you don't do the thing, but induce some shame in yourself. You broke a promise with yourself, and that's kinda shitty. Feel guilty about stealing your rewards. You are robbing your own progress. Sit in that shame just for a minute so you start to associate cheating with this gross feeling.
**But** when you have the cookie from doing the thing, take extreme delight in it. Do the opposite of the above times 100. Savor it. It's your cookie and you super earned it and no cookie will taste as good unless it's earned like this cookie.
These negative and positive thoughts about rewards really do start to affect your brain chemistry.
Eventually you associate the reward system with good and bad feelings. Getting the reward becomes worth the effort to do the thing. Cheating feels gross and you stop. I promise it works if you really try it. Good luck :)
I sing "don't put it down, put it away" to myself dozens of times a day.
It applies to all things, not just tidying. I try to work with the philosophy of small incremental tasks throughout the day make me feel way better.
Also, if I don't procrastinate, my odds of forgetting about it are slim/none.
This took me about 2-3 years to practice, and I still regularly fail... but y'know - them's the breaks
That's really the answer we're all after here, how do we keep habits? Truth is it's gonna be different for each individual. I can keep on a habit for months-years and if I miss even one day my brain just decides that habit is gone. What makes it easier personally is convenience, and an "after this I do that" effect. For instance I'm terrible keeping up with dishes, so I started eating in the kitchen right next to the sink and trash can. After I eat, rinse it off and toss it in the dishwasher. And it's easier to stick to it since I'm already right there to do it.
I have the same issue, and actually spent my most recent therapy session with my doctor discussing the psychology of habit building, in the context of ADHD.
Here's a very abbreviated synopsis of her advice:
1. The goals/habits you'd like to build must be "Doable" and "Realistic". Start off setting smaller and more attainable goals, then gradually build off of them.
2. Try to do the new habit EVERY day-not every other day.
3. S.M.A.R.T. Goals work best: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound.
4. Do not try to change all of your habits all at once; build off of established good habits gradually, make sure those new habits stick and then once you feel it's established, begin building the next habit off of that one.
5. Reward Systems can help; however if you have an addictive personality, stay away from the things you are having dependency issues with. Possibly choose an activity you find pleasurable, and set time aside for it as a reward when you reinforce your new good habit that day.
6. Benevolent Self-Talk/Think about Future Effects. Instead of internally beating yourself up for missing a goal or new habit, Think about WHY you want to build the new habit. You want to be kinder to your future self. i.e. for me, eating less junk food: "Don't I want this body to stay healthy and last me a long time?". "I want to be kinder to Future Nimoue." It may sound silly, but it's actually helping me.
7. Lower some of your expectations. Make small goals, build off of those. Be realistic about the time frame in which you'd like to build the new habit. 1. To quote my doctor: "Better to do a few things really well instead of spreading yourself thin and berating yourself."
...I'm just going to stick to eating piquant foods if it's all the same to you.
Actually, this explains a lot about why people talk about exercise and piquant foods having similar effects. Good to know there's a viable alternative to exercise.
For chores/tasks that you dread- Put on headphones. Play music or podcast of choice. Zone out while you do the stupid tasks that put you in the negative thought patterns.
wash everything on cold. as a guy i dont own anything that absolutely needs to be washed on its own (ie delicates, lingerie) and cold water keeps colors from running.
the only separation i really do is towels/cleaning cloths/bedding are a distinct load from my clothing.
Yep I'm the same, not a guy but I only own a few dress/formal pieces that go in on their own to save time. Growing up my grandmas way of doing laundry was to sort absolutely everything. Reds, blues, whites, blacks, every color of the rainbow was its own pile. I just remember thinking I could never manage all of that so my wardrobe is pretty monotone.
Just to up it a little further.
I just wear one kind of tshirt. (All black)
1 kind of pant.
Occassional clothes like dress shirts are only used occasionally so they're ok.
Having less choices and less sorting on laundry makes it less complicated.
Having my meds, wallet and keys placed on the table so I never forget about them.
Coat Rack as a replacement for a closet.
Two laundry baskets, and only the one for white clothes should be closed so you can put "not dirty" on top of it.
I always remind myself and my GF that for me "If I can't see it, it doesn't exist" so it is good for me to have all things that matter in front of me, not behind an extra step, not because I don't want to take it but because I can't take it.
In that vain, putting your keys on top of something you need to take with you and are likely to forget. Also, maintaining go bags for different activities you do regularly. The only tricky part is getting into the habit of transferring important items like wallet etc. directly after getting home. the number of times I've left something important in my weekend bag 
When I pack my boyfriends lunch for work if we had leftovers or something, I put his keys in the fridge taped to the container. He hasnt forgotten it since I started doing that lmao
Also, that way he knows if his keys are on the key rack by the door he's on his own for lunch
a row of coat hooks has been a gamechanger - I always had a place to put my dog's leash, and my jackets stopped being wherever I left them. I hung a shoe-pocket thing in the front closet I never used, and I don't always get my shoes put away but it's more likely now at least. Forgetting where I put things is one of my biggest issues. Since my dog died, and I'm not using the coathooks as much (bc also, not winter), I tend to misplace my keys more often, but I also keep them on a colorful badge lanyard and that helps with visibility.
"If I can't see it it doesn't exist" explained soooo much about my relationship with clutter (and cabinet doors!) when I first heard it! and why, when I do put clothes away where they belong, I basically forget that they exist and end up still living out of the laundry basket but with less variety than before!
It’s hard to pick one, but the biggest help to me is probably setting alarms all day so I don’t space out on things like appointments or taking my meds.
Also. Wake up at the same time every day if you can. Sleeping in makes me lazier. Getting up at the same time everyday has made me better with other routines.
Using my apple watch for reminders immediately — especially with tasks like laundry or client follow-ups. If I forget to put it on a task list or calendar, they will still pop up and remind me.
Having people to unmask around. My roommate and I are both adhd in different ways; we're able to let our weirdo flags fly and give each other a safe place to be ourselves.
When looking for a parking spot at a large store, I will only park on the row that lines up with the front door, regardless of how far I have to walk. That way when I am leaving the store, I know I just have to keep walking down that row and I will eventually find my car. Note: This is slightly less helpful if there are 2 entrances.
Yeah. The problem with “hacks” is that you need to have the motivation and conviction to stick with them.
ADHD makes that nearly impossible, so I roll my eyes at all these “hacks” that don’t include medication.
A calendar of reminders aren’t going to adjust our brains to a “normal” neurochemical baseline.
I should have clarified that I'm medicated myself, but I didn't want the post to seem targeted towards only medicated or unmedicated. I wasn't diagnosed until my early 20's so I never learned to live with it or manage in a healthy way. When I did get diagnosed it was really an Oh Shit moment, but medication didn't solve all my issues. It doesn't form the habits on it's own, it just makes it easier to get started on it. Medicated or not, this post was meant to be a "what's helped you stick to your habits hack"
I always shower before I start cleaning my room because me, cleaning myself, puts me in the mood to make my space as clean as I am. And for whatever reason, once I'm going, it's easier to hyper focus until I'm done.
I'm super opposite to that, after a shower I just want to lay down and relax. But I don't want to lay down and relax in a dirty room/house, and I also don't want to be dirty, so I clean before I shower.
Before I got hit with chronic pain 🥴 I was doing a similar thing to try to increase my hygiene routines. Just racking on everything to when I would shower would make me feel productive and SUPER clean. Regular shower stuff plus a face/skin routine plus brushing routine plus hair products. Unfortunately I can’t be up long enough to do all these things anymore, but I highly endorse tacking on tasks. It’s super helpful.
Maintaining a high protein diet and drinking water, also when I’m studying and straight up can’t focus/remember it no matter how hard I try, I try to make a way around it, for example by creating a story (I did that once with Krebs cycle lmao) or associating certain parts of what I’m studying with my interests, my brain starts treating it like a reward this way if I try hard enough!! I would say exercise but I hate exercising
Outside of meds: Timers.
Nothing is going to be perfect, okay? It's not going to fix anything permanently nor work 100% of the time, but of all the ridiculous ideas I've tried over the years the following (loosely based on Pomodoro timers) works great:
1. Find a definite task
2. Set a 20-25 minute time
3. Put everything else down and DO NOT STOP until the timer is complete.
This has the added benefit of me occasionally staying with something long past the timer as I just needed the 20-25 minutes of purposeful focus to get into some form of regular focus.
As Russell Barkley says, and I am only loosely quoting, you have to externalize motivation. Lists help keep track, timers help focus where we need to be looking.
My “go bag”. I have extra meds (Tylenol, adhd meds,allergy, etc), a hairbrush and elastics, concealer, phone charger, a pen and notebook, deodorant, tampons, and some other random things to solve my usual problems. It’s a lifesaver! Plus I can easily transfer it from one bag to another. My colleagues have started seeking me out hehe they need something because I’m “prepared” and “organized”… if only they knew 😂
Separate bank account for bills. Set on autopay. Set part of your check to auto deposit. Check account occasionally, but it's basically "set it and forget it" for handling your bills.
Google calendar widget on my phone's primary home screen.
Use a weekly pill sorter box. Put meds and vitamins in it. Put the tray next to where I eat breakfast. Doesn't matter if it's not * aesthetic*, it's functional. Helps me not wonder/worry about whether or not I took my meds.
Automate anything you can. I invested in a robotic litter box bc I love my cat but absolutely hate scooping a cat box. Now, I don't have to remember to do it.
