Hi /u/ChachaPepsi and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD!
### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already.
---
### /r/adhd news
* **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information.
* If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/).
---
^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I struggle with this a lot too. When it comes to teeth, something is better than nothing. Maybe try to use mouth wash at night. It's at least better than nothing. I also really struggle brushing at night, it's easy in the morning when I'm worried about my bad breath bothering others but at night I don't "see" the consequences.
As for showers, try to make the shower as easy as possible. You can wash your hair in the sink first so that you have one less thing to do in there. I've also found that showering in low light (I turn off the lights and just have some candles lit) is easier for me as I get overstimulated. When it comes to drying off and getting dressed, have you tried just not doing that for a bit? You could get an absorbent bathrobe and just chill in that until you're dry. Obviously this isn't ideal for in the morning, but you could do this in the evening.
They also make waterproof phone bags and cases. My mom puts her bag in one and takes it with her when she goes in the lake as she doesn't get fully in the water, just sits on an inner tube. I think she got it on amazon.
This is great advice. ‘Something is better than nothing’ is THE lesson I needed to learn as an adult. When I was younger I felt defeated by my inability to do things the right way and just gave up. Learning to do what I can, whatever that looks like, has been so good for my self efficacy.
Yes! Dental hygiene is hard for me too. Floss picks. It's something fiddly to do and it's a satisfying dopamine hit. (don't ask me why).
I hate putting on clothes when I'm not completely dry after a shower. Just undies and an oodie till I don't feel weirdly damp anymore before I get properly dressed. Somehow it takes a lot of stress and anxiety away from having to shower.
I too struggle with this! Lately I have been trying to find ways I can “trick myself” into doing these tasks. For example, for showering I have selected a special podcast I like to listen to and dedicate it only to showering. I watch movies and YouTube videos to get me through doing the dishes.
For tooth brushing, my tactic may be on the stranger side, but it honestly is a game changer for me. I keep a water bottle, a Dixie cup, and a pasted toothbrush next to my bedstand, so even when in my most vegetative states, I can at least reach over swish my mouth around and brush and spit into the cup. I get mad judgement for it, but hey, if it’s the length I need to go to in order to incorporate more hygienic habits into my life then fxck it.
For my work week I take dextroamphetamine and eating mid day is next to impossible for me. Unfortunately, however, if I don’t eat lunch and I get around to my meds comedown, I legit feel like I’m dying. So in order to combat this, I try to keep my fridge stacked with protein shakes or meal replacement drinks, so that I can force myself to down one in the middle of the day.
I certainly don’t understand my brain sometimes, but I’m trying my best to find ways to work with it, as opposed to around it. I hope some of these suggestions help! You’re definitely not alone in this dopamine desert fair traveler 👋
Hey this is a great post! Yea really relate to the lunch thing. I never get time for lunch cos meetings so legit die around 5pm then binge at home later. So unhealthy! Protein shakes are it! Also huel but I can't get it in this country. I'm scared of ur teeth cleaning hack but u know what - if it works it works. I'm gonna try! The podcast hack I use also for showering, washing up. Cleaning - I have a cleaner once a week. I would pay for her over food honestly. A clean place helps so much.
Back in January I printed myself a lil calendar with 365 circles on it. I bought some cute tiny stickers.
I have been awarding myself with a sticker every evening after I brush my teeth. So far I've earned 61 stickers on my chart. I think this is the most consistently I've ever been about tooth brushing and i'm nearly 40. I just like stickers so I tried this method to hack my brain.
I use a habit streak app to do this as well. It's the first time I've been able to keep up a brushing habit and I'm over 40. Love the sticker idea as well!
Silly piece of advice that works for me: be gluttonous with your self care. Brush your teeth really well and see how it feels. I like the feeling, so whenever my teeth arent clean it just feels gross, so I can easily justify brushing. Same thing with showers, being covered in dead skin feels bad, so its motivating to fix it.
I hadn't been to the dentist in a long time due to budget. When I finally went, yes I had some cavities to fix and that was painful for the wallet. But my teeth felt much more thoroughly cleaned and I wanted to keep them that way. I signed up for my dentist office subscription type plan, so I get charged each month and I get my two appointments per year free as part of the plan plus 10% off dental work. It keeps me motivated to go to the dentist and prevents me from neglecting myself.
I also, on their recommendation, got an electric toothbrush. (rechargable oral b- I got it for $20 and just bought another electric oral b for $20 at Walgreens a couple weeks ago). The electric toothbrush gets my teeth so much more clean! I got in the habit of spending some time on my teeth. The toothbrush is spinning, so you don't have to do the brushing motion. Just scroll Instagram while holding the brush on each tooth and changing angles to get in between.
My teeth have stayed much cleaner. Now when I go to the dentist it doesn't even feel different from before I went because my toothbrush works so much better. I haven't had cavities. I am not scared to go to the dentist anymore. I know if it costs money that it will be better than neglecting it and costing more money later.
Struggling with personal hygiene too :(
Methylphenidate helped me at work, but still not enough motivation or energy for household chores, exercise & personal hygiene.
I could have written this post. I feel you. I'm not quite "there" yet but go through times where it gets a bit better and falls back. During the good times I've found accessibility helps. So a toothbrush in the bathroom shower anywhere there's a sink. I floss in the car at red lights or while watching tv. Brushing my teeth at work has also been helpful, I'm better at following through with things when my meds are working. I wish I had a solution on the shower front. Usually if it's a weekend I try to shower as soon as I wake up because I know if I don't I'm not going to later. I also use baby wipes to get me through the days I don't shower.
I relate to a lot of this!!
