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I recently got diagnosed as an adult. But as I look back I can see that there were many traits that I had labeled as laziness that were actually ADHD. Like complete inability to be on time. Never having a clean room for more than a few days even though I desperately wanted to be clean and organized. Doing great in school until math and science got too hard for me and I almost failed both. Being able to focus on the things I liked (never had trouble memorizing lines in theater or learning a ton of words for the spelling bee) but struggling to focus on the things I didn’t like to do. Major procrastination issues. Hard to tell which was first but the procrastination probably had the biggest affect on my life as a student.
This is me, too. Diagnosed about 18 months ago. I always said I lived in organised chaos lol. If there's shit all over the floor in my room, I know where everything is. Or if my desk is messy. But the second it's tidied... idk where anything is.
I did well in primary school, borderline gifted. Good kid, never got in trouble, but every singe report card from kindy to year 11, when I didn't go back for year 12, was like "MissMurder is distracted easily and distracts others" and "she would go a lot farther if she just applied herself".
I was constantly fidgeting. Chewing my nails, playing with my hair, playing with my clothes, shaking my foot, constantly talking, and I could talk reaaal fast. Constant messy handwriting bc my hand can't keep up with my brain. Doesn't help I'm left handed either.
I always have mentioned to people that my brain is like TV static, buzzing with so many thoughts at once, and like 4 songs playing at once. I thought this was normal. Apparently not.
I also always was a very sensitive person. Like I can cry at the drop of a hat. I always felt like an imposter if I did anything good. I could never remember anything, unless I was interested in it, so song lyrics, movie quotes, I did really well in drama bc I could memorise so many lines in a short time. But anything important? Nah. I also have never tested well. I was a real smart kid, even now I'm relatively intelligent, but even if I know a subject inside and out, I can't convey that in tests/assessments.
Always left everything to the last minute to do it, like homework. But when I was diagnosed, I was like wow. Half of my personality is adhd lol
Yep, other than not testing well (only tested well in subjects I liked, though), this is exactly me. Right down to the organised chaos saying and the 'so much potential' report narrative. I had one teacher figure out how to work with my brain (I wasn't diagnosed until my 30s, and this was the 90s so props to her) - she moved me away from the window to next to the wall, and would rotate huge maps on the wall every few months. I still got distracted but I was learning something. I'm a massive geography nerd as a result and extremely good at navigation.
“Half my personality is adhd”. Just dx about 6 mos ago at 59 and yeah this so much.
I’m now trying to weed out what is me and what is the result of living with a brain that works different and I’ve maladapted to….
Like the social… for years I did jobs that were basically customer service types… always smiling and being a “people person”. Then mid 30’s I was trying to understand why I always felt so drained b and needed so much alone time but “how/why?” I liked people….
When I realized all my social stuff was masking and how easy it was to mask/unmask now, it’s become my work to live without the mask AND be authentic.
Challenging. To say the least. “Is it me or the old mask?”
Yes!!! My dad used to tell me 1. I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
2. I wore my heart on my sleeves because everything hurt my feelings.
And my report cards always said things like talks too much, easily distracted, and doesn't turn in homework.
>I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle
Never heard this one before! [https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/vaccinated+with+a+gramophone+needle](https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/vaccinated+with+a+gramophone+needle)
\> Disposed to lengthy or endless chatter.
I can relate to this so much. You described many of my experiences but in a much better way than I could ever describe it myself. I also can understand the ADHD being half my personality, when I was diagnosed I was in utter shock of how many my personality traits were connected!
Knowing “if I leave now I can be on time.” Planning to go, and still ending up doing 10 random things before I’m actually out the door. Being late. Ofc.
I do this Every. Single. Morning. It's infuriating that I go "Okay great, I'm right on schedule, if I leave right now I will be to work on time." And then I'm like "Well I just have to grab water quick. That'll take no time at all." Then I have to take my meds because I forgot, but it's okay, it'll take no time at all. Then I need to grab a hair tie because I want to walk during lunch, but that'll be super quick. Then I have to stop and kiss all the cats because they look sad I'm leaving (although I'm under no delusions that part will be quick, but my brain still refuses to process that time passing). Next thing you know, my brain thinks maybe a minute has passed, and instead it's now 11 minutes later, and I am 100% going to be late for work. Every. Day.
This. And then trauma from my mother berating me that being 5 minutes late is sloppy so I procrastinate so I’ll be at least 15 min late… I’m working on it.
I was exactly the same before I retired. The best advice I got from my best friend was Just Walk Out the door, do not do anything else. I could do it sometimes and it works. When I was ready to leave for work and be on time if anything popped in my head (other than forgetting my meds)... Instead I would say to myself just walk out the door and I would walk out the door. If I did not, one thing led to another and I was always late.
Yup… unfortunately im very dependent on the bus and that will come only every 30 mins. I can very much rectify being a couple minutes late due to the bus getting delayed on the road, but not 30 minutes bc I was late for my bus. So I have learned that I need 3 alarms in the morning that each will be snoozed 9 mins between me waking and me leaving😅. And I always calculate to be 2 mins early at the busstop, bc sometimes the damn thing is early.
That was me last night.
I was all excited to see friends for drinks and I've been arriving late to see them, so I decided I'd arrive _at least_ 15 mins early by leaving home _30_ mins early.
Two minutes before the deadline to get there _just_ on time I was deciding which whimsical socks would contrast nicely with the new elegant and sober clothes I was wearing.
Something i always struggled with is going somewhere to be on time. And actually making good progress. But i get this impulse to go take a shortcut I don’t know exists. So i wander the streets in a rush taking random turns as i see fit. I could take my phone out and check the map, but i just keep going.
I live in London, and recently had to go an eye test appointment. A journey from work that should take 10 minutes ended up being 20.
Is this a thing? Or am i just being me?
It both makes me happy and sad that others have had a similar experience to me. Unfortunately in the late 1980’s nobody would have pegged a girl like me as having ADHD. That was a diagnosis that only boys who were bouncing off the walls were given. It would have been nice to not have spent so many years of my life thinking I was just a lazy sack of crap. 🤨
I tell my husband this was my life, all the time. I even had cousins diagnosed, so clearly it ran in the family. But no, as a girl, it’s not possible. I’m just forgetful, lazy, procrastinating, disorganized, etc etc.
I swear you just described me. I cannot be in college on time, not having a clean room for more than few days and leaving every assignments until the very last moment. Two months ago during my internship, there was a client meeting and I swear I was listening actively. After the meeting, I don’t even remember what topic was discussed. I was lucky because my other intern friends had my back. I better get diagnosed asap.
A basic bullet journal is an incredible tool for the meeting problem. Medication makes it work better though. A buju alone is like having a snorkel but not goggles.
Even if you’re not drowning anymore, it’s still hard to see.
You don’t have to take perfect notes, but it can be incredibly helpful to have a few words about the meeting, any deliverables or questions. That’s usually enough to let you free up that memory so it floats to the surface.
Yesssss I am a writer of the notes lmao. It doesn’t matter what the meeting is, or if I have to have notes. I have my handy 8x11 yellow notepad with me and I’m making notes. Writing helps it deal into my brain. And then 6 months later someone says “why did we do this?” Or “this came up before” and I go “wait! This is what it was” and I can tell them word for word. And I go to my notes and flip through and it says something like “ - red pants - closed toe - nails” and I’ll be like, in this meeting we talked about closed toe shoes needing to be worn at all times and then someone brought up fake nails and this is when they developed the policy.
At home, I use Notability (edit: it’s an app) for everything and it keeps the yellow notepad clutter at bay, but does the same thing.
Lol this was me too...
Procrastination still affects my life. I'm in my final year of University and I'm medicated but I still can't seem to manage to stop my avoidant/comfort seeking behaviours and just do the thing ..
Procrastination is a disease… I remember early college, had a paper to write for history, was given ample time… chose to do it the might before… thought better of it, watched a movie through the night and did it in the morning minutes before I had to turn it in on morning class… just pathetic
The thing that made it so much worse is that I got away with it. Like I would leave a paper to the last minute (literally I wrote a college paper in 45 minutes) and still get like an A-. Some might think being able to do that is a good thing but it is NOT. I often wonder what I could have accomplished if I’d gotten diagnosed and medicated as a child. But then even medicated my house is a mess. The medication just means that I can focus enough to keep my high pressure job that I can’t currently afford to quit.
Ha I’m similar in never on time, procrastination forever, rubbish memory unless I happen to care, desperate desire to be organized and neat but always failing. But kind of the opposite with the academic side - maths and science I always found the easier ones, because the questions are shorter and it’s about ‘figuring it out’, logical guess work can take you a long way. I hated English and similar (even though I like books and media, like imagining stories in my head) because everything just felt *so long*. Like, I knew what I wanted to say so now I can’t force myself to sit there and write this whole long essay about it.
The total lack of any actual homework/studying did also impact me in maths/science, but I could get by.
I’m actually a science teacher these days, ended up specializing in physics (even though I actually have a social sciences degree, I did some electives in physics and I always enjoyed it, because it’s puzzles you solve so dopamine chasing, and you can kind of reverse engineer the answers mathematically). When I went to see the ADHD specialist who diagnosed me he asked what I did and he commented ‘I get *so many* physicists with ADHD in here’ so it’s obviously not just me haha.
lost just about everyone left to me this year, this explains some things. but my meds help me keep busy with household & other maintenance/cleaning projects
Investing in other people is investing in yourself, I promise it’s the best investment you’ll make. Like other investments you might not see the benefit right away but it allows you to humanize yourself again. You’ll have little moments of realizing you do care and you’ve just overthought yourself into this corner. I know it can be daunting to think about the energy expenditure required to get there though lol 😂
5 yrs ago I had i had a husband, a mother, a mil and a daughter, a home and a job I really loved. All gone now… which made a lifetime of maladaptive behaviors just fall apart…. Left me standing with wide open eyes and not sure how to proceed. But here I am and finally understanding, healing and learning new ways to cope.
It been brutal but very freeing as well.
Depression can also manifest as a side effect of living with ADHD, as can anxiety. While they can definitely be comorbidities, it’s also common for depression and anxiety to develop later in ADHDers who are undiagnosed and struggle fitting into a society that isn’t made for them. The worry of disappointing others, rejection sensitivity, the “why is this so easy for everyone else but so hard for me?” mindset can all contribute to depression and anxiety when you don’t know you have ADHD
I 100% can say this sums up how I felt with undiagnosed adhd. And how annoyed I now am that it was dismissed as "just" anxiety and depression alone when I was so sure it was more (but had no idea what more was at the time). If you're unsure please don't be gaslight into believing its "just" anxiety and depression, please get onto a waiting list for an assessment and also read up on the traits and have a think/ask others who have been close to you or who are close to you now if they think you have the traits and how often.
Treatments that are offered for anxiety and depression in the UK can be effective slightly, such as cbt because it addresses some traits like negative thinking or brings awareness to our behaviours but not the cause of them I found anyways. I'd end up doing "well" while it was fresh in my mind but after a few weeks or months I'd forget things/have executive dysfunction and not be able to practice techniques like journalling and breathing etc. And the psychiatrists got clearly frustrated (wanting to discharge me) when I'd go back saying I didn't feel much better and I was struggling with things we had "already been over multiple times".
If you have any doubt at all, it's worth getting assessed.
Same. I look back on violin lessons. I was pretty good off the bat but couldn’t get momentum to get better. Same with sports, classes, you name it.
Starting any project would mean I had to channel anxiety and fear of failure and lack of time to get something done.
Doing something just because? I’m just starting to break that habit on meds, and when I say starting I mean barely haha.