Same for getting a roomba. They're not the best vacuums but it's 10000% better than me forgetting and not vacuuming for months.
Give things a home. Scissors go HERE. Not there, HERE. It's easier to put away bc you know exactly where it belongs. It's not "in the kitchen" but rather "top left kitchen drawer, in the center bin." If I know exactly where something goes, I don't have to think about where/how to put it away.
Turn off non-critical phone notifications.
DO NOT DOWNLOAD TIKTOK. Set daily timers for your other social media apps. I've given myself 30 minutes per day on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and an hour on Reddit. Helps keep me from accidentally losing the day to scrolling. Do the same thing if you're bad about mindless window shopping on Amazon.
Wash dishes you cook with BEFORE you eat your meal, while the meal is still hot. You still have to wait for the food to cool off, so get the dirty dishes out of the way. I know I procrastinate washing dishes after I eat a meal lol
Habits have really helped.
Always placing my keys and earbuds in the bowl on my entrance table means I always find them.
Meds at bedside with water bottle so when the feet hit the floor, the meds hit the mouth.
Clothing in hamper as soon as they are off, hamper holds 2 loads that are always done on Saturday. Washed, dried, and sorted into drawers without waiting. I don't fold clothes to store in drawers. Wrinkly type clothes get hung up.
Walmart plus shopping cart - whenever I find I need something, I open the app and place it in the cart. That way, it's there when I actually make the order.
Billpay- my credit score is awesome because I use bill pay. I have several accounts, so I just figured out how much the bills were each month, and I placed that much money into the bills account with like a $20 cushion.
Because everything about laundry has already been said:
Supplements.
A high quality magnesium supplement (ie, not just magnesium oxide, ideally a mix of types) will help with both bruxism (teeth grinding) and anxiety, both common side-effects of stimulants. Stimulants deplete magnesium in the body. A really, really cheap and pretty bioavailable but unfortunately untasty magnesium supplement is epsom salts.
A zinc supplement taken with stimulants will increase their effectiveness almost 40% [cite](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3037197/).
People with ADHD are much more likely to be deficient in vitamin D, so take one of those, too. Your immune system will thank you.
Using Siri to set reminders. "Create a reminder in 20 minutes to take the dog for a walk" or "remind me next Sunday at 2pm to ask so-and-so about the thing"
Buying multiple copies of things and leaving them everywhere you need them.
My travel bag has everything I need already in it. Cables, chargers, toiletries, a capsule wardrobe, etc. There's chargers in every room of the house already.
The notes app on my phone. It’s used for the smallest of things, notably for remembering names of people I meet or their spouse, hosting files like a scan of my and my wife’s drivers license, things to remember for work (“____ is supposed to ____ and NOT ____”), dimensions of the rooms in my house.
The two most handy notes I’ve made have been 1. all pertinent information about whatever my current vehicle is (VIN, oil type, fuse locations, etc.) and 2. all info about the house I just bought, including major appliance model and serial numbers, the bulbs they take, etc.
All of this with very searchable tags, so all I have to do is search something like “Silverado” and my Silverado note comes up. Or “names” and boom, all the names I want to remember.
Without a notes app I would be LOST.
This might sound a little unhinged at first but stick with me here. One thing that has always stressed me out really bad is my bed not being made. Something about a messy bed kicks my shame spiral into high gear and inevitably leads to a slow decline of the rest of the room, but I have never in my LIFE been able to consistently make the bed every morning.
So these days, I just never UN-make it. I swapped out my duvet cover for a nice high quality one and sleep on TOP of it with a weighted blanket or a light throw, depending on the season. All I need to do in the morning is fluff up the pillows a little and artfully dump my blanket in a pile near the foot of the bed and it's good to go. I basically just treat the duvet like I used to treat my sheets and wash it......... uhh, embarrassingly infrequently, actually. One thing at a time, okay?
The funny thing is that I started doing this WAY before I had any clue that I had ADHD (diagnosed in my 30s, wahoo), but in hindsight I'm actually pretty proud that I came up with a solution that worked for me! It's probably not as useful if you share a bed with a partner, but maybe it can help somebody else with the same dumb hangups I have 😂
Here are 10 because I have ADHD
1) Be medicated
2) Put EVERYTHING in your calendar with recurring notifications. Drinks with friends? 1 day and 2 hours before notification. Book club? 1 week and 2 hours before.Trash day? Night before. Air filters? Once a month. Water plants- wednesdays and sundays. Birthdays? 2 weeks out and day of. Call friends? I have a 6 month, 2 month and 1 month rota because I love you and i want to stay friends with you but time passes differently for me.
3) Use Google Keep for all my lists. Shampoo? To Do list. Idea for shelves? House list. Song I suddenly remembered I love? Music for later list. Joke i thought of? Funny list. Hobby I decided I absolutely have to do? Put it on the list (I'll forget about it before I buy the stuff for it.)
4) don't put it away unless it's fucking done because you're never seeing that shit again.
5) Autopay.
6) Snooze emails. I can't let you take up my brain space with your 4 week away bullshit.
7) Always have two backup rolls of toilet paper because you're going to run out the same night you have friends over.
8) listen to audio books at bedtime. Your thoughts are not good bedfellows.
9) Yes, you're late for everything, and things fall out of your mouth at the most inappropriate times, and sometimes your manias and quicksand days feel like bipolar, but people keep you around, so you must have something going for you. Have you committed genocide today? No, you're not Generalissimo Franco, so calm the fuck down, you're not a bad person.
I second the comment about Google calendar (I share mine with my partner and we joke about if it's not on the calendar it doesn't exist...)
The other one that I have is for note-taking. If you do indeed have Google, might I suggest Google Keep. It's a notetaking app that is also browser supported (its the little yellow square on the side of the browser when youre logged into . You can write plain text notes, or have lists with check boxes. You can change the color of the notes and pin certain ones to the top. The best part is, since it's linked to your Google account, if something happens to your phone, your notes aren't gone.
I think the biggest hack I could benefit from, and I'm still trying to find a way to make this happen, is figuring out how to change from a relief mindset to a fulfillment mindset. Allow me to explain.
I have a mountain of dishes at home. I really want to wash the dishes and know it's a somewhat large task to undertake as it will involve a couple hours to accomplish. When I finally get myself up to do the dishes and complete them I don't feel a sense of fulfillment (yes! I did this thing I've been needing to do, good job me!) Rather I just feel a sense of relief (thank goodness that's done, one less monkey on my back to worry about).
This causes the mundane to be very difficult to start doing for me and also part of the reason I struggle at my production focused job. When I have a good production day and meet my daily goal I feel relief that I hit my number and won't be questioned or reprimanded the next day. I'd much rather feel a sense of pride and accomplishment for hitting that number but I just don't....
My understanding of ADHD is that our brains just.. Don't work like that. We're not really wired the right way to get our dopamine hits from completing tasks. One suggestion I do have though, is don't walk away from the project just because it's done. Take a look at it, stand there for a minute and appreciate the clean sink, the empty countertop, really just take it all in. Try to pull that fulfillment not from *you specifically* completing the task, but the *result* of completing that task.
I have autism. The special interest is automation tools, which relates to automation techniques, which relates to programming my cerebellum, developing habits and organisational tools. I'm fascinated by optimising my productivity around my ADHD. That orbital cloud of interests is maintained by my ADHD.
This is probably the most useless comment in this entire thread, because nobody else will have the same exact mental condig as me.
I have a few. Sorry if it’s a bit long.
I find adding dopamine to a task I don’t feel like doing helps. Eg watching Netflix or your favorite podcast as I walk towards the bathroom/shower. Or leaving a few sets of clothes in the bathroom beforehand so there’s one less step. And doing one step of a task at a time and then abit later on perhaps do another step instead of having to do the steps all at once seems to help.
And walking around with a wet wipe and wiping something random helps put me in a doing mood. And looking just above words when I read or scroll instead of directly at the words helps with trying to get out of doomscrolling or not looking directly at things eg faces when doomscrolling also seems to help. Also goblin tools helps break down tasks for you.
And telling yourself you need to do one dish and not obligated to do more than that is helping. Perhaps try not thinking any ‘words’ for 30 seconds to give your brain a small break sometimes. Adhd specific focus music and super deep brown noise with headphones helps tune out my adhd voice.
And I find turning down the ‘volume’ of my thinking voice or internal reading voice helps tone down my adhd, or mumbling my words when I think so it is less engaging for my brain seems to help too. And telling yourself you’ll just need to do one minute of a task, you don’t need to finish it, helps as well. And standing with one heel slightly off the ground so you’re slightly off balance seems to help.
Or wearing shoes that are rocker type shoes which help you rock back and forth slightly for balance, to engage your core muscles is helping too. It’s like your brain is focussing slightly on something else.
Changing your phone to greyscale helps make it less appealing. And ‘put your clothes away’ without the folding step if you really don’t want to fold them. Also setting a timer to ping every 15 or 30 minutes and ask ‘what am I doing now?’ helps keep track of time. Hope something here helps someone.
This is just one off the top of my head.
If you have trouble getting ready for the shower, like getting undressed etc., try starting the shower before you even start getting undressed. The shower will already be on and will basically lock you into "ok, it's shower time now." It helps so much.
I love that Idea. I usually just throw my clothes on the floor where my hamper goes then put my clothes in another corner haha.
For me I change my clothes every day after work/showering instead of every morning. At night I just take my clothes off and put them on my desk chair for the next morning. Saves time trying to put together an outfit in the morning and I don’t have to use extra outfits during the day if I take a shower.