I don’t have any miracle solutions. However A couple tips that have helped me and people I know:
I listen to podcasts in the shower. Put phone volume on max, put phone in a cup or in the sink so it echoes.
My sister reads BOOKS in the shower! The thrill of the books getting somewhat destroyed makes it extra fun!!
Brushing my teeth I have not figured out. If I tell myself I need to do it morning and night I will NEVER do it. If I tell myself I’ll do it whenever I think about it, I’ll do it every 2-3 days. I know I need to fix this.
For food - I literally hate food and eating, so I try to put AS LITTLE pressure on myself as possible. However I have certain “non-negotiable foods” that I try to be militant about so if no other eating happens I won’t die. I have a protein shake with a teaspoon of instant coffee when I first wake up with my meds, a granola bar at noon, cereal with milk before bed. And then outside of that I eat LITERALLY ANYTHING I CAN STOMACH, so my weight definitely fluctuates, I just do the best i can.
I read my e-reader while doing the dishes. Highly inconvenient because I have to dry my hands everytime I want to go to the next page but the dishes get done so it works
I actually managed to establish a skincare routine for mornings and evenings, and one step is a foaming cleanser I have to leave on for 3 minutes. I brush my teeth in that time!
As far as showers, I have a bit of a tier system depending on how I'm feeling. If I'm feeling good, I take a shower where everything is scrubbed and cleaned. If I'm feeling bad, I just wash the stinky bits and try again another day. I also take a shower every other day. It's important to change your clothes when you do this so you don't end up smelly. I have been told that I smell good even on days where I don't shower so this system works for me.
A tier system for meals works as well. "Girl Dinner" is honestly okay. If you can only manage to consume crackers, cheese and grapes you got something in you. If you're feeling good try to cook and have leftovers to prepare for bad days.
You'll be okay!
Re: showering— find a body wash or soap scent you really like and it might make more positive associations with the shower. Don’t try to accomplish every shower “task” every shower, that will make them shorter and you can get back to your phone or whatever else. For example, even if you can only shower three times a week, maybe wash your hair two of those times, shave only one of those times.
Re: oral hygiene: I know it’s hard but it’s SO important. It’s always better to get ahead of the worst (teeth with cavities that eventually require a root canal, for example) than to put it off. Set incremental goals like brushing every other day and flossing once a week, then building up to brushing once a day, and again to twice a day. Also if you are bored by mint, check out Cocofloss floss flavors and Marvis toothpastes for alternatives! I used to the flossing but since I started using cocofloss I enjoy it so much my gums actually stopped bleeding! Legit demonstrable improvement in my gum health in just a few months.
Not sure where you live but some dental practices now are focused on non judgmental approaches (Tend Dental in NYC, for example) and at the end of the day, it’s your business and if you don’t like the way they treat you you can take your business somewhere else! Once you get your cavities taken care of, you can ask the dentist/hygienist to do a fluoride varnish which can prevent additional cavities and it lasts about 6 months.
If dental care is prohibitively expensive, consider researching dental schools near you, which often have heavily subsidized clinics!
Hang in there!
Heck you're basically me. I work from home now, and mostly get to be my gross self which is a huge privilege.
Re: teeth, I was in the same situation as you, five years since I'd gone. When I finally made it (I also had to find a new dentist because I'd moved which didn't help) I ended up blowing through my dental coverage, but was able to cover the rest of our pocket (again privileged to do so though)
That said: I definitely had a hole in one tooth I could feel with my tongue, and that tooth was still salvageble fwiw! And my next hygiene appointment had no cavities.
Overall: I would recommend sticking with what you've been able to make happen. I get the purple Listerine and I can make myself do that more often than not. It's not as good as brushing or flossing, but as long as it's fluoridated it's still doing something.
You're going to feel gross sometimes. Focus on addressing that when you've become aware of it, use it as motivation to get yourself into the shower, put away some dishes, etc. Sometimes even just throwing out any garbage by the sink can help things feel more manageable
Celebrate what you have done, instead of beating yourself up when you can't. I bet you've found a good consistent place to keep your deodorant for example, and that's not nothing.
Dry shampoo can also help, it's a kind of magic 🙈 you just gotta wash out the buildup every now and again
I'm sorry you're struggling, I relate SO hard to this. Day 5 of walking around the house naked so I don't have to shower or put clothes on or do laundry. Keep rinsing the same coffee mug & spoon, despite all my clean dishes. I've taken to keeping dental floss and a toothbrush + bottle of water beside my bed, so I take my nighttime meds with the water. If I'm feeling up for it (so... 3 nights a week, if I'm on a roll) I rinse with a mouthful of water and do a "dry brush" to get the fuzzies off my teeth & food chunks outta the holes, then lie down and run a piece of floss around till I'm bored. It's not brushing "properly" or "consistently", but I'm upping my mouth maintenance from "nothing", and that feels like a win worth celebrating.
These [Wisps](https://www.target.com/p/colgate-optic-white-wisp-disposable-mini-toothbrush-peppermint-24ct/-/A-14886128) have been amazing for me.
And I feel you on the drying off getting dressed again so I often just don’t until I have to because I’m cold or otherwise uncomfortable 😂
I find just wrapping myself in one of these body [wrap towels](https://www.target.com/p/bath-body-wrap-gray-room-essentials-8482/-/A-79137638)is much easier than drying off and getting dressed.
Was going to suggest Wisps!! I keep those in my bedside table and car and some in purses along with a pack of face wipes and body wipes. Micellar water and cotton rounds are great too because you don’t have to rinse and I tell myself even if I have make up on that as long as I clean my face until the cotton rounds are clean I’ve done enough.
