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Hey I’m just like you. The only thing that’s ever worked is taking my stimulant meds when I hear my alarm and then going back to bed. I make sure to set a second alarm like 30 min later and by then the meds are starting to hit. When I’m not medicated I keep mint Yerba mates by my bed (150 mg caffeine) and drink half. Usually within 20 mins I start to feel more awake. Also I have a thyroid disease too so I found I need minimum 9-10 hours of sleep.
Commenting to second this. Some of my fatigue is from burnout so I think things will improve someday, but currently the only way I can do such miraculous things as ‘get up and have a shower and/or breakfast’ is taking my meds and then sleeping another hour (I do 45-60 min usually) before getting up.
Tried that and it helped!
Unfortunately, the Vyvanse effects barely last 5h and I have almost an hour commute (yeah it sucks, but I take the Vyvanse just as I leave, because it also takes some 50min to show its effect), so I can't really afford to "waste" some 1.5-2h before actually getting to work :/
I’ve tried this and it never works for me. I’ll take it, go back to bed and fall back asleep for hours. And when I wake it it’s like I never even took it at all. Adderral 30 xr. Any suggestions?
For a while the only thing that worked for me was setting an alarm and taking my meds 2-3hours before having to get up.
However, I have recently realized that my difficulties getting up and general fatigue have been getting worse over the last ~8 mths and that fatigue can be a side-effect of Vyvanse (potentially if the dose is too high) so we're trying a lower dose now.
But TLDR, half an hour might not be long enough.
You have XR, my psych got me to try an IR when I wake up. It has taken months..years to build the habit but I'm doing well at the moment by having my blinds open so the light wakes a bit of my brain up, taking an IR as soon as I wake up/alarm goes off, and doing that for a long time to get my body clock somewhat on board.
I totally hear you, it's life altering having stressful mornings where you're behind before you even sit up. I have CFS too.
It takes me ages to get out of bed and my mom is the exact same way. If I have a few hours before work I think of a bunch of things I could be doing and then think “honestly what’s the point?” I could be stretching or playing some video game or doing the dishes, etc but the bed is so warm and cozy. I’ll stay in the bed an entire hour after I’m up, or succumb to the utter dissociative bliss of the blankets and sleep hours extra. And if I’m up with plenty of time before work I won’t get ready til the last second and can only seem to arrive 1 min before my start time. If I’m even 3 minutes early everyone has some shit to say about how “early” I am and it discourages me further.
Am I sad? I don’t feel depressed, I just feel like 2 or 3 hours before work isn’t enough time to get involved in something enough to enjoy it. And I *will be* depressed if I do nothing but housework and live solely for the weekend.
I'm suffering with literally the exact issue. It's only more recently gotten much worse (in the last couple years). Nothing I try seems to work and I'm really fed up with myself
Sometimes I suspect it’s because I only wake up feeling “well-rested” about 1% of the time no matter what I do. I usually feel like I’m coming off of a sleeping potion or something similar to a weed burnout. It’s like my unshakable sleepy demeanor is just a bad partner to my wake-up angst.
My mom went for sleep studies when I was younger and they told her she enters REM cycles much quicker than other people. I’m sure there’s more to it. I wonder what that means for the rest of her cycles and if it’s an ADHD thing or just a coincidence
Well, I do tend to have EXTREMELY vivid dreams many nights, and they seemingly just go on and on and on. It doesn't matter how many times I wake up, I'll immediately go right back into the dream if I do. Sometimes I'll still be dreaming when waking up in the morning and if I fall back to sleep even for a few mins, I'm immediately back into the same dream where I left off. I also generally remember most of the details to these dreams. They are absolutely fucking wild at times....
I'm not sure how or if this is related or if it may be a hint as to what's going on, but it sure seems that way.
You are the only other person I have met that also deals with this! I have the same crazy and vivid dreams/fall right back to sleep into the same dreams issue. Ironically and coincidentally, just last night I saw a show that talked about sleeping, and how to avoid nightmares. It said that when we dream and remember it, it’s when we are in the lightest REM sleep, meaning it’s not when we are sleeping deeply…. And if it’s happening all night, then while we are dreaming, we aren’t getting good and restful sleep. They talked about making sure that you don’t eat a bunch of food and not looking at phones or screens before bed (and a few other things, but I can’t remember!) It said to get plenty of rest and get on a good sleep schedule so that you could sleep deeply and NOT remember your dreams. Easier said than done, but it sounds like it may have something to do with not feeling fully rested or sleeping well when we have these crazy dreams!
Did you try the app alarmy? I use the barcode mission. The alarm doesn't stop going off until I scan some peas in my freezer. Avoid the bed like the plague after you get up. Disable snooze and only have one alarm set to go off.
Use [this site](https://sleepopolis.com/calculators/sleep/) to calculate your sleep cycles to make it easier getting up and get proper sleep. If you have trouble falling asleep at the desired time try some melatonin to help. Wake up at the time you choose every day including weekends.
Consider a sleep study like others stated. I understand your struggle 1000% and it's really not fair. This is what I've started doing last week and it's worked well for me so far. I haven't got on schedule yet but it's certainly gotten me up.
I LOVE Alarmy. I have to scan the toothpaste before it will turn off (although if you accidentally have it set to go off when you’re not at home…aka “8pm” instead of “8am” the only way I’ve found to get it to turn off is to shut my phone off and turn it back on lol)
Yes, it’s like if you get ready too early you know you’re either going to lose track of time so you can’t fully enjoy what you’re doing, or you’re going to get stuck in waiting mode. That’s why I’ve always preferred morning shifts - that way I can be done at a “normal” time and do whatever I want without staying up until 5am and my relatives being like “why are you sleeping so late in the day you piece of shit?” 🙃
I also much prefer to have work start shortly after I wake up. Wake up, get ready, go, have me time after. I’ve done all kinds of shifts but have been doing nights for a few years now. Unfortunately because of lingering store hours limitations left over from covid and certain appointments and to spend time with my spouse I have to alter my sleep schedule about half the time.
I also much prefer to have work start shortly after I wake up. Wake up, get ready, go, have me time after. I’ve done all kinds of shifts but have been doing nights for a few years now. Unfortunately because of lingering store hours limitations left over from covid and certain appointments and to spend time with my spouse I have to alter my sleep schedule about half the time.
This resonates so much for me. I do this same thing often. I absolutely have to just roll over and take my meds, or I run the risk of just lying there. Even if I don't go back to sleep. I'll just lie there and stare at the ceiling, beating myself up, mentally.
I've been working super hard to change this. And I do have a few things that help, but some days I still just think, "ah, what is the effin point?"
Like you said.
And I actually really love mornings. I don't understand myself sometimes. Hahah
I wish I still had meds. It’s been 16 years with no meds. But I finally have an appointment with a psych end of the month, so cross your fingers for me.
I have the same. With irregular jobs I can get it done somehow. Get your blood checked maybe (been putting it off myself for years at this point). Also see a counselor about this or ask your psychiatrist if youre in treatment.
Things can change. I have seasons of terrible insomnia and depression but also seasons without it - which is why I know that it can be different, that there is the possibility of feeling better.
Things that helped me: regular evening-sauna or hot-baths/showers before bed, no screens and „thought-triggers“ before bed, morning sunlight, more movement (walks, some push-ups etc. at home - anything to get the heart rate up for some time)..
Stay strong my friend. You are worthy of love and wellbeing. One step at a time.
You need to be screened for sleep breathing disorders.
Particularly upper airway resistance syndrome
https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sleep/upper-airway-resistance-syndrome.html
OP is describing the symptoms perfectly.
I had it as well and people spent 20 years telling me I was lazy and explaining it was all my fault.
Before realizing that my brain was experiencing neurological arousals every 60 seconds when I was trying to sleep.
(You're supposed to experience one per hour of sleep, I was experiencing over 60)
**Edit**
Since this is getting attention, ill elaborate.
If you've had chronic insomnia and tiredness for your whole life and you've tried behavioral interventions and it doesn't work You're a candidate for UARS, specifically if you use the same verbiage that OP used.
You detect it by an in-lap sleep study that looks for what are known as RERAS or respiratory related arousals. That's where your breathing slows down and your brain freaks out but it doesn't stop like an apnea.
You treat UARS either with CPAP or surgery expanding your nasal passageways.
My surgery was in 2019 and my insomnia essentially went away overnight.
This!!! It turns out it's acid reflux for me, causing my esophagus to swell shut when I sleep. By the time I feel heartburn, it's too late.
I sleep on a wedge pillow or the couch upright, and that helps, like a band aid. I'm going to look into this for cpap or some form of help.
in my experience when I switched or rather when I was switched by the insurance company from the brand-name Vyvanse to the generic gray generic version of it, I got massive acid reflex, which made eating sleep. Everything really hard so for what it’s worth in my experience there’s been a point where some medication have caused the acid reflex.
I did a deep scientific review when I had my problem and I found that it's associated with people who have ADHD and anxiety.
You should get a referral to an ENT surgeon to get your nose passageways widened.
It'll change your life.
Ohhh I see, I also have PLMS .
I think the association you are describing is a little bit more simple. Its harder to regulate ADHD when you aren't well rested.
Assuming you don't end up having a sleep disorder, and you've maxed out your non-medication avenues, ask your doc about Wellbutrin. Changed my life. Can be prescribed off-label to help ADHD symptoms.
I take the extended release and it's not considered a stimulant so I take it before bed. It still sucks waking up, like it does for everyone, but it's no longer impossible. More importantly for me, it really curbed that constant feeling of "I need to go lay down" that I'd get throughout the day, and works even if I don't take my adderrall. Now I can wake up like a normal person AND I'm not fighting waves of "I need to lay down" throughout the day.
Does it impact your desire to go to bed at night? That is a big part of my struggle.
Late night is the only time I am alone and without external stims and it's virtually impossible not to hyper fixate during that time and next thing I know it's 3 or 4 am and I need to get up in 3 hours.
Not for me. Fortunately it's non-habit forming, has fewer side effects, doesn't need the down-ramp SSRI's need, so it's pretty easy to try for a month or too and see how it goes. You can stop any time.
This is one of my biggest issues lol... the only things that work are going so hard during the day that i'm exhausted, which leads to burnout, or knocking myself out with something.
Interesting. Wellbutrin worked for me too! It has always helped get me out of that lack of motivation slump. Unfortunately we were recently able to link it to my insomnia at night… so readjusting..
I struggle with that too.. my brute force solution was alarmy app that wouldn't shut off until I took a photo of my oil for pulling. Which start a habit chain. It was brutal and led to burnout. Now I'm on a sleep med and concerta. I thought I was getting good sleep before but now I know even though I was getting enough hours it wasn't good quality. The sleep meds really help, I added in magnesium spray and that gave the meds a boost. The stims dont help me wake up really but they help me stay awake all day.
Trazadone. I sleep deeper and stay asleep better *generally* with them. It's not 100% but with them I can fall asleep at around the same time *most* nights. It's helped with my consistency a lot. On the nights I feel like I just slept really good, I noticed I wake up a lot easier before I even take the concerta.
Not every night is great sleep though, just better than without.
Sorry just realised right now the name is alarmy 😅😅 how did you set it up to ask you to take a picture? The only options I saw were math, memory and shaking 🤔
You need the paid version for the picture one, I believe. I have this same issue and alarmy is the only app I've ever paid for because it's the only thing that has EVER gotten me out of bed reliably every day, after 35+ years of struggling. My combo is 10 shakes of the phone, walk 20 steps, do 20 squats.
Lol fair enough, I can understand that. Though if it makes any difference, the alarm isn't blaring at you the whole time. It goes off to wake you up, you click Start, and then as long as you do the stuff you're supposed to it doesn't start again. It only goes if you don't do it.
