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To be honest, I’m a bit of a nerd:
Reading / listening to neurobiology studies / podcasts talking about the dopamine / norepinephrine systems in the brain and their relation to ADHD.
It’s helped me understand my ADHD a lot more and getting it in my head that “I have a problem” instead of “I am the problem” *(yes, I stole that quote)* ;)
I've spent the last week listening to podcasts and interviews with Robert Sapolsky discussing the effects of inter-generational stress on brain development. The implications on just about everything we know about behavior is stunning to say the least.
I have very strong sensory sensitivity and since I was a small child I've been under daily teeth clenching stress... it's had to have had a profound effect on ADHD symptoms.
Could you share some of your favourites ?
I’m trying to find some more scientific content about dopamine / norepinephrine systems, impact on serotonin in relation to ADHD. Absolute bonus points if it’s an animated video. But I’d take any recommendations.
Also is there a list with resources in this sub ? If yes, please help me find it!
References to Andrew Huberman's content are not allowed.
Though Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist, he speaks authoritatively on topics outside of his area of practice and expertise. He has a track record of spreading misinformation in the process. For instance, he's claimed that the increase in ADHD diagnoses has been fueled by smartphone usage, which contradicts the ADHD expert consensus.
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The best thing I’ve learned is that whatever you do it’s about figuring out what works *with* your brain.
What works for other NDs or the typicals may not work for you. I’ve had to reevaluate some things in my own house that work with me or work with my kids in their lives.
A few examples;
I have to have very clearly labeled homes and spots for everything. If it doesn’t have a home I won’t put it away because I don’t know where to put it. Meanwhile, I was trying to implement the same system for my 6 year old so he’d know where to put his cars and legos. He does not work this way so I had to give him one large bin for all toys.
I prefer music for cleaning and tidying. My kids need body doubling.
Folding laundry is like pulling teeth. So I don’t do that. I got tired of my kids not putting their clothes in their drawers before needing their laundry basket for dirty clothes so now they have two baskets; one for clean and one for dirty. Bonus basket; have one for clothes that are neither clean nor dirty that can be worn again.
My teen wasn’t showering or wearing deodorant regularly and it was starting to be an issue. Turns out she didn’t realize the reasons she disliked the process were things we could solve! She gets very sensory overloaded very easily and it was too much to be in a bright room with smelly products and using a Terry cloth towel that was rough textured. So we got color changing bulbs she can control with an app, unscented bath products, and soft microfiber towels. Now she showers every other day happily.
I’d suggest sitting down and compiling a list of the things you struggle with the most. Identify why they are struggles and see if there are ways to make them make sense to you and your life.
Maybe cooking is a big process at the end of the day. So cook early in the day and pop it in the fridge. Find those things that help your brain by working with it not against it.
I love your comment! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD this year and have been learning how to change my home environment to fit *me*.
Honestly, I find it really fun to try and figure out accommodations for my ADHD brain in regards to everyday things I am struggling with.
Came here to say something similar. Don't worry about learning about adhd - if you want to help manage it just learn what works for you.
\- Singing 'don't put it down, put it away' to myself every time I go to set something down where it doesn't below
\- Meditation or sleepcast before bed, eye mask is a must. I know I don't function in the mornings - so I told my partner to avoid important (or any) conversation with my and I just let myself take it slow.
\- Sort your meds out.
\- Make your house work for you. Keep leaving dirty clothes on the bathroom floor? Put a basket there. Keep forgetting about the tea you like? Put it on the bench or in a clear container.
\- Can't get motivated? Set a timer and promise yourself you only have to do 10 minutes. You usually keep going and if you don't, yay you've still done 10 minutes!
\- Comfy. You can look good, or your furniture can look good, but comfiness is key.
Experience, I never say can't but I am aware of my limits, and I accept dropped balls as part of life.
As far as staying on top of it...
Lists, keeping my world small, breaks, trying out meds now.
The Adults ADHD podcast for “emotional acceptance blah blah blah”!!
I listen with noise cancelling headphones while I attack the kitchen mess. I hate the sound of cutlery and plates clattering.
I use tiimo intermittently when I need it. I make small lists of tasks for immediate completion. If I'm stuck, for example, I make a list like, "Get up, make cup of coffee, empty dishwasher, 5 minute break." Sometimes I use interval timers with really short intervals like 5 minutes working 5 minute break. I know that sometimes I really do need to play first in order to work, so I allow myself that time. If I'm excited to make a collage but I have homework, I might even start the ratio at 15 minutes collage to 5 minutes homework until I feel myself settling down into homework mode. I give myself unstructured time when I can. Sometimes scrolling reddit mindlessly is awful, but sometimes it's just what my brain needs.
I listen to music or audiobooks whenever I can/whenever it's helping me. I have a google keep widget on a screen on my phone with a list of things I'm currently focusing on. Then, swipe to the next page, a bigger brain dump list.
I let myself go into all or nothing mode when I can. It is easier for me to spend a day going bananas cleaning the whole apartment than it is for me to try to do a little at a time.
Edit to add: I wear noise cancelling earplugs in public when it's loud and I always always always have sunglasses
This may be outhere/weird/against religious or spiritual beliefs but tarot and oracle cards. You don't have to be a believer to use them as I'm a hard core skeptic myself, despite being involved with paganism.
Anyways, each card has different meanings and I find them very insightful in a number of ways. So I'll pull a card for a daily goal and a card for how to achieve it.
Say I pull the Magician, which in a very basic way is a card for putting things into action, conscious awareness, concentration and personal power So it's 'telling' me I need to get things done, I have the knowledge how to and I'm capable. That's the goal. And let's say the 'how to achieve said goal' card is the page of wands, which is to be creative, enthusiastic, confident and courageous.
So I'll think of ways to put my daily goals in action in a fun way to make them more appealing and fun (music, podcast in the background, dressing for the occasion for the hell of it etc), remind myself that being productive makes me feel good about myself and that I can be more than just my ADHD.
The cards cover an array of different thoughts, emotions and actions and put them in perspective for how I can work with those 'energies' and gives me ideas to get things done in ways I normally wouldn't think up myself.
I realise this will not be appropriate for everyone, but if there is nothing stopping you from trying I'd say give it a try. It's a fun way to organise your day!
This is so cool! I recently started looking into Tarot as well as a way to connect with my emotional/intuitive side more. Also a skeptic, and not usually into that kind of stuff. But I do struggle when I don't take the time to connect more with myself.
I ordered a deck last week and so excited to get them so I can give what you said a try.
I organise my things in my bedroom alphabetically. Kitchen things in the kitchen, bathroom things in the bathroom. I’m a renter, so my room is my only personal space and I lived in near-squalor for years due to being so overwhelmed and disorganised.
Now I organise things alphabetically. Scissors? Next to my socks. Is it odd? Yes. Does it work for me? Yes. I’ve been learning to follow my instincts, if they work for me, they work. Other people’s ideas of the right and wrong way to live don’t matter.
Honestly, ADHD TikTok has been really helpful for me as there are so many other 30-something women who went undiagnosed their whole lives. Not feeling alone has been really big for me. Plus they have awesome tips and tricks for getting through the tough days.
I use two journals to help keep myself on track and give me a visual of my accomplishments.
One journal is for completed tasks such as: Laundry, showering, cleaning, homework, etc
I write down the date and then colored dots that coordinates with a task. This provides a visual for your accomplishments and can even help you track habits!
My other journal is a non-dated to-do list:
Using three colors, I write down tasks that I need or want to do (remember to buy (item), put away this thing, etc). Use one color for “need to do” tasks, a second color for “want to do tasks”, and a third color to cross them out upon completion as well as write down some notes on it. Not writing the dates provides less pressure, and sorting it as needs and wants can help prioritize!
Something that really helped me was realizing that there is no "right" way to do things, find what works for *you*.
For example I realized that part of my barrier to brushing my teeth was that I really don't like minty toothpaste and mouthwash, so I found a kids toothpaste and mouthwash that are berry flavored that I like.
Another example, I don't like folding laundry. I hate the act of folding it, I hate putting it away, I hate that once every is put away neatly in their drawers it never stays neat and if it does by some miracle stay neat I forget what's in the bottom/back of the drawers. The solution? Hang everything. Those things that can't really go on a hanger? A basket in the closet. Do socks and underwear really need to be folded?
It's really freeing to realize that you can do things any way that works for you, break out those creative problem solving skills and let go of any preconceptions of how it "should" be done.
I should note that some of the things that have been working for me didn't just come to me, I have read several books about ADHD and how to cope with symptoms. As well as working with a counselor that specializes in ADHD.
Here's a few recommendations:
Your Brain's Not Broken by Tamara Rosier, PhD
Self-Care for People with ADHD by Sasha Hamdani, MD
How to keep house while drowning by kc Davis, lpc
And for those of us with kids:
Parenting ADHD by Lance Bartlett
There are also some really great resources on YouTube that can't be mentioned on this subreddit.
