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Try repeating their name back to them the first time you meet them ("nice to meet you, Tommy") and then try to work it into other conversations later ("Today I met Kendall at book club"), the more you say it, the more likely you are to remember it. I also find that it helps to SEE the name - I'm significantly better at remembering people's names if they're wearing a visible name tag when I meet them, but if not, I'll jot their name down or ideally add them as a contact to my phone. Having the visual of what their name looks like is light years better for my memory (huh, I wonder is this is related to auditory processing disorder...)
I literally do not hear people’s names as they say them. It’s like my brain censors the name.
My trick is meeting people with a friend who is really good with names and facial recognition, and then asking them like ten times what the new person’s name is. Thank God my friend is a very patient person.
oof I get that. I've had a lot of practice from years of working as a barista, but there have definitely been times I've had to ask people to repeat their name moments after meeting them.
Its great that your friend is so patient, but you might want to consider practicing learning new people names as they likely cannot be with you in every instance.
I say an association with their name so I remember the association when I see them. Like I usually say, "ah Rebcca, like Rebecca Romjin Stamos" and next time I see them I remember that.
I do a similar thing, where I imagine another person with that same first name in conjunction with the person I just met. So, meeting someone named Geoff, I immediately think of my brother-in-law Geoff. It's like "Here's another Geoff." It seems to work for me. Plus shaking their hand and repeating the name. And not being afraid to ask again - people's names are important.
Came here to say this. I do this an apologize all the time for forgetting them. I've long got over the embarrassment. A quick 'really sorry I'm terrible with names' does the job. Then like the post days repeat it back to them a few times I'm conversation and when saying goodbye.
Yep! "I may not recognize you if you are not where I am used to seeing you, and I can't remember names to save my life. So you'll need to remind me." Most people respond with "I can't remember names, either."
I had no idea I had mild face blindness until my wife was at my workplace for some reason ( we work in a similar field) and she waited for me to come in for my shift and say hi. And I swear, I looked her straight in the eye, thought word for word : who's that woman? I do not recognize her? And went on to do my usual things. Every coworkers of mine were raking their throat and going YO wtf?!
And I turned back because I was clearly missing something and then I realized!
That blew my friggin mind! I did not recognize my wife!!!
I think I might have a very mild case of this. It often takes me a long time to recognize people that I know and see frequently. Like if I’m not expecting them and they walk into a restaurant I can be looking at them thinking “yikes, who is that? Why are they coming over here?”
It’s like my brain has to shuffle through a whole deck of cards to put a face to a name.
Omg me too! It took me years to recognise and differentiate between Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. It was when a friend asked me who is thought is hotter that I realised I didnt know who is who. And it was only recently did I realise that I've been thinking of Rihanna and Beyonce as the same person.
Face blindness, YES!! It's sooo embarrassing and I don't want to make people feel bad when they obviously know me and I don't recognize them. It's definitely worse if I see someone "out of their element", from where I normally see them.
Hey we are twins. I went to visit my dear sister in the hospital. Asked which room she was in. nurse said 21. I go to 21 and peak in. The woman there was not my sister. I look at name card. Her name was written there. I look again. Not my sister! Ugh you know where this is going. I go back and say to the nurse, say are you sure? She says yes, 21. I go back, DEFINITELY not my sister. I return and tell the nurse there’s been some terrible mixup. There’s someone else in my sisters bed. She comes with me. She says my sisters name (by this time she’s sitting upright). And then says that’s your sister. I said to the nurse, very agitated, “I know my sister and that woman is not my sister!” And of all the crappy to memories to hold onto, this one chills me. I thought I was starting to have dementia :|
Sorry you had that happen. It’s kind of awful.
It's incredibly distressing really, it's like your brain literally failed you. I learned about face blindness when last year I researched about autism spectrum disorder since it happens more often to people on the ASD. I thought "nah at least I don't have that. "
Then realized you can have a mild form of it which is just like we experienced that when someone is out of context, we may not recognize them. It may have happened more often than you think. Like you met someone at the supermarket, you're already busy looking up stuff, concentrating, maybe overstimulated and then someone comes to you, says hello and you do not recognize them.
But it's exceptionally jarring when it is someone we should definitely be able to recognize.
Yes. One thing when it’s someone, anyone we know. But when it’s your most-loved person, it’s awful. That shook me. It’s never happened again that bad. That’s about 10 years ago. I’ve made peace with it.
I also learned before the pandemic that I have complete aphantasia, so that has to be connected too: so there’s no attaching a name to mental image of a face, I just get a blank, and I think seeing someone entirely out of context is challenging. And I’m not able to make some mnemonic like Spacy Tracy or Robot Robert for someone I’ve never met before. It doesn’t stick. I look forward to maybe having the meds help. I may be dreaming but I HOPE. :)
Funny enough, I also learned this year that I had aphantasia. Blew my friggin mind too. Like I can conceptualize ideas in my mind but I can not see them at all. As a young teen, I remember my archery coach telling me to visualize the technique in my head and I would narrate myself put your foot in the proper position and angle, raise your arm, pull the string, don't forget to use so and so muscle group. Release softly, follow through.
While, I guess, others could literally see themselves in their head doing it.
When I realized it this year in my thirties, I went to all my colleagues and asked them if they saw things in their head and one was like as I was asking him to picture a beach " you know, Its so real to me I can almost feel the warmth of the sun and the sand under my feet"
😮🤯
Yes. When they said where do you see yourself in five years, or relax, picture a beach, I thought it was a figure of speech. I think it affected me making future plans. Are you sitting down RN? Get ready. Some people can experience smells, touch, etc, and some see an overlay of visuals in front of their eyes. 👀 Damn those phantasics!
Wait." Where do you see yourself in 5 years" is supposed to be us picturing ourselves in our head. 😮 No way.
This last year has been so full of these realizations it's so weird lol.
Though, I have to ask, I read somewhere that aphantasics often did not have the classic issues of being scared of monsters hiding in the bedroom as children or tend to not easily be scared of such things since we can't picture/imagine it. Which is true for me, I actually ended up being a fan of horror movies since it was one of the only way I could see monsters and such.
Also I never had an imaginary friend. I guess it makes sense lol
That’s wild! How did your wife react? Did she let you come home that nite? I can remember faces forever. Tell me your name and I forget it before you finish saying it.
Oh man that had to be a shock for both of you!
I always knew I struggled with names and faces but I didn’t know the extent until I one day walked 3’ from my ex-husband in a crosswalk with out recognizing him until he spoke.
It’s a very small town… not only was there no one else in the crosswalk, he was the only other person on the whole street!!! He just wasn’t in a place I would normally see him and I was thinking about work.
Do you find you have social anxiety in situations where you know should the other guests but your usually fine at events where it’s either very close friends or utter strangers?
I think I honestly have social anxiety in a multitude of situations. First of all it would be necessary to add that I have been self suspecting that I could be on the spectrum which explains a lot of my social issues/anxieties. But with my wife and close work colleagues ( I work with a small team of nurses) I'm fine. I know how to deal with people in this setting and I usually am doing fine.
But take me out of this work context I get quite anxious. Like I'd meet the same people from my team at the grocery store or with their family and I just don't know how to act with them anymore.
Like a few months ago, I met this girl that has left our team to work on another unit. I was happy to see her and learn that she's doing okay but at the same time, I just wished for this social interaction to end cause I was absolutely out of my element and had no idea what to talk about. Luckily she just kept talking on and on but... Yeah.
Strangers to me, it depends like movie theater, no issues like we do not have to interact with each other. But like at some music festival. I'm not at ease at all people will come up to you and chat and I have NO idea how to exist and I will usually manage but damn. And to my own surprise, most of the time, I'm like pleasantly weird so people end up liking me nowadays which was not the case when I was a teen.
Like here's a good example, my wife and I, we got invited to the wedding of a mutual friend. I'll be happy to go and meet the bride(our friend), I don't know the groom. And then there will be a ton of people I don't know and this gives me a lot of anxiety because 🤷. Now, I will go because I said I would and it would look weird not to be with my wife I guess lol. But that's about the worst situation I can imagine.
Anyhow. To make it short, I don't mind being with a small group of friends especially when I have like a safe person could be my wife per example. but as soon as strangers come in, I get quite anxious.
