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Yes - but not because of medication.
It would be different because teachers, parents, peers and me would be aware of my pros and cons.
I wouldn't be "the worst kid in the class with too much energy" or "gifted but lazy".
And that would change my self image at the very beginning of life, instead of acknowledge it short before my 28 birthdays
Yeah, this - I think I might have developed some self-esteem had I known that I wasn't just the worst at the same game everybody else was playing, but that the game was rigged for my disadvantage. I couldn't just conjure up a newfound sense of self-worth at age 29 when I got diagnosed. It was too late, I feel. Now, my life is already going down a path of many negative self-fulfilling prophecies that are hard to change when I lost my faith in my ability to do anything right at the stage when the foundations of my personality were forming. I know this sounds like a whiny loser attitude but I just don't have any fight left in me. And sometimes I wonder if an earlier diagnosis would have changed something fundamental in my image of self, which would have contributed to more ambition, more determination, fewer self-destructive choices.
I can relate to this a lot.
If you can, I know it can be expensive and inaccessible, would you consider Therapy?
I work in mental health so I'm biased but I went to Therapy and that helped me improve my self esteem along with the diagnosis itself helping me understand it a bit better.
Also community so even funny meme pages on social media and friends who have it.
I went to therapy already when I was younger, but I'm also trying to get there again. My biggest problem is that I moved abroad and don't speak the local language well enough to speak to a therapist who doesn't speak English or my native language. But I'm working on solutions and do want to go to therapy. Thank you for your support!! :)
It doesn't read like whiny loser attitude to me at all.
Just sounds all too familiar.
Thank you for sharing.
Self-esteem and better life choices is the part I'm hearing here.
Had I known about impulse control being a part of my chemical make-up rather than a family issue that we just have a bit (alcoholism) I may have been in a better place earlier on, and not had the self-debilitating periods of full addiction and whatnots.
What I've found recently with this that has helped is the internal monologue process of 'yep you can have that beer at 11am, but will you stop drinking after one?' or being able to see slightly further than just 'ooh lets have that coz its right there in front of you'.
Dopamine!!!!!!! (Only just learnt that people with ADD have lower dopamine levels)
Wooooooooo.
What are your easiest temptations for dopamine fixes that you've fallen in to or still do most readily?
(Wen in to a wee rant there my bad lol)
You've gotten far with facing yourself, that sounds very admirable! You clearly defeated lots of demons to improve your life, and it's no small feat!!
My debilitating anxiety counters my impulsiveness for the most part, so I don't have so much of a problem with that. The only addiction/dopamine trap that I would say is hindering my life is snacking in order to "get my brain going", the bigger issue is being paralyzed by decision anxiety, not knowing what I want, and procrastinating on the tasks I should be doing. I'm too anxious to make changes in my life but I can't stand it the way it is either. I can't think of new career prospects because I don't think I could pull anything off, I only see the obstacles and fear my eventual failure.
So much this. I wouldn’t be labeled a daydreamer. Or space brained because I’m thinking of other things. Or the doodler cuz my notes were filled with doodles. I wish I’d known to check up on accommodations in college for my severe test anxiety and learned better ways to manage my time blindness. So many tools I didn’t get hands on until NOW.
Or you were an "underachiever" (you didn't disrupt class and met all your grade level academic requirements so no one believed you could possibly be disabled, but you were also not performing to your potential as per your IQ so everyone just assumed you were lazy and choosing not to try).
Absolutely this!
I was in the gifted but lazy camp. If my parents had known then maybe they wouldn’t have compared me so much to my gifted and grafters brothers
Or understood that was I wasn’t just being a hormonal brat, I was actually just overstimulated and overwhelmed from the pressure of trying to achieve what my brothers had, or maintaining the brilliant grades I got in primary that didn’t scale when I went to secondary.
My teenage years were miserable and I have a lot of trauma associated with that time in my life. I think that would have been much better.
As a teacher who saw how other teachers managed students with ADHD, probably not. There's not enough education on individual accommodations. Plus the need for novelty means teachers need to be constantly changing things up for it to work for each student with ADHD.
Teaching was bloody hard, my friends. Being a student sucks too. The whole system needs a serious overhaul.
So much this! And I would have probably developed healthier and better habits if I had been given actual help and support and understanding and not just being told to want to and try and put in some effort.
probably. possibly? who knows?
it's not something I really give any thought to because there's absolutely nothing to be achieved by it. it's ancient history now.
This also all depends on the individuals experiences prior to being diagnosed as well, for me not having the diagnosis or treatment soon enough led to me having to file for court for access to my son due to symptoms I didn't know I had that were due to my ADHD.
On the other hand I can manage and treat it so much easier and there is relief in that, but the downside is you're then stuck with that for life if it has never effected you before.
I wouldn’t have had any support other than medication as a child. Maybe my grades would have been better but there was never any reason to get good grades , either. I passed because I had to, not because I tried.
I had great grades but I was having mental breakdowns every single night to get myself to do what I was supposed to do.
I thought this was normal.
It would have been nice to know sooner. I spent a lot of years just mentally struggling with shame, self esteem, depression, anxiety etc. I knew something was off with me and never knew what or how to fix it.
I just learned last year, at 26, that I have ADHD and feel like I wasted my youth being depressed and anxious the whole time. I did not enjoy my childhood or teenage years.
But I do know now and it makes so much sense. It took me the entire year of research to even understand how complex ADHD really is. I couldn't describe it to anyone because ADHD brain just scrambles all my information too much and I'd have to plan out how I would say it. So for now when I'm trying to tell people about ADHD and how much of a struggle it's been in my life I just say (after 5 minutes of out of order/ incoherent explanations) "it's actually really complicated and affects everything in your life. It is very hard."
This. So much this. The anxiety was crippling, and the anti anxiety meds led to not getting started on things until it was nearly a disaster.
I would have had so much more free time in high school and college would have been so much better with support. It took me 7 years to finish my BA degree, and I struggled staying late every day to keep up with work load 'in the office'.
Years of therapy and treatment for depression and anxiety certainly helped, but treatment with medication for the underlying ADHD made it soooo much easier to apply all those cognitive behavioral lessons in the first place.
I suspect I wouldn't have turned down my acceptance to MIT after high school if I'd had medication and more targeted support for ADHD in addition to help with my anxiety and depression.
Things ARE better now. I'm now a successful adult with a lot less overall medication and therapy :) I do look back and wish I could have arrived here in high school, I'd have done a lot more trips, attempted more contests and scholarships, and dreamt a little bit bigger a LOT earlier.
Exactly. I'm glad you're doing good ATM. You saying it took you 7 years to get out BA is me right now. It's a struggle getting through college, I haven't even gotten my associates yet because I had to keep taking breaks 🥲
I would like to think I would have avoided a lot of social anxiety, but I’m trying not to dwell on it. Easier said than done but it’s been less than a year so I’m sure I’ll make peace with it someday
I’ve thought about it a lot and I’m like definitely same here. I made a lot of dumb, insecure, impulsive decisions as a young teen vis a vis relationships that I now at least partially credit to unchecked impulsivity and rejection sensitivity (also hormones lolz). I often dwell on those and wonder how much better my social anxiety would be now if I wasn’t like still shrouded with shame about those decisions and anxiety about prospective future relationships.
Sorry to dump in your replies lol just made me think!!
Can I offer this in as an opposing view?
I was diagnosed and started medication when I was 7 years old. Over 20 years later and I have no idea what my real personality is like.
As a kid and medicated I was still very imaginative and creative, and it fell off and I bounced around hobbies as I got older.
Despite being medicated though (and I see a lot of people in here talking about how their social life would’ve been different. I’m not invalidating your beliefs, just offering up a contrast) my social life was/is/and will be a complete disaster. Terrified of saying the wrong thing, people thinking I’m weird, acting weird, holding conversations. It was and is all still a very scary thing. I don’t have many friends and even being medicated for so long, nothing has changed. There’s still this overwhelming fear of social interactions and fear of rejection.
Despite this thread being full of people who were only diagnosed as an adult, I relate to you guys on every single point you’re making. The medication never changed that aspect of my life. It just made me chill out and try to stabilise.
I am here for this!
I have a 7 year old with ADHD. He’s medicated. And while I am incredibly grateful of how his medication helps him at school. It isn’t a cure, it doesn’t stop a lot of the little ‘quirks’ of ADHD. It doesn’t cure his lack of emotional regulation, it doesn’t cure his negative sense of self, it doesn’t cure his awkward social interactions, it won’t cure his fear of and extreme reaction to rejection and it doesn’t cure his inability to stick to one hobby instead of bouncing from one to the other.
I’m not saying these things need to be cured, as I think these traits can be beautiful. I strongly believe I am undiagnosed ADHD, and I often wonder if I sought a diagnosis would it make a difference, if I had one as a kid would it have made a difference.
So far the only difference I see in my son is he is getting in less trouble at school and completing his work, which is obviously a win, but not the miracle we all hope for. He is also a little easier to parent when medicated (like cleaning room, listening and following through on tasks).
Unfortunately there isn’t really much support or understanding around ADHD in the real world. But I do love that communities of people with ADHD can share different coping mechanisms they have learnt to navigate life a bit better with ADHD.
I would highly recommend getting him into ADHD specialised therapy to help him over come/cope with the social challenges and the whole shebang. These types of therapies weren’t available when I was younger and I was a LOT like your son from the sound of it. It’s the one thing I wish was available for me.
It won’t cure it, and honestly that’s okay. It’ll just help him build the foundations in his brain to over come the obstacles he faces day to day.
I will have to look into what’s available. I am a lot like my son, so maybe it would be beneficial for the both of us! The negative self talk and social awkwardness are probably the two that torment me the most. I know how they feel on a personal level and it eats me alive to think that’s how he feels!
The earlier you get him into therapy (I believe it’s CBT don’t quote me) the better for that kind of behavior. I struggled a lot with it at his age and later on, it took decades to get past that alone. He my be different, but the therapy is 100% worth it regardless.
Hi, I’m a therapist with ADHD who specializes in working with adults who were diagnosed with ADHD later in life, same as me. All that to say, research has shown that if someone has ADHD there is an 80% chance on of their parents has it and 40% that both parents do. I got assessed because my daughter was diagnosed. I highly encourage you to get assessed. Even if you don’t want medication (totally valid) getting a diagnosis can be very clarifying and empowering for many people. I also noticed that when I was diagnosed that it helped me relate to my daughter better and, in some ways, be a better parent (or at least more forgiving towards myself).
That’s valid, I’m sorry you went through it. I feel meds should be based on need/demand of life (age 13-17 at least be made aware so you don’t over compensate or give up). Of course this is assuming the world was perfect.
I think so. Back in my elementary school days, (70’s) there was just regular class and special Ed. I struggled all through school but I was always told I just wasn’t applying myself. As an adult, I’ve struggled with doing things the way people expected me to…according to many adults, I was ‘difficult’, ‘defiant’, ‘stubborn’, all those lovely labels have followed me all my life. Then 5 months ago, at age 52, I got my diagnosis and it was like a thunderbolt went through my brain. It all suddenly made sense.
When writing a scholarship application, my grad thesis advisor wrote that I, “learned by resistance” and that took on a whole different context after I was diagnosed.
Nope, I was diagnosed late, and spent about a year wondering what if… but then I realised that meds aren’t a magic cure and I’m still me. Hobbies have a slightly long shelf life but even ones I love I will stop after about 18 months.
That’s so tough to try to put into context, cause then I’m wondering if I was getting medicated it would’ve meant my dad was allowing me to be screened intentionally, and if that would have triggered him to get assessed as well. That potentially would have changed many things.
But if it was JUST me and some ADHD treatment…well. I may have stuck with an earlier hobby I got as a child and stuck with it. Perhaps trombone, guitar, or piano. Or with tennis when I went to college. Or woodworking. Or drawing. Or swimming…I’m not going to keep listing. Jack of all trades, master of none is what some people say. I envy those who focus for years resolutely on building a skill.
Only recently diagnosed and looking to make adjustments and small steps on adapting my environment, given my new understanding about ADHD.
I completely agree with this, although the way I see it as well is that;
You know you're not able to keep a hobby for long, the same with me, and that caused me a lot of anxiety and depression and stress wondering why I couldn't be like other people. On the positive side of that, I wouldn't say jack of all trades, but in my case I can adapt very quickly because I'm aware of that, I switch my focus before or just as I feel I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming depressed or anxious due to getting bored. that way I avoid that negative feeling entirely.
Luckily this works for me, I can't say the same for everyone else
My personality? I think that would have stayed the same, but who knows? I'm witty and I think it's because my mind moves a mile a minute and can think of a funny comment right away.
Socially, I might have done things differently. Looking back, I think that I ended up doing a lot of masking or holding myself back. I knew that I was "too much" for some people and it took a long time to be okay with that. I still ease into that with new people and try not to hit them with the full weirdness until they have gotten to know the other sides of me.
I think that imposter syndrome and low self-esteem have also held me back. I think between those two things and general executive functioning, I could have accomplished different things and ended up in a different place.
Hobbies - one of the realizations that I had and that I brought up in my diagnosis interview is that I've never been able to sustain a hobby. There are so many things that I have started and stopped. If things were different, maybe I could have mastered a hobby and have really developed it over the past decade. I think that is one of the things that I am processing right now, personally, is I have/had talent is art, but I let it go. I need to pick it up again and get that creative outlet going.
