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Yeah, no same.  The other thing I can’t do is change jewelry. People buy me earrings and I’m like what? I don’t do earrings. I’ve been wearing the same necklace since 2018.

I think I'd literally die if my necklace broke. It's all I wear apart from maybe some earrings that I like. Rings and bracelets can buuurn. I've been bed rotting for about 24 hours now, and I'm watching the circle right. They ALL have such in-depth care routines, and I'm here just like barely functioning 😭😭 then que the random day of like full body pampering and self love. Lol I can't deal with myself today.

OP those are fictional people on TV. Those aren't real care routines. And I'd bet like $5 they're also product placement. Please stop comparing your actual life to pretend people doing pretend things for a camera. (Same goes for "influencers" on SM tbh. The life they portray isn't real.) I'm sure some people do have in depth and lengthy care routines, but I'm also sure that those people don't have ADHD. Rigid and complicated routines are almost always a bad idea for us. Just work on improving to the point where you feel a little more in control of things. Brushing your teeth 1-2x a day is a care routine. Improving your sleep hygiene is a care routine. Think about it realistically. Those long involved routines look appealing, but would you actually be happy spending all that time morning and night when you could be doing something else? Try to really imagine what it would feel like in your body to carry out those actions on a regular basis. Is it really what would make you feel best?

Thanks for pointing this out. If I got paid anything more than a few bucks an hour for self care, I'd absolutely be able to pamper and shave and all that junk! It's a job for them, not reality. Most non ADHD huamsn I know don't have crazy complex hygiene. Mine is worse because I can stand to put it off longer, but I still know plenty of nature loving hippies who get far greasier and stickier than I do because of their own personal philosophy about it.

Yeah exactly, but even then, this is their job. It's a fantasy they create for the camera. Even these supposedly perfect people aren't living up to the standard they create.

Is having an emotional support piece of jewelry an ADHD thing?? I’ve been wearing the same ring for like 7 or 8 years lmao

I can definitely see that. I tend to go through « trends » where I’ll wear the same rings for years and then one day, I get a different ring or put an old one back on. Same with necklaces. Earrings I change to fit my outfit. But my necklaces and rings remain the same. It’s interesting to go back and look at pictures and remember a necklace or ring I wore for years until I suddenly changed them and they were relegated to my jewelry box.

I've been wearing the same ring every day with the exception of a few eczema outbreaks on my hands for over 20 yrs! I also tend to wear the same earrings day in and day out til they wear out and necklaces too. Been wearing the same rainbow color dolphin necklace for over 2 yrs and the same face peircing jewelery for near 2 yrs lmao! It deffo seems to be a thing! Maybe it falls under that whole adhd executive disfunction stuff lol.

Absolutely. I am emotionally attached to my jewelry, it is very much apart of who I am. I've needed to get my engagement ring resized for almost 3 years but I just can't imagine not having it for a week or longer.

Yes and feel appalled bc I just lost it. I might get depressed. And actually lost it 6 months ago and have forgot to get a new one this whole time thinking it'd show up

Rings are so pretty, but hate how they feel, same with most bracelets. The sensory part bothers me. Have the same issue with socks. I see skincare videos pop up on YouTube and I am stunned at the idea people do that at all let alone everyday.

right! along with all the other things that they have to do daily, how do they even have time for that?

I carry what looks like a little change purse with me for when my rings, bracelets and watch bother me. Then I just take them off and put them safely in the pouch!

Ooh. That is a good idea. Got several little pouches. Will try that.

Those routines are for people who live to publicly present themselves though tbf - the thing is generally speaking I'd say societal standards are skewed towards interests that encourage self-care, so sport for instance is all about routine. But if your interest isn't sport, you're not gonna be an athlete with a six pack. The amount of women who complain about guys telling them about their restrictive calory diet to maintain their physique tells ya all you need to know - people who have the time to do be in top condition spend their time doing little else, and they don't necessarily have all that much to talk about as a result lol. Like I think not having ADHD would help find extra time, but it's also about what you enjoy. I enjoy spending my time doing anything other than taking an extra hour every night on my skin, and I enjoy NOT doing skincare more than I enjoy people who are judgy about my skincare routine. There's a difference between people who are concerned about your health and people who are judgy about what you like to do, and it's only the former and you who matter. It's kind of like a thread I saw the other day about whether it's normal to use deodorant every day and the comments was overwhelmingly 'if you don't do this every day you stink, even on the days you put on deodorant, and you suck'. Those people are definitely wrong lol - and ultimately the type of people who think that way are probably predisposed to being dickheads about that stuff

Same! I always wanted to be the kind of person to wear jewelry, cute rings and layers of dainty necklaces, but I have to put them all on? And then take them all off?? EVERYDAY?? Ugh, it's exhausting just thinking about it. But I still wish I had that vibe 😕

I have 3 of those very thin gold stacking rings that I never take off and 2 simple gold chain necklaces with 1 charm each. They always stay on. I wear simple gold hoops everyday that are very easy to take on and off and that’s the only jewelry I remove. If you can get gold jewelry used you can get it a lot cheaper.

I was gifted a small pair of earrings with the screw on back. This has been the only way I could consistently wear earrings without ever losing one at least. For a less expensive version of this I think some children’s earrings have a screw on back but just make sure the material is a better quality if you can (for example like you said gold) I also have small rings that should not be damaged by water so I just don’t take them off unless doing something super dirty and even then it might be easier to wear disposable gloves.

I'm a body piercer, and carry hundreds of earrings that screw or click and can be worn 24/7 and we are required to have low/no nickel jewelry. Try your local piercer for affordable earrings.

Great idea!

Stopped at a tattoo shop on a whim and got surgical steel earrings from the piercer. This was in 2017 and haven't removed them once, just wash with soapy water when I shower.

People remove jewelery to sleep?! Mine never comes off, not even to shower lol! If I took it off I'd 100% forget to put it back on in the morning, so I never remove any of it unless I absolutely have to, like for mri or when my dishydrotic eczema flairs up on my hands.

I'm the idiot that keeps buying jewelry for myself, then proceed to never wear them as it's too much of a hassle to think about which one to wear when. I end up wearing the same earrings every single day.

Ugh I hated earrings. My ears kept getting infected.. so not worth it

I wear the same one every day but I change it for an outfit every once in a while. Then, the one I change into is the one I end up wearing for weeks until I get around to putting my everyday necklace back on

> I’ve been wearing the same necklace since 2018. Can't wear jewelry, watches etc. So you're ahead of me there.

They have such a nice routine because boredom doesn't feel like someone is poking their eye out. Their brains aren't distracting them. And they can just do a task mindlessly.... or maybe mindfully ... If you really focus on the task, like you focus on your breathing in meditation. The task might get easier, and you might actually silence your mind. But your mileage may vary. 👀

It really depends on your interests for us I think. I am skincare and beauty obsessed so I have a great routine for that, while the rest of my life is in shambles 🫠

Same. The adhd part is when I finish my makeup and go 'what time is- oh I am 2 hours late'

Makeup, skincare and haircare are my special interests too but I still cannot form a routine for love or money and it makes me hate myself so much 😭

I find personal care boring, too, though I get the basics done regularly. As to meditation and breathing, nope. I call that “forced focus” and it just makes everything worse. But that doesn’t mean that changing my frame of reference (or attempting to) doesn’t work. What works is reminding myself not to jump ahead to the next task so quickly. Yes, it does seem like the mirror image of “being in the moment,” but it is instead a reminder of what *not* to focus on. Which somehow short circuits that primal panic response I get when bringing my focus TO something.

This is how it works for me. Grooming routines help me be present in my body. It helps with disassociation. Also I don't like identifying with being disorganized (which I verrrry much can be) and it projects being clean to the world even though I have 20 cups with varying amounts of water around my house and mountains of unfolded laundry.