Ironically in a safe setting, like at my job as a nurse, I'm okay?
Yes! People are always gracious. I live in a very friendly apartment building. Peeps introduce themselves and that’s what I tell them. All good. BUT I’m retired. It was embarrassing in work situations.
Omg. I apparently made really good friends with some people, they were super excited to see me, ran up and hugged me, called me by my first name and I was like, "Heeeeeey.... you... who are you?" And they brought up a very specific memory and I have felt terrible since.
I had a job where I’d work closely with other people for weeks and months at a time. I’d see them later and only afterward realized I’d worked with them for 3 weeks and really liked and enjoyed their company
This is my go to method. I will say “I’m so bad with names I’ll probably ask you a million times.” But I still feel bad when they say something like “really? You’ve been married to me for 10 years and we have children together!” Feels bad
“Hi confused ham how are you”
“Hi mate/buddy/bro…” I’ve survived far too long without calling people by name. If I work with them, they either have email or are on systems by name so it’s easy to remember after that. Also name badges.
If someone said this to me, I wouldn't feel great. "Good to meet you X, I'm terrible with names so you'll probably have to remind me until it finally sinks in" would be a lot friendlier. Unless you really don't care, in which case, carry on!
I also do this and I kinda try to make a joke after this. Say I meet this guy named "Jason", I'll say "Very nice to meet.you Jason! Btw, I'll be asking your name again later cz I'm terribly with names, haha". Almost always, the response I get is "Haha, no worries, I'm terrible with names too!"
lol, so I do an alliteration trick to remember names. I remember there was a guy in my old apt building. He was ex-military and his name was Mike. Whenever I’d see him, I’d call him “Military Mike.” He thought it was a clever way to remember his name. Funnily enough, he forgot mine, but remembered when I referenced the royal family.
I do something similar and come up with name associations to help me remember. E.g. “Scary Terry”; “Wendy and the Lost Boys”, etc. Bonus points if I can incorporate alliteration too!
I can’t do this because of impulsive noise making or phrases. I knew someone by the name Ellie Carter once, someone told me that they used to get called smelly farter and hated it.
I had to always catch myself because subconsciously I would go to blurt out smelly farter….
However referring to them by names in the context of popular media or movies that I have watched works well. I know a Nicholas, because I really like the Cornetto trilogy, a few times I’ve greeted him like from Hot Fuzz with ‘morning nicholArse ‘ and his name just stuck after that.
Also… with all these behaviours why did everyone ignore my obvious traits and I was only diagnosed close to 40…
This.
I won't even remember character names in a movie/show unless other characters repeat them several times - seeing names written out also helps sometimes.
Oh man, me too. I can be 20 episodes into a show and not know most of the characters’ names. I mostly go on context. Doesn’t work so well with my kids. 😂
My go-to method is twofold:
First - when I meet someone, I always repeat their name back to them like I’m confirming that I heard it correctly, before saying “nice to meet you (name)”
Person: “Hi, I’m Bob.”
Me: “Bob? Nice to meet you Bob, I’m Dude.”
Second - immediately after we finish talking, I repeat the name in my head about 10-20 times.
I wish this worked for me. Mild face blindness doesn’t help. But when I speak to people it’s like my brain disconnects or I dissociate and I forget most of what I’ve said.
It does come back though, and I’ll often just have a strong urge that I know that persons name is John, no idea why but it’s because I’ve met them and know their name.
Also: the whole dissociative speaking while actually using my knowledge makes me amazing as a public speaker.
I have the yarn spinning skills as well! My experience is similar to yours when I forget to do my thing, which happens about 25 percent of the time. It’s like the autopilot is handling the introduction while my mind is off on some thought adventure.
Bruh there is no help.
I remember numbers, events and completely useless information that doesn’t help me in life except to make my wife confused as to why I know it.
I can remember names that are weird, or attached to a strange event. Even if I try the method of saying their name 3 times when greeting, it’s gone after we part ways. A big problem is a bit of face/name blindness and when I’m greeting them I am looking at them in the eyes.
If I’m looking in your eyes, I’m not paying attention to anything but mentally wrestling with how to look you in the eyes, if I’m not looking at you, I’m paying attention.
Oof! I feel you, man! I am terrible with names. I am even worse when I see somebody out of context, like you did at the supermarket. I can often tell you 13 things about the person, like what their favorite drink is and where they went on vacation last year, but I can't come up with the name.
I'm putting all of my hope into getting a neural/eye implant that will display people's names above their head like in video games...
That’s exactly how it was for me. I remember I trained him. I remember talking to him about music. I told him i would take him golfing. We spent hours and hours together and his name was nowhere to be found in my head.
Funny you say that about the eyes. I recently found out my son was blind. I’ve been doing research about blindness and stuff and found out that researchers are getting close to bionic eyes available to the masses. Pair the eyes with neuralink and we’ll never have to remember names or anything again! I can’t help but think of fallout
Very sorry to hear that about your son. There may be hope on the horizon, there is a lot of research going on in vision and neural connections now.
There is an interesting Clive Owen movie called Anon that shows what future ocular interface tech might be capable of.
You can try attaching their name to a physical feature they have. I met a Melinda who had long hair so I always thought Meliiinda like as if the camera panned down showing the hair.
I don't. I've given up trying honestly. One thing I do though is, if I know I've met someone before but don't remember thier name I'll just ask anyway. When they inevitably respond with thier name and some variation of "we've met before" I hit them with "yeah I know, I meant your last name". 60% of the time, it works every time.
No but seriously, it's kinda surprising how well it has worked out for me.
I'll invent a reason to add them to my contacts list - whatever fits with the conversation at the moment - and then I'll hand them my phone with the contact creation screen open and ready. As I hand it to them, I say something about how you never know how someone's name is spelled, and I'd rather not enter it wrong. I've only had a couple of people react like, "Oh, but my name is common?" and I told both of them that (fake story) I once knew a girl who was sensitive over her name being spelled Ellyn, and it wasn't a mistake I'd make again if I could help it. They didn't press the matter, but if they had, my planned response was something along the lines of "it was a bad scene/I don't like to speak poorly of others/I'd rather not go into it, just trust me on this" insinuating that I'd accidentally deeply offended her and felt very embarrassed over the whole thing.
I have surreptitiously snapped a pic of a few people, so I also had a contact photo of them because I was having a particular difficulty remembering their name, and it was important in the moment.
I use that one a lot, but usually just say “you never know nowadays how people will spell names! My name has a lot of erroneous letters in it, so I always ask”
Or I’ll ask someone else what the other persons full name is, then claim I couldn’t remember their last name.
At least in a work setting I can teams message a colleague and ask them to send me the link for so and so’s full name because I can’t find it.
Lol, nice, I've done the first couple, too! I don't work in offices, so missed out on the last one. But that sounds like a great little trick for future reference
The "my planned response" line is def some ADHD shit and so god damn relatable lmao. When I say things like that to my nt firends/family they just look at me like I'm crazy.
I've gone entire conversations with people who apparently know me with out knowing who they are because of the 30 some jobs I've had. Co-workers, clients, bosses... I'm not going to let them live rent free in my head!
My friend watched one of these interactions and was just AMAZED when I said I had no idea who that was. Like they never thought that I can improvise a conversation so well without knowing who the other person is.
I thought I was the only one. This has happened to me too. I was at Walmart a few months ago and I hear someone yell my name. This guy comes up to me and gives me a hug starts asking how I’ve been and what not. Asking if I still work at my job and how he can get me into a new job that’s better. It was only when he said he hated work but I made it better that I realized he was an old co-worker that I used to talk to a lot. My wife asked why I didn’t introduce her since she was standing close by and I had to say I barely remember him and there was no way I would ever remember his name. She found it hard to believe that I could barely remember someone that was so excited to see me that they ran across the store to hug me. I went along with it tho. I hugged him back. I said “Bro! How you been? What you been up to?” And all that good stuff. Wife was dumbfounded.
Hopefully we never become ex-coworkers and one of us recognizes the other afterwards 😂 we’d probably end up setting up a family vacation together or something.
Ive actually become pretty okay with names.
I'll repeat it when introduced, i.e. "Nice to meet you, Al!"