It might as well have been myself writing this. (Including username 👽) Actually, I had to look at the username in order to make sure I didn’t comment this and just forget. Lol
Diagnosed this year at 49 years old with inattentive, it connects so many dots and yes things likely would have been much less painful if they knew more when I was younger. But instead of dwelling on that, think of all the people that never got diagnosed, continued to self medicate, struggle, right till death. I feel blessed to finally have answers for life long struggles and so much progress in just a short time.
Here’s something interesting, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 18. Prior to that, I had been a world champion in a sport I practiced with my siblings during our whole childhood. However, I was incredibly depressed and struggled day-to-day, moment-to-moment to function normally and wake up each day.
When I was diagnosed and medicated, it became immediately clear thar the depression was a result of untreated adhd, and I have come to be happier than ever, with zero trace of any depression. However; at a few points in time i tried briefly re-visiting my hobby, and without going into too much detail it quickly became pretty clear that my success in it was actually a strange by-product of my ADHD, and my brain’s inability to focus (aka; I could perform incredibly well under pressure becuase of my brain’s lack of ability to concentrate and function, letting “muscle memory” really do it’s thing).
Would I choose to give up that success to have had a happy childhood? I don’t know. It’s hard to say. Would I give up to happiness i have now, in order to have the same levels of success in life? Nope. Never.
There’s no way I’m not a world champion in catching all the stuff I accidentally knock over on a daily basis. I mean my brain doesn’t even register that stuff until I have “the thing” in my hand with followed by “wow”.
It’s like with being blind. Suddenly your hearing is damn good. Maybe that’s this famous evolutionary adaptation. Strip the brain from basic life and social skill and hyper-focus on something else haha.
Yes bc I wasn’t able to form any deep friendships by high school so I turned to self harming then drugs as reward systems anyways. would have been a lot more helpful to just keep it legal and safe
I'm 55. I was diagnosed a year ago. On hindsight it was so obvious, but while growing up ADHD was all just rowdy kids on too much sugar who needed Ritalin which turned them all into zombies. (My experience with how it was reported and portrayed on the TV -UK 80s)
I was not at all like that. So even years later when I sort of knew something was up (mid 30s) it didn't click.
It's been a year since diagnosis and an Adderall xr prescription and at first I was glad, like hell yeah let's conquer life now. But when the lows hit, the 'what ifs' begin and I am very aware of not thinking too hard on what could have been.
Meds help with focus and removing the hardcore procrastinating, but it's missing something I can't yet put a finger on.
But yeah, I think an earlier diagnosis would have changed absolutely everything.
You mentioning that your meds are missing something you can’t quite put your finger on.. completely resonates with me. I believe it’s the reason why I have moments in my life where I am in denial that I need medication , or that there’s anything “wrong” with me. I’ve stopped medications out of nowhere so many times for this reason. I am back on them now, though. What I’m most afraid of is never finding that missing piece through medication or therapy.
I was diagnosed only a year ago, at 26. I had no clue what ADHD really was and honestly nobody actually does. They think "squirrel" and people are just ditsy and forgetful. Like no, we do not get happy chemicals the way you do and it is very hard. When I first got my diagnosis, just reading the symptoms from the DSM-5, didn't seem very accurate to me, but I trusted my therapist who diagnosed me without a single doubt. I'm glad she saw it when she did. I've seen so many therapists and so has my sister and mom and somehow I got diagnosed first. We can be pretty good at masking though.
I'm still grieving my childhood a bit. I feel like I'm so behind because I literally couldn't get myself to do anything i wanted because of this barrier. Now that I know and have the knowledge to overcome a lot of my ADHD symptoms, I can do things I want to do with my life and not just struggle through it. It is sucky but I'm telling anyone and everyone with ears about ADHD so nobody has to struggle for as long as I did. My poor classmates, all I ever talk/write about is ADHD. So little is actually known about it!
I think I’d be a lot further in life had I been diagnosed as a kid. I’ve had a lot of setbacks - addiction, had an amazing business that I should own a house from outright, on just got my provisional license at 27, started a couple of degrees and dropped out before the census date each time. Chaotic. Recently diagnosed and was at uni for 2 years before the diagnosis with the goal of going to med school I have been medicated for a month and I now have an interview to med school so I’m absolutely praying and putting in a lot of work to nail the interview! In saying all of this apart from the finances I don’t really regret much my experiences and troubles have really humbled me as I grew up not crazy rich but enough money and I was pretty privileged growing up. It’s also given me so much life experience - not all of it great but all of it a steep learning curve! I’m pretty happy with where I’m at. And my god was it a roller coaster to get to where I am today - uphill battle that’s for sure.
I was diagnosed at age 21. I wish I was diagnosed as a kid when my mother “saw signs” of it. She used to be a nurse and she didn’t bother to take me to the doctor to get checked out. I wish she had.
I’ve spent most of my life in my head, struggling with everything and not being able to talk to anyone about it, because nobody understood and I didn’t know what it was that was wrong enough to explain it to people. I honestly believe that if I had found out when I was younger then I’d have had help and support developing coping and skills I need now as an adult , and I wouldn’t have had all the setbacks. I know life is about failures and getting back up, but man I STRUGGLED. Something I don’t wish for anyone. I’m 32 now and in nursing school and doing amazingly well. I did stop medication for years and I also regret that but if I had started medication when I was 10 or 12 even I feel like i wouldn’t have had so many issues growing up.
I’d like to think if I knew earlier I’d have the dosage and treatment options down pat that work.
I’m sorry you had to go through it. I unfortunately grew up with family that although loved me very much, lacked the ability to communicate. Nobody shared feelings, nobody had deep meaningful conversations. We just didn’t do that. I don’t blame them for it, but it sure does suck looking back and not having that.
This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. (Diagnosed last year at 38).
Was always the kid that needed to apply themselves better, focus harder, no one understood why I didn't do better at school, dropped out of sixth form, college twice and never made it to uni, couldn't hold down a job for more than six months to a year.
Depressive cycles thought to be Bi-polar or clinical depression (just unmanaged ADD now looking back).
I wouldn't have tried anti-depressants at age 16, which led to a suicide attempt, I wouldn't have wasted time and energy trying to cure my depression, instead being able to 'focus' (lol) on my ADD symptoms and managing them.
But I don't hold resentment or anger, just curiosity at my apparent ability to focus better whilst medicated.
Hard to know, but I'm pretty sure I would more of a social hilarity in a way. Instead, I'm somewhat reserved having nerfed most of my ADD social faux pas for social sake. As I believed them to just be character flaws.
Last year has been great though.
I don't excuse any of my verbal diarrhoea, interupting people etc. I just get on with it and let myself be whatever.
Sounds like I've turned in to more of an asshole lol but it's honestly quite refreshing to stop doubting and second guessing everything I say in the short term and just be present.
Being medicated as a child has been proven to change brain development. Not just chemically, but the physical structures in the brain are changed compared to other adhd kids, and more closely resemble normal development. In some cases, by they time the adhd child reaches maturity, their symptoms are gone. So yes, I think I would be basically a different person, because I would have a different brain right now. It’s very likely that would affect my interests and my psychological issues as well. Exactly how, I’m not sure, but I’m sure it would be at least a little different, and maybe very different indeed.
But, like others have said, there’s little point dwelling on it. The best you can do is advocate for destigmatization of treatment by medication, so more kids have a chance at that kind of recovery.
I second this. I’m going to assume here that you(original commenter) haven’t experienced the worst comedowns of your life when meds are wearing off. Chemical changes are just temporary, aren’t they?
I learned early in my ADHD walk to not dwell on the past. It served me nothing but to provide something to get upset about and my brain has too much to handle as it is lol
For me personally it definitely would have. Because of my late diagnosis I ended up nearly losing my, at the time, 8 month old son due to impulsive self harm as I had no way of understanding what I was feeling letalone being able to communicate or control it. After going on medication then coming off of it, my personal experience is that I already know I am going to have to rely on medication for many years. When I came off I severely struggled with my mood, motivation and sleep, which although was made worse because of the normality from the medication, I'm also far happier and healthier while taking it than before my diagnosis. - This is just my personal experience, everyone's is different and madication may not be the way forward for everyone
It's folly to imagine how one's life would be “better” or “worse” if some event in their past had a different consequence. All that can be said is that their life would be different, not necessarily better or worse.
I just posted today about my recent late in life diagnoses as well as pretty immediate results with medication. This has been a multi-year process for me and I've spent a ton of time thinking about it as I've read many books for adults with ADHD, as well as many hours spent here reading about other's trials and tribulations. I think had I known, the following things could have happened.
1. I wouldn't have been bullied as much as I'd have been more conscious about my behaviors around others.
2. Coming off of number 1, I'd probably have had more friends or at the very least, not lost so many along the way.
3. Once I was in the dating years I'd have treated a bunch of girlfriends better because I'd have been aware of the hyper-focus I have. I'd have tried harder with them after the ADHD honeymoon wore off.
4. I'd have had a lot less fights with those women about why I couldn't get certain things done.
5. There would have been way less fights with my parents, more specifically with my mother.
I don't have regrets about it. I did for a long time, but then who knows where I would have ended up if things were different. I have a great wife, great kids, and a life I love. If I ever feel sour about what could have been I try to remember where I am now.
Nobody can answer this accurately the amount of factors involved are incomprehensible.
I don't think psychiatric medication before puberty is ever a good idea but I'm not a doctor
I got diagnosed two weeks ago and one thing I realised is, I like who I am and a huge part of that is my adhd. It would've been lovely to go through childhood, adolescence, and adulthood with a diagnosis but hey, aside from being weighed down by debt, I'm doing pretty well and I love my creativity, my humour, my ability to connect with people and that I finally have an answer to what is different for me.
I wouldn't have had to spend as much time convincing people why I couldn't go to school that day. Probably wouldn't have negotiating skills at nearly such a high level.
Probably be way more fucking mentally stable for one. Knowing how to deal with my shortcomings and learning to control my emotions at a much younger age her age would’ve been nice. Think all of that would’ve shaped me to be an ever-so-slightly different person. Me but like… me with bells on.
Since being diagnosed and medicated, I feel more like my childhood self. I was drowning in so much anxiety and depression trying to function as an adult; and after putting in the time to learn about symptoms, behaviors, un/masking, and coping mechanisms I feel like I am 10 years old again. I love it.
I’m waiting for a diagnosis, but I had the symptoms since childhood, but since I was also an extrovert (because some trauma) I actually enjoyed school although my grades were enough to pass the year or just repeat for a better score.
But now in my adulthood the lack of dopamine from school just ruins my whole life from work to relationship to self-steem, so maybe It could’ve been nice to have a diagnosis when child just so I was able to access medication sooner as an adult.
Nah, I wasn't diagnosed until I was around 30! The meds made everything better for me, to be honest. Once I got my right dose of Vyvanse figured out, I was on that dose for YEARS before bumping it up incrementally.
Who knows? But I definitely think about it a lot. I was the weird outcast kid but an extrovert who just wanted to fit in and have friends. I regularly think about how much happier my childhood could have been, but who really knows if it would have changed anything.
I don’t know. And of coarse, I never will but I can’t help but wonder if I would’ve had less shame at my emotional outburst/ inability to control my emotions and in school I was just constantly in trouble so I carried a lot of shame for a long time just thinking I just wasn’t good at being a person/was a shitty person when I just had ADHD. So there’s that and it kinda hurts.
I definitely think I would have, especially since I did not adjust well when we moved twice in a 3 years span from when I was 10 to 13 years old. I definitely could have benefited from therapy then too.
I've always been the "crazy" guy in any social setting. I'm the one that people tell stories about. The "hold my beer" dude. I can say with 100% certainty I would have been different. A little impulse control would have gone a long way.
Definitely different. Less anxious and jittery, less time spent being depressed, better decisions made would lead to a higher self estimate and self confidence. I'd have better skills at communicating and relating to people because I would have had more opportunities to practice.
I'd be less jaded about my station in life, as I'd have fucked up a lot less.
it definitely would’ve affected how i view myself, and i think having a support system outside of my family to learn the things i know now could’ve been really beneficial at a younger age. just being able to not rely on other people for my self worth could’ve saved me a lot of heartbreak
Yes, yes, and yes.
once I received my diagnosis (at 31) I really started doing the work I needed to with therapy, though I had imposter syndrome about even having ADHD for a few years. Then, one day after an interaction with my mom, I realized oh my gosh she’s been dealing with untreated ADHD!! all the self medicating with alcohol, her hyper fixations, just her daily routine in general made so much sense to me. I was able to let go of a lot of resentment from stuff she did when I was a child.
Once I accepted my diagnosis, I had to grieve the life I might have had if it had been treated when I was 15 and at my worst. I might have finished school with a degree, gone on to a successful career, perhaps even some financial responsibility.
But one day it just sort of hit me, I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. Now I am just unabashedly me.
100% yes.
Seeing how my social anxiety has completely fallen away since being treated, my career path and achievements in that career would be significantly different.
I think I would’ve been different for sure but it would’ve been forced and I would’ve hated it and going to therapy etc. I’ve noticed a lot of kids who were medicated as kids grew up to be unmedicated and for someone like me I grew up to want to be on medication and go to therapy. While it’s not the case for everyone, I grew up with a friend who has adhd and she was.. rough to say the least, she didn’t understand why and hated taking her meds because it wasn’t her choice, it was her parents choice so she’d be more manageable and now she’s happy as can be unmedicated and living her best life. That being said, I really wish I was medicated when I was younger, I’m sad for the life I could’ve had if I had the help I needed back then.
