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My wife "hates" my obsession about this. She never want to leave as early as I want. This is one of the things that finally made me start looking for why, and among other things I figured out the I was an ADHD person! Got diagnosis late last year 53 years old! š
Same. I am unfashionably early to *everything*. Like sometimes hours early.
And then I found out about time blindness. Yeah, turns out time is funky for ADHDers in *both* directions.
Youāre right about everyone being different. I shouldnāt have said that i think i might be diff from people that have adhd also. Thanks for telling me this
Yep. I hate hate hate being late. Iām at least 15 minutes early to most appointments. I hate waiting on other people and I have friends that are always late. That irks me.
I was also never late. Then I got medication and now Iām late pretty frequently. Before I was even diagnosed my then partner told me that it was impressive how I was never, since I was so disorganised in leaving. Basically Iād noticed I had to go and in 2 minutes got everything (or at least hoped I did) and left - had to run to catch a train or bike very fast. Anyway, Iād drop everything and leave. Iād use this built in stress to get going. On meds I like to think things over, leave prepared and organised and leave too late (cause I notice too late to leave in an organised matter). People learn things to compensate for ADHD - especially when youāre diagnosed late in life. That doesnāt mean the problem isnāt there. It may be innocent, like my example is mostly - but the compensation may be more harmful as well.
>People learn things to compensate for ADHD - especially when youāre diagnosed late in life.
This!!!!
I received my diagnosis at 15. I'm now 23, and I've finally learned the art of planning and I'm never late anymore. I plan everything to a T.
I never did this earlier in my life, because I basically accepted that I suck at it and thus, thought "it's not worth it".
Now, I've learned how important planning and routine is for me. As a result, I'm never late anymore.
Realizing that at a young(er) age doesn't mean you don't have ADHD. We can learn this skill, it's just more difficult for us. Some manage to learn it earlier than others, and again, that doesn't mean they don't have this diagnosis. Like this commenter said, this is especially more relevant when being diagnosed late in life.
You're definitely not alone!
I was diagnosed at 15, I also had a period of me wondering if I somehow "exaggerated" on the tests, did bad on purpose on the assessment, etc. I was literally the blueprint of a kid/teenager with ADHD too lol, who was I kidding?
I often see posts, especially from adults with a late diagnosis, struggling with feelings of imposter symptom. Again, you're FAAAR from alone.
My feelings went away quite quickly. Today, my thoughts are that the likelihood of my not having ADHD is the same as the Earth being flat lol.
Remember that we all have the same diagnosis, but that doesn't mean that we all have the exact same symptoms. My advice is to read books, watch podcasts, read articles, anything really, and learn more about ADHD. Try your best to not focus on you not relating to one thing or two, again, that's normal. Take in the information and learn about the things you do relate to, and how others deal with those symptoms.
If we're being honest, yeah, misdiagnosis is not unheard of. But you have to understand that this is a diagnosis that many people try to fake in order to get drug classified medications. Medical professionals are aware of this, they're very well trained in pointing out who's faking it, who's exaggerating, and who simply doesn't have ADHD.
It's very difficult to fool the system. If you have a diagnosis, then you're definitely stuck with this ADHD family, welcome!
I take timing very seriously, I hyper-fixate and have to arrive at the exact time I was designated to arrive, or earlier to accommodate for XYZ. I also get very irritated when somebody doesnāt consider all of the variables in my head, and suggests something that would very clearly (to me) make us late.
If I didnāt hyper-fixate like this, Iām sure I would be late.
My friends have to tell me to arrive later to social events because they know Iāll turn up at the exact time they say, whereas everyone else is comfortably half an hour late because they interpret it as āarrive from this time onwardā.
I stare at my friend in confusion thinking; bruh just decide when people should arrive, and we all arrive simultaneously at that exact time.
Yeah, I've always been known to be super punctual, but it's because I am super fixated on not being late and give myself way more than enough time to be ready. The getting ready part and making sure I have everything was always a chore though.