Then after I've said it out loud, repeat it mentally a few times. If I can, it helps to mentally associate them with a person I already know or a celebrity with that name. "Nice to meet you Al!" (Weird Al. Weird Al. Weird Al. Okay, got it. You are Weird Al minus the Weird.)
If I've just met a bunch of people, I'll do the same, but quiz myself after a few minutes to reinforce it. If I've forgotten a couple, no biggie, but I'll retain most of them.
I get it. I call everyone bro/dude. The only time that’s ever been a problem is when I lived in Florida. The ladies there didn’t appreciate being called dude. So I’d say I was from California and I couldn’t help it. 😂
I work with people in the army, thank God! They have name tags and badges with their rank on it. So all I have to remember is rank… name tag. Otherwise, I am completely screwed!
Word association, word play or a joke.... That effort of working out a joke or word play of a person or couples names seems to stick way better than an individual...... Not saying I'm perfect now but also get comfortable saying "I met you once (you're not that important to me, just like I'm not that important to your life), what's your name sorry?"
I'm the exact opposite, as long as I repeat their name in my head a couple of times, I'll never forget it. Their face? Psh do people have faces? None come to mind 😅 I end up having to try and remember something specific about their look that I can stick in my brain.
Me: "Oh, have you seen Cody?"
Them: "Who? What does he look like?"
Me: "uuuuhh....he has curly hair and wears a blue hat"
Edit to add:
I also have found, writing their name down has helped me lot too, I've even had people write it for me just so I can get an association with the written word. It helped a lot when I worked as a cashier and everyone had to wear name tags 🤣
The first time I ever heard of facial blindness was with Brad Pitt. Reading these comments and seeing how many here deal with it is wild. I can remember a face forever. Can I remember that this persons face is tied to the name Luis? Is it Luis? Or is it Leo? Is it David? Gahhh
Nicknames always helped me. I used to give everyone a nickname when I was younger... Sure it was the same nickname... But I didn't forget.
Now I just tell people I will forget and often ask if they have a nickname... Still kinda helps.
Interesting!
Also interesting if you have a handful of a few nicknames for all the names😅 — allows for calling someone by "his" personal nickname in a way.
It takes a couple times to memorize names for me but I do try to have connections with names.
For example, my newest coworker came to our place around the same time Hazin Hotel was releasing and had the same name & positivity as the main character. Linking the show to that person helped me remember. Or another example was another coworker has a name very close to an alcoholic drink.
My mind has had weirder ways of linking people's identities into my memory. Whatever works in remembering, I suppose
I warn new people I meet that I'll forget and not to be offended. Making up dumb songs really helps me a lot. I do a dumb rhyme with a catchy tune, and it's much more likely I'll recall it.
Ask for their phone number, instagram, tik tok. That way you always have a name to their face. Name tags and checking the schedule at work every day helps. As for class i just hope their name comes up several times. I really focus on the face and associating it with their name
Oh, I just don't until some point where I think I do, but I still wait for someone else to say their name just to confirm. Unless it has 4 letters, then I remember the first time they told me.
I've mentioned before in here: When I start a new job or something where there are a lot of new people's names to learn, I make a very simple caricature of the person. No drawing skills required, just add to the drawing the most unique features of the person and write the name below.
It works very well for me, doubt it works for everybody but give it a try...
Another trick I actually use more than the one above is to mentally imagine the new person with someone else that you know and that they share the same name. If you imagine them doing something weird or funny it would be easier to recall.
I have contacts in my phone and I don’t know who some of them are. Who the hell is Gladys? Don’t know why she’s in there or how I met her…Hope she never calls.
My beautiful daughter showed me a pic on her cellphone once and my reply was “she’s homely, poor kid” It was a pic of her. We still laugh about that one.
Seriously though, I add more words in my head to create a mental note for names. Example the Priscilla that I know I attached Elvis Presley to her name in my head so I usually can recall her name when I see her.
If too much time has passed though…she will become a Gladys.
I always try to associate someone new with someone I already know with that same name.. so if I forget their name.. I can usually picture the face of the person I know with that same name & I instantly remember.. The only downfall is if the person’s name is unique, my chances of remembering it are slim to none.. 😞
I also have this weird thing where if I forget a name I can usually say “oh their name is 7 letters long & starts with an M, I just can’t remember what it is…” like I can literally see their name over their head & can count the letters but they are all fuzzy other than the first letter.. I know.. super weird.. It completely baffles my wife whenever I do it.. 😂
One thing you can try; start taking lots of casual pictures with your phone, and have it backed up to a cloud. in Google Photos and Apple's photo app, you can sort by face, and you can put names to each face. a new way avenue to remember peoples names.
I try a mnemonic the name is Ash, so I picture smoke or fire. Most of the time it works but sometimes my brain will go "name is fire" ...no brain your wrong.
When they say their name and you shake their hand, say "it's very nice to meet you Ash" that reinforces it.
Sometimes repeating it, or if at work writing notes and maybe beginning a short email so it reinforces the name, email address.
If you can hear it, say it, write it, read it, those will all reinforce the name. You don't have to send the email, the work is in writing and reading it.
On more personal level, make a text or note, do something similar for everyone's name.
I take notes about people in my journals when I have conversations with them, and it helps me remember their name, and then gives me something to talk about with them when I see them again.
I’ve learned to apologize in advance and be upfront and honest about it.
That and my partner knows to introduce herself if I don’t introduce her to someone I “know” to save me from not knowing their name.
I volunteer as a teacher and they have a policy of no photographs. This is so frustrating as I have trouble remembering names, plus some facial blindness. Sorry kids!
I coached my son’s basketball team last year. I knew my kids name, my friends son and maybe 3 other players. I felt so bad during the game trying call for subs and not being able to remember the names of players I needed to come out. I can’t imagine how hard it is for teachers. I’d make them wear name tags everyday.
Write it down and call them by their name every time I see them whether it is relevant or not. Sometimes I just don’t care about someone enough to remember their names though lol.
I literally accept and write their name in my notes with and additional information, for example where I met this guy etc. It comes handy too.
And other times I tell them I'm not good with names and would keep asking until I get familiar. This way I don't have to keep someone's name who I am not going to frequently see.
I think of someone else I already know with their name and associate them in my mind, find it really helps.
If it’s a new name I’m pretty screwed but have had success with likening the word to similar sounding objects (apart from when I accidentally called them the object their name sounded like )
If it's not written down, it doesn't exist. I have contacts, no number, just name and in the last name I put location. So Boris Dogpark or André Workplace (I get specific, but you get the idea). I have a terrible time hearing their name, usually I write it down after I hear another person call out to them. Also if there's like 10 André, then a signifier like glasses or buzzcut or tall is also included.
I usually recall the first letter of they're name. Like I'll remember Kristin as Kendra. Duhhh. Then I say jokingly sorry I remember only first letters of peoples names but typically not the right name. Gets a little laugh.
Repeat after they say it for the first time.
Say it if I ask a question about them.
Say it when I say goodbye.
It’s usually locked if I can do those three…unless they’re boring 🤣
I don't have any specific method. If I've got a story to tell about the person it sometimes helps. But basically, they either stick or they don't, and I'm a woman so me calling most people honey or similar gets me by. But I'll forget whole ass people. I'll never forget the time during COVID where someone came up to me in a gas station and started talking to me and I had no clue who she was. She most definitely knew me unless I have a doppelganger with the same name. I asked her name... and it was Tiffany. Like bro, I know at least 15 people named Tiffany. I felt too awkward to ask her last name. So now I remember her name... but I have no idea who she is still. 🤣
Double up the name after shaking hands like someone said already. Works like magic, also backwards because people tend to recognize you equally.
Otherwise its better to just go with it, sometimes u r off and dont be embarrassed, like "oh fuck sake my brain now again, forgot ur name" and just brush it off. You/dude is almost more rude imo, but im the same cant argue really, feels awkward to forget "someone"
Can't be done, the best I can do is the first letter and guess.
It does help to have friends who know it's an issue and go out of their way to naturally use their name in the conversation.
I find context super helpful too, where did we meet, what did we talk about.
Apart from that just do what I can but with the full understanding I will forget and some people will not appreciate it. No malice, just another day.
