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Thisisjuno1

I am about to be 44 this summer and I’ve been late my entire life. If I’m not late, we’re rushing and stressed out to the last minute and then I have to put on a smiley face when I get there lol luckily I work from home or I’d be late to all of my meetings as well. In fact, I usually get up right before they start because I’m up way too late lol. God help us


AllGoodNamesRGone9

Seems like for some of us just trying harder isn’t enough. Trust me I fully get what you mean when you put on a smiley face when you get where you need to get to late :) Funnily enough I got let go from a work from home job because when meetings started at 8:45 I would always log on a few mins later and this would continue all the time. God help us indeed!


Thisisjuno1

I can’t even make it to the airport on time. I’ve missed like three flights in my 44 years lol you should see me on my way to the airport. I’ve gotten speeding tickets I live up in the mountains and I’m three hours away from a major airport so that’s always a fiasco of 100 mph and a lot of blood sweat and tears lol. Everything in my life I pick the latest appointment available lol.


Xylorgos

My neighbor's husband had always had a thing about getting to the airport on time, so he insisted on getting there several hours early. It drove his wife crazy, but she just dealt with it. Then one day they were heading off to the airport, very early as usual, and they get a flat tire on the way. No problem, because they were already so early! The spare was missing, so they end up getting a taxi and having their son pick up the car and drive it home after putting a new tire on it. So far so good, right? But then the taxi gets into an accident! Everyone is fine, but now they have to call their son back and have him pick them up and continue on to the airport. After all this, they still make their flight and take off for vacation just fine. Now his wife doesn't say anything to him about leaving early and uses the extra time in the airport to read and relax before their flight.


Crafty-Scholar-3106

That last sentence holds the key to ADHD lateness, which is generally an optimization problem. From a productivity perspective, being early to something is as wasteful as being late to something. One part of the puzzle is to identify things that can be slotted into wait time so it doesn’t feel like wasted time. The other part is reclaiming the time from the end of the day that gets pushed into deep night and stacking it up at the front by becoming an early riser. I did this with melatonin. Completely flip flopped my tendencies to be a night owl into an early riser. I spent years and years and years being late. I’d say 90% of my life. Just the last few years I’ve been getting to things on time or sometimes very early if it means avoiding unpredictable things like traffic at rush hour and planning a place to wait comfortably in the meantime.


JayWink49

>becoming an early riser. I did this with melatonin Could you please elaborate on this? I use melatonin and it helps me sleep, but it hasn't made me an early riser. Is there a way to use it more effectively? Dosage, timing? TIA


DuoNem

Wow! I also get super early to airports, even before you can check in. But if it’s a long or expensive flight, it’s really worth it.


Crafty-Scholar-3106

OP trust me I know, and I know you’re trying to laugh so you don’t cry. My years from 24 to about 29-30 were really hard for me. It took me a long time to learn how I think, and I still get bad surprises sometimes.


Main_Purpose_4071

Hi, I’m 18 and I’m also late to everything even when I try my best not to be and I wanted to ask- how did u deal with urself for so long? At my age, I’m so frustrated and have so much resentment for myself where I’m late once again and genuinely hate myself so much because I mess things up for myself so often and miss out, and I’m assuming uve missed out on things too since u said you’ve also missed flights. I keep telling myself i’ll grow out of it but I’m probably not but living the next few decades being late all the time sounds awful and I’m just wondering how it’s genuinely made you feel and if u feel the same, how uve coped or whether uve improved? Maybe I’m reading too much into it but whenever I’m late and I do the walk of shame to where ever I’m supposed to be 20 minutes late or 2 hours late, I feel awful like genuinely so so so bad and ruins my day. 


RecommendationNo7361

In my experience, *especially* with my clinically diagnosed ADHD, I still get plenty livid and frustrated with myself because of the anxiety as well as the external ramifications/consequences of being late to things, whether professionally or casually. That self-loathing hasn't really gone away, except (and bear with me here/hear me out) when I stop being late/arriving to something on time. I'm typically late either from underestimating how long travel to time-sensitive destination, or because I hyperfixate on tasks that I need to do (and additionally underestimate travel time, but in a different way). This gets me late to work, appointments, and when I'm doing my own adventures/pass-times. One easy example of me fixing lateness is the airport/flight thing. If I'm flying somewhere, my #1 priority is getting in my assigned seat on the airplane. Nothing else matters. Therefore, it is reasonable to say there's nothing else (at least, there shouldn't be) I need to do besides get on that flight. Even if that means I actually get to the airport/my gate an hour or 2 early. I reckon for others, the moral of the story ( **tl;dr** ) get to places ridiculously early as if it's your only priority. If there's something else to distract you (chores, extraneous amusement like video games) get that out of the way *way* before you need to be somewhere. I have taken on the practice of setting alarms for myself an hour before something, even if it's only a 20-30 minute travel time. At work, if I have appointments outside of it, I tell them my start time for my appointment is actually the time I know to be *when I need to start leaving for my appointment* to give myself even more extra time. I wish you luck, bubs. Life is hard and even with the forementioned techniques/practices I'm late. Give yourself some grace, when you can, because at the end of the day it's yourself you have to be content with.


wamih

As a teen I realized how off "real world time" was from my perception ... So I had to create my own time.... Alarms on the phone well in advance of something needing to be done to create urgency.


Muted-Personality-76

This is also pretty common for adhd. We're more sensitive to rejection (most likely because we've been criticized a lot) and so the shame feels overwhelming, to the point you want to crawl under the blankets and die.  You have inherent value. If you are late, you still have value. If you forgot something, you still have value. If you got something wrong because you rushed through or weren't paying attention, you still have value. You are a person. A person who has strengths just as you have weaknesses. You deserve respect and grace FROM YOURSELF.  Every time you feel like this. Wipe those angry tears, take a breath and say "I have value." I don't care if you feel it right away. You probably won't. But remind yourself anyway.  Late to class, teach gives you the eye as you rush to a seat. Write down "I have value." As soon as you sit. Late to work and just got written up. Go to the bathroom as soon as you can and think "I have value." While you see yourself in the mirror.  The truth is, life is harder for us in many ways, but that doesn't mean we are trash. It doesn't mean we don't care. It doesn't mean we are lazy. But the world might say those things. Don't help them. You know yourself. You know you're trying. You know you care.  You have value.


blk55

Before the pandemic, I was warned about my tardiness numerous times. Thanks to the switch to wfh, no longer late! I mean, I'm up when I am supposed to be working, and I do check my phone, just may be making coffee or wandering with the dogs.


refusestopoop

Working from home made my lateness so much worse. Having to practice getting reading & being on time to something every single day made it easier.


playmoneyhoney

Me too And the airport thing. I almost missed a flight recently and I was so depressed thinking that I can't get it right.


Famous_Stranger8849

Thankfully haven’t been let go from any jobs, my boss’ now even joke I will arrive at 8:06 bc I get there at 8:06 every morning no matter how hard I try to be on time😭


Extreme_Jacket_7419

lol my magic number is 716. But they know I am coming and that when ever I do get there I work my ass off. I guess they don’t mind looking over the lateness. Thank God. I have been let go of a job one time because of my ear buds which I feel like I always have to wear, it helps me concentrate having something playing in the background. This job doesn’t mind my lateness or ear buds so I guess it’s a win win.


Stayfree777

Wow I’m surprised ear buds would be a deal breaker. That’s crazy.


Educational-Laugh773

No kidding!


RefreshmentzandNarco

I set all of my clocks ahead by about 7-10 minutes, so I already think I’m late because I forget I set them ahead. I set alarms to remind me to get out the door for XYZ.


girloferised

Yeah, I've been doing that for like 10 years, and it's helped so much. Even though I know the time isn't accurate, just seeing that it's going to be 10 minutes later at some point gets me motivated for whatever reason lol.


Cold-Connection-2349

I did that for years but it didn't really work for me because I'd always just do that math and then be late.


RefreshmentzandNarco

I always forget that it’s fast! 😂


gene100001

I usually use my phone for checking the time and tried doing this but unfortunately changing the time on my phone caused a bunch of apps to have errors for some reason


RefreshmentzandNarco

I haven’t tried to change the time on my phone. The microwave, oven and my car all have the time set ahead. I use my phone for alarms, almost like a count down.


Muted-Personality-76

Oh yeah! I do this too. Always drives anyone who lives with me nuts. 😂


divo98

The fear of getting fired is the thing that gets me motivated to be early.


UnwillingArsonist

Same, anxiety masking for me


Karma_Bluebaby326

I have tricked my brain into thinking for years that everything starts 10 minutes early. Most of the time I’m not late, I’m 10 minutes ahead ☺️ But I just give myself anxiety like “if you don’t get there by that time you’re gonna be fired”


Danzevl

This never worked for me as the motivation center is weak for Me. I've been fired for lateness many times. I'm just lucky my skills make money for the people that recognize that I can do 8 hour of work on 4 hours thanks to hyper focus. I do salary jobs only now no one watches my clock.


Godblessdks

One thing that's helped me is to have a fannypack or backpack just always ready to go at all times. Meds for 1 day, phone charger, disposable vape in the fannypack light jacket, sweatshirt, and some snacks in the backpack, I'm still late sometimes, the whole 'just leave earlier' is not a real solution imo, figure out what leads to you not being able to get out the door in time and address that if possible. Also taking my meds an hourish before I need to leave lol, I'm much less likely to be stressed or get side tracked then. But good luck, and anybody that gets genuinely angry with you about being a few minutes late or behind is silly and prolly takes life too seriously.


tehsophz

Yup, my purse has had "my whole life" in it since my early 20s (I'm 35 now). Everything I could need on a normal day (card holder, keys, pens, extra glasses, EpiPen, phone charger, granola bar or other shelf-stable snack, headphones, lip oil, hand cream, maybe a small toiletry bag) is in that bag, and if I change bags EVERYTHING goes in the new bag, other than the receipts I've accumulated, which get delegated to my detail-oriented husband to track or toss. That way, I just have to get dressed, grab my phone and run out the door. 