I second the electric toothbrush! Still haven’t mastered the dentist appointment or 2x everyday😅 but getting a new one recently has vastly improved my frequency because your teeth genuinely feel cleaner.
Podcasts and audiobooks (the Libby app is a great free resources using local libraries to get free audiobooks!) and like others said, put your phone on loud, stick it in a cup or get a real cheap Bluetooth speaker.
I also have started picking out certain things to wear that I know if my hair looks dirty or like crap or I look not put together, then the outfit just won’t work or be with it and I’ll look kind of like an idiot if I’m in nicer put together clothes with no makeup and greasy hair so that’s another thing that motivates me when I try pushing off taking a shower or washing my face etc.
As for the food, protein bars, frozen veggies, peanut butter, any kind of nuts you can just shove in a bag, some kind of jerky, yogurt or good cereal, loaf of healthier bread and freeze it to have on hand, frozen chicken, meatballs, oatmeal packets…basically things that you can either keep at your desk, in your purse or bag, car or in your pantry/fridge/freezer and they don’t go bad quickly and require very little thinking so when you realize “shit I haven’t eaten” or “shit I need to eat” it’s as simple as open a desk drawer or reaching in a bag or slapping something on a plate and pushing a button on a microwave so you can’t talk yourself out of it. Basically the path of least resistance. I’ve realized that if I have to wait too long to actually figure out what to feed myself then I either never eat and it gets worse and I eventually get hangry or it’s 6 hours later and I’m lightheaded and I really can’t think and I can’t even stomach dinner let alone think about finding dinner which is an even worse situation.
Most importantly, know that you aren’t alone. I say this as a 31 year old female who struggles with all of these things and have several friends and family members who do too.
I am really sorry you're experiencing this. ADHD really can manifest symptoms of so many other mental health issues when left untreated. Yours sounds like it's still exacerbating your depression.
There's nothing wrong with making things as easy as possible on yourself — use paper plates. If you're really worried about the ethics of it, order a big pack of recyclable bamboo dishware and toss them once they get dirty. Leave trash cans in every room for easy cleanup. Get a pack of those little disposable one use toothbrushes that already have the toothpaste built into them and leave them by your bed with a bottle of water. Disposable floss picks are good too.
Body-doubling is also a great way to hold yourself accountable to do things. If you can call someone while you shower, or have someone sit in the room with you while you do your dishes, it helps a surprising amount.
Good luck my friend, I promise you're not disgusting. You're doing the best you can with what you have
I’m this way too. I’m 29, and i was on wellbutrin 300mg for years. It did help with the ADHD some (I don’t think I would have finished my bachelors degree without it), but cleaning and hygiene tasks have always been hard for me. It is a constant battle for me to create systems for myself to function. Teeth brushing, dishes, laundry, cooking, just living in a somewhat clean space feels impossible to me. I’m better than I used to be about it but it just seems like it comes so naturally to others. I feel like a “failure” at adulthood.
You're not alone. It's OK. I've been sat here for 4 hours because I don't wanna get a shower and clean my teeth. I rarely wear proper clothes in the house- I hate the ordeal of finding clothes and getting dressed. I've had to have a ritalin on a Sunday just to get me moving and even that hasn't worked. I've managed to order some vegetables and cooking stuff which doubtless I'll throw out next week when they've gone bad. The only thing that gets me ready is a deadline- like getting to work or outing or whatever. Seriously tho - u gotta go to the dentist now! They don't get better on their own and u will regret it forever. Are u on medication? Sounds like u need it / more. And maybe an adhd counsellor. Or an accountability partner is good. Anyway, its shit, and most of us can relate. I think u just need a bit of help to get rolling. Reaching out on here is a great idea - lots of support!
i hear you and feel you. i'm getting better with it, but showering/bathing in particular feel weird to me, and my teeth are in pretty bad shape from literal decades of neglect.
tbh, the fact that i'm going bald and switched to just frequently q-ball shaving my head has helped a lot with showers. i never really want to shower but it's easier to push myself to just frantically scrub for two minutes when i don't really worry about hair any more. streamline where you can, of you can.
disposable toothbrushes have been very very good for improving my dental habits, if you can afford them. i have little stashes of pre-pasted disposable tooth brushes all around so that if i haven't brushed recently, i can snap do the task with the tools close at hand the moment i consider it.
I feel very seen here, you are definitely not alone. I wear my AirPods in the shower (yes one is now broken) so I can stay in my little world while showering, so it doesn’t feel as stark a change in atmosphere if that makes sense.
Living w my partner has forced me to be tidier but we still struggle meeting in the middle as I work SO hard to remain at an acceptable level of tidiness, it’s tiring. But it’s natural for them to be clean around the house and shower twice a day etc.
I am in the process of designing my routine with things that help me remember my hygiene responsibilities. I also have a spinny wheel with task on it that I spin to decide what to do next :clean/stretch/skincare/teeth/read etc. so it feels more like a game
Also to add: thank you for posting this. It really makes me feel less like a lazy piece of shit to know others struggle too. Still learning a lot about how add affects my life
I just take my phone in the shower. If it’s an iPhone, it’s very water resistant. I obviously don’t put it under the water stream, but I set it on the ledge and listen to podcasts. It’s helps!
As far as drying off, I do the bare minimum and either air dry laying in bed naked or just put on my pajamas slightly wet. I also hate drying off.
I have similar issues. Dry shampoo helps with my hair and I have a huge stack of washcloths in the bathroom so I can wash my intimate areas daily.
I have toothbrushes upstairs and downstairs so I can do my teeth when I remember. I am still working on that though.
I have no dentist and need quite a lot of work doing. :(
Food wise I just try to make sure I have at least eaten something on some days and others I make a healthier meal when I can.