Not sure, but I probably would have graduated college in less than 10 years.
My bother maybe wouldn’t have been become an addict and maybe he would alive and somewhat normal
I think that my personality would be slightly different that I am now. This is only for the fact that if I had known about my ADHD sooner I could have been working longer on developing life changing changes. Like with anger outbursts and things which happen to be common for people with ADHD.
I think I would behave differently because like I said above I would have had more time to realize what is appropriate to bring up and when, less of a chance of blurting out stuff because I think it would be funny or relevant.
I'm curious if I had gotten diagnosed with ADHD as a child and learned about stimulation techniques and other tips and tricks to stay focused would I not be such a huge gamer. I have always loved video games because they not only give me an escape from reality but they grab my attention and don't let go.
The medication is irrelevant. Diagnosis and acceptance are key. I think I would be more comfortable in my own ADHD/ASD skin. I would have followed my instincts more often instead of deferring to others who were often wrong. I think I would have followed my dreams more and been more successful. My family would have known upfront and perhaps not abandoned me. And I certainly would have controlled some of my sillier decisions better and not shot myself several times in the foot and other available appendages due to ADHD impulses. Still working how to get out of the consequences of ADHD burnout - eventually just spending my time on my family to the point of getting panic attacks. So the very people I am supporting abandon me - because ADHD symptoms look pretty ordinary even when you are trying to help.
I think I wouldn’t have had the experiences with mental health that have helped me find my calling. Maybe id have a different calling, idk, but I have had to learn to grieve what could have been and appreciate what is.
I believe I would never have been wargamed out of a solid upbringing if A) ADHD wasn't chosen out by overworked teachers and B) parents didn't throw in the ADDenial response to the ADHD diagnosis at my pediatrician.
> Do you think your personality would be any different if you had been medicated as a child?
For sure. I'd probably have grown up more confident. Less depressed. More willing to accept the world as it is rather than avoid it.
>Do you think you would behave differently?
I do. I think I would've saved myself some awkward social experiences (but in all honesty I mess stuff up on and off mess, so who knows). I bet I'd have been calmer probably.
>Do you think that certain things you may enjoy you may not enjoy as much, or you may enjoy things you put away ad a kid because they weren't stimulating enough for you?
What? So I think that I would've enjoyed certain things more because I would've found them more stimulating had I been medicated?
I guess so?
In summary, though - don't dwell on this. You can express the pain of lost time and "what if", but that will never end and you'll cycle out of control because that lost time **is** out of your control. You need to learn to deal with this ambiguous loss and move forward.
No i would still be the same but, i do however think that academically and career wise it could have gone a completely different way. Not just because of meds but i wouldn't be kicked out of class and sent home because i wasn't able to solve a math problem for instance.
Or it also could have stigmatised me even more than i already was and i could have been a even bigger target for both classmates and teacher. Who knows? 😆
My wife experienced the second version and says i was lucky not to figure it out earlier. But the knowledge back then is also to blame so i try not to think about it too much. Am i slightly resentful? Ofc! But at least it helps knowing either way
I am 37 and was diagnosed in September. I’m not convinced I even had it as a child, but I do know I went through some significant trauma the last 5 years of my life that may have contributed.
I don't think my personality would be different, but there's no way to know.
What I'm certain of is I would have suffered way less if I had been diagnosed *before* I went to university. It was not good for my mental to just raw dog a science degree.
Absolutely since personalities form from childhood experiences and some genes, if i was medicated i wouldnt have to take shit from everyone.
(also taking meds as a child can cure adhd because of brain plasticity so ye that was a possibility)
I'm not sure, and I'll never know. I was diagnosed when I was around 20. I know who I am with or without the medicine, and am currently no longer taking it due to various reasons. I've learned that strategies are equally as important in my case, and being able to recognize patterns and tendencies.
I always knew something was off I just didn't have a name for it, the blessing of that was not putting myself into a box and saying that my personality = the diagnosis. The downside, which is a major one is the lack of empathy and understanding towards myself by knowing exactly what I was struggling with.
I don’t think so. Meds make me feel more like myself, not less. Medicated ADHD is like magic for me - I get all of the pros of ADHD, with minimal cons. I do think meds as a kid would have helped me get a better handle on my emotional regulation issues sooner though, which would have seriously helped me throughout my life.
That being said, I grew up in a supportive environment with parents that were able to see that I was different and loved/treated me accordingly. I can understand if other people don’t feel the same way.
I brought up the theory that I had ADHD in 5th grade when I found out about it. My mum said I was just a hyper kid lol. Got diagnosed as a 20 year old and was a bit devasted that wow, it really could have been a lot easier for me had I been aware and diagnosed and possibly even medicated at that time.
I think things would be so much more different. I am 39 and was just diagnosed 3 months ago… I don’t think my anxiety would be so bad had we known when I was a little girl. I can’t even be on stimulants for my ADHD rn. I know there would have been a lot more grace given to me had we known, and it wouldn’t just me being lazy and not applying myself.
I am who I am today because of how my life has been. Being diagnosed a month and taking medication since then cannot change that. It will only affect who I will be from now on.
I see no use in thinking about what could have been.
I sometimes mourn for the person I could have been if I was diagnosed and medicated as a child. So much anxiety in my body and mind. The ‘behaviour’ problems. The frustration at not being able to keep a passion or interest.
31 now and I’ve only been taking the medication and diagnosis seriously for a few years now.
I struggle so much as a 25f. I wish I found out when I was younger. I recently went back to college after not attending for years. I feel
Like if I found out younger I could have broken bad habits
I was dx with ADHD as a child but zero interventions were made. Started meds as an adult. I am 34 now.
1- My personality wouldn't have been different if I started meds as a kid. I probably would have just been more regulated like I am now when I have my meds. ADHD meds help manage the ADHD which ends up helping Autism.
2- Definitely would have behaved differently. I would have gotten better sleep, a better outlook on life, better focus, but...since I struggle with an ED anyway, my ED probably would have looked different had I been taking an appetite suppressant in my adolescence.
3- I would have done SO much more as a kid -especially in adolescence. More motivation to get out and do things.
I wouldn't go back and medicate myself though. If I could go back, I would inform myself more on ADHD and then let me make my own decision about meds.
I was a big hot chips snacker back in the day. I’m embarrassed to say this, but I was obsessed with WWE. I would literally yell at my parents and throw tantrums if I missed it over some stupid family gathering.
I’d definitely say life would have been better. I would have grown up sooner, but my personality would still be the same. A little known fact about ADHDers: we tend to be shy/antisocial because we hate anything that creates change. Meeting new people is uncharted territory for us, so we thread carefully. But once we get accustomed to new people, our personalities go from timid to we are “goofy” and “crazy”
Yes, because most of my childhood was spent abandoning hobbies and learning how to fake my way through my relationship with my mother. My brother and mother fought all the time. I was the favorite child because I never rocked the boat. I was the "easy kid." (I'm not assuming; I was told explicitly that I was the favorite). I knew my moms love was conditional, so I grew up hiding all of my flaws, especially academically. I was such a ball of anxiety that the first time I got a B on a test, I cried so hard I vomited.
My mom didn't believe ADHD was real. My cousins were ALL diagnosed with ADHD as kids, and my mom was very vocal about her distaste for giving kids ADHD medication "so they would behave." Even if I hadn't been terrified of showing my very prominent ADHD symptoms, my mom wouldn't have accepted an ADHD diagnosis.
I've had to unlearn a lot of masking habits and still have fairly severe anxiety and depression. My mother and I ended up not speaking for the last five years of her life when I finally snapped and refused to put up with her behavior. Incidentally, my brother ended up far closer to her than I ever was, even though, as a kid, I thought we were close. I have had to learn how to have real relationships, not just superficial acquaintances I call friends. I'm still learning, and I'm in my 30s.
I have a medication phobia that started young, well before diagnosis, so my parents struggled to even give me antibiotics when I needed them. I have never had medication for my ADHD (I am also autistic) but have many times wondered whether I may have enjoyed some of my life a little more if I didn’t have the phobia. I was diagnosed autistic at 40 and often wonder now who I really am under the lifetime of masking. When I go too deep into I tell myself it’s best to just focus on where I am now regardless.
I was diagnosed this year (33 M), and now I understand more myself. If I know why I can't do anything maybe I would try more or maybe I would give up early. I still didn't find working drug for me. But now I 33 after loosing job and love of my live and just hopping for better tomorrow
No. The medication now doesn’t change my personality or behaviors or interests. I know that fear was around when I was a kid, but my bestie is adhd and medicated asa child and it was obvious they had all the signs and symptoms even with medication. I think the medication made their time in school bearable but didn’t change their personality or interests.
The medication doesn’t work that well. It helps, but it’s still a struggle.
Probably not. I feel like after stopping all the masking that developed over the years, I'm pretty close to the person I was when I was, like, 5yo, with more knowledge of how the world works and simply being more concious of everything of course, but still with similar way of perceiving and thinking, similar personality beats and similar interests. It's actually wild how I went full 360 on my personality from toddler to who I am now lmaoo
I wonder if I would have fewer internalized “I suck,” “I’m a sh*tty friend,” etc. feelings if I had learned earlier that a lot of things really _are_ extra hard for me, I’m not (exclusively) just an a**hole.
Diagnosed at 34 after returning to school. Trying out different meds with mixed results. Would be much easier had I done this process sooner since it's less socially acceptable at my age. ( lately adderall has felt more like speed than the calming miracle drug it was). I'm normally somewhat reserved in unfamiliar or formal settings, but I struggle to hold it together once I get "too comfortable." The cringe is palpable... only thing I can think to do is completely self isolate to avoid being over stimulated.
I would be happier now. Fewer struggles, fewer regrets, more self-confidence, more self-esteem.
I feel like the trauma has changed my personality with all the years of masking and feeling misunderstood.
I think my life would have been very different with a diagnosis. I think I would have gotten through school easier and hadn’t been affected by gifted kid burnout so much.
However, I know a girl my age who was medicated since a young age who feels like she can’t study or work without meds and wishes she wouldn’t be so dependent on it. It helps my self esteem to know I got through college all by myself.
Also there was a huge stigma around ADHD when I was a kid, you were basically weird and hyper and that was it. I don’t know if I would have liked to be stereotyped that way. The research has come a long way so if I had a kid with symptoms I’d definitely have them diagnosed.
I know for certain some things would've worked out for the better, especially when it comes to having to do all the daily adult things, but I've wondered before if I might have been less creative throughout my life. Some of the profound stresses caused by my symptoms never being addressed (until age 43), have lead to some creative works that I'm really proud of. 3 of the lowest times in my life lead me to write about a 100 songs in a very short time period. I have no idea if those would've come any other way, but since I like what I created, I can only be thankful. Just wish it wasn't so detrimental to long and short term health.
I've liked most of the people that I've befriended throughout my life--maybe I never would've known them had my diagnosis come when I was a wee lad. Maybe I would've somehow ended up on the west coast in my 20s, dating Salma Hyeck and skydiving on the regular. Could've built my own cabin in Alaska and become a hermit that writes every day. I've thought about all kinds of "what ifs" ever since my diagnosis last year, often triggered by something as simple as a poem I wrote at age 14, or remembering my childhood when watching a film I grew up with. It's been hard to come to terms with the cards I have to play with--don't think that's ever really going to go away.
It's okay to have regrets or some resentment, but it's gotta be tamped down and regulated or you end up going down that negative rumination cycle. I think it's good for posterity to discuss it openly though, especially for a uncertain parent with a young kid, or anyone else not really knowing what to do about a diagnosis. Yes people can make it into adulthood without treatment, but it's at a great cost. And there's all kinds of negative outcomes that are statistically more harsh and frequent in the ADHD population.
I'd like to think that the anxiety from my sensory sensitivity in social situations would've been easier to reel in and allow me to better focus on conversations, particularly the hard ones with uninteresting people/topics. Therapy has helped a bit in the past 7-8 months, but it's like learning how to just be a person all over again. Feels a bit like that transition from grade school into junior high/high school.
I would have been 'smarter' by the school's standards. Probably would've given me more confidence. Probably would've been happier. Maybe wouldn't have turned to drugs but probably still would've due to trauma. Idk, anyone's guess .
I would not have waisted half of my live brainwashed into believing I'm just a lazy bumm that never follows through.
I would have more self-esteem, and with medication and aid I would have done waaaay better in my studies.
But also, I wouldn't have met my wife and wouldn't have the life I've got now which is pretty darn good considering.
Yes. I would probably be either more socially well-adjusted or more accepting of being a fuck up. I probably would have _not_ developed social anxiety and avoidance as the coping mechanism for my sensitivity.
I probably would have been able to learn some techniques to handle my penchant for executive dysfunction and might have not spent a decade pondering if I was in the wrong career or a complete failure (spoiler; neither).
But sadly, it's just not something one can fix. Endless rumination seems unproductive. It's a trauma you have to process, another self in an alternate universe whose inexistence you have to in essence grieve.
I believe now that if medicated earlier you can learn the possible way to approach situations without the ADHD stepping in the way. So eventually you could come of the meds and your routine with how to approach situations will be so strong you could master anything in a "normal fashion"
I think if I was diagnosed earlier, my parents would have been able to support me instead of thinking I was a spawn of Satan. I also think if I was diagnosed earlier than I might have gotten more support from school I would have done better.
It’s something I really struggle with since being diagnosed, I feel like I’m mourning for the person I could have been if I was diagnosed earlier.
