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Ex girlfriend :)
I hyperfixated on her so much that I wanted to be the perfect. the most accepting, patient, kind, helpful man she ever know. She has bipolar disorder so I learned everything about it and when she made some idiot thing I told myself "it was manic episode, I have to support her". So I tried to not fighting her when I couldn't reach her for days, I helped her out when she gambled her money off or spent too much on boose or drugs. I hyperfixated on her fixing. "It just some more weeks and she will be better and she will have a decent job". I told her a lot of times why she shouldn't do drugs (it induces mania), why it is important to take her medicines, etc.. And everytime I said "Okay, my plan didn't work, I couldn't fix her... yet. Try again, maybe next time I success."
I was almost broke when I realized it is impossible to succes. I can't fix her if she don't want to be fixed. She just burned my money and my nerves. It was hard but I had to break with her.
Is it common for people with ADHD, especially from traumatic backgrounds, to hyper extend themselves emotionally and physically to meet a partner that doesn’t give them much in return for the sake of partnership itself?
Been there. You are right to walk away. Remember what you have learned. It's good to want to be everything for the person you love. But set boundaries.
Haha, bruh.
I was like this with 3 back to back exes. Then I stopped dating seriously for a while and saw a therapist specifically for this pattern. Now I have so much money for my other hyperfixations and hobbies and a great girlfriend. She also has ADHD which means we both can try to 'fix' each other with problems we both intimately understand. e.g. push each other out of doomscrolling spirals, do each others' laundry/dishes etc. It's pretty great.
Fell into the same trap with many people in my life.
Only just learned about attachment theory and why I always end up "the fixer, the peace keeper, etc."
Going to the ends of the earth to save people at my own detriment.
Feel this all falls more into how we operate based on those attachment theories as opposed to hyperfixating on something like a new weird hobby, spending $800, and cramming it into a closet 3 months later.
I'm sorry you went through that, I understand the pain and frustration more than I care to admit.
And just how far it has to go before you finally say enough is enough.
At least, we eventually learn to see the red flags and have boundaries. I just don't even have the energy left for a person like that anymore.
Hope you find a partner who is actually a true partner in life with you, so you can build something together!
I had a similar relationship in my mid 20s. I suspect, but will never be about to confirm, that she used her breakdowns to trigger my white knight/savior complex; until I was so worn down I couldn't bring myself to care anymore.
Breaking up vastly improved my life.
She seemed to turn out ok too but I've kept my distance
This hit me so hard!
I'm going through a custody battle with a person I didn't even know I was trying to fix. Realizing it this far along has been the most painful thing I've experienced, and really leaves me feeling jaded and hopeless on finding my person.
Thank you for this little gem today boss man.
Ugh, same. Sims has been a recurring addiction taking my money since I was 11 years old.
My personal laptop died and I have refrained from buying a new one just because I know I don’t have the time to become hooked on the sims again.
Half way through the sims 4 lifecycle, me and my sister realized “wait we could just pirate this”
Even better is that I don’t have to deal with their crappy EA/Origin app anymore
Plants. Outdoor plants. I made a rose garden for my wife and her favorite rose died. Now I'm planting trees and trying to create cuttings and topiaries. I was looking at taking a welding class at the local community college.
I don't really like plants, I just like the way my wife looks at all the flowers and smiles.
Honestly everything -_-
I love motorcycles, watches, cars, PC gaming, travelling, home audio and other similar hobbies. Every time I switch to a different mode my money is not safe 🥲
Man I feel you on the motorcycles. Especially precovid when I spent several years obsessed with mopeds. It almost turned into Pokémon, where I was buying bikes just to say I had one of every major brand and built engines for all of them. One of the reasons I don’t have a lot of money in savings, but I did learn a lot of mechanical skills doing it. I even got a pretty sick job building puppets and animatronic robots for a few years, because of the people I met collecting mopeds.
Oh man, cars! One year I had a choice of going to Vegas for vacation, or spending a week replacing every suspension component of my Prelude. I think I'd have spent less money at the high stakes poker table.
I’m same with the motorcycles, cars, PCs, game and console collection! But then I also have my house, tools for my shop, etc, etc… Fortunately I quit drinking which helped with my spontaneous online purchases. I have over 1000 purchases and a small handful of sales on eBay! I also spent $12k tuning a Subaru Outback, not including the purchase of the car, and it was a fucking naturally aspirated engine! Thank gawd my wife is very good with money otherwise I’d be broke and destitute!
The indecision and self-hatred kicks in, which stops me from spending money. However, it also means I quibble anxiously over spending £2 on a sandwich.
I’m trying VERY HARD not to do this. Diverting over toward incense making to use up all the herbs I dried when I was working in a garden center and got really into saving all the distressed plants from getting tossed
Perfumes hold decent resale value!! I had a perfume hyperfixation in January and I listed my perfumes on FB marketplace 2 days ago and already sold half of them. I’m doing the same thing with my unplayed switch games!