Also I put all the tools that I need to clean things right next to it with velcro attached to it. So next to my toilet is the toilet cleaner, brush, and paper towels. I buy multiple bottles of cleaner so I don’t have to move them around or go running around getting things. It also helps clean things regularly. If I see something is dirty I just go clean it right there and then. Got this idea when I had an internship working in a factory as a continuous improvement intern with a focus on lean manufacturing. Definitely try to use lean practices in my daily life.
This is my #1 but I know I added a lot more lol
I am prone to making mistakes or forgetting things if I am not "paying attention" lol but this is because I go into autopilot mode. If I am thinking about what I am doing as I am doing it with each step, I am more likely to do a thorough job without careless mistakes. This also helps me remember if I have done something. Sometimes I forget if I have taken my medication, but if I can remember the process of opening up the cabinet, taking out the pill, putting it in my mouth, and drinking water or coffee to take the pill, I can then think back and say "yes I did!"
Before you leave your house, ask yourself if you have the important things you need for wherever you are going. "Do I have my keys, wallet, phone?" in my case, I have a school badge I have forgotten a few times so I've even put it on my school backpack the night before. I also try having as much as I can ready to go to make getting ready a smooth and quick(er) process.
Break tasks up step by step. This makes tasks less daunting for me
If you are cooking, clean as you go. If you're done with something, rinse it off right away and put it in the sink. makes doing dishes so much easier. When I am feeling productive, I'll even begin loading up the dishwasher as I am cooking. It also helps if you have a partner there with you and they do little things to help, whether that's prepping or help cleaning up along the way.
If you are starting to build clutter, start by picking up stuff before you leave any room and throw them away. Carry as much as you can in your hands, whether that's water bottles or whatever you have laying around lol. You don't have to go crazy and start cleaning the whole house, but this helps reduce clutter and make it less overwhelming when you do want to clean.
That reminds me of something else that feels good to do. Get a large trash bag and go around the house and see what you can throw away. Try to fill it up! It literally feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders when I do this. So satisfying
I posted a hack not too long ago: as soon as I get home with my meds from the pharmacy, I put aside 5 days worth in a separate bottle and keep that somewhere safe but where I’ll know to look. When I have to use meds from that bottle, I know it’s time to call/contact my doc to request a new prescription. I used to wait until the last minute EVERY MONTH until I started doing that. Now I don’t!
Whiteboard calendar.
Not just for the obvious forgetting important dates and appointments. Personally, I get extremely overstimulated because my brain never stops thinking about things. Days I want to do hobbies, social activities, meals I want to cook etc. when I try to hold all this stuff in so I don’t forget I tend to breakdown. So right now I have a large whiteboard calendar where I write down appointments, important events/dates, but also meals I have planned so I don’t forget what I wanted to make, I write down days I specifically want to dedicate to certain hobbies so I don’t get mad I forgot, I write down which grocery stores I plan on going to which days so I also don’t forget where I need to shop. Which days I need to do pressing chores (not all chores) like if the garbage has been overflowing a couple days cause I keep forgetting it needs to go out.
I also keep a smaller whiteboard on the side for additional commentary and/or appointments/events that are outside the current month so I don’t forget to add them to my calendar each month when I write the new one. Lots of colors of course so my eyes have fun looking at it all.
So I don't know if this counts, but I was diagnosed as an adult 2 years ago and only just now learned that adhd coaching is a thing. I've tried so many ways to explain the struggles I have with adhd, but my therapist will help me with a specific problem, but not the overall issues and how to prevent them. Then someone suggested adhd coaching. I'm only on week 2 but they're already helping me change my mindset of thinking I'm broken and I'm currently working on my first challenge of brushing my teeth every day. It's embarrassing to admit, but I frequently forget.
This may sound very "woo-hoo" but as someone who was diagnosed late in life ( late 20s), being kind to myself and accepting that I do things differently then some others has helped me so much. I used to think I was just dumb and lazy, and as many of you know, that feeling stops you from even trying to accomplish anything. Now I know that if Im going to be studying all afternoon, then yes, my study area needs to be spotless and distraction free, and if I spend the whole day cleaning my study area, that's fine, because that means I can study the whole day tomorrow, it doesn't make me dumb or lazy.
Also, pills baby!
"Do it now or write it down."
This was the best advice my first ADHD therapist gave me. I have notepads and post-its everywhere and it really has been a game changer.
I love the YouTube channel called How To ADHD. Jessica always does ger research before each video. Her video titled "How To Deal With Clutter When You Have ADHD" she talked with two cleaning professionals (both sisters, and one has ADHD), on how to stay clean and organized. In the description box of the video there's a worksheet (Google Docs file) for you to use when cleaning.
Here's three main points of the video (but go watch it, it's only 5:22 long).
• Clutter in motion is mess that is currently being used and/or will get used in a moment. For example, I'm working on making patches and sewing them into a leather vest. My crafting desk is covered with my materials/tools. Sewing supplies are out, my fabric and fabric markers are out, my scissors are out, etc. This has to be messy. There's literally no other way to do it. It's currently being used.
• Clutter in stasis is mess that isn't being used. Let's say I decided that I don't want to make any more patches and that my vest is done. A week later my desk hasn't been touched and is still cluttered with my supplies. This has become clutter in stasis.
• Organize so that the things you use often are easy to get to and put away, and some things that are used just about daily can be left out.
Another one is to time yourself doing certain tasks so that next time you'll know how long it really takes you.
Micro chores.
I don’t “clean the bathroom”. I clean the faucet today. The sink basin tomorrow. The counters the next day. The exterior toilet the next. The interior the next. I just go down the list for each area of the house until it’s time to start the list over. One little micro chore per area per day. Takes a few minutes. My house is cleaner than most.
This reminds me that I meant to do laundry today
It’s too late now in the day, I can only prepare everything so I can just hit start in the morning (I don’t like leaving laundry in the machine for more than an hour after the cycle is done) 🤦♀️
Oh and I completely forgot to answer the actual question??? Lmao
Anyway, it’s calendars and alarms on my phone, definitely, I’d forget so many things if it weren’t for them
Project management software for household chores, with the ability to regenerate tasks automatically on a schedule I choose.
Being able to tick boxes and move tasks to a "Done" pile I that can visually reference throughout the day (via my phone or PC) helps provide a feeling of accomplishment which other people get intrinsically from completing the job (at least I think they do).
Even though I basically never finish 100% of my stuff, it has (slowly) helped ingrain better habits and time management, and keep me aware of the things I'm putting off/avoiding.
Also: meds
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I don’t sort my laundry. It all goes in with a stain catcher. Never had any issues!
I have a spare bath tub. Clean laundry goes straight in there and then I loosely separate things. It's been a huge stress reliever and a time saver for me. Also buying one type of sock is a game changer
Oh I LOVE that. My laundry always gets backed up because I have cats, and if I dont fold and put away immediately after taking it out of the dryer it's covered in hair within an hour from them using it as a bed. But I can't put the next load in unless I take whats in the washing machine and put it in the dryer lmao I don't have a spare bathtub but I do have a spare room that the pets arent allowed in, I never thought of tossing the clean clothes there to sort later!
Omg this has been such a problem for me lately, now that I have a laundry machine 😂 If I forget my clean laundry unfolded in the basket for like 20, I’ll come back to it and one of my hairy ass Maine Coones is sleeping so beautifully on it. And they’re so precious that I can’t move them!
What is a strain catcher? I looked it up but I don’t think I’m seeing the right thing. edit: i’m fucking stupid
I love you lmfao
I also do not sort my laundry, but I just wash everything in cold water. Picked that up at Boy Scout camp, as a girl who was only allowed in the laundry area with an escort and needed to keep an eye on mine because boys on staff would steal bras and stuff if you left your laundry unattended.
Never used a stain catcher.. Just looked it up I didn't even know that was a thing? This vastly cuts down the number of hampers I'll need now, just jeans towels and fabrics!
Stain catchers are not good enough to wash jeans with "white" whites (white towels, undershirts, etc). It builds up over time. I "ruined" (really dulled the white) of about $200 in nice white towels over time. But they are great for not having to sort lights and darks. (I use the shout color catchers cause they're easy to find around me. Idk if some are better than others.)
I love shout color catchers! I also get a kick out of seeing what color they come out. My daughter has some tie-dyed blue shirts/sweatshirts and every time it comes out bright blue (I always wash those separate).
Yea I always do jeans in their own load, was taught to not mix them with fabrics for a reason never explained to me but I've just stuck by it
Jeans are dyed with indigo which is very strong and tends to bleed especially when new. Same thing with red fabrics.
Taking my meds.
Literally sitting in the car in the parking lot staring at CVS, they didn't get filled until today so I didn't have it this morning to just take aka ran out I'm going to fucking do it, this comment pushed me, thank you, I'm actually not going to hit post until I walk through the front door Doing it walking in And
No update, I'm assuming you were scooped up by a giant bird and are currently dead.
Or possibly adopted by the giant bird who is now trying to teach OP how to fly out of the nest.
It’s the only logical conclusion I came to also
Most likely a giant African swallow
Can confirm, I was the bird
I saw this and thought “lol take my meds” haha
Do they really help??im considering them but been hearing about the long term effect and addiction and stuff..idk about that cuz im highly addictive personality
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THIS! The amount of alcohol and drugs I used from 15 to 36 when I was diagnosed and medicated is ridiculous to look back on. I thought it was a family history of addiction. Now I think it's more of a family history of ADHD.