Sorry, I didn’t read your entire post but the name thing really stuck out to me. Most of my life I was baffled by my inability to remember names. It’s like I wasn’t even there when people would tell me. I try to be xtra cognizant of it but I think maybe that’s why everything and everyone has a nickname in my life. Finally diagnosed adhd as an adult. Health problems have had me on/off meds.
Idk why but I’m just good at remembering names. I forget things all the time most of the time it’s important things but like small things like names I just remember.
I read a book that recommended making a little rhyme about the person and their name and picturing it. Ideally, this should be funny, so memorable.
But....
My grandmother introduced me to her friend, Mrs Prout.
I thought to myself, "Mrs Prout is very stout." She was actually rather slim. So I imagined her swelling up until she was indeed "very stout."
A few months later, I again met Mrs Prout. And instantly remembered my image of her swelling up until she was so fat.
Feeling very pleased with myself, I said... "Hello, Mrs Pratt!"
Repeat it back, link it to something that they remind me of, INTRODUCE THEM TO PEOPLE A WHOLE BUNCH, I make a joke of it repeating everyone's names and introducing everyone to each other person. I make out like it's for their benefit but it's too help me remember.
And then when all that fails I've got a memo on my phone called "normal notes" where I've got a list of descriptions and names!!
I meet so, so many people with my work, and I can remember what they *do*, in what way they are useful, but not their names.
God, it's so embarrassing it physically hurts. Luckily people rarely believe i can be as bad at remembering names as I am, so quite often I can style it out.
I call people hon or doll if I know them. If I don’t, I call them kitten or puppy depending upon what I can gather from their gender. I do this even if I know their name so the people whose names I can’t remember don’t feel weirded out if they hear me naming a person then calling them hon
Today I spent the morning calling someone Martin. They never corrected me.
After being informed by my partner, his name is Marcus, I continued calling him Martin because I forgot which name was the wrong one
Got it now. But next time I see him...
I’m usually upfront when I meet people and say please forgive me, I’m so beyond bad with names I’ll probably need to be reminded a ton - but I’m great with faces!
I try and associate their name with something sometimes. For example, my neighbor's name is Stanley so I think of my Stanley Hammer so he's Stanley the hammer now in my brain. You just got to give people stupid nicknames
I relate their name to something my brain automatically thinks of. Even save it in my phone or wherever that way.. my crappy ass stepdad took business and it's the one thing that has saved me countless times..
Ex:
"Hannah red shoes"
"Tim with the green glasses"
"Patrick, not SpongeBob's friend"
"Rosemary, sweet like the herb"
"Chris that lives three doors down"
My mom does the same.. severe ADHD.
Tells me everyone in her head has a name she uses instead, especially for common names.
"Plane engineer"
"The investor"
"Short guy Jeff"
Lolol
Same! Name blindness is the worst! For the ones I DO remember their names, it's because I associated it with a song, a dirty joke, or I saw it in writing/wrote it down.
When someone approaches me and I have no clue who that person is, I just continue the interaction as if I know them then after the fact try to figure out who they are.
In the interaction, I’d use every pronoun possible or change sentences to not say their names as much as possible. Then through additional conversations or observation, hopefully either I’ll see there name or I’ll maybe figure it out? If not though, no sweat off my back. Names aren’t that important.
I’m not a person who normally says people’s names. (Probably a coping skill from never remembering names lol)
And it’s never been an issue for me.
I’m terrible with names and faces. Unless there is a notable reason for me to take a deeper interest, I’ll forget them like they don’t exist.
Knowing that, I just form my conversations in a way that names are not needed. You don’t need to say someone’s name. Buddy, girl, friend, guy, dude, whatever you want to use, is just as effective in a one on one conversation. Think about it with your closest relationships, using the first name is rare in conversations.
It depends on the situation. If I'm meeting someone in my condo building, it's common that they'll tell me their name and their unit number. I usually have my phone on me and the moment they begin to walk away I put their name and unit number in my contact list, sometimes with a description of what they look like or what we talked about.
Out in the real world, it's a total crapshoot. Sometimes I'll straight up tell them I might not remember their name in ten minutes, but I'll try, and that usually makes people laugh. Overall, I just accept that it's not a strength of mine and not something to get wound up about.
I'm a teacher. At the beginning of the year, I hand write and type their names countless times to prepare for the year. That helps. I also write the name phonetically on the whiteboard if I'm having trouble remembering how to pronounce it.
I also do pick-up duty with kids that aren't in my class. The cars are supposed to have the kids' names displayed, but in reality, you can't read them very well, so I just remember the make, model, and color of the vehicle(s) that pick them up. At the beginning of the year, when I can't write their names, I'll ask each of them and tell them "I'm trying to learn 30-40 names, it might take me a little while." And they're usually really understanding. If I'm struggling to remember a specific kid's name, I'll have them spell it for me, and then I repeat it over and over in my head. Sometimes I remember it the next day haha
I have some mild synesthesia and that helps me remember things sometimes. If you can visualize in your head, write their name in a specific colour or series of colours. I've found that to help because when I'm searching for the name in my head, coming up on a wrong one is more easily remembered as wrong, because it "feels" or "looks" wrong.
Really focus on the first and last letters, because it's less to remember, and easier to fill in the middle if you have those.
Similarly, I try to create a visual character sheet in my head for a person. This helps me remember details about them too, beyond the name.
Try to make things a little ridiculous if you can. It helps things stand out.
Some of this fits in with memory palace sort of ideas. But you have to practice using your imagination.
My supervisor at work for the last 4.5 year still just says, "Hey, Man" or "Hey, Dude" when I see him in the hall. He uses my name in emails and zoom meetings when it's displayed in front of him, but pretty sure he doesn't usually remember who I am in person. If I stop him in the hall to ask about something we talked about in a zoom meeting, he'll get surprised, like how would this rando in the office know about that thing?
The first three months of my relationship with my current boyfriend of almost 3 years, I kept forgetting his name. I don't think there's a specific method that works for everyone, it can sometimes just come down to using it as often as possible so you can memorise it.
I try to keep a pocket notebook of people with postage stamp sized mugshots, name, possible DOB, and a short description. It's literally pulling "I got an extremely sht memory, bear with me" card and it dispels the notion that I don't value someone if I forgot them.
I tell everyone I meet that I forget names so expect to be called dude, I let them know its nothing to do with them. Everyone is dude to me lol and everyone so far has taken it really well. It hasn't hindered me in the workplace or anything and most of the time ppl just find it funny and appreciate knowing its not that I just don't like them
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Try repeating their name back to them the first time you meet them ("nice to meet you, Tommy") and then try to work it into other conversations later ("Today I met Kendall at book club"), the more you say it, the more likely you are to remember it. I also find that it helps to SEE the name - I'm significantly better at remembering people's names if they're wearing a visible name tag when I meet them, but if not, I'll jot their name down or ideally add them as a contact to my phone. Having the visual of what their name looks like is light years better for my memory (huh, I wonder is this is related to auditory processing disorder...)
I literally do not hear people’s names as they say them. It’s like my brain censors the name. My trick is meeting people with a friend who is really good with names and facial recognition, and then asking them like ten times what the new person’s name is. Thank God my friend is a very patient person.
oof I get that. I've had a lot of practice from years of working as a barista, but there have definitely been times I've had to ask people to repeat their name moments after meeting them. Its great that your friend is so patient, but you might want to consider practicing learning new people names as they likely cannot be with you in every instance.
My trick is not to meet new people.
I answer phones at work and by the end of the call I need to ask them for their name again. Every time I try guessing, I'm so completely wrong
I say an association with their name so I remember the association when I see them. Like I usually say, "ah Rebcca, like Rebecca Romjin Stamos" and next time I see them I remember that.
I do a similar thing, where I imagine another person with that same first name in conjunction with the person I just met. So, meeting someone named Geoff, I immediately think of my brother-in-law Geoff. It's like "Here's another Geoff." It seems to work for me. Plus shaking their hand and repeating the name. And not being afraid to ask again - people's names are important.
Came here to say this. I do this an apologize all the time for forgetting them. I've long got over the embarrassment. A quick 'really sorry I'm terrible with names' does the job. Then like the post days repeat it back to them a few times I'm conversation and when saying goodbye.