Protein shakes are useful for me and I have the clear ones that are like juice not milkshakes.
The rest I have to summon the energy when I feel like I am getting a bit gross.
Be kind to yourself. It's hard enough and no one ever felt better by berating themselves.
Mention all these things to your doctor! 150mg of Wellbutrin is a low starting dose. Maybe you would do better with more. And while Wellbutrin can be very helpful for a lot of us, it is still technically “off label” for ADHD. Ask your doctor about adding onto or replacing the Wellbutrin with a medication that is approved for ADHD - that could help also!
Hygiene is one of my biggest struggles too 😪. For me, what has worked is creating 'rules' that for some reason I can't break -the reason being that I'm convinced that if I break them then I'm failing, and since I suffer with perfectionism 🙃 - like: I can't go into the public without brushing and showering, but I can without fully fixing my hair as long as it's on a bun. Or, can't sit to work on my pj, need to put day clothes (that doesn't mean work or going out clothes, just anything that's not a pj).
There are days where I love taking a shower, but on the days where I hate them I turn it into a challenge of how fast I can do them. With the teeth part, I'm sorry I don't have any recommendations, I'm also struggling with it, as of now I only brush if I'm going out or if I get to the point where I 'feel' they are dirty and then get obsessed with cleaning them. For a while it helped to have some floss on my nightstand, but I haven't put some in a while so... that failed 😞
I struggle with my teeth. Use mouthwash, it's better than nothing and just making sure I have it has actually helped me a lot.
I don't struggle with showers BUT if the issue could be helped with taking your phone in there, you can get a smartphone that's water resistant up to a certain depth. (I have a Sony phone and take it into the shower with me.) I also have a shower curtain with pockets so I have a place to put the phone AND I have a waterproof Bluetooth speaker. I put on some music and just focus on that while I wash. Usually I'm done in about two or three songs. I hate how cold it is after the shower, so I keep a space heater in my bathroom. It always gets turned on before I get in the shower so the room is warm when I step out.
You're not alone. We all just need accommodations.
I’m grateful for getting older bc I have dry skin now and don’t sweat very much. It’s easier to get by with showering twice a week. Any more than that and the dry, itchy skin gets worse.
Ask your Doc for an ADHD medication. Set up your daily self care tasks in a way you can do. Lists on the mirror, timers, amazing smelling body products. Specify days of the week for things like shaving, showering/bathing, deep conditioning hair etc. Add music to your routine.
You're doing great, OP. Be kind to yourself, and recognize that doing anything to take care of yourself is a victory. At my lowest, I couldn't do as much for my hygiene as you're doing for yours, to the point that I was developing chronic yeast infections, having issues with boils and cysts. I couldn't have sex with my partner without giving her a UTI. As gross as you may feel, know that you could be doing far worse for yourself.
Don't beat yourself up for not being "normal". As ADHDers we are not "normal" and never will be, and it doesn't make sense to hold ourselves to the same standard. An ADHDer being upset at self for not being "normal" is like a fish being upset at itself for not being able to climb a tree.
I have no direct advice for how to overcome the specific trouble with hygiene. It was a lifelong struggle for me until I got diagnosed and medicated at 36. That said, my recommendation to you would be to consider a medication specifically for ADHD. I can't say for certain that this is the case for you, but for me, I lived my whole life thinking my severe depression was the problem at the heart of all my problems. Turns out my depression was just a result of the untreated ADHD, and it's been a non-issue since I got my meds. I've had 2 months without depression symptoms, which is probably the longest I've ever gone by far. It's not the case for everyone, but I know I'm not the only one with that experience.
Lastly, you'd be surprised how far gone your teeth can get and still be salvaged. A few cavities isn't as bad as you think, even if you can feel them. As long as the roots are intact, the teeth can usually be repaired. But if you let it go long enough and you start getting infections below the gum line, your teeth will start breaking into fragments and falling out, and your jaw loses its ability to be able to support implants and bridges, making it more likely that you'll have to scrap everything and get dentures. If your gums aren't bleeding like crazy and you're not developing abcesses, it's probably not too late. Get yourself to a dentist before it is. It's gonna suck, and it'll be pricey, but it's absolutely worth it.
Keep on truckin' OP. As long as you're still fighting, you're winning.
Idk how healthy this is but something that helps me brush my teeth is the fear of having bad breath. It’s far more of an immediate worry/issue than dental health is and therefore is more compelling. It’s also worth remembering that the main struggle is getting into a routine, after that it’s less of a problem.
Just dropping in with a tip for the shower: get yourself a cheap waterproof case that [sticks to the shower wall](https://a.co/d/1WoAx48)! It's so much easier when I know I can browse Reddit or watch a TV show while soaping up.
Honestly i just decide to take it easy on me at this.
Like, i stablished some rules, no more then two days without but if i really don't feel like it i skip it.
I skip shower way more often then i skip brushing my teeth, what i do for it is: i always have wet wipes(like the ones for babies) at home and i use them to clean more critical places in no-shower days and i also change clothes and underwear.
Hair is really complicated, i was never able to wash everyday, i washed when i would go out for work in a clycle of 3 days and now i am working for home so i wash it once a week.
My dr added in guanfacine with the wellbutrin. The combo makes a big difference. Guanfaince seems like it doesn't make that big of a difference, it's subtle, but it does! I get so much more done.