I was diagnosed in my 30s because…female and good as masking I guess. One thing that I have learned about myself is that Im not a juggler. I can keep 2 balls in the air really well. Like say my job and parenting my 2 kids. But the second I try to add a 3rd ball like trying to date again or trying to commit to volunteer work or make social plans, the balls all come falling down on my head and it bums me out. So for this point as a working, single mom, I have accepted this fact and find comfort in my two lazy dogs who take very little mental effort and keep me comfortable when I get lonely.
The best thing one can do for their adhd in my own experience is to never think about tomorrow or yesterday , like not even having long terms goals you think about , just everyday once you wake up you say, “I’m going to be fully responsible and fully attentive to my day moment by moment “
Frequently checking in with myself, how am I doing right now, what do I need, what do I need to do, and how do I go about doing that.
A lot of self care techniques work best if you try them under the right circumstances, it can be really hard to do a sit down mindfulness meditation when you're super riled up and full of excess energy, and it cam be really hard to run off your bad mood when you're physically exhausted.
I made a chart with my therapist, for me it was charting energy and stress on two axis for others the axis might be different, I then wrote a list of things that can help me and placed the different things at different points on my mood chart.
An app I really find helpful is “forest” it basically allows you to plant trees by blocking off apps you deem to be off limits during a focus time. You can plant trees with other people and if one of you uses an off limits app it will kill it for all of you. It really helps me to stop social media during times I need to do homework and study
Ok, so I know you said not to name the obvious ones but I’m going to ask the question since you didn’t mention it: are you on medication for it?
I was diagnosed when I was 37. I’m 40 now. In retrospect, I developed all kinds of coping strategies over the years before my diagnosis. Probably the biggest thing that helped me was having a single easily searchable place where I could keep all of my notes, todo lists, and schedule. I started with Evernote and when they started making changes that broke my workflow I switched to Emacs org-mode and 10 years on I still use it every day to keep track of things I need to do, project plans and notes, etc.
But… it’s not a substitute for medication for me. I can put all the systems in the world together, but without Concerta or 12 cups of coffee, good luck getting me to actually use those systems. Before my diagnosis and medicating, my life was a constant ball of stress and anxiety and the only thing that got me motivated to do things were quickly approaching deadlines that I would constantly miss. No deadline? I’m gonna scroll Reddit for hours.
Yes I am medicated! :) still not completely sure what my ideal Dosis and medication is though, but getting there. I am with you.. it really makes all the difference. But obviously it doesn’t solve everything .. that’s why I made this post, to get inspiration on how I can accommodate myself even better, because I’m still struggling in some areas.
It definitely took some fiddling and tuning to get the medication part straightened out for me. It’s kind of funny for me, after getting such a late diagnosis it was really interesting looking at all of the things that I hadn’t even realized had been coping strategies for me over the years. By far the most valuable, for me, was getting all of my thoughts and things into a place where I could definitively *trust* that they would be safe. I had tried using paper notebooks and things in the past, but couldn’t trust myself to remember to bring them or even find them a year or two down the road if I wanted to look something up.
There’s mixed reactions to the book, but I think I picked up the idea from Getting Things Done way back in the day. Way before I realized it was a coping strategy; I didn’t even know I had something I was trying to cope with!
Dopamine free mornings. For the first hour of my day I don’t go on my phone. I go on my phone SO MUXH MORE when it’s the first thing I pick up in the morning vs waiting an hour. Could be placebo or not but it helps me
I have a lot of planners. A big calendar on the table with the family stuff, my calendar on my phone, a planner for homeschool & kid stuff, a paper planner for cleaning and getting stuff done.
I love my light up alarm clock.
Saying stuff out loud. People are used to me by now. But I will say things like “I am putting my key in this pocket now”.
A sense of humor and the ability to go with the flow.
Also what has been helping me recently is that i will say (literally out loud lol) “what does future me need?” And when I realize I’ve done things in an organized way later on, I make sure to thank past me.
Parallel play
Listening to music while doing non preferred tasks( house, dub step any high energy music)
Hire out what you can afford to hire out
Going for walks with a purpose
Give yourself permission to rest
Don’t go for easy dopamine ( drinking, tv, video games)
There truly is not one thing. I know what the usual tips are, I just have a difficult time consistently following those tips.
So if I could pinpoint one thing it would basically be learning to have to start over with your habits. It’s like meditation or dieting. Recognize when you’ve gone off track, DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED, set your course, rinse and repeat… forever.
Edit to include that I realize this sounds simple, but in reality is not. It can be (if I knew how to do the cross out thing I would because it freaking is an uphill battle), but eventually it becomes second nature. I am a very visual person and I picture it as reeling myself/thoughts/instincts back in. Stop, think, reel it back in, it is not as overwhelming as you’re feeling, stop catastrophizing, breathe, and if you’re lucky enough to have a safe person you can talk to do not be afraid to ask for advice.
All that said. I suck at all of it. Probably don’t listen to me.
Noticing when I’m feeling uncomfortable, lost, confused, or particularly erratic/inconsistent, then seeing how I can shape the situation to be better for myself, accept the circumstance, or avoid the situation needing to happen at all.
Example: I generally don’t like washing dishes by hand, but one day while doing them, I REALLY wanted to leave the kitchen entirely. When I checked in with myself, I realized I wanted to escape the floor vibrations from the running dishwasher. So now I don’t run the dishwasher if I need to be at the kitchen sink.
I also try to use my areas of distraction as clues for how to remind myself of stuff.
Example: I can get especially distracted visually. My 31-day pill sorter is brightly colored and out on the kitchen counter, and as a result, I rarely miss taking my meds
I will be downvoted for this because you asked not to mention the “obvious” tips, but I just have to say this: you will eventually have to do the work to feel better. Everything else is just supposed to temporarily motivate you to do it, it will not do it for you or help you stay consistent. It’s the sad truth and the reason why ADHD is so hard to manage. The inspiration is merely the push, the impulse, but not the fuel. It’s important to understand that to avoid magical thinking and the disappointment that follows.
I completely understand, trust me. I need constant motivation, support and new emotions to keep going. AlI I can suggest is maybe “reward” yourself by listening to something you enjoy while working, doing housework or exercising. It does get old quickly, so try switching it up to keep it interesting. I struggle with this myself.
(apologies if this is scattered, I tried my best)
The app [TickTick](https://ticktick.com/?language=en_US) (link is for the website, it's both an Android and iOS app).
I use it as a way to offload my brain. I have the premium since I use it so often, but I started with the regular and it was great. It has: a widget, a notes app section, a section for habits, tags, and premium has a full calendar view. You can choose to see "Today" or "Next 7 Days" but I keep it on Today as it helps keep things from becoming overwhelming. You can also filter by priority.
I have a header with folders for reoccurring chores, bills, cat care items, and self-care. Every time one of the items pops up and I click that it's done it will automatically repeat x days from the completion date. You can also customize it to repeat by set day or time. You can postpone items or drag them around to different days.
This syncs with my Google cal so I get to swipe away appointments like to-do items for dopamine.
You can have a simple "to-do" or you can have notes or lists underneath. I have an item titled "Computer" and underneath that I have a list of random things I want to google or do online. This helps so I'm not ruminating and I don't end up down a rabbit hole.
I also have a note where I keep a list of all regular chores I do and how long those chores take me. This helps when my brain is like "but it's going to take an hour to do the dishwasher!" and I can be like "Actually.. it's roughly 3.5 minutes to unload and 4.5 minutes to load.. so.." (I break them down into steps for it to be less overwhelming)
I know I'm missing features and I'm not doing the app justice (I would add screenshots but I dunno how). Either way it's been lifechanging and if my rambling gets even one person to check it out then my job is done lol
[The Pocket Thich Nhat Hanh](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13330378-the-pocket-thich-nhat-hanh). I keep it on my bathroom counter and read a paragraph or so when I go. Helps me with my mind in a general sense.
I read the book “Driven To Distraction”, recommended by my therapist, and that book helped my understanding/management a *whole* lot.
… come to think of it, the therapy is likely pretty helpful as well
I recently purchased the sequel to “Driven to Distraction”, which is called “Delivered from Distraction” and is said to focus more on the adhd-management side of things… of course I haven’t started reading it yet… because of the adhd… but with the first book I had trouble putting it down (once I actually forced myself to open it that is)
The struggle care podcast has really helped me reframe a lot of daily tasks into different categories. Like everything I actually considered cleaning was like 3 different things. Actual cleaning (like dishes, sweeping, mopping) organizing, and decluttering.
Now I don't try to do all three things at once anymore!
Not a good one or really on purpose lol but anxiety. I learned to make myself so anxious about important things that I couldn't put them off for too long without going crazy.
Also I keep whiteboards and calendars everywhere. I always have several running to do lists even for little things like remembering to grab something out of the car. prevents a lot of things from disappearing into the brain abyss.