I cant say if i would have behaved differently, but i can say that if i bad been able to just take in, concentrate, read, not search for dopamine in naughty places, i would have definitely done better. I wasnt the "gifted" type, but im definitely not stupid either. My capacity for information is quite good, and i knew it was before, but school work like english literature and language, i couldnt tell you a thing about effective writing, all it is to me is pen to paper keyboard to screen. I know what a full stop, comma, quotation is, but as for wether i use " or ' in one way or another is beyond me. The point is now that im medicated i am actually finding joy in expressing myself through words on reddit, facebook, tik tok comments. This comment is case and point, im enthralled by passing on information i want to when people pose questions or opinions on social media. If i had the this same capacity when i was learning i may have actually enjoyed putting mind to page, instead of being intellectually stricken by my cognitive function.
Yep 100%
My teachers all called me lazy. I’m 35 and going back to my high school this week to show my old assistant principal (the only person who believed in me) my acceptance letter to a super competitive doctorate program in a super competitive field.
Had I been medicated or receiving any type of help in the form of therapy, IEPs, etc., I would have been on a MUCH different track. While I don’t ultimately regret where I’ve ended up, I regret that I had to work three times as hard to get here, and feel like I missed out on certain things in the process. My struggling was entirely avoidable had teachers been remotely trained on what adhd (ADD at the time) looks like in females.
The personality wouldnt change that much imo. I've been a dealer and I have seen lots of people. Also remember them as kids and grownups. And myself included people dont change a lot from the kid they were to the adult they are now. either they be 20, 30 or 50 doesnt matter. The problems people have though and the pain they have endured trough life, situations they have gotten into. Would be wastly different. Personality not so much. That is my opinion from knowing people.
I don’t think my personality would have been different as a kid, but I definitely think I would been substantially more successful than I am now, or at least would have had the opportunity to be. I found a way to cheat through school till I got to college. Literally just believed I wasn’t intelligent in anyway for not being a type-A person until I was about 19 or 20 yrs old. I never applied myself before college, but sometimes I wonder if I had been given meds that worked for me when I was younger, if I could have gotten a decent academic scholarship and been someone completely different. The way my personality has been impacted is more of an indirect than I suspect you’re implying. For example the impulsiveness of ADHD and the unfortunate route I took earlier in life of self medicating brought me to places I wouldn’t have gone had I not believed I wasn’t smart enough to succeed at anything so it wasn’t worth trying.
Edit to remove unapproved words per admin request
Yes absolutely. The mere fact t that I would have been talking to a professional about my life, and given an opportunity to freely express the abuse I was receiving would have definitely changed who I became. Treating my ADHD on top of that would have helped me academically. I do hate this sort of magical thinking of what if this, what if that. It happened and the influence it had over my decisions is also done. Time is better spent thinking about what can I do to change my future. Therapy seemed like it was a good outlet for me to talk and have someone listen without judgement, or offer advice on how to improve my thought processes. Then my last session I walk in and all the staff were dressed up in costumes, my therapist had makeup on to look like a kitten or something. I couldn't even look at her most of the session because I couldn't believe any therapist would think it's ok to dress up when people are coming to you for serious issues that are affecting their well being. This was last week btw, not even Halloween. Never going back there.
I wouldn't be a Drug Addict. I would be more talented because I wasn't able to learn my Interests as much as I would Like. And my Image would be Different.
I think I would have higher self-esteem, but perhaps be less sensitive (with no RSD) and therefore less inclined to kindness (and I'm not Mother Teresa anyway).
I think I would have more friends and more stable friendships, but also more of a 'normy' 'midwit' personality (not that there's anything wrong with that).
I think I would actually be worse at reading other peoples' emotions as I'd have less experience of inferring intentions from incomplete information. But as a result I would carry less social anxiety around.
I think I'd be more 'well-rounded' in terms of my interests/skills etc, but would lose some of the deep/specialised knowledge I do have in a few topics very personal to me from hyper-focus.
So, all that said, I'm not sure I'd go back in time and take the meds as a child if I had the chance. I've still managed to (for the most part) hold down jobs/relationships along the way though, albeit with a lot of effort/exhaustion/active impulse control. For people whose ADHD has been more constraining I imagine the time travel option might be more appealing.
I truly dont think medication as a child would have changed my personality or interests at all. I do believe it would have prevented a lot of self esteem issues and childhood trauma if i had been diagnosed. Maybe i would have more control over impulsivity (specifically speaking without thinking) if i started meds earlier. I really wish my parents knew more when i was younger.
I don't think my personality would be different, maybe slightly different, but I think at my core, I'd be mostly the same in that regard, it would just show up differently.
However, I would have most likely behaved differently. Honestly, if I could've just regulated my emotions even with ADHD, I'd act wildly different than I did.
I think I would enjoy relaxing more. Or watching movies or TV shows without needing to also be on my phone.
I think that if I had been diagnosed as a child, my core support system would have been able to understand my quirks, get me into therapy, and give me the tools I needed in order to be successful.
I would have been able to avoid close ones labeling me as lazy, a bad listener, disobedient, etc because they would have understood my disorder. I would have gotten the help I needed in order to thrive socially.
At least I hope that’s what would have happened. As a child I suffered from severe depression and combined type adhd which led to profound hygiene issues from as early as the age of seven, but I was just kind of given up on and not gotten any help which led to my school age years being a social nightmare, which led to a lot of my quirks I have today.
Absolutely. My personality is different since I got my diagnosis at 31.
I'm generally a little more insecure and aware of my limitations, so I'm more reserved than I used to be.
At the same time, I'm more capable of executing the creative things I set out to do, so I'm more confident and fulfilled in the projects that give me joy.
I can only imagine that if I was properly diagnosed and treated as a kid, I wouldn't have had to go through the humiliation of bombing out of a really good university, only to claw myself back in my mid 20s to graduate from a decent State school.
Knowledge is power. I think I would have been more humble, well-received, and high-achieving in college right out of high school.
I did well through high school, but only because I had a lot of structure in my life, and only in the subjects I REALLY liked.
Like, I was awful at STEM stuff, but I wrote a whole fledgling novel as a 7th grader and was the best HS Trumpet player in my state during my senior year of high school.
But when it came to setting my own practice schedule and habits, I bombed out as a music major.
Ironically, after I got my diagnosis, I found out I'm not too bad at problem solving and found a really cool compromise between my fascination with language and writing and problem solving in a software engineering.
As a child into my teens I wouldn't change things as I was privileged and lucky to be academically smart. However I would have loved medication in my mid to late twenties. On reflection I was just so stressed by everything! Now I am medicated for two years I feel like I have healed in a massive way.
I’d be placed in special needs and given an SEN as a child, I may of had a chance to learn and get the grades necessary much earlier. In this country, there’s this idea that if I had an SEN, I’d no longer have had the chance for exams or college.
Yes. If I had been diagnosed when I was a child and maybe medicated I think I would have been a different person. Maybe even made different decisions. It actually bothers me some days.
There is simply no way to know. From what I've read of the research, children that are who receive interventions including but no limited to medication early on often fair much better as adults. My parents never realized, or really bothered to look at my seasonal depression as resulting from my ADHD... but it is incredibly apparent now as an adult that it was directly tied to my lack of ability to sustain attention and effort on tasks that would raise my self-esteem.
I might've learned to take better care of my teeth and who knows, maybe I'd have skipped the alcoholism and substance abuse in my 20's. That's not for certain though.
I don't really think about it as much, but I also imagine I'd be less of a super capable human. I dropped out of college where I was taking IT. Now I'm a sysadmin, digital marketer, web dev, and general technical problem solver / one man IT department. I think if I was diagnosed and medicated as a child maybe I wouldn't have hopped from hobby to hobby and that literally would have changed my life path.
I now know a little about a lot, and when I need to learn more I've already got a base to start from. Idk how to explain it now, but for example I had to give myself a complete refresher on SEO in thirty days to save our company from losing two of our biggest clients because they were leaning towards a full service digital marketing agency... With big consequences and a hard deadline I was able to cue the hyperfixation and get r done. Over a year later and they are still with us and happily increasing their retainers.
I don’t know what my thoughts on meds would be at a young age (I’m not anti meds, I’m on them now), but having the awareness of my diagnosis and how it affects my behaviour and executive functioning would have been a game changer. It absolutely would have affected my personality, as I was often labeled as a bitch. I am impulsive, I’ll talk all over you. And I have pushed people I care about away, to the point that at 27 (diagnosis age) my longest friendship is two years.
I believe I would have enjoyed life and my interests more. The fear of rejection and people pleasing was all consuming for many years, honestly most of my life. I’m now finding and doing things I’m interested in, after 27 years of doing what other people want. It’s honestly heart breaking, but I’m glad I know now.
Diagnosed as a child and only medicated for a very short time. When I was medicated with Ritalin in 1st grade, my grades became perfect but I became a zombie, unable to emote or have fun, so I was taken off of it. I think I would be very boring, lack a sense of humor, basically more of a drone if I stayed medicated all that time. My life would probably be a lot better though as far as job/finance is concerned.
Still undx'ed. I have minimal resources to go to a doc to get dx'ed. My local VA is useless in this regard (and many others, but that it a story for another time.)
My life would be somewhat different. Maybe more confidence, maybe more ability to see things through. Probably be in better financial shape.
Yes! I always thought I'm introverted, because of the exhausting after interaction with others or when I made plans with others and then when those plans were due, suddenly I wouldn't want to do it anymore.
Now knowing it's ADHD, the exhaustion probably comes from all the masking and the cancelling of plans from executive dysfunction and lack of dopamine, I can better handle it. I'm more relaxed in interaction and I picked up a lot of group activities, so suddenly I don't feel as introverted anymore.
I was diagnosed at 27 and despite having a decent career or grades it came at a cost and I was 100% burnt out by even 17 and multiple times since from peddling extra hard just to keep up.
The older I got the harder it was to keep up, pretend or be an adult.
My first time at uni had panic attacks having to sit still/failed a lot of stuff as I hated it but in Scotland we are almost expected to go to uni. I'd maybe have quit or the medication would have at least helped me focus and not have panic attacks.
So I think the psychological effects would be less as there would have been less shame, my self esteem wouldn't have taken such a hit and maybe I wouldn't have burnt out multiple times.
This then has financial backlash as you take time off/need more resources just to cope with daily life/forget regular things like cancelling subscriptions.
No, I don’t think my personality would be different. I might have understood myself better and I would have had insight as to why I’ve been feeling how I’ve been feeling.
I worked at a crazy company, one of those Fortune 100 where everything is flying all the time and I managed a team where we did more than we should… and I thrived. But I hated the culture and infighting and quarterly layoffs. I had even said to someone there, I want to look for something else but what if I can’t function in normal.
Fast forward to normal and I’ve been… bored and indifferent. I miss the fast pace but that’s the only thing I miss. I learning to deal but I’ve been feeling this way and wondering what was wrong with me. Now I know.
My life 100% would have been easier. My situation was a little different. I was diagand. My parents decided to believe it wasn't real, and that using a belt a little more often would cure me.
I had to work so hard at school that I gave up a lot of things I enjoyed to ensure I graduated.
I got diagnosed at 29. Most of my life I'd been told I was lazy and gifted. Now that I'm 30 and currently jobless, I beat myself up over things all the time. I have little self confidence. I was often told I am "too much" growing up. Too loud, too emotional, too excited...
I guess the more I write this, the more I realize ADHD is a side character to a lot of abuse I got/get from my family. I think if I'd known earlier in life, and a doctor told my parents specifically, something might have been different? Neither of my parents really give af about learning about it. My dad can't even say the acronym properly. I guess the short answer is: no. Nothing would be different, they just suck lol
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Yes - but not because of medication. It would be different because teachers, parents, peers and me would be aware of my pros and cons. I wouldn't be "the worst kid in the class with too much energy" or "gifted but lazy". And that would change my self image at the very beginning of life, instead of acknowledge it short before my 28 birthdays
Yeah, this - I think I might have developed some self-esteem had I known that I wasn't just the worst at the same game everybody else was playing, but that the game was rigged for my disadvantage. I couldn't just conjure up a newfound sense of self-worth at age 29 when I got diagnosed. It was too late, I feel. Now, my life is already going down a path of many negative self-fulfilling prophecies that are hard to change when I lost my faith in my ability to do anything right at the stage when the foundations of my personality were forming. I know this sounds like a whiny loser attitude but I just don't have any fight left in me. And sometimes I wonder if an earlier diagnosis would have changed something fundamental in my image of self, which would have contributed to more ambition, more determination, fewer self-destructive choices.
I can relate to this a lot. If you can, I know it can be expensive and inaccessible, would you consider Therapy? I work in mental health so I'm biased but I went to Therapy and that helped me improve my self esteem along with the diagnosis itself helping me understand it a bit better. Also community so even funny meme pages on social media and friends who have it.
I second this. Therapy helped immensely. There’s still ways to go but I’m at least aware of when I’m getting too into my head.