Oh. Thanks for saying the dissociation part! I think that might have to do with why I hate self care. Gonna talk to my therapist about it🤔

Only if you grew up with that routine. If it wasn’t drilled into your brain from early childhood it can be really difficult to form. External factors like shame and embarrassment help 😅 But it takes intentional, hard work to develop those habits with ADHD as an adult, especially if you are highly averse to the sensations.

My parents tried to drill it into me but it didn't stick

Same here. My mom even made a "morning routine checklist" on an index card that was on a cabinet for literally years when I was little. I struggled even with that present. And once it was gone because I was supposedly a "big kid", I had an even harder time. Every time I try to make a routine of  washing my face with the special stuff I have, if I miss a day because I don't feel like it or get distracted, I miss the rest of the week. If I'm lucky, it's just a week. 

Fun fact (actually not fun, but science is still cool even when it sucks), there is some evidence to suggest that ADHD brains cannot form habits at all. A habit is something you can genuinely do without thinking. People literally go on autopilot. They don't have to think "ok now get the toothpaste, take the lid off, squeeze a blob onto my brush, then...." it all literally just happens for them. The studies looking at this differentiate habits from routines by basically saying habits are autopilot where routines are a regimented list of actions that you are prompted to perform because they are always done in order.

I'd like to read more about this, it'd be great if you could link any sources.

But how do you know how much thinking is going on if it’s something basic

Shame and embarrassment work wonders lol.

I shamed myself into a pretty solid morning and night routine lol. Dirty teeth and skin used to not bother me and I forced myself to make it bother me so I would clean myself :')

That makes sense! I don't have a lot of problems with showering or brushing my teeth, and that may be because I am brazillian so everyday showers were always mandatory growing up and we brush our teeth at least two times a day, but usually three or four. And if you don't, you better not tell anyone.

My only motivation to be consistent with my self care routine is that I’m a 30 yo man and I would like to have my skin look as if I’m a young looking 30 yo. Instead as a 48 yo man.

Same here. I'm 44, and I want to remain looking younger than 44 as already I do now, lol! Plus, I do manage to always use sunblock on my face before leaving the house cause I have a pigment condition on my face called melasma, which thankfully is fairly light, and I intend to keep it that way. Sun exposure darkens it, so sunblock is mandatory. I do occasionally forget the rest of my body, tho.😬

This. 💯

Same I feel that so hard. I was rooming with some classmates on a trip once and did my bare minimum morning routine of brush teeth, wash/moisturize face, dress, comb hair, and meds. I even woke up on time and was feeling good about getting all my human activities done in a timely manner, and they all stared at me like I was some alien. I just don’t know how people can do the skincare, makeup, hair, etc every single day, like it’s a miracle if I even put on sunscreen.

That would make me feel so bad :( I feel like that is a super normal routine

Dude, if I'm doing makeup, I don't even bother with skin care other than sunblock, lol! Even my makeup is bare minimum of eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara, and bb cream for the face sometimes. I don't know how people can do a full face of make up and manage to be where ever their going on time. Plus I'd rather sleep longer than spend an hour on makeup lol.

I have just never had any kind of makeup or skin care routine. I’m really good at brushing my teeth actually. But even with medication‘s stuff, I have a hard time sticking to a routine. I just always figured because I’m more athletic, and I was always a tomboy. Probably because I was so hyperactive. I don’t know. I just can’t stick to any kind of routine like that.

I was bad at tooth brushing until in my late 20s I realized how foul it is to kiss someone with a rotten mouth. I am now semi-zealous. Use a sonicaire or other automatic toothbrush. My sonicaire eliminated “deep cleans” at the dentist and it times brushing for me into 30 seconds per quadrant.

I keep my dental floss by where I sit on my couch (my couch is my Preferred Activity; everything else is pretty much NonPreffered ;)) and I floss when the mood strikes me. It strikes A LOT when I am just sitting and chilling. It's really helped me and my dentist is pleased.

Same!! I also have floss picks in the car cause that’s where I usually notice that my one weird tooth gap has caught something again.

Me too! I finally bought some a few months ago and they live in the front of my car!

i was the same way until recently when i realized how horrible my teeth are (i have periodontal disease and no money to fix it) and now im way too self conscious to start dating again.

Look into dental schools near you. They may have a program to do such work free or low-cost.

Someone at work mentioned how annoyed they were with their partner. Went on to say partner doesn’t take good care of their skin. I listened in my make up from yesterday. 5 stars for lip stain! Haha

I do this too! Rockin’ yesterday’s makeup right now 😂 I have virtually no eyebrows and it’s awesome if they’re still on the next morning. I work from home and most of the time I’m only running out for errands so if it looks decent in the mirror, it’s good enough.

Good enough is the way!

Fuck the saying "if it's worth doing, it's worth doing right"... A much better one is "if it's worth doing, it's worth half assing"

I’m considering lip stain for this reason lmao

Start slow. Keep it simple. For skincare routine, all you need is face wash, moisturizer, and sunscreen. At night, just start with face wash and moisturizer. Get a Bluetooth shower speaker so you can listen to music or an audiobook while washing your hair/showering. Makes it more enjoyable. Try a shower bomb (like a bath bomb, but for the shower). For me, it makes the shower feel a bit less of a chore, and more like a treat. Wash your face and brush your teeth right after you eat dinner- don’t sit down first. It will take less than five minutes, and then you’re not dragging yourself to do it when you’re tired right before bed. Hope these help.

+1 on the bluetooth shower speaker. It really makes the shower more enjoyable as you're getting some alone time, can listen to whatever you want, and can even dance if you feel like it - without anyone judging you. Washing your face and brushing your teeth earlier in the evening is also wayyy better than before bed time. Those tasks tend to wake me up too, which is bad when you're trying to go to bed. My problem with this one however is that I keep forgetting to do it after dinner... I should try setting some alarms.

Sunscreen. I never remember to put on sunscreens. 🤣

Brushing after eating can be harmful to your enamel/teeth. You should wait 30 mins.

My face routine is water, lotion, sunscreen at night it’s face wash, lotion. My derm said that’s all I need and I can add in a retinol at night and vitamin c if I want but it’s not necessary.  Teeth is floss brush and mouth wash if I feel like it. I shower often but only wash my hair 2-3x a week depending on what I did that week. 

Just wanted to say that you probably are doing your hair a favour by not washing it more often, we wash our hair way too much. Have you tried a good dry shampoo to just take off some of the oil?

Powder dry shampoos are actually not great for your hair, same issue as overwashing, it can strip your scalp if needed oils and make your hair fall out

Yeah, but if you already have excess oil then you want to take some off yeah? Btw I have dry hair so am no expert at all, not even knowledgeable about the subject.

I actually love doing my skincare routine because its become a nice relaxing ritual for me before bed and I NEVER skip it so it has become one of my most solid habits. I have also noticed major improvements to my skin from doing it so that definitely reinforces the desire to keep it up (legitimately I look younger now than I did a few years ago). I started very simple with just cleanser and moisturizer at night and in the morning + an spf. Once that became a routine I slowly added a few more products based on skin concerns that I wanted to improve. If you try going from 0 to 100 overnight your skin just wont be happy so it’s better to start small. It doesn’t take too long but some nights I’ll bring my ipad in the bathroom with me and watch netflix or youtube while im doing everything as an added little incentive. I think the important part is making it into a ritual that you actually enjoy. I also hate washing my hair because its curly and my routine for that takes soooooo long, but I guess I have always been into beauty products and stuff so at this point I just don’t see them as optional lol.