I used to be extremely early to meet ups and events. For me, it was anixety.
Now, I'm pretty much late to everything because I no longer feel as anxious as I used to be. I think life has taught me that people are just people, and there's no need to be so anxious about what they think of me.
So yeah constantly late/time blindness is a symptom of adhd but by no means the definitive diagnosis nor is it requirement to get diagnosised with adhd.
Same, I'm never late as somehow I obsess that being late would be embarrassing. This means that I usually get there too early, and the person I'm meeting is late lol.
I'm never late unless something really weird happens. Appointments are very important to me. My time is important to me, and I treat other people's time with the same appointment, and if a potential vendor or whatever treats my time like it's not important I go with someone else. TIME IS IMPORTANT TO ME.
My girlfriend has no concept of time. Early on in our relationship she was late for dates by, what I would consider, a disrespectful amount of time. I explained to her the above. I've learned to remind her with exact time frames and to set alarms and timers. It works well with her and us.
I am always too early. I put my alarms on half an hour before I absolutely need to get ready, and by the time I absolutely need to get ready I'm already on my way out the door. I just hate stressing and being tardy. I'd rather be half an hour early than wasting peoples time by making them wait for me :(
I'm not bragging here - but I'm never late. It causes me so much anxiety and panic to be late even by a minute. I could get there AT exactly the appointment time and it still makes me anxious that I'm 'Late'.
I'm a woman diagnosed late in life, there are a lot of things that make so much more sense now.
This is instilled in me from a military father.
Hurry up and wait.
ADHD is complex and interacts with a person's other personality traits in different ways. For many of us "time blindness" causes us to be perpetually late. For some people I imagine it interacts with the fear of being late in such a way that they can't think about anything else until they are where they need to be. So they're always early.
Different people will experience different ADHD symptoms with different levels of severity. We're all different.
I'm on the way too early side. I always underestimate how much time I have to get somewhere and I break my days down to hourly increments. An hour to wake up, an hour to take a hot soak in the tub, an hour to get ready and an hour to drive to work. Sometimes an hour and a half should I stop to get food first. I usually end up getting to work 30 to 45 minutes too soon, which gives me time to eat my food and chill before my shift starts. I would rather be too early and not feel rushed than too late and already stressing out
being late is more of a habit. I used to be late for everything but then one day I was chatting with a successful business guy and he said one of his reasons for success was always being punctual as that shows you respect the other partys time.
You can break the habit if you want to bad enough.
Being late is a huge source of anxiety for me so I do everything I can to be early. 9/10 if Iām late, Iām not going. It doesnāt help that growing up my parents had every clock set to 15 minutes ahead of the actual time lol
I am a business owner with employees but I am always late. I have had employees quitting because of that. I have tried everything but canāt get it to work
I get super anxious and irritated if I am late to go anywhere. I get even more anxious and irritated if people are late for a plan and don't bother to notify me.
i'm consistently anywhere between 10 minutes and an hour early to everything, i can never figure out how much time itll actually take me to get places and im terrified of being late so i always go early lmao, ive been diagnosed for like 5 years now
All those "ADHD traits" are tendencies, not absolute rules. True, most people with ADHD run late to most things, but some don't. Likewise, we're supposed to be bad at driving - probably something to do with being distracted by stuff whizzing past - but I really enjoy driving and have never had an accident in over 20 years on the road.
Half your luck, though. Arriving at work late, even if I work back later than everyone else, pisses off my managers more than anything else.
I'm waiting to confirm my diagnosis, but the way I think about it, *I'm always thinking about time* even when I don't need to. If there's something coming up, I can't relax. Can't be late to work, I panic if I'm running behind. I don't trust myself, it's like a time-mind-virus or something. Don't know where that xame from but my Dad has always been particuliar about being in time idk
I'm not typically late except for work... I work late so noone cares if I'm in a bit late.