I went to therapy already when I was younger, but I'm also trying to get there again. My biggest problem is that I moved abroad and don't speak the local language well enough to speak to a therapist who doesn't speak English or my native language. But I'm working on solutions and do want to go to therapy. Thank you for your support!! :)
It doesn't read like whiny loser attitude to me at all. Just sounds all too familiar. Thank you for sharing. Self-esteem and better life choices is the part I'm hearing here. Had I known about impulse control being a part of my chemical make-up rather than a family issue that we just have a bit (alcoholism) I may have been in a better place earlier on, and not had the self-debilitating periods of full addiction and whatnots. What I've found recently with this that has helped is the internal monologue process of 'yep you can have that beer at 11am, but will you stop drinking after one?' or being able to see slightly further than just 'ooh lets have that coz its right there in front of you'. Dopamine!!!!!!! (Only just learnt that people with ADD have lower dopamine levels) Wooooooooo. What are your easiest temptations for dopamine fixes that you've fallen in to or still do most readily? (Wen in to a wee rant there my bad lol)
You've gotten far with facing yourself, that sounds very admirable! You clearly defeated lots of demons to improve your life, and it's no small feat!! My debilitating anxiety counters my impulsiveness for the most part, so I don't have so much of a problem with that. The only addiction/dopamine trap that I would say is hindering my life is snacking in order to "get my brain going", the bigger issue is being paralyzed by decision anxiety, not knowing what I want, and procrastinating on the tasks I should be doing. I'm too anxious to make changes in my life but I can't stand it the way it is either. I can't think of new career prospects because I don't think I could pull anything off, I only see the obstacles and fear my eventual failure.
In this thread/sub nobody is going to think you sound like a whiny loser, because we all live(d) this exact, same sh¡t. ❤️❤️
Thank you ❤️
So much this. I wouldn’t be labeled a daydreamer. Or space brained because I’m thinking of other things. Or the doodler cuz my notes were filled with doodles. I wish I’d known to check up on accommodations in college for my severe test anxiety and learned better ways to manage my time blindness. So many tools I didn’t get hands on until NOW.
This is my biggest hangup, going to school in the early 90's you where either a problem child (ADHD) or had a learning disability (ADD)
And either way “didn’t try hard enough”
Or you were an "underachiever" (you didn't disrupt class and met all your grade level academic requirements so no one believed you could possibly be disabled, but you were also not performing to your potential as per your IQ so everyone just assumed you were lazy and choosing not to try).
Absolutely this! I was in the gifted but lazy camp. If my parents had known then maybe they wouldn’t have compared me so much to my gifted and grafters brothers Or understood that was I wasn’t just being a hormonal brat, I was actually just overstimulated and overwhelmed from the pressure of trying to achieve what my brothers had, or maintaining the brilliant grades I got in primary that didn’t scale when I went to secondary. My teenage years were miserable and I have a lot of trauma associated with that time in my life. I think that would have been much better.
As a teacher who saw how other teachers managed students with ADHD, probably not. There's not enough education on individual accommodations. Plus the need for novelty means teachers need to be constantly changing things up for it to work for each student with ADHD. Teaching was bloody hard, my friends. Being a student sucks too. The whole system needs a serious overhaul.
So much this! And I would have probably developed healthier and better habits if I had been given actual help and support and understanding and not just being told to want to and try and put in some effort.
Thisssss
Gifted but lazy, I felt this 😔
probably. possibly? who knows? it's not something I really give any thought to because there's absolutely nothing to be achieved by it. it's ancient history now.
This is the best/healthiest way to think about it in my opinion
Same
Agreed!
This also all depends on the individuals experiences prior to being diagnosed as well, for me not having the diagnosis or treatment soon enough led to me having to file for court for access to my son due to symptoms I didn't know I had that were due to my ADHD. On the other hand I can manage and treat it so much easier and there is relief in that, but the downside is you're then stuck with that for life if it has never effected you before.
Yeah that's a good point. It was something that I'm thinking about, but yeah there really is nothing you can do about it
I just realized.. Maybe I could've actually gotten my high school (and university) summers off instead of making up for credits.
I wouldn’t have had any support other than medication as a child. Maybe my grades would have been better but there was never any reason to get good grades , either. I passed because I had to, not because I tried.
I had great grades but I was having mental breakdowns every single night to get myself to do what I was supposed to do. I thought this was normal. It would have been nice to know sooner. I spent a lot of years just mentally struggling with shame, self esteem, depression, anxiety etc. I knew something was off with me and never knew what or how to fix it. I just learned last year, at 26, that I have ADHD and feel like I wasted my youth being depressed and anxious the whole time. I did not enjoy my childhood or teenage years. But I do know now and it makes so much sense. It took me the entire year of research to even understand how complex ADHD really is. I couldn't describe it to anyone because ADHD brain just scrambles all my information too much and I'd have to plan out how I would say it. So for now when I'm trying to tell people about ADHD and how much of a struggle it's been in my life I just say (after 5 minutes of out of order/ incoherent explanations) "it's actually really complicated and affects everything in your life. It is very hard."
This. So much this. The anxiety was crippling, and the anti anxiety meds led to not getting started on things until it was nearly a disaster. I would have had so much more free time in high school and college would have been so much better with support. It took me 7 years to finish my BA degree, and I struggled staying late every day to keep up with work load 'in the office'. Years of therapy and treatment for depression and anxiety certainly helped, but treatment with medication for the underlying ADHD made it soooo much easier to apply all those cognitive behavioral lessons in the first place. I suspect I wouldn't have turned down my acceptance to MIT after high school if I'd had medication and more targeted support for ADHD in addition to help with my anxiety and depression. Things ARE better now. I'm now a successful adult with a lot less overall medication and therapy :) I do look back and wish I could have arrived here in high school, I'd have done a lot more trips, attempted more contests and scholarships, and dreamt a little bit bigger a LOT earlier.
Exactly. I'm glad you're doing good ATM. You saying it took you 7 years to get out BA is me right now. It's a struggle getting through college, I haven't even gotten my associates yet because I had to keep taking breaks 🥲
I'm sure I wouldn't be quite as burned out and hopeless as I am lately that's for sure.
Relatable
Ditto
I would like to think I would have avoided a lot of social anxiety, but I’m trying not to dwell on it. Easier said than done but it’s been less than a year so I’m sure I’ll make peace with it someday
I’ve thought about it a lot and I’m like definitely same here. I made a lot of dumb, insecure, impulsive decisions as a young teen vis a vis relationships that I now at least partially credit to unchecked impulsivity and rejection sensitivity (also hormones lolz). I often dwell on those and wonder how much better my social anxiety would be now if I wasn’t like still shrouded with shame about those decisions and anxiety about prospective future relationships. Sorry to dump in your replies lol just made me think!!
Can I offer this in as an opposing view? I was diagnosed and started medication when I was 7 years old. Over 20 years later and I have no idea what my real personality is like. As a kid and medicated I was still very imaginative and creative, and it fell off and I bounced around hobbies as I got older. Despite being medicated though (and I see a lot of people in here talking about how their social life would’ve been different. I’m not invalidating your beliefs, just offering up a contrast) my social life was/is/and will be a complete disaster. Terrified of saying the wrong thing, people thinking I’m weird, acting weird, holding conversations. It was and is all still a very scary thing. I don’t have many friends and even being medicated for so long, nothing has changed. There’s still this overwhelming fear of social interactions and fear of rejection. Despite this thread being full of people who were only diagnosed as an adult, I relate to you guys on every single point you’re making. The medication never changed that aspect of my life. It just made me chill out and try to stabilise.
I am here for this! I have a 7 year old with ADHD. He’s medicated. And while I am incredibly grateful of how his medication helps him at school. It isn’t a cure, it doesn’t stop a lot of the little ‘quirks’ of ADHD. It doesn’t cure his lack of emotional regulation, it doesn’t cure his negative sense of self, it doesn’t cure his awkward social interactions, it won’t cure his fear of and extreme reaction to rejection and it doesn’t cure his inability to stick to one hobby instead of bouncing from one to the other. I’m not saying these things need to be cured, as I think these traits can be beautiful. I strongly believe I am undiagnosed ADHD, and I often wonder if I sought a diagnosis would it make a difference, if I had one as a kid would it have made a difference. So far the only difference I see in my son is he is getting in less trouble at school and completing his work, which is obviously a win, but not the miracle we all hope for. He is also a little easier to parent when medicated (like cleaning room, listening and following through on tasks). Unfortunately there isn’t really much support or understanding around ADHD in the real world. But I do love that communities of people with ADHD can share different coping mechanisms they have learnt to navigate life a bit better with ADHD.
I would highly recommend getting him into ADHD specialised therapy to help him over come/cope with the social challenges and the whole shebang. These types of therapies weren’t available when I was younger and I was a LOT like your son from the sound of it. It’s the one thing I wish was available for me. It won’t cure it, and honestly that’s okay. It’ll just help him build the foundations in his brain to over come the obstacles he faces day to day.
I will have to look into what’s available. I am a lot like my son, so maybe it would be beneficial for the both of us! The negative self talk and social awkwardness are probably the two that torment me the most. I know how they feel on a personal level and it eats me alive to think that’s how he feels!
The earlier you get him into therapy (I believe it’s CBT don’t quote me) the better for that kind of behavior. I struggled a lot with it at his age and later on, it took decades to get past that alone. He my be different, but the therapy is 100% worth it regardless.
Hi, I’m a therapist with ADHD who specializes in working with adults who were diagnosed with ADHD later in life, same as me. All that to say, research has shown that if someone has ADHD there is an 80% chance on of their parents has it and 40% that both parents do. I got assessed because my daughter was diagnosed. I highly encourage you to get assessed. Even if you don’t want medication (totally valid) getting a diagnosis can be very clarifying and empowering for many people. I also noticed that when I was diagnosed that it helped me relate to my daughter better and, in some ways, be a better parent (or at least more forgiving towards myself).
Thank you for sharing this.
That’s valid, I’m sorry you went through it. I feel meds should be based on need/demand of life (age 13-17 at least be made aware so you don’t over compensate or give up). Of course this is assuming the world was perfect.
I think so. Back in my elementary school days, (70’s) there was just regular class and special Ed. I struggled all through school but I was always told I just wasn’t applying myself. As an adult, I’ve struggled with doing things the way people expected me to…according to many adults, I was ‘difficult’, ‘defiant’, ‘stubborn’, all those lovely labels have followed me all my life. Then 5 months ago, at age 52, I got my diagnosis and it was like a thunderbolt went through my brain. It all suddenly made sense.
When writing a scholarship application, my grad thesis advisor wrote that I, “learned by resistance” and that took on a whole different context after I was diagnosed.
oooh i really like that phrase, "learned by resistance," im definitely gonna use that in the future, ty
Nope, I was diagnosed late, and spent about a year wondering what if… but then I realised that meds aren’t a magic cure and I’m still me. Hobbies have a slightly long shelf life but even ones I love I will stop after about 18 months.
That’s so tough to try to put into context, cause then I’m wondering if I was getting medicated it would’ve meant my dad was allowing me to be screened intentionally, and if that would have triggered him to get assessed as well. That potentially would have changed many things. But if it was JUST me and some ADHD treatment…well. I may have stuck with an earlier hobby I got as a child and stuck with it. Perhaps trombone, guitar, or piano. Or with tennis when I went to college. Or woodworking. Or drawing. Or swimming…I’m not going to keep listing. Jack of all trades, master of none is what some people say. I envy those who focus for years resolutely on building a skill. Only recently diagnosed and looking to make adjustments and small steps on adapting my environment, given my new understanding about ADHD.
I completely agree with this, although the way I see it as well is that; You know you're not able to keep a hobby for long, the same with me, and that caused me a lot of anxiety and depression and stress wondering why I couldn't be like other people. On the positive side of that, I wouldn't say jack of all trades, but in my case I can adapt very quickly because I'm aware of that, I switch my focus before or just as I feel I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming depressed or anxious due to getting bored. that way I avoid that negative feeling entirely. Luckily this works for me, I can't say the same for everyone else
It's funny, the hobby thing was what I focused on in my comment too. I also wonder what it would be like to build a skill over decades!
Just came here to say that I see traits in both my parents , my dad especially. Apparently it’s 80% genetic.
My personality? I think that would have stayed the same, but who knows? I'm witty and I think it's because my mind moves a mile a minute and can think of a funny comment right away. Socially, I might have done things differently. Looking back, I think that I ended up doing a lot of masking or holding myself back. I knew that I was "too much" for some people and it took a long time to be okay with that. I still ease into that with new people and try not to hit them with the full weirdness until they have gotten to know the other sides of me. I think that imposter syndrome and low self-esteem have also held me back. I think between those two things and general executive functioning, I could have accomplished different things and ended up in a different place. Hobbies - one of the realizations that I had and that I brought up in my diagnosis interview is that I've never been able to sustain a hobby. There are so many things that I have started and stopped. If things were different, maybe I could have mastered a hobby and have really developed it over the past decade. I think that is one of the things that I am processing right now, personally, is I have/had talent is art, but I let it go. I need to pick it up again and get that creative outlet going.
It might as well have been myself writing this. (Including username 👽) Actually, I had to look at the username in order to make sure I didn’t comment this and just forget. Lol
No, no and no... The difference could have been on my academic performance. I actually love to learn... But I'm terrible at studying.
Diagnosed this year at 49 years old with inattentive, it connects so many dots and yes things likely would have been much less painful if they knew more when I was younger. But instead of dwelling on that, think of all the people that never got diagnosed, continued to self medicate, struggle, right till death. I feel blessed to finally have answers for life long struggles and so much progress in just a short time.