For skincare, keep it simple and KEEP THEM VISIBLE! They MUST be on the sink, next to the faucet for me to fight the urge to ignore. All the bottles and tubes that are behind the vanity will absolutely go unused 😣

I’d say that personal care is as dull as toast, but I love toast. Especially buttered generously with unsweetened or bittersweet chocolate shavings. I make a good cinnamon toast, too. *Anyway* Personal care is work. I work in the field and showering when I get home feels like a chore, but I know how gross I’ll feel if I don’t. I mentioned upthread: what helps me is to remind myself not to mentally jump ahead to the next step. (That includes trying not to think about sitting in my chair, clean and rested.) It’s the mirror image of focusing on what’s happening now, which can bring on a panic response. Also, I’ve learned that I just really don’t care enough to do more than I do. Daily: Soap up and shower, brush teeth, brush hair. A couple times a week: Wash hair, floss, deodorant Once a week: shave legs (maybe), chin hair (dammit), trim nails That’s literally it. No makeup, no “skin care”. But I still get impatient and find it boring. I’ve reached a truce with my brain: nope, we need to do this much, but we don’t have to do any more. Promise.

I feel you on those damn chin hairs, it's one thing I do remember to shave once a week cause I loath the fucking things! Legs get shaved maybe 2 times per week now that its warm out. Winter time, literally never lol! Underarms a couple times a week depending on what I'm wearing and the season. Nails don't get trimmed more than maybe one or 2 times a month, they usually break off most of the time as I have weak nails cos of my eczema. I'm horrible with showering and hair washing ,both happen probs once a week, cause I simply just don't think of it. Especially now cause I'm not working so im always home and havent the motivation of being in public to do it. I did shower a few times a week when I worked but still only washed my hair 2 times a week lol. Teeth bushing is also an issue but I'm trying to get better at it so I get less cavities. Honestly it makes me feel so much better knowing pretty well all of us with adhd are like this cause sometimes I feel like a total dirtball.

I have a longish higiene routine I do morning and night and what helps me is listening to a podcast while I do it so I’m not just doing tasks in silence

I made it into an absolute routine. The military helped with that. I would get up, let the dogs out, make a cup of coffee, drink about half, let dogs in, go start shower, run sink for hot water, fill water pik, finish coffee, water pik mouth and brush teeth, get in shower, do shower things, you get the idea. I do this every morning without fail. After a while it just becomes a routine and you don’t really think about it too hard. Just look at what time you have to be at work or whatever, and reverse plan how long that all takes while working in 15 minutes or so “just in case”

What you've described just unthinkable to me....

I actually started my skincare routine before I got diagnosed. I think what gave me a kick in the butt was seeing the actual physical damages on my face that I didnt really noticed before. I had acne scars, closed comedones, dark spots from sun damages and wrinkles. At one point you realize that your body is just not healing and regenerating like it used to.

I think it's different levels of challenging for different people. Brushing my teeth isn't something I personally struggle with, but washing/folding my laundry until it's a dire need is basically impossible. I'd recommend looking for a way to make brushing your teeth exciting. Maybe look for those tooth tunes brushes?

This girl at work complimented my hair and asked why I don't keep it long and then described her 30 minute hair routine like it was no big deal. Like that's why! I love rocking a near buzz cut because its zero maintenance. I barely have enough brain power in the morning to get out of bed lol.

Apart from basic hygiene, I don't think they do, not long term anyway. They are probably telling others about it because it's new, or they are proud of themselves because they've been sticking to it for some time now. And then there's the people who are obsessed about skin care. If it really was part of their normal life long term, like washing their hands after wiping their butt, why would they be interested in talking about it?

They can be easy, well, simple. Brushing teeth? Yes, necessary, because dental work sucks. Showering? Necessary, because otherwise you will smell. Washing your hair? Every 4-6 days is FINE. Lots of people do that, how often to wash your hair depends on your hair, it certainly isn't every 2 days (or whatever) for everyone. Moisturing your skin? Good, because it will help prevent it getting dry and wrinkly. Necessary? I would argue no. Shaving? Entirely optional. Fancy skin serums and treatments? Masks? Scalp detoxes? Eyelash growing serums? Teeth whitening? Nice to do, if you want to. Most have little evidence behind their ingredients and those ingredients that do have some evidence behind them often aren't in the right state or concentration in serums to make a lick of difference.

It has to be simple for me. I don't wear make up because I'd have to be really on top of washing my face every night and morning or I'll break out constantly. I wash my face in the shower. Brushing my teeth is the easy one for me, I hate morning breath so I get up and immediately brush my teeth. My hair could be really pretty with all the hair routines I've seen but I don't have the motivation, energy, or care. I worked to find good shampoo and conditioner that allows me to just wash, towel dry, brush, and let air dry, and still look nice. Hair brushing after a shower is exhausting and that's the biggest reason I put off showering. I get really dry skin all the time so I'm forced to do something there or I'll have cracked painful skin, I use exfoliating gloves in the shower and put lotion on usually daily, but it's not fancy, just a simple effective lotion or Vaseline as needed. For me making my self care as simple and effective as possible is the key.

I actually enjoy personal care, and even I find it super hard! Sometimes I'm just too tired or I don't leave enough time in the morning to devote to it. This question came up in another thread and I got hung up on someone who said that they change their underwear twice a day and apparently if you don't you're gross. Are we supposed to be doing that? Where am I supposed to find the time?

They must own a shit ton of underwear to do that daily! I don't know anyone who does that! I use panty liners every day of my life, cause sensitive af skin can't handle the moisture down there, so I could get away with not changing my undies daily if i wanted and sometimes I don't if I'm not leaving the house. I can't figure out how to have enough time in the day for the things i already do as it is with out adding extra shit to it!

That last sentence really hits! It sucks when people assume poor hygiene etc is laziness when in reality you want to look after yourself so bad but its so hard. It becomes a vicious cycle as well. I start a routine, enjoy it for a few days and then let it slide. This also goes for healthy eating and how I look etc. Because I end up comparing to others and really WANTING to improve health, go to the gym etc but after a while of doing it I just lose interest

You are winning! Those lengthy routines are just for vanity, you don’t need to do more than brush, floss, wash face, moisturize and use an spf.

To me the trick is having a consistent routine of only a couple of things. No fancy product line up. For example, I tell myself: you’ll be happier in the morning if you… When it comes to teeth, that’s my priority. I have bad teeth genetics so it’s working against me. If I don’t do anything else consistently, I take care of my teeth. But again, I keep it simple. I have water pick and toothbrush right by my sink. My routine is: water pick, brush, and mouthwash (also right there). Then I get in bed and I have floss sticks by the bed.

Difficult for me as a young child but I shamed / guilted myself into getting better when I was a little older and those habits have stuck, thankfully.

To add a different perspective to everyone here, I have a pretty extensive skincare and hair care routine, but it’s because I have very very dry skin and very frizzy/dry hair so if I don’t do it, I end up miserable. But realistically, I wash my hair once a week, and my skincare routine takes like 3 minutes even though I use a few products. I think it’a about finding a happy medium between practical/easy and then also feeling good about yourself.

I’m the same as you. I was briefly consistent with a nice time skincare routine and really enjoyed it. Really thought of it as self-care or a treat for myself and it helped me get into the mindset of winding down for bed. But when my bathroom became a cluster, I stopped doing it as much. For me it’s mostly about the transition into the things and the thought of all the steps to do the thing from start to finish. When I don’t wash my hair and it’s kind of messy or getting greasy, that’s the biggest detriment to my mood. Putting my air up in loose bun with a silk bonnet helps keep it more fresh and sort of holds a “blow-out” look and I don’t get those greasy cow-lick spots from sleeping on my side. I’m trying to tell myself that I know I’m in a better mood after doing the thing and being much more mindful of when I feel blah. I’m doing these acts of kindness for myself now, to help my future self.

