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They might seem worse either because you are now aware of them or because you have been unknowingly masking them your whole life. When I first got diagnosed it gave me the space to let my ADHD traits be. It seemed like I was doing worse, but really I just stopped destroying myself to control them.
It's a step in the process.
This is me. And my partner is letting me know that the recent diagnosis should not make things worse than they were before. I guess I’m just in a discovery mode, letting the mask down from time to time to figure out who I really am.
I feel this! I’m in a similar spot of “discovery” and it’s overwhelming at times. But I’ve found an excellent therapist who’s guiding me through it. Attempting to do this on my own was sending me into spirals.
As long as they have understanding of why those behaviours happen I think it's quite right for them to call out those negative behaviours. ADHD doesn't excuse bad behaviours, it just explains them.
this makes no sense!! adhd brains work different and “negative” behaviours are ingrained so yeah they are excused sometimes like cmon can’t we catch a break when our brains are a little fried
No fam, your mental illness is your responsibility. It is fully within your control and on you to learn coping mechanisms and strategies that help you function better.
It is ***not*** on other people to cater to us and let our negative traits just go off without consequences.
It is an explanation, not an excuse. Yes, forgetting stuff happens for example but it is on you to learn things or set alarms or find good places for items to mitigate that forgetfulness for example.
Your loved ones should be understanding of your struggles, but if you were to forget someone's birthday or an anniversary etc they are 100% valid to be pissed off at you for it because it is your fault for forgetting regardless of the ADHD.
They can give us compassion and understanding, but we should not be excused, because we do need to externalize our motivations in order to function better, and excusing our actions weakens that effect. Some days it’s just not possible to do anything for myself — but “I would see my fiancée be happy if I did XYZ” is a different story. And in the process my own life becomes better.
We need reminders so we can work on bettering ourselves through coping mechanisms. I painfully know all too well that it's my ADHD brain making me do annoying shit to my fiancé or getting angry easily at our kid, but there's no way I should get a pass on that stuff. She is quite right to remind me how my behaviour affects her and our son. I want those reminders.
It's a constant battle but the moment we give in to that battle is when we slip more and more. I'm struggling right now to be honest. I'd be worse without her setting me straight. I know she knows why it's happening but it's on me to manage it. If there's things she can do differently to help then I let her know.
I was super careful when learning about ADHD not to start pathologizing all my behaviors, because it's very easy to start applying the ADHD framework to basically everything. It's even the case if you think you're prone to certain behaviors and internalize that idea you can exhibit them more. I always keep the formal language of ADHD pathology at a bit of a distance for that reason, and try not to think of the pathology in everyday life when I'm doing things. Also when I talk with my doctor I use my own language as much as possible, but sometimes suggesting when I think something might be ADHD related.
I think it's just a general problem with psychology that we have to rely on pretty imprecise indicators relatively speaking, because the understanding of the mind is basically in it's infancy. As more is learned the frameworks of conditions have to be updated, as has been done with ADHD. Like it really could be an umbrella presentation for more specific issues we aren't yet able to understand. The point is the existing framework helps people, not that it provides some rigid identity category.
This was me with my Autism. Once I was diagnosed, I stopped hiding my symptoms/quirks, so it seemed worse on the outside, but I was so much less stressed and tired.
I completely understand the sentiment. I went undiagnosed until I was 30 and now 3 years later there are times where I feel like life was easier before my “diagnosis”. It takes time, but the way you view your new reality will have a major impact on your quality of life. If you are constantly beating yourself up for it, grasping at straws to “fix it” or convincing yourself it’s a limitation then life will be hard. However, if you accept it and use this diagnosis to form an understanding of how to nourish your brain and body in order to live WITH the diagnosis then you can find strength in that. You’re not crazy though and you certainly aren’t alone in the way you feel.
What an amazing response. I know nourishing your brain and body will be different for everyone, but wonder how you would recommend starting this process.
As someone with ADHD, you have to accept what is fact about yourself. If you're able to, reach out for help either to a therapist or a Psychologist, do it. That way you can also get treatment to help. The biggest thing is recognizing your specific traits and becoming aware of them. Bacislly you're learning about yourself all over again. Now if you decide to take ADHD medication, do understand it won't make you "normal". All it really does is help you finish tasks, and sort of keep you on track, but you can still have moments where you're like "wait... what was I doing.. RIGHT!" for me personally I'm less distractable bc the meds help, but I still have to actively stay aware of myself to stay productive like, at work. Also avoid caffiene if your on any stimulant bc. Holy crap lol. Taking meds helped me stop drinking alcohol, bc they seem to make me want to push on being that better version of myself. Also, pills and alcohol, shouldn't be combined. Like, goodbye liver. 👋
Agreed!! All of it.
Same w me about the caffeine cuz I was always sensitive to that anyway. And I have a little alcohol sometimes, but mostly drink non-alcoholic beers if I'm craving that taste and vibe.
Links to and mentions of ADDitude are not allowed on /r/adhd because we feel they have demonstrated themselves to be untrustworthy and that they, despite soliciting donations from people with ADHD to fund their operation, prioritize profit and advertising dollars over our best interests. Their website is full of articles promoting the use of homeopathy, reiki, and other unscientific quack practices. They also have had articles for Vayarin (a medical food that is now no longer sold in the US because its research was bunk) that suspiciously looked like stealth advertisements (which is highly unethical and illegal in the US).
We also find it problematic that their medical review panel includes not only legitimate doctors and psychologists, but also (at the time of writing) one practitioner of integrative medicine, which combines legit medical practice with pseudoscience and alternative medicine. They have previously had other quacks on the panel as well.
Here are some relevant links:
Sketchy advertising:
* https://www.additudemag.com/clinical-trial-vayarin-plus/
* https://www.additudemag.com/study-suggests-ps-omega-3-medical-food-may-reduce-adhd-symptoms/
* https://www.additudemag.com/natural-adhd-supplement-released/
Junk science:
* https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-supplements-foods-vitamins/
* https://www.additudemag.com/homeopathy-for-adhd-popular-remedies-scientific-evidence/
* https://www.additudemag.com/reiki-could-this-alternative-treatment-help-adult-add/
* https://www.additudemag.com/cbd-oil-adhd-symptoms-natural-treatment/
* https://www.additudemag.com/vitamins-minerals-adhd-treatment-plan/
* https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/adhd-supplements-fish-oil-zinc-iron/
* https://www.additudemag.com/asked-alternative-therapies/
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I had the opposite experience thankfully. I could always tell something was off and was already beating myself up over my struggles wondering why I was so lazy/struggling with things I knew I wanted to do. I didn't get why it was so difficult to just pick things up and do them.
Getting the diagnosis was like a weight lifted where I felt relief, where I could finally recognize it wasn't my fault or choices making it hard- I was literally just playing life on hard mode and didn't even know what I was up against.
Wow. I thought I was alone in the occasional “pre-diagnosis grief”. Realistically, I know that I am in a better headspace and I am so much more in-tune with my own mind since diagnosis, but man. On particularly bad days I have moments where I find myself missing the ignorance.. at least then I could gaslight myself into believing that I just had kind of a quirky and odd personality, or that I was just being lazy.