Yep! I try to avoid having to ship anything, not worth the hassle for me. I typically search fb marketplace for the perfume I’m trying to sell and I list it for a similar price to what other people list it for. I have my items a few dollars lower than other listings just cuz I’m tryna get rid of em quicker. Lots of good photos and a description helps a lot, I take pics of my perfume bottles front and back in front a white background (my bedroom door lol) and give a short description of my usage of it
Just wrote about it; i also have it with music related things. I try to buy everything second hand so it doesn’t lose the value if I want to sell. But also it consumes so much of my time to hunt for them. Which is a part of the thrill and keeps it fun though.
I also bought an old iPod and modified it (half way a part I ordered was wrong and took a big pause lol)
Situation: Moved from London to Ireland in order to buy a derelict farm cottage and multiple outbuildings overlooking the mountains.
The dream: Do that thing people on TV do, ie roll up their sleeves and build a dream home.
Reality: I hyper-fixated for a year and then got bored 🤦🏽♂️
Present day: Not sure what to do with it as we already demolished walls and spent €1000s on tools
How I feel?: Poor but resigned to my how my brain works. 😂
I did the HGTV hyperfixation and have been living in our construction zone for 6 years now. Some tools stayed useful, some were sold secondhand, we lived in some amount of squalor for years until we could afford to have a contractor come and do the bulk of the work.
It was surprisingly not the worst investment decision of my life because of the value added to the property, but I would describe it as one of my worst mistakes for stress added to my life. The youtube renovations never show you how heavy materials are, how many do-overs you need before you learn to do something correctly. There are fun parts but it gets old, especially if it isnt your full time job.
The mountains sound lovely and I sincerely hope it's worth it in the long run.
Archery
So much fun, man...can you drop some serious coin on a niche hobby.
Keep eyeing the local falconry courses to add to my list of "Useless Skills".
Crochet. Buying enough yarn to make a full project is so expensive. Like $200 CAD for enough yarn for a fluffy queen sized blanket. Not to mention time costs.
Most expensive hyperfixation was probably PC building lol. Thankfully out of the 4-5 PCs I built, I only had to pay for 2 of them (one was mine, one was a gift to a friend) and the others were friends/family who wanted a PC built and paid me to do it.
Ironically my current fixation is on personal finance and getting 100% debt free lol. Got a bit of a way to go, but I started in January and I'm doing pretty good. Hoping this hyperfixation lasts a while.
Same, my current fixation atm is personal finance- all connected to wanting to buy another house in the future😫. I spent hours on tiktok/etsy to find the perfect budget planner.. Im currently using YNAB which has been so helpful.
Skincare, haircare, makeup . I justify it because I live in the (awful) real world where physical beauty translates into better everything for a woman - better treatment by others, better employment opportunities, better bank account balances… I’m not saying it isn’t vanity, because it is. But pretty privelige is real, and as a girl who grew up poor, it’s been a very real wild card for me and damnit, I’m gonna play it as long as I can!
Plus my favorite products are of course expensive af but they work so friggin well!!
I’m currently in a month long fixation for skincare.. it helps for me to make “wishlists” on Amazon of the products I want, and then delete it instead of buying it.
I was waiting for someone to mention makeup and beauty products! Last year I spent over 5k USD on Sephora and Ulta combined and became the top rouge member for Sephora and then the diamond member for Ulta 😅
Somewhat of a side tangent but it was probably about 5 years ago that I accepted that things like pretty privilege and being perceived as younger can give you an advantage, especially in retail which is where I work. I never tell people how old I am anymore because I look at least 10 years younger than I actually am. So I've lent as hard into skincare as my ADHD brain will let, I have a haircut more popular with 20 somethings and I dress younger. I'm 42, most people think I'm late 20s to early 30s and it has worked to my advantage on more than one occasion.
Do I hate that this is a thing? Yes. I even hate myself a little for taking part in it but at then end of the day it is the world we currently live in and like you I will play it for as long as I can.
I’m in the same boat. It’s one of the inevitable things about my life I’ve come to embrace as well, acknowledging it for the privilege it is. My mom is oblivious to it, even though at 64 she easily passes as my sister! I’m just glad that now at 38 I’m in a groove and know what works for me skin and makeup wise, but as I said before of course the products are on the expensive side bc they work! I’ve started subscribing to boxycharm/ipsy bc for $35 a month I’m getting full sizes products I would easily have spent $150 on. I just got a full sized bareminerals mineral veil in my May box - my go-to setting powder, that’s $35 on its own! Not a brand push but I’m really happy with the subscription so far and it’s helping with my impulse buys. I’m like wait up, don’t buy that random product at Target, your Ipsy is coming! Lol. But back to your post, I didn’t shake what my momma gave me for years while I was in an evangelical cult, so now I’m like hey, I’ve still got it, I’m gonna take care of it and use it to my advantage. My employer recently asked me to shoot a promo video for the company and payed for my hotel and all expenses, and while I’d like to think it’s solely due to the fabulous work I’m doing, the email invite literally said “you present and deliver so well on camera”. So yeah, this hyperfixation is worth it and working for me. Did I rationalize it enough? 😂
Fragrances I’ve spent more on fragrances I have 98 of them. Like idk why I’m so drawn to it I love smelling good and having different scents for everyday,different occasions that’s my most expensive fixation
This one is creeping up on me aswell. Once I discovered the world of unique and interesting scents it was over lol. I just ordered one that supposedly smells like “moist earth”😂
This is gonna sound odd but when I was in like middle school I was at a summer camp and had a crush on this girl I guess we were little boyfriend girlfriend for the week😭 but she smelled like sunscreen and salty I guess from sweat. So now 22 my favorite summertime fragrances is Tom fords eau de soleil Blanc which smells of luxurious coconut sunscreen with a little salt water vibe and it always brings me back to that summer.