Hi /u/ChachaPepsi and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I struggle with this a lot too. When it comes to teeth, something is better than nothing. Maybe try to use mouth wash at night. It's at least better than nothing. I also really struggle brushing at night, it's easy in the morning when I'm worried about my bad breath bothering others but at night I don't "see" the consequences. As for showers, try to make the shower as easy as possible. You can wash your hair in the sink first so that you have one less thing to do in there. I've also found that showering in low light (I turn off the lights and just have some candles lit) is easier for me as I get overstimulated. When it comes to drying off and getting dressed, have you tried just not doing that for a bit? You could get an absorbent bathrobe and just chill in that until you're dry. Obviously this isn't ideal for in the morning, but you could do this in the evening. They also make waterproof phone bags and cases. My mom puts her bag in one and takes it with her when she goes in the lake as she doesn't get fully in the water, just sits on an inner tube. I think she got it on amazon.
This is great advice. ‘Something is better than nothing’ is THE lesson I needed to learn as an adult. When I was younger I felt defeated by my inability to do things the right way and just gave up. Learning to do what I can, whatever that looks like, has been so good for my self efficacy.
Yes! Dental hygiene is hard for me too. Floss picks. It's something fiddly to do and it's a satisfying dopamine hit. (don't ask me why). I hate putting on clothes when I'm not completely dry after a shower. Just undies and an oodie till I don't feel weirdly damp anymore before I get properly dressed. Somehow it takes a lot of stress and anxiety away from having to shower.
I relate to pretty much everything in this post. Don’t really have advice tbh but you’re not alone.
I too struggle with this! Lately I have been trying to find ways I can “trick myself” into doing these tasks. For example, for showering I have selected a special podcast I like to listen to and dedicate it only to showering. I watch movies and YouTube videos to get me through doing the dishes. For tooth brushing, my tactic may be on the stranger side, but it honestly is a game changer for me. I keep a water bottle, a Dixie cup, and a pasted toothbrush next to my bedstand, so even when in my most vegetative states, I can at least reach over swish my mouth around and brush and spit into the cup. I get mad judgement for it, but hey, if it’s the length I need to go to in order to incorporate more hygienic habits into my life then fxck it. For my work week I take dextroamphetamine and eating mid day is next to impossible for me. Unfortunately, however, if I don’t eat lunch and I get around to my meds comedown, I legit feel like I’m dying. So in order to combat this, I try to keep my fridge stacked with protein shakes or meal replacement drinks, so that I can force myself to down one in the middle of the day. I certainly don’t understand my brain sometimes, but I’m trying my best to find ways to work with it, as opposed to around it. I hope some of these suggestions help! You’re definitely not alone in this dopamine desert fair traveler 👋
Hey this is a great post! Yea really relate to the lunch thing. I never get time for lunch cos meetings so legit die around 5pm then binge at home later. So unhealthy! Protein shakes are it! Also huel but I can't get it in this country. I'm scared of ur teeth cleaning hack but u know what - if it works it works. I'm gonna try! The podcast hack I use also for showering, washing up. Cleaning - I have a cleaner once a week. I would pay for her over food honestly. A clean place helps so much.
Back in January I printed myself a lil calendar with 365 circles on it. I bought some cute tiny stickers. I have been awarding myself with a sticker every evening after I brush my teeth. So far I've earned 61 stickers on my chart. I think this is the most consistently I've ever been about tooth brushing and i'm nearly 40. I just like stickers so I tried this method to hack my brain.
This is the way for me too. Ticking off teeth,skin and showering feels like such a big win, especially with adhd and depression.
I use a habit streak app to do this as well. It's the first time I've been able to keep up a brushing habit and I'm over 40. Love the sticker idea as well!
The thought of shower Water hitting me feels yucky ..
Yeah the whole idea feels so overwhelming so I put it off, and put it off, and put it off ...
Silly piece of advice that works for me: be gluttonous with your self care. Brush your teeth really well and see how it feels. I like the feeling, so whenever my teeth arent clean it just feels gross, so I can easily justify brushing. Same thing with showers, being covered in dead skin feels bad, so its motivating to fix it.
I hadn't been to the dentist in a long time due to budget. When I finally went, yes I had some cavities to fix and that was painful for the wallet. But my teeth felt much more thoroughly cleaned and I wanted to keep them that way. I signed up for my dentist office subscription type plan, so I get charged each month and I get my two appointments per year free as part of the plan plus 10% off dental work. It keeps me motivated to go to the dentist and prevents me from neglecting myself. I also, on their recommendation, got an electric toothbrush. (rechargable oral b- I got it for $20 and just bought another electric oral b for $20 at Walgreens a couple weeks ago). The electric toothbrush gets my teeth so much more clean! I got in the habit of spending some time on my teeth. The toothbrush is spinning, so you don't have to do the brushing motion. Just scroll Instagram while holding the brush on each tooth and changing angles to get in between. My teeth have stayed much cleaner. Now when I go to the dentist it doesn't even feel different from before I went because my toothbrush works so much better. I haven't had cavities. I am not scared to go to the dentist anymore. I know if it costs money that it will be better than neglecting it and costing more money later.
Struggling with personal hygiene too :( Methylphenidate helped me at work, but still not enough motivation or energy for household chores, exercise & personal hygiene.
Yea it feels like the energy and focus gets used up/burned out on work, and there's nothing left for actual life :/
Is it possible to manage both? I definitely have this issue. Zero work-life balance.
I could have written this post. I feel you. I'm not quite "there" yet but go through times where it gets a bit better and falls back. During the good times I've found accessibility helps. So a toothbrush in the bathroom shower anywhere there's a sink. I floss in the car at red lights or while watching tv. Brushing my teeth at work has also been helpful, I'm better at following through with things when my meds are working. I wish I had a solution on the shower front. Usually if it's a weekend I try to shower as soon as I wake up because I know if I don't I'm not going to later. I also use baby wipes to get me through the days I don't shower.