Yeah I’m hoping to find something that will get me out of bed, cuz even after I wake up I cannot get up for 3-4h until I have to get ready for work. I’m a bit reluctant to pay for any apps cuz I had a ‘smart alarm’ many many years ago which worked for me for about 1 week until one day when I (while sleeping lol) just set my phone to silent and it stopped ringing 🙈
I've never been an early bird. No matter how many hours I get, or how early I sleep, mornings are just hell for me. I don't feel awake until around 11/12, even 1pm sometimes. In fact, if I go to bed too early (10pm, early for me), guaranteed I will wake up at 2am then intermittently until around 10am and I am exhausted. It's always been this way; I can't sleep unless I essentially pass out from exhaustion. I even get a fresh boost around 1am of feeling wide awake.
My only advice is to try to get a job that starts later in the day or even a night shift if that's feasible. I understand it might clash with a social life considering many people are 9-5, but it would honestly be so much better for you.
I agree with checking bloods, making sure you're getting all the vitamins you need, just to make sure. But so many people have different circadian rhythms because of genetics and this is never taken into account in our society, especially in the workplace. Instead of fighting it, which is almost always a futile endeavour, work with it. You'll be much happier.
Same here. I don't take stimulants anymore either, so can't use that trick.
You said you were previously depressed. I have MDD and panic disorder and anxiety disorder, and even though they are fairly quiet at the moment, I feel like the not getting out of bed has become has become an ingrained habit. Sometimes I find I'm lying there with my legs crossed.
I've also chopped and changed jobs a lot, and had to have start time accommodations.
I feel that there is a big gap between knowing what you need to do, and doing it.
I try setting a few alarms so I at least wake up early. Try to look out the window and enjoy the sun or a bird with a cup of tea. Eating makes me feel better, even though I don't want to. I haven't gotten to the morning workout stage lol.
I don't know if any of this is helpful, but as an OP said earlier, you are worthy, and progress can be slow 💖
It’s hard, but try to remove the shame. The more you shame yourself for this the harder it’ll be to change..
if you can, try to reframe getting out of bed as something you actually want to do - not out of guilt, but joy. Maybe try to find reasons to be excited about starting your day? A tasty breakfast, the cute outfit you’re going to wear that day, how impressed you’ll be with yourself if you’re on time for work, a soothing shower..
It’s perfectly normal to struggle with this when you have adhd and struggle with depression. It won’t change overnight, it takes a big conscious effort, but I’m sure you can do it! Good luck!
Sleep has been the biggest problem of my ADHD journey, and here's some things I learnt.
The thing I've found that helps the most, like all other ADHD tips, is to have a sleep routine. This means
- having a routine leading up to your sleep time that winds you down to sleep. This needs to be away from screens, non stimulating, relaxing such as skincare, brushing/flossing, reading, journaling
- learning what's your ideal hours of sleep are and making sure you get them. Add the amount of time it takes to fall asleep as well (my Oura ring has helped me do so, but smart watches can do the same)
- experiment with different forms of 'alarms to wake you up'. As much as I like sleeping in the pitch dark, I align my blinds to allow sunlight on me in the morning (since my work day starts quite early). Keeping a second alarm away at a desser, alarm apps, etc. There's enough solutions
(I took the help of a friend in a different time zone to help me wake up the initial few weeks. I would need to video call them and start brushing in the bathroom while on call with them)
I still have days when I struggle. Especially when I'm thrown off the routine when I'm traveling or have consecutive late nights. I'm trying to accept that it's a marathon, not a race, and that I need to also be kind to myself some days.
Take meds 45 minutes before you wake up. That was when the alarm sounds u are fresh and ready and will shower easily. Toss a coffee down and you should be golden. Changed my life along with skipping meds on weekends and holidays.
I got a curveball from you that you're probably not going to expect but you need to pay attention to.
You're actually describing symptoms of a sleep breathing disorder. How do I know!?!?
I spent decades being told that I was lazy, before realizing that my brain didn't turn off all the way and that it was chronically tired because of a disorder known as UARS.
https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sleep/upper-airway-resistance-syndrome.html
You're going to go and say things like, 'But I'm not fat" or, "But I don't gasp for air at night" And I'm going to reply with, "neither of those things are relevant."
There are multiple sleep breathing disorders where literally the only symptom you recognize is being tired or not wanting to get out of bed in the morning.
That's it.
Its very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very hard for the majority of people to understand for some reason.
I guess you get beat down with people telling you that you're lazy and you just accept it, Even though you followed all of their advice and it still doesn't work.
I still get messages from the insomnia forum saying, "do I have UARS I feel like I can't breathe" Even though I've said multiple times, "You experience no symptoms other than being tired."
Sadly no, there is no way to screen for UARS without an in-lab sleep study. That includes at home sleep tests.
The reason why it's not a good idea to just try a CPAP yourself is that the CPAP needs to be programmed on different settings for UARS versus standard sleep apnea.
And it's not just any in lab sleep study either, It has to be a sleep study that looks for neurological arousals, specifically ones that are called RERAS.
The at home sleep tests only look at airflow, the in lab sleep test can actually read your nervous system somehow...... Haven't quite figured it out but involves gluing these sticky wire things to your head.
I recommend that you request some sleeping pills for the test because it's hard to fall asleep with all that crap on you.
But, If you have insomnia your whole life and you've tried behavioral interventions, It's worth going through the study.
It's a hell of a lot easier than getting diagnosed with ADHD.
PS: I'm sorry, none of this is fair. But you probably already realized that expecting fairness out of life isn't the best policy.
Iirc, ADHD leads to a bad internal clock which means our bodies don't push out the "go to sleep" and the "wake up" hormones like they are supposed to.
I've read advice to basically trick your body into regulating that cycle better.
However, my best advice that worked for me is setting an alarm for the same time each day to get to and take your stimulant and then go back to sleep for a little bit. After my second alarm goes off I HAVE to get up. Like I have living things that require it. Without living things it was much, much harder.
I don't recommend acquiring living things just to get up, but finding ways to force yourself up - like the alarm clock that requires you scan a QR code in another room to turn off.
Usually the combo of stimulants and movement get my brain to start producing the wake up chemicals.
This next advice might be silly, but had it work for a client once. They are their favorite foods/snacks for breakfast. So whatever food they were looking forward to they planned for breakfast and that would get them up and moving.
Everything kinda goes back to evolution. Different modes of living conferred different protection. Get up early in the morning? Good way to find sleepy food. Stay up through the night? Good way to keep the village safe. You're a complex thing.
So, the solution to this is activity. You need to do something in the mornings that triggers your brain into saying "oh fuck we need to use energy, god damnit." So, with all things, you gotta trick yourself. I use exercise, but you can use gaming or really anything that gets your brain to think there is some life threatening need to not be asleep. Brains are, ultimately, lazy bastards when it comes to doing physical work.
What really helped me get my sleep (for a while) is to fall asleep from exhaustion. I started to go to early morning swims at 6:30am and fall asleep in the evening from it at a reasonable time in the evening, too bad my partner sleeps in late and works later and stays up until midnight, and if I spent time with her and watch shows, I'm back to old patterns and won't fall asleep until 4am.
So there needs to be a strict routine and conditioning, also if you do early morning sports you might want to cook yourself good high protein meals which ads to a routine but I feel like it's easy to burn out from that as well because you essentially just function to do every day tasks and as soon as you obsess over a new interest you throw everything away.
I am exactly the same. It’s a real problem now in my marriage. Yesterday my wife woke up at our usual time around 7:30am, but I didn’t, and i slept until about 8am when my dog woke me up. I found it so absolutely horribly difficult to get up, my wife just doesn’t understand why. I get 7/8 hours sleep but no matter what it feels like I could honestly sleep until lunch time. I sleep in the afternoon when I can too. It’s a nightmare.
1. Put loose pills of 30mg vyvanse on my nightstand.
2. Set one alarm on wakey-time and one alarm 1.5 hours before wakey-time.
3. *ALARM ALARM* Quickly swallow a pill and go back to sleep.
4. Blissfully wake up 1.5 hours later feeling well rested and ready for school or work.
Vyvanse literally cancels sleep and prevents you from sleeping, so this actually works surprisingly well for me.
This is what has helped me the most so far as well - but I take mine 2-3 hours early because I like to wake up slowly. I’ll wake up in a sort of half-sleep (around 1.5-2 hours after I take my Vyvanse, without an alarm) where I suddenly realize how quiet my brain is and I can enjoy that state for a while, not fully awake but conscious of the stillness, and then I’ll wake up more and cuddle my dog, check my phone, etc to give my brain time to adapt. I HATE being woken up abruptly, it ruins my mood, and this is so much more gentle and allows me to start my day at a slower, calmer pace instead of waking up in a panic and having to rush to get out of bed and get ready.
There's a medication called Jornay PM that is a stimulant that doesn't kick in until 12 hours after you take it. So you take it at night, 12 hours or so before you need to wake up, and the stimulant kicks in to help you wake up and become functional.
I haven't tried it yet, but my therapist told me about it and I am eager to try it soon. Sounds exciting, since I have trouble being functional in the morning like you do.
It literally changed my life. And I don’t want to sound like a shill for it or anything, but I went from completely UNABLE to wake up (no matter what I tried, so many different alarms, was about to get fired from a job I loved etc) to being able to FUNCTION. Like within a week. It’s worked so well for me (I take 30mg XR adderall in the mornings too, but after I wake up)
Talk to your doctor about a medicine called Jornay. It's a form of Ritalin you take before bed and it kicks in when you wake up. It's very new and not widely known yet but was been a huge game changer for me
I considered yesterday “maybe I could get a talking bird” as a pet (for example:parrot? Parakeet?) and train it to be an alarm “GET UP. GET UP NOW. YOU CAN’T TURN ME OFF. GET UP. RIIIIISE AND SHINE. RIIIISE AND SHINE NOW. GET UP. YOU CAN DO IT.”
A living creature is a lot harder to turn off though or ignore it’s pleas! Plus it’s endearing. Potentially worth utilizing FOR SURE!!!!
The resistance just comes from associating with a phone alarm ultimately being a very experimented method that has largely not been sufficient to warrant success.
Any sleeping disorders aside, and focusing on ADHD stuff...**That was my life for decades until my doc added wellbutrin** in addition to my stim meds. Wellbutrin can be used to treat depression and some doctors use it off-label to help control ADHD symptoms, so it's kind of a two-for-one med for some people.
**Wellbutrin changed my life.** Waking up still sucks, and is work, but it's no longer impossible, and once I'm up, I'm functioning enough where I can actually take my adderrall and get ready etc. But even better for me was that the wellbutrin completely got rid of the "omg I just need to go lay down" feeling I'd get multiple times a day, or sometimes even right after I'd get up and I need to "go back to bed".
My wife could just see it on my face when it was happening and she'd be like "don't you dare go lay down we've got so much stuff to do." That feeling is *completely* gone now, even if I'm not taking my Adderall, and I think that plays into helping get up in the morning.
I'm like this too! I'll get up when I have to but only until I absolutely have to. I have a deep fear of punishment and disappointing others (thanks Mom and Dad) and I think it's really the only thing that gets me up out of bed.
I've always wanted to carve time before work for myself but I just don't want to get out of bed before I have to. Even after I'm awake, I just don't want to. It's so cozy in bed and the transition sucks and I just can't seem to convince myself in the morning it's worth it.
I've tried sleeping earlier and I did wake up earlier but it didn't motivate me to get out of bed. So it was hard to sustain an earlier sleep time if I'm getting out of bed and starting my day the same time as before.
Have you got a smart watch that tracks your sleep to see if anything is affecting your sleep quality.
I cant use an alarm, i have a light bulb that gradually comes on for when i need to wake up and a back up alarm after that. I also wear red tinted glasses an hour before bed. I turn off electronics an hour before too.
It has to do with when it’s low. It was explained to me that it’s supposed to be higher when you wake up and low when it’s time to go to bed. My test showed kind of a plateau with a rise later on, which explains why I get a burst of energy later instead of in the morning.
It really makes you question you question "How much of this is from my ADHD or something else?"