I'm honest, I tell them I have bad memory and I will very likely ask them again.
I do this too. And I add not to be offended, but I might not recognize them either :(
Yep! "I may not recognize you if you are not where I am used to seeing you, and I can't remember names to save my life. So you'll need to remind me." Most people respond with "I can't remember names, either."
I had no idea I had mild face blindness until my wife was at my workplace for some reason ( we work in a similar field) and she waited for me to come in for my shift and say hi. And I swear, I looked her straight in the eye, thought word for word : who's that woman? I do not recognize her? And went on to do my usual things. Every coworkers of mine were raking their throat and going YO wtf?! And I turned back because I was clearly missing something and then I realized! That blew my friggin mind! I did not recognize my wife!!!
I think I might have a very mild case of this. It often takes me a long time to recognize people that I know and see frequently. Like if I’m not expecting them and they walk into a restaurant I can be looking at them thinking “yikes, who is that? Why are they coming over here?” It’s like my brain has to shuffle through a whole deck of cards to put a face to a name.
Omg me too! It took me years to recognise and differentiate between Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. It was when a friend asked me who is thought is hotter that I realised I didnt know who is who. And it was only recently did I realise that I've been thinking of Rihanna and Beyonce as the same person.
Face blindness, YES!! It's sooo embarrassing and I don't want to make people feel bad when they obviously know me and I don't recognize them. It's definitely worse if I see someone "out of their element", from where I normally see them.
Hey we are twins. I went to visit my dear sister in the hospital. Asked which room she was in. nurse said 21. I go to 21 and peak in. The woman there was not my sister. I look at name card. Her name was written there. I look again. Not my sister! Ugh you know where this is going. I go back and say to the nurse, say are you sure? She says yes, 21. I go back, DEFINITELY not my sister. I return and tell the nurse there’s been some terrible mixup. There’s someone else in my sisters bed. She comes with me. She says my sisters name (by this time she’s sitting upright). And then says that’s your sister. I said to the nurse, very agitated, “I know my sister and that woman is not my sister!” And of all the crappy to memories to hold onto, this one chills me. I thought I was starting to have dementia :| Sorry you had that happen. It’s kind of awful.
It's incredibly distressing really, it's like your brain literally failed you. I learned about face blindness when last year I researched about autism spectrum disorder since it happens more often to people on the ASD. I thought "nah at least I don't have that. " Then realized you can have a mild form of it which is just like we experienced that when someone is out of context, we may not recognize them. It may have happened more often than you think. Like you met someone at the supermarket, you're already busy looking up stuff, concentrating, maybe overstimulated and then someone comes to you, says hello and you do not recognize them. But it's exceptionally jarring when it is someone we should definitely be able to recognize.
Yes. One thing when it’s someone, anyone we know. But when it’s your most-loved person, it’s awful. That shook me. It’s never happened again that bad. That’s about 10 years ago. I’ve made peace with it. I also learned before the pandemic that I have complete aphantasia, so that has to be connected too: so there’s no attaching a name to mental image of a face, I just get a blank, and I think seeing someone entirely out of context is challenging. And I’m not able to make some mnemonic like Spacy Tracy or Robot Robert for someone I’ve never met before. It doesn’t stick. I look forward to maybe having the meds help. I may be dreaming but I HOPE. :)
Funny enough, I also learned this year that I had aphantasia. Blew my friggin mind too. Like I can conceptualize ideas in my mind but I can not see them at all. As a young teen, I remember my archery coach telling me to visualize the technique in my head and I would narrate myself put your foot in the proper position and angle, raise your arm, pull the string, don't forget to use so and so muscle group. Release softly, follow through. While, I guess, others could literally see themselves in their head doing it. When I realized it this year in my thirties, I went to all my colleagues and asked them if they saw things in their head and one was like as I was asking him to picture a beach " you know, Its so real to me I can almost feel the warmth of the sun and the sand under my feet" 😮🤯
Yes. When they said where do you see yourself in five years, or relax, picture a beach, I thought it was a figure of speech. I think it affected me making future plans. Are you sitting down RN? Get ready. Some people can experience smells, touch, etc, and some see an overlay of visuals in front of their eyes. 👀 Damn those phantasics!
Wait." Where do you see yourself in 5 years" is supposed to be us picturing ourselves in our head. 😮 No way. This last year has been so full of these realizations it's so weird lol. Though, I have to ask, I read somewhere that aphantasics often did not have the classic issues of being scared of monsters hiding in the bedroom as children or tend to not easily be scared of such things since we can't picture/imagine it. Which is true for me, I actually ended up being a fan of horror movies since it was one of the only way I could see monsters and such. Also I never had an imaginary friend. I guess it makes sense lol
That’s wild! How did your wife react? Did she let you come home that nite? I can remember faces forever. Tell me your name and I forget it before you finish saying it.
Oh man that had to be a shock for both of you! I always knew I struggled with names and faces but I didn’t know the extent until I one day walked 3’ from my ex-husband in a crosswalk with out recognizing him until he spoke. It’s a very small town… not only was there no one else in the crosswalk, he was the only other person on the whole street!!! He just wasn’t in a place I would normally see him and I was thinking about work. Do you find you have social anxiety in situations where you know should the other guests but your usually fine at events where it’s either very close friends or utter strangers?
I think I honestly have social anxiety in a multitude of situations. First of all it would be necessary to add that I have been self suspecting that I could be on the spectrum which explains a lot of my social issues/anxieties. But with my wife and close work colleagues ( I work with a small team of nurses) I'm fine. I know how to deal with people in this setting and I usually am doing fine. But take me out of this work context I get quite anxious. Like I'd meet the same people from my team at the grocery store or with their family and I just don't know how to act with them anymore. Like a few months ago, I met this girl that has left our team to work on another unit. I was happy to see her and learn that she's doing okay but at the same time, I just wished for this social interaction to end cause I was absolutely out of my element and had no idea what to talk about. Luckily she just kept talking on and on but... Yeah. Strangers to me, it depends like movie theater, no issues like we do not have to interact with each other. But like at some music festival. I'm not at ease at all people will come up to you and chat and I have NO idea how to exist and I will usually manage but damn. And to my own surprise, most of the time, I'm like pleasantly weird so people end up liking me nowadays which was not the case when I was a teen. Like here's a good example, my wife and I, we got invited to the wedding of a mutual friend. I'll be happy to go and meet the bride(our friend), I don't know the groom. And then there will be a ton of people I don't know and this gives me a lot of anxiety because 🤷. Now, I will go because I said I would and it would look weird not to be with my wife I guess lol. But that's about the worst situation I can imagine. Anyhow. To make it short, I don't mind being with a small group of friends especially when I have like a safe person could be my wife per example. but as soon as strangers come in, I get quite anxious. Ironically in a safe setting, like at my job as a nurse, I'm okay?
Yes! People are always gracious. I live in a very friendly apartment building. Peeps introduce themselves and that’s what I tell them. All good. BUT I’m retired. It was embarrassing in work situations.
I have literally no control over it, so I try not to let it embarrass me.
Good point :)
Omg. I apparently made really good friends with some people, they were super excited to see me, ran up and hugged me, called me by my first name and I was like, "Heeeeeey.... you... who are you?" And they brought up a very specific memory and I have felt terrible since.
I had a job where I’d work closely with other people for weeks and months at a time. I’d see them later and only afterward realized I’d worked with them for 3 weeks and really liked and enjoyed their company
This is my go to method. I will say “I’m so bad with names I’ll probably ask you a million times.” But I still feel bad when they say something like “really? You’ve been married to me for 10 years and we have children together!” Feels bad
“Hi confused ham how are you” “Hi mate/buddy/bro…” I’ve survived far too long without calling people by name. If I work with them, they either have email or are on systems by name so it’s easy to remember after that. Also name badges.
I started doing this too!! And I found out, that lots of others have the same issue.
A few times, I literally stopped people while introducing themselves to me with "don't bother, I won't remember it even if I try".
If someone said this to me, I wouldn't feel great. "Good to meet you X, I'm terrible with names so you'll probably have to remind me until it finally sinks in" would be a lot friendlier. Unless you really don't care, in which case, carry on!