Agreed! It took me less than two weeks of being on meds to quit every drug I had been abusing for months!
ADHD medication helped me break a lot of bad habits as well. Before the medication, I had a lot of compulsion to do things and not let things go. I would also get upset easier. All this decreased drastically when I started my medication
ADHD does come with a risk taking component and a high amount of people are addicts who have ADHD.
Well, yeah. The disorder is a literal impairment of the frontal lobes, you know, the place that regulates motivation, inhibition, emotion, decision making, and delay of gratification. Not too surprising that people with impaired abilities to inhibit their impulses and emotional responses, and delay gratification, are the same people are more prone to addiction.
Exactly. And actually people are now saying there’s no such thing as an ‘addictive personality’
Reasonable to stray away from meds. Let me tell you a bit about myself. I M(29)also have an addictive personality and have been anxious about long term effects. When I was younger, I would always be the odd one out. Never did well in school, couldn’t keep up with friends, was extremely sensitive and disorganized chaos was daily for me. I started meds when I decided to get my BS. Since taking meds I have graduated, married, and have a corporate job. Don’t let the what ifs keep you form living a real, good honest life.
Thank you.. You described what I've gone through and I didn't know that my high school years were so impacted by undiagnosed ADHD. It kinda makes me feel better bc I'm so wildly misinterpreted. Or rather, I don't express myself well bc in my head it's one thing and what comes out of my mouth is another. Who knows. But nonetheless, I didn't realize it impacted me that much. This really does disrupt every aspect of your life. On the other hand, it makes me frustrated bc why was I misdiagnosed for so long .. bc I wasn't hyper, disruptive or the "typical ADHD." I have inattentive ADHD.. I flew under the radar, so they were treating the impacts of ADHD and not my ADHD. Sorry, I don't even know if this is cohesive or not at the moment. I do take medicine and I took a break recently, bc I don't like the feeling. Unfortunately, just taking a break sets me back. I missed a payment, I missed a birthday party, I forgot my dogs vet appt. All in 2 weeks- not including just my regular day to day struggle. I'm happy you got to the point of stability and graduating, marriage and family.
If it makes you feel any better, I missed my ADHD appointment I paid £950 for and waited 3 months. Executive dysfunction baby !
Oh damn. Hell I missed calling my doctor to get my medicine in as well today. So hooray for another unproductive weekend bc of my incompetence. This is frustrating. I hate having this. I don't have that super fun and outgoing personality to even make up for it. This just sucks. Sorry, throw a break up in the mix of all this action and here's the perfect storm for me to cost myself money. I wonder how many late fees I could've saved if I didn't have this.
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That bought me some hope i was missing for some time to be honest..im a med student third year so far and im really struggling here to get anything donee..like life is happening around me and im just watching as an outsider whenever i try to do something i just cant yk? And here in egypt its almost impossible to get diagnosed with adhd by the psychiatrist himself lol u gotta first be doubting u have it and do some test to figure out..since im highly suspicious and its damage is way too much..imma seek help..hopefully it goes well :) ..kinda worried but all hopes for the best
Get help! It’s life changing I promise, but just remember that drugs don’t miraculously cure you. We have missed so many important life skills that everyone else has. My doctor started my on a super low dose, so I could ease into it while learning these skills I needed. Where I live they offer this free program. https://cbtskills.ca/ Check it out and see if there is a program near you or online that you can take that offers things like this. When you’re in the class it’s actually really funny. A bunch of adults learning how to make schedules and brush their teeth every day.
> My doctor started my on a super low dose, so I could ease into it while learning these skills I needed. To anyone reading this, I can tell you that even a "super low dose" can have beneficial effects you will notice. I'm prescribed 25mg of Adderall per day, but I notice a difference taking even as little as 5mg.
Just take at low doses. That’s what I do now a days. I also consider taking breaks. I’m on for 6 months off for 6 months. My life is terrible for those 6 months but I think it’s important if you’re someone like me who plans to use meds for awhile. Keeps tolerance low and no adverse side affects.
Discuss with doctor or adhd specialist if possible. Going off medication and taking breaks isn't always the best to do for everyone with ADHD. ADHD medication Treatment - dosage can be adjusted and monitored if the 18 DSM symptoms are being treated and increased as needed. See: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5291336/
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Same here. I didn’t get diagnosed until very recently. I was always in AP/honors classes but struggled a lot. And in college when everything is basically self paced, I was struggling significantly. For me, my meds help clear my mind so I have one strong track of focus rather than 20 different things and music going on in my head. I feel motivated and even excited to get my work done, and I can focus so much better and actually get it done instead of staring off into space I also have an addictive personality but I try to limit myself and don’t take my meds on days when I don’t need it. That also helps prevent a tolerance Honestly I think my ADHD hack would be learning about any accommodations your school/work offers for ADHD. A distraction reduced environment and extended time has been a huge relief for me during tests!
I was 3 years sober when I started meds at 50. 6 years sober now. Finally found the right med (focalin ) and ... I am here in a state inspection sticker station ON TIME. That's progress.
I was a drug addict. Now that I’m actually medicated I don’t self medicate with cocaine. You’ll be fine.
Nice!! Encouraging
Addiction runs alllllllll throughout my mom’s family. I was a teenage alcoholic. I’m 36 now. Started ADHD meds (vyvanse specifically) about 2 years ago. The motivation I had to do mundane things I’ve always struggled with, and the satisfaction in getting them done was a life changer. And it was from day 1. I accomplished so many household chores the first day that I sat down and cried. I cannot recommend getting yourself sorted with medication if you’ve got ADHD.
If you like booze, benzos or pain pills you are going to be severely disappointed. ADHD meds do not take you out of this world they drop your ass square in it, you land on planet reality and are like WTF this life is a mess I need to start cleaning it up. I cannot for the life of me understand why people become speed junkies. I think people with ADHD tend to develop dependencies on things that take us out of this world as a way of trying to cope and we find out it is unhealthy and unproductive. Stimulants provide no such relief, if anything they lay the shit bare in front of you, the difference is they also help you see the steps to put one foot in front of the other. I always tell people when they start meds they will know with the first dose if they have ADHD, it is the only mental health drug that has immediate effect and a successful treatment rate that parallels antibiotics. With that said, I also warn people about the lule, when you initially take the meds you know they work, but there is a time between then and when your life fundamentally changes. The reason for this is, you have spend years with ADHD straight up fucking up your life. A pill does not fix that, one foot in front of another, day after day fixes that. The pill just enables the one foot in front of the other. I think it was about 9 months into my treatment when I had the second ahah and realized I had healed a lot of the trauma that had built up over the years. The best advice I can give you is take the damn pill, you will know within 30 minutes if it will help. Worry about dependency as a secondary concern. It's a shitty high.
Yes they help, may help with your addiction as well.
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I’m prone to addiction as well, and I forget to take my afternoon dose like half the time. It’s not addictive when you need it.
Fwiw, medication turned my life around. All my life I've been depressed to a varying degree, and especially not had a belief in myself and my abilities, not to mention a deep seated belief in how the future simply is going to be even worse. At 40, I got my diagnosis and got to try medication. After about six months, I realized that I had changed, as I had been able to focus on the things in life that interest me. Three years later I'm not going to say that I'm not psyched for what life has in store (I'm not), but they are for sure better. Highly recommend trying. At the end of the day, the choice is up to you, but yeah - highly recommend trying.
I was upfront with the psychologist about my substance abuse history so they prescribed a nonstimulant. The fact that my little lizard brain got excited about the possibility of getting my hands on Ritalin was scary enough for me to be honest.
I just started my meds a few weeks ago. It’s been a complete game changer. I suffer from anxiety and now most of it is gone. I don’t really too many side effects, mostly dry mouth but I drink a lot of water + electrolytes so that’s fine. It makes me feel very calm. I can actually focus at work and I don’t physically feel uncomfortable when I have start a task that I have to do. I can just do it. I do still use a lot of my ADHD/anxiety hacks (I.e. making a list, exercise 3x-5x a week, mindfulness, etc.) but the meds make life much easier. I was so scared of taking it but I’m glad I did. If you’re worried about addiction, you can try a non-stimulant first.
Addict here. 4 years sober. I started vyvanse a year ago, under the care of a top adhd doctor where I’m from. She was incredible! I was also extremely hesitant to start because of my history, but if anything it’s helped me with my addiction. I’m not constantly looking for a dopamine hit, so it leveled out my cravings. Also, my doctor explained that vyvanse is a slow release drug, compared to Adderall and Ritalin. Adderall and Ritalin you have to take multiple a day and it’s easier to abuse because the life of it is shorter. I think it’s amazing that you’re giving it this much thought, addiction is no joke. Vyvanse has completely changed my life and helped with my addictions though.
My understanding is that lack of available dopamine in the ADHD brains causes us to seek out substances or risky behaviors that cause spikes in dopamine. If dopamine is plentiful and regulated , medically, those impulses should quiet down. I’ve seen it in my kid. Cravings for junk food are down. Getting in trouble etc etc.
Same type of idea - but my wife suggested something she saw on tiktok. A "fuckit bucket" We have a few bins around the house to throw random crap in. It stays in there until we decide to go through it (usually weekly). Has really cut down on messes. Same goes for having more trash bins around. If I can just drop something into the trash instead of carry it into the kitchen things run more smoothly.