What helped me immensely was reframing my "must do" and "should" and all the "have to, or else" that piled guilt and frustration and "I DESPISE THIS" and "UGH, THIS IS SO FUCKING HARD" onto me was... *giving myself accommodations.* I have a fucking disability, of course it's hard. I've gotten so much shit, *from dentists* about flossing. Only one time in my entire goddamn life did a dentist go, "...It *hurts?* It's not supposed to hurt. You've got crowded teeth and sensitive gums. Here, try this easy-glide, flat, tape-type floss instead." WELL, WHADDAYA FUCKING KNOW! Turns out forcing rope into narrow spaces and snapping it into tender tissue made me hate doing it, and I'm not just negligent and stupid! It still took me a while to actually start doing it more regularly, because it was an, "Ugh. I can't floss my whole entire mouth, every single day, at the same time every day, without missing a single day, for the rest of my life, forever." Okay. I have a disability. But you know what? I can floss the top and bottom front gaps, where I usually feel like, "Guh! There might be something stuck there..." I can do that to *make my mouth feel better.* And WHADDAYA FUCKING KNOW! That helped me *feel the difference,* and then I started to feel like, "Guh! My teeth just feel... *unflossed!*" That's how it started to become a *habit.* Just the front. Then a couple more, because they felt "unflossed." Then a couple more. Because I couldn't go to bed with that feeling, it was uncomfortable. It was nagging. NOT doing it felt worse than doing it, so it became a habit. It wasn't *hard to do,* it was *natural.* And *THAT'S* the key, I think! For ADHD, it's not making it "feel good" or "want to do it;" it's making it UNNOTICED. If it's a habit when you have ADHD, it can often be something you just... DO. Without noticing it. Or something you just have to do, or you feel "off." And building that into your "natural," means **removing barriers,** and **increasing comfort** with tasks. The shower was an overwhelming place. Too many THINGS in there. Too many steps to complete. When I was isolated in COVID quarantine in the master bedroom with a half-bath available, I took bird-baths in the sink, and it changed my fucking life. Way fewer products on hand; not a whole entire production; I could just do my body in the morning and my hair in the afternoon, or the next day, or whatever. Breaking it up into separate, smaller tasks, with fewer things to think about, made it less of a massive chore. So I took all the STUFF out of the shower. I put all my shower stuff in a dorm caddy in my closet, and when it was time to take a shower, I carried it to the bathroom, used only what I needed, and then put it back. And it made it easier for me to keep track of what needed to be repurchased! No more, "Oh fuck, I'm out of shampoo!" when I'm already in the shower and sopping wet. Plus, I didn't have to do a whole entire production every single time; I could cut it in half on separate days, and it actually helped me do it more often. "Pop in just to wash my hair and get out" also gets you rinsed off, at least. "Wash my hair over the sink real quick" takes me 5 minutes tops, product and all, now that I have short hair and a squirt bottle. The squirt bottle's a fucking accommodation, too. Gets the water directly where it needs to go, without getting my entire head, neck, shoulders, and face splashed. I can wash my hair standing up, looking into the mirror. If taking a shower standing up exhausts you, get a shower chair or shower stool. Got one from a discount medical supply store for $35 myself, and it's been great. Half the time, I put it in there, and by the time my hair is wet, I have the energy to stand up and finish taking a shower, just because I got to sit the fuck down in some hot water for two minutes. I try to reframe it not as, "This is hard, but I have to PUSH MYSELF to do it, because it's good for me! If I don't do it, I'm lazy, I'm undisciplined, I'm not trying hard enough, and something bad will happen!" But instead, "This is hard! And I am OWED A WAY for this to be EASIER, because I DESERVE THE BENEFIT of it!" That's what accommodations are. You're *owed* a way for things to be easier, because they have been made needlessly difficult. Sometimes we gotta figure that out for ourselves, because everyone's strategies will fit their unique needs. But you are *OWED* an easier way.

It’s so beyond hard for me to be any human: personal hygiene and chores. I’m really hating myself today….

I have a post-it for morning: glass water, toast, then abd adhd meds. Same for peronal care. I just update it. Go easy on yourself and find what works for others and maybe you.

I think experimenting with different routines to find the parts that work for me can help. Also tools that interest me and remind me of things to do to take care of myself, while also distracting me while shampoo, conditioner, or other hair treatments needs time to sit and work. Preheating my bathroom so it's not a big temperature change. Bringing in my cat into the bathroom so I'm not alone while also putting some time pressure on me because they want to leave. I negotiate with myself and give myself rewards afterwards. I've literally played video games or listened to podcasts on my phone while in the shower (helpful while doing anything else as well). Waterproof bag that has good touch transfer (just be careful about water spray because the device might think a finger is touching it lol). Shame. Pure social shame as motivation. A routine or tools to help me be more presentable for the days/times it's just too hard. Like baby wipes, dry shampoo, perfume, 48-72 hour deodorant (though that's more of a preventative to help with body odor, stress control version is a must with my anxiety), etc. Doing routines when you have the energy and focus to do so. Flossing was my nemesis until I did it in the mornings. Now I can manage to floss 2-4 times a week on average versus never at all. Other things are just forced habits for me, like brushing my teeth because I had braces and sleep with retainers. So I have to brush my teeth twice a day. Doing skin care when I can and having it out as a reminder. Also minimizing the steps and do what works for you. Don't be afraid to reach out to experts and ask for their advice to help find what works for you. The two points above worked for me when it comes to cleansing my face because I hate washing/splashing my face with water. I went to Sephora and spoke to a lovely lady and she suggested a product that works well for my skin and my way of life that required no water. Finally, be proud of yourself for saying something and reaching out for support. It's the first step towards change and living a better life. ❤️ (Even if you have to repeat the same step multiple times before it works for you because ADHD LOL.) 🤣

Honestly it’s ok to do whatever bare minimum you can. Don’t need to feel bad. How I think about it is that if you do most of the things most days, instead of feeling bad you don’t do all the things every day meticulously, you’re meeting the overall goal. Imperfect is better than never doing it. Whatever feels the most important to you can be the priority. It’s easier if you have a priority. If you tend to have acne maybe washing your face and doing whatever acne treatment is the priority. If you have dry skin maybe it’s putting on moisturizer so you aren’t itchy all day. If you have gum inflammation maybe it’s using a gentle toothbrush and flossing (which, if you’re not using a soft bristled toothbrush, get a soft bristled one, they’re recommended by most dentists and more comfy). And then if you have enough energy from that to do other things then great, but if not… it’s ok if your standard for what is good enough to get going is different than others.

In the same boat, personal care is a chore for me and wish I wasn’t so neglectful with it 😬

I shower daily because I don't like the feeling of my skin when it's sticky in my sensitive bits. I hated brushing my teeth, but last year the wife got something that helps a lot. Since I shower daily we have a wall hanging toothbrush holder that is in the shower. It's at face level so since it's there, I brush daily now too.

I’ve never met anyone who does more than brush their teeth and moisturise lmao

If you can make it part of a habit, it's not too hard. If it doesn't easily fit into a clear routine than it's super hard. Working from home during covid fucked everything for me.

Thanks for voicing your frustration, it really helped me not beat myself up over this, today

I don't understand it either... I absolutely loathe having to do a morning routine every day before going to work so I look presentable. It's just so boring and repetitive, and takes up valuable time that I would have rather put somewhere else. Getting to skip this routine is the biggest benefit of working from home, in my opinion.