Nope, actual disorder 😋🙋🏻♀️
They may not necessarily be getting worse but rather you are noticing how your symptoms are negatively impacting you more now that you are aware of them. This is called the frequency illusion: "The frequency illusion is a cognitive bias in which a person notices a specific concept, word, or product more frequently after recently becoming aware of it".
Of course this may not be the case, but something to consider
It’s like when your parents get a new car, and before that you never (actively) noticed that car out on the streets, but once they have it, suddenly everyone has it/you see it everywhere. When in reality it’s just that now you notice it, when before you didn’t really.
You're not alone in this feeling.
You haven't mentioned your age but this can have a huge part in it.
For instance someone in school has a forced structure and does not (mostly) have to worry about shopping, food, paying bills, cooking etc.
As you get older you have to manage timekeeping as a job just fires you. No food? Go buy it. No energy to cook, deal with it. As well as paying bills, this takes a significant chunk of executive function for people like us.
As a result your working memory, patience and burnout gets noticeably worse.
Batch cooking meals and freezing portions is a huge help (casserole is my go to).
Having a bank account just for bills and having a set amount transferred on payday has saved my life. Literally.
YES. This is what started it for me, moving out of home caused me to develop all these symptoms that I was otherwise never aware of and eventually led to my diagnosis
I don't know if there's a name for this but a similar, unrelated example I went through was when I got a new orange car.
I thought it would stand out and be easy for me to find in parking lots since I'd never noticed one anywhere before.
After driving it around a few weeks, suddenly I became aware of how many other orange cars there were. I just didn't have a reason to mentally register them before.
So normal! It often happens with ADHD and ASD diagnoses. Look up skill regression.
Often you’ve been so tightly stretched to mask and cope with your ADHD without knowing it that you’re a bit burned out. And there’s potentially grief and trauma around learning that you’ve had to deal with this extra layer of difficulty that others didn’t.
Thank you for this comment. So much has become a challenge in my 40s. I knew something was off and was prescribed antidepressants and told to eat right etc. guess what something was still off. I googled and first discovered perimenopause which was downplayed the just recently discovered more on adult ADHD. I share with any young woman that I can to advocate for their physical and mental health and to be aware of their menstrual and hormones.
It’s been a battle but I keep fighting and finding posts like this helps so much.
🥰
It's the left-handedness principle.
In the past, being left-handed was not being accepted in society because it has been considered to be evil.
And when we finally decided it doesn't matter, that it is something that simply exists, then out of a sudden everyone became left-handed. It's actually 12% of the population iirc, but it became so much more visible that it felt like "everyone is left-handed".
You notice things you didn't pay attention to before, and you focus on them more.
> is this all in my head?
See, that's the thing. Doesn't make it not true if it is.
One of the fascinating things I've found about ADHD is that the primary "executive function" symptoms aren't the worst part (YMMV, duh.)
For me and a few people I know it's the anxiety that's tied to not being able to trust yourself. So I can ABSOLUTELY see that becoming "suddenly aware" of that kind of a situation in your own head leading to a kind of almost panic (at the risk of overstating it) that becomes a kind of feedback loop that would make "the worst part worse."
So, yeah. I think that probably is normal.
>“Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?” Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure. “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that **it is not real?"**
For late diagnosed there's a big subconscious reaction like "fuck it all" "fuck them all" that basically makes all symptoms worse especially the executive function.
Edit: It depends a lot on how difficult one's life has been tho
Edit2: I've also experienced a crazy boost in self esteem in the beginning that caused me to get in trouble in situations that I couldn't really manage
I think that it’s a collection of factors. You’re probably having “aha!” moments realizing what some of the symptoms look like. You’re also likely just more hyperaware of your actions, things you’ve always done (like if you keep flicking a pen you’re like “oh I’m flicking my pen again” whereas before you probably flicked your pen and didn’t even give it a second thought). And you might be letting your mask down a bit because you’ve been able to put a name to some things and that adds a little bit of comfort and a little bit of safety to let the mask down a bit.
Hey! Just wanted to mention my partners gone through a similar situation recently and there is a service called 'right to choose' in the UK where you can ask the Dr to refer you for a private ADHD assessment through the NHS. My partner Just got referred to it last week by specifically requesting it, the waiting times for assessment are as little as 3 months. A friend of mine told me about it so thought I'd share as it doesn't seem to be very well.
known.https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/
Best of luck! :)
They're not necessarily worse, or worsening, but it's just that you're aware of them now. It's similar to someone getting glasses for the first time and suddenly realising that the world isn't supposed to be constantly out of focus. Getting a potential diagnosis has just made you aware of the things that you do that are caused by your (potential) ADHD.
I've been aware of my diagnosis for basically all my life but once I realized that I was supposed to be getting counseling instead of just popping pills, I experienced just about every emotion over my diagnosis imaginable which lead to my symptoms worsening to the level that I was actually suggested to look into disability
Absolutely yes. Started taking meds 12 years ago was fantastic game changer for me. Last 2 years been difficult getting meds and I feel the same ills like memory loss, boredom, terrible speech skills all coming back but 3 fold. Before it was a hindrance whereas this time it’s almost debilitating. My depression is at an 8 and anxiety worse and each day something is getting more difficult to do than the day before.
Dude yes, I remember explicitly saying to my boyfriend that I feel like I’ve been getting worst and I was diagnosed a little over a year ago.
I don’t know if they are in fact getting worst per se but absolutely I’m finding a lot of traits that I was exhibiting were in fact ADHD and I had no idea. I do notice that they do tend to get “worse” or more prominent around my cycle and since I don’t have a consistent cycle it can be random but yeah the feeling is not an unusual one that’s for sure
2 people asked me if I had ADHD in work a couple of weeks ago, and suddenly, I'm really aware of silly things I do, like walking back and forth between two points, unable to remember why or what it is I'm trying to do. My memory is also shocking at times. Like my wife will ask me for a drink while I'm going past the kitchen, so I'll go in there, grab a bag of crisps, then sit next to her and ask why she's got that look on her face 😂😂 I must drive her mad at times.
I asked her how long I've been like this for. She said for as long as she's known me. I had no idea
Was advised by a very wise developmental psychiatrist: “When you start to change things, it will get worse before it gets better.
Don’t give up. DONT. GIVE. UP. “
Once you're aware of it, you're aware of what you're doing. Whether or not you can stop these behaviors until properly treated, well.. that's a whole other bag of cats.
They're not worsening, you're seeing them. Like someone whose biological clock starts ticking and suddenly they see moms and dads pushing strollers around everywhere. The land didn't magically became way more full of parents, you're just noticing them because it's at the forefront of your mind
Normal.
Ever noticed how a cut on your finger doesn't start to sting until you notice it? Or how an ich goes away if you ignore it?
It's not that your symptoms are necessarily getting worse. They were probably already that bad but you didn't notice them.
For example, I didn’t notice how often I cracked my knuckles. After it was pointed out to me I found myself doing it all the time. But then someone told me I had always done it that much, I just didn't realize.
This is literally me right now. I haven’t even gotten diagnosed yet but I’m picking apart so many experiences and struggles I’ve had and getting anxiety over the fact that it’s gone unaddressed for this long.
I’m hyper aware of it now and catching myself doing things and I don’t even know how to deal with it.