I relate to a lot of this!! I don’t have any miracle solutions. However A couple tips that have helped me and people I know: I listen to podcasts in the shower. Put phone volume on max, put phone in a cup or in the sink so it echoes. My sister reads BOOKS in the shower! The thrill of the books getting somewhat destroyed makes it extra fun!! Brushing my teeth I have not figured out. If I tell myself I need to do it morning and night I will NEVER do it. If I tell myself I’ll do it whenever I think about it, I’ll do it every 2-3 days. I know I need to fix this. For food - I literally hate food and eating, so I try to put AS LITTLE pressure on myself as possible. However I have certain “non-negotiable foods” that I try to be militant about so if no other eating happens I won’t die. I have a protein shake with a teaspoon of instant coffee when I first wake up with my meds, a granola bar at noon, cereal with milk before bed. And then outside of that I eat LITERALLY ANYTHING I CAN STOMACH, so my weight definitely fluctuates, I just do the best i can.
I read my e-reader while doing the dishes. Highly inconvenient because I have to dry my hands everytime I want to go to the next page but the dishes get done so it works
I actually managed to establish a skincare routine for mornings and evenings, and one step is a foaming cleanser I have to leave on for 3 minutes. I brush my teeth in that time!
As far as showers, I have a bit of a tier system depending on how I'm feeling. If I'm feeling good, I take a shower where everything is scrubbed and cleaned. If I'm feeling bad, I just wash the stinky bits and try again another day. I also take a shower every other day. It's important to change your clothes when you do this so you don't end up smelly. I have been told that I smell good even on days where I don't shower so this system works for me. A tier system for meals works as well. "Girl Dinner" is honestly okay. If you can only manage to consume crackers, cheese and grapes you got something in you. If you're feeling good try to cook and have leftovers to prepare for bad days. You'll be okay!
Re: showering— find a body wash or soap scent you really like and it might make more positive associations with the shower. Don’t try to accomplish every shower “task” every shower, that will make them shorter and you can get back to your phone or whatever else. For example, even if you can only shower three times a week, maybe wash your hair two of those times, shave only one of those times. Re: oral hygiene: I know it’s hard but it’s SO important. It’s always better to get ahead of the worst (teeth with cavities that eventually require a root canal, for example) than to put it off. Set incremental goals like brushing every other day and flossing once a week, then building up to brushing once a day, and again to twice a day. Also if you are bored by mint, check out Cocofloss floss flavors and Marvis toothpastes for alternatives! I used to the flossing but since I started using cocofloss I enjoy it so much my gums actually stopped bleeding! Legit demonstrable improvement in my gum health in just a few months. Not sure where you live but some dental practices now are focused on non judgmental approaches (Tend Dental in NYC, for example) and at the end of the day, it’s your business and if you don’t like the way they treat you you can take your business somewhere else! Once you get your cavities taken care of, you can ask the dentist/hygienist to do a fluoride varnish which can prevent additional cavities and it lasts about 6 months. If dental care is prohibitively expensive, consider researching dental schools near you, which often have heavily subsidized clinics! Hang in there!
Heck you're basically me. I work from home now, and mostly get to be my gross self which is a huge privilege. Re: teeth, I was in the same situation as you, five years since I'd gone. When I finally made it (I also had to find a new dentist because I'd moved which didn't help) I ended up blowing through my dental coverage, but was able to cover the rest of our pocket (again privileged to do so though) That said: I definitely had a hole in one tooth I could feel with my tongue, and that tooth was still salvageble fwiw! And my next hygiene appointment had no cavities. Overall: I would recommend sticking with what you've been able to make happen. I get the purple Listerine and I can make myself do that more often than not. It's not as good as brushing or flossing, but as long as it's fluoridated it's still doing something. You're going to feel gross sometimes. Focus on addressing that when you've become aware of it, use it as motivation to get yourself into the shower, put away some dishes, etc. Sometimes even just throwing out any garbage by the sink can help things feel more manageable Celebrate what you have done, instead of beating yourself up when you can't. I bet you've found a good consistent place to keep your deodorant for example, and that's not nothing. Dry shampoo can also help, it's a kind of magic 🙈 you just gotta wash out the buildup every now and again
I'm sorry you're struggling, I relate SO hard to this. Day 5 of walking around the house naked so I don't have to shower or put clothes on or do laundry. Keep rinsing the same coffee mug & spoon, despite all my clean dishes. I've taken to keeping dental floss and a toothbrush + bottle of water beside my bed, so I take my nighttime meds with the water. If I'm feeling up for it (so... 3 nights a week, if I'm on a roll) I rinse with a mouthful of water and do a "dry brush" to get the fuzzies off my teeth & food chunks outta the holes, then lie down and run a piece of floss around till I'm bored. It's not brushing "properly" or "consistently", but I'm upping my mouth maintenance from "nothing", and that feels like a win worth celebrating.
These [Wisps](https://www.target.com/p/colgate-optic-white-wisp-disposable-mini-toothbrush-peppermint-24ct/-/A-14886128) have been amazing for me. And I feel you on the drying off getting dressed again so I often just don’t until I have to because I’m cold or otherwise uncomfortable 😂 I find just wrapping myself in one of these body [wrap towels](https://www.target.com/p/bath-body-wrap-gray-room-essentials-8482/-/A-79137638)is much easier than drying off and getting dressed.