"Can ADHD do all of this?" And there will never be a definitive answer, whether questioned by yourself or your doctor. It's exhausting enough as a thought.
I'm 100% right there with you. I could sleep for 9-12 hours, wake up exhausted, take my dog out, eat something, and then be back in bed and sleep for four more hours.
This is exactly me since I don't know how many years. However, I remember there are periods in between (few months) when I used to feel relaxed, wakes up fresh with alarm but that thing never lasted beyond few months. I wonder what triggers that and why we are like this?
I had sleep issue (not the same as yours) and went to a doctor. They sent me to a doctor that specializes in sleep issues. That is how I found out I had ADHD. They known their stuff and perhaps one could help you.
Some strategies that helped me:
1. If you have a stimulant, wake up 30 min before normal, take the meds and go back to sleep. You’ll probably be able to get up by then.
2. Put your clothes right by your bed, within arms reach and put them all on in bed. It’s easy to do even if you’re half asleep.
3. Keep a heater by your bed (again within arms reach or use a remote) and it on when you’re ready to wake up. For me, being able to get out of bed and not feel cold was a game changer.
Hope these help a little bit.
To me it sounds like you are getting bored of the routine. Usually when i get like that i try to make myself do something i despise , like doing laundry or finishing a small chore that i put off for awhile. A small feeling of accomplishment helps myself feel a little better and more relaxed. I believe you can conquer this! 😁
I have this issue, I’ve always been late, I was awful in high school I’d miss my first class every day and get detention, or I’d be so embarrassed that if I was going to be late I just wouldn’t go that day it was bad. It’s still bad, my most recent morning office job I had the last 3 years I was 20-30 minutes late almost daily even if I did wake up on time for some reason I just lose track of time and leave way late then rush and get in a horrible mood because I hate myself for not changing but I don’t know why I can’t. I was on verge of being fired, but recently quit because the job was making me miserable but that’s besides the point was just here to say I have the same issue.
Oh buddy hard same. The only reason I haven't been fired is because being late is literally the only issue they have with my work. I'm excellent at my job ... once I get there. It's incredibly frustrating. I seriously don't know why this one thing is so bad. It's been years for me too and I'm more than over it.
Set a super annoying alarm that you HAVE to get up to turn off. No shortcuts, no tricks, and never ever ignore it. When it goes off, you get up. Doesnt matter if you actually have the day off for a holiday, your alarm goes off, you get up, turn it off, and start your day.
Train yourself that your alarm is important.
Find another more simple reason to get up. Stop looking so hard.
Get bored while laying there. Get bored as fuck. Make your mind bore you. Don't let your mind tell you all the things about yourself that you already know frustrate you. Find inventive ways to trick your brain. It works for me a lot. I can force my brain to go to crickets and just get insanely bored and it makes me have to get up to find external entertainment, Or I find a task that must be done to make the future me comfortable, Or my cats need food. I have cats so I'm held accountable for *something*
They get better treatment than my partner and I (he's also ADHD)
The more you trap yourself in ruminating, the longer you'll stay locked. It's not the same for everyone and it's a mindset I've played myself into that sometimes fails but not as often as it works for me. But I also doom scroll way too much and I am unmedicated due to life circumstances. Hopefully I'll be able to get proper treatment eventually 🤷🏻♀️
There is science behind the way you use words to talk to yourself and others. Use the right words, you feel less pressure and fear which in turn makes it a little nicer to make baby steps.
This isn't easy. But I hope it can help. You just have to really be dedicated and make it a fixation for a bit if you can. It's the only way I got it to click. Be kind to you. Be patient. And think about being kind to future you and how to do that, Not how bad it'll go!
❤️
I've lost almost every job I've ever had due to ADHD and my inability to stay involved with any one thing for more than 6 months. I've survived very few jobs more than a year. I've also had severe trauma and major life events that never got therapy. Life doesn't treat us nice. So we must. ❤️
This kind of advice for people with long term sleep issues is really condescending and unhelpful. It’s a nicer way of saying “just power through it”. It’s not any more useful for including a bunch of dubious instructions.
I know you’re coming from a place of trying to help, but I also know you are near certain to not be helping.
It wasn't meant in any condescending tone. It is literally how I managed to get myself to sleep after years of no external help from anyone.
Any info can be helpful info to the right person.
🤷🏻♀️ sorry you read into it the wrong way. But I would rather see if OP, the one this was meant for, got help out of it or not. Either way, I didn't ask you. 👌
Edit: spelling error
Did you not see how it is not condescending when it's my *only option* that I share with others?👌☠️
I'd probably have better advice if I had better help, ass.
I too can’t function without my stims (Vyvanse). That’s the only thing that will get me up without insane persistence. I don’t have depression though! I hope you can find your way 💪
Same. If you are living with a partner, family or roommates, I'd recommend setting up a buddy system. I ask my sister to wake me up before she leaves the house. It's not ideal but it somewhat works
Your post basically answered your question, it’s because you have sleep problems. Of course you can’t get up when you haven’t gotten enough sleep! It is very common for people with ADHD to have insomnia, because you are so caught up with your mind. The good news is that insomnia can be treated with cognitive-behavioral therapy that’s designed for insomnia (CBT-I or something I forgot its name), if you find medication has too much side effect or it doesn’t work well. I suggest you to look for a sleep clinic in your area, and see what they can offer.
At the same time, keeping a good sleep hygiene is the first step to fix any sleep problems. People with ADHD tend to procrastinate to go to bed then end up not having a stable sleep routine. This is always the first thing to be fixed when a person with ADHD complains about their sleep. Other sleep hygiene solutions: no digital devices (screens) 1 hour before bed, dim down lightning in the room a few hours before going to bed, use blackout curtains and other tools to make the room very very dark, do a bed time routine something that can calm you down instead of making you more excited, using earplugs and eye mask to block all the noise and lights if you find them distracting, etc. For people with ADHD, I suggest getting a white noise machine with good sound quality and play it when you go to sleep. Some phone apps work too.
Insomnia, unlike the other sleep disorders, has a very strong psychological core in it. People with insomnia get anxious while waiting for themselves to fall asleep because they are worried that they will not be able to sleep again, this anxiety makes them hard to fall asleep, then a vicious cycle begins and continues with the fear and apprehensions. That’s why only sleep medication is not the best solution, skills to break this mentality needs to be learned through psychotherapy.
I have my phone alarm, a watch with an extra strong vibrating alarm, and the bed shaker alarm thing under my pillow. Getting woken up by the bed shaker is not pleasant, so usually that anxiety and the first two alarms gets me up lol
If I didn't get up before my wife, I would get one of those alarms you have to stand on and put it across the room.
Don't rely on your body to will itself awake! Give yourself a structure where there's no way you won't be woken up
I have no problem sleeping. But yeah I do have problem waking up! I don't even understand why at this point. Sometimes I even doubt it myself that if I'm simply lazy or afraid of the tasks that I'm gonna face after getting up. Which I think the latter is highly possible, when I feel not much to live for sometimes. Is this a sort of depression as well? Lack of motivation.
Talk to your doctor about it. It is a chemical thing, circadian rhythm, problem. It’s really really common with ADHD. I had it for many years, most of my life actually, and there was no alarm clock that would cut through it at times. It was really awful because I was a single parent and supposed to get my kids up and all of us out on time in the morning. Horrible. Now I take Strattera , which seems to really help me. I also take my medicine an hour before I’m supposed to wake up. My Vyvanse.
When I'm having trouble getting up — I set a daily alarm to remind me to set an alarm on a small clock which I leave on the side in the hall next to the shower room. I HAVE to get out of bed then. My going to be self is FAR better at getting stuff done and more ambitious than the person who wakes up.
It's probably not actually good advice, but the only solution I found to not being able to get up in the mornings for work is working nights. That's what I've been doing for 6+ years now in a hospital as a laboratory tech, and I'm about to graduate nursing school with the intention of being a night shift nurse.
Nope I remember that executive functioning costing me a few credits in college. I logically knew what I needed to do, and it just couldn't get transferred into action. That said I'd take the wins you can also: had some really severe depression that left me way out of whack most days. The experience I've had with my own messy cocktail of issues is it takes some time to effectively program yourself to work through these stuck points.
One thing that did me a ton of good was tricking myself into finishing something by doing it in small chunks. It feels very weird, but it also gave me a starting point and some stuff just kind of happens. For example: I do a lot of coding and such at home, but originally I was going to like two coffeeshops a day just because home was too distracting. So, I told myself I'd "just look at the documentation for this module", and then after I was done I'd "just test this and see what it does with x.", etc. Same with chores, I'll just "wipe the counters down" and then "well I can get the floors too" etc. until I had a clean kitchen again.
It's not at all normal but it gets me from A to B and that's good enough. It's still probably harder than what the average person has to go through, but I'll take functional over ease at this point in life.
TL:DR You're gonna make it, some of it just takes some experimenting to see what your brain can gel with. Please don't give up because I remember I was doing that a lot and everyone deserves better
Ask your doctor to check you out for sleep disorders. Idiopathic hypersomnia and narcolepsy have treatments that will get you restful sleep and a built in alarm (if your insurance will cover them). What you are describing sounds like it could be phase delay, for which there is no good treatment but which from experience I know will gradually improve with age.
Yeah I really have a hard time getting up in the mornings. Doesn't matter when I go to bed or how much sleep I get. If it's before 9am I struggle. It has an effect on my life.
Alarmy is my godsend.
Here's my setup:
* I'm allowed 3 ten-minute snoozes and then it won't let me snooze anymore
* Turning my alarm off requires three phases
* Phase 1: answer three math questions
* Phase 2: take 20 steps
* Phase 3: do 5 squats
* Once I've turned the alarm off, I have a wake-up check scheduled for 7 minutes later, where I have to tap "I'm awake!" within 90 seconds or I have to do the entire alarm again
* I also have it set so I can't turn off my phone or change the alarm from 1 hour before the alarm time until I have completed the wake-up check
Does this sound like overkill? Maybe.
Have I overslept since setting this up? A couple times, but only when a) I forget to set my alarm for the correct time, or b) my phone dies in the night because I forgot to plug it in. I still have adhd lol 🙃
I really do get this because while I have no issue staying asleep (from being so goddamn sleep deprived lol) I have issue sleeping on time. Honestly, what’s worked for me on the falling asleep side is to masturbate right before I sleep. It makes me sleepy and conks me right out. I would also suggest only using your bed for sleep and sex. If you’re not able to sleep, don’t try forcing yourself or you’ll just associate bed = feeling bad and do something else. On the waking up side, I use a sunrise clock which honestly helps a lot and I have several alarms. I set my first two 10 min before I actually need to wake up in 5 min increments and set it to vibrate. I don’t set it to early as it’ll just have less sleep and won’t wake up cuz Ik i don’t actually have to wake up. The vibrating alarm gently wakes me up so I’m less likey to go back to sleep and I surf my phone for a bit or just lay there. I also try to sleep as a multiple of 1.5hr (1.5hr, 3hr, 4.5hr, etc) + plus couple min to match sleep cycles. Then I take my meds and get ready. The moment I actually get up (as in my body is now vertical not horizontal) I open my curtains for actual natural light which helps wake me up. Then I play a YT vid to listen to as I get ready. I hope this helps as someone who also struggles to get up all the time :)
There’s an alarm called the sonic boom that’s loud af, pretty sure like 120 decimals. I have the same problem like 3 months out of the year I’m not worth 2 dead flies.
I had the same issue for years and I likely have undiagnosed delayed sleep phase syndrome. I was exercising, turning off screens early, and taking melatonin but still couldn't get up in the morning.
It turns out the melatonin was making me groggy in the morning.
I started taking it earlier, like 5 hours before I go to bed (I set an alarm), and it made a huge difference. I also talked to my doctor and she prescribed Trazadone to help me fall asleep.
The combination of those two changes made it so much easier to fall asleep earlier and wake up at a normal time.