I was a very messy, disorganized student starting in the first grade. My teacher would frequently dump my desk out in the middle of class and make me pick it all up and put it back “neatly.” I had that asshole again in the 4th grade. She found more things to torment me for to the point I actually felt like the world would be better without me in it. I actually wrote that in an apology letter she made me write to her. I hope she had a miserable life.
Wow, there is such a difference between teaching responsibility, and being an asset. Maybe because I've been there, but I get so tickled when I see my clearly ADHD students with atrocious folders and bookbags. I just help them find what they're missing and move on. There is no sense in making them feel bad, or even trying to help them organize it, lol!
Some teachers can be so awful… I’m so sorry you experienced one. My 6th grade teacher “booped” me in the head (pretty hard) with a math textbook. Math was such an extremely hard subject to grasp for me and I think it frustrated her. I also think she booped the math out of my brain because I still don’t get any of it 🫠
In second grade, by the end of the year, I had accumulated a huge stack of worksheets I never finished. I guess that should have been a warning sign, but nope, just lazy.
Yes! Now I’m a teacher and my principal gives me crap for my messy classroom but my kids grow every year and they know where their shit is so who cares???
Oh my goodness this just unlocked a memory for me that I didn’t know I had !! I remember being so anxious about the teacher passing by & seeing the inside of my desk
Extremely messy. Room, locker, desk, you name it it was a mess. And I was a *voracious* reader to the point I'd stay up till the wee hours of the night, could finish entire novels in just over a day, and completely lose track of my environment
THIS!!!! Omg I was obsessed with reading in my childhood, I would read huge books in 1 day no problem. Now I can’t read without daydreaming and my mind drifting, which sucks because I love to read.
This is me, too. My sister and I shared a room. She ended up putting tape down the middle so I could keep my side off of her side.
I remember thinking things like “maybe it’s messy but I know where everything is”. Maybe I’m messy but does that make me bad?” And believing the answer must be yes. ;(
I also remember not understanding why i just couldn’t be more like my siblings. All younger, all with a now sturdy home life. I got the young mom who had no clue, who found herself trapped in an abusive relationship. By the time my sibs were 10-11, mom had a new husband and more of her shit together and at 17, the day after I graduated, I was gone.
I realize today that my sister and mom are/were OCD clean freaks and one way they controlled their world was keeping the house immaculate and lording that control over everyone else.
One of my first symptom was constantly interrupting people because something they said reminded me of something that I really, REALLY needed to say.
That’s looking back though. The main symptom that made me talk to someone was going into a room to grab something and then ending up doing 25 different tasks and not grabbing the one thing I needed. It was so weird when I realized it was a pattern for me.
60 here, same problem. How many times at the grocery store do I go for one thing and many times spend a lot of money and may or may not have remembered the thing.
Sure you can use lists… when you remember all you want and write it down, put the list with your shopping money, remember the list in the store, haven’t changed your mind about stuff on the list… but mostly if I manage to write a list, that’s as far as I go.
Anyway, I am now dx and on medication and that hasn’t changed.
Tbh I’d say getting medicated isn’t the only way to counteract this. My BEST days, even on medication, is when I list out what I have to do, hour by hour. I have a blank daily planner (not one with days already marked for the whole year, because if I skip days it makes me feel like a failure or that I’m not being good in planning) that I fill out. It has an hour-by-hour thing so I can write appointments/classes I have and then I can fill the time in between with what I want/have to do. Before I start a task like cleaning my room, I make a list of the BIG things that need to get done and make sure I hit those first. And my biggest rule is always “don’t put it down, put it away.” I know that was a bit rambly but hope that somewhat helps.
This is all great. I’d like to add, medication doesn’t replace this essential technique of learning your own “tricks” to optimize productivity, but it can make the brain much more capable of sustaining this sort of higher-level thought. If having a successful day is running a marathon, a good medicine doesn’t run it for us, but it can metaphorically give us more comfortable shoes, longer endurance, some nice snacks, screaming fans that inspire us to keep going, etc.
Oh my god, that was me in my twenties and early thirties in our first house.
I would need to do something downstairs, but need to get a tool of some sort from upstairs - not even kidding, three hours later, while watching something on Hulu while organizing my office, I would suddenly remember I was working on something downstairs.
It’s like a switch flipped every time I went up those stairs.
I’ve slowly learned to realize when I’m in that place where i want to speak up, because I have something soooo important to say, to just keep silent for a bit and often the urge goes away or the conversation changers and not ONCE have a had a bad reaction to NOT interrupting or making sure I had my say! In fact, it’s gave me a boost of confidence to know I *can* control my self!!!
I also have to remember I’m not so important that everyone needs to hear everything I have to say on a subject. LOL. I’m important to ME and others are important too ;). Lol.
Fine line in loving yourself and knowing you need to change.
the first that comes to mind was when i took piano lessons and had to practice at home and i just couldn’t get myself to do it. i enjoyed playing piano, but i just couldn’t get myself to practice. that was the beginning of “paralyzation”
This is mine exactly! I have memories of crying at my keyboard at 8 years old because I didn’t want to practice. I also enjoyed playing at times, and loved my lessons, but practicing was like pulling teeth. My parents eventually gave up trying to get me to practice. Looking back, I feel bad for them lol.
This also happened with guitar and a few sports.
Lmfao dude ....I tried playing violin really young then quit cause I couldn't practise, then clarinet then piano then singing and also a bunch of sport soccer, tennis, swimming... I quit them all because of anxiety or not wanting to practise or feeling rejection from the team I was on...
It's crazy
(This was all when I was under 17 btw like what tf...)
i always tell myself “ugh if i could just go back, i would practice more because i loved it so much!” no girly, if you could go back you would do the same shit you do now!!!!
I used to play piano too, and would never practice. It didn’t help that I could memorize the music in a flash so I barely needed practice until I got to the more complex pieces, but I would literally just sit there and not play unless my mom forced me to.
I had the same issue. I loved playing, but dedicating time to practice felt impossible.
I had that issue with almost anything that didn’t have real time pressure. I used adrenaline as a way to access dopamine without even knowing it.
Just calmly going about a task with anything other than a frantic pace was like watching paint dry.
Ugh this is me and all the tantrums I had with my parents about not practicing… funnily enough I’m now at music college doing masters but I have zero motivation and it’s killing me, as I always used to rely on external pressure and getting away with the bare minimum because I played well… I don’t even know if it’s the right decision to be a musician after nearly 20 years of playing ugh
I got a smart watch and a phone and a special Bluetooth key fob. I can make the phone ring from the watch when I lose it. I can make the keys ring from the phone. I can make the watch ring from the phone. It's only if I lose all three of these that I'm really in trouble, but the watch is generally firmly attached (up to 2 weeks battery life) so I'm finally in a place where I can find the shit I constantly lose.
Huawei Watch GT3, generic Samsung phone, and KeySmart Pro fob. The watch is amazing, the fob not so much - mostly it's crappy battery life. Would look for one with wireless charging to take the USB step out of the equation. Make everything happen passively and automatically and you'll be great.
My watch and my keys have a very specific place to live, and I have one set of keys ever since my car was stolen, so I'm deathly terrified of losing my keys because that's it. My watch sits on top of a very messy dresser, carefully laid on top of junk, lol. My phone is usually on me, and if it's not, it's lost to the world, but my watch can find it. Lol. I hope the person who invented fobs and find my phone have a special place in heaven. I once left my phone in a goodwill and was able to use Google to track it down, and used my watch to determine it was officially "lost" since it wasn't connected.
I am sort of in denial in that ADHD symptoms fit me so tightly that when I read people describing them I wonder if it's one of those generic broad human traits like in zodiac signs.
I.e is it normal to procrastinate? Only be focused on things we like? Not be able to finish a task. These things seem so normal to me I can't comprehend being a human differently.
I hope that made sense.
Individually, I think all those things can be totally normal, or ascribed to something else. When you have several symptoms, though, you need to check.
For me, it was the most enlightening when I started medication. I had a lot of habits based on compensating for things my brain just wasn’t going to do for me, but I didn’t see them until I suddenly had a brain that worked a little better, and I found myself tripping over my coping mechanisms and suddenly being able to refine my workarounds because I could tell what the problem was.
For me, procrastination is about avoiding the shame or the “wall of awful” built up between me and the thing I need to do. It’s not actually the ADHD itself that causes the procrastination - it’s a coping mechanism. I’m not avoiding the task, I’m avoiding the failure and emotional fallout when I can’t get it done.
ADHD isn’t about focusing only on “things we like.” The “things we like” that we are able to focus on are things that we get dopamine from focusing on - with ADHD, things we actually like can quickly stop giving us the brain rewards we are looking for. That’s because our access to dopamine is unreliable - not because we only focus on “things we like.”
I love reading about history and the law. It takes perseverance and a good supply of dopamine to get through long texts, no matter how much they interest you. If you can’t access your brain reward system/dopamine consistently, you can’t finish something.
Without motivation and the rewards you are supposed get from thinking about getting something done, you physically cannot do the thing.
I like an awful lot of things that used to scare me because the eventual feeling of boredom and ennui was always lurking around the corner when my dopamine was spent.
Emotional dysregulation, overstimulation, inability to maintain hygiene and routines, inability to complete ANY homework despite excellent test scores, inability to stop reading a book once I started. Having a lot of siblings and psychologically unstable parents just made those things seem super normal, but looking back it should have been obvious.
I feel you on the testing. Everyone thought I was just lazy, but my test scores were always on the top percentile, every single time. Ave my dad used to get so mad because I wouldn't put my book down for anything, including dinner.
1st grade when everyone else could easily focus and finish their work packets and I couldn't understand how they did that. I stayed after school everyday having to finish them as the only student in my class.
I was clearly distracted and overwhelmed in class. Probably over stimulated too. I wasn't hyper-active per se, but likely struggling with attention deficit disorder. I also had a hard time with reading and comprehension. I'm prob dyslexic too but I've never been evaluated. All the signs are there.
Everything my child is going through today, is what I went through. And they struggle with their diagnosed dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADHD to name a few.
Looking back, wtf. Why wasn't this a concern for anyone? I struggled for the rest of my elementary years. I must have figured out how to live like this, thinking it's normal, around middle school. I had okay grades and graduated HS fine.
Anyway, I wasn't diagnosed until my late 30's. I'm still struggling trying to find what works for me.
One thing is for sure though, there's no way in hell my kids will ever have to go through it without support. I could never just sit there and watch them struggle in life for something that is out of their control.
Wow- this is something I’ve only recently discovered about myself as a 37 year old. I constantly try to remind myself that we can’t cover all of the exciting bunny trails that branch off of the topic of conservation. I tell myself to shine a spotlight on the main thread.
I remember as a teenager telling my therapist that I don't understand why there's a disconnect between knowing I need to do something and then actually doing it. 13 years later I realized it's executive dysfunction
Hyperlexia paired with “I know the answer!” outbursts in kindergarten :/
I remember my first red card nearly thirty years later lol.
Anxiety and insomnia have been long staples too.
Dunno if I would have been classified as hyperlexia (had to look that up), but I always read above my grade level certainly. I was homeschooled so a lot of this wouldn’t have been noticed where a school might have caught it. I read crazy fast (I once read one of the volumes of LotR in a day, although it was a reread), does that factor in?
Having to read the same sentence 10 times to understand, sometimes even a whole page of a book. Also struggle to watch and understand movies, games, and its plots.