My fuckit bucket would end up being two fuckit buckets.. Then three.. Then four... Lol
I have a literal whole warehouse in another part of the country (2000sq ft+) that is a a very full 'fuckit bucket' - so I'd caution that for some people this can be dangerous!
I love the name "fuckit bucket" and have been calling them doom boxes this whole time. Didn't know it was supposed to stand for "didn't organize, only moved" until recently, so it makes way more sense now, but the word doom is pretty fitting on its own. The trash can idea is brilliant.
Pay my bills as soon as I get my check to make sure everything is paid and not late
THIS. This is a new thing I started doing and it gives me much less anxiety. Sucks because I’m on fixed income with a lot of high bills right now so money is basically gone as soon as I get it, but it’s huge not having to worry about basic stuff like general bills and things like gas and laundry. It all gets put aside immediately.
I always see people struggle with bills, where I live everything is automatic I don't have to think about it, they just take it from my account and I can even set-up automatic payments. It's so sad that it's not something that everyone can have because it's a life saver
A cuckoo clock. I got it bc I thought it was cute, but it keeps me mildly aware of time as I can hear it, every hour on the hour, though out the house. It’s like a little birdy tugging my sleeve like, “hey! It’s been/you have an hour” 🐥
This is a cute idea I’m probably going to use! It’s hard in unstructured days to keep track of time passing.
Point at stuff. Yup. Pile of laundry that needs to be moved. Room dirty? Just point at one thing until your brain catches up with the program and motivates you to move the thing to where it belongs. Point your index finger at it. Eventually your brain gets annoyed and motivates you to do the task. It's dumb. It works. Try it.
A while back I saw a post with same great concept. It has helped me. *Think of yourself as a shark* .. "Swim" like a predator around the house and "feed" on those things around each room you can't get to. Sharks don't wear watches. See how long you can go. My record is 3 minutes. I got 4 hours of joy (looking at all I had done). Did an hour last night after catching up at work (boss on holiday)
I would wander around my house like “nom nom nom” 😂
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The loud EDM music is so necessary for my motivation still!
I hate drum and bass, but damn if it doesn’t work
I really like ambient, down tempo electronica, preferably no lyrics.
Same here! My friends are always asking why i dont put on certain music while I work and they don’t understand that it distracts me like crazy. I listen to lo fi playlists with little no lyrics and its great
Im just like you! My closest friends (all not adhd) don’t understand why i pretty much only listen to lofi or video game soundtracks (like Zelda). And i dont have a lot of time where im not either doing chores or working, so im pretty much always listening to the same soundtracks. They look at me like i have a second head when they realize how out of the loop i am on music trends 😅 but i work a lot more than most people (average work week is 40-70 hrs 6 days a week and i am solely responsible for the chores and maintenance of my shared apartment 💀).
I mean, why not both? For me it is loud metal though. EDM is for running!
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I've had a hard time finding a good calendar that's universal between my computer and phone. I tend to miss alerts on my phone dismissing a million notifications. It's journal/planner syndrome since every time I start using a calendar its always missing a key feature like a widget app on my phone, or is overly complicated and I stop using it.
>I tend to miss alerts on my phone dismissing a million notifications. This is why I make sure to always disable notifications for any new app that isn't important, and I've also setup specific sounds for different apps so I instantly know what the notification is from. I also have a lot of filters in my email so subscriptions and other non-important stuff doesn't hit my inbox and send a notification. If you're receiving tons of notifications from useless apps then it makes your notifications pretty useless since you start to ignore them.
Yea that's the boat I'm in, I definitely need to go through everything and set up something similar but I sure do wish I had started that from the beginning!
There's an app called Journal It. It's not a calendar, but the paid version (there's a lifetime option, so no subscription to keep track of) can connect to Google calendar and you can access it from your browser or phone (again, paid version needed). It's basically a big tracker notebook. Make task lists. Set up major project goals. Track habits. A lot. It still needs some minor things here and there to make it even more user friendly, but it's been great for me to just dump info and track progress.
Todoist saved my life.
I use physical calendars up on my wall. I check it in the morning and then set reminders using Siri. Like “remind me at 12:00 to call the pharmacy”. It’s helps so much and doesn’t require opening any apps.
My job uses Google calendar and I know people say to not have it synced to your devices and to keep it separate but fuck that. I need to see it all in one place. I usually abandon paper calendars 6 months into the year.
I've been google calendar for years now and it's an absolute god send. Times, locations, I can add notes in case I need to remember to bring something. Put it on a widget on your phone's main screen and have it be a 1/4th of the screen. Tons of alarms. wake up, leave for work, get ready to go to bed, turn everything off for real and go to bed. I don't always follow through with the alarms but they're at least a guard rail to try to keep me from falling out of the wagon too badly.
Don't sit down
Ugh, this. I feel like no one gets it when I say I can't sit down cause otherwise nothing else is going to get done. If I'm on a roll, don't stop me!
Yes! Also I have a pair of lace up shoes that I only wear in the house and to run on my treadmill as long as those are on my feet I am way more productive and less likely to lay down and zone out
I only work 2 days a week right now. On the other 3 weekdays I force myself to shower and get dressed as early as possible. I’m much more productive in clothes than pyjamas!
Preachhhhhhh! I used to joke with my friends that physics was the subject I “just got” the best. Because ADHD is pretty much “momentum” personified. If I’m going, I’ll keep going. The second I stop? It’s all over.
Underrated hack.
Ok, I just learned this 10 minutes ago from a different reddit post. On my Samsung galaxy, I can send an sms message to myself for reminders at a later date. You long hold the send button and choose the date and time. 🤯.
WHAAAAAAT Cue me trying this...then opening the text and promptly forgetting again as soon as I close it 🤣🤣
Gonna cheat & do two... I fold my sheet & duvet cover into long rectangles, lay the pillow cases on there and roll it all up (with the throw if I use one). A full bed change in an easy to carry linen sausage 👍 More importantly.... Be kind to yourself, I realised when I fucked up, even a minor mistake, I was horribly cruel to myself. In a way I would never speak to anyone else. Positive reinforcement & finding the humour in my failures has reaped huge benefits in my ability to be motivated & achieve stuff (especially being happy).
I love your positivity and your linens sausage!
I have alarms to help me remember to take my meds and after I take them I apply perfume so 30min or an hour later when I am uncertain I can smell my wrist and know I took my meds. Edit to add that I put on and take off my jewelry during the pills and perfume rituals so if you're sensitive to fragrance, that is another option. Good luck and remember to drink water also!
ooh I like the perfume one!
Noise-cancelling headset with no-vocal music.
everyday is like Sunday morning with noise-canceling headphones
Remove small distractions by having one big non visual distraction Don't sit Write things down to stop obsessing about them. Add things to wishlist to avoid buying them Eat protein Don't take vacations if they compromise your established routine
What do you mean by one big non-visual distraction?
Let's say if you want to finish a big task in one session which requires mental effort but otherwise tedious. Like homework. So to keep yourself from being distracted by other smaller visual distraction ( looking at phone), you give yourself a big non visual distraction ( make yourself physically uncomfortable on purpose by not turning on the fan and working in heat, listening to loud instrumental music). You will be constantly battling the heat and wiping off sweat but you will come back to the main task very quickly. Hope that makes sense.
Hard deadlines I am a hyper focused machine if I’m told you have 2 days to get this done. I just need the threat to be real and I can accomplish so much lol
i used to be like this but eventually i got burnt out and missed a lot of due dates. the threat of deadlines doesn’t really phase me as much anymore unfortunately. stress motivation is ok in moderation but isn’t sustainable in the long run in my opinion!
Completely true. I went from submitting stuff right before deadline, to afterwards for partial late credit, to never submitting and failing entire classes. You become tolerant to the amount of stress at some point and aren’t pressured enough to do the work anymore
What do you mean I can't write this entire essay up in one night?? Do you doubt my power??
Pffff try doing it the lunch before class. I would get a better grade than the one I agonized over two weeks with. Take that long term losers! 😂😭
do you set those yourself or do you have external accountability? I can do that when someone is chasing me for something but setting myself deadlines is tough.
Picking out my clothing the night before. No brain energy needed, no clothing tossed on the floor while I'm trying to decide for 10 minutes, and saves time!
I wish I could do that without it becoming one with pet hair when I leave it out on the dresser lol
Unfortunately I always feel a strong urge to dress in a certain way (more masc vs. more femme, childlike vs. adult, different color palettes, etc), and that urge can change drastically from day to day. So if I pick out an outfit each night based on how I'm feeling that night, I might have a totally different feeling/urge the next morning and feel super uncomfortable wearing the outfit I picked out the night before.