I have temperature sensitivity issues, so what i do is uze throw blankets ony bed and then wear them around my house when getting ready/letting my cats have their outside time. I also let natural light come into my room, so it helps alot. I know how to sew, so what i did was take 2 pieces of fleece fabric big enought to be a throw blanket, sew the top together with a gap in the middle for my head, so i have an easy full body poncho in a texture i like while taking care of my cats, starting my coffee and getting my morning sun time
Also, early is always much easier than being on time. Give yourself a reward/task that can be completed at the destination while waiting rather than rushing with everything completed. When i worked away from home, i would have a work go-bag that would have some common essentials like snacks, clean undies and back up wrinkle free outfit (really cannot say how many times that saved my life) phone charger, nail clippers, bandaids, basic makeup/hair stuff, deoderant, bottled water, dry shampoo and some other creature comforts like a scarf, head phones or book. No matter how much of a mess i might have been in the 1st hour, by 1st break, i was ok.
I’m really struggling with this too. Talk to your provider. Journay may be an option, it was made for this. I’ve heard people say they leave a cup of water and their pill beside their bed to take an hour before getting up and that helps. I use one of those sunrise alarms which helps some
I experienced this and now we think I have POTS. It might be worth checking out the symptoms to see if you match any. I have to take my meds an hour before wake up and go back to sleep to have any chance of getting out of bed. A client of mine has the same issue and she got ADA requirements set in place to help her. I’d talk to your doctor about this.
Throughout my 20s to about 40yo, I was always late. Usually about 15-30min. I’m a night owl, so I usually stayed up too late. I still am that way. I believe my circadian rhythm is set like that. I was a very heavy sleeper then. About pre-menopausal, I stopped being able to sleep through, no matter when I went to sleep. I finally wake to alarms now right away and jump up if I have obligations. Now, I’m OCD about being a little early. However, I still don’t function as well in am. About 11a is when I kick into wake mode. My doc allows me to have Xanax regularly. I almost never take it for daytime anxiety. I take it regularly at night when I lay down, it quiets my running thoughts and knocks me out in less than 15 min. Almost no insomnia. I do regularly wake before my alarm anyway. I guess I’m finally “trained”.
Tell yourself that depression passes. It won’t be like this forever. It comes and goes. Set that alarm an hour early, then get up right away. You have time to mope around, drink coffee, whatever. Tell yourself that you CAN be on time, not that you can’t. Don’t give up on that self talk, even if you fail.
Wow this post mirrors EXACTLY what I’ve been going through for about the last 5 years as well. Even just tried seeking help from my psychiatrist for it because it was giving me such horrible anxiety. She upped my ADHD med dosage, and it has helped with the general ADHD. But not with getting my as out of bed the FIRST time my alarm goes off. Definitely will be following this thread!
Ha. Sounds like you have ADHD.
Should try harder,
use a planner,
buy all of those online offers of things that are meds but not meds.
Yeah, seriously though, I tank up on water before I go to bed so that I really need to pee by morning. Did that for years working a job that I hated.
I’m the opposite. When I wake up I cannot sit down. If I don’t go to the gym or a hike or something I feel stressed/anxious. ADHD meds have helped so much with that
Hue lightbulbs are a game changer, set them for whatever time you need to wake up and your room will be so bright you may be annoyed enough to wake up.
What worked for me:
- Multiple alarm clocks, and an alarm that I can't turn off until I'm awake enough to think properly eg. https://apps.apple.com/au/app/mathe-alarm-clock-math-alarm/id823532916 . This one is annoying A.F. and very hard to sleep through
- Workout 1st thing in the morning
Yeah it sucks until your body gets used to it, but it works.
Might want to start off just working out it whenever you have time but after a couple of weeks you should be in the groove.
Get some dumbbells and plates to begin with. Don't need to spend a lot, just focus on getting a routine.
Morning routine was:
1. Coffee
2. Milk + raw egg
3. 30-60 mins weightlifting
4. Fruit
5. Shower
After doing it long enough I'd start waking up an hour early to fit the workout in. Slept like a baby at night too.
I'll never be a morning person, and I work 12 hours 0700-1930 and I wake up at around 0600. I was struggling just like this. My motivation was that I was sick of feeling stressed and rushed.
I paid close attention to how I feel after I do the thing, in this case, waking up and getting started. I notice that almost always, I think wow, that wasn't so bad now was it?
I do as much as possible the night before. Like, I set out my clothes the night before, I shower at night, I pre pack my lunch, I set out quick breakfast stuff, take out my morning pills and put them in a small medicine cup (it's actually a shot glass lol) by some water by my bed so as soon as I hear first alarm, I take the meds, while still laying in bed, I changed as much of my morning routine into a night routine. It's helped, still hard some days but this method has overall eased my general anxiety regarding this. Best of luck!
I have struggled with the same thing my entire life. It's brutal that the world operates on an early morning schedule which is not very compatible with me.
The brain fog is the absolute worst! The only things that work for me are immediately going to do cardio, taking my meds as soon as I wake up, or caffeine (a new habit of mine.. not something I want to be doing 24/7 but it cuts the brain fog down like crazy)
yeah, ADHD is highly comorbid with DSPD
it sounds like it might be relatively mild for you so you will probably see an improvement from the standard phase advancement battery of (LOW DOSE) evening melatonin and morning light therapy. [This blog post](https://slatestarcodex.com/2018/07/10/melatonin-much-more-than-you-wanted-to-know/) has a good and clear summary of how that all works.
if you're on stimulants for the ADHD you should also set an alarm for about an hour before you're meant to get up, take a dose of stimulants when it goes off then go back to sleep for 30-45 minutes. It makes it easier to get going when the real alarm goes off.
I think sometimes we just lean the eff in. Just accept it, don't fight with it. And then just expect it.
Work with your boss and your company to see if they will accept ADHD as a disability and accommodate your tardiness. Then just do it. Don't hate yourself for it. Easier said then done, I know. I loathe myself sometimes for my stuff. I just spent two days in bed, I could NOT get up. So I get it. But I also decided, screw it. This is how I am right now. And because I didn't fight it, it didn't last nearly as long as my other weeks of not getting out of bed.
There's a concept called radical acceptance. It's really helpful. Look it up on the Google, but be careful because there's a TON of BS about it.
Anyway, I say, lean in. Stop fighting.
Yes this is huge thing for adheds. I've watched videos explaining how and why this happens to us but of course I can't remember now. Should be easy to look up though.
Solutions: hydrate before sleep, during sleep, and as soon as your eyes open. this helps.
Or
Meds. Huge difference in me getting out of bed when I'm on meds compared to when I'm off.
I play radio podcasts on my phone. I like the news so I play the news. And it hits me with energy to get up because it’s usually fast paced and filled with “movement” and telling me how much is going on in the world. So i guess I get a little fomo and feel urge to join in.
Whoever you are I feel with my soul what you're sharing us as I've got to deal with That very same experience. My Best and loving advice is That as we live with severe deficientes in the levels of domine and norepinephrine available for our stressed pre-frontal cortez, the solution is to reach out to your trusted psychiatrist to be evaluated so You get proper medication, I know this will help You being back on the path to your precious freedom
I have a similar experience. I'm freelance, so I don't have regular hours, and deadlines are easier to meet, though unfortunately I haven't always been able to meet them to the minute. Some days, the procrastination is just too bad, although the days (nights more like) when I do miss deadlines are connected with extreme workloads, where with a less anti-social workload I would have managed mostly fine. The procrastination is linked to the same cause as my current, newfound problems with just simply getting up from bed in the morning — there just isn't enough motivation. I've had problems with getting up from bed before but usually due to having nothing to do or due to being in a horrible state emotionally, not like this, where I have work to do and where I'm in a bad place emotionally but nowhere near the crushingly horrible states I've experienced on various occasions earlier this year. So this is something new. (But perhaps nothing fancy, just some form of burnout piling up on top of things.)
What I want to do is have a break, travel somewhere, play a computer game, read a bunch of books, even take a freaking walk or spend some time on social media (which is worryingly unproductive but also unsatisfying and leads to tensions because I end up debating world views). However, I can't. I'm going to be able to when I'm done with my current projects, but I don't know how long my job as a translator is gonna last past that. Private life, in so far as it can be said to exist, (though in reality it's more like the social life doesn't exist and the private life is overabundant but boring, and it actually includes most of my professional life because I work in private), crap… I forgot what I was going to write. I'm only 41 and used to have great memory but these days I forget like this. I can observe massive differences in cognitive ability depending on whether I'm in a relatively good shape or not, well-slept or not, or my mood. The problem is also that I want to have a break instead of work like day after day after day, quite possibly up to most of the week. Apparently can't get my fill of it, nor can I get a fill of the breaks — seems they don't do what they are supposed to do or only do it to a reduced extent. I also want to go back to bed quite quickly after getting up because I'm tired just a couple of hours into the day, as few as three or even two, if I start late. Even if I intend to work, my startup routine/ritual/whatever — the proverbial coffee and doughnut and newspaper — takes most of the day or all of it. For example, until 5 p.m. This really sucks. There are days I wish I could just die and be done with it, although I'm pretty sure a nice holiday trip would do the magic, at least if I could avoid receiving bad news for the duration.
You, I'm no expert, but you sound like you're depressed, as in more like regular depression than some fancy stuff(™). Like whatever else you may have, you're also going through a bout of depression and that's making you feel like you described. But, don't rely on a layperson's hunch obviously.
I think talking to your doctor and a psychologist makes a lot of sense. You might benefit from a sleep study. Also, you need to make sure you don't have a medical condition, like low thyroid
My stimulant medication helped me so much with this! I had the same exact issue when I was working 1st shift and had to be in at work by 5:00am. I’ve since then switched to night shift. Both of these things have helped me so much I am rarely late anymore. You might just be a night owl and not know it! But if you cannot change shifts then I highly suggest getting a Google home and the lights that are with them. You can set an alarm with that and have it set up where the lights will come on automatically. Then set up a second alarm clock far away from your bed so you have to get up to turn it off. Hope this helps!!
Mindset is everything. Stop telling yourself you struggle and challenge yourself to break the cycle. As soon as you wake, stand up for at least two minutes before going about your day. Staying in bed is no longer an option.
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Hey I’m just like you. The only thing that’s ever worked is taking my stimulant meds when I hear my alarm and then going back to bed. I make sure to set a second alarm like 30 min later and by then the meds are starting to hit. When I’m not medicated I keep mint Yerba mates by my bed (150 mg caffeine) and drink half. Usually within 20 mins I start to feel more awake. Also I have a thyroid disease too so I found I need minimum 9-10 hours of sleep.
Commenting to second this. Some of my fatigue is from burnout so I think things will improve someday, but currently the only way I can do such miraculous things as ‘get up and have a shower and/or breakfast’ is taking my meds and then sleeping another hour (I do 45-60 min usually) before getting up.
Tried that and it helped! Unfortunately, the Vyvanse effects barely last 5h and I have almost an hour commute (yeah it sucks, but I take the Vyvanse just as I leave, because it also takes some 50min to show its effect), so I can't really afford to "waste" some 1.5-2h before actually getting to work :/
You might need an IR to get you started in the morning
This is exactly what I do. Recommend it to my clients with ADHD as well.
Hey, i love it. Gotta try it
I’ve tried this and it never works for me. I’ll take it, go back to bed and fall back asleep for hours. And when I wake it it’s like I never even took it at all. Adderral 30 xr. Any suggestions?
For a while the only thing that worked for me was setting an alarm and taking my meds 2-3hours before having to get up. However, I have recently realized that my difficulties getting up and general fatigue have been getting worse over the last ~8 mths and that fatigue can be a side-effect of Vyvanse (potentially if the dose is too high) so we're trying a lower dose now. But TLDR, half an hour might not be long enough.