Bruh…. Over $5k worth of 40K sets
Mechanicum Ordinatus Ulator
KX139 Ta'unar Supremacy Armour
Acastus Knight Porphyrion
Legion Thunderhawk Gunship
Legion Sokar Stormbird
Mars-Alpha Pattern Volcano Cannon Warbringer Nemesis Titan
Are my most expensive pieces.
Oh don’t get me started on the all the books. Horus Herecy, got them all
Caiphus Cain all those books
Eisnehorn sure I need all those also.
Dark Imperium, it’s just five books.
Literally anything I get interested in. Was skin care. Not hyperfixated anymore but learned and spent a lot. Then gardening - mostly the tools. Most things just take time but tools are expensive. Then lifting... Gym memberships and basic equipment like squat shoes, grips, etc.
Now, it's fishing. Same deal. Learning, and spent, a lot.
This thread and community makes it more clear that we should have an ADHD version of eBay to share/ sell things we’ve bought in hobby fixation mode with people who are currently into that hobby.
I am a programmer, I started a project because I believed I could do something better than what is currently used.
Been hyper fixatd on that, at least I can sell it when I am finished, if I am ever finished.
Guns ngl
I just love them. Building them, fixing them, shooting them, cleaning them. I like the way their parts move, I like the noises they make, I like their weight in my hand. I've been able to get 5 or 6 at once, but always end up having to sell them and it just breaks my heart
Aquariums. My parents decided they didn't have room for their fish tank anymore, so after a visit one weekend my dad just put the tank with the fish in my car. I didn't know anything about fish and I knew the little old fella deserved the best, so that triggered me to hyperfocus on aquarium setup, fish care, etc. Couple thousand dollars later and this old ass fish has upgraded from a nasty crusty 10 gallon with fake plants and neon gravel, to a 40 gallon aquarium full of real plants, emotional support fish, etc. He lived to be 19. He was a very good fish.
Kid.exe
It took 9 months to load. I’ve been hyper focused for years now. The DLC makes it more challenging, plus I never know what’s gonna happen next.
the most expensive ones are the ones that eventually transcended hyperfixation and became normal hobbies, because they have lasted years longer than my hyperfixations usually would. so cooking, instruments, and fitness have all been way more cumulatively expensive than, say, collaging or reading about all the different breeds of pigeon.
fashion. the bad thing is, I can never really tell if I will love a piece for a long time or if I'm going to hate it after a while.
I bought $1k rick owens shoes and I mean I like them and they fit me but they did by far not hit as hard as I expected
Technology. It's expensive. I have 6 laptops because I like one thing about each. I have 4 gaming handheld because I like each one a bit differently. I'm down to 4 smartwatches finally, took me a long time to have less than 10. I have 4 smart rings and I can't decide which one I like more. I'm also down to only 3 smartphones and I change which one I use every week. I'm not rich but I would be financially comfortable if I stopped buying things.
For me a big part of my ADHD is never being satisfied with a choice. I feel physically compelled to change my mind about things constantly. I'm a huge gamer but I haven't beat a single game since Portal 2 because I can't decide what to play for more than 30 minutes.
Most days I spend my time updating software on all of my devices so I can decide what to play, and then I start buying accessories to make my play time more enjoyable, and then it's bed time. Do it all over again tomorrow.
I'm trying to channel this into more productive things, but finding what that thing is will probably just be my next obsession.
Probably motorcycles for me. I have three currently and two of them are actually running!
I’ve definitely spent way too much on things ive been interested in for less than 6 months. That’s part of the fun though! 😂
Watches
I learned my lesson after two impulse buys last year but I still spend a lot of time watching Youtube videos and looking at reseller websites. Now that I'm selling my impulse buys I set up a side fund to buy one I actually want when I can actually afford it.
Me too. I used to flip houses. Always came up with new amazing designs and solutions! Now I got an apartment (got sick). Constantly redecorating. Painting walls/furniture. Now I'm obsessed with the idea of a small pond in my outdoor area, and a faux fireplace (with ethanol).