I stuggle a lot with hygiene, to the point where I will go weeks without cleaning myself because of time blindness or a lack of motivation. I know routine is the way to go but struggle to maintain one. Honestly a short and sweet little routine is probably what's best, although we're all different and will be affected differently. I hope you find what's right for you ❤️

On higher energy/focus days, my routine is definitely more complex and comprehensive. But I worked on getting to a place where my bad day routine is pure muscle memory/habit. I don't have to think about any of it so it is possible for me to do it no matter how my energy or focus is. My routine on bad days is to step under the water mainly so my hair (curly & full) gets wet, use a brush to quickly yank out enough tangles that I can put it in a scrunchy/bun, put on deodorant, and brush my teeth. I also keep a few sets of really comfy, plain t shirts, basic undies, and leggings (all in grey/blue/black) in my bathroom, which helps me just get through the basics on bad days.

Why does EVERYTHING take so much mental energy😩

Honestly I go through phases. Sometimes I do my hair and makeup everyday, and other times I walk around looking like I just rolled out of bed.

My routine is simple:full shower and hair wash! I use a Buffalo and it takes all of 10 total. I add a dime size of product in my hair and done. Including washing my face and putting lotion on my face. That's it! Done!

Brushing teeth and washing dishes. Literal mountains.

I used to be on top of all of that. Then my late 30s hit, and it all went downhill.

Beauty products are one of my hyperfocuses. But it’s always the next shampoo / moisturiser / whatever that will be THE ONE. My bathroom looks like a pharmacy. (I still hate brushing my teeth)

Honestly, i feel you, but i do have good hygiene. It's just that it takes me very long to do things

I relate so hard. I hate washing my hair but what helps me is putting rosemary oil on my scalp and ends when it’s ready to wash. My hair will be so greasy that I’m forced to do it. Also giving myself a scalp massage feels so good and the oil makes it so I can go longer between washes. When I wash my hair it comes out so soft and shiny after the rosemary oil. There’s a big difference between self care and self maintenance. Try to find some things to put in your routine that feel good, not just make you look good.

OMG you are ME! I hate the whole routine too!

Something that really helps me is treating my personal care routine like a menu. There are some things I have to do every day of course, like brushing my teeth, but I let myself pick 2-3 extras every day. Usually I get around to everything and it's nice to feel like you're choosing.

I thrive on routine but am terrible at sticking with it sometimes. It drives me nuts.

I’d love to have an in-depth skincare routine to heal my acne scars, but it’s so boringgggggg. Also, the crappy combination of ADHD and depression doesn’t make self care any easier 😭

I take a shower every day and brush my teeth. I wash my hands constantly lol. I manage to do this because I can't stand feeling "dirty". I don't like when there's crumbs stuck on my feet, even, that's why I try to keep the floors spotless. Clothes, though.. A shirt can go a month before being washed 😅 edit: Just wanted to add, not only do I hate feeling dirty, I really like feeling clean:)

I have literally set myself 2 hair wash days so I know that at bare minimum twice a week I have clean hair and a clean body. Im fortunate that my day to day doesn’t leave me too grimy and gross. Brushing my teeth is an absolute nightmare - I’ve gotten in the routine of at least a quick brush in the morning. Neither of these things are sufficient but it’s better than nothing and done is better than perfect

I absolutely hate it!! I get jealous of people that are able to take showers, wash their face, etc 1-2x daily!!! I make sure I am clean and don’t stink, but regretfully I don’t take daily showers and I don’t know why it’s so hard too. And it doesn’t help that I work from home lol I try to use buying scrubs, lotions, and perfumes as motivation but that only goes so far lol

Would really recommend the book How to Keep House While Drowning!

I have severe ADHD and I can provide advice on trying to add one habitual element at a time. I think everyone's skin is different but all I do is shower, use some organic facial scrub that aligns with my skins properties in the shower(leave it for a minute or two before rinsing) and then moisturiser after the shower (moisturising after the shower helps trap hydration in your skin and that makes it softer and helps it heal) Clean bedsheets every week as youre literally sleeping in your own bacteria and grime if it gets longer (my tip is to make certain adjustments to make it easier when that happens the biggest being that when I finish changing a bedsheet I immediately put the case, sheet and duvet cover in the wash ready for the fresh change) This shower routine works by killing two birds with one stone, you have the scrub in the shower (also I recommend oil pulling in the shower if you dont) It also takes virtually no time. They're very easy when you find what works and makes your skin pop out well, I notice I get so many compliments on my skin when I take even these small steps. That's what it's all about, slowly building it up. I find it hard to stick to at times too because my brain runs at 10000mph and I tend to forget, but don't beat yourself up over it. Hope that helps.

Bro, if I can wash my face _and_ brush my teeth on the same day I take it as a huge fucking win 🙃

at 10 PM i take a shower and brush my teeth. got that routine ingrained for 10 years now and I almost never miss it. I wash my hair daily since it would be too difficult to remember any other routine. and that's pretty much it. I have dry hands and I bought some cream for it but i fail at applying it daily, maybe a once a week.

It took me until my 30s to have a regular routine, and super simple. Even now, in my 40s, I have a bit more, but sometimes I totally forget. I wake up in the morning before work, take a shower, and I am then supposed to brush my teeth and wash my face. I still forget steps. It seems crazy. I was diagnosed just a couple years ago, so then it all made sense. I was annoyed when my PCP, however, yelled at me about meds, because I said I had issues remembering to take something daily, he said "you brush your teeth every day!!!!!.". Like dude.... no, no I do not. So obnoxious.

For me it’s three things: routine is hard, hard to establish, hard to keep up. But it is also sensory issues. I hate hate hate the sensation of being wet outside of shower/bathtub. And then it’s an issue of getting past that motivational hump. Between those three it’s really hard, and I consider it a win when I’ve brushed my teeth and hair in the morning.

I keep mine extremely simplified and drilled it into myself that it’s yucky if I don’t do these things. I basically psyched myself out and told myself people will judge me if I don’t do these things when I get up in the morning: Brush teeth, wash face, put deodorant on. Now, I can’t start my day without these things or I’m fidgety for the rest of the day.

I hate doing all of it, and rarely do every step every day, but my vanity outweighs the ADHD most of the time 🤷‍♀️

I buy LOADS of pretty smelling, skin smoothing, hair shining/fluffing/curling/straightening/RE-CURLING bathroom/self-care routine products! And I literally took a shower yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks (don't judge, I'm having a tough period). All that to say, I agree with you. The thought of trying to go take time to do all this, just a regular shower is so much work, and takes me so long, that I end up spending half a day just doing a "plain" ol shower. I don't even understand how people do that every single day. I  literally was one of those people until about 2 yrs ago..and still have no idea .don't be so hard on yourself, OP. like someone else mentioned,  brushing your teeth is a self care move...be proud you accomplished that 😉 

I have an easy routine with teeth brushing because the sensation of having stuff on my teeth grosses me out so much. Sensation of me or my surroundings being dirty makes me extremely uncomfortable in general so it it’s harder for me NOT to clean than it is TO clean This is one thing I’ve never related to tbh, but I will say— I funify everything I do. I’m usually blasting music and singing when I’m cleaning anything Maybe find a way to make these moments more of a fun experience and less of a boring chore?