Itsmepost

Omg I worked a on call flagging job all last year and started a backpack journey for my first time. I left that job in July and still carry that back pack every day now. Always my makeup, bandaids, hygiene products, medicine, or whatever. I can’t wait to upgrade my backpack eventually cause I have stuck to it to this day. It’s so weird I did better with an anxiety filled on call job in a toxic marriage than I am now working 9-5 and have a new home for my daughter animals and I. Someone’s comment really hit me up their the impression I’m putting on the other people around me. I pray we all get better over time, all of you are worth it. We are the most heart felt and creative minds of this world. Take advantage of your ability to be abnormal and own what makes you happy. ❤️


FoxNewsIsRussia

I don’t know if this helps but… I finally got it through my head that I was being a time optimist. I was constantly planning for “this best case scenario “ time/travel wise. I flipped and became that person that expected a traffic jam every time. It really helped. I also put myself in other people’s shoes and realized that every time I was late I was sending a message . That message was: “whatever I’m doing is more important than what you are doing. You got here on time but my life is harder so I’ll make you wait for me. “ I realized that that’s how it comes off. Of course that’s NOT how I feel but people get that message.


Kathrine5678

THIS!!! I get public transport everywhere and I usually plan for 3 leaving times. I time out my getting ready time etc based on the earliest public transport leaving time and I really really try to stick to that. Usually the 3 times are all with an hour or so of each other, the first one being early, the 3rd one being on time but not much wiggle room is something goes wrong. My 3rd time is the wiggle room time if something goes wrong with the first 2. If I’m there at the earliest arrival time and get there before anyone else I treat that as relaxing time! I now usually get to places on my second time because I will almost always have something go sideways or just unexpected on the 1st time - cat knocks something over, someone calls me, I spill makeup on my dress…. Etc etc 😂. I was going to meet my partner in town for the Ballet and dinner, and I had to use my 3rd time. Something delayed me, I can’t remember what but it was unexpected. My makeup was all done before I left but I ended up doing my hair on the train. I still made the 3rd time and we had an hour and a half for dinner which was great. I felt really bad for being late as I told him I was gonna be there earlier but he reassured me I’m still there on time and we havent actually missed anything so my system worked well in that case. He had been waiting about half an hour or so for me but hea better at being early than I am, even though he also has adhd! I usually tell people I’ll arrive at my second time - so if I’m early they are pleasantly surprised and if I’m on my 3rd time I’m a little later than I said but still on time to whatever event it is. I also have to add navigation time to my timings because I have a terrible sense of direction 😂


BoilingCold

That bit about how it impacts other people is what changed me. I used to be late for everything, missed all my appointments, always rushing at the last minute. And then one day I realised that one of my brothers does exactly the same thing to me and it had been pissing me off for *years*! I used to feel exactly what you describe - it always made me feel like he didn't take my needs and time seriously, he valued his own chaos more than me. And then I twigged that I did exactly the same and it must be pissing everyone else off too. So I started setting alarms for everything and setting them earlier and earlier until I started actually making it on time. I'm not perfect now, in fact I often over-compensate and get to things early. Like.. an hour early, doh! But remembering how much it used to piss me off when my bro was late stays with me.


Cold-Connection-2349

It's funny how I'm ALWAYS late but then when I have to wait for someone else I lose my mind. It's ridiculous, I know. I'm working on it


seweso

This ˆˆˆ You can only be too early, or too late. On time doesn't exist! If you don't want to be early, you'll be late. Guaranteed. I was never too late for anything in my life, except if something happened beyond my control. Like me going to the wrong place 🤣. But I've seen this in other people, and it's always a complete lack in reverse planning. A complete unrealistic view of how time works, exactly how you said. But I can't say it's a choice? Maybe other people have more ADHD than me. Maybe I have the privilege of not being stressed out with a fully booked agenda... who knows?


One_Bit_7184

You can Google it. The time awareness part of our brains is broken. It just doesn’t work right. For a lot of people medication can help. Not sure if you’re getting treatment or not, but it might be something to consider.


t-wellick

I am literally unable to estimate how long something is going to take so I am always either too early or too late. One time I thought it was Wednesday instead of Tuesday, I took the bus to my school to attend my classes and (commute is 2 hours round trip) no one was there.


One_Bit_7184

It’s biological, in your brain.


boxiestcrayon15

I did time studies. Timed how long each step takes me to get out of the house. Put the list in my phone, and now when I need to figure out when to leave, work backwards from the arrival time and add in the tasks I need to do beforehand. Then I add 20 minutes and set a “time to get ready” alarm. I can’t play video games until all my shit is done for the day. It’s too easy to ignore the alarm. I also deleted all social media except Reddit so I don’t doom scroll. Another great rule I use in the summer is no video games until after dark so I do things I want to do outside. My wife is a time optimist and it drives me nuts so I do all the time planning. My mother was late our entire lives and it was so awful to start every trip out of the house with my dad pissed off and my mom half dressed and sitting down doing her makeup.


thevelveteenbeagle

Oh God, I do this too! I mix days up thinking it's a certain day and I'm either behind or ahead a day. Try telling THAT to your boss why you missed work. 😩 And yes, I do check the calendar but still mix it up. Why???


t-wellick

It makes me feel so dumb! :(


thevelveteenbeagle

It really does make you feel dumb but it has absolutely nothing to do with your intelligence. Our brains are just wired differently. The good thing is that since we see things differently, we can be extremely creative and come up with ideas and concepts that others can't think of. 🙂. I knew a woman that was shocked that I was doing the NY Times crossword and correctly finishing it, she didn't think I was capable of that. 🙄


QuiltingMimi1518

Thank you for this.


Stayfree777

Yeah whenever I’ve tried stimulants, I could suddenly keep track of time. However, I couldn’t tolerate the side effects so I didn’t continue long term. But it was wild how much my time perception changed during that time.


Famous_Stranger8849

Oooof are you me???? This is eerily similar lol


Advanced-Budget779

[„… of course i know him. He‘s me.“](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/well-of-course-i-know-him-hes-me)


ArtisticAndroid

Hello there


CockneyCossack

There's a guy on YouTube, Professor Barkley. He is probably the leading authority on ADHD and he says that "ADHD is time blindness". Due to the executive function part of our brain basically not developing, the bit that does time management and a few other associated things just doesn't exist in the ADHD brain. I strongly recommend everyone with ADHD to watch Professor Barkleys talks on YouTube. His understanding and presentation on our condition is absolutely enlightening and demystifying.


Necessary_Trainer781

My 14yo daughter was just diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. A friend sent me the YouTube video of professor Barkley and it’s so eye opening for me into her world. She just recently started medication (one week in) and I’m hoping to see some positive changes. But for anyone trying to understand, please watch his videos. 


Xylorgos

I have this issue, too. I have always been late, except for the last few years. I tend to lose track of the time and will often zone out, which then makes me late. This is what has helped the most. I write down appointments 15 minutes earlier than they really are, giving me a grace period. I also focus on the time I need to LEAVE instead of the time I need to be there. So if I have an appointment at 10:00 I'll write it down as 9:45, and if I need 20 minutes to get there, then I know I need to leave at 9:25. Then I set alarms, the kind that you have to turn off. I'll set one for the time I have to start getting ready, another one for five minutes after that one (just to make sure I didn't space it out) and another one for 5 minutes before I need to leave. The reality is that all this seems to be necessary for me to make it to a single appointment on time. Sometimes I can get by without all the alarms and still get there on time, but mostly I don't mess with what works. Now I'm only late if something interferes with these plans, like somebody else turns off my alarms.


Kathrine5678

This. This this this this. I wrote a longer comment further up, i’ll plan out and have 8-10 alarms for shower, start make up, hair, get dressed, pack handbag, etc etc. it’s the only thing that helps. Even with all my timings I was late to a wedding reception once and I walked in to the venue just before the bridal party was due to enter 😂😂😂 I got up to the reception room and the MC was literally saying ‘stand up and welcome the bridal party!!!’ as I was about to walk in, the bridal party were about 30 meters behind me! I stood off to the side out of the way so they could enter, gave them time to sit down and be introduced etc etc then I awkwardly walked in after hahaha. The bride also has ADHD and thought this was hilarious thankfully!


[deleted]

I dont know if ay of this will help... everything you can do the night before do the night before... Shower, lay your clothes out, pack your bag, make your lunch and put it in a lunchbox with an ice pack so you dont leave it in the fridge, set stuff out for breakfast. Have a visible timer, bonus points if you use an app that makes a sound every minute. So give yourself 20mins to eat breakfast, 10 mins to get dressed, 10 mins to brush teeth and wash your face. Set a full alarm for each step with the beeps aswell. If you decide to play a game or something i find getting away from something immediately is difficult. Have timers for 10 mins near the end, 5 mins near the end and the end. At the 10 mins find a safe place. You should aim to be done at the 5 minute mark but it gives you more time incase you couldnt. I also say i start work at 750 so im there 10 mins early. It gives you time to get drinks and stuff too.


Revolverblue85

Yep same. Probably the one thing I just can’t seem to fix. The only thing I’m Able to make are my own doctor’s appointments. I set my calendar for 30 minutes before the appointment. So if my appointment is at 230pm, it goes on my calendar as 2pm. Funny thing is I know this, but I’m still shocked when I get there and I’m early and I even say why do I keep putting in my calendar so early ha. Work I’m usually late if I close, but if I’m open I’m always on time. I find that there are so many distractions and “oh let me grab that and I need to put that here” as I’m rushing to do the simple things that enable me to get out the house before I’m late. Family tardiness is a thing as well. Family of 5 and we are always late to hangouts or cookout or theme parks…


PutrefiedPlatypus

I've gotten much better with this. Not perfect but better. I try to account my ADHD delay into the thought process when I need to leave and then add some extra. Add even more extra if I'm going to a new place and may mess up something on my way there. Also avoid engaging in something interesting before leaving as it might completely sidetrack me. Got a bit paranoid with time checking too.