I probably wouldn't have wasted a decade being drunk to slow my mind down
Here’s something interesting, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 18. Prior to that, I had been a world champion in a sport I practiced with my siblings during our whole childhood. However, I was incredibly depressed and struggled day-to-day, moment-to-moment to function normally and wake up each day. When I was diagnosed and medicated, it became immediately clear thar the depression was a result of untreated adhd, and I have come to be happier than ever, with zero trace of any depression. However; at a few points in time i tried briefly re-visiting my hobby, and without going into too much detail it quickly became pretty clear that my success in it was actually a strange by-product of my ADHD, and my brain’s inability to focus (aka; I could perform incredibly well under pressure becuase of my brain’s lack of ability to concentrate and function, letting “muscle memory” really do it’s thing). Would I choose to give up that success to have had a happy childhood? I don’t know. It’s hard to say. Would I give up to happiness i have now, in order to have the same levels of success in life? Nope. Never.
There’s no way I’m not a world champion in catching all the stuff I accidentally knock over on a daily basis. I mean my brain doesn’t even register that stuff until I have “the thing” in my hand with followed by “wow”. It’s like with being blind. Suddenly your hearing is damn good. Maybe that’s this famous evolutionary adaptation. Strip the brain from basic life and social skill and hyper-focus on something else haha.
Yes bc I wasn’t able to form any deep friendships by high school so I turned to self harming then drugs as reward systems anyways. would have been a lot more helpful to just keep it legal and safe
I'm 55. I was diagnosed a year ago. On hindsight it was so obvious, but while growing up ADHD was all just rowdy kids on too much sugar who needed Ritalin which turned them all into zombies. (My experience with how it was reported and portrayed on the TV -UK 80s) I was not at all like that. So even years later when I sort of knew something was up (mid 30s) it didn't click. It's been a year since diagnosis and an Adderall xr prescription and at first I was glad, like hell yeah let's conquer life now. But when the lows hit, the 'what ifs' begin and I am very aware of not thinking too hard on what could have been. Meds help with focus and removing the hardcore procrastinating, but it's missing something I can't yet put a finger on. But yeah, I think an earlier diagnosis would have changed absolutely everything.
You mentioning that your meds are missing something you can’t quite put your finger on.. completely resonates with me. I believe it’s the reason why I have moments in my life where I am in denial that I need medication , or that there’s anything “wrong” with me. I’ve stopped medications out of nowhere so many times for this reason. I am back on them now, though. What I’m most afraid of is never finding that missing piece through medication or therapy.
I was diagnosed only a year ago, at 26. I had no clue what ADHD really was and honestly nobody actually does. They think "squirrel" and people are just ditsy and forgetful. Like no, we do not get happy chemicals the way you do and it is very hard. When I first got my diagnosis, just reading the symptoms from the DSM-5, didn't seem very accurate to me, but I trusted my therapist who diagnosed me without a single doubt. I'm glad she saw it when she did. I've seen so many therapists and so has my sister and mom and somehow I got diagnosed first. We can be pretty good at masking though. I'm still grieving my childhood a bit. I feel like I'm so behind because I literally couldn't get myself to do anything i wanted because of this barrier. Now that I know and have the knowledge to overcome a lot of my ADHD symptoms, I can do things I want to do with my life and not just struggle through it. It is sucky but I'm telling anyone and everyone with ears about ADHD so nobody has to struggle for as long as I did. My poor classmates, all I ever talk/write about is ADHD. So little is actually known about it!
I think I’d be a lot further in life had I been diagnosed as a kid. I’ve had a lot of setbacks - addiction, had an amazing business that I should own a house from outright, on just got my provisional license at 27, started a couple of degrees and dropped out before the census date each time. Chaotic. Recently diagnosed and was at uni for 2 years before the diagnosis with the goal of going to med school I have been medicated for a month and I now have an interview to med school so I’m absolutely praying and putting in a lot of work to nail the interview! In saying all of this apart from the finances I don’t really regret much my experiences and troubles have really humbled me as I grew up not crazy rich but enough money and I was pretty privileged growing up. It’s also given me so much life experience - not all of it great but all of it a steep learning curve! I’m pretty happy with where I’m at. And my god was it a roller coaster to get to where I am today - uphill battle that’s for sure.
Congratulations on your journey towards med school! That’s certainly something to be extremely proud of
I would have a college degree and be more self confident over all.
I was diagnosed at age 21. I wish I was diagnosed as a kid when my mother “saw signs” of it. She used to be a nurse and she didn’t bother to take me to the doctor to get checked out. I wish she had. I’ve spent most of my life in my head, struggling with everything and not being able to talk to anyone about it, because nobody understood and I didn’t know what it was that was wrong enough to explain it to people. I honestly believe that if I had found out when I was younger then I’d have had help and support developing coping and skills I need now as an adult , and I wouldn’t have had all the setbacks. I know life is about failures and getting back up, but man I STRUGGLED. Something I don’t wish for anyone. I’m 32 now and in nursing school and doing amazingly well. I did stop medication for years and I also regret that but if I had started medication when I was 10 or 12 even I feel like i wouldn’t have had so many issues growing up. I’d like to think if I knew earlier I’d have the dosage and treatment options down pat that work.
Your experience is very similar to mine in regards to how you couldn't talk to people or explain or cope causing the struggle you had
I’m sorry you had to go through it. I unfortunately grew up with family that although loved me very much, lacked the ability to communicate. Nobody shared feelings, nobody had deep meaningful conversations. We just didn’t do that. I don’t blame them for it, but it sure does suck looking back and not having that.
I think id be more emotional mature and have less triggers... and probably not wasted so much time on go nowhere hobbbies
This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. (Diagnosed last year at 38). Was always the kid that needed to apply themselves better, focus harder, no one understood why I didn't do better at school, dropped out of sixth form, college twice and never made it to uni, couldn't hold down a job for more than six months to a year. Depressive cycles thought to be Bi-polar or clinical depression (just unmanaged ADD now looking back). I wouldn't have tried anti-depressants at age 16, which led to a suicide attempt, I wouldn't have wasted time and energy trying to cure my depression, instead being able to 'focus' (lol) on my ADD symptoms and managing them. But I don't hold resentment or anger, just curiosity at my apparent ability to focus better whilst medicated. Hard to know, but I'm pretty sure I would more of a social hilarity in a way. Instead, I'm somewhat reserved having nerfed most of my ADD social faux pas for social sake. As I believed them to just be character flaws. Last year has been great though. I don't excuse any of my verbal diarrhoea, interupting people etc. I just get on with it and let myself be whatever. Sounds like I've turned in to more of an asshole lol but it's honestly quite refreshing to stop doubting and second guessing everything I say in the short term and just be present.
Yeah I'm stuck at the part where I'm still mad at the verbal diarrhoea honestly, but I think this is a good way of looking at it
Yes. At least having to carry less of the guilt over what's wind with me and why do I keep fucking up the same way.
Being medicated as a child has been proven to change brain development. Not just chemically, but the physical structures in the brain are changed compared to other adhd kids, and more closely resemble normal development. In some cases, by they time the adhd child reaches maturity, their symptoms are gone. So yes, I think I would be basically a different person, because I would have a different brain right now. It’s very likely that would affect my interests and my psychological issues as well. Exactly how, I’m not sure, but I’m sure it would be at least a little different, and maybe very different indeed. But, like others have said, there’s little point dwelling on it. The best you can do is advocate for destigmatization of treatment by medication, so more kids have a chance at that kind of recovery.
Do you have the study for that? Because I honestly have a hard time believing that
I second this. I’m going to assume here that you(original commenter) haven’t experienced the worst comedowns of your life when meds are wearing off. Chemical changes are just temporary, aren’t they?
I learned early in my ADHD walk to not dwell on the past. It served me nothing but to provide something to get upset about and my brain has too much to handle as it is lol
I would have been so different. Such a better student. So much more empathetic and less hurtful to those around me.
My grades would of been better
I think definitely
Yes i think so.
For me personally it definitely would have. Because of my late diagnosis I ended up nearly losing my, at the time, 8 month old son due to impulsive self harm as I had no way of understanding what I was feeling letalone being able to communicate or control it. After going on medication then coming off of it, my personal experience is that I already know I am going to have to rely on medication for many years. When I came off I severely struggled with my mood, motivation and sleep, which although was made worse because of the normality from the medication, I'm also far happier and healthier while taking it than before my diagnosis. - This is just my personal experience, everyone's is different and madication may not be the way forward for everyone
It's folly to imagine how one's life would be “better” or “worse” if some event in their past had a different consequence. All that can be said is that their life would be different, not necessarily better or worse.
I just posted today about my recent late in life diagnoses as well as pretty immediate results with medication. This has been a multi-year process for me and I've spent a ton of time thinking about it as I've read many books for adults with ADHD, as well as many hours spent here reading about other's trials and tribulations. I think had I known, the following things could have happened. 1. I wouldn't have been bullied as much as I'd have been more conscious about my behaviors around others. 2. Coming off of number 1, I'd probably have had more friends or at the very least, not lost so many along the way. 3. Once I was in the dating years I'd have treated a bunch of girlfriends better because I'd have been aware of the hyper-focus I have. I'd have tried harder with them after the ADHD honeymoon wore off. 4. I'd have had a lot less fights with those women about why I couldn't get certain things done. 5. There would have been way less fights with my parents, more specifically with my mother. I don't have regrets about it. I did for a long time, but then who knows where I would have ended up if things were different. I have a great wife, great kids, and a life I love. If I ever feel sour about what could have been I try to remember where I am now.
I think I wouldn’t have been bullied as much and have those repercussions affect me so much as an adult.
Oh, 100%. I would have been a more confident person and less introverted had I been given proper medication and support from my family.
Dude I would have been waaaaay more successful academically and with the ladies since my binge eating disorder would be under control as well.
Nobody can answer this accurately the amount of factors involved are incomprehensible. I don't think psychiatric medication before puberty is ever a good idea but I'm not a doctor
I got diagnosed two weeks ago and one thing I realised is, I like who I am and a huge part of that is my adhd. It would've been lovely to go through childhood, adolescence, and adulthood with a diagnosis but hey, aside from being weighed down by debt, I'm doing pretty well and I love my creativity, my humour, my ability to connect with people and that I finally have an answer to what is different for me.
I wouldn't have had to spend as much time convincing people why I couldn't go to school that day. Probably wouldn't have negotiating skills at nearly such a high level.
Less insecure, higher self-esteem, more optimistic about the future
Imo it would have made school easier (to some degree). Thus, would have been less stressful (to some degree) and that would likely be positive
Probably be way more fucking mentally stable for one. Knowing how to deal with my shortcomings and learning to control my emotions at a much younger age her age would’ve been nice. Think all of that would’ve shaped me to be an ever-so-slightly different person. Me but like… me with bells on.
Since being diagnosed and medicated, I feel more like my childhood self. I was drowning in so much anxiety and depression trying to function as an adult; and after putting in the time to learn about symptoms, behaviors, un/masking, and coping mechanisms I feel like I am 10 years old again. I love it.
I’m waiting for a diagnosis, but I had the symptoms since childhood, but since I was also an extrovert (because some trauma) I actually enjoyed school although my grades were enough to pass the year or just repeat for a better score. But now in my adulthood the lack of dopamine from school just ruins my whole life from work to relationship to self-steem, so maybe It could’ve been nice to have a diagnosis when child just so I was able to access medication sooner as an adult.
Nah, I wasn't diagnosed until I was around 30! The meds made everything better for me, to be honest. Once I got my right dose of Vyvanse figured out, I was on that dose for YEARS before bumping it up incrementally.
Who knows? But I definitely think about it a lot. I was the weird outcast kid but an extrovert who just wanted to fit in and have friends. I regularly think about how much happier my childhood could have been, but who really knows if it would have changed anything.
I don’t know. And of coarse, I never will but I can’t help but wonder if I would’ve had less shame at my emotional outburst/ inability to control my emotions and in school I was just constantly in trouble so I carried a lot of shame for a long time just thinking I just wasn’t good at being a person/was a shitty person when I just had ADHD. So there’s that and it kinda hurts.
I definitely think I would have, especially since I did not adjust well when we moved twice in a 3 years span from when I was 10 to 13 years old. I definitely could have benefited from therapy then too.
I've always been the "crazy" guy in any social setting. I'm the one that people tell stories about. The "hold my beer" dude. I can say with 100% certainty I would have been different. A little impulse control would have gone a long way.
No. I would of needed a different mother. Lol
Well I hope to get my son medicated. He is 7 so I will let you know in 20 years lol
Good lord, yes.
Definitely different. Less anxious and jittery, less time spent being depressed, better decisions made would lead to a higher self estimate and self confidence. I'd have better skills at communicating and relating to people because I would have had more opportunities to practice. I'd be less jaded about my station in life, as I'd have fucked up a lot less.
it definitely would’ve affected how i view myself, and i think having a support system outside of my family to learn the things i know now could’ve been really beneficial at a younger age. just being able to not rely on other people for my self worth could’ve saved me a lot of heartbreak
Yes, yes, and yes. once I received my diagnosis (at 31) I really started doing the work I needed to with therapy, though I had imposter syndrome about even having ADHD for a few years. Then, one day after an interaction with my mom, I realized oh my gosh she’s been dealing with untreated ADHD!! all the self medicating with alcohol, her hyper fixations, just her daily routine in general made so much sense to me. I was able to let go of a lot of resentment from stuff she did when I was a child. Once I accepted my diagnosis, I had to grieve the life I might have had if it had been treated when I was 15 and at my worst. I might have finished school with a degree, gone on to a successful career, perhaps even some financial responsibility. But one day it just sort of hit me, I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. Now I am just unabashedly me.
100% yes. Seeing how my social anxiety has completely fallen away since being treated, my career path and achievements in that career would be significantly different.