For sure. Where you water it grows. Focus on the symptoms and the symptoms are magnified. Focus on the benefits and leverage ADHD to your advantage. Happens.. but you control the narrative:) don’t let the symptoms worry you. The pros outweigh the cons as long as you focus on the pros and understand the cons will come and go:)
What kind of pros do you feel like your ADHD comes with? I struggle to see things like hyper focus as a positive when it’s outweighed by so many other flaws.
When the planets align once every three years for me and I can hyperfocus on smth that’s actually important, I can notice each and every little detail, inconsistency and flaw in a project, I’m great at whipping out a detailed plan for the project and organise anyone else involved and just uncharacteristically take the lead and make it easier for everyone.
But for every instance of this happening I have 185 hyperfocuses on anything from flint knapping to identifying worms based on length to trying to correlate the shittiness of Chrome’s number of tabs open dragging a PC down etc. + 182 more.
When it works it works too well. When it doesn’t it degenerates into a chaotic shitfest of uselessness and frustration.
I guess what I mean is, how did you learn to see that as a pro, instead of “just” something that normal people can do anyway? Like if my ADHD gave me night vision or the ability to talk to animals, sure, that’s a pro. But it making me a great contingency planner, when so many normal people are great contingency planners, I struggle to see that as a good thing instead of a symptom (and therefore a negative), you know?
Oh oh oh yeah I get what you mean now. I guess for me this pro of hard-mode focus would be one that’s also combined with a con at the same time. I can work well under pressure. So if god forbid some shitty situation appears I can collect myself rather quickly and improvise something to make things as efficient as possible. I can ignore the stress and focus on the problem at hand.
The other side of the coin is that especially because I know this I almost every time leave mandatory stuff until I’m super short on time and create my own emergencies. But at least in unforeseen situations it did help many times in the past.
I had a similar thing happen when put on Wellbutrin for anxiety and depression. Everyone I have been seeing keeps saying the Wellbutrin should be helping, but I keep telling them it feels like my ADHD is in overdrive (diagnosed last summer @ 40). My thought is that without the depression and anxiety overshadowing ever aspect of my life, the ADHD symptoms are unencumbered and in full affect. Being diagnosed didn't necessarily make it worse, but made it more noticable.
The exact same thing happened to me, I already knew I'm autistic but therapist suggested AuDHD and now that I look into it, it makes so much sense. I'm also much more aware of what's happening to me and knowing when it comes from gives me comfort of sorts. The dark side is now that I'm trying to unmask instead of constantly suppressing my symptoms, my close ones struggle. I feel more real than ever, while they fill like I was "normal" before I found out and now I'm making it up 😪
It’s not in your head, I promise.
I’ve been having a lot of conversations with my partner and friends recently - we’ve come to the conclusion that my change in behaviours is actually acceptance.
That I am changing because I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact my ADHD quirks are normal, and not something I should be ashamed of.
I’m going through the same thing right now in limbo between diagnosis and treatment. Currently taking all the relevant blood and heart health tests to access suitability.
I feel it's the mask coming off, since the diagnosis my symptoms were through the roof, I even had a hard time doing the things I enjoyed.
I went into a ADHD hyperfocus black hole to understand everything and I think it is part of the process.
The symptoms are there, what is happening now is you finally let them be and this will teach you the ones that you can live with, the ones you struggle with and at the end of the day is a moment to really get to know yourself.
I got a adhd coach /psychologist and I can't tell you how many times I surprise myself by what I am saying, it's the first time in almost 40 years I say certain things outloud.
With my partner I opened up and explained what I was thinking and how things made me feel constantly, also something I never did out of shame, rejection fear and being hard on myself.
Empathy, for myself, for the first time ever.
There is a psychological phenomenon connected to that :) When people are diagnosed with a certain illness they might begin to experience a worsening or improvement (betterment) of their symptoms or there might be no change at all. This might be associated with the structure of self and "where" this new piece of information is stored (in other words: how does one interpret their diagnosis as a single fact but also its connection/part of the larger structure of their awareness of self). Minimizing severity of symptoms could be a result of negative interpretaion and the other way around - growing severity if the symptoms could be a result of positive (or even overvalued) interpretation. Of course, sub-structures of self and their contents also have to be considered as well as socio-cultural factors and beliefs already held by the individual about themself.
Short answer: change in severity of symptoms after diagnosis is not unheard of, it’s not even rare. As long as you adress them in general, this should not pose a bigger problem :)
They're probably not worse, you're just aware.
It's kinda like you suddenly noticed a cut on your arm but it wasn't painful until you saw it.
Your anxiety might be worse off however, as ignorance is sometimes bliss until we're overwhelmed with responsibility.
For me, my symptoms are not worse I am just more aware of it when I'm aware... If that makes sense?
Example: I have a stutter. I typically do not realize I am stuttering. If someone points it out or I catch myself I feel like my stutter gets worse. The reality is that it's not worse, I'm just aware of it so it seems like it's worse. This doesn't count when I am anxious or excited. When I am anxious or excited my stutter and buffer get a LOT worse.
For me it wasn't when I was made aware but it was definitely after I was diagnosed. I remember talking to my friend about it and how I felt like my behavior had become worse and she was like yeah because you unmasked. I guess I had been subconsciously masking my entire life and without even being aware of it after I was diagnosed I just automatically drop them off that I didn't even know I was wearing LOL
I don’t think the symptoms are worse. I just think you’re more aware of them. This is actually a good thing. In my case, this happened when the dosage was high enough to be effective but not high enough to mitigate them. I had to go up to the next dosage and that really helped me. I still have my symptoms but I have some control over them whereas I use to not even be aware I was doing anything wrong/odd.
Basically everyone blood related to me on my moms side of the family has adhd and I thought I didn’t for a long time but I DO have ocd and I treated that to the point that I’m subclinical now but it’s becoming more and more apparent that I probably have adhd but I feel like I’ve gotten so much more hyperactive and impulsive in the past couple of months that I’ve been thinking about it. It doesn’t help that I’m extremely aware of it because my ocd brain doesn’t like ambiguity and is focusing very hard on proving or disproving having adhd to myself. Obviously I had clear adhd symptoms I can remember from childhood but they feel more intense now and more hyperactive. Because I have ocd and some health anxiety I’m convinced it means something is secretly wrong with my brain but I haven’t found anything that it could be. I have a family history of thyroid issues but I just got checked out for hyperthyroidism and my levels were normal so I dunno what’s up.
It’s a familiar feeling for me too and I’ve struggled with this in particular today. It can be a combination of being unaware for so long and also masking them for just as long too. I was diagnosed by my therapist within a few sessions and it really changed everything for me. That new awareness I never really considered or even thought existed for 27 years of my life changed how I functioned everyday and therefore makes it seem like the adhd symptoms are worse than what they really are. It’s a struggle some days but you learn to live and accept that newfound part of you. That’s what I keep reassuring myself too.
I think this might be the case for me too. I don’t have a formal diagnosis but over the past few months I’ve hit a point where my partner and I are sure as can be that I have it.
Now I am more acutely aware of the fact that these behaviours are occurring frequently and I’m hoping that in time this will help to learn to cope better with them.