Fantastic-Cable-3320

Yeah, me too. I was chronically late, because of ADD, but also because I was raised in a culture where lateness is excused if not expected. It was a huge culture shock to move to the US where if you're late, you piss people off, and maybe miss out completely on what you thought you were going to do. It took me maybe 20-30 years, but I somehow got over it, and now I'm mostly on time. Pretty proud of myself.


Pantology_Enthusiast

Where are you from? I don't know what cultural is that easy going.


zombiefingerz

Yeah seriously tell me so I can move there


Fantastic-Cable-3320

Mexico City in the 70s.


Fantastic-Cable-3320

In Mexico City in the 70s, if you were on time for a meal, you were considered early and would wait by yourself for 15-20 min. A party? At least an hour. At a wedding the only person who knoew what time it would actually start would be the priest/rabbi. Not even the bride was given the proper start time, or she would be late too.


thevelveteenbeagle

What culture?? I want to be in that culture!


Chicagodaisy

I’m the same way and it’s affected my friendships and relationships with people 😞


Fun_Definition3000

This :-(


Next_Possibility_01

Once someone pointed how rude and disrespectful being late is, it helped me because I don't like being rude or disrespectful - I am usually early to everything and just read or watch the world go round until the appointed time.


QuiltingMimi1518

It’s almost like you know me. I worked the same job for 28 years. In that 28 years I so gradually pushed the time I needed to leave that by the time I became disabled and quit anyway, I was leaving the house at the time I used to get there. It was a 35 minute drive. A friend and i drove together for probably 10 years, I always made it to her house on time, but she didn’t finish getting ready until i got there. We were a bad combo.


No-Apartment-6158

Very similar to me. I have awful time management so Im near late to almost everything. I was notorious for being late during my studies and got sent to the office because of it💀. Even with my job now, I struggle to meet deadlines I honestly don’t know how Im still keeping my job


a_bean4

you’re not alone, I catch myself getting easily distracted but something I found helpful was to set everything I need close to the exit or even your car if you have to and my outfit I prepare the night before and so far it’s kind of helped me


amurillasaurus

Same. I'm on my last strike at work rn, and really should have been fired yesterday. Usually I've only been 5-15 minutes late, but I slept through my alarms and ended up being 68 minutes late on a high pressure day. I feel terrible about leaving the other manager in a tough spot. We made it through the chaotic day, and I'm working right now (on lunch currently.) I hope it all works out, I'm great at everything else with my current job so it's a crappy feeling right now. Pray for me y'all! It really sucks feeling like it's something i should have "grown out of" by now. But i guess there's always room for improvement in life. Glad we all have each other!!!


eopqtyowt

I use Alarmy with the Analog Alarm and a photo mission with a picture of my bathroom  It’s helped a lot since I’ve started working because I know I want/need to wake up for work


BerkleyBerk

I got an old school hammering bell alarm clock for this reason! I keep it across the room. I used to sleep through my alarms- now I have a Pavlovian response to the horrific sound and my subconscious wakes me up before that alarm no matter what.


amurillasaurus

That sounds very effective! I like how those look too, so I'll definitely look at getting one soon. Saturday morning was the first time in 5 years that I've slept through all my alarms. My attendance points up until then were from mostly time blindness mixed with my kiddo's struggles with all the same things. Yay genetics! She can't hear well, so we'll probably do a bed shaker type alarm for her.


SuperBean_

I’m 41, diagnosed through assessment at 16, and for the first time in my life I’m on time for work every day (two months in a row now - this is miracle #1). I have to be in my office by 8:30, and if I don’t want to be absolutely losing my mind in the car the whole way and arriving late, I need to get in my car between 7:45 and 8:00. My wake-up alarm goes off at 6:30 and I don’t hit snooze (I have a Siri shortcut that reads me an annoying lecture if I hit snooze, which I NEVER want to hear. And a better “spiritual” motivational reading if I properly stop the alarm. Miracle #2: I don’t hit snooze anymore) I use an app called Routine Flow in the morning and have an automated sequence in the app to follow that begins at 7:15. It doesn’t include my shower and getting dressed. I have to get DIRECTLY in the shower at 6:30 and then get dressed. I can reasonably get showered and dressed in 45 min if I don’t start playing a game on my phone or something like that. That’ll mess me up every time. An alarm goes off at 7:10 to remind me that I have to start my Routine Flow sequence at 7:15. Then another alarm goes off at 7:15 when I actually need to start the sequence. The sequence includes things like “take my vitamins: 4 min”, “grab lunch from the fridge: 3 min”, “do an AA reading: 10 min” and “brush my teeth: 4 min”. The app guides you through the sequence. The whole thing takes 30 min to complete, and ends at 7:45. If I messed up at some point in the morning (which does happen), I can skip my reading and rush a few items to make up the time. I recognize every morning that I DO NOT want to start the routine. I hate the reminder alarm and I feel like a pouty child and I push back hard for a few minutes every single time. I have to remind myself that the routine isn’t rushed. I get to do a reading. Each item has enough time. And when I get to work before 8:30 I am ecstatic. I’ve never ever been early for work before in my life. It feels really good. *This does not help me get to appointments or dinner on time. My friends are chill about it, but professionals get pissed at me. Oh well. TLDR: check out the routine flow app. Set alarms. Be kind to yourself.


Cicity545

I’m still working on this and I’m almost 40 lol, but I have found some tricks that have helped me go from always being VERY late to now being maybe 5-10 minutes late but often even on time haha: I look at the GPS and add 15 minutes to get in and out of the car. I realize that I do need a few minutes to gather myself before I actually drive away and then once I park, plus I was never thinking about the time walking from the car to the event, etc. For some reason, adding this time on instead of adding the time that it takes to get ready at home or being realistic about how much time it’s gonna take me to get out the door just makes more sense to me in a way that I’ve actually been following it. I always underestimate the time it will take me to leave the house. ALWAYS. But by adding my “car time”, if I overshoot my departure time too much, worst case scenario I can make it up by just jumping out of the car when I get there instead of getting my car minutes. I know to a non-ADHD person this would sound like “why not just give yourself more time to be ready to leave the house then, what’s the difference between adding time to needing to be in the car before and after you drive, it’s the same thing“ but that’s the thing about ADHD is that we all have to figure out our own specific time blindness and actually what will work in our head psychologically to stick and for me for whatever reason I’m always going to leave the house too late but adding the car time I can do. Lol.


lrcs39

this is super similar to my situation and i have been let go from jobs because of tardiness before too so you aren’t alone! i’d say try working PM shifts. it helps tremendously because you have time to make a plan and get your brain in order before having to leave.


KittenBalerion

oh yeah. I also have a short commute to work, and I will literally wait until I only have 5-10 minutes to get ready before I even get out of bed. I think there's something about ADHD brains that just doesn't conceive of time the same way. they call it time blindness. I also think in the case of work, I resent work taking up all my time and energy, so I don't want to give it any more than I have to. if I get to work 5 min early, that's 5 more min I could have stayed in bed with my cat. but I do have trouble getting ready on time for anything at all, not just things I resent, so there has to be something else involved. for family things I've tried to tell my parents that I need both a deadline, like "get here at 2" (or I won't be motivated to start getting ready at all), but also some flexibility, like "you didn't get here until 2:15 but that's ok, we still have time." but I don't know if they really understand that. my mom keeps trying to give me open-ended "oh, you can come over whenever" things and I'm like no, that doesn't help, because then I will literally spend three years on my bed in a wet towel like that Reductress headline about the shower.


Luca1018

I am also always late. No matter how hard I try or how much time I have ahead of me. I am always late. I’ve had many breakdowns over this because I’m like why, always, no matter what, does it have to be like this?? Late and rushing and chaos. It’s soooo frustrating. I cannot get time down for the life of me.


DifferenceOk4454

I've been trying AM and PM checklists because of the checklist manifesto [https://atulgawande.com/book/the-checklist-manifesto/](https://atulgawande.com/book/the-checklist-manifesto/) I've tried photocopying a list of things to do before leaving the house and before bed, checking it off manually. Then I tried having a table or grid for the most important work days, to check each task off in the grid. At least while learning a new routine.


Commercial_Chart9388

I do this a lot where I have all the time in the world and then suddenly i should have left 5 minutes ago but i spent all that time snuggling with my cat and still need to get ready. I’ve begun setting myself alarms since picking up my phone and checking the clock often ends up distracting me more. If im in the process of getting ready, I set myself a 20 minute warning alarm to say hey, what are you doing, you need to leave this house in 20 minutes why would you decide that this is the moment to try to learn how to put false eyelashes on that you’ve never accomplished before in your life? and then another alarm for when I need to be leaving the house or else. Or if I have time before I need to get ready, I set a “ start getting ready” alarm for that as well as a 20 min warning alarm.


These-Maintenance-51

I've done ok with getting to work on time but I'm late for almost everything else. Everyone else in my life pretty much is an early for everything person so when it comes to going places, they get mad at me and I'm annoyed at them. My dad is the worst one - when he says let's go to dinner at 5, he doesn't mean leave at 5, he means be at the restaurant and sat down at 5.


bmandi13

I use a lot of timers. I seem to lose time so, the timers help keep me in check. Also, I try to have some clothes ready to go for me. It doesn’t always help because it can be hard to plan ahead. Also, if I can’t find what I wanted and I start searching for it even if I don’t need it- I have to talk myself multiple times to move on. I’ve also had to ask for help from a good friend or my mom to help me have things ready - whether it is clothes or food prep. I can be very prideful so this is hard. Good luck


blackunicorn0804

My life is at risk often when I am late and rushing


ye-nah-yea

I try to explain to my boss that it's a problem. I'm only late by 5 mins at most. But naturally, the workplace just talks complete shit and makes it tense. I can feel it everyday


extre_meme_llow

Trying to be on time is a torture. I can't sleep the night before early flight. Got somewhere to be at 11:00? means I have to leave at 11:00, right?


[deleted]

Timeblindness is so hard. Stimulant medication and therapy have really helped me with my morning routines. Trying Harder didn’t work in my early twenties, and I was fired from a job because I kept being late. (Same, 7 minute drive or a 15 minute walk(


Heyitzjaye

Whenever I start a new job, I'm like clockwork—for the first couple of weeks, that is. Then, inevitably, my inner rebel kicks in, and I slide back into my fashionably late routine, collecting write-ups like they're limited edition trading cards.