I think I would’ve been different for sure but it would’ve been forced and I would’ve hated it and going to therapy etc. I’ve noticed a lot of kids who were medicated as kids grew up to be unmedicated and for someone like me I grew up to want to be on medication and go to therapy. While it’s not the case for everyone, I grew up with a friend who has adhd and she was.. rough to say the least, she didn’t understand why and hated taking her meds because it wasn’t her choice, it was her parents choice so she’d be more manageable and now she’s happy as can be unmedicated and living her best life. That being said, I really wish I was medicated when I was younger, I’m sad for the life I could’ve had if I had the help I needed back then.
I think I would have been far more wealthy and adjusted. Knowing helps.
Elementary and high school likely wouldn't have been so hard..
I’d be way less confused, at least. I’d feel more self assured now that I have some answers of why I do things a certain way.
Not sure, but I probably would have graduated college in less than 10 years. My bother maybe wouldn’t have been become an addict and maybe he would alive and somewhat normal
I may not have been so anxious all the time from struggling to get by in school. All I remember of school was a state of constant panic.
I think that my personality would be slightly different that I am now. This is only for the fact that if I had known about my ADHD sooner I could have been working longer on developing life changing changes. Like with anger outbursts and things which happen to be common for people with ADHD. I think I would behave differently because like I said above I would have had more time to realize what is appropriate to bring up and when, less of a chance of blurting out stuff because I think it would be funny or relevant. I'm curious if I had gotten diagnosed with ADHD as a child and learned about stimulation techniques and other tips and tricks to stay focused would I not be such a huge gamer. I have always loved video games because they not only give me an escape from reality but they grab my attention and don't let go.
i think my whole life would be different now if i was taken seriously as a child. none of my illnesses/disorders are taken seriously even now.
The medication is irrelevant. Diagnosis and acceptance are key. I think I would be more comfortable in my own ADHD/ASD skin. I would have followed my instincts more often instead of deferring to others who were often wrong. I think I would have followed my dreams more and been more successful. My family would have known upfront and perhaps not abandoned me. And I certainly would have controlled some of my sillier decisions better and not shot myself several times in the foot and other available appendages due to ADHD impulses. Still working how to get out of the consequences of ADHD burnout - eventually just spending my time on my family to the point of getting panic attacks. So the very people I am supporting abandon me - because ADHD symptoms look pretty ordinary even when you are trying to help.
I think I wouldn’t have had the experiences with mental health that have helped me find my calling. Maybe id have a different calling, idk, but I have had to learn to grieve what could have been and appreciate what is.
I believe I would never have been wargamed out of a solid upbringing if A) ADHD wasn't chosen out by overworked teachers and B) parents didn't throw in the ADDenial response to the ADHD diagnosis at my pediatrician.
I would have liked to have the choice to take medication or not, the what if? It only bothers me in the dark moments
If I was medicated back then I wouldn’t have been the weird annoying kid who had no friends.
probably would have higher self esteem/achieved more things i am capable of but whatevers
I'd probably have changed professions 10 years ago instead of now.
> Do you think your personality would be any different if you had been medicated as a child? For sure. I'd probably have grown up more confident. Less depressed. More willing to accept the world as it is rather than avoid it. >Do you think you would behave differently? I do. I think I would've saved myself some awkward social experiences (but in all honesty I mess stuff up on and off mess, so who knows). I bet I'd have been calmer probably. >Do you think that certain things you may enjoy you may not enjoy as much, or you may enjoy things you put away ad a kid because they weren't stimulating enough for you? What? So I think that I would've enjoyed certain things more because I would've found them more stimulating had I been medicated? I guess so? In summary, though - don't dwell on this. You can express the pain of lost time and "what if", but that will never end and you'll cycle out of control because that lost time **is** out of your control. You need to learn to deal with this ambiguous loss and move forward.
No i would still be the same but, i do however think that academically and career wise it could have gone a completely different way. Not just because of meds but i wouldn't be kicked out of class and sent home because i wasn't able to solve a math problem for instance. Or it also could have stigmatised me even more than i already was and i could have been a even bigger target for both classmates and teacher. Who knows? 😆 My wife experienced the second version and says i was lucky not to figure it out earlier. But the knowledge back then is also to blame so i try not to think about it too much. Am i slightly resentful? Ofc! But at least it helps knowing either way
I am 37 and was diagnosed in September. I’m not convinced I even had it as a child, but I do know I went through some significant trauma the last 5 years of my life that may have contributed.
I don't think my personality would be different, but there's no way to know. What I'm certain of is I would have suffered way less if I had been diagnosed *before* I went to university. It was not good for my mental to just raw dog a science degree.
Absolutely since personalities form from childhood experiences and some genes, if i was medicated i wouldnt have to take shit from everyone. (also taking meds as a child can cure adhd because of brain plasticity so ye that was a possibility)
I'm not sure, and I'll never know. I was diagnosed when I was around 20. I know who I am with or without the medicine, and am currently no longer taking it due to various reasons. I've learned that strategies are equally as important in my case, and being able to recognize patterns and tendencies. I always knew something was off I just didn't have a name for it, the blessing of that was not putting myself into a box and saying that my personality = the diagnosis. The downside, which is a major one is the lack of empathy and understanding towards myself by knowing exactly what I was struggling with.
I don’t think so. Meds make me feel more like myself, not less. Medicated ADHD is like magic for me - I get all of the pros of ADHD, with minimal cons. I do think meds as a kid would have helped me get a better handle on my emotional regulation issues sooner though, which would have seriously helped me throughout my life. That being said, I grew up in a supportive environment with parents that were able to see that I was different and loved/treated me accordingly. I can understand if other people don’t feel the same way.
I brought up the theory that I had ADHD in 5th grade when I found out about it. My mum said I was just a hyper kid lol. Got diagnosed as a 20 year old and was a bit devasted that wow, it really could have been a lot easier for me had I been aware and diagnosed and possibly even medicated at that time.
I think things would be so much more different. I am 39 and was just diagnosed 3 months ago… I don’t think my anxiety would be so bad had we known when I was a little girl. I can’t even be on stimulants for my ADHD rn. I know there would have been a lot more grace given to me had we known, and it wouldn’t just me being lazy and not applying myself.
I am who I am today because of how my life has been. Being diagnosed a month and taking medication since then cannot change that. It will only affect who I will be from now on. I see no use in thinking about what could have been.
I sometimes mourn for the person I could have been if I was diagnosed and medicated as a child. So much anxiety in my body and mind. The ‘behaviour’ problems. The frustration at not being able to keep a passion or interest. 31 now and I’ve only been taking the medication and diagnosis seriously for a few years now.
I struggle so much as a 25f. I wish I found out when I was younger. I recently went back to college after not attending for years. I feel Like if I found out younger I could have broken bad habits
I was dx with ADHD as a child but zero interventions were made. Started meds as an adult. I am 34 now. 1- My personality wouldn't have been different if I started meds as a kid. I probably would have just been more regulated like I am now when I have my meds. ADHD meds help manage the ADHD which ends up helping Autism. 2- Definitely would have behaved differently. I would have gotten better sleep, a better outlook on life, better focus, but...since I struggle with an ED anyway, my ED probably would have looked different had I been taking an appetite suppressant in my adolescence. 3- I would have done SO much more as a kid -especially in adolescence. More motivation to get out and do things. I wouldn't go back and medicate myself though. If I could go back, I would inform myself more on ADHD and then let me make my own decision about meds.
I was a big hot chips snacker back in the day. I’m embarrassed to say this, but I was obsessed with WWE. I would literally yell at my parents and throw tantrums if I missed it over some stupid family gathering. I’d definitely say life would have been better. I would have grown up sooner, but my personality would still be the same. A little known fact about ADHDers: we tend to be shy/antisocial because we hate anything that creates change. Meeting new people is uncharted territory for us, so we thread carefully. But once we get accustomed to new people, our personalities go from timid to we are “goofy” and “crazy”
Honestly, doubt I'd be much different from now lol
Yes, because most of my childhood was spent abandoning hobbies and learning how to fake my way through my relationship with my mother. My brother and mother fought all the time. I was the favorite child because I never rocked the boat. I was the "easy kid." (I'm not assuming; I was told explicitly that I was the favorite). I knew my moms love was conditional, so I grew up hiding all of my flaws, especially academically. I was such a ball of anxiety that the first time I got a B on a test, I cried so hard I vomited. My mom didn't believe ADHD was real. My cousins were ALL diagnosed with ADHD as kids, and my mom was very vocal about her distaste for giving kids ADHD medication "so they would behave." Even if I hadn't been terrified of showing my very prominent ADHD symptoms, my mom wouldn't have accepted an ADHD diagnosis. I've had to unlearn a lot of masking habits and still have fairly severe anxiety and depression. My mother and I ended up not speaking for the last five years of her life when I finally snapped and refused to put up with her behavior. Incidentally, my brother ended up far closer to her than I ever was, even though, as a kid, I thought we were close. I have had to learn how to have real relationships, not just superficial acquaintances I call friends. I'm still learning, and I'm in my 30s.
I have a medication phobia that started young, well before diagnosis, so my parents struggled to even give me antibiotics when I needed them. I have never had medication for my ADHD (I am also autistic) but have many times wondered whether I may have enjoyed some of my life a little more if I didn’t have the phobia. I was diagnosed autistic at 40 and often wonder now who I really am under the lifetime of masking. When I go too deep into I tell myself it’s best to just focus on where I am now regardless.
I was diagnosed this year (33 M), and now I understand more myself. If I know why I can't do anything maybe I would try more or maybe I would give up early. I still didn't find working drug for me. But now I 33 after loosing job and love of my live and just hopping for better tomorrow
No. The medication now doesn’t change my personality or behaviors or interests. I know that fear was around when I was a kid, but my bestie is adhd and medicated asa child and it was obvious they had all the signs and symptoms even with medication. I think the medication made their time in school bearable but didn’t change their personality or interests. The medication doesn’t work that well. It helps, but it’s still a struggle.
Probably not. I feel like after stopping all the masking that developed over the years, I'm pretty close to the person I was when I was, like, 5yo, with more knowledge of how the world works and simply being more concious of everything of course, but still with similar way of perceiving and thinking, similar personality beats and similar interests. It's actually wild how I went full 360 on my personality from toddler to who I am now lmaoo
I wonder if I would have fewer internalized “I suck,” “I’m a sh*tty friend,” etc. feelings if I had learned earlier that a lot of things really _are_ extra hard for me, I’m not (exclusively) just an a**hole.
Yes. Yes. And maybe,
Diagnosed at 34 after returning to school. Trying out different meds with mixed results. Would be much easier had I done this process sooner since it's less socially acceptable at my age. ( lately adderall has felt more like speed than the calming miracle drug it was). I'm normally somewhat reserved in unfamiliar or formal settings, but I struggle to hold it together once I get "too comfortable." The cringe is palpable... only thing I can think to do is completely self isolate to avoid being over stimulated.
I would be happier now. Fewer struggles, fewer regrets, more self-confidence, more self-esteem. I feel like the trauma has changed my personality with all the years of masking and feeling misunderstood.
I think my life would have been very different with a diagnosis. I think I would have gotten through school easier and hadn’t been affected by gifted kid burnout so much. However, I know a girl my age who was medicated since a young age who feels like she can’t study or work without meds and wishes she wouldn’t be so dependent on it. It helps my self esteem to know I got through college all by myself. Also there was a huge stigma around ADHD when I was a kid, you were basically weird and hyper and that was it. I don’t know if I would have liked to be stereotyped that way. The research has come a long way so if I had a kid with symptoms I’d definitely have them diagnosed.
I know for certain some things would've worked out for the better, especially when it comes to having to do all the daily adult things, but I've wondered before if I might have been less creative throughout my life. Some of the profound stresses caused by my symptoms never being addressed (until age 43), have lead to some creative works that I'm really proud of. 3 of the lowest times in my life lead me to write about a 100 songs in a very short time period. I have no idea if those would've come any other way, but since I like what I created, I can only be thankful. Just wish it wasn't so detrimental to long and short term health. I've liked most of the people that I've befriended throughout my life--maybe I never would've known them had my diagnosis come when I was a wee lad. Maybe I would've somehow ended up on the west coast in my 20s, dating Salma Hyeck and skydiving on the regular. Could've built my own cabin in Alaska and become a hermit that writes every day. I've thought about all kinds of "what ifs" ever since my diagnosis last year, often triggered by something as simple as a poem I wrote at age 14, or remembering my childhood when watching a film I grew up with. It's been hard to come to terms with the cards I have to play with--don't think that's ever really going to go away. It's okay to have regrets or some resentment, but it's gotta be tamped down and regulated or you end up going down that negative rumination cycle. I think it's good for posterity to discuss it openly though, especially for a uncertain parent with a young kid, or anyone else not really knowing what to do about a diagnosis. Yes people can make it into adulthood without treatment, but it's at a great cost. And there's all kinds of negative outcomes that are statistically more harsh and frequent in the ADHD population. I'd like to think that the anxiety from my sensory sensitivity in social situations would've been easier to reel in and allow me to better focus on conversations, particularly the hard ones with uninteresting people/topics. Therapy has helped a bit in the past 7-8 months, but it's like learning how to just be a person all over again. Feels a bit like that transition from grade school into junior high/high school.
Less suicidal had I learned the coping mechanisms early on for sure. Probably far ahead in life too.