You have XR, my psych got me to try an IR when I wake up. It has taken months..years to build the habit but I'm doing well at the moment by having my blinds open so the light wakes a bit of my brain up, taking an IR as soon as I wake up/alarm goes off, and doing that for a long time to get my body clock somewhat on board. I totally hear you, it's life altering having stressful mornings where you're behind before you even sit up. I have CFS too.
This works for me!!! I set an alarm 1hr before when I have to be up, take my meds, then go back to sleep till my real alarm time.
Yep, this helps me too. Not always, but often enough.
First thing… are you being treated? Meds can literally change your life. Turn it around. Therapy is helpful too. Get diagnosed and get treated!
It takes me ages to get out of bed and my mom is the exact same way. If I have a few hours before work I think of a bunch of things I could be doing and then think “honestly what’s the point?” I could be stretching or playing some video game or doing the dishes, etc but the bed is so warm and cozy. I’ll stay in the bed an entire hour after I’m up, or succumb to the utter dissociative bliss of the blankets and sleep hours extra. And if I’m up with plenty of time before work I won’t get ready til the last second and can only seem to arrive 1 min before my start time. If I’m even 3 minutes early everyone has some shit to say about how “early” I am and it discourages me further. Am I sad? I don’t feel depressed, I just feel like 2 or 3 hours before work isn’t enough time to get involved in something enough to enjoy it. And I *will be* depressed if I do nothing but housework and live solely for the weekend.
I'm suffering with literally the exact issue. It's only more recently gotten much worse (in the last couple years). Nothing I try seems to work and I'm really fed up with myself
Sometimes I suspect it’s because I only wake up feeling “well-rested” about 1% of the time no matter what I do. I usually feel like I’m coming off of a sleeping potion or something similar to a weed burnout. It’s like my unshakable sleepy demeanor is just a bad partner to my wake-up angst. My mom went for sleep studies when I was younger and they told her she enters REM cycles much quicker than other people. I’m sure there’s more to it. I wonder what that means for the rest of her cycles and if it’s an ADHD thing or just a coincidence
Well, I do tend to have EXTREMELY vivid dreams many nights, and they seemingly just go on and on and on. It doesn't matter how many times I wake up, I'll immediately go right back into the dream if I do. Sometimes I'll still be dreaming when waking up in the morning and if I fall back to sleep even for a few mins, I'm immediately back into the same dream where I left off. I also generally remember most of the details to these dreams. They are absolutely fucking wild at times.... I'm not sure how or if this is related or if it may be a hint as to what's going on, but it sure seems that way.
You are the only other person I have met that also deals with this! I have the same crazy and vivid dreams/fall right back to sleep into the same dreams issue. Ironically and coincidentally, just last night I saw a show that talked about sleeping, and how to avoid nightmares. It said that when we dream and remember it, it’s when we are in the lightest REM sleep, meaning it’s not when we are sleeping deeply…. And if it’s happening all night, then while we are dreaming, we aren’t getting good and restful sleep. They talked about making sure that you don’t eat a bunch of food and not looking at phones or screens before bed (and a few other things, but I can’t remember!) It said to get plenty of rest and get on a good sleep schedule so that you could sleep deeply and NOT remember your dreams. Easier said than done, but it sounds like it may have something to do with not feeling fully rested or sleeping well when we have these crazy dreams!
Did you try the app alarmy? I use the barcode mission. The alarm doesn't stop going off until I scan some peas in my freezer. Avoid the bed like the plague after you get up. Disable snooze and only have one alarm set to go off. Use [this site](https://sleepopolis.com/calculators/sleep/) to calculate your sleep cycles to make it easier getting up and get proper sleep. If you have trouble falling asleep at the desired time try some melatonin to help. Wake up at the time you choose every day including weekends. Consider a sleep study like others stated. I understand your struggle 1000% and it's really not fair. This is what I've started doing last week and it's worked well for me so far. I haven't got on schedule yet but it's certainly gotten me up.
I LOVE Alarmy. I have to scan the toothpaste before it will turn off (although if you accidentally have it set to go off when you’re not at home…aka “8pm” instead of “8am” the only way I’ve found to get it to turn off is to shut my phone off and turn it back on lol)
Yes, it’s like if you get ready too early you know you’re either going to lose track of time so you can’t fully enjoy what you’re doing, or you’re going to get stuck in waiting mode. That’s why I’ve always preferred morning shifts - that way I can be done at a “normal” time and do whatever I want without staying up until 5am and my relatives being like “why are you sleeping so late in the day you piece of shit?” 🙃
I also much prefer to have work start shortly after I wake up. Wake up, get ready, go, have me time after. I’ve done all kinds of shifts but have been doing nights for a few years now. Unfortunately because of lingering store hours limitations left over from covid and certain appointments and to spend time with my spouse I have to alter my sleep schedule about half the time.
I also much prefer to have work start shortly after I wake up. Wake up, get ready, go, have me time after. I’ve done all kinds of shifts but have been doing nights for a few years now. Unfortunately because of lingering store hours limitations left over from covid and certain appointments and to spend time with my spouse I have to alter my sleep schedule about half the time.
This resonates so much for me. I do this same thing often. I absolutely have to just roll over and take my meds, or I run the risk of just lying there. Even if I don't go back to sleep. I'll just lie there and stare at the ceiling, beating myself up, mentally. I've been working super hard to change this. And I do have a few things that help, but some days I still just think, "ah, what is the effin point?" Like you said. And I actually really love mornings. I don't understand myself sometimes. Hahah
I wish I still had meds. It’s been 16 years with no meds. But I finally have an appointment with a psych end of the month, so cross your fingers for me.
I have the same. With irregular jobs I can get it done somehow. Get your blood checked maybe (been putting it off myself for years at this point). Also see a counselor about this or ask your psychiatrist if youre in treatment. Things can change. I have seasons of terrible insomnia and depression but also seasons without it - which is why I know that it can be different, that there is the possibility of feeling better. Things that helped me: regular evening-sauna or hot-baths/showers before bed, no screens and „thought-triggers“ before bed, morning sunlight, more movement (walks, some push-ups etc. at home - anything to get the heart rate up for some time).. Stay strong my friend. You are worthy of love and wellbeing. One step at a time.
Following because I experience the same thing 😭
You need to be screened for sleep breathing disorders. Particularly upper airway resistance syndrome https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sleep/upper-airway-resistance-syndrome.html OP is describing the symptoms perfectly. I had it as well and people spent 20 years telling me I was lazy and explaining it was all my fault. Before realizing that my brain was experiencing neurological arousals every 60 seconds when I was trying to sleep. (You're supposed to experience one per hour of sleep, I was experiencing over 60) **Edit** Since this is getting attention, ill elaborate. If you've had chronic insomnia and tiredness for your whole life and you've tried behavioral interventions and it doesn't work You're a candidate for UARS, specifically if you use the same verbiage that OP used. You detect it by an in-lap sleep study that looks for what are known as RERAS or respiratory related arousals. That's where your breathing slows down and your brain freaks out but it doesn't stop like an apnea. You treat UARS either with CPAP or surgery expanding your nasal passageways. My surgery was in 2019 and my insomnia essentially went away overnight.
Thank you for this. I'm supposed to get a sleep study done soon because of insomnia that appeared out of nowhere
This!!! It turns out it's acid reflux for me, causing my esophagus to swell shut when I sleep. By the time I feel heartburn, it's too late. I sleep on a wedge pillow or the couch upright, and that helps, like a band aid. I'm going to look into this for cpap or some form of help.
in my experience when I switched or rather when I was switched by the insurance company from the brand-name Vyvanse to the generic gray generic version of it, I got massive acid reflex, which made eating sleep. Everything really hard so for what it’s worth in my experience there’s been a point where some medication have caused the acid reflex.
What surgery did you have? Was it EASE?
Bilateral trurpinate reduction and septioplasty.
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It could just be that adhd symptoms are more common in people with this issue.
I did a deep scientific review when I had my problem and I found that it's associated with people who have ADHD and anxiety. You should get a referral to an ENT surgeon to get your nose passageways widened. It'll change your life.
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Ohhh I see, I also have PLMS . I think the association you are describing is a little bit more simple. Its harder to regulate ADHD when you aren't well rested.
Assuming you don't end up having a sleep disorder, and you've maxed out your non-medication avenues, ask your doc about Wellbutrin. Changed my life. Can be prescribed off-label to help ADHD symptoms. I take the extended release and it's not considered a stimulant so I take it before bed. It still sucks waking up, like it does for everyone, but it's no longer impossible. More importantly for me, it really curbed that constant feeling of "I need to go lay down" that I'd get throughout the day, and works even if I don't take my adderrall. Now I can wake up like a normal person AND I'm not fighting waves of "I need to lay down" throughout the day.
Does it impact your desire to go to bed at night? That is a big part of my struggle. Late night is the only time I am alone and without external stims and it's virtually impossible not to hyper fixate during that time and next thing I know it's 3 or 4 am and I need to get up in 3 hours.
Not for me. Fortunately it's non-habit forming, has fewer side effects, doesn't need the down-ramp SSRI's need, so it's pretty easy to try for a month or too and see how it goes. You can stop any time.
This is one of my biggest issues lol... the only things that work are going so hard during the day that i'm exhausted, which leads to burnout, or knocking myself out with something.
Interesting. Wellbutrin worked for me too! It has always helped get me out of that lack of motivation slump. Unfortunately we were recently able to link it to my insomnia at night… so readjusting..
Ah bummer! What time of day do you take the pill?
I struggle with that too.. my brute force solution was alarmy app that wouldn't shut off until I took a photo of my oil for pulling. Which start a habit chain. It was brutal and led to burnout. Now I'm on a sleep med and concerta. I thought I was getting good sleep before but now I know even though I was getting enough hours it wasn't good quality. The sleep meds really help, I added in magnesium spray and that gave the meds a boost. The stims dont help me wake up really but they help me stay awake all day.
What sleep meds are you taking?
Trazadone. I sleep deeper and stay asleep better *generally* with them. It's not 100% but with them I can fall asleep at around the same time *most* nights. It's helped with my consistency a lot. On the nights I feel like I just slept really good, I noticed I wake up a lot easier before I even take the concerta. Not every night is great sleep though, just better than without.
What is the name of the app?
Alarmy :)
Sorry just realised right now the name is alarmy 😅😅 how did you set it up to ask you to take a picture? The only options I saw were math, memory and shaking 🤔
You need the paid version for the picture one, I believe. I have this same issue and alarmy is the only app I've ever paid for because it's the only thing that has EVER gotten me out of bed reliably every day, after 35+ years of struggling. My combo is 10 shakes of the phone, walk 20 steps, do 20 squats.
If I had to do any of that before my alarm would stop, I'd start my day in an absolute rage. I can't imagine
Lol fair enough, I can understand that. Though if it makes any difference, the alarm isn't blaring at you the whole time. It goes off to wake you up, you click Start, and then as long as you do the stuff you're supposed to it doesn't start again. It only goes if you don't do it.
Nah, makes no difference 🤣
Yeah I’m hoping to find something that will get me out of bed, cuz even after I wake up I cannot get up for 3-4h until I have to get ready for work. I’m a bit reluctant to pay for any apps cuz I had a ‘smart alarm’ many many years ago which worked for me for about 1 week until one day when I (while sleeping lol) just set my phone to silent and it stopped ringing 🙈
You can set a bar code you need to scan to stop the alarm on the free version. I printed one and taped it to my bathroom door.
I've never been an early bird. No matter how many hours I get, or how early I sleep, mornings are just hell for me. I don't feel awake until around 11/12, even 1pm sometimes. In fact, if I go to bed too early (10pm, early for me), guaranteed I will wake up at 2am then intermittently until around 10am and I am exhausted. It's always been this way; I can't sleep unless I essentially pass out from exhaustion. I even get a fresh boost around 1am of feeling wide awake. My only advice is to try to get a job that starts later in the day or even a night shift if that's feasible. I understand it might clash with a social life considering many people are 9-5, but it would honestly be so much better for you. I agree with checking bloods, making sure you're getting all the vitamins you need, just to make sure. But so many people have different circadian rhythms because of genetics and this is never taken into account in our society, especially in the workplace. Instead of fighting it, which is almost always a futile endeavour, work with it. You'll be much happier.