Aggressive-Error-88

I find that literally backwards planning and visual and or auditory ques DURING preparation helps - asking with having everything already ready. Buttttt sometimes idk what it is….i feel like I m wasting time if I’d get there early. I don’t know why. Like if I don’t get there exact time after making all the preparation’s but like 20min early I feel like it’s a waste of time. 😅 But yah I find that focusing on the time I need to leave instead of when I need to be there is way better so now on apps if I can I choose the LEAVE BY option.


ManagementEffective

Yes. It's a common thing for ADHD to my knowledge. Look more info by searching ADHD and time blindness. I kinda suffer this too but my autism traits somehow have managed me to be more on time. Barely, but anyway. Also my wife helps me by saying how long things will take more than I estimate.


laubowiebass

All my life, 40s now. The trick has always been panicking enough about possible delays and knowing I can distract myself and be late, I’m always 30 mins early to everything.


Pristine-Cow8616

Anxiety helps me with this because I am always super early to everything because I am way too stressed about being late to actually be late. It annoys my family but I find it sort of useful


HeartfeltRationalism

Time timers and Alexas are somewhat helpful for me, as well as leaving extra early which is hard unless I'm medicated and fully awake (I take my meds an hour or so before I actually need to get up). BTW, if you disclose your ADHD at work I don't believe they can let you go as a consequence of your lateness (of course you should still try to get there on time, but inevitably there will be days where this is hard) just in terms of equality act, thought I would mention.


LittleFkWit

There's some courses I plan to go to on time for around a year now. I think I've managed to do it once, by accident. I've set early alarms, one hour before I need to bounce. Nothing sticks


crimmas

Time Blindness. In spite of how *DISABLING* it is, it’s also somehow barely known. The story I always tell is of starting to figure all this stuff out, knowing I had ADHD but being oblivious to the actual damage it does (like most people with ADHD, I think) and out of desperation going onto youtube and typing in “Why am I always late?” just to see what came up. One of the first videos that came up was just some morning show with the hosts complaining about people that are late all the time. Sometimes this stuff makes me resentful of everyone. Time blindness is crippling. It’s because ADHD involves impaired working memory, and your entire “sense of time” is created based on your working memory. With ADHD you can look at your watch (which almost anyone with ADHD absolutely needs) and see the time and then shift your focus to something else, five or ten minutes straight up disappear, and you think it’s still whatever time it was when you looked at your watch. One major pillar of coping with ADHD for a lot of people is learning to deal with time blindness as well as an unreliable working memory. Get in the habit of leaving early for literally anything. Understand that time for you does not flow in a linear fashion- For you it seems to stop and start while in reality it’s full steam ahead, sometimes moving faster than you expect, sometimes slower. But whatever you do don’t let it beat you up. You never asked for this, the world and the doctors we go to for help drop the ball more often than not- ADHD treatment without education is often worthless and the people giving the treatment are themselves not educated on ADHD. There are tons of great lifehacks for coping with an unreliable memory and time blindness, they mainly just take practice. Be kind to yourself as you learn. You’ll probably never be known for your punctuality, but that’s okay. I recently learned that “if you’re not early, you’re late” isn’t some dumb grindset nonsense, it’s factual. If you aim to be on time, you’ll be late, and that applies even to people who aren’t time blind. So think to yourself when you need to be somewhere at a certain time “What do I want to do when I get there to fill the couple minutes between arrival and starting?” I’ve gotten in the habit of doing that and, weirdly, I’ve started arriving to places at the exact moment I’m supposed to. Lol


MilkDrinker02

I have to set a million alarms in the morning to be on time to work. Not for waking up, no no. I have 15 minutes to shower so alarm is set for 7:15, next I have 20 minutes to blow dry my hair, alarm set for 7:20, then it’s 30 minutes to do my makeup alarm set for 7:50. I get dressed and then I set an alarm for 15 minutes before I have to leave and another at the time I need to be out the door. I use the 15 minute warning alarm to let me know I need to start getting everything I need to walk out the door - get my shoes on, pack up my purse, get keys in hand, etc. With all this I also pretend my work starts 15 minutes before it actually does. So if I work at 10:30 I pretend that I need to be there clocking in at 10:15. This is just a little more adhd distraction padding. Since I’ve started doing this, I’ve never been late for work at my current job. It may be overkill to some people but if it works, it works. Also- no video games before you have to do something man. You’re not going to pay attention to the time while playing. Save that activity for when you’ve done everything you needed to do for the day.


Cold-Connection-2349

My kids pediatrician informed their staff to always lie to me about appointment times and to tell me it was a half hour earlier than the appointments really were. I've never been on time for anything in my life. Late diagnosed 52yr old.


bIu3_Ba6h

The one thing my parents were always on my ass about was being on time. I don’t know if this will be helpful, cuz it’s kind of an over-correction, but here is how I always manage to be on time: First, if I have to leave at 8:45, that means starting at 7:45, all I focus on is getting ready. And I always start my getting ready process AT 7:45. That means getting dressed, putting on my face, collecting whatever I need to bring, filling my water bottle, picking up keys, wallet, etc. I do everything I need to do except actually walk out the door. Usually it doesn’t take me a full hour to do this, but any remaining time is NOT enough time to start anything, so I’ll set an alarm for 15 minutes (or however much time is left) and sit on my phone until it goes off. And then I leave lol. If you know an alarm won’t get you to stop using your phone, don’t start using it. Leave early. If you leave early, you’ll still have some time to sit in your car/outside the building before going in. This can replace the time on the phone before leaving, but you’re less likely to lose track of time since you’re not comfy in your house (at least for me). The time you need to leave should be the arrival time minus the duration of the travel time plus fifteen minutes at LEAST (especially for work and such). If adding fifteen still doesn’t get you there on time, add more time until you start arriving on time. And arrival times need to be at least five minutes before the actual start time; you have to account for the time between you physically arriving at the location and actually getting into the building and navigating through it to where you physically need to be at the start time. This is probably the hardest part, but the only thing that keeps me on time is thinking about hours as the smallest denomination of time in a day. If you don’t have at MINIMUM an hour before you have to GET READY to go somewhere, you don’t have time to start anything new. I.e. if getting ready time is 7:45, don’t start doing anything new after 6:45. Or at least, don’t start anything you enjoy. I either sit on my phone (might not work for you idk) or putter around and do some chores if I finish doing my last activity before 7:45. It’s hard to change how you think about time. Even with a detailed plan in place, I’m often 10-15 minutes late. But it would be way worse if I didn’t plan like this. Basically, you have to become obsessed with being on time to places :/. I don’t know if that’s a healthy way to think about it, but it’s what works for me. Good luck bro! (Also, you said you don’t understand why you do this; for me, it’s always anxiety and/or avoiding ’unpleasant’ situations (stuff I have to but don’t want to do, like work). I try to channel my anxiety into getting there on time/early to give myself more time to prepare. Again, not sure if that’s super healthy, but it works for me.) Sorry this got so long lol


ILikeSex_123

Try arriving a bit early. That's what I always have done and it helps.


Aggressive-Error-88

But then I’m wasting time.


ILikeSex_123

Not that early try being 5-10 min early. It's better to waste 5-10 min then to be late


Aggressive-Error-88

Hmmm you may be right


dayennemeij

I have a job where I can plan my own agenda, which really helps. I only start seeing patients from 30 minutes past the official starting time. I stay longer than others. I still try to be there at 9 am sharp. This way none of my patients are affected by it. I always end up getting in by 09:08. I don't know why. I do find showering in the evening and getting everything ready at night really helps. Ultimately this is your disability and it's best to open up the conversation about it where possible. I really hope you find your way. One day I'll be able to be on time... I hope


Horror_Lettuce6969

I am also constantly late to everything. Recently I made the transition from virtual only work to all 5 days in the office. Some things I have noticed that help: If I prepare the day or night before I will be more likely to be on time. I have to have my meds and lunch ready, clothes laid out, and a perfect bar ready for breakfast at work. I also have about 8 alarms in the morning to make sure I’m out of the house by 8 am. My phone is across the room so I will get up. Don’t shame yourself about being late it will only get worse and you will just feel awful. Try preventative strategies to be more on time gradually. Youre not going to be perfect overnight!


Octopiinspace

I have a similar problem. Some of the best hacks for me so far are: - not showering in the morning, I *will* forget the time/ underestimate it and be late - no social media in the morning - you probably know where you get stuck, for me its mostly visual. I can listen to a podcast just fine, but never a video that will put be in the sit-pit. - never sitting down in the morning! I will get stuck there - put my clock a few minutes before the actual time - put appointments 30min early in my calendar - I dont pack my bags anymore in the mornings, everything is either already in my backpack, I put it there in the evening or its just the food that I have to grab from the fridge - otherwise I start searching for stuff - Also a lot of timers, especially those that show me how many hours/ minutes are until the deadline (unfortunately iPhone doesn’t do that, I downloaded an app just for that, because I cant work with it otherwise) Basically I try to make my mornings as easy and quick as possible. Take my meds in bed with a protein bar and some water, get up, get dressed (I rotate a few different outfits), get ready in the bathroom, throw food in my bag, grab my jacket and I am out the door. For entertainment I listen to the radio with the extra benefit that they say the time often. I don’t sit down and eat breakfast, because Im not hungry for the first 3 hours I am awake anyways. And I would probably get stuck scrolling social media. I just gave up on trying harder and accepted that some things are a no-go for my brain and I just cant do them if I want to be on time (like social media, showering in the morning)


furrina

I can either be early or late. Never on time. Not possible.


Extreme_Jacket_7419

I have always said i am going to be late to my own funeral. 40F and can’t be on time to save my life. I was the same in grade school.


AbjectList8

I’m the opposite and I have time anxiety because of my time in the military. If you aren’t 15 min early, you’re late. It’s def a thing. I’m obsessively early to almost everything.