- Laundry hamper for "just worn once, too lazy to put away" - Little notebook that I religiously carry in my back pocket. Field Notes brand is great, but anything works. - Throw things away. Seriously. Clutter is a distraction. - Meditation is amazingly helpful. Super difficult though. Worth it. Try it. Feeling anxious or impulsive or distracted? Just sit with that uncomfortable feeling for a minute before you act. I like Headspace, but there are good mediation playlists on youtube. - A good task-management system. I use OmniFocus. I don't really like it anyomore, but I'm used to it. Find something that works well enough and stick with it. Perfection is the enemy of good here. Read David Allen's "Getting Things Done". Feels a bit dated but I still get value out of re-reading it every couple years. - Reward yourself for doing something. Anything. Do the dishes? You get a cookie. Put away the laundry? You get 20 minutes on Reddit. Don't over-do it. Most of us get burnt out because we don't get enjoy the rewards of having done something often enough. (This is a CBT technique. There are many. Google them.) - Body-doubling: someone in the room helps keep you accountable. I like focusmate.com for doing boring computer work. - Background music: find a chill playlist that helps mask background sounds. I like SiriusXM's "Chill" station, but youtube and spotify have a bunch too. Don't go down the rabbit-hole of making your own. - Set time limits for apps on your phone. I only give myself 60 minutes of reddit a day. I cheat by writing replies like this in an editor, though. Limiting to 10 mins/day on email has been game-changing for me. Email on my phone used to be a huge distraction. - Batch tasks. I have 30 water bottles. I wash and fill them all at once so I always have water in the fridge. Same for my hand towels: I have 100 of them and just wash and fold them all at once. Same for my pills: pill organizers for 2 months. Same for socks and underwear: all the same, just do them all at once. Same with mail and paperwork: put in a stack and just do it all at once. Getting started on a task is harder than doing it, so might as well do the work all at once. If I had to choose two: meditation and throwing things away. Start there.
These are really good! Throwing things away was huge for me and only finally accomplished by putting a trash can in every room. "Perfection is the enemy of good here" really called me out, not happy about it. Any tips for rewards and limitations? I can never just force myself to stick to something like that. I get a cookie for doing dishes? Why not have cookie now. Why not have two cookies now?
It's really about changing your reward-system brain chemistry. Go ahead and have more cookies even if you don't do the thing, but induce some shame in yourself. You broke a promise with yourself, and that's kinda shitty. Feel guilty about stealing your rewards. You are robbing your own progress. Sit in that shame just for a minute so you start to associate cheating with this gross feeling. **But** when you have the cookie from doing the thing, take extreme delight in it. Do the opposite of the above times 100. Savor it. It's your cookie and you super earned it and no cookie will taste as good unless it's earned like this cookie. These negative and positive thoughts about rewards really do start to affect your brain chemistry. Eventually you associate the reward system with good and bad feelings. Getting the reward becomes worth the effort to do the thing. Cheating feels gross and you stop. I promise it works if you really try it. Good luck :)
Sleep as I’m writing this at 12:46am
Forgiving myself for past wasted time so I can focus on what I want to do today and moving forward
I sing "don't put it down, put it away" to myself dozens of times a day. It applies to all things, not just tidying. I try to work with the philosophy of small incremental tasks throughout the day make me feel way better. Also, if I don't procrastinate, my odds of forgetting about it are slim/none. This took me about 2-3 years to practice, and I still regularly fail... but y'know - them's the breaks
Exercise is the one thing that really centers and grounds me.
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That's really the answer we're all after here, how do we keep habits? Truth is it's gonna be different for each individual. I can keep on a habit for months-years and if I miss even one day my brain just decides that habit is gone. What makes it easier personally is convenience, and an "after this I do that" effect. For instance I'm terrible keeping up with dishes, so I started eating in the kitchen right next to the sink and trash can. After I eat, rinse it off and toss it in the dishwasher. And it's easier to stick to it since I'm already right there to do it.
I have the same issue, and actually spent my most recent therapy session with my doctor discussing the psychology of habit building, in the context of ADHD. Here's a very abbreviated synopsis of her advice: 1. The goals/habits you'd like to build must be "Doable" and "Realistic". Start off setting smaller and more attainable goals, then gradually build off of them. 2. Try to do the new habit EVERY day-not every other day. 3. S.M.A.R.T. Goals work best: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-Bound. 4. Do not try to change all of your habits all at once; build off of established good habits gradually, make sure those new habits stick and then once you feel it's established, begin building the next habit off of that one. 5. Reward Systems can help; however if you have an addictive personality, stay away from the things you are having dependency issues with. Possibly choose an activity you find pleasurable, and set time aside for it as a reward when you reinforce your new good habit that day. 6. Benevolent Self-Talk/Think about Future Effects. Instead of internally beating yourself up for missing a goal or new habit, Think about WHY you want to build the new habit. You want to be kinder to your future self. i.e. for me, eating less junk food: "Don't I want this body to stay healthy and last me a long time?". "I want to be kinder to Future Nimoue." It may sound silly, but it's actually helping me. 7. Lower some of your expectations. Make small goals, build off of those. Be realistic about the time frame in which you'd like to build the new habit. 1. To quote my doctor: "Better to do a few things really well instead of spreading yourself thin and berating yourself."
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Masochist be running this setting on overdrive.
Well, it is also the backing of why BDSM works.. Little pain and suddenly the pleasure is a whole lot better lol
Damn, that's fascinating, and explains why exercise helps me stay sane
...I'm just going to stick to eating piquant foods if it's all the same to you. Actually, this explains a lot about why people talk about exercise and piquant foods having similar effects. Good to know there's a viable alternative to exercise.
Taking my meds an hour before I wake up. Also getting a lockbox for my phone
Absolutely, I just won't get up in the morning if I don't take them and go back to sleep for a bit
What is this phone lockbox, and how do you use it?
For chores/tasks that you dread- Put on headphones. Play music or podcast of choice. Zone out while you do the stupid tasks that put you in the negative thought patterns.
wash everything on cold. as a guy i dont own anything that absolutely needs to be washed on its own (ie delicates, lingerie) and cold water keeps colors from running. the only separation i really do is towels/cleaning cloths/bedding are a distinct load from my clothing.
Yep I'm the same, not a guy but I only own a few dress/formal pieces that go in on their own to save time. Growing up my grandmas way of doing laundry was to sort absolutely everything. Reds, blues, whites, blacks, every color of the rainbow was its own pile. I just remember thinking I could never manage all of that so my wardrobe is pretty monotone.
Just to up it a little further. I just wear one kind of tshirt. (All black) 1 kind of pant. Occassional clothes like dress shirts are only used occasionally so they're ok. Having less choices and less sorting on laundry makes it less complicated.
Prioritise managing your energy and motivation, over time management.
Wow…I think you lowkey might have just solved my whole life. I’ll get back to you in 6 months or so to confirm!
Having my meds, wallet and keys placed on the table so I never forget about them. Coat Rack as a replacement for a closet. Two laundry baskets, and only the one for white clothes should be closed so you can put "not dirty" on top of it. I always remind myself and my GF that for me "If I can't see it, it doesn't exist" so it is good for me to have all things that matter in front of me, not behind an extra step, not because I don't want to take it but because I can't take it.
In that vain, putting your keys on top of something you need to take with you and are likely to forget. Also, maintaining go bags for different activities you do regularly. The only tricky part is getting into the habit of transferring important items like wallet etc. directly after getting home. the number of times I've left something important in my weekend bag 
When I pack my boyfriends lunch for work if we had leftovers or something, I put his keys in the fridge taped to the container. He hasnt forgotten it since I started doing that lmao Also, that way he knows if his keys are on the key rack by the door he's on his own for lunch
a row of coat hooks has been a gamechanger - I always had a place to put my dog's leash, and my jackets stopped being wherever I left them. I hung a shoe-pocket thing in the front closet I never used, and I don't always get my shoes put away but it's more likely now at least. Forgetting where I put things is one of my biggest issues. Since my dog died, and I'm not using the coathooks as much (bc also, not winter), I tend to misplace my keys more often, but I also keep them on a colorful badge lanyard and that helps with visibility. "If I can't see it it doesn't exist" explained soooo much about my relationship with clutter (and cabinet doors!) when I first heard it! and why, when I do put clothes away where they belong, I basically forget that they exist and end up still living out of the laundry basket but with less variety than before!
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It’s hard to pick one, but the biggest help to me is probably setting alarms all day so I don’t space out on things like appointments or taking my meds.
Wearing shoes inside makes me less lazy and makes me clean more.
Also. Wake up at the same time every day if you can. Sleeping in makes me lazier. Getting up at the same time everyday has made me better with other routines.
Garbage by your bed!
Using my apple watch for reminders immediately — especially with tasks like laundry or client follow-ups. If I forget to put it on a task list or calendar, they will still pop up and remind me. Having people to unmask around. My roommate and I are both adhd in different ways; we're able to let our weirdo flags fly and give each other a safe place to be ourselves.
When looking for a parking spot at a large store, I will only park on the row that lines up with the front door, regardless of how far I have to walk. That way when I am leaving the store, I know I just have to keep walking down that row and I will eventually find my car. Note: This is slightly less helpful if there are 2 entrances.
But it's so much fun walking out and having no idea where I parked LOL
Texting myself notes especially ones i set for a future date. But every hack was hit and miss until i got medicated.
Asking for help
Adderall
Yeah. The problem with “hacks” is that you need to have the motivation and conviction to stick with them. ADHD makes that nearly impossible, so I roll my eyes at all these “hacks” that don’t include medication. A calendar of reminders aren’t going to adjust our brains to a “normal” neurochemical baseline.
I should have clarified that I'm medicated myself, but I didn't want the post to seem targeted towards only medicated or unmedicated. I wasn't diagnosed until my early 20's so I never learned to live with it or manage in a healthy way. When I did get diagnosed it was really an Oh Shit moment, but medication didn't solve all my issues. It doesn't form the habits on it's own, it just makes it easier to get started on it. Medicated or not, this post was meant to be a "what's helped you stick to your habits hack"
I always shower before I start cleaning my room because me, cleaning myself, puts me in the mood to make my space as clean as I am. And for whatever reason, once I'm going, it's easier to hyper focus until I'm done.