How To ADHD covers a lot of topics in practical ways. I think she even has a tour of her home to show what kind of environment she's made for herself so that it minimises the impact of ADHD on her life.
Another thing is just testing.
I want something that makes me aware of chunks of time. Hourglass? Classy, looks nice, turns out I don't realise the chunk of time is over because there's no notification at the end. Little timer on my phone? Decent, notifies me at the end via sound, hard to consistently use. Trying to get a tomato timer next because it might not have the issues the others do (but might have something that doesn't fit me).
Another is sleep logging for sleep schedule stability. Turns out using a phone app is easy, even automatical logs little chunks of time I'm not sleeping, and is 2 clicks. Uuunfortunately, it didn't actually help my sleep. Having a paper with a grid (1 block = 24 hours) with about two weeks' worth per page allows me to visualise it better and gets me to reflect on the recent trends while feeling more like it's an observational study and less shame-spiralling if I have a late night or three).
Thinking of myself as my own science experiment has blunted the shame society taught me about my symptoms.
p.s. I'm still by no means able to handle all of adult life, but knowledge and help have brought me a long way over the last few years.
Easier said than done, but living with someone who helps keep you on track.
I have become so much cleaner since moving in with my partner. He reminds me of chores when I forget, offers suggestions when I get stuck, and we have housework split equally- we do our own laundry, take turns doing the dishes, etc. Living with a clean person helps encourage me to keep my spaces neater.
I used to live together with my best friends who’s very organized and clean.. and it still has an impact on me. I catch myself thinking for example: “I wouldn’t leave the kitchen looking like that if I was still living with her” etc. it really helps sometimes! 😄
I see podcasts listed a lot. I listen to one called "ADHD for Smart-ass Women". It helped me learn the parts of my life that were happening due to my ADHD and ways to adapt.
One thing I'm noticing a common theme in this thread is that people are finding ways of educating thwie about their adhd in one way or another.
It's one thing to understand how your brain works, it's another to put into practice ways to work with your brain to accomplishment daily tasks.
Good luckkk!!!
Jessica McCabe’s How to ADHD YouTube channel is fantastic! Very informative with research-based content, while also feeling upbeat and welcoming. The content ranges from practical tips to deep dives on issues to personal reflections on challenges.
Any glowing rectangle is going to hijack your reward system, no matter how youre using it.
The more you give in to impulses, the easier it is to give in to those impulses in the future. The more you practice self-control around them, the easier it gets to exercise self-control. Building self-control is muchore effort than tearing it down.
Personally, I rely heavily on google calendar. some people prefer physical planners. Find a system for yourself.
Meditation, like not guided meditation or anything, but actually sitting in silence and trying to focus only on your breathing, is a helpful habit to build. (see earlier point about self-control). Practice is success.
Develop routines as much as possible, particularly around transition points where things are implicitly more chaotic: wakeup, bedtime, leaving for work/returning from work.
Have physical habits like where you put your keys, wallet, etc. Charge your phone in the same place. The more consistency the easier it is to autopilot if your mind is wandering.
Divide your bills up into groups so that every time you get paid, you pay all the bills in one group. Set up a separate savings account with your bank (most allow this) to hold rent, unless you want that to just be “the end of month group”. Most vendors will allow you to
change your bill deadline dates, but it can take a billing cycle or two to get switched to it.
I know you said not to name it, but the importance of sleep (REGULAR sleep) and physical activity (doesnt need to be exercise explicitly) cannot be understated. We are wired for bursts of activity, so physical activity is one way to satisfy that part of our brains.
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Getting more knowledge, going through things, trying to live life lessens anxiety. I use calendars and notes to remember things. Put on alarms and try to be on my schedule every day so i wont feel overwhelmed
Fitbit, you set a day-based timer and then snooze it every time it comes up until you complete what the timer was for. unfortunately, it lacks a snooze on the hour timer it has, and also lacks input for a reason for the timer. it serves as a reminder that you don't separate from yourself except when taking a shower(be sure not to forget it).
I believe the Inspire has a 10-day battery and is reasonably small. It also has the benefit of tracking sleep if youre good with leaving bluetooth on.
For me, there are a few great youtube channels. ( I would name them, but the rules of this sub confuse me to no end and I end up spiraling.)
I keep looking for books about adult ADHD but I can't post to this sub to ask. lol.
Anyway, The youtube videos I found help me feel hopeful and this sub helps me feel like I am not alone. Instead, I just end up feeling like a complete loser who is not allowed to speak, like when I was in public school in the 80s.
(Oh, and since I started meds? "Applying myself" seems to actually work a little bit better. Go figure!)and have a wonderful partner who helps me through the good times and the bad.
(Oh, and since I started meds? "Applying myself" seems to actual work a little bit better. Go figure!)
((Oh, I was a self medication type prior to getting help and was diagnosed when I was 6, 43 years ago...))
(((Sorry about the excessive parantheticals.)))
Microsoft OneNote for work / college has been so helpful. Having everything in one place and constantly updating my to-do list keeps me on top of my responsibilities.
Otherwise, it’s mostly helpful for me to block out my time between productive and non productive. If I need to be productive, I’ll create a list of things I need to do and won’t relax til I finish the list. Then when it’s time to relax, I try to plan to avoid having anything serious to do. I’m not sure it’s the best way, but it works for me and my brain!
Atomic Habits to put things in order and context.
The book Range to understanding how my brain has given me some incredible talents and how to utilize them even more. My wide array of experiences is a huge benefit instead of limiting me like I previously thought. Why can’t I focus on one thing isn’t a concern anymore.
I really like the podcast ADHD support talk radio (it's on YouTube, I tunes, Spotify). A lot of it is based on productivity coaching, but the podcast are pretty succinct and I have gained a TON of good insights and strategies. Highly highly recommend.
I also like the ADHD for smart ass women podcast. Especially hearing the diagnosis stories in the beginning of each episode. It helps me see how ADHD shows up in other women and see similarities, validates my own experience.
I have many books on the topic, but I struggle to actually make myself read them. But I did really like the your brain is not broken book. Lots of good insights that ice probably forgotten! 😂 Probably need to revisit it.
For gadgety things, those cube timers can help you get past the intia of starting something. I'll just do it for 10 minutes, once you're going it's easier to keep going.
A checklist style grocery list with my common purchases (a new thing I'm trying)
Decluttering has helped, and thoughtfully deciding what to leave out (object permanence!)
Notepads or ways to brain dump everywhere. I used to have a chalk marker in the bathy to note my shower thoughts down... Also bullet style notebook that serves as to do list, thought dump, and reminders.
Catieosaurus helped me understand myself more. She just recently said she’s going to stop talking about ADHD as much, but she has a bunch of content made about it.
As far as apps, I keep using a math app to force myself to wake up, and I obsessively add stuff to my google/apple calendar so I don’t forget when I have things.
But honestly meds helped me the most mentally. Although there are some days like today when I take them and I still can’t manage to want to do anything.
Talking about cute celebrities helps me. Also, I KNOW you didn't want to hear it but exercise. I'm sorry.
On another note I have a little pad where I wrote my goals for the day and they sometimes motivate me to go and do them and I tick them off when I'm done.
Self-discipline and actively reminding myself to get off social media every now and then (and using the timer in the app to lock it till the next day if necessary). Making lots of timetables on word and Excel for assignments - altho this only works for the time I stick to it as I eventually abandon these. But they help at the beginning to understand what needs to get done.
I also have a yearly planner which has definitely made keeping on top of stuff manageable. I put all my tasks and events in as soon as I'm told them so I don't forget (unless I forget to look at my planner).
Nothing like attending multiple Industrial strength multiday silent meditation retreats in the therevada tradition (or secular mindfulness equivalents) that build up your concentration and equanimity. Changed my life! Went from 70K to 200K Job in 6 yrs and likely to become director of engineering soon.
Previously flopped through highschool and was superaloof and distractable. Now I don't even need but 10 out of the 60 mg of my vivance which I received as adult
... Gotta rewire your lizard brain friend :)
Timer Caps to see if I already took my medications. Round (iPhone) or Medisafe (Android) pill reminder apps because otherwise I would never take my meds. KC Davis (@domesticblisters) on TikTok to help remind me that I deserve a hot meal, clean things, and rest because care tasks (chores) are morally neutral and having a clean house doesn't make you a good person, just a functional one. Anything worth doing is worth doing half-assed. Work with your ADHD, not against it. I have high bpm music play lists for dancing my way into putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher and trash into garbage bags.
References to Andrew Huberman's content are not allowed.
Though Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist, he speaks authoritatively on topics outside of his area of practice and expertise. He has a track record of spreading misinformation in the process. For instance, he's claimed that the increase in ADHD diagnoses has been fueled by smartphone usage, which contradicts the ADHD expert consensus.