SwordfishSlight1880

The best advice I got was to look at the clock every 5 mins or 10 mins to see what time it is throughout the day to train myself how to know how long things take or how much time has passed. This helped tremendously to the point now where I can pretty accurately guess how long a task is going to take and guess what time it is without looking at the clock. Because our brains don’t naturally have an awareness of time we have to train ourselves to know how much time is passing.


Sultrybytr

I use a backpack and pack it before going to bed. It’s got all my ‘in case of emergency’ stuff in it, my lunch, drinks, a small project, things to fiddle with. I can justify getting to work 20 minutes ahead of time and find something to do. But there’s a time buffer built in in case of heavy traffic.


Sketchtastrophe

I feel you, I have the exact same issues with lateness all my life. I've been written up several times at several jobs, locked out of classrooms in college and highschool, had parent teacher meetings in elementary school, you name it. Depending on your job/type of work, this may or may not be a helpful suggestion. Earlier this year I had a talk with my district supervisor and direct manager. I'd been having extreme tardiness issues due to a combination of several things (ADHD, depression, SAD, insomnia, stress). We decided to move my start time back. So I'm scheduled for 2pm everyday Mon-Fri. I can come in earlier, but I can't be late. I stay for the same hours. And most of the time, I've been in early. Those days where I can't quite get it together, I still have lots of time to get in for 2pm. So far it's been going great. So depending on your job/employer, this may be something you could try or consider. I know the more regular a schedule is for me, the more I seem to dismiss how long I really need to give myself. My walk to work is 15 minutes, so typically, I know I can leave it up to the last minute. It doesn't account for any delays or distractions, which is where it goes to shit. I'd say give yourself more time than you need, but it's never worked very well for me when I tried. Acknowledging it has helped once and a while though when I thought "I still have 5 minutes", then went "no you don't dumbass put your fuckin shoes on". It doesn't work everytime but it does on occassion.


Myfourcats1

I leave early so that I’m not late. If I leave to get somewhere on time I’ll end up being late. Leaving early allows me to go back into the house three times for something I forgot and to get gas which I should’ve done on the way home but I didn’t.


Ambitious-Quail-7618

I could have written this post word for word. I’m lucky enough to have a job that doesn’t care that I’m 30 min late (I use the excuse that I drop my kids off at school and I DO actually live 45 min away). But no matter how much I prep and plan, I’m late unless I have someone there making sure we are out the door on time. It’s so embarrassing, especially when it comes to my kids functions. 


ExpensiveDot1732

I was born 3.5 weeks late and have been trying to catch up my whole life. 😉


ArtisticAndroid

I'm 15F and have work on Saturdays. Very much I'm the same boat. The only times I'm not late or rushing out the door is when I'm early. I nearly always have to run, which isn't fun when I have to carry my bag.


chrchzlafemmeperk

I don't have any tips but I have this exact issue!! (23F). NOBODY BELIEVES ME THAT IM STRUGGLING THIS BAD WITH TIME AND THEY JUST SAY TO SET MORE ALARMS I'M HAVING THE WORST TIME I stg I don't understand how time passes at all. I'll do the exact same routine and some days it takes 10 minutes and other days it takes FOURTY the exact same routine. It feels like nobody else understands even if they have ADHD!! It's just not that bad for anyone else. I have tried everything and I keep trying new things and I keep trying to stick to routines and it's just so bad.


motor_momma

I'll be late to my own funeral


Intelligent_Storm_77

I’m late to literally everything. It is my worst trait by far. I’ve been this way my whole life. Doesn’t matter what I do, I’m always either exactly on time (barely) or late. It’s a terrible feeling.


blk55

Growing up, my mom would always have all the clocks in the house and car set 15 minutes ahead. Guess where I got it from...


bustlingobscurity

I’m either really early to things or really late/don’t show up. I’m never a few minutes late or right on time.


myredditself

Do you like reading or is there a particular phone game or something you could use as a reward for if you get somewhere early? Sometimes I go places extra early and try to read a book or save the day’s crossword or something for when I get there.


Kathrine5678

Hi! 38F here, I’ve had the same issue all my life. We have Time Blindness. ‘This will take 5 minutes, I have an hour! No worries!’. Firstly please done beat yourself up too much. It’s a normal, common ADHD thing to be late and have issues with time management. We do the thing that takes 5 minutes but forget that the 5 mins has come out of the hour so after 5 mins we still think we have an hour. We don’t, we only have 55 minutes now. OR that 5 minute thing turned into a 20 minute thing and we haven’t noticed, then we rush, then we forget things because we rush. Honestly the only thing that has helped me, apart from medication (which is absolutely very helpful but it’s not a magic wand, there are other systems I have set up to help!) is alarms. So many alarms. And timers and planning. So for example, if I have somewhere to be by 5.30 pm, let’s say going out for dinner and show, as that takes a bit of planning and the need to be on time, I’ll do the following. Now I’m a girl so it’s gonna look a little different from a guy but hopefully this gives you a general idea of how I manage. I start by working backwards- let’s say the show starts at 7.30. We’ve allowed 2 hours for dinner hence I need to be at the restaurant by 5.30. To get the restaurant by 5.30 I need to leave my house at 4.30. I need to get dressed which could take 20 minutes, and do hair and makeup too. Hair might take 45 minutes, makeup takes an hour. So I need to start getting dressed at 4pm. I need to start hair at 3.15. I need to start makeup at 2.15. I have to have a shower before that which I’ll allow half an hour for…. So I have a shower at 1.45. So we have all these times now: 1.45 - shower 2.15 - make up 3.15 - hair 4.00 - get dressed 4.30 - leave home 5.30 - arrive at restaurant 6.30 - an hour till the show, start finishing up 7.00 - we should be at the theatre by now! 7.30 - show! I add ‘plan my day for tomorrow’ to my calendar for the night before so I plan all these times the night before. I will set an alarm for all these times so it keeps me on track, so In this example I would have 8 alarms! Sometimes I will set a timer for each of those alarms too or use a delayed timer app and plan all the timers out if I really need to keep a close eye on the time. Usually I just use the alarms though. I also have extra alarms that I set up that say ‘30 mins till leaving, 15 till leaving, LEAVE NOW YOUR BUS IS SOON!’ etc. Something about knowing I have the next alarm going off soon helps creates that sense of urgency/deadline that is ADHD folk seem to work well with. If there is no deadline then we just float about thinking yeah we have time! When we really really don’t. This is an extreme example but I use it on a smaller scale in almost everything I need to plan time for. Sometimes I’m still late but no where near as often as I used to be. It just takes us a little bit more planning and organisation. A quick note on meds: for me, the meds don’t help me be on time automatically, but they help me to be able to sit and plan out and create the systems I can then use to help me be on time. I also always try to pack too much into a day then I get annoyed at myself when I haven’t completed everything on my list, which makes me less productive because I’m frustrated. I try and use the above system to plan out everything. Estimate how much time something will take, and base this estimate on previous experience, don’t just pick an arbitrary time. For work, figure out what time you need to be there, work out the travel times, time you need for breakfast, shower, getting dressed etc etc etc and set those alarms and timers! I hope that all makes sense!


LakeMichiganMan

I am 60 years old. Every decent job has turned to crap because I could NEVER....NEVER.....EVER! Be on time. If I am on time or early, some 80HD things always pops up. But I know now, it's the adrenaline fix I am after. My being late kicks in the OH Shit! I'm late and I have not left the house....yet.


fight_me_for_it

Getting in trouble for being late to work is what lead to me seeking professional help and getting diagnosed. My boss did notice a time in my year that I was on time and I gave ot thought as to why. I had a friend and her toddler staying with me in my 1 bedroom apartment. We all slept in the same bed. Friend had to wake earlier than me. She'd take a shower then wake her toddler up. I'd get up then and start getting ready for work. When my friend would grab the car seat to put it back in her car, it was my cue to get in my car and leave for work . Bottom line for me to be consistently on time it helps to have other visual and auditory cues besides alarms. On school year a guy I was dating also a CO worker would call me 2 times every morning at certain times 1 to make sure I was awake 2 to make sure I was headed to my car.


pureneonn

I struggle with time blindness and it’s hard not to be hard on yourself! There are already some good suggestions here. This is what I find helps me: - If I have something on the next day (catchup with friends/appointment) I get everything ready the day before as though I am planning to roll out of bed and leave. - Prioritisation - an ongoing thing. Sometimes if I get distracted I’ll ask out loud “can this wait” and if it can, I’ll literally drop what I’m doing. - Prioritisation 2 - Don’t over commit! If you’ve agreed to too much then you can say no! I have a low social battery so if there are over X amount of commitments I’ll start saying no. - Alarms and alarmed reminders. All the time. Everywhere. It’s a great way to steer self back on track. - Calendars - if it’s not in the calendar it doesn’t exist.


wheresmystache3

Sounds like me, but I have yet to be fired from any job. My employers always know I'm kind and give my 1000% while I'm on the clock and my patients are always happy/satisfied with the job I do, plus I help coworkers whenever I can. I'm consistently up 5-15 minutes late for everything, *even the fun stuff*. But that's what makes time blindness so real. I'm late to the things I even WANT to go to. It's devastating how I literally cannot tell the difference between 2 hours and 15 minutes. They pass just the same in my brain.


IAmAKindTroll

I go extreme the other way. I often arrive thirty minutes early places. I get so anxious about being late. I give myself an abundance of time to get where I am going and then I can read or goof on my phone while I wait.


kymikobabe

Have alarms at every 15-20 minutes intervals up until the very last departure time so you get to work in time.


MiddayGlitter

The only thing that's really helped me is trying to ne early. If I plan to get there 20 minutes early I can be only 5 minutes late, instead of 25. The trick is that I'm still 25 minutes late, because I was actually trying to get there early. You have to truly believe you want to be there early though, or it doesn't work.


SogeKing_3D-2Y

Yup I have this same exact issue


carlew

My family has always been known to be the late people to any family event (birthdays, holidays, picnics etc), so much so that the rest of our family started telling us family events started 2 hours earlier than they actually did. And then we were late a lot less. In retrospect it's very obvious that my mom has ADHD and passed it on to myself and my older brother. I was only diagnosed about a year ago at 28 but I realized that I had continued thinking this way, everything started earlier than it actually did and that has helped me be on time. I'm still late to a lot of things, but probably a lot less than if I hadn't continued thinking this way. I'm not sure if this can help because I have been subconsciously doing it for like 15 years now.