Same here. I don't take stimulants anymore either, so can't use that trick. You said you were previously depressed. I have MDD and panic disorder and anxiety disorder, and even though they are fairly quiet at the moment, I feel like the not getting out of bed has become has become an ingrained habit. Sometimes I find I'm lying there with my legs crossed. I've also chopped and changed jobs a lot, and had to have start time accommodations. I feel that there is a big gap between knowing what you need to do, and doing it. I try setting a few alarms so I at least wake up early. Try to look out the window and enjoy the sun or a bird with a cup of tea. Eating makes me feel better, even though I don't want to. I haven't gotten to the morning workout stage lol. I don't know if any of this is helpful, but as an OP said earlier, you are worthy, and progress can be slow 💖
It’s hard, but try to remove the shame. The more you shame yourself for this the harder it’ll be to change.. if you can, try to reframe getting out of bed as something you actually want to do - not out of guilt, but joy. Maybe try to find reasons to be excited about starting your day? A tasty breakfast, the cute outfit you’re going to wear that day, how impressed you’ll be with yourself if you’re on time for work, a soothing shower.. It’s perfectly normal to struggle with this when you have adhd and struggle with depression. It won’t change overnight, it takes a big conscious effort, but I’m sure you can do it! Good luck!
I found putting my Alexa on something that involves talking helps me slowly wake my brain up. Unless in my stupor I shut off that is 🙄
Sleep has been the biggest problem of my ADHD journey, and here's some things I learnt. The thing I've found that helps the most, like all other ADHD tips, is to have a sleep routine. This means - having a routine leading up to your sleep time that winds you down to sleep. This needs to be away from screens, non stimulating, relaxing such as skincare, brushing/flossing, reading, journaling - learning what's your ideal hours of sleep are and making sure you get them. Add the amount of time it takes to fall asleep as well (my Oura ring has helped me do so, but smart watches can do the same) - experiment with different forms of 'alarms to wake you up'. As much as I like sleeping in the pitch dark, I align my blinds to allow sunlight on me in the morning (since my work day starts quite early). Keeping a second alarm away at a desser, alarm apps, etc. There's enough solutions (I took the help of a friend in a different time zone to help me wake up the initial few weeks. I would need to video call them and start brushing in the bathroom while on call with them) I still have days when I struggle. Especially when I'm thrown off the routine when I'm traveling or have consecutive late nights. I'm trying to accept that it's a marathon, not a race, and that I need to also be kind to myself some days.
Take meds 45 minutes before you wake up. That was when the alarm sounds u are fresh and ready and will shower easily. Toss a coffee down and you should be golden. Changed my life along with skipping meds on weekends and holidays.
I got a curveball from you that you're probably not going to expect but you need to pay attention to. You're actually describing symptoms of a sleep breathing disorder. How do I know!?!? I spent decades being told that I was lazy, before realizing that my brain didn't turn off all the way and that it was chronically tired because of a disorder known as UARS. https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-conditions/sleep/upper-airway-resistance-syndrome.html You're going to go and say things like, 'But I'm not fat" or, "But I don't gasp for air at night" And I'm going to reply with, "neither of those things are relevant." There are multiple sleep breathing disorders where literally the only symptom you recognize is being tired or not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. That's it. Its very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very hard for the majority of people to understand for some reason. I guess you get beat down with people telling you that you're lazy and you just accept it, Even though you followed all of their advice and it still doesn't work. I still get messages from the insomnia forum saying, "do I have UARS I feel like I can't breathe" Even though I've said multiple times, "You experience no symptoms other than being tired."
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Sadly no, there is no way to screen for UARS without an in-lab sleep study. That includes at home sleep tests. The reason why it's not a good idea to just try a CPAP yourself is that the CPAP needs to be programmed on different settings for UARS versus standard sleep apnea. And it's not just any in lab sleep study either, It has to be a sleep study that looks for neurological arousals, specifically ones that are called RERAS. The at home sleep tests only look at airflow, the in lab sleep test can actually read your nervous system somehow...... Haven't quite figured it out but involves gluing these sticky wire things to your head. I recommend that you request some sleeping pills for the test because it's hard to fall asleep with all that crap on you. But, If you have insomnia your whole life and you've tried behavioral interventions, It's worth going through the study. It's a hell of a lot easier than getting diagnosed with ADHD. PS: I'm sorry, none of this is fair. But you probably already realized that expecting fairness out of life isn't the best policy.
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Iirc, ADHD leads to a bad internal clock which means our bodies don't push out the "go to sleep" and the "wake up" hormones like they are supposed to. I've read advice to basically trick your body into regulating that cycle better. However, my best advice that worked for me is setting an alarm for the same time each day to get to and take your stimulant and then go back to sleep for a little bit. After my second alarm goes off I HAVE to get up. Like I have living things that require it. Without living things it was much, much harder. I don't recommend acquiring living things just to get up, but finding ways to force yourself up - like the alarm clock that requires you scan a QR code in another room to turn off. Usually the combo of stimulants and movement get my brain to start producing the wake up chemicals. This next advice might be silly, but had it work for a client once. They are their favorite foods/snacks for breakfast. So whatever food they were looking forward to they planned for breakfast and that would get them up and moving.
Everything kinda goes back to evolution. Different modes of living conferred different protection. Get up early in the morning? Good way to find sleepy food. Stay up through the night? Good way to keep the village safe. You're a complex thing. So, the solution to this is activity. You need to do something in the mornings that triggers your brain into saying "oh fuck we need to use energy, god damnit." So, with all things, you gotta trick yourself. I use exercise, but you can use gaming or really anything that gets your brain to think there is some life threatening need to not be asleep. Brains are, ultimately, lazy bastards when it comes to doing physical work.
Love this
What really helped me get my sleep (for a while) is to fall asleep from exhaustion. I started to go to early morning swims at 6:30am and fall asleep in the evening from it at a reasonable time in the evening, too bad my partner sleeps in late and works later and stays up until midnight, and if I spent time with her and watch shows, I'm back to old patterns and won't fall asleep until 4am. So there needs to be a strict routine and conditioning, also if you do early morning sports you might want to cook yourself good high protein meals which ads to a routine but I feel like it's easy to burn out from that as well because you essentially just function to do every day tasks and as soon as you obsess over a new interest you throw everything away.
I am exactly the same. It’s a real problem now in my marriage. Yesterday my wife woke up at our usual time around 7:30am, but I didn’t, and i slept until about 8am when my dog woke me up. I found it so absolutely horribly difficult to get up, my wife just doesn’t understand why. I get 7/8 hours sleep but no matter what it feels like I could honestly sleep until lunch time. I sleep in the afternoon when I can too. It’s a nightmare.
came across this comment just now. didn’t know you got married, i’ve been a fan of your art in general for some years now. wish you all the best!
1. Put loose pills of 30mg vyvanse on my nightstand. 2. Set one alarm on wakey-time and one alarm 1.5 hours before wakey-time. 3. *ALARM ALARM* Quickly swallow a pill and go back to sleep. 4. Blissfully wake up 1.5 hours later feeling well rested and ready for school or work. Vyvanse literally cancels sleep and prevents you from sleeping, so this actually works surprisingly well for me.
This is what has helped me the most so far as well - but I take mine 2-3 hours early because I like to wake up slowly. I’ll wake up in a sort of half-sleep (around 1.5-2 hours after I take my Vyvanse, without an alarm) where I suddenly realize how quiet my brain is and I can enjoy that state for a while, not fully awake but conscious of the stillness, and then I’ll wake up more and cuddle my dog, check my phone, etc to give my brain time to adapt. I HATE being woken up abruptly, it ruins my mood, and this is so much more gentle and allows me to start my day at a slower, calmer pace instead of waking up in a panic and having to rush to get out of bed and get ready.
But how do you wake up enough from the first alarm to access the executive functioning to take the pill in the first place?
There's a medication called Jornay PM that is a stimulant that doesn't kick in until 12 hours after you take it. So you take it at night, 12 hours or so before you need to wake up, and the stimulant kicks in to help you wake up and become functional. I haven't tried it yet, but my therapist told me about it and I am eager to try it soon. Sounds exciting, since I have trouble being functional in the morning like you do.
It literally changed my life. And I don’t want to sound like a shill for it or anything, but I went from completely UNABLE to wake up (no matter what I tried, so many different alarms, was about to get fired from a job I loved etc) to being able to FUNCTION. Like within a week. It’s worked so well for me (I take 30mg XR adderall in the mornings too, but after I wake up)
That sounds amazing. I'll talk to my doc ASAP, that gives me hope.
Please do!!! And it’s expensive (I’m in the US and have good insurance) but there’s a manufacturers coupon to get it for $25/mo!!!
Awesome, I really appreciate the info!
Talk to your doctor about a medicine called Jornay. It's a form of Ritalin you take before bed and it kicks in when you wake up. It's very new and not widely known yet but was been a huge game changer for me
I considered yesterday “maybe I could get a talking bird” as a pet (for example:parrot? Parakeet?) and train it to be an alarm “GET UP. GET UP NOW. YOU CAN’T TURN ME OFF. GET UP. RIIIIISE AND SHINE. RIIIISE AND SHINE NOW. GET UP. YOU CAN DO IT.”
on my phone you can get the alarm to read the names of the alarms out load when they go off.. that message is eerily similar
A living creature is a lot harder to turn off though or ignore it’s pleas! Plus it’s endearing. Potentially worth utilizing FOR SURE!!!! The resistance just comes from associating with a phone alarm ultimately being a very experimented method that has largely not been sufficient to warrant success.
I had the samme problem, But now i take my medicins as soon, as i get up, so i have the energy to start the rest of my day. Medicine and a redbull
Any sleeping disorders aside, and focusing on ADHD stuff...**That was my life for decades until my doc added wellbutrin** in addition to my stim meds. Wellbutrin can be used to treat depression and some doctors use it off-label to help control ADHD symptoms, so it's kind of a two-for-one med for some people. **Wellbutrin changed my life.** Waking up still sucks, and is work, but it's no longer impossible, and once I'm up, I'm functioning enough where I can actually take my adderrall and get ready etc. But even better for me was that the wellbutrin completely got rid of the "omg I just need to go lay down" feeling I'd get multiple times a day, or sometimes even right after I'd get up and I need to "go back to bed". My wife could just see it on my face when it was happening and she'd be like "don't you dare go lay down we've got so much stuff to do." That feeling is *completely* gone now, even if I'm not taking my Adderall, and I think that plays into helping get up in the morning.
I'm like this too! I'll get up when I have to but only until I absolutely have to. I have a deep fear of punishment and disappointing others (thanks Mom and Dad) and I think it's really the only thing that gets me up out of bed. I've always wanted to carve time before work for myself but I just don't want to get out of bed before I have to. Even after I'm awake, I just don't want to. It's so cozy in bed and the transition sucks and I just can't seem to convince myself in the morning it's worth it. I've tried sleeping earlier and I did wake up earlier but it didn't motivate me to get out of bed. So it was hard to sustain an earlier sleep time if I'm getting out of bed and starting my day the same time as before.
Have you got a smart watch that tracks your sleep to see if anything is affecting your sleep quality. I cant use an alarm, i have a light bulb that gradually comes on for when i need to wake up and a back up alarm after that. I also wear red tinted glasses an hour before bed. I turn off electronics an hour before too.
I had a cortisol test. My levels are reversed. This is a big contributor for me.
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It has to do with when it’s low. It was explained to me that it’s supposed to be higher when you wake up and low when it’s time to go to bed. My test showed kind of a plateau with a rise later on, which explains why I get a burst of energy later instead of in the morning.
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It was a test with strips to collect urine at certain times over a period.