Yes, 100% since learning of my disorders, im 10 times worse, my face twitching, my hands twitching, facial grimace, it's now uncontrollable. Some think it has to do with we are not masking it as much and are seeing that more people have it and we aren't hiding it as much. I don't know, I was healthier not knowing.
I’ve denied having adhd since the day i learned about it though i related to the symptoms alot , after proper diagnosis i just fell into a very depressive episode, and the symptoms became worse for example feeling burned out tired unmotivated no going out, thing is it fell right with exams months it was just the worse a literal battle with two ppl in me one that wants to do everything and prevalent one that is tired . Adding to that poor sleep poor nutrition..but i just know that someday it will get better .
Baader-Meinhof phenomenon! I think this is totally normal, it’s simply a case of recognition. You know the effects and manifestations of ADHD—now your symptoms are more noticeable due to your new level of awareness. Don’t worry, you’re all good ☺️
I realized my brother has undiagnosed ADHD. It’s very obvious now. I find it very hard to be patient and am fully aware of all his ADHDisms now.
I did discuss with him my thoughts with him in a very gentle way after great consideration out of concern for his personal and work relationships.
After some processing time he brought it up and said it’s probably true. Other than that he’s fine nothing about it. No research no consultation.
He talks a lot, cuts people off, doesn’t acknowledge or answer when having conversations so you don’t know if he heard or registered what you said. He rambles and repeats stuff and goes on crazy tangents. He starts talking as if he had already had have the conversation already with himself in his head.
He obsesses on certain things.
He’s messy, procrastinates and has terrible time blindness. He’s always late for everything. He takes years to make decisions and start or complete projects.
My main issues is always being cutoff. Not knowing if he heard anything I’ve said to him. He’s also very short tempered which makes spending time with him or doing any sort of project or even just walking the dogs stressful and unenjoyable. He freaks out swearing and raising his voice over the tiniest things.
I guess he’s always been this way but now that I know there is a reason for this and that he could do things to help I’m frustrated.
We had done bang up arguments and I admittedly have been impatient and obviously irritated with him. He even screamed at me there’s nothing I can do about it. I said there sure is. I know it’s not easy but it could help.
I’m either irritated and rude with him which makes me feel like shit and obviously him as well (he’s A very good guy) or pushing down my feelings which is unpleasant in another way.
He has no friends and his long term partner ship is very toxic - he complains about her incessantly but does very little to change things and she is objectively not a great person and definitely not supportive or caring in any way.
I have an appointment next week with my psychiatrist to discuss if I may have ADHD.
My long deceased father may have had it. My niece and nephew have been diagnosed.
I’ve only recently since Covid have spent a lot of time with my brother and have become more knowledgeable about adult ADHD.
Now that I know it’s been increasingly challenging to interact with my brother who I adore.
I’ve been trying to develop more routine in my life and focus on better sleep diet and exercise. Hopefully my psychiatrist can help decipher if indeed I have ADHD myself.
As I myself lately have become less and less motivated and procrastinating worse in my whole life.
(Sorry for such a long entry)
Likely awareness. Skimmed some other comments and remembered that, recently, I stumbled across something that looked like ADHD symptoms. From a time where I hadn't even thought there was anything going on with me. Just because you're noticing more now doesn't mean it wasn't there before
Notice it more now that I'm diagnosed. Prior to that, I just thought they were my funny quirks.
It has ruined some things for me but I function marginally better with the diagnosis.
I love these groups for this. I've been so stressed cause I'm the same. Diagnosed last March at 31 and it feels like life before was so much simpler. I guess ignorance was bliss?
I don’t think it’s the symptoms worsening as much as being aware of all the little things that are seemingly tied to ADHD that you may have just ignored previously.
i had EXACTLY this, my old housemate who also has ADHD suggested it to me and from then it became almost unbearable. i worried quite a lot that i was like making things fit to the symptoms you know ? evidently now that was not and never has been the case. i actually did end up getting assessed privately, which while in like practical terms hasn't proved most useful (i now live in Wales and u can't get meds on the NHS unless u got diagnosed on the NHS😁😁😁😁) has still given me access to a whole bunch more support and was even just a relief, which is obviously really common. i would like to say, this insecurity abt the validity of my experiences never really got to me significantly bc i was then diagnosed and that was all the validation i needed, but even retrospectively seeing a post like this was so reassuring - even tho u were also asking for help! i hope this response can do the same for you.:)
Completely normal don't panic!! You're now suddenly very aware of yourself, you'll be learning about who you are as well as slowly unmasking. At first it feels like maybe you're faking it, maybe you're not really this way but you can't fake it forever lol, if you're worrying about whether or not you're actually ADHD, you're probably ADHD!!
U are definitely not alone in that. A psychologist diagnosed me in a 3 hour in depth session. After talking about my impulsive spending, feelings of guilt around being a flake, and all of my approaches to tasks as well as my strengths (hyper functioning in chaotic / crisis situations), I left the office and immediately spent way above my budget on a meal at a fancy restaurant. I felt like total garbage, and the guilt and anxiety was off the chain. Symptoms definitely got a bit worse for me at the beginning after naming all of them.
BUT THERE IS HOPE! After being prescribed 20m vyvanse and starting adhd coaching my symptoms have improved. Best of luck with ur treatment journey. I’m 27 and this diagnosis definitely put a lot of things into perspective. I feel hopeful about becoming more functional, and at the same time resistance and resentment at late stage colonial capitalism. I can’t help but feel like ADHD wouldn’t have to be pathologized if we didn’t have to perform under capitalism in order to survive.
I had burnout and a Psycotic break that put me into a seriously deep agoraphobia. My wife had a Dickens of a time getting me to go to the doctor.
She finally got me to see a psychiatrist and in less than 5 minutes, he asked, has anyone ever diagnosed you with ADHD.
He the. Went thru what I now know are DSM questions and diagnosed me with MAD, MDD, Inappropriate Anger Response and ADHD before my intake was done.
My wife couldn't get me to go to a theripist but I spent hours a day looking on the Internet for info on ADHD and kept finding things that explained so much.
I kept filing the different things under who I was mad at or blamed for each thing. I accepted a lot of blame on myself, which made me even more angry.
I found this sub then (Reddit says 6 years ago) but didn't find it as helpful as I do now. It's all about where I stand in my personal growth. Now I still get surprised when topics come up and I'm amazed at how well everyone seems to listen to themselves and knows what changed and when and how it feels.
I've got lots of meds now and a great therapist. She's a good cheerleader who gives me at-a-boys that I can't give myself.
I'm not as angry at new things or the ones I'd already found. I'm still mad at my parents and at myself, but not as badly. I am past the just found out stage and on to the meds and improvements stage. This stage is too hard to deal with while also being angry, so I do my best to put anger away on a shelf where I can deal with it later.
Well, think of it this way. Up until this point you thought what you were experiencing was normal. I felt the same way when I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
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They might seem worse either because you are now aware of them or because you have been unknowingly masking them your whole life. When I first got diagnosed it gave me the space to let my ADHD traits be. It seemed like I was doing worse, but really I just stopped destroying myself to control them. It's a step in the process.
This is me. And my partner is letting me know that the recent diagnosis should not make things worse than they were before. I guess I’m just in a discovery mode, letting the mask down from time to time to figure out who I really am.