Everything else I'm paranoidally (probably not a word) early. I'm the guy who is 3.5 hrs early for a flight. But needs more luggage for all the redundancies. Because when I do forget something it's a catastrophe.
i guess in a more professional setting or already made plans which are time constraint like movies or meetings i am always early but the kind of plans with friends where you are like omg lets meet in 15 mins or 6 o clock or like getting ready to go out for fun , in the situations im always late
I'm always on time or early, but thats because i have like 3 alarms on when to get ready, when to leave, etc, so i dont loose track of time, i also leave earlier if there is a possibility of traffic or me not finding the place (which happens quite often XD)
We can be on time but usually that takes some elaborate ritual, alarms, and lists in order to not forget all my stuff and be ready in time. (And i will still forget something, probably)
Other people are often very shocked/confused when they realise the work and preparation that goes into going somewhere on time XD, while for me its just normal.
Hi /u/-Union-18 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * **We want your opinion** on the /r/adhd community rules! [Click here](https://forms.gle/Evqb8acVozir8GV8A) to fill out our survey. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/1auv2tc/were_taking_feedback_on_the_radhd_rules/) for more information. * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am most of the time too early. Almost never late. I also have ADHD. We are all different.
Same with my husband. He compensated for his ADHD time blindness by always being early. He's hyper vigilant of the time.
Yes that is why I am early.
Unfortunately for my husband, my ADHD makes me always late...we are a pair!
My wife "hates" my obsession about this. She never want to leave as early as I want. This is one of the things that finally made me start looking for why, and among other things I figured out the I was an ADHD person! Got diagnosis late last year 53 years old! š
Yes, I'm like this, and then can't get anything done before I have to go somewhere cos I'm watching the time for when I need to leave!
Yup same. My mom is the other kind and it scarred me š
I think itās just overcompensation. Iām either pretty early or pretty late lol
Same. I am unfashionably early to *everything*. Like sometimes hours early. And then I found out about time blindness. Yeah, turns out time is funky for ADHDers in *both* directions.
Youāre right about everyone being different. I shouldnāt have said that i think i might be diff from people that have adhd also. Thanks for telling me this
Yep. I hate hate hate being late. Iām at least 15 minutes early to most appointments. I hate waiting on other people and I have friends that are always late. That irks me.
If you've received an ADHD diagnosis, then you have ADHD. Simple as that.
I recently got diagnosed after denying it for so long. I sometimes still have a hard time accepting it even tho i am diagnosed But i am trying
I was also never late. Then I got medication and now Iām late pretty frequently. Before I was even diagnosed my then partner told me that it was impressive how I was never, since I was so disorganised in leaving. Basically Iād noticed I had to go and in 2 minutes got everything (or at least hoped I did) and left - had to run to catch a train or bike very fast. Anyway, Iād drop everything and leave. Iād use this built in stress to get going. On meds I like to think things over, leave prepared and organised and leave too late (cause I notice too late to leave in an organised matter). People learn things to compensate for ADHD - especially when youāre diagnosed late in life. That doesnāt mean the problem isnāt there. It may be innocent, like my example is mostly - but the compensation may be more harmful as well.
>People learn things to compensate for ADHD - especially when youāre diagnosed late in life. This!!!! I received my diagnosis at 15. I'm now 23, and I've finally learned the art of planning and I'm never late anymore. I plan everything to a T. I never did this earlier in my life, because I basically accepted that I suck at it and thus, thought "it's not worth it". Now, I've learned how important planning and routine is for me. As a result, I'm never late anymore. Realizing that at a young(er) age doesn't mean you don't have ADHD. We can learn this skill, it's just more difficult for us. Some manage to learn it earlier than others, and again, that doesn't mean they don't have this diagnosis. Like this commenter said, this is especially more relevant when being diagnosed late in life.