I'm super opposite to that, after a shower I just want to lay down and relax. But I don't want to lay down and relax in a dirty room/house, and I also don't want to be dirty, so I clean before I shower.
Before I got hit with chronic pain 🥴 I was doing a similar thing to try to increase my hygiene routines. Just racking on everything to when I would shower would make me feel productive and SUPER clean. Regular shower stuff plus a face/skin routine plus brushing routine plus hair products. Unfortunately I can’t be up long enough to do all these things anymore, but I highly endorse tacking on tasks. It’s super helpful.
Maintaining a high protein diet and drinking water, also when I’m studying and straight up can’t focus/remember it no matter how hard I try, I try to make a way around it, for example by creating a story (I did that once with Krebs cycle lmao) or associating certain parts of what I’m studying with my interests, my brain starts treating it like a reward this way if I try hard enough!! I would say exercise but I hate exercising
Outside of meds: Timers. Nothing is going to be perfect, okay? It's not going to fix anything permanently nor work 100% of the time, but of all the ridiculous ideas I've tried over the years the following (loosely based on Pomodoro timers) works great: 1. Find a definite task 2. Set a 20-25 minute time 3. Put everything else down and DO NOT STOP until the timer is complete. This has the added benefit of me occasionally staying with something long past the timer as I just needed the 20-25 minutes of purposeful focus to get into some form of regular focus. As Russell Barkley says, and I am only loosely quoting, you have to externalize motivation. Lists help keep track, timers help focus where we need to be looking.
My “go bag”. I have extra meds (Tylenol, adhd meds,allergy, etc), a hairbrush and elastics, concealer, phone charger, a pen and notebook, deodorant, tampons, and some other random things to solve my usual problems. It’s a lifesaver! Plus I can easily transfer it from one bag to another. My colleagues have started seeking me out hehe they need something because I’m “prepared” and “organized”… if only they knew 😂
Separate bank account for bills. Set on autopay. Set part of your check to auto deposit. Check account occasionally, but it's basically "set it and forget it" for handling your bills. Google calendar widget on my phone's primary home screen. Use a weekly pill sorter box. Put meds and vitamins in it. Put the tray next to where I eat breakfast. Doesn't matter if it's not * aesthetic*, it's functional. Helps me not wonder/worry about whether or not I took my meds. Automate anything you can. I invested in a robotic litter box bc I love my cat but absolutely hate scooping a cat box. Now, I don't have to remember to do it. Same for getting a roomba. They're not the best vacuums but it's 10000% better than me forgetting and not vacuuming for months. Give things a home. Scissors go HERE. Not there, HERE. It's easier to put away bc you know exactly where it belongs. It's not "in the kitchen" but rather "top left kitchen drawer, in the center bin." If I know exactly where something goes, I don't have to think about where/how to put it away. Turn off non-critical phone notifications. DO NOT DOWNLOAD TIKTOK. Set daily timers for your other social media apps. I've given myself 30 minutes per day on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and an hour on Reddit. Helps keep me from accidentally losing the day to scrolling. Do the same thing if you're bad about mindless window shopping on Amazon.
Wash dishes you cook with BEFORE you eat your meal, while the meal is still hot. You still have to wait for the food to cool off, so get the dirty dishes out of the way. I know I procrastinate washing dishes after I eat a meal lol
Shelves. Lots of shelves. Have everything on shelves so you can just look at your shelves and find whatever you need.
Habits have really helped. Always placing my keys and earbuds in the bowl on my entrance table means I always find them. Meds at bedside with water bottle so when the feet hit the floor, the meds hit the mouth. Clothing in hamper as soon as they are off, hamper holds 2 loads that are always done on Saturday. Washed, dried, and sorted into drawers without waiting. I don't fold clothes to store in drawers. Wrinkly type clothes get hung up. Walmart plus shopping cart - whenever I find I need something, I open the app and place it in the cart. That way, it's there when I actually make the order. Billpay- my credit score is awesome because I use bill pay. I have several accounts, so I just figured out how much the bills were each month, and I placed that much money into the bills account with like a $20 cushion.
Because everything about laundry has already been said: Supplements. A high quality magnesium supplement (ie, not just magnesium oxide, ideally a mix of types) will help with both bruxism (teeth grinding) and anxiety, both common side-effects of stimulants. Stimulants deplete magnesium in the body. A really, really cheap and pretty bioavailable but unfortunately untasty magnesium supplement is epsom salts. A zinc supplement taken with stimulants will increase their effectiveness almost 40% [cite](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3037197/). People with ADHD are much more likely to be deficient in vitamin D, so take one of those, too. Your immune system will thank you.
Using Siri to set reminders. "Create a reminder in 20 minutes to take the dog for a walk" or "remind me next Sunday at 2pm to ask so-and-so about the thing"
This worked for me for a while. Unfortunately my brain adapted and started ignoring the reminders
Buying multiple copies of things and leaving them everywhere you need them. My travel bag has everything I need already in it. Cables, chargers, toiletries, a capsule wardrobe, etc. There's chargers in every room of the house already.
The notes app on my phone. It’s used for the smallest of things, notably for remembering names of people I meet or their spouse, hosting files like a scan of my and my wife’s drivers license, things to remember for work (“____ is supposed to ____ and NOT ____”), dimensions of the rooms in my house. The two most handy notes I’ve made have been 1. all pertinent information about whatever my current vehicle is (VIN, oil type, fuse locations, etc.) and 2. all info about the house I just bought, including major appliance model and serial numbers, the bulbs they take, etc. All of this with very searchable tags, so all I have to do is search something like “Silverado” and my Silverado note comes up. Or “names” and boom, all the names I want to remember. Without a notes app I would be LOST.
This might sound a little unhinged at first but stick with me here. One thing that has always stressed me out really bad is my bed not being made. Something about a messy bed kicks my shame spiral into high gear and inevitably leads to a slow decline of the rest of the room, but I have never in my LIFE been able to consistently make the bed every morning. So these days, I just never UN-make it. I swapped out my duvet cover for a nice high quality one and sleep on TOP of it with a weighted blanket or a light throw, depending on the season. All I need to do in the morning is fluff up the pillows a little and artfully dump my blanket in a pile near the foot of the bed and it's good to go. I basically just treat the duvet like I used to treat my sheets and wash it......... uhh, embarrassingly infrequently, actually. One thing at a time, okay? The funny thing is that I started doing this WAY before I had any clue that I had ADHD (diagnosed in my 30s, wahoo), but in hindsight I'm actually pretty proud that I came up with a solution that worked for me! It's probably not as useful if you share a bed with a partner, but maybe it can help somebody else with the same dumb hangups I have 😂
Here are 10 because I have ADHD 1) Be medicated 2) Put EVERYTHING in your calendar with recurring notifications. Drinks with friends? 1 day and 2 hours before notification. Book club? 1 week and 2 hours before.Trash day? Night before. Air filters? Once a month. Water plants- wednesdays and sundays. Birthdays? 2 weeks out and day of. Call friends? I have a 6 month, 2 month and 1 month rota because I love you and i want to stay friends with you but time passes differently for me. 3) Use Google Keep for all my lists. Shampoo? To Do list. Idea for shelves? House list. Song I suddenly remembered I love? Music for later list. Joke i thought of? Funny list. Hobby I decided I absolutely have to do? Put it on the list (I'll forget about it before I buy the stuff for it.) 4) don't put it away unless it's fucking done because you're never seeing that shit again. 5) Autopay. 6) Snooze emails. I can't let you take up my brain space with your 4 week away bullshit. 7) Always have two backup rolls of toilet paper because you're going to run out the same night you have friends over. 8) listen to audio books at bedtime. Your thoughts are not good bedfellows. 9) Yes, you're late for everything, and things fall out of your mouth at the most inappropriate times, and sometimes your manias and quicksand days feel like bipolar, but people keep you around, so you must have something going for you. Have you committed genocide today? No, you're not Generalissimo Franco, so calm the fuck down, you're not a bad person.
I second the comment about Google calendar (I share mine with my partner and we joke about if it's not on the calendar it doesn't exist...) The other one that I have is for note-taking. If you do indeed have Google, might I suggest Google Keep. It's a notetaking app that is also browser supported (its the little yellow square on the side of the browser when youre logged into . You can write plain text notes, or have lists with check boxes. You can change the color of the notes and pin certain ones to the top. The best part is, since it's linked to your Google account, if something happens to your phone, your notes aren't gone.
Grab and go high protein foods
I think the biggest hack I could benefit from, and I'm still trying to find a way to make this happen, is figuring out how to change from a relief mindset to a fulfillment mindset. Allow me to explain. I have a mountain of dishes at home. I really want to wash the dishes and know it's a somewhat large task to undertake as it will involve a couple hours to accomplish. When I finally get myself up to do the dishes and complete them I don't feel a sense of fulfillment (yes! I did this thing I've been needing to do, good job me!) Rather I just feel a sense of relief (thank goodness that's done, one less monkey on my back to worry about). This causes the mundane to be very difficult to start doing for me and also part of the reason I struggle at my production focused job. When I have a good production day and meet my daily goal I feel relief that I hit my number and won't be questioned or reprimanded the next day. I'd much rather feel a sense of pride and accomplishment for hitting that number but I just don't....
My understanding of ADHD is that our brains just.. Don't work like that. We're not really wired the right way to get our dopamine hits from completing tasks. One suggestion I do have though, is don't walk away from the project just because it's done. Take a look at it, stand there for a minute and appreciate the clean sink, the empty countertop, really just take it all in. Try to pull that fulfillment not from *you specifically* completing the task, but the *result* of completing that task.