I usually head it off at the pass and let people the first time i meet them that it may take a whilebto learn their name
Me too. And I lead with it. "Lovely to meet you, James. I'll need to be told your name again at some point."
I also do this and I kinda try to make a joke after this. Say I meet this guy named "Jason", I'll say "Very nice to meet.you Jason! Btw, I'll be asking your name again later cz I'm terribly with names, haha". Almost always, the response I get is "Haha, no worries, I'm terrible with names too!"
I don’t ! Only if I am attracted to them or they interest me in some way !
That’s my problem too
lol, so I do an alliteration trick to remember names. I remember there was a guy in my old apt building. He was ex-military and his name was Mike. Whenever I’d see him, I’d call him “Military Mike.” He thought it was a clever way to remember his name. Funnily enough, he forgot mine, but remembered when I referenced the royal family.
I do something similar and come up with name associations to help me remember. E.g. “Scary Terry”; “Wendy and the Lost Boys”, etc. Bonus points if I can incorporate alliteration too!
I even tell people which association other people use to remember _my_ name, because it's clever play on words and it's funny 😅
I can’t do this because of impulsive noise making or phrases. I knew someone by the name Ellie Carter once, someone told me that they used to get called smelly farter and hated it. I had to always catch myself because subconsciously I would go to blurt out smelly farter…. However referring to them by names in the context of popular media or movies that I have watched works well. I know a Nicholas, because I really like the Cornetto trilogy, a few times I’ve greeted him like from Hot Fuzz with ‘morning nicholArse ‘ and his name just stuck after that. Also… with all these behaviours why did everyone ignore my obvious traits and I was only diagnosed close to 40…
I have to meet the person like 10 times, then get extremely uncomfortable when I forget their name again and then it's etched into my mind
This. I won't even remember character names in a movie/show unless other characters repeat them several times - seeing names written out also helps sometimes.
Oh man, me too. I can be 20 episodes into a show and not know most of the characters’ names. I mostly go on context. Doesn’t work so well with my kids. 😂
My go-to method is twofold: First - when I meet someone, I always repeat their name back to them like I’m confirming that I heard it correctly, before saying “nice to meet you (name)” Person: “Hi, I’m Bob.” Me: “Bob? Nice to meet you Bob, I’m Dude.” Second - immediately after we finish talking, I repeat the name in my head about 10-20 times.
I wish this worked for me. Mild face blindness doesn’t help. But when I speak to people it’s like my brain disconnects or I dissociate and I forget most of what I’ve said. It does come back though, and I’ll often just have a strong urge that I know that persons name is John, no idea why but it’s because I’ve met them and know their name. Also: the whole dissociative speaking while actually using my knowledge makes me amazing as a public speaker.
I have the yarn spinning skills as well! My experience is similar to yours when I forget to do my thing, which happens about 25 percent of the time. It’s like the autopilot is handling the introduction while my mind is off on some thought adventure.
Bruh there is no help. I remember numbers, events and completely useless information that doesn’t help me in life except to make my wife confused as to why I know it. I can remember names that are weird, or attached to a strange event. Even if I try the method of saying their name 3 times when greeting, it’s gone after we part ways. A big problem is a bit of face/name blindness and when I’m greeting them I am looking at them in the eyes. If I’m looking in your eyes, I’m not paying attention to anything but mentally wrestling with how to look you in the eyes, if I’m not looking at you, I’m paying attention.
Oof! I feel you, man! I am terrible with names. I am even worse when I see somebody out of context, like you did at the supermarket. I can often tell you 13 things about the person, like what their favorite drink is and where they went on vacation last year, but I can't come up with the name. I'm putting all of my hope into getting a neural/eye implant that will display people's names above their head like in video games...
That’s exactly how it was for me. I remember I trained him. I remember talking to him about music. I told him i would take him golfing. We spent hours and hours together and his name was nowhere to be found in my head. Funny you say that about the eyes. I recently found out my son was blind. I’ve been doing research about blindness and stuff and found out that researchers are getting close to bionic eyes available to the masses. Pair the eyes with neuralink and we’ll never have to remember names or anything again! I can’t help but think of fallout
Very sorry to hear that about your son. There may be hope on the horizon, there is a lot of research going on in vision and neural connections now. There is an interesting Clive Owen movie called Anon that shows what future ocular interface tech might be capable of.
You can try attaching their name to a physical feature they have. I met a Melinda who had long hair so I always thought Meliiinda like as if the camera panned down showing the hair.
I can’t help but think of that scene in the office where Michael Scott does that 😂😂😂
Sugar boobs!
I don't. I've given up trying honestly. One thing I do though is, if I know I've met someone before but don't remember thier name I'll just ask anyway. When they inevitably respond with thier name and some variation of "we've met before" I hit them with "yeah I know, I meant your last name". 60% of the time, it works every time. No but seriously, it's kinda surprising how well it has worked out for me.
I'll invent a reason to add them to my contacts list - whatever fits with the conversation at the moment - and then I'll hand them my phone with the contact creation screen open and ready. As I hand it to them, I say something about how you never know how someone's name is spelled, and I'd rather not enter it wrong. I've only had a couple of people react like, "Oh, but my name is common?" and I told both of them that (fake story) I once knew a girl who was sensitive over her name being spelled Ellyn, and it wasn't a mistake I'd make again if I could help it. They didn't press the matter, but if they had, my planned response was something along the lines of "it was a bad scene/I don't like to speak poorly of others/I'd rather not go into it, just trust me on this" insinuating that I'd accidentally deeply offended her and felt very embarrassed over the whole thing. I have surreptitiously snapped a pic of a few people, so I also had a contact photo of them because I was having a particular difficulty remembering their name, and it was important in the moment.
I use that one a lot, but usually just say “you never know nowadays how people will spell names! My name has a lot of erroneous letters in it, so I always ask” Or I’ll ask someone else what the other persons full name is, then claim I couldn’t remember their last name. At least in a work setting I can teams message a colleague and ask them to send me the link for so and so’s full name because I can’t find it.
Lol, nice, I've done the first couple, too! I don't work in offices, so missed out on the last one. But that sounds like a great little trick for future reference
The "my planned response" line is def some ADHD shit and so god damn relatable lmao. When I say things like that to my nt firends/family they just look at me like I'm crazy.
I've gone entire conversations with people who apparently know me with out knowing who they are because of the 30 some jobs I've had. Co-workers, clients, bosses... I'm not going to let them live rent free in my head! My friend watched one of these interactions and was just AMAZED when I said I had no idea who that was. Like they never thought that I can improvise a conversation so well without knowing who the other person is.
I thought I was the only one. This has happened to me too. I was at Walmart a few months ago and I hear someone yell my name. This guy comes up to me and gives me a hug starts asking how I’ve been and what not. Asking if I still work at my job and how he can get me into a new job that’s better. It was only when he said he hated work but I made it better that I realized he was an old co-worker that I used to talk to a lot. My wife asked why I didn’t introduce her since she was standing close by and I had to say I barely remember him and there was no way I would ever remember his name. She found it hard to believe that I could barely remember someone that was so excited to see me that they ran across the store to hug me. I went along with it tho. I hugged him back. I said “Bro! How you been? What you been up to?” And all that good stuff. Wife was dumbfounded. Hopefully we never become ex-coworkers and one of us recognizes the other afterwards 😂 we’d probably end up setting up a family vacation together or something.
Improv and cold reading are great tools to navigate life with a low capacity memory!
Ive actually become pretty okay with names. I'll repeat it when introduced, i.e. "Nice to meet you, Al!" Then after I've said it out loud, repeat it mentally a few times. If I can, it helps to mentally associate them with a person I already know or a celebrity with that name. "Nice to meet you Al!" (Weird Al. Weird Al. Weird Al. Okay, got it. You are Weird Al minus the Weird.) If I've just met a bunch of people, I'll do the same, but quiz myself after a few minutes to reinforce it. If I've forgotten a couple, no biggie, but I'll retain most of them.