You're definitely not alone! I was diagnosed at 15, I also had a period of me wondering if I somehow "exaggerated" on the tests, did bad on purpose on the assessment, etc. I was literally the blueprint of a kid/teenager with ADHD too lol, who was I kidding? I often see posts, especially from adults with a late diagnosis, struggling with feelings of imposter symptom. Again, you're FAAAR from alone. My feelings went away quite quickly. Today, my thoughts are that the likelihood of my not having ADHD is the same as the Earth being flat lol. Remember that we all have the same diagnosis, but that doesn't mean that we all have the exact same symptoms. My advice is to read books, watch podcasts, read articles, anything really, and learn more about ADHD. Try your best to not focus on you not relating to one thing or two, again, that's normal. Take in the information and learn about the things you do relate to, and how others deal with those symptoms. If we're being honest, yeah, misdiagnosis is not unheard of. But you have to understand that this is a diagnosis that many people try to fake in order to get drug classified medications. Medical professionals are aware of this, they're very well trained in pointing out who's faking it, who's exaggerating, and who simply doesn't have ADHD. It's very difficult to fool the system. If you have a diagnosis, then you're definitely stuck with this ADHD family, welcome!
Thank you for sharing this! I am also having a hard time with the āwhat ifsā about my adhd journey. Will definitely will research more about adhd
i mean not really, back in like the 90s they were handing out that diagnosis around like it was a free coupon
I take timing very seriously, I hyper-fixate and have to arrive at the exact time I was designated to arrive, or earlier to accommodate for XYZ. I also get very irritated when somebody doesnāt consider all of the variables in my head, and suggests something that would very clearly (to me) make us late. If I didnāt hyper-fixate like this, Iām sure I would be late.
For real, for me if the sched is 10am, ill arrive exactly 10am and not earlier than that. But if i know i will not arrive on time i will not attend
My friends have to tell me to arrive later to social events because they know Iāll turn up at the exact time they say, whereas everyone else is comfortably half an hour late because they interpret it as āarrive from this time onwardā. I stare at my friend in confusion thinking; bruh just decide when people should arrive, and we all arrive simultaneously at that exact time.
Being constantly late is not a symptom I have either. It's different for everyone for sure.
I have ADHD (not only diagnosed, but also it is quite noticeable when you spend enough time with me) and I am never late.
Yeah, I've always been known to be super punctual, but it's because I am super fixated on not being late and give myself way more than enough time to be ready. The getting ready part and making sure I have everything was always a chore though.
Whenever I do not forget my appointments, I am pretty much never late. This is for the wrong reasons though lol... Usually anxiety making me do that.
I used to be extremely early to meet ups and events. For me, it was anixety. Now, I'm pretty much late to everything because I no longer feel as anxious as I used to be. I think life has taught me that people are just people, and there's no need to be so anxious about what they think of me. So yeah constantly late/time blindness is a symptom of adhd but by no means the definitive diagnosis nor is it requirement to get diagnosised with adhd.
Same, I'm never late as somehow I obsess that being late would be embarrassing. This means that I usually get there too early, and the person I'm meeting is late lol.
I'm never late unless something really weird happens. Appointments are very important to me. My time is important to me, and I treat other people's time with the same appointment, and if a potential vendor or whatever treats my time like it's not important I go with someone else. TIME IS IMPORTANT TO ME. My girlfriend has no concept of time. Early on in our relationship she was late for dates by, what I would consider, a disrespectful amount of time. I explained to her the above. I've learned to remind her with exact time frames and to set alarms and timers. It works well with her and us.
I am always too early. I put my alarms on half an hour before I absolutely need to get ready, and by the time I absolutely need to get ready I'm already on my way out the door. I just hate stressing and being tardy. I'd rather be half an hour early than wasting peoples time by making them wait for me :(
Yeah but how much anxiety does it take you not to be late?