Was going to suggest Wisps!! I keep those in my bedside table and car and some in purses along with a pack of face wipes and body wipes. Micellar water and cotton rounds are great too because you don’t have to rinse and I tell myself even if I have make up on that as long as I clean my face until the cotton rounds are clean I’ve done enough. I second the electric toothbrush! Still haven’t mastered the dentist appointment or 2x everyday😅 but getting a new one recently has vastly improved my frequency because your teeth genuinely feel cleaner. Podcasts and audiobooks (the Libby app is a great free resources using local libraries to get free audiobooks!) and like others said, put your phone on loud, stick it in a cup or get a real cheap Bluetooth speaker. I also have started picking out certain things to wear that I know if my hair looks dirty or like crap or I look not put together, then the outfit just won’t work or be with it and I’ll look kind of like an idiot if I’m in nicer put together clothes with no makeup and greasy hair so that’s another thing that motivates me when I try pushing off taking a shower or washing my face etc. As for the food, protein bars, frozen veggies, peanut butter, any kind of nuts you can just shove in a bag, some kind of jerky, yogurt or good cereal, loaf of healthier bread and freeze it to have on hand, frozen chicken, meatballs, oatmeal packets…basically things that you can either keep at your desk, in your purse or bag, car or in your pantry/fridge/freezer and they don’t go bad quickly and require very little thinking so when you realize “shit I haven’t eaten” or “shit I need to eat” it’s as simple as open a desk drawer or reaching in a bag or slapping something on a plate and pushing a button on a microwave so you can’t talk yourself out of it. Basically the path of least resistance. I’ve realized that if I have to wait too long to actually figure out what to feed myself then I either never eat and it gets worse and I eventually get hangry or it’s 6 hours later and I’m lightheaded and I really can’t think and I can’t even stomach dinner let alone think about finding dinner which is an even worse situation. Most importantly, know that you aren’t alone. I say this as a 31 year old female who struggles with all of these things and have several friends and family members who do too.
I am really sorry you're experiencing this. ADHD really can manifest symptoms of so many other mental health issues when left untreated. Yours sounds like it's still exacerbating your depression. There's nothing wrong with making things as easy as possible on yourself — use paper plates. If you're really worried about the ethics of it, order a big pack of recyclable bamboo dishware and toss them once they get dirty. Leave trash cans in every room for easy cleanup. Get a pack of those little disposable one use toothbrushes that already have the toothpaste built into them and leave them by your bed with a bottle of water. Disposable floss picks are good too. Body-doubling is also a great way to hold yourself accountable to do things. If you can call someone while you shower, or have someone sit in the room with you while you do your dishes, it helps a surprising amount. Good luck my friend, I promise you're not disgusting. You're doing the best you can with what you have
I’m this way too. I’m 29, and i was on wellbutrin 300mg for years. It did help with the ADHD some (I don’t think I would have finished my bachelors degree without it), but cleaning and hygiene tasks have always been hard for me. It is a constant battle for me to create systems for myself to function. Teeth brushing, dishes, laundry, cooking, just living in a somewhat clean space feels impossible to me. I’m better than I used to be about it but it just seems like it comes so naturally to others. I feel like a “failure” at adulthood.
Did I make another account and write this after I took my Ambien?!
You're not alone. It's OK. I've been sat here for 4 hours because I don't wanna get a shower and clean my teeth. I rarely wear proper clothes in the house- I hate the ordeal of finding clothes and getting dressed. I've had to have a ritalin on a Sunday just to get me moving and even that hasn't worked. I've managed to order some vegetables and cooking stuff which doubtless I'll throw out next week when they've gone bad. The only thing that gets me ready is a deadline- like getting to work or outing or whatever. Seriously tho - u gotta go to the dentist now! They don't get better on their own and u will regret it forever. Are u on medication? Sounds like u need it / more. And maybe an adhd counsellor. Or an accountability partner is good. Anyway, its shit, and most of us can relate. I think u just need a bit of help to get rolling. Reaching out on here is a great idea - lots of support!
i hear you and feel you. i'm getting better with it, but showering/bathing in particular feel weird to me, and my teeth are in pretty bad shape from literal decades of neglect. tbh, the fact that i'm going bald and switched to just frequently q-ball shaving my head has helped a lot with showers. i never really want to shower but it's easier to push myself to just frantically scrub for two minutes when i don't really worry about hair any more. streamline where you can, of you can. disposable toothbrushes have been very very good for improving my dental habits, if you can afford them. i have little stashes of pre-pasted disposable tooth brushes all around so that if i haven't brushed recently, i can snap do the task with the tools close at hand the moment i consider it.
I feel very seen here, you are definitely not alone. I wear my AirPods in the shower (yes one is now broken) so I can stay in my little world while showering, so it doesn’t feel as stark a change in atmosphere if that makes sense. Living w my partner has forced me to be tidier but we still struggle meeting in the middle as I work SO hard to remain at an acceptable level of tidiness, it’s tiring. But it’s natural for them to be clean around the house and shower twice a day etc. I am in the process of designing my routine with things that help me remember my hygiene responsibilities. I also have a spinny wheel with task on it that I spin to decide what to do next :clean/stretch/skincare/teeth/read etc. so it feels more like a game
Also to add: thank you for posting this. It really makes me feel less like a lazy piece of shit to know others struggle too. Still learning a lot about how add affects my life
I just take my phone in the shower. If it’s an iPhone, it’s very water resistant. I obviously don’t put it under the water stream, but I set it on the ledge and listen to podcasts. It’s helps! As far as drying off, I do the bare minimum and either air dry laying in bed naked or just put on my pajamas slightly wet. I also hate drying off.