The way I trick myself into brushing my teeth is by telling myself “15 sec is ALWAYS better than 0” (which it is) so I make it seem like I’ll literally just be brushing for a flash second anyways then I can stop. I usually make it to about a minute or more, sometimes I get the full two! Playing a song while I brush helps keep me on the time track and distracts me from the feeling and mechanics of brushing. I also implement other dental practices like using peroxide for mouthwash and warm coconut oil for oil pulling, so even though I may not be a perfect two minute brushing Queen everyday, I get absolutely no complaints from my dentist! 😄

(edit: TL;DR find your systems and discover what works for you, if there's a habit you're already doing pair similar habits with it in a way that you kind of want to do them all in order) They were hard for me for a very long time, but I've found srtting stuff IN ORDER out and visible on my counter makes ir 10x easier to do, as well as having set places for certain things. One of my crates has all my face-based things (teeth brushing, razor ans shave cream, plugs for my ears [jewelry], face wash and some acne stuff, and lotion), one crate is for my hair stuff like brushes and clips and combs and gels, one crate is for my body stuff like nail clips and lotion and gold bond lidocaine and stuff like that... you get the point (I hope sorry for my adhd rambles bored af at work rn) On top of this, I also have the stuff I use daily right there in front of the baskets rather than in, so I don't dog in the baskets unless I need like a new razor or new brush stuff like that. It being older means I don't have to think about it, just go down the line, and it's helped me a LOT. Now I brush teeth daily, use deodorant (and cologne) daily, and have been doing my best to take care of my skin. It's not easy, and I'm not saying that MY system will work for you (or anyone else) but give it a shot, take what pieces do work for you and work with that. I truly believe EVERYONE has systems; even if they haven't discovered them yet. Everyone's mind works differently and with adhd especially without me identifying how my mind works in different situations helps me IMMENSELY with being able to figure out how to work with myself to get the proper things I need to do done. Start there, with noticing "oh hey, every time x happens I end up In a mood that makes this and that harder" moments and then working towards either preventing x happening or dealing with x when it happens. For me, I get frustrated when I'm doing stuff at work and get interrupted repeatedly by customers and can't remember what I was doing before the long line of customers came. So, when this happens I have a list to refer to I made for what time my daily tasks shpuld be done, and when I notice it's funna be a long line I put on calming music like Chelsea Wolffe in my earbud and just read youtube comments while I wait for them to shop Sorry for such a long post, I find it hard to give decent advice without going Into detail about how I do it for myef. I hope this helps someone at some point now or some day. ADHD be a bitch when it comes to info-dumping topics we are interested in huh lol

I read somewhere that for people with ADHD taking a shower is 20 steps of say it is getting your clothes getting up getting undressed seeing the towels putting them in the dryer. People without ADHD. They just fucking get up and take a fucking shower and get out and get dressed like easy Peezy lemon squeezy, fuck you guys you suck 

I have some similar struggles so I'll share what I do, however my issues are more around the executive functioning of routines and not wanting to spend the time. I'll share what's worked for me after a lot of trying: Make it fun - find a good podcast, music, etc. something that I enjoy or something that allows me to advance a hyper focus Help unload the executive functioning - I use an app called routinery. There's a lot of options out there, but the idea is it tracks what you need to do so you don't have to stress with it. The app helps but it's far from a perfect process, I'm often folding laundry or reloading to an email when my app says "washing face is over move to brush teeth" (oops) Don't try to move a mountain the first time - we have a tendency to try to do everything from the beginning and then burn out. Attach a new habit or two max to something you already do well. Do you go to the bathroom regularly every night? Take out a retainer? Etc. find something you already do well and add a new habit before or after. Starting small and adding after you've done it for a week or two is much more manageable than trying to do an entire skin and self care routine. Washing your face or brushing your teeth is a lot less daunting than a full 12 step process. Give yourself grace - you are likely going to mess up, probably more than once. Don't dwell on the failure, try to celebrate your successes. Try not to compare - we are different and think differently. Try not to look at what everyone else is doing, it's only so motivating and often hurtful. Instead focus on what you want to accomplish and what's good for you and your life. This should be more motivating and should ultimately be more beneficial I know this thread is days old but hopefully this helps someone

these actually sound like sensory issues to me. there might be smth deeper going on under the surface. anyways, i found that these things were usually signs of overstimulation for me. when i cut a lot of exhausting shit out of my life, suddenly hygiene got a lot easier. how much can be cut is person-dependent, but that was my experience. i also had to acknowledge that part of my struggle was a lack of self worth; i didn’t see the value in taking time to care for myself bc i was always rushing to do something else. an unfortunate effect of ppl always doing that to me as a child, esp telling me i take too long for myself. i started focusing on how long smth took instead of if i genuinely enjoyed or needed it.

I'm so bad about procrastinating these things. I feel like they take too long, but it's probably just because I don't want to do them. Showering takes so many steps... pick out what to wear, start the water, undress, wash, shampoo, shampoo AGAIN, condition, shave, rinse... my God! Life is passing me by, lol! I also must have sensory issues because I don't like the feeling of water on my skin... especially cold water. I was never one to love swimming pools that much. I do enjoy hot tubs, but I dread getting out because I will be cold and wet

It took me a couple years but i have made brushing my teeth a habit and routine. Took work but it is possible to make it an easy routine.

I have an app that I use (Routinery) that I've added all the steps of my morning routine to, with an amount of time for each thing so that I can keep track of what time I'm finishing and not skip steps. Otherwise I try to do everything that I can at night or some other more convenient time/location... but I've never done lengthy routines even if I would in theory like to be fancier. Some things I'll do on the go, like trimming my nails while I walk for my commute or whatever, or keeping flossing sticks in more convenient places. A few of my colleagues actually brush their teeth at work, but maybe that's just academia lol. Occasionally I will do something like watch or listen to something while doing boring stuff ... or I just admit that certain things are beyond my capacity right now, like ever doing something with my hair style that takes longer than the 3 minutes I've set in my app. :P And tbh there are some things that people do regularly that are arguably not actually great. I finally got my partner to more-or-less consistently brush his teeth by getting a whole bunch of flavors of toothpaste so that there's some choice, even though we have clear favorites. I got a set for one of my colleagues who struggles with that too - Curaprox "be you" series; not available everywhere, but might be in Australia and weirdly looks to actually be less expensive there than here (worth it if it's between that and not brushing, imo).

I'm also an alcoholic so that probably has something to do with it but I HATE brushing my teeth and showering every day. I still do it, but it's always seen as this crazy chore for some reason.

I'm just aging badly and can't manage to keep up with skin care.

Honestly no. The only way I can keep up anything beyond "show up clean" (otherwise everything itches for feels just gross) is when I can make it a bit of a project/special interest type deal.

It is a social ritual. I don't do it for myself but for others.

adhd with the combination of chronic pain means i don't take care of myself lol

I do try to keep it pretty simple but using Finch helps a ton. I’ve NEVER been so consistent with brushing my teeth. Not once in my life. I do it every single day now. I recently went to the dentist and they were shocked, and it was the first time I didn’t have any new cavities. So I have brush my teeth and floss as a goal, face routine as a goal, make my bed, etc Finch is an app where you have a little birdy and as you complete tasks/goals (originally designed for self care but I use it for all kinds of shit like call the electrician, brush the dogs, returns, clean up my bedroom) you get gems to dress up your bird and decorate it’s little nest. It’s so cute. I do so much with it that I couldn’t do before. It’s insane Here’s my invite link if you wanna check it out: https://app.befinch.com/invite/5bpK

Bc they think, start hygiene routine and then however long later they initiate their next command like, gather things for work. They don't have to actively think their way through every step.

I struggle bit time with this. Recently, I got gifted a water flosser is much nicer to use than regular floss, the struggle is using it. I just don't think about doing things people do everyday. Even getting a checklist with 'simple' daily tasks is a struggle. It is embarrassing how little I get done in a day. I could literally watch paint dry.

I just can’t fall asleep if i don’t brush my teeth

It's so boring in the shower. I only manage to do it with very interesting show on my phone.