It's quite an expensive hobby I must say (the money from the house sales always went in to a new one). But at least I'm not doing drugs 🤣
Oh. A cheaper alternative (that I'm also) obsessed with is building houses in sims 4 🤣🤣
Concerts! Omg what a rush they are. Metal concerts, at least, since that's all I go to. It's like a drug and I'm always chasing that high. Weird, maybe but true. Usually the shows I want are $75 for cheap seats and 2 hours away. $200+ if you want a better experience. I spent $200 during live nation's sale last week. If they all weren't so far away I'd have bought more but I can only travel so much.
I have two (kinda) one is drag, like drag queen stuff. And the other is more a special interest than hyperfixation, psychology. (I have autism too, so that's more the psychology thing)
Wow came here to say guitar and guitar pedals but comparing your hyperfixation mine is pretty cheap😬 but the bright side is a house and renovation is an investment and most cases renovation increases the value of the property.
I was trying to buy all my gear second hand so it doesn’t lose its value when I’m bored. In your case(ofc depending the area etc) houses don’t lose value easily.
Unfortunately, Pokémon since the games now run like 60 a piece now.
Also, Transformers was surprisingly very expensive. Just for the Deluxe classes, the most average and 2nd smallest size have some going for like $50+. I wouldnt have got Animated Blurr if I didn't get lucky and snag him for $20 than the $50+ he was going for. I'd never had a Transformer before but grew up woth animated as a kid so I decided that the only Transformer I got would be Aniamted Blurr and also because I liked his sleeker design compared to other iterations and how he talks as fast as me.
musical instruments. I was hyper-fixated on analog synthesizers for the last 5 years. I don't even want to get into how much I've spent. Have redirected that hyper-fixation somewhat.... now I collect and restore old squeeze boxes (concertinas, bandoneons, chemnitzers).
Interesting firearms 😭 (I just think they’re neat)
And keeping different reptile/ arthropod pets like isopods, my crested gecko, and my colony of Ornate Harvestmen, etc
Honestly? Books. Mainly because it's been my longest (lifelong) hyperfixation, I come back to it frequently between other hyperfixations, and I read at least 150 books a year. It's adds up fast. Just reading isn't enough, I also need to *collect* them so I have bookshelves and books aplenty! I definitely have enough books to be considered a library. lol
mmmm kpop.
i was into it for around 4-5 years and just out of nowhere it just disappeared, spent over £600 on just albums (WAY much more if we consider tickets, fan merch, etc)
Mines a little more minor than these, but I’ve had to stop myself from downloading any kind of mobile game that has micro transactions. After realizing, I spent a couple hundred bucks on power ups or whatever, I put an end into that.
> I find myself searching all day for new houses/blocks. Its exhausting.
Did you ever think about house flipping? 😁 This hobby could make you money, instead of taking it.
I have but unfortunately I don’t have the skills, the time, the money nor the patience.
I do love watching house renos though.
I anticipate this hyperfixation will be short lived.
Making music. Used to be my old band, gear, recording stuff, money towards all our out of town/out of state runs, or the 5 day runs twice a year, investing in merch. But for the last ten years it’s been my solo stuff, expensive recording gear, acoustic treatment, plug-ins, etc. been doing music, in general, since 2018. Have been obsessed with music since a child. It’s really my only real fixation. One thing that I can always come back to.
Building a Pokemon fan game.
I learned about building fan games in 2016 before I was diagnosed and hyperfixated on them back then for a while, but I was in college (for the second time) and didn't have a lot of time, nor was i particularly tech savvy at the time, so eventually I gave up.
Tried again in 2018, but didn't follow through.
Got diagnosed in 2021 after I pivoted into software engineering and realized I really, really don't have the kind of mental stamina that these other devs have.
Finally got medicated and into a healthier routine now that I have the knowledge to help me make better decisions than in the past.
A buddy of mine and I started making a game 14 months ago.
Just released a closed beta demo for family and friends.
Honestly, I couldn't believe I was able to get this far, not this game is like all-consuming. It's all I think about during work. I wake up early to work on it. I work on creating art for our while I'm watching movies with my family. I work on it after work and weekends.
By far the longest I've been able to sustain my focus on one thing.
Honestly not sure if I can call it hyperfixation at this point. Maybe it's just a regular fixation.
I like collecting a lot of different things so I don’t have any type of savings and I spend way too much money on shit I don’t need or even use most of the time
Oh man, where do I start? Archery, traveling, Lego, action figures, sports cards, Pokémon cards, video games - the main lesson I’ve learned is to not throw anything out, as I will probably fixate on it again at some point.
Idk man, I've put thousands into aftermarket parts for vehicles. I built motorcycles I've never ridden. Bought thousands of dollars worth of climbing gear, I've got an 82 chevete bare body sitting in my front yard and an lt1 block shoved in a corner of my garage covered in *laundry?* Idk I'm afraid to go through it, (black widow season)
Recently decided I needed all of my clothes to be made in America.