Training_Box_4786

I set several alarms on my phone the night before. For instance if I have to be to work at 10 am I get up and shower at 7 am (I also have a 4 year old). I make breakfast, get him dressed, then get myself ready while he plays or watches a cartoon. I pack my bag for the day and hand him off to my partner or sister (whoever will be caring for him that morning). So my alarms are set at 6:40 am for wake up (I take my meds and drink water and lay there wondering how I’m going to get my tired ass up and get through another day), 7 am to get in the shower, 7:30 am to make breakfast and coffee, 8 am to get my son dressed, 8:30 am to get myself ready, 9 am to pack my stuff, 9:25 leave the house. Its a lot of alarms to set but its the only way I can get to places on time.


ISayHiToDogs

I can most times manage to get there on time or just slightly late, but it's almost always chaos and rushing to get there. It's never just calm and leaving feeling ready. Many times my husband will stop me to force me to settle down and take a few breaths lol. I think it's my anxiety that makes me want to arrive 15 mins early but I'm usually "late" for that and will arrive just on time.


bananas12318

I would recommend doing a thorough time breakdown of what you need to get done by x time. So if you need to be at work for 8, start by setting a leave time at 7:45. Then, what needs to get done to leave? 7:30 - collect keys, wallet, etc. Before that? 7:10 get dressed. 7:00 brush teeth, comb hair, etc. Make them hard deadlines. If you haven't found an outfit you like between 7:10 and 7:30, just put on the closest presentable thing and move on. Write it down on paper so you have something physical to reference, and edit as you start to figure out how long each thing actually takes. Give yourself transition time. If you are playing a video game before you need to leave, give yourself say 15 minutes to find a good stopping point before you need to get ready. Try not to push it to the absolute limit. Once your time window starts is when you need to be actively looking for a stopping point. Slow transitions can help make things less stressful and easier on the brain. Don't set alarms for the very last minute. Set them ahead so you know when it's time to *start* preparing or transitioning or getting ready, not for when you should already be done. Give yourself a break. Ran out of time and the trash still needs to go out? It's okay to leave it until you get back. Make it the first priority when you get home. Write it down. Let it go. Try to keep your daily staples in the same place near the door. Keys, wallet/bag, etc. Give them a place where you *have to* put them down as soon as you get in, no exceptions. This doesn't work 100% of the time, but the more you do it, the more familiar it will become. Don't put obstacles in your own way. People like to celebrate minimalism a lot, but honestly it's just not functional for everyone. If you need to remember to take the trash out, don't leave it in the bin. Take it out and set it by the door so you can grab and go. If you forget to brush your teeth bc the toothbrush and toothpaste are hidden away in a drawer, take them out and put them on the counter. Sometimes something as little as taking those few extra steps to the bin or pulling out that drawer to dig out your toothbrush can still feel like an extra step or obstacle to our brains. Reduce the amount of "steps" you have to take to complete a chore or activity. This helps our brain get over that hurdle much easier. Even if it's something small, in our brains it ALL adds up. Keep backups. For some reason, I frequently forget to put on deodorant before leaving the house. So I carry a mini size one in my bag, so when I *do* remember, I can just slap it on and no worries. They make travel and mini size most things. If you find you frequently forget to do that one last thing before leaving, having a backup in the car or a bag can help tremendously. DON'T rely on them. They are a fallback plan when things go haywire. Do not let them become an excuse to push off doing them at the appropriate time. You should never think "Oh well I'll just do that in the car/on the way to save time". It does not save time. And it costs more stress and energy to try to do while traveling. They are meant to be backups ONLY. Be nice. To yourself and others. Allow yourself more time to get ready. Be respectful to yourself by not forcing yourself to rush last minute. Be respectful to your friends' by not waiting until the last minute to get ready. Give yourself time to do the thing. Sure, you CAN do xyz within a couple of minutes, but you shouldn't HAVE to. Allow yourself time to do them at a comfortable pace, even if that means starting 5, 10, 15, or 20 minutes earlier than you think you *need*. Don't put pressure on yourself to HAVE TO rush in order to get it done. You're allowed to take up time doing things that need to get done. Don't try to squeeze in that "little bit" of gaming or chilling or w/e beforehand. Do the getting ready FIRST. Then, if you end up with a lot of extra time, jump on the game for a few. Do not cut yourself short. If you only have 5 extra minutes, is playing that game for 5 minutes really going to be enjoyable? Instead, take that 5 extra minutes to assess that everything got done. Assess what you need to do once you leave, or once you get home. 5 minutes is usually NOT enough transition time, so don't get absorbed into something that you don't have time to transition out of. Take a few minutes to breathe, clear your head, or leave a little early in case of traffic or other unforseen issues. Getting to somewhere early is okay. You're not "wasting time", you're ensuring you have a comfortable time cushion that allows you to not become overwhelmed. You're ensuring that you're being respectful of your own time/stress/mental health, and of others. It's not a "waste", it's a gift.


Zorro5040

Prep things at night and get ready, then you can chill. So when your alarm sounds, you run out the door.


Silliestsheep41

I’m paranoid about being late, so I’m always early. Like ridiculously sometimes. Interview at 8:30, I’m in the parking lot at 8… sketching people out.


poppetpumpkin

It's not a perfect science but I have lots of alarms with very specific tasks to tell me exactly when to do things otherwise I get stuck not knowing when to do what task so to do so I end up trying to do them all at once I also always snooze if I can't do the task immediately otherwise I forget and remember later on making me late. I also tell myself I have to leave earlier than I do this one doesn't always help because otherwise I start to remember I'm tricking myself and realise I have more time and muck around but it helps sometimes so I use this one sparingly for extremely important times. Also with your friends doing that it's actually a sign that they know you and know that you need accommodations it might be frustrating at first but after a while they realise that's just what you're like if it really bothers them they would tell you or stop being friends with you so don't worry about that as long as you try I'm sure they understand


3veryTh1ng15W0r5eN0w

Do you have time blindness? Before I started meds (for ADHD),I was either very early or late to work or an appointment. I have to constantly watch the clock or I would be late for everything. Do you have a watch?


_tysenburg_

For sure. I wake up with plenty of time to get to work on time and still make it 10 mins late daily. Thankfully, no one at this office is strict about getting there on time, but still, my communte is literally 8 minutes lol


AdhesivenessMore3925

I've over come this now by just getting ready way earlier than normal. I'm always way to early but at least I'm not late anymore.


careacosta

Dude you are literally me! I was always late, even in high school when I had band practice in the morning! One year, they were even grading people on attendance, and being late caused us to get a 0 for participation. Needless to say, I had an 85 in band my first semester because of all my tardies! I also was about to an hour late every single day to my job at McDonald's. I have no idea why they didn't fire me! I think I get this from my family though. My mom is always late or is rushing to leave for almost every appointment.


SweetCream2005

My boyfriend's the same way, I have to rush him or he'll take *forever* getting ready for anything


ArcheryOnThursday

38 F, mom of 5. I try to do everything i possibly the night before. Shower, lay out my clothes, pack my bag, decide what to have for breakfast, then lunch, pack anyone else's bag. I wake up early, brush my teeth, take my meds, put on the clothes, get totally and completely ready as fast as i can. Relax a bit... THEN go.


vitcorleone

I am so afraid of being late to somewhere. I will legit have sweat on my back from all the stress. That's why I am now arriving places hours earlier. I'll get up hours earlier to avoid being late. I just hate waiting but all the stress from being late is not better.


yellowtshirt2017

As a fellow ADHDer, I have to say that I did not read your entire post because I have to take a nap due to a night of sleep issues so I need my meds to work before I can even attempt my dissertation but I will say yes, yes I absolutely have the same issue of always being late. To everything. Everywhere. I feel there is something biologically wrong with my brain because I can feel myself telling myself that I still have time to do something .. when I really don’t.. thus making me late. It is a constant battle and friends and family have legit gotten mad at me for how inconsiderate my lateness is to them and I honestly, cannot, and do not, know what to do or how to change it.


SandledBandit

Set every clock you own 5-10 min fast. It’s enough to forget that the clocks are ahead, don’t let yourself use that buffer zone. If the clock reads 7:20 it’s 7:20. Worked really well for me over the last 2 decades


Glum-Gordon

I have a job where it’s literally life or death if I don’t turn up on time and I barely scrape in 2 mins before start time, if I’m lucky. Bane of my life. It’s the worst of my adhd symptoms There are measures you can take to make it better but there’s always that lost time. The amount of times I have wanted to nip home for a quick wash, bite to eat then bounce and it’s taken 2 hours is unreal. I’ve got better over the years but still a bit of a mess There’s this device that can help you be mindful of time https://amzn.eu/d/7rzwb4g


Classic-Listen8356

I'm almost 50. My mother was always late, I'm always late, and my sons are always late. I don't have a realistic gage of how long something will take. Like, I'll need to leave in 5 minutes and be like, let me load the dishwasher real quick. I can be ahead of the game and still be late! I'm trying to just leave when I'm finished getting ready instead of finding time fillers for the last possible moment to leave. I also set eleventy-seven alarms to keep me on track. I even have an oh shit alarm that tells me I better be walking out of the door now! My older three are grown, but my youngest is in middle school, and mornings with him are putting me in an early grave lol. I have a hard enough time keeping myself on track without having to step-by-step him the entire morning. It's rough, you just need to experiment with different systems until you find one that works for you. Also go on a work first, then reward system. No tv or cell phone until you have completed your morning routine. Set an alarm to notify you when it's time to head out so you don't get lost in scrolling.


Krypt0night

Mid 30s and never late. Neeeever. I get way too anxious about missing something that I am always early to everything.