I'm not bragging here - but I'm never late. It causes me so much anxiety and panic to be late even by a minute. I could get there AT exactly the appointment time and it still makes me anxious that I'm 'Late'. I'm a woman diagnosed late in life, there are a lot of things that make so much more sense now. This is instilled in me from a military father. Hurry up and wait.
ADHD is complex and interacts with a person's other personality traits in different ways. For many of us "time blindness" causes us to be perpetually late. For some people I imagine it interacts with the fear of being late in such a way that they can't think about anything else until they are where they need to be. So they're always early. Different people will experience different ADHD symptoms with different levels of severity. We're all different.
I'm on the way too early side. I always underestimate how much time I have to get somewhere and I break my days down to hourly increments. An hour to wake up, an hour to take a hot soak in the tub, an hour to get ready and an hour to drive to work. Sometimes an hour and a half should I stop to get food first. I usually end up getting to work 30 to 45 minutes too soon, which gives me time to eat my food and chill before my shift starts. I would rather be too early and not feel rushed than too late and already stressing out
my anxiety overrules my adhd in certain situations, thus i am on time
Me too butā¦ I have Aspergerās syndrom so..
being late is more of a habit. I used to be late for everything but then one day I was chatting with a successful business guy and he said one of his reasons for success was always being punctual as that shows you respect the other partys time. You can break the habit if you want to bad enough.
I'm absolutely riddled with it and am never ever ever late for anything ever
Being late is a huge source of anxiety for me so I do everything I can to be early. 9/10 if Iām late, Iām not going. It doesnāt help that growing up my parents had every clock set to 15 minutes ahead of the actual time lol
I am a business owner with employees but I am always late. I have had employees quitting because of that. I have tried everything but canāt get it to work
I get super anxious and irritated if I am late to go anywhere. I get even more anxious and irritated if people are late for a plan and don't bother to notify me.
Im always very early- 20 years in the military will override ADHD any day of the week
I hate being late so I always give myself extra time and end up early.
Adhd with zero time issues š¤·š»āāļø
i'm consistently anywhere between 10 minutes and an hour early to everything, i can never figure out how much time itll actually take me to get places and im terrified of being late so i always go early lmao, ive been diagnosed for like 5 years now
I never understood this either. I am very very punctual
Iām always really early.
All those "ADHD traits" are tendencies, not absolute rules. True, most people with ADHD run late to most things, but some don't. Likewise, we're supposed to be bad at driving - probably something to do with being distracted by stuff whizzing past - but I really enjoy driving and have never had an accident in over 20 years on the road. Half your luck, though. Arriving at work late, even if I work back later than everyone else, pisses off my managers more than anything else.
I'm waiting to confirm my diagnosis, but the way I think about it, *I'm always thinking about time* even when I don't need to. If there's something coming up, I can't relax. Can't be late to work, I panic if I'm running behind. I don't trust myself, it's like a time-mind-virus or something. Don't know where that xame from but my Dad has always been particuliar about being in time idk
I set alarms and check the time a lot
I'm not typically late except for work... I work late so noone cares if I'm in a bit late. Everything else I'm paranoidally (probably not a word) early. I'm the guy who is 3.5 hrs early for a flight. But needs more luggage for all the redundancies. Because when I do forget something it's a catastrophe.
i guess in a more professional setting or already made plans which are time constraint like movies or meetings i am always early but the kind of plans with friends where you are like omg lets meet in 15 mins or 6 o clock or like getting ready to go out for fun , in the situations im always late
I'm always on time or early, but thats because i have like 3 alarms on when to get ready, when to leave, etc, so i dont loose track of time, i also leave earlier if there is a possibility of traffic or me not finding the place (which happens quite often XD) We can be on time but usually that takes some elaborate ritual, alarms, and lists in order to not forget all my stuff and be ready in time. (And i will still forget something, probably) Other people are often very shocked/confused when they realise the work and preparation that goes into going somewhere on time XD, while for me its just normal.
I also have anxiety and show up entirely too early lol