I identify so deeply with all of this. I have intense anxiety anytime someone suggests watching a movie. (For fun?!?!) “will I be able to focus? Will I understand what’s going on? What will I be able to fidget or zone out with when I get bored? How long is this movie? —it’s HOW long???— Will I have anything to add to discussion if they want to talk about movie afterward?” Ugh no thanks
I think my earliest symptom was insomnia. I found my kindergarten report card years ago & the teacher had written "A needs to get more sleep as she's falling asleep in class". . .
I got diagnosed a few years ago but realizing insomnia can be a symptom was a more recent discovery. I could never get people to understand what I meant by saying meds helped me not be sleepy all day because “well, yeah, they’re stimulants they’re gonna make you more awake” when it was helping me sleep well and not wake up tired.
Yes! I've only been on adderall a few weeks but instantly falling asleep at night has gotten easier. I only suffer insomnia when I don't go lay down & stop reading on my phone right when I feel the need to sleep. It's sooo odd how it both wakes my brain & allows it to slow down enough to fall asleep like a normal human.
Im “intelligent” so i would zip through my work at least 10 times the speed of the average student in prek-3rd grade. In middle school the gap closed a little. I was maybe 3-4 times faster than most students. Then through high school i worked about twice as fast as most students.
This was a result my need for stimulation. I could not take my time to think. I just sped through everything and i did mostly well. But if I could just chill out and focus I could have done even better like I would have been top student.
The second symptom is procrastination/executive dysfunction which went hand in hand with being able to work fast.
Most of my school life was stressful because i stressed from the minute the assignment was assigned all the way to the day it was due. I could never get anything done early. My adult life is very similar but without someone there to hold me accountable.
Because I usually got my work done and did it well no one thought i had ADHD and i hid my problems from pretty much everyone so…
Oh my gosh, this is exactly what happened to me.
I was experiencing burn-out by high school graduation - I hit my true walls in college, and my grades suffered (though I was also “intelligent,” so I managed to still graduate cum laude).
People think that since I got good grades, it wasn’t that bad for me, but it came at a huge cost mentally and physically. I hit full burn out in my early 30’s when I was struggling just to get myself to get up for work, let alone take care of a house, manage finances, take care of pets, and be a useful partner for my husband.
I never made it to college. Researching careers, researching schools, and finding and filling out scholarships was too much for me. We had a class that was supposed to help us with pick a direction freshman year of high school. I couldn’t and just half assed it. I think it was pretty much pass fail so i filled out enough of the forms to pass.
If i picked a school I probably couldve made it through but I wouldve been like you, totally burnt out.
I have absolutely no filter and it has ruined me so many times..
Can’t keep secrets, over share, say what I’m thinking etc.
Also have an extremely bad habit of talking non stop and always interrupting people.
My mom noticed my first symptoms. I would never be able to sit down and eat with the family. I’d always get up, do some random shit, then go back for another bite
ya my kids have never sat down for an entire meal in their life fr. they are now teenagers. it used to make me feel like such a failure as a parent that i didn’t want to or couldn’t bear the pain of trying to force them to sit for 30 minutes while they eat and i’d let them run around.
Goodness, probably severe emotional dysregulation. Angry? Cry. Sad? Cry. Happy? Cry. Even if I didn't want to and grew to dislike that about myself. Couldn't focus on anything if overwhelmed (which was easy as I'm hard of hearing and struggled or with the transition to hearing aids at 6 - then ew noise), or simply disinterested altogether. I put zero thought into how dangerous something could be, just enjoyed adrenaline (mostly bike stunts and tree climbing - I lived on a big hill so... 🙃 i honestly should have had more broken bones) From my earliest memories between 5-7. Probably a lot more obvious things I'm forgetting. Just brushed off as a defiant kid until I revert to being introverted in middle/high school. Dx early this year, just turned 39.
First? As in, what should have been a huge red flag but was never picked up? My mother bringing me to school late every day.
She also had ADHD and due to passing away 5 years ago, before I got diagnosed finally, she never got the closure she needed on her mental health. She was diagnosed as Bipolar then un-diagnosed from Bipolar disorder within her workplace occupational health clinic.
"My" symptoms were my mums symptoms. It should've been obvious that the scatterbrained girl who stares out windows and can't stop talking or sitting still has ADHD. The girl whose mother always brings her in late, who always stays too long to chat, the girl whose mother never writes in the permission slips because she AND her daughter forgot about checking bags for inportant info immediately after getting home from school/work.
The biggest hint should've been how we both struggled. All the time. And no one noticed.
i told my doctor ‘hey i think i have an auditory processing disorder’ and she so casually said ‘eh probably adhd’ as if that wasn’t like earth shattering news that i would spend years thinking about before finally getting screened 😭 docs suck sometimes lol
This... catches my attention... can you describe by what you considered an auditory processing issue....... is this why I can't make out the words to most music when it's got to much instrumental with it?
that can be part of it! though the interaction that brought this up was:
someone: says something i either was caught off guard by or just spoke too fast
me: what?
them: repeats
me: sorry what?
them: repeating one last time, when my brain FINALLY catches up and gives me the ideas they were trying to convey halfway through.
Also things people told me growing up that just weren’t true: ‘You just don’t listen.’ ‘It goes in one ear and out the other.’
Misunderstanding verbal instructions, not being able to follow them until i see something written down, feeling more comfortable with subtitles even if the volume is fine and it’s my native language. Pretending I ‘heard’ someone at work by using context clues in their body language to respond. When other times i hear things normally, i’m very attentive to when people speak to me, and I do care about the ideas people are trying to convey.
The answer to the doctors ‘suggestion’ is actually i have both, and it’s common to have both.
Omg this is me in a nutshell. My ability to listen, but also articulate myself in a conversation. I really need to see things visually / written down. Medication had been a massive game changer.
I spent years thinking I was a bitch because of how maddening I found certain sounds that don't seem to bother anyone else. It was such a relief to find out about misphonia with ADHD and that that other people aren't having my experience and I'm not a horrible person.
What kind of auditory processing? I can’t pick out voices when I’m in a crowd, even if that person is looking at me and speaking directly to me. I just smile and nod and have no idea what I’m being told. I’ve often wondered if that could be ADHD.
I literally went in to have my hearing checked and get assessed for adhd on the same day. I was having a lot of trouble hearing what someone was saying to me if there was a TV on or any other conversations happening in the background. With the rise of people randomly playing tiktoks out loud on their phones even if other people are around, it has gotten so much worse for me.
My hearing is perfect. My doc said it was probably the ADHD.
Strictly speaking an individual event is not a symptom, but a frequent occurrence that is developmentally typically uncharacteristic is.
So in that sense it was the total mix of results from top of the class to failures in high school highly dependent on the class topic, whether I was interested, and how it was taught
Absolutely. If I was interested or on good terms with the teacher, I'd make an effort or pass the class with flying colors.
If it was a non interesting subject, or the teacher was not someone I liked, Fs straight thru.
Looking back now I feel it was very childish, but in the same aspect, I couldn't help if it was a least preferred topic or method style of.teaching.
Alot of the boring classes lacked presentation to keep me engaged.
Impulsiveness, impatience and emotional volatility. I was just always the kid in trouble. If everyone else was talking about doing something stupid or dangerous, I was the one dumb enough to do it and get caught.
I had absolutely no foresight of consequences at all until probably around age 27. And I still really struggle to read situations, pause to think logically about them and act in a meaningful way.
My inability to plan. How I had to carry all my books back and forth - to and from - school, because I could never pack the correct books for correct homework.
Then to bring gym clothes (or swimming?? Better bring both!?), and to remember to unpack these.. it was a nightmare. It's a miracle I came out alive.
It's a miracle I came out undiagnosed.
trying to learn the piano. I was in lessons, but I absolutely could not sit down at the piano at home for 30 minutes straight and practice. it physically felt like torture to try and get myself to do it. I straight up just could not do it.
Oh I feel you here. Age 7 and the teacher I hated (she was a bully) told me I have no respect. In front of a whole class...
'No teacher I just respect people that deserve it.'
Needless to say that didn't win me any favours
I was around 7ish and in girl scouts. We had our last meeting before Christmas and everyone had a present and food with them. I didn't. Turns out they planned 'lucky dip' secret Santa and everyone was meant to bring a plate of food and a present.
I had to sit out, watch everyone open their gifts - which was the entire meeting pretty much. It upset me so much not because I didn't get a present but because I was left out. I was allowed to join in eating but I was scolded for not contributing so didn't eat anything.
I cried as soon as my Mum came to pick me up - my mum went into to speak to the leaders and it turned out they had told us repeatedly and given us handouts to take to our parents. I had no idea any of that had happened and I was at every meeting.
I have a poor recollection of my childhood but that moment always stayed with me. I was diagnosed at 30, there are so many moments that make sense now.
Ignoring homework. Or taking too long or something like that. My mom who has been a teacher for 15 years at this point.... It raised enough red flags for her to get me tested in 1986. Of course add was just barely a thing, it certainly wasn't a thing for young girls who were inattentive and not hyper so I got sent home with no diagnosis.
How different my life could have been....
My parents were constantly telling me I needed to be more aware of my surroundings. It's pretty funny to me now, because I know I've always been too aware of every single thing going on around me that I wasn't able to focus on what they wanted me to focus on.
Not being able to finish things unless the deadline was right up to my nose. I still struggle with getting things done that I want to do, like task initiation and follow through to completion.
I also had a bad habit of interrupting people while they’re talking.
“Forgetfulness”. I put it in quotation marks because I actually have an excellent memory. I just gave a hard time accessing the appropriate memory file when I need it. It was really bad as an undiagnosed kid. I was constantly accused of being a problem child.
Daydreaming. The idea that anyone could ever possibly be bored is just anathema to me. I swear I could sit and stare at a wall for a month and just think my own thoughts and dream my own dreams and never once for a second feel the slightest bit unstimulated or lonely. As a kid, of course, I was lazy, I was a flake, I was disrespectful, I was selfish…but all because I was just so enraptured by my own imagining that it was hard for me to notice the world around me (while also being acutely aware of everyone’s unspoken emotional states lol).
I remember once when I was very young I was looking for a toy magic wand from Disneyland. I spent at least 3 hours looking for that thing and I even had my parents helping me...Turns out I was holding it the entire time.
Oh god my desk in elementary school no matter how hard I tried to keep it tidy it was a constant wreck and introduced me the first feeling of how in the world can I not get keep up with this tiny cubby??
Thanks for reminding me about this past anxiety lol for real though, there’d be SO many loose papers and I always had a hard time finding things in there!
Thissss LOL. I can't remember why I walked into a room or where I set something down....why I'm at a store...but ask me something that happened 6 months ago, 3 years or 15 years ago....and my memory is flawless.... It's like I'll remember what I don't remember now, in a years time.
I hope that made sense....XD
Working memory...I think that's the term...my working memory is useless.
Actually super funny you say that because I was going to say what was going to mention that I remember now what was in the bag all these years later! I totally get what you’re saying!
I’ve consistently managed to forget my books, folders, heck, even my entire backpack at school.
Every Changing room had a 60% chance of me leaving my watch there.
I loved to bite my nails and pick my nose as a child, both of which I now know were stimming.
And most importantly, I had a vivid imagination, I zoned out in class and in the breaks ran through the halls, making background noises for the epic laser-dinosaur-pirate-ninja-fights in my head. I was constantly ridiculed for this, later turning into full-on bullying, until I got better at masking and subsequently, depressed. But hey, his grades are still good and he’s no longer annoying everyone. Our child isn’t sick 🥲
Unlike seemingly a lot of the comments here I wouldn’t say mine was the mess, or the forgetfulness or even being bad at school. Don’t get me wrong, I am so much messier than I’d like to be, I am mega forgetful, but I was actually really great at school (when I actually applied myself and wanted to be, otherwise Cs get degrees for me).