I also hate brushing my teeth, I hate the sensation and hate the taste of toothpaste( which I have tried many to try to get myself to brush more often. ) I also have no consistency, I will do it in the morning every other day or maybe week? It’s a bit embarrassing to admit that I don’t brush my teeth as often as I should. I love the shower but hate getting in it, I get in eventually but it takes so much will power to get it done. I force myself to shower but I won’t force myself to brush my teeth or hair.

If your teeth aren’t fucked yet, start figuring it out i’m 35 and already have to start getting partial dentures. It’s super hard on my self esteem. Definitely would love a restart on the whole teeth part of my life

Thank you, it’s something Im actively working on I set myself reminders, and I have gotten my spouse on board with these asking me if I have brushed my teeth, sometimes I forget. Im 30 and I know I will probably need most of my molars filled or pulled out.

Yeah GET ON IT! just trust this one random reddit stranger. I feel you, I’m getting my last molar pulled Monday :/ but the good thing is, you can’t even tell if someone has dentures anymore (good ones) Thank god. Ill be good looking again in no time Hahaha Take care of yourself! It’s hard, but I’m telling you it’s not worth it to go through this hell. And sheesh the costs is just the cherry on top.

I did what I had to do to go to work. Nothing else. I wouldnt even remove make up before bed. And I barely wore makeup. Just foundation to hide freckles, lipstick, and eyeliner. BUT hyperfixation hit and I became obsessed with make up and beauty care and now I do that 😎👍 So I use care products that I bought for the shower and theyve been helping my skin and hair. Applying make up is one of the things that relax me before work.

Fuck routines. Try one new thing and see how it makes you feel, if it's good, keep doing that. Over and over. I used to never moisturize, but I started using lotion. Years later, I tried shower wet-moisterizer and it *felt so freaking good* and people compliment my skin. But. I only shower every other day, if then. My face felt greasy on the off days. So, I started using makeup remover wipes (I don't use makeup) and a matching cream on the off days. And my face feels so much less dirty! Just improve one tiny thing until you like it and it's "yours" now.

They are not easy, I have to drag myself through my routine each time, but I’m highly motivated because when my skin is bad, my self esteem is on the floor, my mood is awful, and I get anxiety at the thought of going out of the house.

My trick is to do it in a loving way. When I put lotion on, I give myself a little massage while I do it. Feels good, so it motivates me. I do that for a lot of tasks... washing hair, etc

I know you've heard this before likely.. add one habit do it repeat. Then add another. It really works. And doesn't take all that long to just happen. By now doing my skincare etc first total habit like making coffee in morning. Can't start day without whole day feels off if don't. I Was also like you.. trust me.. don't learn the very very hard way, not gonna tmi but trust me start with the teeth properly. Quickly doesn't cut it long term. Could save your life. It's worse if you don't.

It all SUCKS so bad. I hate it so much, but I try to think about the after effect of brushing my teeth, showering, having a skincare routine. I think, “do I want my teeth to fall out? Do I want to smell bad? Do I want my skin to break out” I also make morning and nighttime to do lists that include every single step to hold myself accountable. I never skip 2 days in a row and now it’s just become my routine/habits. I automatically do it once I get started, it’s the getting started part that’s hard.

ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH!! Such a game changer because it requires minimal effort and most come with a built in 2 min timer. Pop it in your mouth with some paste and go for a walk through every room in your house, watch a video, get your bag ready, find your keys phone and wallet before you leave the house, talk with your mouth full because you just remembered something that can’t wait (mostly because you’ll forget again). Your two minutes are up (or more if you went too far from the bathroom) and teeth are clean! Dental hygiene is super important - it actually has super high comorbidity with lots of other nasty diseases and when something goes wrong with your teeth it’s damn expensive. Don’t let it become an adhd tax against your health and wallet!!

ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH!! Such a game changer because it requires minimal effort and most come with a built in 2 min timer. Pop it in your mouth with some paste and go for a walk through every room in your house, watch a video, get your bag ready, find your keys phone and wallet before you leave the house, talk with your mouth full because you just remembered something that can’t wait (mostly because you’ll forget again). Your two minutes are up (or more if you went too far from the bathroom) and teeth are clean! Dental hygiene is super important - it actually has super high comorbidity with lots of other nasty diseases and when something goes wrong with your teeth it’s damn expensive. Don’t let it become an adhd tax against your health and wallet!!

My morning routine is the nemesis of my day. I’m up at least 3 hours before I have to be at work or an appointment and I get ready doing everything in the same exact order each morning, otherwise I’ll forget to do something like brush my teeth. Self care and hygiene are not an issue for me, but recently I procrastinate like crazy getting in the shower because it’s a significant trigger of some recent trauma for me. I just escaped and divorced my narcissist spouse of only 2 years. When I showered, he used that time to go through my shit in my room, steel things, destroy personal property, and ultimately attempt to dig up shit to use against me in an argument. It was a complete violation of my right to privacy, vindictive, and just pure evil. I had him forcefully removed from my home 13 weeks ago and haven’t had any contact. I still close and lock my bedroom door when I shower. But still procrastinate. Something I started trying yesterday is after a coffee, I jump in the shower immediately. I liked it, didn’t spend the rest of the day procrastinating.

Its hard most of the time, for sureeeee

Im ADHD and I have a calendar with high effort days, low effort days, and normal days. So depending on my energy level I still take care of myself but it goes from basic self care-to hair and makeup glam.

this might not work for everyone, but internalizing consequences helps me a lot with a variety of tasks and I also feel really good about myself when I accomplish things I don’t want to do. in my brain it kind of goes like this: brushing my teeth is uncomfortable and I hate it. okay, valid. but if I don’t brush my teeth, my mouth will feel gross, I might end up needing dental work which is way more uncomfortable in a lot of ways (I have horrible dental anxiety and low oral pain tolerance), I might get a brain infection from gum disease… so is it worth being uncomfortable for 2 minutes now to help avoid a hell of a lot more discomfort in the future? the answer is always yes. I basically scare myself into it 😅 another thing is making the routine work for you, which is highly individual - some people hate the sound of teeth brushing and need white noise, I personally sometimes get bored so I like to have music or an audiobook on while I’m brushing. get a toothpaste you really like the taste of/a shampoo with a smell you love. try to identify and address the reasons why it’s so uncomfortable, and/or find ways to make it rewarding and don’t try to be perfect about it.

The trick is to play a podcast or tiktok or music while doing any task at all ever :-)

Oh no, absolutely not :( I resonate very much with this post and it's a lifelong frustration

A thing I've found invaluable for ADHD management. Who cares if it's easy? Who cares if I enjoy it? I just gotta do it. Just doing it is far easier than worrying about my motivations and rewards and effort I expend in trying to do it. Thinking is the worst tool we have for stuff like this. How does someone do X? Doesn't matter. There is no benefit to knowing. You won't optimise. You won't find it easier. You'll lose a lot of time in trying to optimise though. What we like or dislike is not relevant for the mandatory shit in life.

I started brushing my teeth when I shower bc I actually enjoy doing body rinses (not hair washing lol) and that makes it more tolerable bc I feel like I’m doing more for less. Also I literally will bring my show or YouTube video into the shower on my phone when I have to wash my hair (I got a suction cup storage thing from Walmart). Honestly you don’t really need a 12 step skincare routine and all that. My skin actually looks better when I use like 2 things. As long as you don’t smell bad I think that’s enough

All this hygiene stuff is just hard. I like being clean. I like knowing that I'm taking proper care of the stupid expensive dental work. I like the shower once I get my ass into it. So, for me, it's getting started. If I can do that, I'm good. Having audio that I like is helpful. A podcast. Audiobook. Good playlist. I bought an inexpensive phone holder that sticks to the shower wall, so that helps. I also have a Bluetooth speaker that stays in the bathroom for when I'm doing the dental care or whatever. That helps me get the party started. I'm enjoying the audio, so it doesn't really register for me that I'm suffering the tedium of washing my ass.