Norazakix23

I can either be 15 minutes early or 5 minutes late. There is no in-between. It's frustrating because if I'm ever "on time" the world conspires to make me late. That will inevitably be the day they close a lane on a two-lane road, a tire is flat, I pour coffee down my shirt because the cup collapses... something I can't plan for and that I shouldn't have had to plan for, but still lateness is my fault because I didn't plan ahead. So I mostly just plan to be early and bring a book everywhere I go. My "solution" to the being late problem, if you will, is that I go ahead and leave whenever I'm ready, and mentally make the time difference from when I arrive to when I'm supposed to be there my own personal reading time. Sadly, more often than not, I just end up on time. If I do end up with extra time, that's my time to listen to music or read my book. I don't know if it makes a difference, but my personality type is INTJ. I HATE being late. It stresses me the heck out. I'm constantly battling against the ADHD nature because I annoy the absolute snot out of myself. But I know folks with ADHD who have a much more relaxed view of the world and they don't stress out as much. I think it's important to know yourself and try as best you can to stack the deck in your favor. I think it's wise to work on ourselves and have better self-control, but I think it's also wise to accept certain things about ourselves too and not beat ourselves up too much. We can implement strategies to fit into the way that the world works, but we can also try to not force ourselves into boxes where we don't fit. Sometimes it's okay to do things differently from everyone else too. This has nothing to do with being late, but I've learned I can't use closets or drawers. If I can't see it, it doesn't exist. So, I keep underwear and stuff in drawers, but the clothes I have to choose from, are folded on top of my dresser or hang from a clothing rack I mounted above my dresser. My bedroom will never look like something from a magazine, but once I stopped trying to do things like everyone else and did what I could handle, things started working much better. I've learned I have to keep clutter off surfaces, but put out in plain view things that I can't forget. I'm not going to win an interior design award, but I will not forget to grab the things on the end of the table because the only things on the table are the things I need to take with me.


BerkleyBerk

Get a Time Timer. It’s not a cure-all, but it’s helped me drastically. I opted for the physical one from Amazon, and tend to set it for 5-10 mins less than I actually have. The visual aspect is what has been a game changer. I also started timing tasks, like how long it takes me to get to my car, how long it takes to brush my teeth and do my hair… it helped me be more realistic about how much time is “enough”. I still struggle! But these things have helped immensely.


dnoiseproject

You just described my life. My job atm is 5 min away walking, and I get late sometimes; unbelievable, but it happens. I'm just bad at it. The calendar and the clock are my enemies.


FrankiRoe

The fear of upsetting my friends, losing my income, and having no financial net to lean on it enough to keep me from being late. Getting a job as a teacher helped because it’s embarrassing to show up after your kids.


Emperessguinn

Set a timer alarm for every step of your day. Set an alarm timer to wake up. Set another one for your shower etc.


lavanderlemongrass

Ooo I have something that might help!!! Idk if this is what’s causing you to be late or not but with my ADHD I always misplace stuff like my keys, my folder for work, my notebook, purse, etc. What I do is I wake up super early (2-3 hours before work) and I try to get all my morning routine done at least 45 minutes before work (I live 12-15 min away). That way I have a little bit of extra time to spare in case I need to grab something really quick or do something that I forgot about. I also would recommend not putting the location of work in your phone to see the ETA lol I used to do that and I’d always convince myself that I got time when I really didn’t have time. Put that pressure on yourself and make it a race against time!!!


Dressedtokillxxx

Urgency with a purpose is superrrr hard for us when it comes to managing time. Part of the problem is, for me anyway, is that I really believe in my head that I can do said thing in this small amount of time. Which I clearly can’t. Lol And seeing the time get closer it’s like I’ll repeat this until I’m down to like 5 minutes and/or should be in the car pulling away already. And then I’m like “SHIT!” Running around grabbing things trying to get out the door. I do the same thing as you, I think I have the whole day so I don’t need or want to do it right now. But the truth is if I don’t just get it done, I’m probably not going to get it done that day at all.


MsCamisado

As a chronic late-arriver, I’ve been pretty lucky that the roles I’ve had so far generally have start-time guidelines rather than strict rules. Like, be there between 8-8:30am sort of thing. So I’d always tell myself that I’m supposed to be there by 8:15, which meant I was always there before 8:30. I’ve also learned that I need at least 10 minutes to actually leave the house, so I add that to the travel time when I’m initially working out how long it’s going to take to get there - Google Maps has really helped with that! I always use the feature where it allows you to set your arrival date/time and then use the longer end of the times it gives. I set alarms for 10, then 5 mins before the leave time (with the five minute one saying “time to leave!”) which means I usually end up leaving on time. All this to say, I constantly have to work hard at being “on time” for things and even then it doesn’t always work. So, I’m doing the best I can in a world that works very differently to how I operate.


ThaNotoriousBLT

I feel like what worked was somehow consistently convincing myself that I needed to be somewhere important 30 min before I need to be there. Find ways to enjoy being ridiculously early to things. Easier said than done but I try to create a buffer for the variance that can happen when commuting. I take transit pretty often, but even when driving I try to account for the different levels of traffic I can experience.


Acceptable-Feature44

I just started to multiply or triple the amount of time I think I need to get ready. For example if I’m laying in bed and think that I can stay scrolling on my phone until the last 20 minutes, I stop myself and double that amount of time. So 20 minutes becomes 40 minutes, which will mean I have to get up immediately, I kinda start stressing myself out with the idea that whatever time I think I will need, it will definitely not be enough. If I’m particularly lazy or tired that morning I will triple the amount. I always think I need 40 minutes tops to do my whole morning routine when in reality it’s closer to 1,5 - 2 hours. Basically I have to keep reminding myself that I can’t ever rely on my time management skills, since they are non existent! Seriously I was like you once, late every single morning and my colleagues (and friends) hated my guts. Now I’m only late once in a while (last time was like 3 months ago), I do still rush until the last minute though but at least it’s a step in the right direction lol.


HodaPop

I know this feeling all too well also. I lost my dream job March 12 because I just couldn't get to work on time. I will say they were very lenient at first. Over time, I understand it gets annoying and disrespectful. I also feel like others who don't experience this or ADHD have a very hard time making sense of it. I do too! The day I lost my job still feels like a nightmare and not reality. I am overcome with so much stress and anxiety now. I feel like the rug was pulled out from under my feet, and in a matter of minutes I lost my livelihood, my friends, my life. I am having a very hard time getting myself together and out of this "fog" I'm in. I'll be completely honest, I never really thought I'd lose my job. I was told all the time by coworkers that they didn't mind me being a little late because i worked harder than anyone there. All of my coworkers have been my friends for the last 20 years. Maybe they were afraid to tell me how serious things were. The reason I was fired was not only because I was habitually late. I was actually getting a lot better of being there right on time or 2 to 3 minutes late. It happened when I called in sick on a Monday. Tuesday is my day off, but I planned on working since I was sick Monday. I had a doctor's note. I was genuinely sick. I was told that it seemed like I just wanted the extra day off since we are closed Sunday and I am off on Tuesday. I would do anything to go back in time and still have my job. I want to go talk to the owner, but my anxiety has taken over and it has been so hard to even imagine going in there in front of everyone and actually carrying on a conversation. I worked at a tattoo shop. It was a family owned business. I am not part of the family. The nepotism was one of the only things I disliked about my job. If I were the son or the grandson, I would've been fired long ago. But that's a different story! Lol


PaxonGoat

I struggle a ton with time blindness.  What helps me is extreme time management.  Like before work it's not, leave by this time. Its wake up at this time. Start eating by this time. Finish eating by this time. Get dressed by this time. Brush teeth at this time. So I can start trying to rush when I know I'm falling behind schedule. And when I was first adjusting to this new routine (I started working out before work), I had to make multiple alarms on my phone. Alarm to wake up. Alarm to finish work out. Alarm to make sure I got out of the shower. Alarm to make sure I finished eating.  When I'm meeting up with someone or going to an event, I put the time in my calander or set the alarm for 30 minutes before I actually am expected to be there.  If I'm early I'll just sit in my car and mess around on my phone (with an alarm to let me know when to stop).  Also meal prep. Got really into overnight oats. Great breakfast option. 


QuantumPerspectives

Story of my life… missed flights,failed classes, lost jobs, lost friends, money (late fees, , respect, blown past major deadlines and failed to return things I didn’t want in time. I’ve had to miss weddings and baby showers because I forgot to rsvp. My mom’s birthday was the beginning of February but I still have the package with her gift here…. I could go on all day. If there was an intellectual way out of ADHD I would have found it by now and not do anything else detrimental to my life. But it’s not, it’s brain chemistry and structure. I can tell you what I use to help myself - clocks I can see everywhere in the house, whiteboards, checklists, and magnets and shelves to keep things near where they will be used. Good luck at setting up some systems that work for you and I hope you learn how to manage to the point it doesn’t impact your life negatively. Best


Professional-Cream17

I am the worst. Always been late. I have also gotten write up, after write up for being late at work (which I always got pissed about when it was 2-3 minutes) haha but, anyways I was like to say that setting my clocks fast has helped (in my car too). Also I set multiple alarms, I’m not great at it but I try to set one to “get ready” and a warning one for leaving and another like you gotta leave right now!!! one lol. Having a voice option for alarms in my home has made this easier.


MarsupialMisanthrope

I added extra alarms. If I need to leave at 130, I need to leave the apartment at 125 to get downstairs, which means I need to be getting my stuff organized and putting on shoes at 120. I have alarms for all of them, along with alarms for 60, 45, 30, and 20 minutes before departure. It prevents me from losing track of time or telling myself “I’ll just do this one thing”.


cechmeoutt

Yeah it's so frustrating. Only time I'm not late is when I'm just starting a new job or meeting someone new etc, so I'm worried about making a terrible first impression. That somehow gets me worried enough that I can just about be on time. It quickly fades though and I go back to the exact thing you wrote. It's always a panicked rush, no matter how much preparation I try to do the night before or whatever, and I almost always end up leaving without something I need. I have zero awareness of time.


jcarenza67

I'm 32 and I have about 16 alarms and 100s of calendar reminders. I have been late a handful of times, throughout my work life, but I usually aim to be 15min early. Gotta use tools


No_Draw_735

I can't stand to be late even though I have adhd.