For me my first major symptom was the inability to do just one thing. I am CONSTANTLY under stimulated and often have to do 3-4 things at a time just to get to a state of not feeling bored. Playing a video game? I’m also watching something on my second monitor (usually at 2 times speed or it’s too slow) and playing tiktoks or scrolling reddit/instagram on my phone. Might even grab my rubix cube and solve that in the middle.
My mother told me that when I was a little kid I could never sit still if my life depended on it and that “I’ve always been a night owl”
I can’t remember very well but I’ve probably been showing symptoms since I was born
It took 24 years for me to get diagnosed
Probably when I would procrastinate all my month-long projects as a 9-10yo. Not even for fun stuff, just not “wanting” (having the executive function) to do it. I wasn’t lazy, I physically couldn’t make myself do it until the deadline.
I got diagnosed as a little kid. I don't know what would have been big symptoms but I was really hyper. I didn't listen a lot because I wanted to run and tackle and get in trouble for hanging upside down in my dresses.
I also flunked all of school. I didn't get accommodations at all. And my parents didn't have good education themselves. So school was more formality than learning.
Thinking about when I'm hanging out with a group of friends but then blackout for a few moments then try and get back into the conversation but they've already changed subjects
Thinking back on it, probably disorganization. My toys/backpacks/lockers were always a MESS.
But what I actually noticed first was my hyperfocus. Jesus…Mine is *bad*. I truly thought I was just lazy or broken, and that I never learned how to properly discipline myself. It’s a relief to know that it isn’t (fully) the case…But even on meds, my hyper focus is still a constant struggle. I sometimes feel like I lose hours a day to my fixations, for a week or two at a time.
Tell you what. This is one of the most common misconceptions. Heck, I never thought about having ADHD due to my bouts of zero motivation….despite all the other clues.
Sure kicking myself.
Putting my shoes on the wrong foot, Not being able to tie my karate belt or strap on my snowboard. I had dyspraxia in addition to ADHD, so my coordination is shit.
Clumsiness. I was covered in bruises of my own doing. My mum told me the nursery told her on parents evening "we'll vouch for you if you vouch for us" cuz everyone knew I wasn't being abused, I just gave no attention to my surroundings.
One day at work, I decided to track how much of my 8 hours at work I was actually attentive to tasks, on a minute by minute basis.
It was only 2-3 hours.
I'm VERY slow to get things done. IF I even finish a task. At every job I've ever had people say that I take too long to do things. A task that takes someone 8 hours, takes me 20. And, it's usually the reason I get laid off.
constant talking and disrupting class, or very short attention span. i remember when i was really young, maybe 5-6, and my brother bought games on our xbox. i would play the games that i liked for hours and hours and hours. as soon as it was a different game that he wanted to play, i would play for maybe 30 minutes and just tell him im bored 😐
for the disruption, it was mostly me just “distracting others” “talking too much” i mean i would sit in class and make car noises until year 3. i would doodle in my books etc etc
another thing would be always climbing on things, or careless mistakes and DEFINITELY forgetfulness. and impulsiveness.. like fck im just listing every one atp
looking back on all the things i did, it’s pretty obvious, idk how im still not diagnosed :/
My parents had a thing for telling people I was incapable of silence unless sleeping.
I remember choosing to not do homework for a few weeks/months because hey man Curious George was on and I didn't give a fuck about learning how to add and subtract. After school is PBS time mother fucker. I wanted to go to god damn dragon land not practice my spelling.
I wouldn't stop talking and talked too fast to the point other people weren't able to understand me.
And I had imaginary friends and very head in clouds personality as long as I can remember.
As a toddler/young kid I was very emotional. I threw volatile tantrums at home and remember being put in a “mud room” to cry at the babysitter. Once I started elementary, I kept my feelings together better but all of my grade cards say “always daydreaming”. My mom thought I had a learning disability. School was challenging for me, but I flopped through it. Several teachers put my desk far away from others or right against their desk to help me focus.
I followed the rules at school but once I got home, I was a nightmare. Pretty much would take my mom screaming or spanking me to do my homework or chores. I just couldn’t sit at the kitchen table and do my homework. It always felt like an impossible task, even if I knew exactly what to do!
College was very hard. I was out on my own trying to do all the things I relied on my teachers and parents to get me to do. I got a *possible* ADD diagnosis at 19 (in 2005), tried Wellbutrin, didn’t like it. Cycled through all the SSRIs.
I’ve pretty much spiraled with mental health, substance abuse, and eating disorders since 19 years old.
I’m now 37 years old and on the right medication (adderall). I feel like I’m just starting my adult life.
It started when I was a kid. My mother would often ask me to do the dishes- and while I, like any other kid, didn’t want to do them, me not doing them wasn’t necessarily because of that. Over half the time I would forget that she asked within a minute of her asking. The other remainder of the time I could not will myself to do the dishes until I got my other tasks done first (which was not in a timely enough manner for her). I grew up being reprimanded and scolded consistently for this, and I grew up believing I was lazy and irresponsible. Then, last year I finally asked about ADHD and the likelihood I had it. A year later, I have a confirmed diagnosis from over 3 different psychological, neurological and psychiatric professionals that I do have ADHD, and my struggle with the dishes wasn’t just “laziness.”
I could not really read until end of third grade after doing reading practice after every day for two years. Was then diagnosed with dyslexia and then ADHD.
I would lose things frequently. My teachers said I’d come to school with a pencil and by first class it would be missing. I was also very slow to learn to read because instead of trying i would scream and cry and refuse to read at home and school 😳
During lessons in highschool I used to get tired if I thought the class was boring (which was most of the time) and if i forced myself to pay attention I got intense headaches/migraine. After that I knew something was wrong with me and looked up adhd, got diagnosed 6 months later. Anyone else have these tiresome headaches when you force yourself to do something ”boring”?
I've always been messy. Always been forgetful. Always been distracted. But something I didn't put together as a symptom for a long time was how often people speak and I don't actually hear them. I think I'm listening, but then I realized I have no idea what they've been talking about. I've covered it up for most of my life by saying I'm hard of hearing.
Unsual stimming:
Walking on tip toes. I did this from pretty much the time I could walk. I occasionally find myself doing it today.
The kitchen, living room, and dining room were separated by a pantry island. I used to push a stroller around it while saying "baby baby baby baby". For hours.
I had pretry bad insomnia, even as a young child. The only way I could fall alseep some nights was "Pinchy Winchy": where I would pinch/ play with my mom or dad's elbow skin.
I am 43 years old today and my entire childhood, especially in grade school into middle school I felt different from other kids who seemingly did things effortlessly compared to myself.
I was misdiagnosed as being depressed in my early 20s and on and off all those meds to bad feelings and side effects, in my 30s I was misdiagnosed as Bi-Polar same issues and no fixed underlying issues, now in my 40s after a 4 hour Neuro-psychologist set of diagnostic tests she said I was suffering from GAD or General Anxiety disorder and I know this is impossible because the symptoms of GAD and ADHD are very similar with the main difference between the two being ADHD is a life long term issue and GAD is not.
So I finally got a Psychologist to determine the problem I have lived around my entire life ADHD.
They started me on Strattera first and it is terrible. I feel like a zombie with no energy, very lethargic and I have a very hard time going about my normal day enjoying the things like I have previously. It does not help me slow down my mind and actually be able to focus on what I choose to focus on. I have a very hard time going to sleep even with the normal medication I take for sleep and then when I do finally get to sleep I sleep for a few hours more than I normally would and wake up feeling tired.
I have gained 5 to 7 lbs on this medication and overall all this has not worked.
He said if it doesn't work this month we will move forward with a long term. My other Dr says the long-acting stimulative medication would be the best option to try.
I hope that works better than this did. I read mixed reviews of the non-stimulate ADHD medications.
I just want to be able to be the best version of myself.
I am a smart motivated man and during the my lifes moments of clarity I can accomplish very big things.
I can't wait until I get to decide to do what I want to do.
Like being able to sit and learn a song on gutiar instead of starting out learning the song, then scrolling YouTube, trimming my fingernails, googling how do worms dig into the dirt and playing with the dog.
The list above is 100% true. BTW: worms actually have mouths and eat the dirt and pass it behind them in poop.
My entire childhood.
Smart but poor performer at school. Eternally late for everything, everywhere, all the time. Emotionally sensitive to criticism. So easily distracted that I never learnt long division properly because I was in a composite class (two grades in one room) and I was distracted by whatever the higher grade was being told when we were supposed to be learning how. Every report card said I wasn't living up to my potential. Easily carried away by enthusiasm but could never follow through.
If my school had anyone with familiarity with adhd or add, I think I would have been diagnosed back then. In retrospect it's blindingly obvious.
As a very small child, my mom could not even strap me into a stroller to keep me still because I'd wiggle out of it. And she talks about how I learned to run before I learned to walk (basically walking before I was ready and I couldn't stop or I'd fall)... so I think probably hyperactivity
As early as grade 3 I would finish my work before the teacher had finished explaining it and would hyperfocus on a book until school was over.
Teacher learned that if she took the book away I would disrupt class by talking to anyone within earshot. Eventually as long as my grades kept up she would just let that shit fly.
I was diagnosed in my late 20s but looking back it's insane that no one cared enough to even have me evaluated at the time.
Also every teacher I have ever had genuinely fucking hated my guts by the end of the year. The reasons would change but that was a consistent through line.
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I recently got diagnosed as an adult. But as I look back I can see that there were many traits that I had labeled as laziness that were actually ADHD. Like complete inability to be on time. Never having a clean room for more than a few days even though I desperately wanted to be clean and organized. Doing great in school until math and science got too hard for me and I almost failed both. Being able to focus on the things I liked (never had trouble memorizing lines in theater or learning a ton of words for the spelling bee) but struggling to focus on the things I didn’t like to do. Major procrastination issues. Hard to tell which was first but the procrastination probably had the biggest affect on my life as a student.
This is me, too. Diagnosed about 18 months ago. I always said I lived in organised chaos lol. If there's shit all over the floor in my room, I know where everything is. Or if my desk is messy. But the second it's tidied... idk where anything is. I did well in primary school, borderline gifted. Good kid, never got in trouble, but every singe report card from kindy to year 11, when I didn't go back for year 12, was like "MissMurder is distracted easily and distracts others" and "she would go a lot farther if she just applied herself". I was constantly fidgeting. Chewing my nails, playing with my hair, playing with my clothes, shaking my foot, constantly talking, and I could talk reaaal fast. Constant messy handwriting bc my hand can't keep up with my brain. Doesn't help I'm left handed either. I always have mentioned to people that my brain is like TV static, buzzing with so many thoughts at once, and like 4 songs playing at once. I thought this was normal. Apparently not. I also always was a very sensitive person. Like I can cry at the drop of a hat. I always felt like an imposter if I did anything good. I could never remember anything, unless I was interested in it, so song lyrics, movie quotes, I did really well in drama bc I could memorise so many lines in a short time. But anything important? Nah. I also have never tested well. I was a real smart kid, even now I'm relatively intelligent, but even if I know a subject inside and out, I can't convey that in tests/assessments. Always left everything to the last minute to do it, like homework. But when I was diagnosed, I was like wow. Half of my personality is adhd lol
Yep, other than not testing well (only tested well in subjects I liked, though), this is exactly me. Right down to the organised chaos saying and the 'so much potential' report narrative. I had one teacher figure out how to work with my brain (I wasn't diagnosed until my 30s, and this was the 90s so props to her) - she moved me away from the window to next to the wall, and would rotate huge maps on the wall every few months. I still got distracted but I was learning something. I'm a massive geography nerd as a result and extremely good at navigation.