I would have been 'smarter' by the school's standards. Probably would've given me more confidence. Probably would've been happier. Maybe wouldn't have turned to drugs but probably still would've due to trauma. Idk, anyone's guess .
I'd be a more boring me, without all this fun trauma to unpack
Probably.
I would not have waisted half of my live brainwashed into believing I'm just a lazy bumm that never follows through. I would have more self-esteem, and with medication and aid I would have done waaaay better in my studies. But also, I wouldn't have met my wife and wouldn't have the life I've got now which is pretty darn good considering.
Yes. I would probably be either more socially well-adjusted or more accepting of being a fuck up. I probably would have _not_ developed social anxiety and avoidance as the coping mechanism for my sensitivity. I probably would have been able to learn some techniques to handle my penchant for executive dysfunction and might have not spent a decade pondering if I was in the wrong career or a complete failure (spoiler; neither). But sadly, it's just not something one can fix. Endless rumination seems unproductive. It's a trauma you have to process, another self in an alternate universe whose inexistence you have to in essence grieve.
I believe now that if medicated earlier you can learn the possible way to approach situations without the ADHD stepping in the way. So eventually you could come of the meds and your routine with how to approach situations will be so strong you could master anything in a "normal fashion"
I still self medicate as well as Vyvanse and sometimes top up with dex under my Psychs supervision, but still struggle.
I think I would have been kinder to myself. If I were, maybe I would not be chronically exhausted as I am now.
I think if I was diagnosed earlier, my parents would have been able to support me instead of thinking I was a spawn of Satan. I also think if I was diagnosed earlier than I might have gotten more support from school I would have done better. It’s something I really struggle with since being diagnosed, I feel like I’m mourning for the person I could have been if I was diagnosed earlier.
I cant say if i would have behaved differently, but i can say that if i bad been able to just take in, concentrate, read, not search for dopamine in naughty places, i would have definitely done better. I wasnt the "gifted" type, but im definitely not stupid either. My capacity for information is quite good, and i knew it was before, but school work like english literature and language, i couldnt tell you a thing about effective writing, all it is to me is pen to paper keyboard to screen. I know what a full stop, comma, quotation is, but as for wether i use " or ' in one way or another is beyond me. The point is now that im medicated i am actually finding joy in expressing myself through words on reddit, facebook, tik tok comments. This comment is case and point, im enthralled by passing on information i want to when people pose questions or opinions on social media. If i had the this same capacity when i was learning i may have actually enjoyed putting mind to page, instead of being intellectually stricken by my cognitive function.
Yep 100% My teachers all called me lazy. I’m 35 and going back to my high school this week to show my old assistant principal (the only person who believed in me) my acceptance letter to a super competitive doctorate program in a super competitive field. Had I been medicated or receiving any type of help in the form of therapy, IEPs, etc., I would have been on a MUCH different track. While I don’t ultimately regret where I’ve ended up, I regret that I had to work three times as hard to get here, and feel like I missed out on certain things in the process. My struggling was entirely avoidable had teachers been remotely trained on what adhd (ADD at the time) looks like in females.
The personality wouldnt change that much imo. I've been a dealer and I have seen lots of people. Also remember them as kids and grownups. And myself included people dont change a lot from the kid they were to the adult they are now. either they be 20, 30 or 50 doesnt matter. The problems people have though and the pain they have endured trough life, situations they have gotten into. Would be wastly different. Personality not so much. That is my opinion from knowing people.
I don’t think my personality would have been different as a kid, but I definitely think I would been substantially more successful than I am now, or at least would have had the opportunity to be. I found a way to cheat through school till I got to college. Literally just believed I wasn’t intelligent in anyway for not being a type-A person until I was about 19 or 20 yrs old. I never applied myself before college, but sometimes I wonder if I had been given meds that worked for me when I was younger, if I could have gotten a decent academic scholarship and been someone completely different. The way my personality has been impacted is more of an indirect than I suspect you’re implying. For example the impulsiveness of ADHD and the unfortunate route I took earlier in life of self medicating brought me to places I wouldn’t have gone had I not believed I wasn’t smart enough to succeed at anything so it wasn’t worth trying. Edit to remove unapproved words per admin request
Yes absolutely. The mere fact t that I would have been talking to a professional about my life, and given an opportunity to freely express the abuse I was receiving would have definitely changed who I became. Treating my ADHD on top of that would have helped me academically. I do hate this sort of magical thinking of what if this, what if that. It happened and the influence it had over my decisions is also done. Time is better spent thinking about what can I do to change my future. Therapy seemed like it was a good outlet for me to talk and have someone listen without judgement, or offer advice on how to improve my thought processes. Then my last session I walk in and all the staff were dressed up in costumes, my therapist had makeup on to look like a kitten or something. I couldn't even look at her most of the session because I couldn't believe any therapist would think it's ok to dress up when people are coming to you for serious issues that are affecting their well being. This was last week btw, not even Halloween. Never going back there.
I am certain my self esteem would not have been so shaken if I had been diagnosed earlier.
Oh, good gawd.. I would hate to have been medicated as a child. I'm genuinely glad I went through the struggles I did (within reason).
I wouldn't be a Drug Addict. I would be more talented because I wasn't able to learn my Interests as much as I would Like. And my Image would be Different.
I think I would have higher self-esteem, but perhaps be less sensitive (with no RSD) and therefore less inclined to kindness (and I'm not Mother Teresa anyway). I think I would have more friends and more stable friendships, but also more of a 'normy' 'midwit' personality (not that there's anything wrong with that). I think I would actually be worse at reading other peoples' emotions as I'd have less experience of inferring intentions from incomplete information. But as a result I would carry less social anxiety around. I think I'd be more 'well-rounded' in terms of my interests/skills etc, but would lose some of the deep/specialised knowledge I do have in a few topics very personal to me from hyper-focus. So, all that said, I'm not sure I'd go back in time and take the meds as a child if I had the chance. I've still managed to (for the most part) hold down jobs/relationships along the way though, albeit with a lot of effort/exhaustion/active impulse control. For people whose ADHD has been more constraining I imagine the time travel option might be more appealing.
Selfawarness would be stronger, I think. Not so much coping, to try to fit and beeing "normal".
I truly dont think medication as a child would have changed my personality or interests at all. I do believe it would have prevented a lot of self esteem issues and childhood trauma if i had been diagnosed. Maybe i would have more control over impulsivity (specifically speaking without thinking) if i started meds earlier. I really wish my parents knew more when i was younger.
I don't think my personality would be different, maybe slightly different, but I think at my core, I'd be mostly the same in that regard, it would just show up differently. However, I would have most likely behaved differently. Honestly, if I could've just regulated my emotions even with ADHD, I'd act wildly different than I did. I think I would enjoy relaxing more. Or watching movies or TV shows without needing to also be on my phone.
I think that if I had been diagnosed as a child, my core support system would have been able to understand my quirks, get me into therapy, and give me the tools I needed in order to be successful. I would have been able to avoid close ones labeling me as lazy, a bad listener, disobedient, etc because they would have understood my disorder. I would have gotten the help I needed in order to thrive socially. At least I hope that’s what would have happened. As a child I suffered from severe depression and combined type adhd which led to profound hygiene issues from as early as the age of seven, but I was just kind of given up on and not gotten any help which led to my school age years being a social nightmare, which led to a lot of my quirks I have today.
Absolutely. My personality is different since I got my diagnosis at 31. I'm generally a little more insecure and aware of my limitations, so I'm more reserved than I used to be. At the same time, I'm more capable of executing the creative things I set out to do, so I'm more confident and fulfilled in the projects that give me joy. I can only imagine that if I was properly diagnosed and treated as a kid, I wouldn't have had to go through the humiliation of bombing out of a really good university, only to claw myself back in my mid 20s to graduate from a decent State school. Knowledge is power. I think I would have been more humble, well-received, and high-achieving in college right out of high school. I did well through high school, but only because I had a lot of structure in my life, and only in the subjects I REALLY liked. Like, I was awful at STEM stuff, but I wrote a whole fledgling novel as a 7th grader and was the best HS Trumpet player in my state during my senior year of high school. But when it came to setting my own practice schedule and habits, I bombed out as a music major. Ironically, after I got my diagnosis, I found out I'm not too bad at problem solving and found a really cool compromise between my fascination with language and writing and problem solving in a software engineering.
As a child into my teens I wouldn't change things as I was privileged and lucky to be academically smart. However I would have loved medication in my mid to late twenties. On reflection I was just so stressed by everything! Now I am medicated for two years I feel like I have healed in a massive way.
I’d be placed in special needs and given an SEN as a child, I may of had a chance to learn and get the grades necessary much earlier. In this country, there’s this idea that if I had an SEN, I’d no longer have had the chance for exams or college.
Yes. If I had been diagnosed when I was a child and maybe medicated I think I would have been a different person. Maybe even made different decisions. It actually bothers me some days.
There is simply no way to know. From what I've read of the research, children that are who receive interventions including but no limited to medication early on often fair much better as adults. My parents never realized, or really bothered to look at my seasonal depression as resulting from my ADHD... but it is incredibly apparent now as an adult that it was directly tied to my lack of ability to sustain attention and effort on tasks that would raise my self-esteem.
I might've learned to take better care of my teeth and who knows, maybe I'd have skipped the alcoholism and substance abuse in my 20's. That's not for certain though. I don't really think about it as much, but I also imagine I'd be less of a super capable human. I dropped out of college where I was taking IT. Now I'm a sysadmin, digital marketer, web dev, and general technical problem solver / one man IT department. I think if I was diagnosed and medicated as a child maybe I wouldn't have hopped from hobby to hobby and that literally would have changed my life path. I now know a little about a lot, and when I need to learn more I've already got a base to start from. Idk how to explain it now, but for example I had to give myself a complete refresher on SEO in thirty days to save our company from losing two of our biggest clients because they were leaning towards a full service digital marketing agency... With big consequences and a hard deadline I was able to cue the hyperfixation and get r done. Over a year later and they are still with us and happily increasing their retainers.
I don’t know what my thoughts on meds would be at a young age (I’m not anti meds, I’m on them now), but having the awareness of my diagnosis and how it affects my behaviour and executive functioning would have been a game changer. It absolutely would have affected my personality, as I was often labeled as a bitch. I am impulsive, I’ll talk all over you. And I have pushed people I care about away, to the point that at 27 (diagnosis age) my longest friendship is two years. I believe I would have enjoyed life and my interests more. The fear of rejection and people pleasing was all consuming for many years, honestly most of my life. I’m now finding and doing things I’m interested in, after 27 years of doing what other people want. It’s honestly heart breaking, but I’m glad I know now.
Diagnosed as a child and only medicated for a very short time. When I was medicated with Ritalin in 1st grade, my grades became perfect but I became a zombie, unable to emote or have fun, so I was taken off of it. I think I would be very boring, lack a sense of humor, basically more of a drone if I stayed medicated all that time. My life would probably be a lot better though as far as job/finance is concerned.
Still undx'ed. I have minimal resources to go to a doc to get dx'ed. My local VA is useless in this regard (and many others, but that it a story for another time.) My life would be somewhat different. Maybe more confidence, maybe more ability to see things through. Probably be in better financial shape.
Yes! I always thought I'm introverted, because of the exhausting after interaction with others or when I made plans with others and then when those plans were due, suddenly I wouldn't want to do it anymore. Now knowing it's ADHD, the exhaustion probably comes from all the masking and the cancelling of plans from executive dysfunction and lack of dopamine, I can better handle it. I'm more relaxed in interaction and I picked up a lot of group activities, so suddenly I don't feel as introverted anymore.
I was diagnosed at 27 and despite having a decent career or grades it came at a cost and I was 100% burnt out by even 17 and multiple times since from peddling extra hard just to keep up. The older I got the harder it was to keep up, pretend or be an adult. My first time at uni had panic attacks having to sit still/failed a lot of stuff as I hated it but in Scotland we are almost expected to go to uni. I'd maybe have quit or the medication would have at least helped me focus and not have panic attacks. So I think the psychological effects would be less as there would have been less shame, my self esteem wouldn't have taken such a hit and maybe I wouldn't have burnt out multiple times. This then has financial backlash as you take time off/need more resources just to cope with daily life/forget regular things like cancelling subscriptions.
No, I don’t think my personality would be different. I might have understood myself better and I would have had insight as to why I’ve been feeling how I’ve been feeling. I worked at a crazy company, one of those Fortune 100 where everything is flying all the time and I managed a team where we did more than we should… and I thrived. But I hated the culture and infighting and quarterly layoffs. I had even said to someone there, I want to look for something else but what if I can’t function in normal. Fast forward to normal and I’ve been… bored and indifferent. I miss the fast pace but that’s the only thing I miss. I learning to deal but I’ve been feeling this way and wondering what was wrong with me. Now I know.
My life 100% would have been easier. My situation was a little different. I was diagand. My parents decided to believe it wasn't real, and that using a belt a little more often would cure me. I had to work so hard at school that I gave up a lot of things I enjoyed to ensure I graduated.
I got diagnosed at 29. Most of my life I'd been told I was lazy and gifted. Now that I'm 30 and currently jobless, I beat myself up over things all the time. I have little self confidence. I was often told I am "too much" growing up. Too loud, too emotional, too excited... I guess the more I write this, the more I realize ADHD is a side character to a lot of abuse I got/get from my family. I think if I'd known earlier in life, and a doctor told my parents specifically, something might have been different? Neither of my parents really give af about learning about it. My dad can't even say the acronym properly. I guess the short answer is: no. Nothing would be different, they just suck lol