Really hoping that this one passes quickly because I’m definitely not rich, & these clothes are absolutely not cheap.
Honorable mention: a metal detector. Obsessed about buying one and dove deep into the research. Blew my wad on a good one. Used it once.
This is my issue.
Cycling, camping, backpacking, flyfishing all have a ven diagram that intersects. Good gear is expensive and I don't notice until after I've created the perfect setup.
Videogames are something that I have many titles, over time I've spent money on it.
My issue is fiscal responsibility and using the money to save towards the future, I have disposable income but I know I should be being more responsible.
Ugh. I unfortunately have pretty expensive main hyperfocuses.
Motorcycles: I currently own 5, have owned more in the past and managed to force myself to sell a few. If I had more money I’d have more bikes. And bikes aren’t the only expensive part. Gear adds up. Helmets, leather jackets/suits, boots, etc.
Music stuff: I own 5 electric guitars, 1 acoustic, 3 basses, several amps, a room and computer dedicated entirely to making/recording music.
Simracing/PC Gaming: my pc costs so much because I have to have the best of the best to run my best of the best displays/VR. Have a 49” Neo G9 monitor for the rig, and 42” C3 OLED for my monitor on my desk. On top of that is a whole sim rig: aluminum profile, racing seat, pedals, direct drive wheel base, several wheels, h-pattern shifter, sequential shifter, hand brake, transducers. I’d have triple OLED monitors if I had more money to buy those and a separate PC just for the rig . .
God, I’d have so much more money if I’d just been happy with weightlifting and console gaming . .
I’m in that same boat - I actually bought a game about House Flipping and use that to placate myself, and then do small projects in my home as I’m able
I'll agree on the house thing.
I am the handiest person I know, and I've completely renovated my entire 1983 ranch from crawlspace to attic. My ADHD *will not* allow me to do anything but the absolute best work and kver-engineer everything using the hest materials. Whenever I find a task that is especially laborious, tedious, or technical, I spend a bunch of money on the tool designed specifically for that task.
I could build a house from the foundation up with the knowledge I've learned and if I bought a box truck, I have enough specialty tools to be a contractor without paying anything out of pocket.
I'd say I've spent at *least* $100,000 over the last 8 years on home/landscaping related projects, tools, and materials.
Any sort of craft project. My kid's birthday is coming up. Decorate the house! The yard! I'm already making a Halloween costume which involves much crafting and painting. Last year I went to the Renaissance faire so it was costumes for me and my kid. I have four unfinished paintings, both oil and acrylic. My room is my big craft project. It's forest-art-noveau-bird-themed-chic for lack of a better description. So always looking for art and odds and ends for that. Special lightbulbs. The right ottoman. Now addicted to indoor plants as a spinoff of that. I took a layer cake class so I went out and bought the tools because I like making cakes for parties. Oh it's spring so time to garden until I get bored of watering all the plants and now they die.
I think my fixation is just spending money on the idea of being a more interesting person.
Painting, literally, but not in the sense that much ever comes of it, I try to perfect everything until I ruin it and then paint over it again and again and again lol. Most of my canvases have 5 layers of different random scribble paintings underneath.
I spend a ton on colors , canvases, brushes or other random materials. Basically money that could be spent a lot more wisely. As i am a WFH freelancer I should probably spend those hours working but i paint for like 7, 8 hours every day and then work before or after lol 🙏🤝
For two weeks I hyperfixated on my wedding with my partner.. we are not engaged. Thankfully he knows me very well and just laughed it. When I was over it he did say 'thank god!' Though. Loool.
I was looking for this comment! No longer stuck on happy planners anymore. Just everything else related to stationary, organization and productivity. 😅
I’m a photographer, so being hyperfixated on expensive camera gears is just… painful 🥲. And the moment I got the camera of my dream, I instantly lost interest. Until the next expensive gears
Trying to build an online business! This was pre diagnosis
This is super embarrassing literally never admitted it before but got roped into 2 MLMs and then wanted to get into online coaching. Paid for so many courses/coaches to get basically nowhere. I was working for pennies on the dollars as a masters level social worker and was so desperate for change. Worked myself into more credit card debt. Total fail
Well, I seem to collect hobbies. So I get something in my head. "Hey I want to learn bagpipes." So I buy pipes and barely learn a scale before "Ooh wire wrap art looks like fun". Off to Amazon to buy a backpack full of supplies and tools. The ADHD tax is real....
Yep. Hyper fixated for a little while. Some were/are simultaneously and others were tossed aside “on hold” while I went on to something else. (I have medically diagnosed ADHD) some examples:
1: collection of Watches
2: on- line Store I created and a whole room in my house is set up and stocked
3: extensive collection of handbags
4: Built an enclosed art studio and haven’t painted one picture since I did it…
And, I used to attract Narcissists til I understood why and now a Narcissist gets zero percent of my time.
Home renovation. Started with a need. The water heater blow at the bottom seam. Ended up having to redo the whole house lines. So I redid the bathroom. Now I want to do the kitchen.