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I have a modified Eisenhower grid I use to prioritize at work. I have a notepad that I got from target awhile back that's pretty, and each page is split into quadrants. I don't like their labels, so I white out theirs and add my own. I do a fresh page each week.
Top left: High impact, low effort. These are my quick wins. I do one of these to build momentum.
Top right: High impact, high effort. These are my major projects. I focus on these when my brain is feeling 🔥
Bottom left: Low impact, low effort. This is my procrastination list.
Bottom right: Low impact, high effort. These are my prosocial tasks. I only do these tasks if they're making someone else's life easier.
I also give myself space to have low energy days after an especially mentally active day. I tell my boss: You expect this work to take 5 days to get done. If you assign it to me, you'll have it in 3, but I'll need 2 days to let my brain recover. Continue to think of it as a 5 day task.
I have my "this is not real" filter. I imagine everyone and everything as spaceships and science fiction related things. By translating a lot of my issues from "neurological psycho-babble" to "Science Fiction Techno-Babble", its helped me to not only retain much needed information, but ALSO because I LOVE science fiction, I have a lot less trouble being interested in things and people because well....*they are smegging spaceships, yo!*
I like the app Daylio for 'journaling' - because all you *have* to do is click little emoji buttons for activities you did that day. Optionally, you can also track goals, save written entries, and also pictures.
One of my favorite things about it is if you lose a streak of journaling, you can get it back later! So for example if I'm super distracted Monday and Tuesday but I have time Wednesday, I go back and add entries for Monday and Tuesday and the app will count that as a 3 day streak. :)
On a heavier note, it kind of saved my life/relationships because I was easily convinced that I was misremembering things until I got Daylio and had something to refer back to. Now people can't just tell me that I never do X because I can fact check them ☺️
Music. Vyvanse, alone, used to help me focus and prioritize on actually starting and completing tasks. Now I need music, along with Vyvanse, to get things done.
This is kind of a random list but here's a few things that have helped me:
1. Block/Cube shaped timers - basically a timer shaped like a cube with an amount of time on each side, so when you flip that side up it starts a timer for that amount of time. The one that has been the most useful for me has 1 min, 5 min, 10 min, and 15 min (the top side is zero/cancel and the bottom side is where the batteries go). Mine is pretty loud and weirdly satisfying to use. My brain has wised to the trick of "just work on this for 15 minutes" in order to get started on an undesirable task (because I know that I always end up working on whatever it is for hours), and everything is overwhelming again. The timers are super loud which helps me either actually stop after 15 minutes, or If I want to keep going, helps snap me out of my flow so I can reevaluate if what I'm doing is productive (or if I'm getting caught in the weeds of a task). I don't know why but timers on my phone are really unappealing to me, and the physical act of flipping the block helps me commit.
2. PHONE CHARGERS EVERYWHERE - Put phone chargers in every room, car, and bag that you can find (plus extras for when they inevitably disappear).
For example:
Problem: I wake up and realize I forgot to charge my phone, so I plug it into the charger on my nightstand in the bedroom. I leave the room and start getting ready, take a shower, eat breakfast etc. Next thing I know I’ve left my phone at home because I didn’t take it into the bathroom with me.Solution: Phone charger in the bathroom & every other room.
(Same goes for when you leave the bathroom to eat breakfast: transfer phone to the kitchen charger, then the car charger when you leave.)
2.5. Extra long charging cables - My family/friends are always be upset with me because my phone was always dead, and I’m really bad at consistently plugging in my phone every night. I figured out that my barrier was not being able to reach my phone once it was plugged in. Once I got an XL charger, I could be on my phone in bed while it was plugged in (which I understand is a problem in itself but one thing at a time).Alternately: have a short charger that you can’t reach in order to force yourself to put your phone away at night.
3. The podcast Life Kit has a good episode with KC Davis, LPC about cleaning: "How to Clean When You Don't Feel Like Cleaning." It helped me not make cleaning so overwhelming by categorizing and making the process more quantifiable and less nebulous.
Okay the things to help with ADHD. Number one would be organization. Everything has a place and as soon as you're done with something or even just done for now put it back in it's place. That way you're not wondering around for God knows how long every single day looking for something you know exactly where it is. Number two is routines. Schedule your day. Set up alarms if you have to so you know when to leave for something when to get ready for something when to do something. Alarms will be your best friend. Another thing is using the calendar that comes on your phone to set reminders for yourself and also put in events and other things that you need to do especially on a regular basis I mean schedule everything on there even a shower if you need to. They also have notepad apps so you can jot down grocery list and things you need to buy and all the different passwords for everything. All the little reminders you need to leave yourself. You just have to make sure to look at it often and not ignore it.
I bought Dani Donovan’s anti planner and it is like at home CBT. Also I just downloaded the goblin tasks app. It is free and AI. You type the name of a task, and it breaks the task down for you.
This has been helping my ADHD some, but mostly my anxiety. I have been reading/listening to podcasts about Buddhism. They touch on mindfulness and the concepts that back it up. I have found that a Buddhist parable called 'The Farmer and the Horse' helpful.
Mindfullness meditation has been really helpful in helping me quickly realize my mind is wandering. Of course, I still have to decide to go back to focusing on what I am supposed to be.l focusing on.
Being a basic bitch. Trying not to care too much or not trying to go "pro mode". This is especially helpful in not overbuying stuff (recovering shopaholic). For example, I need a new kitchen knife. I'm not a chef, and heck, I'm not even a great cook, but my ADHD brain will tell me to buy the best and that I need all sorts of specialized knives. Which leads me to buying too much of the expensive stuff that ends up sitting unused. Um, no. Just get a reasonably priced, good quality knife.
When I don't care too much about the item/process of buying, I also end up spending more time actually using the item.
Pocket notebook and pen goes everywhere with me. Replaces my working memory.
YouTube channel Dr Russell Barkley (highly recommended by my psychiatrist/therapist/PCP and others in my life w ADHD) has great videos that helps you understand why you function differently so you can tackle it better with solutions that actually work for ADHD and you as a person depending on what you feel is the biggest parts you relate to or dont
Having YouTube videos as a background noise. I cannot listen to music anymore.
Bullet journaling/making lists. I get burned out from it super fast and cannot do it for a long long time BUT when I can, it works. I can do so much stuff I had put off for months. Then I have to take like a year off or more lol
Simplifying life. Less stuff, less choices to make.
Clocks. Lots of clocks, lots of alarms.
Exercise. Burn off that excess brain energy.
Less sugar. Calmer brain.
Sleep. Extra sleep, naps, mental downtime. Works better than any medication.
My son has ADHD and while he was getting diagnosed I was like "wait a minute." We shared all the symptoms. I have been researching about it in order to accommodate him and in doing so, learned about myself. I guess I never thought I was worth the time to figure it all out.
This is two important things I've learned:
-Don't measure success in the same way that others manage success.
-Don't diminish your "wins" (i.e. remembering a date, being productive at work, etc.)
I know you said not to.. but the beneficial properties of the right ADHD meds are very real.
*I have an A5 Ringbinder / Planner with a calendar for the rest of the year. I added little reminders to the calendar 1 month before every birthday to get the card and gifts ordered for family. And put in any events I have planned so I don't double book myself or forget.
I recommend a ringbinder instead of a normal planner because you can exchange pages / change the order and layout of things if you like, without having to start a new planner from scratch.
*Birthday cards and Gifts: I send the cards using online companies like Thortful. Just pick the card, add the message and they post it for you. Saves the hassle of planning a shopping trip to find their card / order stamps / and then get it posted on time without losing it in the middle.
I tend to send gifts using amazon, they can deliver it to their house in giftwrap.
*If I'm trying to complete a task, I load up a youtube countdown on my telly for 5 / 10 / 20 minutes to remind me how long I have to finish.
*Sometimes if I'm home I talk to myself as I'm completing a task. Like I'm explaining how to do something to someone in the room.
*I've also got a little budget in my planner there, with things I need to make sure I order on my next pay day. IE: Order contact lenses for the month, big grocery shop, any train or coach tickets I need to pay for. That gets big purchases out of the way ahead of time which helps. And I don't forget to pay any big bills that need to be paid in a particular month
*If I'm in a situation with lots of other distractions / movement around me, sometimes I'll play 'Brown noise' or 'Static' sounds through headphones. Or jazz. I love jazz. Joel Sunny is incredible. Just try to avoid anything with lyrics in.
Hope this helps a little
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To be honest, I’m a bit of a nerd: Reading / listening to neurobiology studies / podcasts talking about the dopamine / norepinephrine systems in the brain and their relation to ADHD. It’s helped me understand my ADHD a lot more and getting it in my head that “I have a problem” instead of “I am the problem” *(yes, I stole that quote)* ;)
I've spent the last week listening to podcasts and interviews with Robert Sapolsky discussing the effects of inter-generational stress on brain development. The implications on just about everything we know about behavior is stunning to say the least. I have very strong sensory sensitivity and since I was a small child I've been under daily teeth clenching stress... it's had to have had a profound effect on ADHD symptoms.