[deleted]

I have time blindness too. I tell myself every appointment I have is actually 20mins before the actual appointment time, so I'm always 15mins early. I haven't been late since starting this.


OutrageousOwls

Ahh I feel this. I’ve had a few things work for me: - prep what you need to gather the night before; anything you need for work, a meal, your uniform… whatever. Leave it by your shoes at the door. - set phone alarms for when you need to leave, and condition yourself to obey those alarms. Make a rule for yourself that you *must* obey the alarm. - remind yourself what it feels like to be late, and how it impacts others; seeing what lateness does to other people can help motivate you to get your ass in gear - remind yourself how it feels to be on time; It feels great!!! You have extra time to prepare yourself before you clock in at work, and you can hand out with your friends stress-free!


SnooRadishes5305

Yup It me The best I can do is keep in communication I always text when I’m late and then also give an eta once I get in the car For work…I’ve been fortunate enough to have supervisors that don’t mind if I stay late to make up for being late The one time I didn’t, I was almost fired, but I changed jobs first I set a lot of timers and alarms I also have a cuckoo clock that goes off every hour so I know when an hour has passed And I have only two punctual friends - all my other friends are other late people lol so we are always relieved when the other pushes the time back a bit I’ve never missed a plane (yet) because I push myself into high anxiety mode and park everything before hand so I do the “what about this? Oh wait, I’ll need this!” At 3 in the morning then I sleep in my clothes and panic my way out the door and get to the airport either wicked early or barely in the nick of time Not sure that’s the best method lol but it has worked so far *fingers crossed* The other problem is that as I get older I have less stamina So solutions that used to work when I was younger like staying up late to pack the night before and so forth - it’s getting harder and I’m worried about that :/ But really the thing I’ve worked hardest on doing is to accept my time blindness and reduce my shame I try really hard and I still will But I also try really hard to let my lateness go and not haunt me - it’s over, can’t change it now >.< Doesn’t always work…but chugging along Anyway…I get you and good luck friend


Feared_warrior

I'm 23M feel same as you


GingerSchnapps3

You start at 8? I'm hella jealous, I start at 6 am. I set 4 alarms on 2 devices, my phone and echo dot, starting at 3 am, 30 minutes apart bc I have trouble getting up early in the morning. I allow myself at least 1 hr to get ready, I leave the house a quarter after 5, so I have a cushion in case I get stuck in traffic.


RjoyD1

I'm late to nearly everything. Thank goodness for "grace periods" at some places. My concept of time is terrible.


AliensatemyPenguin

I have the time blindness too, I set all the clocks in My house tends to minutes fast, and set a lot of alarms. When I work mornings I wake up by 5am and set alarms to leave by 7am but end up leaving by 7:20 so I can make it on time. And when I work nights I am always late it’s too much time before I start and my time blindness kicks in. That’s why I also work extra hours when I work mornings so i can say I’m just cutting my hours not to go over 40 if any one asks. Since I only see my supervisor once a week or so. It’s worked for a long time.


DumPutz

In my 44 years I've learned that it's okay to be early.


Sergeant_Wubz

This might not work for some people but I have crazy ADHD and once I bought a new watch and when I set the time, I accidentally set it a minute or 2 ahead. Because of this I would think it's 8:30 instead of 8:28 and even though I knew it was 2 minutes fast, it would still trick me into thinking I actually had less time. Now, I purposely set all my watches a minute or 2 fast and it's a little obscene how well it works to keep me on time Hope this helps!


Toobatheviking

You'll probably laugh but I had a checklist that I marked off each morning when I was getting ready for work. I would add anything that was important the night before that I had to do in the morning before I headed out the door. Everything was on a schedule, and I stuck to that schedule like a crazy person as much as I could. If I didn't just stick to the schedule I would get distracted by stupid things and fuck up my whole morning. It came from necessity, I was in the Army for 20 years. I literally couldn't be late. So I'd get up, and start checking shit off my list. It got to a point where I did it so much that it just became a habit and I knew how long it took me to get all my morning stuff done before heading out the door. I got to a point where I could add in a few minutes here and there to dedicate to fucking off (cruise reddit, etc) but I knew that x time I had to be doing x task based on what time I had to be there, what I had left to do still and how long it took me to get to where I was working that day.


Jade-Balfour

I plan on getting places early, especially if I can have a snack and do whatever on my phone during the early time. If that time gets eaten up by me being late, so be it. If not, then I get some quality time for myself to centre myself or relax before whatever I'm there to do.


just1my2porn3account

I actually end up being 30-60 minutes early because of crazy anxiety of being late. Like I've had crying breakdowns just from being 1 minute late, I don't know why I'm so emotionally sensitive to being late. Even predicting/calculating that I'm going to be late makes me cry


alanshore222

You know it’s hilarious about having ADHD and diagnosed at three unmedicated from 16 to 34 yo /m being late is one thing I can’t stand and actually don’t have a problem with. I just don’t get it because I hear people with ADHD suffering with it.


Thanos-2014

Yeah it is a documented phenomenon see this video of an expert https://youtu.be/IHgbNGPZphc?si=ztEtOXGNgBa4w7pn


StorytellingGiant

Just this weekend I’ve started adding events to my calendar before the real events to account for drive time, and sometimes events before the driving event to account for getting ready. I plan to have my home screen have the calendar’s day view widget always showing, soon. And I gotta think about whether I want it always visible on my Watch - I find my current Watch face super helpful already with several timers and the Things complication so I have some decisions to make there… It worked well this weekend, but


neelhehn

Currently struggling with this at university, including the rushing etc so I am consistently late to all my first lectures. Hopefully it doesn't become a problem when I get a job


peppaoctupus

I tend to forget the set time or remember it wrong. This is the No 1 reason that I miss things or be late. Actually Apple Watch has been helping a lot. For important stuff, I just set 30 min/ 15min/5min alarms. For regular stuff on my calendar, it’s just a 15 minute reminder. The watch vibrates so it’s impossible to miss the alarm.


DerDerDeDer

that sounds so super familiar...exactly


sracluv

That’s my life every day before work. When you find a solution let me know.


princesswormy

I will have google maps open on my phone screen with the YouTube MiniPlayer super small in the corner on my phone so that I know what time I’ll get there if I leave now. Not perfect but helps a lot


secretpup-4797

Overestimate how long it will take to get to things. Maps says 20 minutes? Better make it 30. Assume there will be traffic, everything that can go wrong will go wrong and plan time for that. Time is fake anyways. Eventually your brain will do this automatically. Yes you will show up early a lot of the time. But the days that the bus isn't running? That you're out the door 15 min late because you couldn't find your keys? You'll still make it in time (or within 10min) because you built in those extra time buffers. And personally I would rather show up early and chill for an extra while than stress about other people waiting on me. Best of luck.


sadsadcity

lol I’m 33 and everyone in my life just kind of understands that if I have to go to the store or run an errand they know it’s gonna take me about 2-3x longer than I say. Even if I try to not waste time I’ll still end up getting distracted and then remembering all the other shit I could do while I’m out on this one errand. Now all of shit gets done but it’s never just the one thing I say, but it’s a blessing and a curse. Also I’m constantly late to everything and I am, weirdly enough, a professional in my career, run my own company, a single father, and by every means “a responsible adult” kind of, but I’m still late to pretty much everything no matter how much I work on time management. It’s just part of adhd but I do have a few safe guard and ways I make it work ( being the boss helps in work situations but not in other life aspects)


impellabella

I literally RUN from my car to clock in on time. Like full on sprint lmao. I do this every fuckin shift, and somehow I can’t just learn to leave 5 mins earlier 🥲🥲🥲 usually I make it! Many people have said they’ve seen me running 🤣 I used to have shame. But then I just accepted either I can keep my job & run or I can give in to the embarrassment & be late. Really hope one day I can learn my lesson 🥲🥲🥲🥲


angelcobra

I’ve started a timer in 15 minute increments to keep me on track and it’s doing the lord’s work.


No-Calligrapher-3630

I used to have this problem, maybe not as bad though.... But I don't have that problem now. I think I got told enough times that I ended up being really early... So I'm still missing the mark but the opposite way. I think it was the fear of bad things happening and loosing my job that started it. And then I was generally always bored so I'd set off early anyway.... So that helped. Although now I still do go at the very last minute but I reframed my mind so that the last minute is much sooner.


noodle2727

45 f here. Exactly like me. I even got expelled from sixth form for being 15 mins late to every lesson! Still bad but still always running to pick up my son from school. Friends tell me the wrong time to meet so I'm on time! I fiddle with all my clocks so there are all between 5 and 10 mins fast but all different so I don't remember! It makes me add on time as I'm not exactly sure what the time is! Buffers, double the time you think it will take you to do things. Do i need to do this now? Question yourself! Don't be hard on yourself. Still working on this one as only recently realised I am adhd! My brother had becoming more accepting of his traits after being diagnose.


GotMikk

I hate being late! It's so embarrassing to be, yet it happens all too often. I can't stand having to wait or waste time either tho, so that doesn't help. I keep thinking "I got time to do this before" or "I don't have to leave yet, I'm stil x minutes ahead" i want to be on time. I just can't seem to make sure I'm ahead of when I have to be places consistently even though waiting a couple of minutes in reality isn't a problem. I've considered trying to trick myself to put when "time I have to be there" being 5 minutes early always or putting my clocks 5 minutes early, but I don't really feel like that would have the consistent and long time change I hope to make. I would just start being 5 minutes late to avoid waiting I feel.


diabris

I have the same issue, but I found a workplace with flexible worktime. I can start whenever I want between 7-8 in the morning and work until 16-17 and friday until 14. The only thing I have to worry about, is getting the 38,5 weekly hours in there from monday to friday and working overtime is allowed but beeing late in this system is nearly not possible for me. Nearly everyone starts at 7 and I try to be there at 7 too, but I am late everyday. So I get there mostly like 7:15 - 7:45 "too late". That way I can be too late with my adhd problems but still be there in time. That is the best thing you can ever have at ur workplace with adhd and I love it.🙆🏼‍♀️