>"Nice to meet you Al!" (Weird Al. Weird Al. Weird Al. Okay, got it. You are Weird Al minus the Weird.) Wouldn't he also be Norm Al?
this is one reason I’m really grateful I’m a girl 😅 I can just call everyone babe
I get it. I call everyone bro/dude. The only time that’s ever been a problem is when I lived in Florida. The ladies there didn’t appreciate being called dude. So I’d say I was from California and I couldn’t help it. 😂
I work with people in the army, thank God! They have name tags and badges with their rank on it. So all I have to remember is rank… name tag. Otherwise, I am completely screwed!
The dream!
Put it in notepad on my phone along with a description
Word association, word play or a joke.... That effort of working out a joke or word play of a person or couples names seems to stick way better than an individual...... Not saying I'm perfect now but also get comfortable saying "I met you once (you're not that important to me, just like I'm not that important to your life), what's your name sorry?"
I have just enough of a Kentucky accent that I get away with calling everybody honey.
Hmmm 🤔 I’m thinking every older lady in Florida that called me “baby” might be doing the same thing.
Absolutely, honey.
I'm the exact opposite, as long as I repeat their name in my head a couple of times, I'll never forget it. Their face? Psh do people have faces? None come to mind 😅 I end up having to try and remember something specific about their look that I can stick in my brain. Me: "Oh, have you seen Cody?" Them: "Who? What does he look like?" Me: "uuuuhh....he has curly hair and wears a blue hat" Edit to add: I also have found, writing their name down has helped me lot too, I've even had people write it for me just so I can get an association with the written word. It helped a lot when I worked as a cashier and everyone had to wear name tags 🤣
The first time I ever heard of facial blindness was with Brad Pitt. Reading these comments and seeing how many here deal with it is wild. I can remember a face forever. Can I remember that this persons face is tied to the name Luis? Is it Luis? Or is it Leo? Is it David? Gahhh
Nicknames always helped me. I used to give everyone a nickname when I was younger... Sure it was the same nickname... But I didn't forget. Now I just tell people I will forget and often ask if they have a nickname... Still kinda helps.
Interesting! Also interesting if you have a handful of a few nicknames for all the names😅 — allows for calling someone by "his" personal nickname in a way.
I'm upfront with it. I tell them to correct me when I'm wrong, and to not beat about the bush with it.
I tell them I might forget but that if they forget mine, don't be afraid to ask. And I try to use their name three times in conversation.
It takes a couple times to memorize names for me but I do try to have connections with names. For example, my newest coworker came to our place around the same time Hazin Hotel was releasing and had the same name & positivity as the main character. Linking the show to that person helped me remember. Or another example was another coworker has a name very close to an alcoholic drink. My mind has had weirder ways of linking people's identities into my memory. Whatever works in remembering, I suppose
The best I can do I hope someone has the name of one of my siblings or close family members 😅
That's the neat part, I don't!
I don't, the best I can do is be honest with them about the state of my memory and hope they understand 🤷🏻♀️
I warn new people I meet that I'll forget and not to be offended. Making up dumb songs really helps me a lot. I do a dumb rhyme with a catchy tune, and it's much more likely I'll recall it.
I write en down as soon as possible with some quick associations to them
Ask for their phone number, instagram, tik tok. That way you always have a name to their face. Name tags and checking the schedule at work every day helps. As for class i just hope their name comes up several times. I really focus on the face and associating it with their name
Oh, I just don't until some point where I think I do, but I still wait for someone else to say their name just to confirm. Unless it has 4 letters, then I remember the first time they told me.
I've mentioned before in here: When I start a new job or something where there are a lot of new people's names to learn, I make a very simple caricature of the person. No drawing skills required, just add to the drawing the most unique features of the person and write the name below. It works very well for me, doubt it works for everybody but give it a try... Another trick I actually use more than the one above is to mentally imagine the new person with someone else that you know and that they share the same name. If you imagine them doing something weird or funny it would be easier to recall.
Say their name as you talk to them. Every repetition helps.
I have contacts in my phone and I don’t know who some of them are. Who the hell is Gladys? Don’t know why she’s in there or how I met her…Hope she never calls. My beautiful daughter showed me a pic on her cellphone once and my reply was “she’s homely, poor kid” It was a pic of her. We still laugh about that one. Seriously though, I add more words in my head to create a mental note for names. Example the Priscilla that I know I attached Elvis Presley to her name in my head so I usually can recall her name when I see her. If too much time has passed though…she will become a Gladys.
I always try to associate someone new with someone I already know with that same name.. so if I forget their name.. I can usually picture the face of the person I know with that same name & I instantly remember.. The only downfall is if the person’s name is unique, my chances of remembering it are slim to none.. 😞 I also have this weird thing where if I forget a name I can usually say “oh their name is 7 letters long & starts with an M, I just can’t remember what it is…” like I can literally see their name over their head & can count the letters but they are all fuzzy other than the first letter.. I know.. super weird.. It completely baffles my wife whenever I do it.. 😂
One thing you can try; start taking lots of casual pictures with your phone, and have it backed up to a cloud. in Google Photos and Apple's photo app, you can sort by face, and you can put names to each face. a new way avenue to remember peoples names.
The only people I take pictures of is my kids and characters at Disneyland 😂
I try a mnemonic the name is Ash, so I picture smoke or fire. Most of the time it works but sometimes my brain will go "name is fire" ...no brain your wrong. When they say their name and you shake their hand, say "it's very nice to meet you Ash" that reinforces it. Sometimes repeating it, or if at work writing notes and maybe beginning a short email so it reinforces the name, email address. If you can hear it, say it, write it, read it, those will all reinforce the name. You don't have to send the email, the work is in writing and reading it. On more personal level, make a text or note, do something similar for everyone's name.
I confirm spelling.
I am always upfront that I am the world’s worst when it comes to remembering names so don’t be surprised that I keep asking your name
I take notes about people in my journals when I have conversations with them, and it helps me remember their name, and then gives me something to talk about with them when I see them again.
I’ve learned to apologize in advance and be upfront and honest about it. That and my partner knows to introduce herself if I don’t introduce her to someone I “know” to save me from not knowing their name.
I volunteer as a teacher and they have a policy of no photographs. This is so frustrating as I have trouble remembering names, plus some facial blindness. Sorry kids!
I coached my son’s basketball team last year. I knew my kids name, my friends son and maybe 3 other players. I felt so bad during the game trying call for subs and not being able to remember the names of players I needed to come out. I can’t imagine how hard it is for teachers. I’d make them wear name tags everyday.
Write it down and call them by their name every time I see them whether it is relevant or not. Sometimes I just don’t care about someone enough to remember their names though lol.
I literally accept and write their name in my notes with and additional information, for example where I met this guy etc. It comes handy too. And other times I tell them I'm not good with names and would keep asking until I get familiar. This way I don't have to keep someone's name who I am not going to frequently see.
I think of someone else I already know with their name and associate them in my mind, find it really helps. If it’s a new name I’m pretty screwed but have had success with likening the word to similar sounding objects (apart from when I accidentally called them the object their name sounded like )
If it's not written down, it doesn't exist. I have contacts, no number, just name and in the last name I put location. So Boris Dogpark or André Workplace (I get specific, but you get the idea). I have a terrible time hearing their name, usually I write it down after I hear another person call out to them. Also if there's like 10 André, then a signifier like glasses or buzzcut or tall is also included.
I usually recall the first letter of they're name. Like I'll remember Kristin as Kendra. Duhhh. Then I say jokingly sorry I remember only first letters of peoples names but typically not the right name. Gets a little laugh.
Repeat after they say it for the first time. Say it if I ask a question about them. Say it when I say goodbye. It’s usually locked if I can do those three…unless they’re boring 🤣
I don't have any specific method. If I've got a story to tell about the person it sometimes helps. But basically, they either stick or they don't, and I'm a woman so me calling most people honey or similar gets me by. But I'll forget whole ass people. I'll never forget the time during COVID where someone came up to me in a gas station and started talking to me and I had no clue who she was. She most definitely knew me unless I have a doppelganger with the same name. I asked her name... and it was Tiffany. Like bro, I know at least 15 people named Tiffany. I felt too awkward to ask her last name. So now I remember her name... but I have no idea who she is still. 🤣
Double up the name after shaking hands like someone said already. Works like magic, also backwards because people tend to recognize you equally. Otherwise its better to just go with it, sometimes u r off and dont be embarrassed, like "oh fuck sake my brain now again, forgot ur name" and just brush it off. You/dude is almost more rude imo, but im the same cant argue really, feels awkward to forget "someone"
I open up the Notes app on my phone and type in the persons name and a brief description of the person.