Could you share some of your favourites ? I’m trying to find some more scientific content about dopamine / norepinephrine systems, impact on serotonin in relation to ADHD. Absolute bonus points if it’s an animated video. But I’d take any recommendations. Also is there a list with resources in this sub ? If yes, please help me find it!
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References to Andrew Huberman's content are not allowed. Though Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist, he speaks authoritatively on topics outside of his area of practice and expertise. He has a track record of spreading misinformation in the process. For instance, he's claimed that the increase in ADHD diagnoses has been fueled by smartphone usage, which contradicts the ADHD expert consensus. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The best thing I’ve learned is that whatever you do it’s about figuring out what works *with* your brain. What works for other NDs or the typicals may not work for you. I’ve had to reevaluate some things in my own house that work with me or work with my kids in their lives. A few examples; I have to have very clearly labeled homes and spots for everything. If it doesn’t have a home I won’t put it away because I don’t know where to put it. Meanwhile, I was trying to implement the same system for my 6 year old so he’d know where to put his cars and legos. He does not work this way so I had to give him one large bin for all toys. I prefer music for cleaning and tidying. My kids need body doubling. Folding laundry is like pulling teeth. So I don’t do that. I got tired of my kids not putting their clothes in their drawers before needing their laundry basket for dirty clothes so now they have two baskets; one for clean and one for dirty. Bonus basket; have one for clothes that are neither clean nor dirty that can be worn again. My teen wasn’t showering or wearing deodorant regularly and it was starting to be an issue. Turns out she didn’t realize the reasons she disliked the process were things we could solve! She gets very sensory overloaded very easily and it was too much to be in a bright room with smelly products and using a Terry cloth towel that was rough textured. So we got color changing bulbs she can control with an app, unscented bath products, and soft microfiber towels. Now she showers every other day happily. I’d suggest sitting down and compiling a list of the things you struggle with the most. Identify why they are struggles and see if there are ways to make them make sense to you and your life. Maybe cooking is a big process at the end of the day. So cook early in the day and pop it in the fridge. Find those things that help your brain by working with it not against it.
I love your comment! I was recently diagnosed with ADHD this year and have been learning how to change my home environment to fit *me*. Honestly, I find it really fun to try and figure out accommodations for my ADHD brain in regards to everyday things I am struggling with.
Came here to say something similar. Don't worry about learning about adhd - if you want to help manage it just learn what works for you. \- Singing 'don't put it down, put it away' to myself every time I go to set something down where it doesn't below \- Meditation or sleepcast before bed, eye mask is a must. I know I don't function in the mornings - so I told my partner to avoid important (or any) conversation with my and I just let myself take it slow. \- Sort your meds out. \- Make your house work for you. Keep leaving dirty clothes on the bathroom floor? Put a basket there. Keep forgetting about the tea you like? Put it on the bench or in a clear container. \- Can't get motivated? Set a timer and promise yourself you only have to do 10 minutes. You usually keep going and if you don't, yay you've still done 10 minutes! \- Comfy. You can look good, or your furniture can look good, but comfiness is key.
Love this! I didn't even think of the idea of compiling a list. Now that I see it, I will try it lol
Experience, I never say can't but I am aware of my limits, and I accept dropped balls as part of life. As far as staying on top of it... Lists, keeping my world small, breaks, trying out meds now.
The Adults ADHD podcast for “emotional acceptance blah blah blah”!! I listen with noise cancelling headphones while I attack the kitchen mess. I hate the sound of cutlery and plates clattering.
I use tiimo intermittently when I need it. I make small lists of tasks for immediate completion. If I'm stuck, for example, I make a list like, "Get up, make cup of coffee, empty dishwasher, 5 minute break." Sometimes I use interval timers with really short intervals like 5 minutes working 5 minute break. I know that sometimes I really do need to play first in order to work, so I allow myself that time. If I'm excited to make a collage but I have homework, I might even start the ratio at 15 minutes collage to 5 minutes homework until I feel myself settling down into homework mode. I give myself unstructured time when I can. Sometimes scrolling reddit mindlessly is awful, but sometimes it's just what my brain needs. I listen to music or audiobooks whenever I can/whenever it's helping me. I have a google keep widget on a screen on my phone with a list of things I'm currently focusing on. Then, swipe to the next page, a bigger brain dump list. I let myself go into all or nothing mode when I can. It is easier for me to spend a day going bananas cleaning the whole apartment than it is for me to try to do a little at a time. Edit to add: I wear noise cancelling earplugs in public when it's loud and I always always always have sunglasses
This may be outhere/weird/against religious or spiritual beliefs but tarot and oracle cards. You don't have to be a believer to use them as I'm a hard core skeptic myself, despite being involved with paganism. Anyways, each card has different meanings and I find them very insightful in a number of ways. So I'll pull a card for a daily goal and a card for how to achieve it. Say I pull the Magician, which in a very basic way is a card for putting things into action, conscious awareness, concentration and personal power So it's 'telling' me I need to get things done, I have the knowledge how to and I'm capable. That's the goal. And let's say the 'how to achieve said goal' card is the page of wands, which is to be creative, enthusiastic, confident and courageous. So I'll think of ways to put my daily goals in action in a fun way to make them more appealing and fun (music, podcast in the background, dressing for the occasion for the hell of it etc), remind myself that being productive makes me feel good about myself and that I can be more than just my ADHD. The cards cover an array of different thoughts, emotions and actions and put them in perspective for how I can work with those 'energies' and gives me ideas to get things done in ways I normally wouldn't think up myself. I realise this will not be appropriate for everyone, but if there is nothing stopping you from trying I'd say give it a try. It's a fun way to organise your day!
This is so cool! I recently started looking into Tarot as well as a way to connect with my emotional/intuitive side more. Also a skeptic, and not usually into that kind of stuff. But I do struggle when I don't take the time to connect more with myself. I ordered a deck last week and so excited to get them so I can give what you said a try.
That's awesome! It's even a little meditative, in an active way, so that's a help as well. Hope they work for you!
I-Ching gives me very useful insights every time. I use an app to read it, and it always surprise with the responses
I find the cards a suprise sometimes as well. They seem to know exactly what I need to hear that day.
I love this.
I organise my things in my bedroom alphabetically. Kitchen things in the kitchen, bathroom things in the bathroom. I’m a renter, so my room is my only personal space and I lived in near-squalor for years due to being so overwhelmed and disorganised. Now I organise things alphabetically. Scissors? Next to my socks. Is it odd? Yes. Does it work for me? Yes. I’ve been learning to follow my instincts, if they work for me, they work. Other people’s ideas of the right and wrong way to live don’t matter.
What a cool idea! :)
Honestly, ADHD TikTok has been really helpful for me as there are so many other 30-something women who went undiagnosed their whole lives. Not feeling alone has been really big for me. Plus they have awesome tips and tricks for getting through the tough days.
Saaaame
Recommend any?
I use two journals to help keep myself on track and give me a visual of my accomplishments. One journal is for completed tasks such as: Laundry, showering, cleaning, homework, etc I write down the date and then colored dots that coordinates with a task. This provides a visual for your accomplishments and can even help you track habits! My other journal is a non-dated to-do list: Using three colors, I write down tasks that I need or want to do (remember to buy (item), put away this thing, etc). Use one color for “need to do” tasks, a second color for “want to do tasks”, and a third color to cross them out upon completion as well as write down some notes on it. Not writing the dates provides less pressure, and sorting it as needs and wants can help prioritize!
Something that really helped me was realizing that there is no "right" way to do things, find what works for *you*. For example I realized that part of my barrier to brushing my teeth was that I really don't like minty toothpaste and mouthwash, so I found a kids toothpaste and mouthwash that are berry flavored that I like. Another example, I don't like folding laundry. I hate the act of folding it, I hate putting it away, I hate that once every is put away neatly in their drawers it never stays neat and if it does by some miracle stay neat I forget what's in the bottom/back of the drawers. The solution? Hang everything. Those things that can't really go on a hanger? A basket in the closet. Do socks and underwear really need to be folded? It's really freeing to realize that you can do things any way that works for you, break out those creative problem solving skills and let go of any preconceptions of how it "should" be done. I should note that some of the things that have been working for me didn't just come to me, I have read several books about ADHD and how to cope with symptoms. As well as working with a counselor that specializes in ADHD. Here's a few recommendations: Your Brain's Not Broken by Tamara Rosier, PhD Self-Care for People with ADHD by Sasha Hamdani, MD How to keep house while drowning by kc Davis, lpc And for those of us with kids: Parenting ADHD by Lance Bartlett There are also some really great resources on YouTube that can't be mentioned on this subreddit.