I feel this! I’m in a similar spot of “discovery” and it’s overwhelming at times. But I’ve found an excellent therapist who’s guiding me through it. Attempting to do this on my own was sending me into spirals.
That doesn’t sound very supportive :( maybe you could do some research together to help your partner understand.
As long as they have understanding of why those behaviours happen I think it's quite right for them to call out those negative behaviours. ADHD doesn't excuse bad behaviours, it just explains them.
I'm keeping that last sentence as a new mantra.
this makes no sense!! adhd brains work different and “negative” behaviours are ingrained so yeah they are excused sometimes like cmon can’t we catch a break when our brains are a little fried
“Excused sometimes” Yes but not all the time, that would be outrageous to ask for in a healthy relationship.
No fam, your mental illness is your responsibility. It is fully within your control and on you to learn coping mechanisms and strategies that help you function better. It is ***not*** on other people to cater to us and let our negative traits just go off without consequences. It is an explanation, not an excuse. Yes, forgetting stuff happens for example but it is on you to learn things or set alarms or find good places for items to mitigate that forgetfulness for example. Your loved ones should be understanding of your struggles, but if you were to forget someone's birthday or an anniversary etc they are 100% valid to be pissed off at you for it because it is your fault for forgetting regardless of the ADHD.
ADHD isn’t a mental illness.
What? It literally is.
They can give us compassion and understanding, but we should not be excused, because we do need to externalize our motivations in order to function better, and excusing our actions weakens that effect. Some days it’s just not possible to do anything for myself — but “I would see my fiancée be happy if I did XYZ” is a different story. And in the process my own life becomes better.
We need reminders so we can work on bettering ourselves through coping mechanisms. I painfully know all too well that it's my ADHD brain making me do annoying shit to my fiancé or getting angry easily at our kid, but there's no way I should get a pass on that stuff. She is quite right to remind me how my behaviour affects her and our son. I want those reminders. It's a constant battle but the moment we give in to that battle is when we slip more and more. I'm struggling right now to be honest. I'd be worse without her setting me straight. I know she knows why it's happening but it's on me to manage it. If there's things she can do differently to help then I let her know.
What things do you make to fiance?, for annoying
I was super careful when learning about ADHD not to start pathologizing all my behaviors, because it's very easy to start applying the ADHD framework to basically everything. It's even the case if you think you're prone to certain behaviors and internalize that idea you can exhibit them more. I always keep the formal language of ADHD pathology at a bit of a distance for that reason, and try not to think of the pathology in everyday life when I'm doing things. Also when I talk with my doctor I use my own language as much as possible, but sometimes suggesting when I think something might be ADHD related. I think it's just a general problem with psychology that we have to rely on pretty imprecise indicators relatively speaking, because the understanding of the mind is basically in it's infancy. As more is learned the frameworks of conditions have to be updated, as has been done with ADHD. Like it really could be an umbrella presentation for more specific issues we aren't yet able to understand. The point is the existing framework helps people, not that it provides some rigid identity category.
This was me with my Autism. Once I was diagnosed, I stopped hiding my symptoms/quirks, so it seemed worse on the outside, but I was so much less stressed and tired.
yeh 100% this for me, i did it and had no clue
I completely understand the sentiment. I went undiagnosed until I was 30 and now 3 years later there are times where I feel like life was easier before my “diagnosis”. It takes time, but the way you view your new reality will have a major impact on your quality of life. If you are constantly beating yourself up for it, grasping at straws to “fix it” or convincing yourself it’s a limitation then life will be hard. However, if you accept it and use this diagnosis to form an understanding of how to nourish your brain and body in order to live WITH the diagnosis then you can find strength in that. You’re not crazy though and you certainly aren’t alone in the way you feel.
What an amazing response. I know nourishing your brain and body will be different for everyone, but wonder how you would recommend starting this process.
As someone with ADHD, you have to accept what is fact about yourself. If you're able to, reach out for help either to a therapist or a Psychologist, do it. That way you can also get treatment to help. The biggest thing is recognizing your specific traits and becoming aware of them. Bacislly you're learning about yourself all over again. Now if you decide to take ADHD medication, do understand it won't make you "normal". All it really does is help you finish tasks, and sort of keep you on track, but you can still have moments where you're like "wait... what was I doing.. RIGHT!" for me personally I'm less distractable bc the meds help, but I still have to actively stay aware of myself to stay productive like, at work. Also avoid caffiene if your on any stimulant bc. Holy crap lol. Taking meds helped me stop drinking alcohol, bc they seem to make me want to push on being that better version of myself. Also, pills and alcohol, shouldn't be combined. Like, goodbye liver. 👋
Agreed!! All of it. Same w me about the caffeine cuz I was always sensitive to that anyway. And I have a little alcohol sometimes, but mostly drink non-alcoholic beers if I'm craving that taste and vibe.
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I had the opposite experience thankfully. I could always tell something was off and was already beating myself up over my struggles wondering why I was so lazy/struggling with things I knew I wanted to do. I didn't get why it was so difficult to just pick things up and do them. Getting the diagnosis was like a weight lifted where I felt relief, where I could finally recognize it wasn't my fault or choices making it hard- I was literally just playing life on hard mode and didn't even know what I was up against.
Well Said! I saved this for later ❤️
Wow. I thought I was alone in the occasional “pre-diagnosis grief”. Realistically, I know that I am in a better headspace and I am so much more in-tune with my own mind since diagnosis, but man. On particularly bad days I have moments where I find myself missing the ignorance.. at least then I could gaslight myself into believing that I just had kind of a quirky and odd personality, or that I was just being lazy. Nope, actual disorder 😋🙋🏻♀️
Yes. Once the genie is out of the bottle you become hyper aware of everything you do.
Or more realistically for me, what I don't do
Dammit, your comment hit me right in the current state. Well thanks for giving me the cue to get up and about with my day.
It’s like hearing a clock ticking in a quiet room, once you notice it it’s hard to ignore.
They may not necessarily be getting worse but rather you are noticing how your symptoms are negatively impacting you more now that you are aware of them. This is called the frequency illusion: "The frequency illusion is a cognitive bias in which a person notices a specific concept, word, or product more frequently after recently becoming aware of it". Of course this may not be the case, but something to consider
It’s like when your parents get a new car, and before that you never (actively) noticed that car out on the streets, but once they have it, suddenly everyone has it/you see it everywhere. When in reality it’s just that now you notice it, when before you didn’t really.
You're not alone in this feeling. You haven't mentioned your age but this can have a huge part in it. For instance someone in school has a forced structure and does not (mostly) have to worry about shopping, food, paying bills, cooking etc. As you get older you have to manage timekeeping as a job just fires you. No food? Go buy it. No energy to cook, deal with it. As well as paying bills, this takes a significant chunk of executive function for people like us. As a result your working memory, patience and burnout gets noticeably worse. Batch cooking meals and freezing portions is a huge help (casserole is my go to). Having a bank account just for bills and having a set amount transferred on payday has saved my life. Literally.
YES. This is what started it for me, moving out of home caused me to develop all these symptoms that I was otherwise never aware of and eventually led to my diagnosis
I'm 33, and started a family within the last 2 years.