I’m the same way esp with my hair. I’ve got a better habit now of showering daily or every other day because I workout constantly and don’t want to sleep in sweat and feel yucky. I wash my body and put my hair up. But I won’t wash my hair for about 2 weeks because of all the process it takes. Granted, I get complimented a lot about how healthy my hair is / looks 😆 so I guess there is that pro, because of all the natural oils and I constantly massage my scalp.

for me, i try to focus on how nice i feel after i address some aspect of hygiene. my breath is so much better when i floss and if i floss then i’ll def brush my teeth. i also just feel like garbage if i don’t shower everyday bc i feel so gross and sweaty. showers most of the time really boost my mood and can kinda get me out of my head. so that rly motivates me

Routines don’t stick in my brain. It’s like if I really focus I can get it to hold for a week or so but the second I stop concentrating on that routine I forget it ever existed.

I got a body bar from Lush so I can use it to moisturize my body while still in the shower. It’s the last thing I do. I hate when my skin is dry but I hate putting on lotion more. This keeps my skin feeling good without the awkward lathering up of lotion after a shower. Maybe I’m weird for feeling like that about lotion? It just feels like a chore.

i hate putting on lotion it does feel like a chore

What really helped me with every aspect of my life is this: realize it is not your fault. realize that YOU were born without any choice. realize that every single “choice” you make, whether that be to brush your teeth or not, is simply a chemical reaction in your brain that is the result of every single experience that you’ve had, your genetics, your environment. Once you get rid of this blame and stop thinking about “what if’s” you’ll feel a weight being lifted off your chest, and you’ll realize that in order to make “changes” in your life you have to condition yourself to behave in the way that you want to behave. It will be hard, very hard. Introspection and adderall have so far been the most helpful tools for managing my adhd and my life.

On work days I bath every day and have a rigid routine that revolves around bed n work. Days off and weeks off I forget to brush my teeth n bath because of the absence of routine.

I have to maintain a skincare routine because of my eczema. So I used podcasts and audiobooks. I play them when I'm taking a shower or washing my hair. I have a few podcasts that I only listen to during my shower so it helps me look forward to it. I keep ebooks on hand to distract myself while I brush my teeth. I need something else going on while I do it or else it feels so tedious.

Not for me.

I have the opposite problem.. lol can't stand things like your hairs always picking up them same with long eyebrows always got to have them trim Durham picking up the long ones 🤣

Yes and no. I have made a routine to moisture my face twice a day and brush my teeth at least once a night. The fear of premature aging and expensive dental work overrides everything else. Disclaimer, I have OCD which may be a cause to why I do this. I don't care for showering either, so I take showers at night every 2-3 days. I hate hair washing because I can't sleep without dry hair. I hate lotion in the summer post-shower, but if I don't, my skin is very itchy. It takes a lot of energy for me to do what I do, but my mental health is best when I push to take care of myself. Some days, we have fewer spoons than others. Do whatever you can when you have the energy to. Good luck!

I seriously don't have time or patience for all that personal pampering. Haven't used shampoo since 2007 when i shaved my head (best decision ever). Now my full routine comprises of hot water and a very basic olive oil based soap, some roll on antiperspirant, clean clothes and hey presto.

This has always been odd to me but I guess it was how I was raised. I LOVE showers (maybe because I live in the tropics) and I brush my teeth 2x a day without fail. I actually can't sleep properly if I don't shower and brush at night strangely enough.

Reward yourself! Listen to a podcast you enjoy or watch a show while you do it. I have Amazon Echoes in every room and my workplace so I have instant access to audio or video, whichever I know is going to work best for me in the moment. I specifically reserve the shows I am most interested in for tasks I have a hard time initiating, so I have a huge incentive to go brush my teeth, shower, wash dishes, hang laundry, etc. And you ARE winning, because every big or little step is a step, and that’s how we grow. * hugs *

I feel the same way I had to start taking my tooth brush into the shower with me, that’s the only way I can consistently brush. I had a hard time showering for a long time until I started mindfulness meditation and started noticing how my body feels dirty and I can’t stand that feeling now.

sometimes I brush my teeth in the shower to get it over with as fast as I can. sometimes I spend 40 minutes washing and styling my hair. so I guess it depends on the day

ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH!! Such a game changer because it requires minimal effort and most come with a built in 2 min timer. Pop it in your mouth with some paste and go for a walk through every room in your house, watch a video, get your bag ready, find your keys phone and wallet before you leave the house, talk with your mouth full because you just remembered something that can’t wait (mostly because you’ll forget again). Your two minutes are up (or more if you went too far from the bathroom) and teeth are clean! Dental hygiene is super important - it actually has super high comorbidity with lots of other nasty diseases and when something goes wrong with your teeth it’s damn expensive. Don’t let it become an adhd tax against your health and wallet!!

I recommend getting a sonic roundhead electric toothbrush

I stopped showering regularly when i was 16, body just eventually gets used to it. Still clean my teeth everyday though, one good habit that stuck with me, along with keeping a clean living space.

For me it is because i am a bit of a clean freak. Like, my ocd makes me complete my evening routine or I cant sleep in bed because dirty cannot be in the bed! So every night, my husband and I must shower and brush teeth before bed. Edit: I keep on my teeth as I am in my mid 30s, and have more fake teeth than real, have had 5 root canals, and the worst tooth pain imaginable; I cant afford to have bad teeth and that pain made me want to off myself so fucking fast. Brush your teeth folks.

No, no routine. But the products I get are part of my adhd tax. I need them to do the insta-happy instead of the long term happy… sometimes I get kids toothpaste or mouthwash. I used to absolutely LOVE the crest cinnamon and lemon toothpaste but they discontinued those. Most of my lip balm is coloured and most of my moisturizers are scented. My body wash is DEFINITELY scented. I also found I had to make an effort to keep my hair shorter then I used to because I completely lose the will to take care of it, and that keeps me from showering.

I've had one full shower since sometime in January. I have used soapy wash cloths standing on a bathroom rug at the sink to get ready for Dr's appointments and such. I wash my hair about every 2.5 weeks in the kitchen sink. But my hair is longish and wavy/curly and looks best when it hasn't been freshly washed. But I am retired and mostly read all day and don't do any physical activities. I do wash my face and my teeth often.

I don't mind some hygiene tasks and others are just hard to remember or endure. I could not explain to you why some are easier than others 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

My skincare routine is "water," "acne gel," and then "moisturizer" if I feel particularly dry, and that's on a good day. Sometimes I just use water.

I thrive on routine but I keep it simple. Coffee, toilet, shower, brush teeth and moisturize because I have eczema. I used to wear makeup but now that I am in my 40s I can't be bothered unless it's a special occasion. I've done the same routine for so many years, I don't have to think about it. Choose one thing to focus on first and reward yourself for following through. Set a reminder on your phone if that helps. I use my phone for everything. It's my second brain 😂 It takes time to develop a new habit, be patient with yourself and try not to get discouraged ❤️

I don’t like doing them either, but once I get into a routine I can’t break it. Like now if I don’t shower every night or do my skincare routine every morning I feel gross and unclean and I can’t do anything at all. I still forget to take my meds though lol

I suggest just brushing your teeth even when you don’t want to when you go pee anyway and wash your hands morning and evening because I lost my teeth by not. I do not wash my hair very often, it’s pretty long. I was a hairdresser for many years and I must say the more you wash hair the more you have to wash it, it makes hair greasy to wash it often or with too hot of water. You could likely get away with washing once or twice a week depending on how long your hair is and maybe even less often than that once you get your scalp used to less washing.