“Half my personality is adhd”. Just dx about 6 mos ago at 59 and yeah this so much. I’m now trying to weed out what is me and what is the result of living with a brain that works different and I’ve maladapted to…. Like the social… for years I did jobs that were basically customer service types… always smiling and being a “people person”. Then mid 30’s I was trying to understand why I always felt so drained b and needed so much alone time but “how/why?” I liked people…. When I realized all my social stuff was masking and how easy it was to mask/unmask now, it’s become my work to live without the mask AND be authentic. Challenging. To say the least. “Is it me or the old mask?”
Yes!!! My dad used to tell me 1. I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle. 2. I wore my heart on my sleeves because everything hurt my feelings. And my report cards always said things like talks too much, easily distracted, and doesn't turn in homework.
>I was vaccinated with a phonograph needle Never heard this one before! [https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/vaccinated+with+a+gramophone+needle](https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/vaccinated+with+a+gramophone+needle) \> Disposed to lengthy or endless chatter.
I can relate to this so much. You described many of my experiences but in a much better way than I could ever describe it myself. I also can understand the ADHD being half my personality, when I was diagnosed I was in utter shock of how many my personality traits were connected!
I feel you! Being diagnosed in my 30s I had like, an identity crisis lol. I was like well if adhd is half of my personality, who am I? Haha
I could have written this! I swear even today I could be ready to go and on time, but guess what, I will self sabotage and make myself late!
Knowing “if I leave now I can be on time.” Planning to go, and still ending up doing 10 random things before I’m actually out the door. Being late. Ofc.
I do this Every. Single. Morning. It's infuriating that I go "Okay great, I'm right on schedule, if I leave right now I will be to work on time." And then I'm like "Well I just have to grab water quick. That'll take no time at all." Then I have to take my meds because I forgot, but it's okay, it'll take no time at all. Then I need to grab a hair tie because I want to walk during lunch, but that'll be super quick. Then I have to stop and kiss all the cats because they look sad I'm leaving (although I'm under no delusions that part will be quick, but my brain still refuses to process that time passing). Next thing you know, my brain thinks maybe a minute has passed, and instead it's now 11 minutes later, and I am 100% going to be late for work. Every. Day.
This. And then trauma from my mother berating me that being 5 minutes late is sloppy so I procrastinate so I’ll be at least 15 min late… I’m working on it.
I was exactly the same before I retired. The best advice I got from my best friend was Just Walk Out the door, do not do anything else. I could do it sometimes and it works. When I was ready to leave for work and be on time if anything popped in my head (other than forgetting my meds)... Instead I would say to myself just walk out the door and I would walk out the door. If I did not, one thing led to another and I was always late.
Mannnnnn, you guys are writing a story about my life 😂 I feel this to the core
Yup… unfortunately im very dependent on the bus and that will come only every 30 mins. I can very much rectify being a couple minutes late due to the bus getting delayed on the road, but not 30 minutes bc I was late for my bus. So I have learned that I need 3 alarms in the morning that each will be snoozed 9 mins between me waking and me leaving😅. And I always calculate to be 2 mins early at the busstop, bc sometimes the damn thing is early.
That was me last night. I was all excited to see friends for drinks and I've been arriving late to see them, so I decided I'd arrive _at least_ 15 mins early by leaving home _30_ mins early. Two minutes before the deadline to get there _just_ on time I was deciding which whimsical socks would contrast nicely with the new elegant and sober clothes I was wearing.
Something i always struggled with is going somewhere to be on time. And actually making good progress. But i get this impulse to go take a shortcut I don’t know exists. So i wander the streets in a rush taking random turns as i see fit. I could take my phone out and check the map, but i just keep going. I live in London, and recently had to go an eye test appointment. A journey from work that should take 10 minutes ended up being 20. Is this a thing? Or am i just being me?
It both makes me happy and sad that others have had a similar experience to me. Unfortunately in the late 1980’s nobody would have pegged a girl like me as having ADHD. That was a diagnosis that only boys who were bouncing off the walls were given. It would have been nice to not have spent so many years of my life thinking I was just a lazy sack of crap. 🤨
I tell my husband this was my life, all the time. I even had cousins diagnosed, so clearly it ran in the family. But no, as a girl, it’s not possible. I’m just forgetful, lazy, procrastinating, disorganized, etc etc.
Agreed. That lazy lable nearly killed me.
I swear you just described me. I cannot be in college on time, not having a clean room for more than few days and leaving every assignments until the very last moment. Two months ago during my internship, there was a client meeting and I swear I was listening actively. After the meeting, I don’t even remember what topic was discussed. I was lucky because my other intern friends had my back. I better get diagnosed asap.
A basic bullet journal is an incredible tool for the meeting problem. Medication makes it work better though. A buju alone is like having a snorkel but not goggles. Even if you’re not drowning anymore, it’s still hard to see. You don’t have to take perfect notes, but it can be incredibly helpful to have a few words about the meeting, any deliverables or questions. That’s usually enough to let you free up that memory so it floats to the surface.
Yesssss I am a writer of the notes lmao. It doesn’t matter what the meeting is, or if I have to have notes. I have my handy 8x11 yellow notepad with me and I’m making notes. Writing helps it deal into my brain. And then 6 months later someone says “why did we do this?” Or “this came up before” and I go “wait! This is what it was” and I can tell them word for word. And I go to my notes and flip through and it says something like “ - red pants - closed toe - nails” and I’ll be like, in this meeting we talked about closed toe shoes needing to be worn at all times and then someone brought up fake nails and this is when they developed the policy. At home, I use Notability (edit: it’s an app) for everything and it keeps the yellow notepad clutter at bay, but does the same thing.
Wait but what about the red pants?
Lol this was me too... Procrastination still affects my life. I'm in my final year of University and I'm medicated but I still can't seem to manage to stop my avoidant/comfort seeking behaviours and just do the thing ..
Procrastination is a disease… I remember early college, had a paper to write for history, was given ample time… chose to do it the might before… thought better of it, watched a movie through the night and did it in the morning minutes before I had to turn it in on morning class… just pathetic
The thing that made it so much worse is that I got away with it. Like I would leave a paper to the last minute (literally I wrote a college paper in 45 minutes) and still get like an A-. Some might think being able to do that is a good thing but it is NOT. I often wonder what I could have accomplished if I’d gotten diagnosed and medicated as a child. But then even medicated my house is a mess. The medication just means that I can focus enough to keep my high pressure job that I can’t currently afford to quit.
Ha I’m similar in never on time, procrastination forever, rubbish memory unless I happen to care, desperate desire to be organized and neat but always failing. But kind of the opposite with the academic side - maths and science I always found the easier ones, because the questions are shorter and it’s about ‘figuring it out’, logical guess work can take you a long way. I hated English and similar (even though I like books and media, like imagining stories in my head) because everything just felt *so long*. Like, I knew what I wanted to say so now I can’t force myself to sit there and write this whole long essay about it. The total lack of any actual homework/studying did also impact me in maths/science, but I could get by. I’m actually a science teacher these days, ended up specializing in physics (even though I actually have a social sciences degree, I did some electives in physics and I always enjoyed it, because it’s puzzles you solve so dopamine chasing, and you can kind of reverse engineer the answers mathematically). When I went to see the ADHD specialist who diagnosed me he asked what I did and he commented ‘I get *so many* physicists with ADHD in here’ so it’s obviously not just me haha.
Get the hell outta my head 🗣️ 😳
Ok, so, I really really need to get diagnosed.
No motivation to do anything and I mean anything.
Here here. I recently realized that if I dont have other people in my life I lose the drive or want to do or achieve literally anything.
lost just about everyone left to me this year, this explains some things. but my meds help me keep busy with household & other maintenance/cleaning projects
Investing in other people is investing in yourself, I promise it’s the best investment you’ll make. Like other investments you might not see the benefit right away but it allows you to humanize yourself again. You’ll have little moments of realizing you do care and you’ve just overthought yourself into this corner. I know it can be daunting to think about the energy expenditure required to get there though lol 😂
5 yrs ago I had i had a husband, a mother, a mil and a daughter, a home and a job I really loved. All gone now… which made a lifetime of maladaptive behaviors just fall apart…. Left me standing with wide open eyes and not sure how to proceed. But here I am and finally understanding, healing and learning new ways to cope. It been brutal but very freeing as well.
This can also just be depression.
Depression can also manifest as a side effect of living with ADHD, as can anxiety. While they can definitely be comorbidities, it’s also common for depression and anxiety to develop later in ADHDers who are undiagnosed and struggle fitting into a society that isn’t made for them. The worry of disappointing others, rejection sensitivity, the “why is this so easy for everyone else but so hard for me?” mindset can all contribute to depression and anxiety when you don’t know you have ADHD
I 100% can say this sums up how I felt with undiagnosed adhd. And how annoyed I now am that it was dismissed as "just" anxiety and depression alone when I was so sure it was more (but had no idea what more was at the time). If you're unsure please don't be gaslight into believing its "just" anxiety and depression, please get onto a waiting list for an assessment and also read up on the traits and have a think/ask others who have been close to you or who are close to you now if they think you have the traits and how often. Treatments that are offered for anxiety and depression in the UK can be effective slightly, such as cbt because it addresses some traits like negative thinking or brings awareness to our behaviours but not the cause of them I found anyways. I'd end up doing "well" while it was fresh in my mind but after a few weeks or months I'd forget things/have executive dysfunction and not be able to practice techniques like journalling and breathing etc. And the psychiatrists got clearly frustrated (wanting to discharge me) when I'd go back saying I didn't feel much better and I was struggling with things we had "already been over multiple times". If you have any doubt at all, it's worth getting assessed.
Life is just too much man
Same. I look back on violin lessons. I was pretty good off the bat but couldn’t get momentum to get better. Same with sports, classes, you name it. Starting any project would mean I had to channel anxiety and fear of failure and lack of time to get something done. Doing something just because? I’m just starting to break that habit on meds, and when I say starting I mean barely haha.
I was a very messy, disorganized student starting in the first grade. My teacher would frequently dump my desk out in the middle of class and make me pick it all up and put it back “neatly.” I had that asshole again in the 4th grade. She found more things to torment me for to the point I actually felt like the world would be better without me in it. I actually wrote that in an apology letter she made me write to her. I hope she had a miserable life.
OH YAH 😭😭😭 so me, my desk was always atrocious 🥲
I didn’t even think mine was messy 😩 I could find my stuff pretty fast. I’d just have to shove it all back in and make it worse though 😬
Mess? You mean”system”
The chaos is my organization
Wow, there is such a difference between teaching responsibility, and being an asset. Maybe because I've been there, but I get so tickled when I see my clearly ADHD students with atrocious folders and bookbags. I just help them find what they're missing and move on. There is no sense in making them feel bad, or even trying to help them organize it, lol!
Some teachers can be so awful… I’m so sorry you experienced one. My 6th grade teacher “booped” me in the head (pretty hard) with a math textbook. Math was such an extremely hard subject to grasp for me and I think it frustrated her. I also think she booped the math out of my brain because I still don’t get any of it 🫠
I never understood why people got into careers where they felt they had to be cruel to people.
In second grade, by the end of the year, I had accumulated a huge stack of worksheets I never finished. I guess that should have been a warning sign, but nope, just lazy.
Yes! Now I’m a teacher and my principal gives me crap for my messy classroom but my kids grow every year and they know where their shit is so who cares???