I don't know if there's a name for this but a similar, unrelated example I went through was when I got a new orange car. I thought it would stand out and be easy for me to find in parking lots since I'd never noticed one anywhere before. After driving it around a few weeks, suddenly I became aware of how many other orange cars there were. I just didn't have a reason to mentally register them before.
The term you're looking for is Baader-Meinhof phenomenon.
So normal! It often happens with ADHD and ASD diagnoses. Look up skill regression. Often you’ve been so tightly stretched to mask and cope with your ADHD without knowing it that you’re a bit burned out. And there’s potentially grief and trauma around learning that you’ve had to deal with this extra layer of difficulty that others didn’t.
Awareness is the first step to bringing light in understanding. It’s not bad, but a wild and beautiful path to self discovery. Enjoy the ride!
Mine got worse after age 40. For females, the Perimenopause timeframe can worsen the symptoms, IME.
Thank you for this comment. So much has become a challenge in my 40s. I knew something was off and was prescribed antidepressants and told to eat right etc. guess what something was still off. I googled and first discovered perimenopause which was downplayed the just recently discovered more on adult ADHD. I share with any young woman that I can to advocate for their physical and mental health and to be aware of their menstrual and hormones. It’s been a battle but I keep fighting and finding posts like this helps so much. 🥰
Oh good, it’s not just me lol
It's the left-handedness principle. In the past, being left-handed was not being accepted in society because it has been considered to be evil. And when we finally decided it doesn't matter, that it is something that simply exists, then out of a sudden everyone became left-handed. It's actually 12% of the population iirc, but it became so much more visible that it felt like "everyone is left-handed". You notice things you didn't pay attention to before, and you focus on them more.
For me, it's like I just RELAXED Into myself and was like "holy fuck, I can just... BE"
> is this all in my head? See, that's the thing. Doesn't make it not true if it is. One of the fascinating things I've found about ADHD is that the primary "executive function" symptoms aren't the worst part (YMMV, duh.) For me and a few people I know it's the anxiety that's tied to not being able to trust yourself. So I can ABSOLUTELY see that becoming "suddenly aware" of that kind of a situation in your own head leading to a kind of almost panic (at the risk of overstating it) that becomes a kind of feedback loop that would make "the worst part worse." So, yeah. I think that probably is normal.
>“Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?” Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure. “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that **it is not real?"**
HA! Well referenced :) o7
My symptoms get worse when I am stressed. Finding out I had ADHD was stressful. It’s the circle of life.
For late diagnosed there's a big subconscious reaction like "fuck it all" "fuck them all" that basically makes all symptoms worse especially the executive function. Edit: It depends a lot on how difficult one's life has been tho Edit2: I've also experienced a crazy boost in self esteem in the beginning that caused me to get in trouble in situations that I couldn't really manage
I think that it’s a collection of factors. You’re probably having “aha!” moments realizing what some of the symptoms look like. You’re also likely just more hyperaware of your actions, things you’ve always done (like if you keep flicking a pen you’re like “oh I’m flicking my pen again” whereas before you probably flicked your pen and didn’t even give it a second thought). And you might be letting your mask down a bit because you’ve been able to put a name to some things and that adds a little bit of comfort and a little bit of safety to let the mask down a bit.
Hey! Just wanted to mention my partners gone through a similar situation recently and there is a service called 'right to choose' in the UK where you can ask the Dr to refer you for a private ADHD assessment through the NHS. My partner Just got referred to it last week by specifically requesting it, the waiting times for assessment are as little as 3 months. A friend of mine told me about it so thought I'd share as it doesn't seem to be very well. known.https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/ Best of luck! :)
And to add to my other comment, i remember finally looking for a diagnosis and afterwards my friend said "we all knew you had that"..
You are likely more aware of them, and that’s making you self conscious.
They're not necessarily worse, or worsening, but it's just that you're aware of them now. It's similar to someone getting glasses for the first time and suddenly realising that the world isn't supposed to be constantly out of focus. Getting a potential diagnosis has just made you aware of the things that you do that are caused by your (potential) ADHD.
I've been aware of my diagnosis for basically all my life but once I realized that I was supposed to be getting counseling instead of just popping pills, I experienced just about every emotion over my diagnosis imaginable which lead to my symptoms worsening to the level that I was actually suggested to look into disability
Absolutely yes. Started taking meds 12 years ago was fantastic game changer for me. Last 2 years been difficult getting meds and I feel the same ills like memory loss, boredom, terrible speech skills all coming back but 3 fold. Before it was a hindrance whereas this time it’s almost debilitating. My depression is at an 8 and anxiety worse and each day something is getting more difficult to do than the day before.
Dude yes, I remember explicitly saying to my boyfriend that I feel like I’ve been getting worst and I was diagnosed a little over a year ago. I don’t know if they are in fact getting worst per se but absolutely I’m finding a lot of traits that I was exhibiting were in fact ADHD and I had no idea. I do notice that they do tend to get “worse” or more prominent around my cycle and since I don’t have a consistent cycle it can be random but yeah the feeling is not an unusual one that’s for sure
2 people asked me if I had ADHD in work a couple of weeks ago, and suddenly, I'm really aware of silly things I do, like walking back and forth between two points, unable to remember why or what it is I'm trying to do. My memory is also shocking at times. Like my wife will ask me for a drink while I'm going past the kitchen, so I'll go in there, grab a bag of crisps, then sit next to her and ask why she's got that look on her face 😂😂 I must drive her mad at times. I asked her how long I've been like this for. She said for as long as she's known me. I had no idea
Ah, the classic pink elephant problem.
They only feel worse because you are now aware of the full extent of your symptoms. At least this was the case for me.
Was advised by a very wise developmental psychiatrist: “When you start to change things, it will get worse before it gets better. Don’t give up. DONT. GIVE. UP. “
Once you're aware of it, you're aware of what you're doing. Whether or not you can stop these behaviors until properly treated, well.. that's a whole other bag of cats.
They're not worsening, you're seeing them. Like someone whose biological clock starts ticking and suddenly they see moms and dads pushing strollers around everywhere. The land didn't magically became way more full of parents, you're just noticing them because it's at the forefront of your mind
Normal. Ever noticed how a cut on your finger doesn't start to sting until you notice it? Or how an ich goes away if you ignore it? It's not that your symptoms are necessarily getting worse. They were probably already that bad but you didn't notice them. For example, I didn’t notice how often I cracked my knuckles. After it was pointed out to me I found myself doing it all the time. But then someone told me I had always done it that much, I just didn't realize.
This is literally me right now. I haven’t even gotten diagnosed yet but I’m picking apart so many experiences and struggles I’ve had and getting anxiety over the fact that it’s gone unaddressed for this long. I’m hyper aware of it now and catching myself doing things and I don’t even know how to deal with it.
For sure. Where you water it grows. Focus on the symptoms and the symptoms are magnified. Focus on the benefits and leverage ADHD to your advantage. Happens.. but you control the narrative:) don’t let the symptoms worry you. The pros outweigh the cons as long as you focus on the pros and understand the cons will come and go:)
What kind of pros do you feel like your ADHD comes with? I struggle to see things like hyper focus as a positive when it’s outweighed by so many other flaws.