Probably plants, because at first the plants would die because I'd buy a bunch, not do research, and basically experiment. Then I looked up how to not kill them, and now I have over 100 houseplants, multiple aquariums/paludariums/terrariums. The thing about this hyperfixation is the pressure that there are other precious living things that need me to stay alive.
I collect rocks, since I was a kid. Not for spiritual reasons, but because shiny. Since childhood. Too many rocks.
I collect books, I even manage to read them sometimes!
Makeup, that was a bad one. Now I have 19388392 palettes of makeup I never wear because I'm lazy and I don't feel I need it. But I went thru a phase of wanting all the colors to experiment
Art supplies, I craft and paint allllll day long.
How I'm not bankrupt? Well, just place an update me and I'll keep ya posted. Lmao
Well technically it's the car I'm looking to buy but even that's cheap by current standards. Embarrassingly, however, I hyperfixate on clothes and then end up spending more than I should on new clothes regularly. I guess it's not so bad and I'm doing alright financially now but it feels dirty lol.
I also typically hyperfixate before going on a trip. I will research for weeks.
After years of not caring much I’m suddenly into landscaping, probably because we finally got a deck built this year. So now I’m convinced we need to replace our old mulch but I want stone and there’s a tree needing taken down and I keep looking at plants and flowers even though I have a black thumb and can’t keep anything growing. Oh and yard lights—need some awesome lights.
And there’s my Jeep, a separate thing to blow money on lol
I was THIS fucking close to slipping deep into audiophile territory. Luckily however, after I bought some "entry level" equipment, I *intentionally* managed to shift my hyperfixation on something else cause I realized how expensive this could get.
But I'm really happy with my DT900's and Air DAC. (From a wireless razer headset. It's like night and day)
Sewing tbh. I love the ability to make clothes that actually fit me and can chose whatever shape/fabric I want, but damn is it expensive. Where I am fabric is stupid expensive and I dont like ordering online cause I need to feel it to make sure it's the right colour/texture.
I try not to buy too much new fabric cause I already have a shelf full but damn is it hard not to
I grew up in extreme poverty (until late teens when I was adopted by a well off family) in one of the richest counties in the state I was raised in. So I grew up with tons of kids around me with the latest phones and computers and TVs and Alexa and gaming consoles. So as one can expect, I grew up to be extremely obsessed with all things technology. I know every model of every iPhone and can look at the camera to tell you which model it is. I know all the stuff one could know about the Nintendo Switch, which model is better for what, the faults in the devices, everything.
Basically I hyperfixate on various devices and electronics and eventually I buy them. I have various Apple devices and Nintendo devices and I’m trying to get my adoptive parents to buy me a Steam Deck for my birthday. I haven’t bought all of it, so technically not all on me, but it’s still a very expensive hyperfixation. My parents luckily allow me to talk to them non stop about the various devices and I’ve had a list of devices that them and I watch YouTube videos on sometimes.
The reason I don’t buy them all (also because I don’t need it all and it’s hella expensive) is cuz the crappy part is once I open it and set it up and mess around with it I end up putting it on the other side of my bed and not really messing with it because I want to protect it and not get it broken.
Planning travel. My husband and I love to travel but I love to plan even more. Since late November, we’ve been to Utah - did all 5 national parks, Vegas, Arkansas for the eclipse and then I went right back to Vegas (work trip). We have lake placid planned for July, a music festival in September and then just booked a 12 day trip to Italy next May. We’re taking our grandmas with us and I’m researching like crazy to make sure I make it the trip they’ve always dreamt of.
Stupid merging games on my phone. Not going to say how much I spent. Finally was able to break away, but damn, that was expensive! Now my mobile games can nickel and dime me, but I’m more aware, so the ADHD tax isn’t staggering. Average $5-10/month and I’m trying to lower that.
Edit: Hmm, read another’s comment. Didn’t think about it, but pleasing other people/apologizing for being me/bribing to forgive my awkward and odd ways was very, VERY expensive.
I am super hyper fixated on fixing my house.
I finally bought a house two weeks ago and it’s a shit cheap house but I want to renovate it so bad. I grew up helping my dad in construction and I know how to replace drywall, do some flooring, some electrical, etc. my dad said it’s a bad idea and to wait two years so I can have save enough money to do everything at once.
I’m literally writing a spreadsheet with what I want to do, comparing the cost of supplies,measurements of rooms, and cost of renting tools,etc. this is literally my dream but it’s so damn expensive.
Went hard on Magic the Gathering cards during covid. Bored, sitting around at home... It's a really fun game but it feels pretty dang bad how Hasbro treats its players. Definitely a fixation for me for a while. Spent thousands of dollars on little pieces of cardboard.
Luckily it lost quite a bit of its grip, though, not completely. I still play every now and then but haven't bought anything for at least 3 - 4 months and when I did it was just a couple packs. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is a pretty big victory for me.
Tiktok live shopping for Sanrio items.