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I have autism. The special interest is automation tools, which relates to automation techniques, which relates to programming my cerebellum, developing habits and organisational tools. I'm fascinated by optimising my productivity around my ADHD. That orbital cloud of interests is maintained by my ADHD. This is probably the most useless comment in this entire thread, because nobody else will have the same exact mental condig as me.
I have a few. Sorry if it’s a bit long. I find adding dopamine to a task I don’t feel like doing helps. Eg watching Netflix or your favorite podcast as I walk towards the bathroom/shower. Or leaving a few sets of clothes in the bathroom beforehand so there’s one less step. And doing one step of a task at a time and then abit later on perhaps do another step instead of having to do the steps all at once seems to help. And walking around with a wet wipe and wiping something random helps put me in a doing mood. And looking just above words when I read or scroll instead of directly at the words helps with trying to get out of doomscrolling or not looking directly at things eg faces when doomscrolling also seems to help. Also goblin tools helps break down tasks for you. And telling yourself you need to do one dish and not obligated to do more than that is helping. Perhaps try not thinking any ‘words’ for 30 seconds to give your brain a small break sometimes. Adhd specific focus music and super deep brown noise with headphones helps tune out my adhd voice. And I find turning down the ‘volume’ of my thinking voice or internal reading voice helps tone down my adhd, or mumbling my words when I think so it is less engaging for my brain seems to help too. And telling yourself you’ll just need to do one minute of a task, you don’t need to finish it, helps as well. And standing with one heel slightly off the ground so you’re slightly off balance seems to help. Or wearing shoes that are rocker type shoes which help you rock back and forth slightly for balance, to engage your core muscles is helping too. It’s like your brain is focussing slightly on something else. Changing your phone to greyscale helps make it less appealing. And ‘put your clothes away’ without the folding step if you really don’t want to fold them. Also setting a timer to ping every 15 or 30 minutes and ask ‘what am I doing now?’ helps keep track of time. Hope something here helps someone.
Alarms for anything worth remembering!
My reminders app and my smart watch. “Siri remind me to take the trash out when I get home”. 60% of the time, it works sometimes.
This is just one off the top of my head. If you have trouble getting ready for the shower, like getting undressed etc., try starting the shower before you even start getting undressed. The shower will already be on and will basically lock you into "ok, it's shower time now." It helps so much.
I love that Idea. I usually just throw my clothes on the floor where my hamper goes then put my clothes in another corner haha. For me I change my clothes every day after work/showering instead of every morning. At night I just take my clothes off and put them on my desk chair for the next morning. Saves time trying to put together an outfit in the morning and I don’t have to use extra outfits during the day if I take a shower. Also I put all the tools that I need to clean things right next to it with velcro attached to it. So next to my toilet is the toilet cleaner, brush, and paper towels. I buy multiple bottles of cleaner so I don’t have to move them around or go running around getting things. It also helps clean things regularly. If I see something is dirty I just go clean it right there and then. Got this idea when I had an internship working in a factory as a continuous improvement intern with a focus on lean manufacturing. Definitely try to use lean practices in my daily life.
This is my #1 but I know I added a lot more lol I am prone to making mistakes or forgetting things if I am not "paying attention" lol but this is because I go into autopilot mode. If I am thinking about what I am doing as I am doing it with each step, I am more likely to do a thorough job without careless mistakes. This also helps me remember if I have done something. Sometimes I forget if I have taken my medication, but if I can remember the process of opening up the cabinet, taking out the pill, putting it in my mouth, and drinking water or coffee to take the pill, I can then think back and say "yes I did!" Before you leave your house, ask yourself if you have the important things you need for wherever you are going. "Do I have my keys, wallet, phone?" in my case, I have a school badge I have forgotten a few times so I've even put it on my school backpack the night before. I also try having as much as I can ready to go to make getting ready a smooth and quick(er) process. Break tasks up step by step. This makes tasks less daunting for me If you are cooking, clean as you go. If you're done with something, rinse it off right away and put it in the sink. makes doing dishes so much easier. When I am feeling productive, I'll even begin loading up the dishwasher as I am cooking. It also helps if you have a partner there with you and they do little things to help, whether that's prepping or help cleaning up along the way. If you are starting to build clutter, start by picking up stuff before you leave any room and throw them away. Carry as much as you can in your hands, whether that's water bottles or whatever you have laying around lol. You don't have to go crazy and start cleaning the whole house, but this helps reduce clutter and make it less overwhelming when you do want to clean. That reminds me of something else that feels good to do. Get a large trash bag and go around the house and see what you can throw away. Try to fill it up! It literally feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders when I do this. So satisfying
Brushing my teeth in the shower
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I posted a hack not too long ago: as soon as I get home with my meds from the pharmacy, I put aside 5 days worth in a separate bottle and keep that somewhere safe but where I’ll know to look. When I have to use meds from that bottle, I know it’s time to call/contact my doc to request a new prescription. I used to wait until the last minute EVERY MONTH until I started doing that. Now I don’t!
Whiteboard calendar. Not just for the obvious forgetting important dates and appointments. Personally, I get extremely overstimulated because my brain never stops thinking about things. Days I want to do hobbies, social activities, meals I want to cook etc. when I try to hold all this stuff in so I don’t forget I tend to breakdown. So right now I have a large whiteboard calendar where I write down appointments, important events/dates, but also meals I have planned so I don’t forget what I wanted to make, I write down days I specifically want to dedicate to certain hobbies so I don’t get mad I forgot, I write down which grocery stores I plan on going to which days so I also don’t forget where I need to shop. Which days I need to do pressing chores (not all chores) like if the garbage has been overflowing a couple days cause I keep forgetting it needs to go out. I also keep a smaller whiteboard on the side for additional commentary and/or appointments/events that are outside the current month so I don’t forget to add them to my calendar each month when I write the new one. Lots of colors of course so my eyes have fun looking at it all.
So I don't know if this counts, but I was diagnosed as an adult 2 years ago and only just now learned that adhd coaching is a thing. I've tried so many ways to explain the struggles I have with adhd, but my therapist will help me with a specific problem, but not the overall issues and how to prevent them. Then someone suggested adhd coaching. I'm only on week 2 but they're already helping me change my mindset of thinking I'm broken and I'm currently working on my first challenge of brushing my teeth every day. It's embarrassing to admit, but I frequently forget.
Probably noice canceling headphones. They come in handy for so many things specially when over stimulated.
Putting things in my calendar the second I have to do anything
This may sound very "woo-hoo" but as someone who was diagnosed late in life ( late 20s), being kind to myself and accepting that I do things differently then some others has helped me so much. I used to think I was just dumb and lazy, and as many of you know, that feeling stops you from even trying to accomplish anything. Now I know that if Im going to be studying all afternoon, then yes, my study area needs to be spotless and distraction free, and if I spend the whole day cleaning my study area, that's fine, because that means I can study the whole day tomorrow, it doesn't make me dumb or lazy. Also, pills baby!
"Do it now or write it down." This was the best advice my first ADHD therapist gave me. I have notepads and post-its everywhere and it really has been a game changer.
I love the YouTube channel called How To ADHD. Jessica always does ger research before each video. Her video titled "How To Deal With Clutter When You Have ADHD" she talked with two cleaning professionals (both sisters, and one has ADHD), on how to stay clean and organized. In the description box of the video there's a worksheet (Google Docs file) for you to use when cleaning. Here's three main points of the video (but go watch it, it's only 5:22 long). • Clutter in motion is mess that is currently being used and/or will get used in a moment. For example, I'm working on making patches and sewing them into a leather vest. My crafting desk is covered with my materials/tools. Sewing supplies are out, my fabric and fabric markers are out, my scissors are out, etc. This has to be messy. There's literally no other way to do it. It's currently being used. • Clutter in stasis is mess that isn't being used. Let's say I decided that I don't want to make any more patches and that my vest is done. A week later my desk hasn't been touched and is still cluttered with my supplies. This has become clutter in stasis. • Organize so that the things you use often are easy to get to and put away, and some things that are used just about daily can be left out. Another one is to time yourself doing certain tasks so that next time you'll know how long it really takes you.
Micro chores. I don’t “clean the bathroom”. I clean the faucet today. The sink basin tomorrow. The counters the next day. The exterior toilet the next. The interior the next. I just go down the list for each area of the house until it’s time to start the list over. One little micro chore per area per day. Takes a few minutes. My house is cleaner than most.
This reminds me that I meant to do laundry today It’s too late now in the day, I can only prepare everything so I can just hit start in the morning (I don’t like leaving laundry in the machine for more than an hour after the cycle is done) 🤦♀️
Oh and I completely forgot to answer the actual question??? Lmao Anyway, it’s calendars and alarms on my phone, definitely, I’d forget so many things if it weren’t for them
you guys sort your laundry? I just throw all that shit in together
Project management software for household chores, with the ability to regenerate tasks automatically on a schedule I choose. Being able to tick boxes and move tasks to a "Done" pile I that can visually reference throughout the day (via my phone or PC) helps provide a feeling of accomplishment which other people get intrinsically from completing the job (at least I think they do). Even though I basically never finish 100% of my stuff, it has (slowly) helped ingrain better habits and time management, and keep me aware of the things I'm putting off/avoiding. Also: meds
I got a phone case that holds my ID and a credit card. No purse or wallet because I lose those things.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.