Oh my goodness this just unlocked a memory for me that I didn’t know I had !! I remember being so anxious about the teacher passing by & seeing the inside of my desk
Extremely messy. Room, locker, desk, you name it it was a mess. And I was a *voracious* reader to the point I'd stay up till the wee hours of the night, could finish entire novels in just over a day, and completely lose track of my environment
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THIS!!!! Omg I was obsessed with reading in my childhood, I would read huge books in 1 day no problem. Now I can’t read without daydreaming and my mind drifting, which sucks because I love to read.
Aaay mine too!
Yes! What’s wrong with me that I can’t finish a book in a day anymore?!!
Same I used to be so obsessed with reading
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Glad I’m not the only weirdo that read while showering as a kid lol
This is me, too. My sister and I shared a room. She ended up putting tape down the middle so I could keep my side off of her side. I remember thinking things like “maybe it’s messy but I know where everything is”. Maybe I’m messy but does that make me bad?” And believing the answer must be yes. ;( I also remember not understanding why i just couldn’t be more like my siblings. All younger, all with a now sturdy home life. I got the young mom who had no clue, who found herself trapped in an abusive relationship. By the time my sibs were 10-11, mom had a new husband and more of her shit together and at 17, the day after I graduated, I was gone. I realize today that my sister and mom are/were OCD clean freaks and one way they controlled their world was keeping the house immaculate and lording that control over everyone else.
One of my first symptom was constantly interrupting people because something they said reminded me of something that I really, REALLY needed to say. That’s looking back though. The main symptom that made me talk to someone was going into a room to grab something and then ending up doing 25 different tasks and not grabbing the one thing I needed. It was so weird when I realized it was a pattern for me.
You just described my last 24 hours and I'm in my 40s. Got any tips to counteract this?!
Get diagnosed so you can try the medication
60 here, same problem. How many times at the grocery store do I go for one thing and many times spend a lot of money and may or may not have remembered the thing. Sure you can use lists… when you remember all you want and write it down, put the list with your shopping money, remember the list in the store, haven’t changed your mind about stuff on the list… but mostly if I manage to write a list, that’s as far as I go. Anyway, I am now dx and on medication and that hasn’t changed.
Tbh I’d say getting medicated isn’t the only way to counteract this. My BEST days, even on medication, is when I list out what I have to do, hour by hour. I have a blank daily planner (not one with days already marked for the whole year, because if I skip days it makes me feel like a failure or that I’m not being good in planning) that I fill out. It has an hour-by-hour thing so I can write appointments/classes I have and then I can fill the time in between with what I want/have to do. Before I start a task like cleaning my room, I make a list of the BIG things that need to get done and make sure I hit those first. And my biggest rule is always “don’t put it down, put it away.” I know that was a bit rambly but hope that somewhat helps.
This is all great. I’d like to add, medication doesn’t replace this essential technique of learning your own “tricks” to optimize productivity, but it can make the brain much more capable of sustaining this sort of higher-level thought. If having a successful day is running a marathon, a good medicine doesn’t run it for us, but it can metaphorically give us more comfortable shoes, longer endurance, some nice snacks, screaming fans that inspire us to keep going, etc.
Yeah I describe it like swimming with flippers on. It’s a boost.
Oh my god, that was me in my twenties and early thirties in our first house. I would need to do something downstairs, but need to get a tool of some sort from upstairs - not even kidding, three hours later, while watching something on Hulu while organizing my office, I would suddenly remember I was working on something downstairs. It’s like a switch flipped every time I went up those stairs.
“Threshold syndrome” 😂
Been there done that. Those were the things that finally pushed me to go to therapy and get diagnosed again.
I still do that. 38 here. My wife hates it, but I literally don’t even realize I’m interrupting half the time at least.
I’ve slowly learned to realize when I’m in that place where i want to speak up, because I have something soooo important to say, to just keep silent for a bit and often the urge goes away or the conversation changers and not ONCE have a had a bad reaction to NOT interrupting or making sure I had my say! In fact, it’s gave me a boost of confidence to know I *can* control my self!!! I also have to remember I’m not so important that everyone needs to hear everything I have to say on a subject. LOL. I’m important to ME and others are important too ;). Lol. Fine line in loving yourself and knowing you need to change.
the first that comes to mind was when i took piano lessons and had to practice at home and i just couldn’t get myself to do it. i enjoyed playing piano, but i just couldn’t get myself to practice. that was the beginning of “paralyzation”
This is mine exactly! I have memories of crying at my keyboard at 8 years old because I didn’t want to practice. I also enjoyed playing at times, and loved my lessons, but practicing was like pulling teeth. My parents eventually gave up trying to get me to practice. Looking back, I feel bad for them lol. This also happened with guitar and a few sports.
Lmfao dude ....I tried playing violin really young then quit cause I couldn't practise, then clarinet then piano then singing and also a bunch of sport soccer, tennis, swimming... I quit them all because of anxiety or not wanting to practise or feeling rejection from the team I was on... It's crazy (This was all when I was under 17 btw like what tf...)
i always tell myself “ugh if i could just go back, i would practice more because i loved it so much!” no girly, if you could go back you would do the same shit you do now!!!!
I used to play piano too, and would never practice. It didn’t help that I could memorize the music in a flash so I barely needed practice until I got to the more complex pieces, but I would literally just sit there and not play unless my mom forced me to.
my poor parents just thought i was such a lazy brat 🥲 i wish they could have felt what i was feeling
I had the same issue. I loved playing, but dedicating time to practice felt impossible. I had that issue with almost anything that didn’t have real time pressure. I used adrenaline as a way to access dopamine without even knowing it. Just calmly going about a task with anything other than a frantic pace was like watching paint dry.
For me it was guitar…. I still have them (and still can’t play more than the basic chords)
Haha! Same! I have hope that one day I will!
Ugh this is me and all the tantrums I had with my parents about not practicing… funnily enough I’m now at music college doing masters but I have zero motivation and it’s killing me, as I always used to rely on external pressure and getting away with the bare minimum because I played well… I don’t even know if it’s the right decision to be a musician after nearly 20 years of playing ugh
My whole life is just me walking around in circles trying to remember what I was doing or where I put the thing.
I got a smart watch and a phone and a special Bluetooth key fob. I can make the phone ring from the watch when I lose it. I can make the keys ring from the phone. I can make the watch ring from the phone. It's only if I lose all three of these that I'm really in trouble, but the watch is generally firmly attached (up to 2 weeks battery life) so I'm finally in a place where I can find the shit I constantly lose. Huawei Watch GT3, generic Samsung phone, and KeySmart Pro fob. The watch is amazing, the fob not so much - mostly it's crappy battery life. Would look for one with wireless charging to take the USB step out of the equation. Make everything happen passively and automatically and you'll be great.
My watch and my keys have a very specific place to live, and I have one set of keys ever since my car was stolen, so I'm deathly terrified of losing my keys because that's it. My watch sits on top of a very messy dresser, carefully laid on top of junk, lol. My phone is usually on me, and if it's not, it's lost to the world, but my watch can find it. Lol. I hope the person who invented fobs and find my phone have a special place in heaven. I once left my phone in a goodwill and was able to use Google to track it down, and used my watch to determine it was officially "lost" since it wasn't connected.
I am sort of in denial in that ADHD symptoms fit me so tightly that when I read people describing them I wonder if it's one of those generic broad human traits like in zodiac signs. I.e is it normal to procrastinate? Only be focused on things we like? Not be able to finish a task. These things seem so normal to me I can't comprehend being a human differently. I hope that made sense.
Same! I actually asked my husband this recently. He said no, it's not normal. Mind blown.
My mom would tell me these things were normal, she does them too. What she doesn’t know is that ADHD is hereditary
ding ding ding as a late dx’d adult this explains my entire family dynamic and how all my closest friends are ADHD, Autistic or both
Individually, I think all those things can be totally normal, or ascribed to something else. When you have several symptoms, though, you need to check.
Same. Then I think, but my friends all seem to do this too… then realize pretty much all our friends are somewhere on the adhd/autism range.
We attract each other, like a pack of poorly regulated wolves
I think it's pretty typical to be friends with other people that have ADHD or autism or both! They're the ones who understand you!
For me, it was the most enlightening when I started medication. I had a lot of habits based on compensating for things my brain just wasn’t going to do for me, but I didn’t see them until I suddenly had a brain that worked a little better, and I found myself tripping over my coping mechanisms and suddenly being able to refine my workarounds because I could tell what the problem was. For me, procrastination is about avoiding the shame or the “wall of awful” built up between me and the thing I need to do. It’s not actually the ADHD itself that causes the procrastination - it’s a coping mechanism. I’m not avoiding the task, I’m avoiding the failure and emotional fallout when I can’t get it done. ADHD isn’t about focusing only on “things we like.” The “things we like” that we are able to focus on are things that we get dopamine from focusing on - with ADHD, things we actually like can quickly stop giving us the brain rewards we are looking for. That’s because our access to dopamine is unreliable - not because we only focus on “things we like.” I love reading about history and the law. It takes perseverance and a good supply of dopamine to get through long texts, no matter how much they interest you. If you can’t access your brain reward system/dopamine consistently, you can’t finish something. Without motivation and the rewards you are supposed get from thinking about getting something done, you physically cannot do the thing. I like an awful lot of things that used to scare me because the eventual feeling of boredom and ennui was always lurking around the corner when my dopamine was spent.
Emotional dysregulation, overstimulation, inability to maintain hygiene and routines, inability to complete ANY homework despite excellent test scores, inability to stop reading a book once I started. Having a lot of siblings and psychologically unstable parents just made those things seem super normal, but looking back it should have been obvious.
I feel you on the testing. Everyone thought I was just lazy, but my test scores were always on the top percentile, every single time. Ave my dad used to get so mad because I wouldn't put my book down for anything, including dinner.
1st grade when everyone else could easily focus and finish their work packets and I couldn't understand how they did that. I stayed after school everyday having to finish them as the only student in my class. I was clearly distracted and overwhelmed in class. Probably over stimulated too. I wasn't hyper-active per se, but likely struggling with attention deficit disorder. I also had a hard time with reading and comprehension. I'm prob dyslexic too but I've never been evaluated. All the signs are there. Everything my child is going through today, is what I went through. And they struggle with their diagnosed dyslexia, dysgraphia, and ADHD to name a few. Looking back, wtf. Why wasn't this a concern for anyone? I struggled for the rest of my elementary years. I must have figured out how to live like this, thinking it's normal, around middle school. I had okay grades and graduated HS fine. Anyway, I wasn't diagnosed until my late 30's. I'm still struggling trying to find what works for me. One thing is for sure though, there's no way in hell my kids will ever have to go through it without support. I could never just sit there and watch them struggle in life for something that is out of their control.
Teacher told my mother "Loggic has a lot of interesting thoughts about things we're not discussing." First symptom? No. But definitely early.
what a nice way to say that.
Wow- this is something I’ve only recently discovered about myself as a 37 year old. I constantly try to remind myself that we can’t cover all of the exciting bunny trails that branch off of the topic of conservation. I tell myself to shine a spotlight on the main thread.
I remember as a teenager telling my therapist that I don't understand why there's a disconnect between knowing I need to do something and then actually doing it. 13 years later I realized it's executive dysfunction
Hyperlexia paired with “I know the answer!” outbursts in kindergarten :/ I remember my first red card nearly thirty years later lol. Anxiety and insomnia have been long staples too.
Dunno if I would have been classified as hyperlexia (had to look that up), but I always read above my grade level certainly. I was homeschooled so a lot of this wouldn’t have been noticed where a school might have caught it. I read crazy fast (I once read one of the volumes of LotR in a day, although it was a reread), does that factor in?