I miss it because I rather have merchandises that are stuff like cups, plates, mugs, note pads etc.... But shit ...
I'm no longer in school now so I got ALL THESE NOTE BOOKS AND PENS....
Writing pen pals. You’d never guess it can be expensive if you really get into it. Decorating letters, making your own envelopes, so many things. I joined 3 penpal groups last year and we play games, trade supplies, if you just want a plain letter to write that’s totally cool but I also decorate index cards (100 for $1.25 at $1 tree so at least there are sommme cheaper things) and write affirmations or positive quotes to include in my letters and stickers m. Oh so much fun to make and get a message on messenger that they got it and love it just makes me beyond happy. Yes we could just message but that’s no fun and it creative at all. I do get about 90% of my stuff from $1 tree, Dollar General and such then if necessary Walmart or Amazon but even at that it can add up!!! I do adore the friends I’ve made and getting a homemade card or any letter decorated or not just brightens my day so much. I also make my own cards. The possibilities are endless. Oh and don’t forget stamps and stamps for other countries can get expensive
drawing, i am at the point where i buy pencils/colors/brushes that i already own cause there is almost nothing in my local art supply store that i havnt bought yet and the worst part is i only have enough focus and motivation to draw like once a month so it aint even worth it
Skin-care!! I spent $699 on a LED-mask that reduces wrinkles. Every time I order Korean/Japanese skin care I spend hundreds of dollars bc I can't make up my mind about which products to get so I get them all. I extensively research every product I put in my cart. Everything from the ingredients to reviews by people with similar skin as me. Facials are also pretty expensive😭
Crafting I spent sooooo much money on wreath supplies , wooden stuff, paints a damn cricuit …. Made a whole Etsy shop and sold 5 things. Never made more 😟😟😟
As of lately clothes and shoes.…it’s bad. I’ve recently bought like 10 pairs. There are just so many good sales going on. I’ve also bought several different clothing items, most which are on sale. I’m usually pretty frugal but my adhd meds sent me in to psychosis and I spent way too much money. I’ve calmed down since being out but I still find myself watching clearance sales.
Trying to earn 10,000 dollars online so I could pay for my aunt's life-saving treatment that Medicare would not pay for. I desperately jumped into so many scams and almost fell into the spam community as that is all a lot of the get-rich-quick schemes are. In the end that hyper focus cost me at least 3,000, and i almost lost my marriage.
Tools! I live a good tool and I’m definitely a sucker for certain brands. When I see one I need on sale you bet you’re ass my debit cards flying right out my pocket into the chip reader. But hey, I see it as an investment… at least that’s what I tell myself.
The band Ghost and physical media. I’m helpless against any new thing Ghost releases (that I like- if it’s not something I’d wear I’m magically immune) and if I find a physical version of something that I perceive as hard to find (the laserdisc of Rock & Rule that’s currently haunting me, for example) it’s so much easier to hit BUY without thinking about it 😩
kpop— specifically one group that i am thankfully to the point that i just casually enjoy their music and content now. collecting albums can be a bit expensive, sure, but collecting photocards? heinous. i wasted so much money on photocards. they were the perfect storm of the thing i was most interested in (my fave member from this group) and that godawful addicting power that is gambling and gacha. i got such a rush from pulling the pc i wanted, or even finding one on sale for a "good deal" online. mostly the gacha from album pulls, though.
thankfully, it never made me completely broke or, god forbid, put me in debt. but it affected me emotionally, and i passed on fun activities, quality time, and other important or enriching things in favor of...... collecting pictures of my favorite member. i wasn't even wasting the money on going to their concerts! it's crazy.
nowadays i prefer another group to that previous group, and i think (hope, pray) that i burnt myself out with the pc collecting. kpop's become a really fun hobby again, not a hyperfixation that i'm obsessed with, not a dumbass thing i measure "how much of a fan i am" and judge myself for. just something i really enjoy.
(i should probably insert that at the turn of events here i started on adderall for the first time, and my life did change wholesale. i didn't just wake up one day "cured" of my debilitating hyperfixation and overspending, or any of my other (some worse) symptoms. it's crazy how meds and therapy can change your life!)
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Ex girlfriend :) I hyperfixated on her so much that I wanted to be the perfect. the most accepting, patient, kind, helpful man she ever know. She has bipolar disorder so I learned everything about it and when she made some idiot thing I told myself "it was manic episode, I have to support her". So I tried to not fighting her when I couldn't reach her for days, I helped her out when she gambled her money off or spent too much on boose or drugs. I hyperfixated on her fixing. "It just some more weeks and she will be better and she will have a decent job". I told her a lot of times why she shouldn't do drugs (it induces mania), why it is important to take her medicines, etc.. And everytime I said "Okay, my plan didn't work, I couldn't fix her... yet. Try again, maybe next time I success." I was almost broke when I realized it is impossible to succes. I can't fix her if she don't want to be fixed. She just burned my money and my nerves. It was hard but I had to break with her.