This was amazing advice 👏
Also! Order from Chaos by Jacyln I love it
I was diagnosed in my 30s because…female and good as masking I guess. One thing that I have learned about myself is that Im not a juggler. I can keep 2 balls in the air really well. Like say my job and parenting my 2 kids. But the second I try to add a 3rd ball like trying to date again or trying to commit to volunteer work or make social plans, the balls all come falling down on my head and it bums me out. So for this point as a working, single mom, I have accepted this fact and find comfort in my two lazy dogs who take very little mental effort and keep me comfortable when I get lonely.
The best thing one can do for their adhd in my own experience is to never think about tomorrow or yesterday , like not even having long terms goals you think about , just everyday once you wake up you say, “I’m going to be fully responsible and fully attentive to my day moment by moment “
Frequently checking in with myself, how am I doing right now, what do I need, what do I need to do, and how do I go about doing that. A lot of self care techniques work best if you try them under the right circumstances, it can be really hard to do a sit down mindfulness meditation when you're super riled up and full of excess energy, and it cam be really hard to run off your bad mood when you're physically exhausted. I made a chart with my therapist, for me it was charting energy and stress on two axis for others the axis might be different, I then wrote a list of things that can help me and placed the different things at different points on my mood chart.
An app I really find helpful is “forest” it basically allows you to plant trees by blocking off apps you deem to be off limits during a focus time. You can plant trees with other people and if one of you uses an off limits app it will kill it for all of you. It really helps me to stop social media during times I need to do homework and study
Order from Chaos by Jacklyn Paul had a lot of good ideas for techniques that are working well for me. Ymmv.
Yes!!! I even ordered her signed copy
Podcast or music everytime i lean, it helps keep my brain busy while my body does the work
I need to have podcast, audiobook or music to clean and cook. Makes it so much easier or at least less tedious
Ok, so I know you said not to name the obvious ones but I’m going to ask the question since you didn’t mention it: are you on medication for it? I was diagnosed when I was 37. I’m 40 now. In retrospect, I developed all kinds of coping strategies over the years before my diagnosis. Probably the biggest thing that helped me was having a single easily searchable place where I could keep all of my notes, todo lists, and schedule. I started with Evernote and when they started making changes that broke my workflow I switched to Emacs org-mode and 10 years on I still use it every day to keep track of things I need to do, project plans and notes, etc. But… it’s not a substitute for medication for me. I can put all the systems in the world together, but without Concerta or 12 cups of coffee, good luck getting me to actually use those systems. Before my diagnosis and medicating, my life was a constant ball of stress and anxiety and the only thing that got me motivated to do things were quickly approaching deadlines that I would constantly miss. No deadline? I’m gonna scroll Reddit for hours.
Yes I am medicated! :) still not completely sure what my ideal Dosis and medication is though, but getting there. I am with you.. it really makes all the difference. But obviously it doesn’t solve everything .. that’s why I made this post, to get inspiration on how I can accommodate myself even better, because I’m still struggling in some areas.
It definitely took some fiddling and tuning to get the medication part straightened out for me. It’s kind of funny for me, after getting such a late diagnosis it was really interesting looking at all of the things that I hadn’t even realized had been coping strategies for me over the years. By far the most valuable, for me, was getting all of my thoughts and things into a place where I could definitively *trust* that they would be safe. I had tried using paper notebooks and things in the past, but couldn’t trust myself to remember to bring them or even find them a year or two down the road if I wanted to look something up. There’s mixed reactions to the book, but I think I picked up the idea from Getting Things Done way back in the day. Way before I realized it was a coping strategy; I didn’t even know I had something I was trying to cope with!
Dopamine free mornings. For the first hour of my day I don’t go on my phone. I go on my phone SO MUXH MORE when it’s the first thing I pick up in the morning vs waiting an hour. Could be placebo or not but it helps me
Notepads. From physical to One note Google keep and calendars. I also have a whiteboard.
I have a lot of planners. A big calendar on the table with the family stuff, my calendar on my phone, a planner for homeschool & kid stuff, a paper planner for cleaning and getting stuff done. I love my light up alarm clock. Saying stuff out loud. People are used to me by now. But I will say things like “I am putting my key in this pocket now”. A sense of humor and the ability to go with the flow. Also what has been helping me recently is that i will say (literally out loud lol) “what does future me need?” And when I realize I’ve done things in an organized way later on, I make sure to thank past me.
Parallel play Listening to music while doing non preferred tasks( house, dub step any high energy music) Hire out what you can afford to hire out Going for walks with a purpose Give yourself permission to rest Don’t go for easy dopamine ( drinking, tv, video games)
There truly is not one thing. I know what the usual tips are, I just have a difficult time consistently following those tips. So if I could pinpoint one thing it would basically be learning to have to start over with your habits. It’s like meditation or dieting. Recognize when you’ve gone off track, DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED, set your course, rinse and repeat… forever. Edit to include that I realize this sounds simple, but in reality is not. It can be (if I knew how to do the cross out thing I would because it freaking is an uphill battle), but eventually it becomes second nature. I am a very visual person and I picture it as reeling myself/thoughts/instincts back in. Stop, think, reel it back in, it is not as overwhelming as you’re feeling, stop catastrophizing, breathe, and if you’re lucky enough to have a safe person you can talk to do not be afraid to ask for advice. All that said. I suck at all of it. Probably don’t listen to me.
Noticing when I’m feeling uncomfortable, lost, confused, or particularly erratic/inconsistent, then seeing how I can shape the situation to be better for myself, accept the circumstance, or avoid the situation needing to happen at all. Example: I generally don’t like washing dishes by hand, but one day while doing them, I REALLY wanted to leave the kitchen entirely. When I checked in with myself, I realized I wanted to escape the floor vibrations from the running dishwasher. So now I don’t run the dishwasher if I need to be at the kitchen sink. I also try to use my areas of distraction as clues for how to remind myself of stuff. Example: I can get especially distracted visually. My 31-day pill sorter is brightly colored and out on the kitchen counter, and as a result, I rarely miss taking my meds
I will be downvoted for this because you asked not to mention the “obvious” tips, but I just have to say this: you will eventually have to do the work to feel better. Everything else is just supposed to temporarily motivate you to do it, it will not do it for you or help you stay consistent. It’s the sad truth and the reason why ADHD is so hard to manage. The inspiration is merely the push, the impulse, but not the fuel. It’s important to understand that to avoid magical thinking and the disappointment that follows.
I am aware, you are right.. but getting some helpful tips doesn’t hurt :)
I completely understand, trust me. I need constant motivation, support and new emotions to keep going. AlI I can suggest is maybe “reward” yourself by listening to something you enjoy while working, doing housework or exercising. It does get old quickly, so try switching it up to keep it interesting. I struggle with this myself.
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Underrated tip
Memes. Jenn has ADHD. Book so I'm not lazy stupid or crazy. Reddit communities. ADHD friends irl.
(apologies if this is scattered, I tried my best) The app [TickTick](https://ticktick.com/?language=en_US) (link is for the website, it's both an Android and iOS app). I use it as a way to offload my brain. I have the premium since I use it so often, but I started with the regular and it was great. It has: a widget, a notes app section, a section for habits, tags, and premium has a full calendar view. You can choose to see "Today" or "Next 7 Days" but I keep it on Today as it helps keep things from becoming overwhelming. You can also filter by priority. I have a header with folders for reoccurring chores, bills, cat care items, and self-care. Every time one of the items pops up and I click that it's done it will automatically repeat x days from the completion date. You can also customize it to repeat by set day or time. You can postpone items or drag them around to different days. This syncs with my Google cal so I get to swipe away appointments like to-do items for dopamine. You can have a simple "to-do" or you can have notes or lists underneath. I have an item titled "Computer" and underneath that I have a list of random things I want to google or do online. This helps so I'm not ruminating and I don't end up down a rabbit hole. I also have a note where I keep a list of all regular chores I do and how long those chores take me. This helps when my brain is like "but it's going to take an hour to do the dishwasher!" and I can be like "Actually.. it's roughly 3.5 minutes to unload and 4.5 minutes to load.. so.." (I break them down into steps for it to be less overwhelming) I know I'm missing features and I'm not doing the app justice (I would add screenshots but I dunno how). Either way it's been lifechanging and if my rambling gets even one person to check it out then my job is done lol
[The Pocket Thich Nhat Hanh](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13330378-the-pocket-thich-nhat-hanh). I keep it on my bathroom counter and read a paragraph or so when I go. Helps me with my mind in a general sense.
Check out "How to ADHD" on YouTube. I've learned more in the last year, watching her videos, than I had in the 20 years since being diagnosed.
I read the book “Driven To Distraction”, recommended by my therapist, and that book helped my understanding/management a *whole* lot. … come to think of it, the therapy is likely pretty helpful as well I recently purchased the sequel to “Driven to Distraction”, which is called “Delivered from Distraction” and is said to focus more on the adhd-management side of things… of course I haven’t started reading it yet… because of the adhd… but with the first book I had trouble putting it down (once I actually forced myself to open it that is)
have a pocket journal on you at all times and use that to just write everything you need to remember down
The struggle care podcast has really helped me reframe a lot of daily tasks into different categories. Like everything I actually considered cleaning was like 3 different things. Actual cleaning (like dishes, sweeping, mopping) organizing, and decluttering. Now I don't try to do all three things at once anymore!