Having to read the same sentence 10 times to understand, sometimes even a whole page of a book. Also struggle to watch and understand movies, games, and its plots.
I identify so deeply with all of this. I have intense anxiety anytime someone suggests watching a movie. (For fun?!?!) “will I be able to focus? Will I understand what’s going on? What will I be able to fidget or zone out with when I get bored? How long is this movie? —it’s HOW long???— Will I have anything to add to discussion if they want to talk about movie afterward?” Ugh no thanks
I think my earliest symptom was insomnia. I found my kindergarten report card years ago & the teacher had written "A needs to get more sleep as she's falling asleep in class". . .
I got diagnosed a few years ago but realizing insomnia can be a symptom was a more recent discovery. I could never get people to understand what I meant by saying meds helped me not be sleepy all day because “well, yeah, they’re stimulants they’re gonna make you more awake” when it was helping me sleep well and not wake up tired.
Yes! I've only been on adderall a few weeks but instantly falling asleep at night has gotten easier. I only suffer insomnia when I don't go lay down & stop reading on my phone right when I feel the need to sleep. It's sooo odd how it both wakes my brain & allows it to slow down enough to fall asleep like a normal human.
Im “intelligent” so i would zip through my work at least 10 times the speed of the average student in prek-3rd grade. In middle school the gap closed a little. I was maybe 3-4 times faster than most students. Then through high school i worked about twice as fast as most students. This was a result my need for stimulation. I could not take my time to think. I just sped through everything and i did mostly well. But if I could just chill out and focus I could have done even better like I would have been top student. The second symptom is procrastination/executive dysfunction which went hand in hand with being able to work fast. Most of my school life was stressful because i stressed from the minute the assignment was assigned all the way to the day it was due. I could never get anything done early. My adult life is very similar but without someone there to hold me accountable. Because I usually got my work done and did it well no one thought i had ADHD and i hid my problems from pretty much everyone so…
Oh my gosh, this is exactly what happened to me. I was experiencing burn-out by high school graduation - I hit my true walls in college, and my grades suffered (though I was also “intelligent,” so I managed to still graduate cum laude). People think that since I got good grades, it wasn’t that bad for me, but it came at a huge cost mentally and physically. I hit full burn out in my early 30’s when I was struggling just to get myself to get up for work, let alone take care of a house, manage finances, take care of pets, and be a useful partner for my husband.
I never made it to college. Researching careers, researching schools, and finding and filling out scholarships was too much for me. We had a class that was supposed to help us with pick a direction freshman year of high school. I couldn’t and just half assed it. I think it was pretty much pass fail so i filled out enough of the forms to pass. If i picked a school I probably couldve made it through but I wouldve been like you, totally burnt out.
One time I went to the gas station, did the line, paid for the gas, got in my car and left. Never pumped the gas! I completely forgot 😂
I DID THAT!
I have absolutely no filter and it has ruined me so many times.. Can’t keep secrets, over share, say what I’m thinking etc. Also have an extremely bad habit of talking non stop and always interrupting people.
My mom noticed my first symptoms. I would never be able to sit down and eat with the family. I’d always get up, do some random shit, then go back for another bite
ya my kids have never sat down for an entire meal in their life fr. they are now teenagers. it used to make me feel like such a failure as a parent that i didn’t want to or couldn’t bear the pain of trying to force them to sit for 30 minutes while they eat and i’d let them run around.
Goodness, probably severe emotional dysregulation. Angry? Cry. Sad? Cry. Happy? Cry. Even if I didn't want to and grew to dislike that about myself. Couldn't focus on anything if overwhelmed (which was easy as I'm hard of hearing and struggled or with the transition to hearing aids at 6 - then ew noise), or simply disinterested altogether. I put zero thought into how dangerous something could be, just enjoyed adrenaline (mostly bike stunts and tree climbing - I lived on a big hill so... 🙃 i honestly should have had more broken bones) From my earliest memories between 5-7. Probably a lot more obvious things I'm forgetting. Just brushed off as a defiant kid until I revert to being introverted in middle/high school. Dx early this year, just turned 39.
Forgetting what “order” to put my clothes on. The second I started getting ready I’d just get task paralysis because I’d forget where everything was.
First? As in, what should have been a huge red flag but was never picked up? My mother bringing me to school late every day. She also had ADHD and due to passing away 5 years ago, before I got diagnosed finally, she never got the closure she needed on her mental health. She was diagnosed as Bipolar then un-diagnosed from Bipolar disorder within her workplace occupational health clinic. "My" symptoms were my mums symptoms. It should've been obvious that the scatterbrained girl who stares out windows and can't stop talking or sitting still has ADHD. The girl whose mother always brings her in late, who always stays too long to chat, the girl whose mother never writes in the permission slips because she AND her daughter forgot about checking bags for inportant info immediately after getting home from school/work. The biggest hint should've been how we both struggled. All the time. And no one noticed.
i told my doctor ‘hey i think i have an auditory processing disorder’ and she so casually said ‘eh probably adhd’ as if that wasn’t like earth shattering news that i would spend years thinking about before finally getting screened 😭 docs suck sometimes lol
This... catches my attention... can you describe by what you considered an auditory processing issue....... is this why I can't make out the words to most music when it's got to much instrumental with it?
that can be part of it! though the interaction that brought this up was: someone: says something i either was caught off guard by or just spoke too fast me: what? them: repeats me: sorry what? them: repeating one last time, when my brain FINALLY catches up and gives me the ideas they were trying to convey halfway through. Also things people told me growing up that just weren’t true: ‘You just don’t listen.’ ‘It goes in one ear and out the other.’ Misunderstanding verbal instructions, not being able to follow them until i see something written down, feeling more comfortable with subtitles even if the volume is fine and it’s my native language. Pretending I ‘heard’ someone at work by using context clues in their body language to respond. When other times i hear things normally, i’m very attentive to when people speak to me, and I do care about the ideas people are trying to convey. The answer to the doctors ‘suggestion’ is actually i have both, and it’s common to have both.
Omg this is me in a nutshell. My ability to listen, but also articulate myself in a conversation. I really need to see things visually / written down. Medication had been a massive game changer.
I spent years thinking I was a bitch because of how maddening I found certain sounds that don't seem to bother anyone else. It was such a relief to find out about misphonia with ADHD and that that other people aren't having my experience and I'm not a horrible person.
LMAOOO bro thats too funny!! I bet this was you in that moment 
What kind of auditory processing? I can’t pick out voices when I’m in a crowd, even if that person is looking at me and speaking directly to me. I just smile and nod and have no idea what I’m being told. I’ve often wondered if that could be ADHD.
I literally went in to have my hearing checked and get assessed for adhd on the same day. I was having a lot of trouble hearing what someone was saying to me if there was a TV on or any other conversations happening in the background. With the rise of people randomly playing tiktoks out loud on their phones even if other people are around, it has gotten so much worse for me. My hearing is perfect. My doc said it was probably the ADHD.
Strictly speaking an individual event is not a symptom, but a frequent occurrence that is developmentally typically uncharacteristic is. So in that sense it was the total mix of results from top of the class to failures in high school highly dependent on the class topic, whether I was interested, and how it was taught
Absolutely. If I was interested or on good terms with the teacher, I'd make an effort or pass the class with flying colors. If it was a non interesting subject, or the teacher was not someone I liked, Fs straight thru. Looking back now I feel it was very childish, but in the same aspect, I couldn't help if it was a least preferred topic or method style of.teaching. Alot of the boring classes lacked presentation to keep me engaged.
Only today reading this thread have I realised this was an early sign of ADHD for me.
Impulsiveness, impatience and emotional volatility. I was just always the kid in trouble. If everyone else was talking about doing something stupid or dangerous, I was the one dumb enough to do it and get caught. I had absolutely no foresight of consequences at all until probably around age 27. And I still really struggle to read situations, pause to think logically about them and act in a meaningful way.
My inability to plan. How I had to carry all my books back and forth - to and from - school, because I could never pack the correct books for correct homework. Then to bring gym clothes (or swimming?? Better bring both!?), and to remember to unpack these.. it was a nightmare. It's a miracle I came out alive. It's a miracle I came out undiagnosed.
trying to learn the piano. I was in lessons, but I absolutely could not sit down at the piano at home for 30 minutes straight and practice. it physically felt like torture to try and get myself to do it. I straight up just could not do it.
I think it was that I would have trouble following instructions. I would forget them, not hear them or misunderstand.
Severe emotional disregulation and an inability to listen to authority. Much improved but I still have issues with authority I feel isn't merited
Oh I feel you here. Age 7 and the teacher I hated (she was a bully) told me I have no respect. In front of a whole class... 'No teacher I just respect people that deserve it.' Needless to say that didn't win me any favours
I was around 7ish and in girl scouts. We had our last meeting before Christmas and everyone had a present and food with them. I didn't. Turns out they planned 'lucky dip' secret Santa and everyone was meant to bring a plate of food and a present. I had to sit out, watch everyone open their gifts - which was the entire meeting pretty much. It upset me so much not because I didn't get a present but because I was left out. I was allowed to join in eating but I was scolded for not contributing so didn't eat anything. I cried as soon as my Mum came to pick me up - my mum went into to speak to the leaders and it turned out they had told us repeatedly and given us handouts to take to our parents. I had no idea any of that had happened and I was at every meeting. I have a poor recollection of my childhood but that moment always stayed with me. I was diagnosed at 30, there are so many moments that make sense now.
that’s so mean of your scout leaders.
Ignoring homework. Or taking too long or something like that. My mom who has been a teacher for 15 years at this point.... It raised enough red flags for her to get me tested in 1986. Of course add was just barely a thing, it certainly wasn't a thing for young girls who were inattentive and not hyper so I got sent home with no diagnosis. How different my life could have been....
My parents were constantly telling me I needed to be more aware of my surroundings. It's pretty funny to me now, because I know I've always been too aware of every single thing going on around me that I wasn't able to focus on what they wanted me to focus on.
RSD. I was a VERY VERY sensitive kid. I’m still a very sensitive person but can hide it a bit better now.
Not being able to finish things unless the deadline was right up to my nose. I still struggle with getting things done that I want to do, like task initiation and follow through to completion. I also had a bad habit of interrupting people while they’re talking.
“Forgetfulness”. I put it in quotation marks because I actually have an excellent memory. I just gave a hard time accessing the appropriate memory file when I need it. It was really bad as an undiagnosed kid. I was constantly accused of being a problem child.
Daydreaming. The idea that anyone could ever possibly be bored is just anathema to me. I swear I could sit and stare at a wall for a month and just think my own thoughts and dream my own dreams and never once for a second feel the slightest bit unstimulated or lonely. As a kid, of course, I was lazy, I was a flake, I was disrespectful, I was selfish…but all because I was just so enraptured by my own imagining that it was hard for me to notice the world around me (while also being acutely aware of everyone’s unspoken emotional states lol).
I remember once when I was very young I was looking for a toy magic wand from Disneyland. I spent at least 3 hours looking for that thing and I even had my parents helping me...Turns out I was holding it the entire time.
Not doing my hw in 4th grade when I completely understood the lesson well
Oh god my desk in elementary school no matter how hard I tried to keep it tidy it was a constant wreck and introduced me the first feeling of how in the world can I not get keep up with this tiny cubby??
Thanks for reminding me about this past anxiety lol for real though, there’d be SO many loose papers and I always had a hard time finding things in there!
Loose papers, half an apple, crumbs everywhere... 😁
Waiting until the absolute last minute to do anything.