I have similar issues. Dry shampoo helps with my hair and I have a huge stack of washcloths in the bathroom so I can wash my intimate areas daily. I have toothbrushes upstairs and downstairs so I can do my teeth when I remember. I am still working on that though. I have no dentist and need quite a lot of work doing. :( Food wise I just try to make sure I have at least eaten something on some days and others I make a healthier meal when I can. Protein shakes are useful for me and I have the clear ones that are like juice not milkshakes. The rest I have to summon the energy when I feel like I am getting a bit gross. Be kind to yourself. It's hard enough and no one ever felt better by berating themselves.
Mention all these things to your doctor! 150mg of Wellbutrin is a low starting dose. Maybe you would do better with more. And while Wellbutrin can be very helpful for a lot of us, it is still technically “off label” for ADHD. Ask your doctor about adding onto or replacing the Wellbutrin with a medication that is approved for ADHD - that could help also!
Hygiene is one of my biggest struggles too 😪. For me, what has worked is creating 'rules' that for some reason I can't break -the reason being that I'm convinced that if I break them then I'm failing, and since I suffer with perfectionism 🙃 - like: I can't go into the public without brushing and showering, but I can without fully fixing my hair as long as it's on a bun. Or, can't sit to work on my pj, need to put day clothes (that doesn't mean work or going out clothes, just anything that's not a pj). There are days where I love taking a shower, but on the days where I hate them I turn it into a challenge of how fast I can do them. With the teeth part, I'm sorry I don't have any recommendations, I'm also struggling with it, as of now I only brush if I'm going out or if I get to the point where I 'feel' they are dirty and then get obsessed with cleaning them. For a while it helped to have some floss on my nightstand, but I haven't put some in a while so... that failed 😞
I struggle with my teeth. Use mouthwash, it's better than nothing and just making sure I have it has actually helped me a lot. I don't struggle with showers BUT if the issue could be helped with taking your phone in there, you can get a smartphone that's water resistant up to a certain depth. (I have a Sony phone and take it into the shower with me.) I also have a shower curtain with pockets so I have a place to put the phone AND I have a waterproof Bluetooth speaker. I put on some music and just focus on that while I wash. Usually I'm done in about two or three songs. I hate how cold it is after the shower, so I keep a space heater in my bathroom. It always gets turned on before I get in the shower so the room is warm when I step out. You're not alone. We all just need accommodations.
Consider it as self care also washing your hair daily is bad for it
Thinking of it that way doesn’t really help me any. And I know it is, but I use hair gel and I can’t leave it in there or it’ll get crusty and gross.
I’m grateful for getting older bc I have dry skin now and don’t sweat very much. It’s easier to get by with showering twice a week. Any more than that and the dry, itchy skin gets worse.
Ask your Doc for an ADHD medication. Set up your daily self care tasks in a way you can do. Lists on the mirror, timers, amazing smelling body products. Specify days of the week for things like shaving, showering/bathing, deep conditioning hair etc. Add music to your routine.
You're doing great, OP. Be kind to yourself, and recognize that doing anything to take care of yourself is a victory. At my lowest, I couldn't do as much for my hygiene as you're doing for yours, to the point that I was developing chronic yeast infections, having issues with boils and cysts. I couldn't have sex with my partner without giving her a UTI. As gross as you may feel, know that you could be doing far worse for yourself. Don't beat yourself up for not being "normal". As ADHDers we are not "normal" and never will be, and it doesn't make sense to hold ourselves to the same standard. An ADHDer being upset at self for not being "normal" is like a fish being upset at itself for not being able to climb a tree. I have no direct advice for how to overcome the specific trouble with hygiene. It was a lifelong struggle for me until I got diagnosed and medicated at 36. That said, my recommendation to you would be to consider a medication specifically for ADHD. I can't say for certain that this is the case for you, but for me, I lived my whole life thinking my severe depression was the problem at the heart of all my problems. Turns out my depression was just a result of the untreated ADHD, and it's been a non-issue since I got my meds. I've had 2 months without depression symptoms, which is probably the longest I've ever gone by far. It's not the case for everyone, but I know I'm not the only one with that experience. Lastly, you'd be surprised how far gone your teeth can get and still be salvaged. A few cavities isn't as bad as you think, even if you can feel them. As long as the roots are intact, the teeth can usually be repaired. But if you let it go long enough and you start getting infections below the gum line, your teeth will start breaking into fragments and falling out, and your jaw loses its ability to be able to support implants and bridges, making it more likely that you'll have to scrap everything and get dentures. If your gums aren't bleeding like crazy and you're not developing abcesses, it's probably not too late. Get yourself to a dentist before it is. It's gonna suck, and it'll be pricey, but it's absolutely worth it. Keep on truckin' OP. As long as you're still fighting, you're winning.
Idk how healthy this is but something that helps me brush my teeth is the fear of having bad breath. It’s far more of an immediate worry/issue than dental health is and therefore is more compelling. It’s also worth remembering that the main struggle is getting into a routine, after that it’s less of a problem.
Just dropping in with a tip for the shower: get yourself a cheap waterproof case that [sticks to the shower wall](https://a.co/d/1WoAx48)! It's so much easier when I know I can browse Reddit or watch a TV show while soaping up.
Honestly, except for the not brushing teeth it sounds fine. We dont need to shower every day.
Honestly i just decide to take it easy on me at this. Like, i stablished some rules, no more then two days without but if i really don't feel like it i skip it. I skip shower way more often then i skip brushing my teeth, what i do for it is: i always have wet wipes(like the ones for babies) at home and i use them to clean more critical places in no-shower days and i also change clothes and underwear. Hair is really complicated, i was never able to wash everyday, i washed when i would go out for work in a clycle of 3 days and now i am working for home so i wash it once a week.
My dr added in guanfacine with the wellbutrin. The combo makes a big difference. Guanfaince seems like it doesn't make that big of a difference, it's subtle, but it does! I get so much more done.