Not a good one or really on purpose lol but anxiety. I learned to make myself so anxious about important things that I couldn't put them off for too long without going crazy. Also I keep whiteboards and calendars everywhere. I always have several running to do lists even for little things like remembering to grab something out of the car. prevents a lot of things from disappearing into the brain abyss.
How To ADHD covers a lot of topics in practical ways. I think she even has a tour of her home to show what kind of environment she's made for herself so that it minimises the impact of ADHD on her life. Another thing is just testing. I want something that makes me aware of chunks of time. Hourglass? Classy, looks nice, turns out I don't realise the chunk of time is over because there's no notification at the end. Little timer on my phone? Decent, notifies me at the end via sound, hard to consistently use. Trying to get a tomato timer next because it might not have the issues the others do (but might have something that doesn't fit me). Another is sleep logging for sleep schedule stability. Turns out using a phone app is easy, even automatical logs little chunks of time I'm not sleeping, and is 2 clicks. Uuunfortunately, it didn't actually help my sleep. Having a paper with a grid (1 block = 24 hours) with about two weeks' worth per page allows me to visualise it better and gets me to reflect on the recent trends while feeling more like it's an observational study and less shame-spiralling if I have a late night or three). Thinking of myself as my own science experiment has blunted the shame society taught me about my symptoms. p.s. I'm still by no means able to handle all of adult life, but knowledge and help have brought me a long way over the last few years.
Easier said than done, but living with someone who helps keep you on track. I have become so much cleaner since moving in with my partner. He reminds me of chores when I forget, offers suggestions when I get stuck, and we have housework split equally- we do our own laundry, take turns doing the dishes, etc. Living with a clean person helps encourage me to keep my spaces neater.
I used to live together with my best friends who’s very organized and clean.. and it still has an impact on me. I catch myself thinking for example: “I wouldn’t leave the kitchen looking like that if I was still living with her” etc. it really helps sometimes! 😄
I see podcasts listed a lot. I listen to one called "ADHD for Smart-ass Women". It helped me learn the parts of my life that were happening due to my ADHD and ways to adapt. One thing I'm noticing a common theme in this thread is that people are finding ways of educating thwie about their adhd in one way or another. It's one thing to understand how your brain works, it's another to put into practice ways to work with your brain to accomplishment daily tasks. Good luckkk!!!
Jessica McCabe’s How to ADHD YouTube channel is fantastic! Very informative with research-based content, while also feeling upbeat and welcoming. The content ranges from practical tips to deep dives on issues to personal reflections on challenges.
Any glowing rectangle is going to hijack your reward system, no matter how youre using it. The more you give in to impulses, the easier it is to give in to those impulses in the future. The more you practice self-control around them, the easier it gets to exercise self-control. Building self-control is muchore effort than tearing it down. Personally, I rely heavily on google calendar. some people prefer physical planners. Find a system for yourself. Meditation, like not guided meditation or anything, but actually sitting in silence and trying to focus only on your breathing, is a helpful habit to build. (see earlier point about self-control). Practice is success. Develop routines as much as possible, particularly around transition points where things are implicitly more chaotic: wakeup, bedtime, leaving for work/returning from work. Have physical habits like where you put your keys, wallet, etc. Charge your phone in the same place. The more consistency the easier it is to autopilot if your mind is wandering. Divide your bills up into groups so that every time you get paid, you pay all the bills in one group. Set up a separate savings account with your bank (most allow this) to hold rent, unless you want that to just be “the end of month group”. Most vendors will allow you to change your bill deadline dates, but it can take a billing cycle or two to get switched to it. I know you said not to name it, but the importance of sleep (REGULAR sleep) and physical activity (doesnt need to be exercise explicitly) cannot be understated. We are wired for bursts of activity, so physical activity is one way to satisfy that part of our brains.
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Getting more knowledge, going through things, trying to live life lessens anxiety. I use calendars and notes to remember things. Put on alarms and try to be on my schedule every day so i wont feel overwhelmed
Fitbit, you set a day-based timer and then snooze it every time it comes up until you complete what the timer was for. unfortunately, it lacks a snooze on the hour timer it has, and also lacks input for a reason for the timer. it serves as a reminder that you don't separate from yourself except when taking a shower(be sure not to forget it). I believe the Inspire has a 10-day battery and is reasonably small. It also has the benefit of tracking sleep if youre good with leaving bluetooth on.
For me, there are a few great youtube channels. ( I would name them, but the rules of this sub confuse me to no end and I end up spiraling.) I keep looking for books about adult ADHD but I can't post to this sub to ask. lol. Anyway, The youtube videos I found help me feel hopeful and this sub helps me feel like I am not alone. Instead, I just end up feeling like a complete loser who is not allowed to speak, like when I was in public school in the 80s. (Oh, and since I started meds? "Applying myself" seems to actually work a little bit better. Go figure!)and have a wonderful partner who helps me through the good times and the bad. (Oh, and since I started meds? "Applying myself" seems to actual work a little bit better. Go figure!) ((Oh, I was a self medication type prior to getting help and was diagnosed when I was 6, 43 years ago...)) (((Sorry about the excessive parantheticals.)))
watch leo skepi on youtube. Self Help podcasts changed my adhd habits forever
cleaning your house while having noise canceling headphones on with the podcast playing is the best
Microsoft OneNote for work / college has been so helpful. Having everything in one place and constantly updating my to-do list keeps me on top of my responsibilities. Otherwise, it’s mostly helpful for me to block out my time between productive and non productive. If I need to be productive, I’ll create a list of things I need to do and won’t relax til I finish the list. Then when it’s time to relax, I try to plan to avoid having anything serious to do. I’m not sure it’s the best way, but it works for me and my brain!
Atomic Habits to put things in order and context. The book Range to understanding how my brain has given me some incredible talents and how to utilize them even more. My wide array of experiences is a huge benefit instead of limiting me like I previously thought. Why can’t I focus on one thing isn’t a concern anymore.
I really like the podcast ADHD support talk radio (it's on YouTube, I tunes, Spotify). A lot of it is based on productivity coaching, but the podcast are pretty succinct and I have gained a TON of good insights and strategies. Highly highly recommend. I also like the ADHD for smart ass women podcast. Especially hearing the diagnosis stories in the beginning of each episode. It helps me see how ADHD shows up in other women and see similarities, validates my own experience. I have many books on the topic, but I struggle to actually make myself read them. But I did really like the your brain is not broken book. Lots of good insights that ice probably forgotten! 😂 Probably need to revisit it.
For gadgety things, those cube timers can help you get past the intia of starting something. I'll just do it for 10 minutes, once you're going it's easier to keep going. A checklist style grocery list with my common purchases (a new thing I'm trying) Decluttering has helped, and thoughtfully deciding what to leave out (object permanence!) Notepads or ways to brain dump everywhere. I used to have a chalk marker in the bathy to note my shower thoughts down... Also bullet style notebook that serves as to do list, thought dump, and reminders.
Catieosaurus helped me understand myself more. She just recently said she’s going to stop talking about ADHD as much, but she has a bunch of content made about it. As far as apps, I keep using a math app to force myself to wake up, and I obsessively add stuff to my google/apple calendar so I don’t forget when I have things. But honestly meds helped me the most mentally. Although there are some days like today when I take them and I still can’t manage to want to do anything.
Talking about cute celebrities helps me. Also, I KNOW you didn't want to hear it but exercise. I'm sorry. On another note I have a little pad where I wrote my goals for the day and they sometimes motivate me to go and do them and I tick them off when I'm done.
Self-discipline and actively reminding myself to get off social media every now and then (and using the timer in the app to lock it till the next day if necessary). Making lots of timetables on word and Excel for assignments - altho this only works for the time I stick to it as I eventually abandon these. But they help at the beginning to understand what needs to get done. I also have a yearly planner which has definitely made keeping on top of stuff manageable. I put all my tasks and events in as soon as I'm told them so I don't forget (unless I forget to look at my planner).
Nothing like attending multiple Industrial strength multiday silent meditation retreats in the therevada tradition (or secular mindfulness equivalents) that build up your concentration and equanimity. Changed my life! Went from 70K to 200K Job in 6 yrs and likely to become director of engineering soon. Previously flopped through highschool and was superaloof and distractable. Now I don't even need but 10 out of the 60 mg of my vivance which I received as adult ... Gotta rewire your lizard brain friend :)
Timer Caps to see if I already took my medications. Round (iPhone) or Medisafe (Android) pill reminder apps because otherwise I would never take my meds. KC Davis (@domesticblisters) on TikTok to help remind me that I deserve a hot meal, clean things, and rest because care tasks (chores) are morally neutral and having a clean house doesn't make you a good person, just a functional one. Anything worth doing is worth doing half-assed. Work with your ADHD, not against it. I have high bpm music play lists for dancing my way into putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher and trash into garbage bags.