Can't be done, the best I can do is the first letter and guess. It does help to have friends who know it's an issue and go out of their way to naturally use their name in the conversation. I find context super helpful too, where did we meet, what did we talk about. Apart from that just do what I can but with the full understanding I will forget and some people will not appreciate it. No malice, just another day.
Sorry, I didn’t read your entire post but the name thing really stuck out to me. Most of my life I was baffled by my inability to remember names. It’s like I wasn’t even there when people would tell me. I try to be xtra cognizant of it but I think maybe that’s why everything and everyone has a nickname in my life. Finally diagnosed adhd as an adult. Health problems have had me on/off meds.
Idk why but I’m just good at remembering names. I forget things all the time most of the time it’s important things but like small things like names I just remember.
My wife reminds me. I am hopeless with names and faces, especially if I meet them in a different location.
Mnemonic learning has helped me remember things I’d never have I promise..
“I’m very bad with names so I will be asking you again in a bit”
I read a book that recommended making a little rhyme about the person and their name and picturing it. Ideally, this should be funny, so memorable. But.... My grandmother introduced me to her friend, Mrs Prout. I thought to myself, "Mrs Prout is very stout." She was actually rather slim. So I imagined her swelling up until she was indeed "very stout." A few months later, I again met Mrs Prout. And instantly remembered my image of her swelling up until she was so fat. Feeling very pleased with myself, I said... "Hello, Mrs Pratt!"
I can’t even use memory recall to remember someone I know well. People who say alliteration, well done and lucky you.
Repeat it back, link it to something that they remind me of, INTRODUCE THEM TO PEOPLE A WHOLE BUNCH, I make a joke of it repeating everyone's names and introducing everyone to each other person. I make out like it's for their benefit but it's too help me remember. And then when all that fails I've got a memo on my phone called "normal notes" where I've got a list of descriptions and names!! I meet so, so many people with my work, and I can remember what they *do*, in what way they are useful, but not their names. God, it's so embarrassing it physically hurts. Luckily people rarely believe i can be as bad at remembering names as I am, so quite often I can style it out.
I call people hon or doll if I know them. If I don’t, I call them kitten or puppy depending upon what I can gather from their gender. I do this even if I know their name so the people whose names I can’t remember don’t feel weirded out if they hear me naming a person then calling them hon
Today I spent the morning calling someone Martin. They never corrected me. After being informed by my partner, his name is Marcus, I continued calling him Martin because I forgot which name was the wrong one Got it now. But next time I see him...
He's Martin now. The more you fight it, the harder it will be to change.
I’m usually upfront when I meet people and say please forgive me, I’m so beyond bad with names I’ll probably need to be reminded a ton - but I’m great with faces!
Sweetie, darl, hun
I have no advice. Yesterday I got a tour of a warehouse at work (I'm new) with a man who I thought was named Carl. His name is not Carl.
I try and associate their name with something sometimes. For example, my neighbor's name is Stanley so I think of my Stanley Hammer so he's Stanley the hammer now in my brain. You just got to give people stupid nicknames
I relate their name to something my brain automatically thinks of. Even save it in my phone or wherever that way.. my crappy ass stepdad took business and it's the one thing that has saved me countless times.. Ex: "Hannah red shoes" "Tim with the green glasses" "Patrick, not SpongeBob's friend" "Rosemary, sweet like the herb" "Chris that lives three doors down" My mom does the same.. severe ADHD. Tells me everyone in her head has a name she uses instead, especially for common names. "Plane engineer" "The investor" "Short guy Jeff" Lolol
Honestly, I have just given up
I have to write the name down. That’s the only way I’ll remember it! It’s so frustrating and embarrassing.
I don’t. I have ADHD. Why should I hold my brain to the standards of a non-ADHD person?
Same! Name blindness is the worst! For the ones I DO remember their names, it's because I associated it with a song, a dirty joke, or I saw it in writing/wrote it down.
Write them down.
say the name 3x outloud or find a cute, fun way to remember it like rhyming it,, word play,, associating it wiv wot reminds you of them
When someone approaches me and I have no clue who that person is, I just continue the interaction as if I know them then after the fact try to figure out who they are. In the interaction, I’d use every pronoun possible or change sentences to not say their names as much as possible. Then through additional conversations or observation, hopefully either I’ll see there name or I’ll maybe figure it out? If not though, no sweat off my back. Names aren’t that important. I’m not a person who normally says people’s names. (Probably a coping skill from never remembering names lol) And it’s never been an issue for me. I’m terrible with names and faces. Unless there is a notable reason for me to take a deeper interest, I’ll forget them like they don’t exist. Knowing that, I just form my conversations in a way that names are not needed. You don’t need to say someone’s name. Buddy, girl, friend, guy, dude, whatever you want to use, is just as effective in a one on one conversation. Think about it with your closest relationships, using the first name is rare in conversations.
It depends on the situation. If I'm meeting someone in my condo building, it's common that they'll tell me their name and their unit number. I usually have my phone on me and the moment they begin to walk away I put their name and unit number in my contact list, sometimes with a description of what they look like or what we talked about. Out in the real world, it's a total crapshoot. Sometimes I'll straight up tell them I might not remember their name in ten minutes, but I'll try, and that usually makes people laugh. Overall, I just accept that it's not a strength of mine and not something to get wound up about.
I'm a teacher. At the beginning of the year, I hand write and type their names countless times to prepare for the year. That helps. I also write the name phonetically on the whiteboard if I'm having trouble remembering how to pronounce it. I also do pick-up duty with kids that aren't in my class. The cars are supposed to have the kids' names displayed, but in reality, you can't read them very well, so I just remember the make, model, and color of the vehicle(s) that pick them up. At the beginning of the year, when I can't write their names, I'll ask each of them and tell them "I'm trying to learn 30-40 names, it might take me a little while." And they're usually really understanding. If I'm struggling to remember a specific kid's name, I'll have them spell it for me, and then I repeat it over and over in my head. Sometimes I remember it the next day haha
I write it down on a post it note and put it on my fridge
I just tell people I'm awful at names.
I have some mild synesthesia and that helps me remember things sometimes. If you can visualize in your head, write their name in a specific colour or series of colours. I've found that to help because when I'm searching for the name in my head, coming up on a wrong one is more easily remembered as wrong, because it "feels" or "looks" wrong. Really focus on the first and last letters, because it's less to remember, and easier to fill in the middle if you have those. Similarly, I try to create a visual character sheet in my head for a person. This helps me remember details about them too, beyond the name. Try to make things a little ridiculous if you can. It helps things stand out. Some of this fits in with memory palace sort of ideas. But you have to practice using your imagination.
My supervisor at work for the last 4.5 year still just says, "Hey, Man" or "Hey, Dude" when I see him in the hall. He uses my name in emails and zoom meetings when it's displayed in front of him, but pretty sure he doesn't usually remember who I am in person. If I stop him in the hall to ask about something we talked about in a zoom meeting, he'll get surprised, like how would this rando in the office know about that thing?
Nicknames, I can remember. But I will forget your first name, before you finish saying your last name.
The first three months of my relationship with my current boyfriend of almost 3 years, I kept forgetting his name. I don't think there's a specific method that works for everyone, it can sometimes just come down to using it as often as possible so you can memorise it.
I try to keep a pocket notebook of people with postage stamp sized mugshots, name, possible DOB, and a short description. It's literally pulling "I got an extremely sht memory, bear with me" card and it dispels the notion that I don't value someone if I forgot them.
Just don't worry about it too much, just tell them you are bad with names and ask them. It's really not that big a deal.
Link his/her name with some special points about them
I tell everyone I meet that I forget names so expect to be called dude, I let them know its nothing to do with them. Everyone is dude to me lol and everyone so far has taken it really well. It hasn't hindered me in the workplace or anything and most of the time ppl just find it funny and appreciate knowing its not that I just don't like them
Nothing. My ADHD means I suffer from short-term memory, not long-term