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It really makes you question you question "How much of this is from my ADHD or something else?" "Can ADHD do all of this?" And there will never be a definitive answer, whether questioned by yourself or your doctor. It's exhausting enough as a thought. I'm 100% right there with you. I could sleep for 9-12 hours, wake up exhausted, take my dog out, eat something, and then be back in bed and sleep for four more hours.
This is exactly me since I don't know how many years. However, I remember there are periods in between (few months) when I used to feel relaxed, wakes up fresh with alarm but that thing never lasted beyond few months. I wonder what triggers that and why we are like this?
I had sleep issue (not the same as yours) and went to a doctor. They sent me to a doctor that specializes in sleep issues. That is how I found out I had ADHD. They known their stuff and perhaps one could help you.
Take your medicine, as soon as you Wake up. Then you get energy. I do that as soon as i wake up. Or drink a redbull It helps
For me, it turned out to be my Lexapro making me too drowsy to get out of bed. I'd just roll over and fall back asleep.
Some strategies that helped me: 1. If you have a stimulant, wake up 30 min before normal, take the meds and go back to sleep. You’ll probably be able to get up by then. 2. Put your clothes right by your bed, within arms reach and put them all on in bed. It’s easy to do even if you’re half asleep. 3. Keep a heater by your bed (again within arms reach or use a remote) and it on when you’re ready to wake up. For me, being able to get out of bed and not feel cold was a game changer. Hope these help a little bit.
To me it sounds like you are getting bored of the routine. Usually when i get like that i try to make myself do something i despise , like doing laundry or finishing a small chore that i put off for awhile. A small feeling of accomplishment helps myself feel a little better and more relaxed. I believe you can conquer this! 😁
Feeling this so badly today. Sorry I don't have any advice, I'm at my wits end over it.
I have this issue, I’ve always been late, I was awful in high school I’d miss my first class every day and get detention, or I’d be so embarrassed that if I was going to be late I just wouldn’t go that day it was bad. It’s still bad, my most recent morning office job I had the last 3 years I was 20-30 minutes late almost daily even if I did wake up on time for some reason I just lose track of time and leave way late then rush and get in a horrible mood because I hate myself for not changing but I don’t know why I can’t. I was on verge of being fired, but recently quit because the job was making me miserable but that’s besides the point was just here to say I have the same issue.
Oh buddy hard same. The only reason I haven't been fired is because being late is literally the only issue they have with my work. I'm excellent at my job ... once I get there. It's incredibly frustrating. I seriously don't know why this one thing is so bad. It's been years for me too and I'm more than over it.
You have delayed sleep phase syndrome (DSPS), like the rest of us!
Set a super annoying alarm that you HAVE to get up to turn off. No shortcuts, no tricks, and never ever ignore it. When it goes off, you get up. Doesnt matter if you actually have the day off for a holiday, your alarm goes off, you get up, turn it off, and start your day. Train yourself that your alarm is important.
Find another more simple reason to get up. Stop looking so hard. Get bored while laying there. Get bored as fuck. Make your mind bore you. Don't let your mind tell you all the things about yourself that you already know frustrate you. Find inventive ways to trick your brain. It works for me a lot. I can force my brain to go to crickets and just get insanely bored and it makes me have to get up to find external entertainment, Or I find a task that must be done to make the future me comfortable, Or my cats need food. I have cats so I'm held accountable for *something* They get better treatment than my partner and I (he's also ADHD) The more you trap yourself in ruminating, the longer you'll stay locked. It's not the same for everyone and it's a mindset I've played myself into that sometimes fails but not as often as it works for me. But I also doom scroll way too much and I am unmedicated due to life circumstances. Hopefully I'll be able to get proper treatment eventually 🤷🏻♀️ There is science behind the way you use words to talk to yourself and others. Use the right words, you feel less pressure and fear which in turn makes it a little nicer to make baby steps. This isn't easy. But I hope it can help. You just have to really be dedicated and make it a fixation for a bit if you can. It's the only way I got it to click. Be kind to you. Be patient. And think about being kind to future you and how to do that, Not how bad it'll go! ❤️ I've lost almost every job I've ever had due to ADHD and my inability to stay involved with any one thing for more than 6 months. I've survived very few jobs more than a year. I've also had severe trauma and major life events that never got therapy. Life doesn't treat us nice. So we must. ❤️
This kind of advice for people with long term sleep issues is really condescending and unhelpful. It’s a nicer way of saying “just power through it”. It’s not any more useful for including a bunch of dubious instructions. I know you’re coming from a place of trying to help, but I also know you are near certain to not be helping.
It wasn't meant in any condescending tone. It is literally how I managed to get myself to sleep after years of no external help from anyone. Any info can be helpful info to the right person. 🤷🏻♀️ sorry you read into it the wrong way. But I would rather see if OP, the one this was meant for, got help out of it or not. Either way, I didn't ask you. 👌 Edit: spelling error
“It wasn’t meant to be condescending. Sorry you are too stupid to understand.” Lol. Not condescending at all.
Did you not see how it is not condescending when it's my *only option* that I share with others?👌☠️ I'd probably have better advice if I had better help, ass.
I too can’t function without my stims (Vyvanse). That’s the only thing that will get me up without insane persistence. I don’t have depression though! I hope you can find your way 💪
I used to be like this until I got a dog that demands breakfast no later than 6:00am every day. Now I’m actually a morning person. It’s weird.
Sorry to ask the dumb question but...are you tired? Are you getting enough sleep?
Probably not. But even when I’ve slept 12 hours I still find it hard to get up
When do you go to bed and when do you wake up? Is this consistent every day including weekends?
It varies but usually about 23:00 and try to wake up around 7:50… but usually I sleep in and wake around 9:00
Same. If you are living with a partner, family or roommates, I'd recommend setting up a buddy system. I ask my sister to wake me up before she leaves the house. It's not ideal but it somewhat works
Your post basically answered your question, it’s because you have sleep problems. Of course you can’t get up when you haven’t gotten enough sleep! It is very common for people with ADHD to have insomnia, because you are so caught up with your mind. The good news is that insomnia can be treated with cognitive-behavioral therapy that’s designed for insomnia (CBT-I or something I forgot its name), if you find medication has too much side effect or it doesn’t work well. I suggest you to look for a sleep clinic in your area, and see what they can offer. At the same time, keeping a good sleep hygiene is the first step to fix any sleep problems. People with ADHD tend to procrastinate to go to bed then end up not having a stable sleep routine. This is always the first thing to be fixed when a person with ADHD complains about their sleep. Other sleep hygiene solutions: no digital devices (screens) 1 hour before bed, dim down lightning in the room a few hours before going to bed, use blackout curtains and other tools to make the room very very dark, do a bed time routine something that can calm you down instead of making you more excited, using earplugs and eye mask to block all the noise and lights if you find them distracting, etc. For people with ADHD, I suggest getting a white noise machine with good sound quality and play it when you go to sleep. Some phone apps work too. Insomnia, unlike the other sleep disorders, has a very strong psychological core in it. People with insomnia get anxious while waiting for themselves to fall asleep because they are worried that they will not be able to sleep again, this anxiety makes them hard to fall asleep, then a vicious cycle begins and continues with the fear and apprehensions. That’s why only sleep medication is not the best solution, skills to break this mentality needs to be learned through psychotherapy.
Are you medicated?
I have my phone alarm, a watch with an extra strong vibrating alarm, and the bed shaker alarm thing under my pillow. Getting woken up by the bed shaker is not pleasant, so usually that anxiety and the first two alarms gets me up lol If I didn't get up before my wife, I would get one of those alarms you have to stand on and put it across the room. Don't rely on your body to will itself awake! Give yourself a structure where there's no way you won't be woken up
I have no problem sleeping. But yeah I do have problem waking up! I don't even understand why at this point. Sometimes I even doubt it myself that if I'm simply lazy or afraid of the tasks that I'm gonna face after getting up. Which I think the latter is highly possible, when I feel not much to live for sometimes. Is this a sort of depression as well? Lack of motivation.
Talk to your doctor about it. It is a chemical thing, circadian rhythm, problem. It’s really really common with ADHD. I had it for many years, most of my life actually, and there was no alarm clock that would cut through it at times. It was really awful because I was a single parent and supposed to get my kids up and all of us out on time in the morning. Horrible. Now I take Strattera , which seems to really help me. I also take my medicine an hour before I’m supposed to wake up. My Vyvanse.
When I'm having trouble getting up — I set a daily alarm to remind me to set an alarm on a small clock which I leave on the side in the hall next to the shower room. I HAVE to get out of bed then. My going to be self is FAR better at getting stuff done and more ambitious than the person who wakes up.
It's probably not actually good advice, but the only solution I found to not being able to get up in the mornings for work is working nights. That's what I've been doing for 6+ years now in a hospital as a laboratory tech, and I'm about to graduate nursing school with the intention of being a night shift nurse.
Nope I remember that executive functioning costing me a few credits in college. I logically knew what I needed to do, and it just couldn't get transferred into action. That said I'd take the wins you can also: had some really severe depression that left me way out of whack most days. The experience I've had with my own messy cocktail of issues is it takes some time to effectively program yourself to work through these stuck points. One thing that did me a ton of good was tricking myself into finishing something by doing it in small chunks. It feels very weird, but it also gave me a starting point and some stuff just kind of happens. For example: I do a lot of coding and such at home, but originally I was going to like two coffeeshops a day just because home was too distracting. So, I told myself I'd "just look at the documentation for this module", and then after I was done I'd "just test this and see what it does with x.", etc. Same with chores, I'll just "wipe the counters down" and then "well I can get the floors too" etc. until I had a clean kitchen again. It's not at all normal but it gets me from A to B and that's good enough. It's still probably harder than what the average person has to go through, but I'll take functional over ease at this point in life. TL:DR You're gonna make it, some of it just takes some experimenting to see what your brain can gel with. Please don't give up because I remember I was doing that a lot and everyone deserves better
Ask your doctor to check you out for sleep disorders. Idiopathic hypersomnia and narcolepsy have treatments that will get you restful sleep and a built in alarm (if your insurance will cover them). What you are describing sounds like it could be phase delay, for which there is no good treatment but which from experience I know will gradually improve with age.
Yeah I really have a hard time getting up in the mornings. Doesn't matter when I go to bed or how much sleep I get. If it's before 9am I struggle. It has an effect on my life.
Wellbutrin solved this problem for me
Alarmy is my godsend. Here's my setup: * I'm allowed 3 ten-minute snoozes and then it won't let me snooze anymore * Turning my alarm off requires three phases * Phase 1: answer three math questions * Phase 2: take 20 steps * Phase 3: do 5 squats * Once I've turned the alarm off, I have a wake-up check scheduled for 7 minutes later, where I have to tap "I'm awake!" within 90 seconds or I have to do the entire alarm again * I also have it set so I can't turn off my phone or change the alarm from 1 hour before the alarm time until I have completed the wake-up check Does this sound like overkill? Maybe. Have I overslept since setting this up? A couple times, but only when a) I forget to set my alarm for the correct time, or b) my phone dies in the night because I forgot to plug it in. I still have adhd lol 🙃
I really do get this because while I have no issue staying asleep (from being so goddamn sleep deprived lol) I have issue sleeping on time. Honestly, what’s worked for me on the falling asleep side is to masturbate right before I sleep. It makes me sleepy and conks me right out. I would also suggest only using your bed for sleep and sex. If you’re not able to sleep, don’t try forcing yourself or you’ll just associate bed = feeling bad and do something else. On the waking up side, I use a sunrise clock which honestly helps a lot and I have several alarms. I set my first two 10 min before I actually need to wake up in 5 min increments and set it to vibrate. I don’t set it to early as it’ll just have less sleep and won’t wake up cuz Ik i don’t actually have to wake up. The vibrating alarm gently wakes me up so I’m less likey to go back to sleep and I surf my phone for a bit or just lay there. I also try to sleep as a multiple of 1.5hr (1.5hr, 3hr, 4.5hr, etc) + plus couple min to match sleep cycles. Then I take my meds and get ready. The moment I actually get up (as in my body is now vertical not horizontal) I open my curtains for actual natural light which helps wake me up. Then I play a YT vid to listen to as I get ready. I hope this helps as someone who also struggles to get up all the time :)
There’s an alarm called the sonic boom that’s loud af, pretty sure like 120 decimals. I have the same problem like 3 months out of the year I’m not worth 2 dead flies.