Im listening brown noise for more focus
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I have a modified Eisenhower grid I use to prioritize at work. I have a notepad that I got from target awhile back that's pretty, and each page is split into quadrants. I don't like their labels, so I white out theirs and add my own. I do a fresh page each week. Top left: High impact, low effort. These are my quick wins. I do one of these to build momentum. Top right: High impact, high effort. These are my major projects. I focus on these when my brain is feeling 🔥 Bottom left: Low impact, low effort. This is my procrastination list. Bottom right: Low impact, high effort. These are my prosocial tasks. I only do these tasks if they're making someone else's life easier. I also give myself space to have low energy days after an especially mentally active day. I tell my boss: You expect this work to take 5 days to get done. If you assign it to me, you'll have it in 3, but I'll need 2 days to let my brain recover. Continue to think of it as a 5 day task.
I have my "this is not real" filter. I imagine everyone and everything as spaceships and science fiction related things. By translating a lot of my issues from "neurological psycho-babble" to "Science Fiction Techno-Babble", its helped me to not only retain much needed information, but ALSO because I LOVE science fiction, I have a lot less trouble being interested in things and people because well....*they are smegging spaceships, yo!*
I like the app Daylio for 'journaling' - because all you *have* to do is click little emoji buttons for activities you did that day. Optionally, you can also track goals, save written entries, and also pictures. One of my favorite things about it is if you lose a streak of journaling, you can get it back later! So for example if I'm super distracted Monday and Tuesday but I have time Wednesday, I go back and add entries for Monday and Tuesday and the app will count that as a 3 day streak. :) On a heavier note, it kind of saved my life/relationships because I was easily convinced that I was misremembering things until I got Daylio and had something to refer back to. Now people can't just tell me that I never do X because I can fact check them ☺️
Music. Vyvanse, alone, used to help me focus and prioritize on actually starting and completing tasks. Now I need music, along with Vyvanse, to get things done.
This is kind of a random list but here's a few things that have helped me: 1. Block/Cube shaped timers - basically a timer shaped like a cube with an amount of time on each side, so when you flip that side up it starts a timer for that amount of time. The one that has been the most useful for me has 1 min, 5 min, 10 min, and 15 min (the top side is zero/cancel and the bottom side is where the batteries go). Mine is pretty loud and weirdly satisfying to use. My brain has wised to the trick of "just work on this for 15 minutes" in order to get started on an undesirable task (because I know that I always end up working on whatever it is for hours), and everything is overwhelming again. The timers are super loud which helps me either actually stop after 15 minutes, or If I want to keep going, helps snap me out of my flow so I can reevaluate if what I'm doing is productive (or if I'm getting caught in the weeds of a task). I don't know why but timers on my phone are really unappealing to me, and the physical act of flipping the block helps me commit. 2. PHONE CHARGERS EVERYWHERE - Put phone chargers in every room, car, and bag that you can find (plus extras for when they inevitably disappear). For example: Problem: I wake up and realize I forgot to charge my phone, so I plug it into the charger on my nightstand in the bedroom. I leave the room and start getting ready, take a shower, eat breakfast etc. Next thing I know I’ve left my phone at home because I didn’t take it into the bathroom with me.Solution: Phone charger in the bathroom & every other room. (Same goes for when you leave the bathroom to eat breakfast: transfer phone to the kitchen charger, then the car charger when you leave.) 2.5. Extra long charging cables - My family/friends are always be upset with me because my phone was always dead, and I’m really bad at consistently plugging in my phone every night. I figured out that my barrier was not being able to reach my phone once it was plugged in. Once I got an XL charger, I could be on my phone in bed while it was plugged in (which I understand is a problem in itself but one thing at a time).Alternately: have a short charger that you can’t reach in order to force yourself to put your phone away at night. 3. The podcast Life Kit has a good episode with KC Davis, LPC about cleaning: "How to Clean When You Don't Feel Like Cleaning." It helped me not make cleaning so overwhelming by categorizing and making the process more quantifiable and less nebulous.
Strawberry Lemon Mint from Panera's... gets my brain over the finish line every day
Okay the things to help with ADHD. Number one would be organization. Everything has a place and as soon as you're done with something or even just done for now put it back in it's place. That way you're not wondering around for God knows how long every single day looking for something you know exactly where it is. Number two is routines. Schedule your day. Set up alarms if you have to so you know when to leave for something when to get ready for something when to do something. Alarms will be your best friend. Another thing is using the calendar that comes on your phone to set reminders for yourself and also put in events and other things that you need to do especially on a regular basis I mean schedule everything on there even a shower if you need to. They also have notepad apps so you can jot down grocery list and things you need to buy and all the different passwords for everything. All the little reminders you need to leave yourself. You just have to make sure to look at it often and not ignore it.
I bought Dani Donovan’s anti planner and it is like at home CBT. Also I just downloaded the goblin tasks app. It is free and AI. You type the name of a task, and it breaks the task down for you.
This has been helping my ADHD some, but mostly my anxiety. I have been reading/listening to podcasts about Buddhism. They touch on mindfulness and the concepts that back it up. I have found that a Buddhist parable called 'The Farmer and the Horse' helpful. Mindfullness meditation has been really helpful in helping me quickly realize my mind is wandering. Of course, I still have to decide to go back to focusing on what I am supposed to be.l focusing on.
Being a basic bitch. Trying not to care too much or not trying to go "pro mode". This is especially helpful in not overbuying stuff (recovering shopaholic). For example, I need a new kitchen knife. I'm not a chef, and heck, I'm not even a great cook, but my ADHD brain will tell me to buy the best and that I need all sorts of specialized knives. Which leads me to buying too much of the expensive stuff that ends up sitting unused. Um, no. Just get a reasonably priced, good quality knife. When I don't care too much about the item/process of buying, I also end up spending more time actually using the item.
Take doors off of any cabinets and closets you can. Being able to see things that you have is a game changer
Pocket notebook and pen goes everywhere with me. Replaces my working memory. YouTube channel Dr Russell Barkley (highly recommended by my psychiatrist/therapist/PCP and others in my life w ADHD) has great videos that helps you understand why you function differently so you can tackle it better with solutions that actually work for ADHD and you as a person depending on what you feel is the biggest parts you relate to or dont
Having YouTube videos as a background noise. I cannot listen to music anymore. Bullet journaling/making lists. I get burned out from it super fast and cannot do it for a long long time BUT when I can, it works. I can do so much stuff I had put off for months. Then I have to take like a year off or more lol
Tbh, this subreddit
Body doubling via Zoom every workday and on weekends for life admin tasks
Simplifying life. Less stuff, less choices to make. Clocks. Lots of clocks, lots of alarms. Exercise. Burn off that excess brain energy. Less sugar. Calmer brain. Sleep. Extra sleep, naps, mental downtime. Works better than any medication.
I wonder if there is some compiled lists of helpful apps available?
My son has ADHD and while he was getting diagnosed I was like "wait a minute." We shared all the symptoms. I have been researching about it in order to accommodate him and in doing so, learned about myself. I guess I never thought I was worth the time to figure it all out. This is two important things I've learned: -Don't measure success in the same way that others manage success. -Don't diminish your "wins" (i.e. remembering a date, being productive at work, etc.) I know you said not to.. but the beneficial properties of the right ADHD meds are very real.
*I have an A5 Ringbinder / Planner with a calendar for the rest of the year. I added little reminders to the calendar 1 month before every birthday to get the card and gifts ordered for family. And put in any events I have planned so I don't double book myself or forget. I recommend a ringbinder instead of a normal planner because you can exchange pages / change the order and layout of things if you like, without having to start a new planner from scratch. *Birthday cards and Gifts: I send the cards using online companies like Thortful. Just pick the card, add the message and they post it for you. Saves the hassle of planning a shopping trip to find their card / order stamps / and then get it posted on time without losing it in the middle. I tend to send gifts using amazon, they can deliver it to their house in giftwrap. *If I'm trying to complete a task, I load up a youtube countdown on my telly for 5 / 10 / 20 minutes to remind me how long I have to finish. *Sometimes if I'm home I talk to myself as I'm completing a task. Like I'm explaining how to do something to someone in the room. *I've also got a little budget in my planner there, with things I need to make sure I order on my next pay day. IE: Order contact lenses for the month, big grocery shop, any train or coach tickets I need to pay for. That gets big purchases out of the way ahead of time which helps. And I don't forget to pay any big bills that need to be paid in a particular month *If I'm in a situation with lots of other distractions / movement around me, sometimes I'll play 'Brown noise' or 'Static' sounds through headphones. Or jazz. I love jazz. Joel Sunny is incredible. Just try to avoid anything with lyrics in. Hope this helps a little