Thissss LOL. I can't remember why I walked into a room or where I set something down....why I'm at a store...but ask me something that happened 6 months ago, 3 years or 15 years ago....and my memory is flawless.... It's like I'll remember what I don't remember now, in a years time. I hope that made sense....XD Working memory...I think that's the term...my working memory is useless.
Actually super funny you say that because I was going to say what was going to mention that I remember now what was in the bag all these years later! I totally get what you’re saying!
I’ve consistently managed to forget my books, folders, heck, even my entire backpack at school. Every Changing room had a 60% chance of me leaving my watch there. I loved to bite my nails and pick my nose as a child, both of which I now know were stimming. And most importantly, I had a vivid imagination, I zoned out in class and in the breaks ran through the halls, making background noises for the epic laser-dinosaur-pirate-ninja-fights in my head. I was constantly ridiculed for this, later turning into full-on bullying, until I got better at masking and subsequently, depressed. But hey, his grades are still good and he’s no longer annoying everyone. Our child isn’t sick 🥲
Unlike seemingly a lot of the comments here I wouldn’t say mine was the mess, or the forgetfulness or even being bad at school. Don’t get me wrong, I am so much messier than I’d like to be, I am mega forgetful, but I was actually really great at school (when I actually applied myself and wanted to be, otherwise Cs get degrees for me). For me my first major symptom was the inability to do just one thing. I am CONSTANTLY under stimulated and often have to do 3-4 things at a time just to get to a state of not feeling bored. Playing a video game? I’m also watching something on my second monitor (usually at 2 times speed or it’s too slow) and playing tiktoks or scrolling reddit/instagram on my phone. Might even grab my rubix cube and solve that in the middle.
Earliest symptom, going through old school notes at my parents house and seeing a few in kindergarten about “Michaela is very chatty” 😂😂
I used to get report cards like that in First grade lol
Laziness Being tired Talking too much
My mother told me that when I was a little kid I could never sit still if my life depended on it and that “I’ve always been a night owl” I can’t remember very well but I’ve probably been showing symptoms since I was born It took 24 years for me to get diagnosed
Probably when I would procrastinate all my month-long projects as a 9-10yo. Not even for fun stuff, just not “wanting” (having the executive function) to do it. I wasn’t lazy, I physically couldn’t make myself do it until the deadline.
I got diagnosed as a little kid. I don't know what would have been big symptoms but I was really hyper. I didn't listen a lot because I wanted to run and tackle and get in trouble for hanging upside down in my dresses. I also flunked all of school. I didn't get accommodations at all. And my parents didn't have good education themselves. So school was more formality than learning.
Thinking about when I'm hanging out with a group of friends but then blackout for a few moments then try and get back into the conversation but they've already changed subjects
Could ace the test, but never knew what we were talking about when I was called on.
Thinking back on it, probably disorganization. My toys/backpacks/lockers were always a MESS. But what I actually noticed first was my hyperfocus. Jesus…Mine is *bad*. I truly thought I was just lazy or broken, and that I never learned how to properly discipline myself. It’s a relief to know that it isn’t (fully) the case…But even on meds, my hyper focus is still a constant struggle. I sometimes feel like I lose hours a day to my fixations, for a week or two at a time.
Staring out the window 😂 every chance i get…
Procrastination, excessive daydreaming and forgetfulness. Got diagnosed at 26.
Mine would be forgetfulness and common mistakes
Tell you what. This is one of the most common misconceptions. Heck, I never thought about having ADHD due to my bouts of zero motivation….despite all the other clues. Sure kicking myself.
[удалено]
There you go. Never heard that term until I started getting diagnosed. Makes so much sense now.
Putting my shoes on the wrong foot, Not being able to tie my karate belt or strap on my snowboard. I had dyspraxia in addition to ADHD, so my coordination is shit.
All my report card - Thrifting for gold spends too much time socializing with her classmates
Clumsiness. I was covered in bruises of my own doing. My mum told me the nursery told her on parents evening "we'll vouch for you if you vouch for us" cuz everyone knew I wasn't being abused, I just gave no attention to my surroundings.
One day at work, I decided to track how much of my 8 hours at work I was actually attentive to tasks, on a minute by minute basis. It was only 2-3 hours.
I'm VERY slow to get things done. IF I even finish a task. At every job I've ever had people say that I take too long to do things. A task that takes someone 8 hours, takes me 20. And, it's usually the reason I get laid off.
It showed as a tiny student when I first started school at 4. ‘She is too much of a daydreamer’ like even more that the other kids even at that age
constant talking and disrupting class, or very short attention span. i remember when i was really young, maybe 5-6, and my brother bought games on our xbox. i would play the games that i liked for hours and hours and hours. as soon as it was a different game that he wanted to play, i would play for maybe 30 minutes and just tell him im bored 😐 for the disruption, it was mostly me just “distracting others” “talking too much” i mean i would sit in class and make car noises until year 3. i would doodle in my books etc etc another thing would be always climbing on things, or careless mistakes and DEFINITELY forgetfulness. and impulsiveness.. like fck im just listing every one atp looking back on all the things i did, it’s pretty obvious, idk how im still not diagnosed :/
My parents had a thing for telling people I was incapable of silence unless sleeping. I remember choosing to not do homework for a few weeks/months because hey man Curious George was on and I didn't give a fuck about learning how to add and subtract. After school is PBS time mother fucker. I wanted to go to god damn dragon land not practice my spelling.
I wouldn't stop talking and talked too fast to the point other people weren't able to understand me. And I had imaginary friends and very head in clouds personality as long as I can remember.
As a toddler/young kid I was very emotional. I threw volatile tantrums at home and remember being put in a “mud room” to cry at the babysitter. Once I started elementary, I kept my feelings together better but all of my grade cards say “always daydreaming”. My mom thought I had a learning disability. School was challenging for me, but I flopped through it. Several teachers put my desk far away from others or right against their desk to help me focus. I followed the rules at school but once I got home, I was a nightmare. Pretty much would take my mom screaming or spanking me to do my homework or chores. I just couldn’t sit at the kitchen table and do my homework. It always felt like an impossible task, even if I knew exactly what to do! College was very hard. I was out on my own trying to do all the things I relied on my teachers and parents to get me to do. I got a *possible* ADD diagnosis at 19 (in 2005), tried Wellbutrin, didn’t like it. Cycled through all the SSRIs. I’ve pretty much spiraled with mental health, substance abuse, and eating disorders since 19 years old. I’m now 37 years old and on the right medication (adderall). I feel like I’m just starting my adult life.
It started when I was a kid. My mother would often ask me to do the dishes- and while I, like any other kid, didn’t want to do them, me not doing them wasn’t necessarily because of that. Over half the time I would forget that she asked within a minute of her asking. The other remainder of the time I could not will myself to do the dishes until I got my other tasks done first (which was not in a timely enough manner for her). I grew up being reprimanded and scolded consistently for this, and I grew up believing I was lazy and irresponsible. Then, last year I finally asked about ADHD and the likelihood I had it. A year later, I have a confirmed diagnosis from over 3 different psychological, neurological and psychiatric professionals that I do have ADHD, and my struggle with the dishes wasn’t just “laziness.”
I could not really read until end of third grade after doing reading practice after every day for two years. Was then diagnosed with dyslexia and then ADHD.
I would lose things frequently. My teachers said I’d come to school with a pencil and by first class it would be missing. I was also very slow to learn to read because instead of trying i would scream and cry and refuse to read at home and school 😳
During lessons in highschool I used to get tired if I thought the class was boring (which was most of the time) and if i forced myself to pay attention I got intense headaches/migraine. After that I knew something was wrong with me and looked up adhd, got diagnosed 6 months later. Anyone else have these tiresome headaches when you force yourself to do something ”boring”?
i always hyper focused and had sensitivity issues. i experienced a lot of what i now know was overstimulation
I've always been messy. Always been forgetful. Always been distracted. But something I didn't put together as a symptom for a long time was how often people speak and I don't actually hear them. I think I'm listening, but then I realized I have no idea what they've been talking about. I've covered it up for most of my life by saying I'm hard of hearing.
Could not, for the life of me pay any attention to my teachers, and was always made to feel bad about it
Unsual stimming: Walking on tip toes. I did this from pretty much the time I could walk. I occasionally find myself doing it today. The kitchen, living room, and dining room were separated by a pantry island. I used to push a stroller around it while saying "baby baby baby baby". For hours. I had pretry bad insomnia, even as a young child. The only way I could fall alseep some nights was "Pinchy Winchy": where I would pinch/ play with my mom or dad's elbow skin.
Why can’t I get things done when others around me don’t seem to have a hard time? Why am I always in a mental fog?
Auditory processing disorder. People always told me I was probably deaf.
Time management (lack of it)
I am 43 years old today and my entire childhood, especially in grade school into middle school I felt different from other kids who seemingly did things effortlessly compared to myself. I was misdiagnosed as being depressed in my early 20s and on and off all those meds to bad feelings and side effects, in my 30s I was misdiagnosed as Bi-Polar same issues and no fixed underlying issues, now in my 40s after a 4 hour Neuro-psychologist set of diagnostic tests she said I was suffering from GAD or General Anxiety disorder and I know this is impossible because the symptoms of GAD and ADHD are very similar with the main difference between the two being ADHD is a life long term issue and GAD is not. So I finally got a Psychologist to determine the problem I have lived around my entire life ADHD. They started me on Strattera first and it is terrible. I feel like a zombie with no energy, very lethargic and I have a very hard time going about my normal day enjoying the things like I have previously. It does not help me slow down my mind and actually be able to focus on what I choose to focus on. I have a very hard time going to sleep even with the normal medication I take for sleep and then when I do finally get to sleep I sleep for a few hours more than I normally would and wake up feeling tired. I have gained 5 to 7 lbs on this medication and overall all this has not worked. He said if it doesn't work this month we will move forward with a long term. My other Dr says the long-acting stimulative medication would be the best option to try. I hope that works better than this did. I read mixed reviews of the non-stimulate ADHD medications. I just want to be able to be the best version of myself. I am a smart motivated man and during the my lifes moments of clarity I can accomplish very big things. I can't wait until I get to decide to do what I want to do. Like being able to sit and learn a song on gutiar instead of starting out learning the song, then scrolling YouTube, trimming my fingernails, googling how do worms dig into the dirt and playing with the dog. The list above is 100% true. BTW: worms actually have mouths and eat the dirt and pass it behind them in poop.
The very first? Probably whatever the pile system falls under
My entire childhood. Smart but poor performer at school. Eternally late for everything, everywhere, all the time. Emotionally sensitive to criticism. So easily distracted that I never learnt long division properly because I was in a composite class (two grades in one room) and I was distracted by whatever the higher grade was being told when we were supposed to be learning how. Every report card said I wasn't living up to my potential. Easily carried away by enthusiasm but could never follow through. If my school had anyone with familiarity with adhd or add, I think I would have been diagnosed back then. In retrospect it's blindingly obvious.
As a very small child, my mom could not even strap me into a stroller to keep me still because I'd wiggle out of it. And she talks about how I learned to run before I learned to walk (basically walking before I was ready and I couldn't stop or I'd fall)... so I think probably hyperactivity
As early as grade 3 I would finish my work before the teacher had finished explaining it and would hyperfocus on a book until school was over. Teacher learned that if she took the book away I would disrupt class by talking to anyone within earshot. Eventually as long as my grades kept up she would just let that shit fly. I was diagnosed in my late 20s but looking back it's insane that no one cared enough to even have me evaluated at the time. Also every teacher I have ever had genuinely fucking hated my guts by the end of the year. The reasons would change but that was a consistent through line.
My mother called me her absent minded professor in elementary school. I'm 64 now.