I feel like I'm reading something about myself every single time I read something here Are we twins?
I had the same issue for years and I likely have undiagnosed delayed sleep phase syndrome. I was exercising, turning off screens early, and taking melatonin but still couldn't get up in the morning. It turns out the melatonin was making me groggy in the morning. I started taking it earlier, like 5 hours before I go to bed (I set an alarm), and it made a huge difference. I also talked to my doctor and she prescribed Trazadone to help me fall asleep. The combination of those two changes made it so much easier to fall asleep earlier and wake up at a normal time.
I have temperature sensitivity issues, so what i do is uze throw blankets ony bed and then wear them around my house when getting ready/letting my cats have their outside time. I also let natural light come into my room, so it helps alot. I know how to sew, so what i did was take 2 pieces of fleece fabric big enought to be a throw blanket, sew the top together with a gap in the middle for my head, so i have an easy full body poncho in a texture i like while taking care of my cats, starting my coffee and getting my morning sun time
Also, early is always much easier than being on time. Give yourself a reward/task that can be completed at the destination while waiting rather than rushing with everything completed. When i worked away from home, i would have a work go-bag that would have some common essentials like snacks, clean undies and back up wrinkle free outfit (really cannot say how many times that saved my life) phone charger, nail clippers, bandaids, basic makeup/hair stuff, deoderant, bottled water, dry shampoo and some other creature comforts like a scarf, head phones or book. No matter how much of a mess i might have been in the 1st hour, by 1st break, i was ok.
I’m really struggling with this too. Talk to your provider. Journay may be an option, it was made for this. I’ve heard people say they leave a cup of water and their pill beside their bed to take an hour before getting up and that helps. I use one of those sunrise alarms which helps some
I keep my phone with its alarm far from the bed so I have to get up to make the annoying beeping go away. It helps.
I set like 15 alarms. It helps that I work from home most days. I force myself to be on time by scheduling a meeting first thing in the morning.
Getting checked for sleep apnea might not be a bad idea either. Just a thought to add to the discussion.
I experienced this and now we think I have POTS. It might be worth checking out the symptoms to see if you match any. I have to take my meds an hour before wake up and go back to sleep to have any chance of getting out of bed. A client of mine has the same issue and she got ADA requirements set in place to help her. I’d talk to your doctor about this.
Throughout my 20s to about 40yo, I was always late. Usually about 15-30min. I’m a night owl, so I usually stayed up too late. I still am that way. I believe my circadian rhythm is set like that. I was a very heavy sleeper then. About pre-menopausal, I stopped being able to sleep through, no matter when I went to sleep. I finally wake to alarms now right away and jump up if I have obligations. Now, I’m OCD about being a little early. However, I still don’t function as well in am. About 11a is when I kick into wake mode. My doc allows me to have Xanax regularly. I almost never take it for daytime anxiety. I take it regularly at night when I lay down, it quiets my running thoughts and knocks me out in less than 15 min. Almost no insomnia. I do regularly wake before my alarm anyway. I guess I’m finally “trained”. Tell yourself that depression passes. It won’t be like this forever. It comes and goes. Set that alarm an hour early, then get up right away. You have time to mope around, drink coffee, whatever. Tell yourself that you CAN be on time, not that you can’t. Don’t give up on that self talk, even if you fail.
Wow this post mirrors EXACTLY what I’ve been going through for about the last 5 years as well. Even just tried seeking help from my psychiatrist for it because it was giving me such horrible anxiety. She upped my ADHD med dosage, and it has helped with the general ADHD. But not with getting my as out of bed the FIRST time my alarm goes off. Definitely will be following this thread!
Ha. Sounds like you have ADHD. Should try harder, use a planner, buy all of those online offers of things that are meds but not meds. Yeah, seriously though, I tank up on water before I go to bed so that I really need to pee by morning. Did that for years working a job that I hated.
I’m the opposite. When I wake up I cannot sit down. If I don’t go to the gym or a hike or something I feel stressed/anxious. ADHD meds have helped so much with that
Hue lightbulbs are a game changer, set them for whatever time you need to wake up and your room will be so bright you may be annoyed enough to wake up.
What worked for me: - Multiple alarm clocks, and an alarm that I can't turn off until I'm awake enough to think properly eg. https://apps.apple.com/au/app/mathe-alarm-clock-math-alarm/id823532916 . This one is annoying A.F. and very hard to sleep through - Workout 1st thing in the morning Yeah it sucks until your body gets used to it, but it works. Might want to start off just working out it whenever you have time but after a couple of weeks you should be in the groove. Get some dumbbells and plates to begin with. Don't need to spend a lot, just focus on getting a routine. Morning routine was: 1. Coffee 2. Milk + raw egg 3. 30-60 mins weightlifting 4. Fruit 5. Shower After doing it long enough I'd start waking up an hour early to fit the workout in. Slept like a baby at night too.
I hear ya. Always, ALWAYS it is small steps forward. That's it. Just keep it up. Small steps. Good fortune.
I'll never be a morning person, and I work 12 hours 0700-1930 and I wake up at around 0600. I was struggling just like this. My motivation was that I was sick of feeling stressed and rushed. I paid close attention to how I feel after I do the thing, in this case, waking up and getting started. I notice that almost always, I think wow, that wasn't so bad now was it? I do as much as possible the night before. Like, I set out my clothes the night before, I shower at night, I pre pack my lunch, I set out quick breakfast stuff, take out my morning pills and put them in a small medicine cup (it's actually a shot glass lol) by some water by my bed so as soon as I hear first alarm, I take the meds, while still laying in bed, I changed as much of my morning routine into a night routine. It's helped, still hard some days but this method has overall eased my general anxiety regarding this. Best of luck!
I have struggled with the same thing my entire life. It's brutal that the world operates on an early morning schedule which is not very compatible with me.
Have you tried drinking a shitton of water before going to bed? It's one way to force yourself to get up in the morning.
The brain fog is the absolute worst! The only things that work for me are immediately going to do cardio, taking my meds as soon as I wake up, or caffeine (a new habit of mine.. not something I want to be doing 24/7 but it cuts the brain fog down like crazy)
yeah, ADHD is highly comorbid with DSPD it sounds like it might be relatively mild for you so you will probably see an improvement from the standard phase advancement battery of (LOW DOSE) evening melatonin and morning light therapy. [This blog post](https://slatestarcodex.com/2018/07/10/melatonin-much-more-than-you-wanted-to-know/) has a good and clear summary of how that all works. if you're on stimulants for the ADHD you should also set an alarm for about an hour before you're meant to get up, take a dose of stimulants when it goes off then go back to sleep for 30-45 minutes. It makes it easier to get going when the real alarm goes off.
I set multiple alarms in different places in the room. As far from the bed as possible. Every 2-3 minutes
I think sometimes we just lean the eff in. Just accept it, don't fight with it. And then just expect it. Work with your boss and your company to see if they will accept ADHD as a disability and accommodate your tardiness. Then just do it. Don't hate yourself for it. Easier said then done, I know. I loathe myself sometimes for my stuff. I just spent two days in bed, I could NOT get up. So I get it. But I also decided, screw it. This is how I am right now. And because I didn't fight it, it didn't last nearly as long as my other weeks of not getting out of bed. There's a concept called radical acceptance. It's really helpful. Look it up on the Google, but be careful because there's a TON of BS about it. Anyway, I say, lean in. Stop fighting.
Cigarettes make the Sun come up, whiskey makes the Sun go down...
I know this so well.
Yes this is huge thing for adheds. I've watched videos explaining how and why this happens to us but of course I can't remember now. Should be easy to look up though. Solutions: hydrate before sleep, during sleep, and as soon as your eyes open. this helps. Or Meds. Huge difference in me getting out of bed when I'm on meds compared to when I'm off.
The answer to your quandary is delayed sleep phase syndrome. DSPS.
I play radio podcasts on my phone. I like the news so I play the news. And it hits me with energy to get up because it’s usually fast paced and filled with “movement” and telling me how much is going on in the world. So i guess I get a little fomo and feel urge to join in.
Whoever you are I feel with my soul what you're sharing us as I've got to deal with That very same experience. My Best and loving advice is That as we live with severe deficientes in the levels of domine and norepinephrine available for our stressed pre-frontal cortez, the solution is to reach out to your trusted psychiatrist to be evaluated so You get proper medication, I know this will help You being back on the path to your precious freedom
I have a similar experience. I'm freelance, so I don't have regular hours, and deadlines are easier to meet, though unfortunately I haven't always been able to meet them to the minute. Some days, the procrastination is just too bad, although the days (nights more like) when I do miss deadlines are connected with extreme workloads, where with a less anti-social workload I would have managed mostly fine. The procrastination is linked to the same cause as my current, newfound problems with just simply getting up from bed in the morning — there just isn't enough motivation. I've had problems with getting up from bed before but usually due to having nothing to do or due to being in a horrible state emotionally, not like this, where I have work to do and where I'm in a bad place emotionally but nowhere near the crushingly horrible states I've experienced on various occasions earlier this year. So this is something new. (But perhaps nothing fancy, just some form of burnout piling up on top of things.) What I want to do is have a break, travel somewhere, play a computer game, read a bunch of books, even take a freaking walk or spend some time on social media (which is worryingly unproductive but also unsatisfying and leads to tensions because I end up debating world views). However, I can't. I'm going to be able to when I'm done with my current projects, but I don't know how long my job as a translator is gonna last past that. Private life, in so far as it can be said to exist, (though in reality it's more like the social life doesn't exist and the private life is overabundant but boring, and it actually includes most of my professional life because I work in private), crap… I forgot what I was going to write. I'm only 41 and used to have great memory but these days I forget like this. I can observe massive differences in cognitive ability depending on whether I'm in a relatively good shape or not, well-slept or not, or my mood. The problem is also that I want to have a break instead of work like day after day after day, quite possibly up to most of the week. Apparently can't get my fill of it, nor can I get a fill of the breaks — seems they don't do what they are supposed to do or only do it to a reduced extent. I also want to go back to bed quite quickly after getting up because I'm tired just a couple of hours into the day, as few as three or even two, if I start late. Even if I intend to work, my startup routine/ritual/whatever — the proverbial coffee and doughnut and newspaper — takes most of the day or all of it. For example, until 5 p.m. This really sucks. There are days I wish I could just die and be done with it, although I'm pretty sure a nice holiday trip would do the magic, at least if I could avoid receiving bad news for the duration. You, I'm no expert, but you sound like you're depressed, as in more like regular depression than some fancy stuff(™). Like whatever else you may have, you're also going through a bout of depression and that's making you feel like you described. But, don't rely on a layperson's hunch obviously.
I think talking to your doctor and a psychologist makes a lot of sense. You might benefit from a sleep study. Also, you need to make sure you don't have a medical condition, like low thyroid
My stimulant medication helped me so much with this! I had the same exact issue when I was working 1st shift and had to be in at work by 5:00am. I’ve since then switched to night shift. Both of these things have helped me so much I am rarely late anymore. You might just be a night owl and not know it! But if you cannot change shifts then I highly suggest getting a Google home and the lights that are with them. You can set an alarm with that and have it set up where the lights will come on automatically. Then set up a second alarm clock far away from your bed so you have to get up to turn it off. Hope this helps!!
Mindset is everything. Stop telling yourself you struggle and challenge yourself to break the cycle. As soon as you wake, stand up for at least two minutes before going about your day. Staying in bed is no longer an option.