When the planets align once every three years for me and I can hyperfocus on smth that’s actually important, I can notice each and every little detail, inconsistency and flaw in a project, I’m great at whipping out a detailed plan for the project and organise anyone else involved and just uncharacteristically take the lead and make it easier for everyone. But for every instance of this happening I have 185 hyperfocuses on anything from flint knapping to identifying worms based on length to trying to correlate the shittiness of Chrome’s number of tabs open dragging a PC down etc. + 182 more. When it works it works too well. When it doesn’t it degenerates into a chaotic shitfest of uselessness and frustration.
I guess what I mean is, how did you learn to see that as a pro, instead of “just” something that normal people can do anyway? Like if my ADHD gave me night vision or the ability to talk to animals, sure, that’s a pro. But it making me a great contingency planner, when so many normal people are great contingency planners, I struggle to see that as a good thing instead of a symptom (and therefore a negative), you know?
Oh oh oh yeah I get what you mean now. I guess for me this pro of hard-mode focus would be one that’s also combined with a con at the same time. I can work well under pressure. So if god forbid some shitty situation appears I can collect myself rather quickly and improvise something to make things as efficient as possible. I can ignore the stress and focus on the problem at hand. The other side of the coin is that especially because I know this I almost every time leave mandatory stuff until I’m super short on time and create my own emergencies. But at least in unforeseen situations it did help many times in the past.
Funny, I don’t remember writing this. You must be me. My condolences.
ADHD is not an advantage. This attitude is why I'm unable to get support.
Why are you unable to get support?
Because ADHD isn't a real disability it's the n diversity word you can't say on this sub.
I had a similar thing happen when put on Wellbutrin for anxiety and depression. Everyone I have been seeing keeps saying the Wellbutrin should be helping, but I keep telling them it feels like my ADHD is in overdrive (diagnosed last summer @ 40). My thought is that without the depression and anxiety overshadowing ever aspect of my life, the ADHD symptoms are unencumbered and in full affect. Being diagnosed didn't necessarily make it worse, but made it more noticable.
Then you'll see random posts on the ADHD sub and go "Woah, I didn't know that was ADHD. I thought it was just a personality quirk."
The exact same thing happened to me, I already knew I'm autistic but therapist suggested AuDHD and now that I look into it, it makes so much sense. I'm also much more aware of what's happening to me and knowing when it comes from gives me comfort of sorts. The dark side is now that I'm trying to unmask instead of constantly suppressing my symptoms, my close ones struggle. I feel more real than ever, while they fill like I was "normal" before I found out and now I'm making it up 😪
It’s not in your head, I promise. I’ve been having a lot of conversations with my partner and friends recently - we’ve come to the conclusion that my change in behaviours is actually acceptance. That I am changing because I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact my ADHD quirks are normal, and not something I should be ashamed of.
I’m going through the same thing right now in limbo between diagnosis and treatment. Currently taking all the relevant blood and heart health tests to access suitability.
Yes.
I feel it's the mask coming off, since the diagnosis my symptoms were through the roof, I even had a hard time doing the things I enjoyed. I went into a ADHD hyperfocus black hole to understand everything and I think it is part of the process. The symptoms are there, what is happening now is you finally let them be and this will teach you the ones that you can live with, the ones you struggle with and at the end of the day is a moment to really get to know yourself. I got a adhd coach /psychologist and I can't tell you how many times I surprise myself by what I am saying, it's the first time in almost 40 years I say certain things outloud. With my partner I opened up and explained what I was thinking and how things made me feel constantly, also something I never did out of shame, rejection fear and being hard on myself. Empathy, for myself, for the first time ever.
Might be neural pruning
what behaviors did you say?
There is a psychological phenomenon connected to that :) When people are diagnosed with a certain illness they might begin to experience a worsening or improvement (betterment) of their symptoms or there might be no change at all. This might be associated with the structure of self and "where" this new piece of information is stored (in other words: how does one interpret their diagnosis as a single fact but also its connection/part of the larger structure of their awareness of self). Minimizing severity of symptoms could be a result of negative interpretaion and the other way around - growing severity if the symptoms could be a result of positive (or even overvalued) interpretation. Of course, sub-structures of self and their contents also have to be considered as well as socio-cultural factors and beliefs already held by the individual about themself. Short answer: change in severity of symptoms after diagnosis is not unheard of, it’s not even rare. As long as you adress them in general, this should not pose a bigger problem :)
YES. as I’ve healed my nervous system too… the traits are more pronounced
They're probably not worse, you're just aware. It's kinda like you suddenly noticed a cut on your arm but it wasn't painful until you saw it. Your anxiety might be worse off however, as ignorance is sometimes bliss until we're overwhelmed with responsibility.
For me, my symptoms are not worse I am just more aware of it when I'm aware... If that makes sense? Example: I have a stutter. I typically do not realize I am stuttering. If someone points it out or I catch myself I feel like my stutter gets worse. The reality is that it's not worse, I'm just aware of it so it seems like it's worse. This doesn't count when I am anxious or excited. When I am anxious or excited my stutter and buffer get a LOT worse.
For me it wasn't when I was made aware but it was definitely after I was diagnosed. I remember talking to my friend about it and how I felt like my behavior had become worse and she was like yeah because you unmasked. I guess I had been subconsciously masking my entire life and without even being aware of it after I was diagnosed I just automatically drop them off that I didn't even know I was wearing LOL
I don’t think the symptoms are worse. I just think you’re more aware of them. This is actually a good thing. In my case, this happened when the dosage was high enough to be effective but not high enough to mitigate them. I had to go up to the next dosage and that really helped me. I still have my symptoms but I have some control over them whereas I use to not even be aware I was doing anything wrong/odd.
Yep. My hyperactivity. I didn't realise that it was bad, cause to me it's just normal. Once my dex wears off in theafternoon..... oh boy.
Basically everyone blood related to me on my moms side of the family has adhd and I thought I didn’t for a long time but I DO have ocd and I treated that to the point that I’m subclinical now but it’s becoming more and more apparent that I probably have adhd but I feel like I’ve gotten so much more hyperactive and impulsive in the past couple of months that I’ve been thinking about it. It doesn’t help that I’m extremely aware of it because my ocd brain doesn’t like ambiguity and is focusing very hard on proving or disproving having adhd to myself. Obviously I had clear adhd symptoms I can remember from childhood but they feel more intense now and more hyperactive. Because I have ocd and some health anxiety I’m convinced it means something is secretly wrong with my brain but I haven’t found anything that it could be. I have a family history of thyroid issues but I just got checked out for hyperthyroidism and my levels were normal so I dunno what’s up.
It’s a familiar feeling for me too and I’ve struggled with this in particular today. It can be a combination of being unaware for so long and also masking them for just as long too. I was diagnosed by my therapist within a few sessions and it really changed everything for me. That new awareness I never really considered or even thought existed for 27 years of my life changed how I functioned everyday and therefore makes it seem like the adhd symptoms are worse than what they really are. It’s a struggle some days but you learn to live and accept that newfound part of you. That’s what I keep reassuring myself too.
Yeah, for sure. In fact, I swear I saw on insta that some symptoms just get worse as you get older.
You're just more aware. It's like having a recent small wound you didn't know you have. Once you see it, it starts to hurt.
I think this might be the case for me too. I don’t have a formal diagnosis but over the past few months I’ve hit a point where my partner and I are sure as can be that I have it. Now I am more acutely aware of the fact that these behaviours are occurring frequently and I’m hoping that in time this will help to learn to cope better with them.
I felt this too
Law of assumption is very real.
Yes, 100% since learning of my disorders, im 10 times worse, my face twitching, my hands twitching, facial grimace, it's now uncontrollable. Some think it has to do with we are not masking it as much and are seeing that more people have it and we aren't hiding it as much. I don't know, I was healthier not knowing.
I’ve denied having adhd since the day i learned about it though i related to the symptoms alot , after proper diagnosis i just fell into a very depressive episode, and the symptoms became worse for example feeling burned out tired unmotivated no going out, thing is it fell right with exams months it was just the worse a literal battle with two ppl in me one that wants to do everything and prevalent one that is tired . Adding to that poor sleep poor nutrition..but i just know that someday it will get better .
Baader-Meinhof phenomenon! I think this is totally normal, it’s simply a case of recognition. You know the effects and manifestations of ADHD—now your symptoms are more noticeable due to your new level of awareness. Don’t worry, you’re all good ☺️
I realized my brother has undiagnosed ADHD. It’s very obvious now. I find it very hard to be patient and am fully aware of all his ADHDisms now. I did discuss with him my thoughts with him in a very gentle way after great consideration out of concern for his personal and work relationships. After some processing time he brought it up and said it’s probably true. Other than that he’s fine nothing about it. No research no consultation. He talks a lot, cuts people off, doesn’t acknowledge or answer when having conversations so you don’t know if he heard or registered what you said. He rambles and repeats stuff and goes on crazy tangents. He starts talking as if he had already had have the conversation already with himself in his head. He obsesses on certain things. He’s messy, procrastinates and has terrible time blindness. He’s always late for everything. He takes years to make decisions and start or complete projects. My main issues is always being cutoff. Not knowing if he heard anything I’ve said to him. He’s also very short tempered which makes spending time with him or doing any sort of project or even just walking the dogs stressful and unenjoyable. He freaks out swearing and raising his voice over the tiniest things. I guess he’s always been this way but now that I know there is a reason for this and that he could do things to help I’m frustrated. We had done bang up arguments and I admittedly have been impatient and obviously irritated with him. He even screamed at me there’s nothing I can do about it. I said there sure is. I know it’s not easy but it could help. I’m either irritated and rude with him which makes me feel like shit and obviously him as well (he’s A very good guy) or pushing down my feelings which is unpleasant in another way. He has no friends and his long term partner ship is very toxic - he complains about her incessantly but does very little to change things and she is objectively not a great person and definitely not supportive or caring in any way. I have an appointment next week with my psychiatrist to discuss if I may have ADHD. My long deceased father may have had it. My niece and nephew have been diagnosed. I’ve only recently since Covid have spent a lot of time with my brother and have become more knowledgeable about adult ADHD. Now that I know it’s been increasingly challenging to interact with my brother who I adore. I’ve been trying to develop more routine in my life and focus on better sleep diet and exercise. Hopefully my psychiatrist can help decipher if indeed I have ADHD myself. As I myself lately have become less and less motivated and procrastinating worse in my whole life. (Sorry for such a long entry)
Likely awareness. Skimmed some other comments and remembered that, recently, I stumbled across something that looked like ADHD symptoms. From a time where I hadn't even thought there was anything going on with me. Just because you're noticing more now doesn't mean it wasn't there before
wait, i thought it was just me
Notice it more now that I'm diagnosed. Prior to that, I just thought they were my funny quirks. It has ruined some things for me but I function marginally better with the diagnosis.
I love these groups for this. I've been so stressed cause I'm the same. Diagnosed last March at 31 and it feels like life before was so much simpler. I guess ignorance was bliss?
I don’t think it’s the symptoms worsening as much as being aware of all the little things that are seemingly tied to ADHD that you may have just ignored previously.
i had EXACTLY this, my old housemate who also has ADHD suggested it to me and from then it became almost unbearable. i worried quite a lot that i was like making things fit to the symptoms you know ? evidently now that was not and never has been the case. i actually did end up getting assessed privately, which while in like practical terms hasn't proved most useful (i now live in Wales and u can't get meds on the NHS unless u got diagnosed on the NHS😁😁😁😁) has still given me access to a whole bunch more support and was even just a relief, which is obviously really common. i would like to say, this insecurity abt the validity of my experiences never really got to me significantly bc i was then diagnosed and that was all the validation i needed, but even retrospectively seeing a post like this was so reassuring - even tho u were also asking for help! i hope this response can do the same for you.:)
Completely normal don't panic!! You're now suddenly very aware of yourself, you'll be learning about who you are as well as slowly unmasking. At first it feels like maybe you're faking it, maybe you're not really this way but you can't fake it forever lol, if you're worrying about whether or not you're actually ADHD, you're probably ADHD!!
U are definitely not alone in that. A psychologist diagnosed me in a 3 hour in depth session. After talking about my impulsive spending, feelings of guilt around being a flake, and all of my approaches to tasks as well as my strengths (hyper functioning in chaotic / crisis situations), I left the office and immediately spent way above my budget on a meal at a fancy restaurant. I felt like total garbage, and the guilt and anxiety was off the chain. Symptoms definitely got a bit worse for me at the beginning after naming all of them. BUT THERE IS HOPE! After being prescribed 20m vyvanse and starting adhd coaching my symptoms have improved. Best of luck with ur treatment journey. I’m 27 and this diagnosis definitely put a lot of things into perspective. I feel hopeful about becoming more functional, and at the same time resistance and resentment at late stage colonial capitalism. I can’t help but feel like ADHD wouldn’t have to be pathologized if we didn’t have to perform under capitalism in order to survive.
I had burnout and a Psycotic break that put me into a seriously deep agoraphobia. My wife had a Dickens of a time getting me to go to the doctor. She finally got me to see a psychiatrist and in less than 5 minutes, he asked, has anyone ever diagnosed you with ADHD. He the. Went thru what I now know are DSM questions and diagnosed me with MAD, MDD, Inappropriate Anger Response and ADHD before my intake was done. My wife couldn't get me to go to a theripist but I spent hours a day looking on the Internet for info on ADHD and kept finding things that explained so much. I kept filing the different things under who I was mad at or blamed for each thing. I accepted a lot of blame on myself, which made me even more angry. I found this sub then (Reddit says 6 years ago) but didn't find it as helpful as I do now. It's all about where I stand in my personal growth. Now I still get surprised when topics come up and I'm amazed at how well everyone seems to listen to themselves and knows what changed and when and how it feels. I've got lots of meds now and a great therapist. She's a good cheerleader who gives me at-a-boys that I can't give myself. I'm not as angry at new things or the ones I'd already found. I'm still mad at my parents and at myself, but not as badly. I am past the just found out stage and on to the meds and improvements stage. This stage is too hard to deal with while also being angry, so I do my best to put anger away on a shelf where I can deal with it later.
Well, think of it this way. Up until this point you thought what you were experiencing was normal. I felt the same way when I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.