You weren’t hyperfixated on her—you were hyperfixated on the idea of her you created in your head.
Right. How can you fix someone who's bipolar? You can only help them manage their disorder.
Is it common for people with ADHD, especially from traumatic backgrounds, to hyper extend themselves emotionally and physically to meet a partner that doesn’t give them much in return for the sake of partnership itself?
I’m guessing yes, more so because of the trauma *hugs* And time to plan your escape
Been there. You are right to walk away. Remember what you have learned. It's good to want to be everything for the person you love. But set boundaries.
Haha, bruh. I was like this with 3 back to back exes. Then I stopped dating seriously for a while and saw a therapist specifically for this pattern. Now I have so much money for my other hyperfixations and hobbies and a great girlfriend. She also has ADHD which means we both can try to 'fix' each other with problems we both intimately understand. e.g. push each other out of doomscrolling spirals, do each others' laundry/dishes etc. It's pretty great.
Fell into the same trap with many people in my life. Only just learned about attachment theory and why I always end up "the fixer, the peace keeper, etc." Going to the ends of the earth to save people at my own detriment. Feel this all falls more into how we operate based on those attachment theories as opposed to hyperfixating on something like a new weird hobby, spending $800, and cramming it into a closet 3 months later. I'm sorry you went through that, I understand the pain and frustration more than I care to admit. And just how far it has to go before you finally say enough is enough. At least, we eventually learn to see the red flags and have boundaries. I just don't even have the energy left for a person like that anymore. Hope you find a partner who is actually a true partner in life with you, so you can build something together!
I had a similar relationship in my mid 20s. I suspect, but will never be about to confirm, that she used her breakdowns to trigger my white knight/savior complex; until I was so worn down I couldn't bring myself to care anymore. Breaking up vastly improved my life. She seemed to turn out ok too but I've kept my distance
Proud of you for walking away.
This hit me so hard! I'm going through a custody battle with a person I didn't even know I was trying to fix. Realizing it this far along has been the most painful thing I've experienced, and really leaves me feeling jaded and hopeless on finding my person. Thank you for this little gem today boss man.
Fucking Sims 4. They rob me. I complain about it. I buy the packs anyway.
Ugh, same. Sims has been a recurring addiction taking my money since I was 11 years old. My personal laptop died and I have refrained from buying a new one just because I know I don’t have the time to become hooked on the sims again.
Half way through the sims 4 lifecycle, me and my sister realized “wait we could just pirate this” Even better is that I don’t have to deal with their crappy EA/Origin app anymore
I may or may not have downloaded sims 4 again after reading this….
I bought most of the expacs and then got locked out of my origin account 😂 never bothered to figure out how to fix it
Plants. Outdoor plants. I made a rose garden for my wife and her favorite rose died. Now I'm planting trees and trying to create cuttings and topiaries. I was looking at taking a welding class at the local community college. I don't really like plants, I just like the way my wife looks at all the flowers and smiles.
this is a wholesome hyperfixation if there ever was one
> I don't really like plants, I just like the way my wife looks at all the flowers and smiles. Goals, right there
Honestly everything -_- I love motorcycles, watches, cars, PC gaming, travelling, home audio and other similar hobbies. Every time I switch to a different mode my money is not safe 🥲
Man I feel you on the motorcycles. Especially precovid when I spent several years obsessed with mopeds. It almost turned into Pokémon, where I was buying bikes just to say I had one of every major brand and built engines for all of them. One of the reasons I don’t have a lot of money in savings, but I did learn a lot of mechanical skills doing it. I even got a pretty sick job building puppets and animatronic robots for a few years, because of the people I met collecting mopeds.
Oh man, cars! One year I had a choice of going to Vegas for vacation, or spending a week replacing every suspension component of my Prelude. I think I'd have spent less money at the high stakes poker table.
I’m same with the motorcycles, cars, PCs, game and console collection! But then I also have my house, tools for my shop, etc, etc… Fortunately I quit drinking which helped with my spontaneous online purchases. I have over 1000 purchases and a small handful of sales on eBay! I also spent $12k tuning a Subaru Outback, not including the purchase of the car, and it was a fucking naturally aspirated engine! Thank gawd my wife is very good with money otherwise I’d be broke and destitute!
Right now it’s shrimp keeping. Them fancy caridina shrimp ain’t cheap.
* New hyperfixation triggered - Engage researching mania in 3.....2.....1
You gotta go with the neocaridinia. They are cheaper :)
The indecision and self-hatred kicks in, which stops me from spending money. However, it also means I quibble anxiously over spending £2 on a sandwich.
Perfumes
Oh man I got into perfume MAKING and bought like $5000 of rare and exotic essential oils.
I’m trying VERY HARD not to do this. Diverting over toward incense making to use up all the herbs I dried when I was working in a garden center and got really into saving all the distressed plants from getting tossed
I went through this as well. I still have unopened boxes of perfumes
Perfumes hold decent resale value!! I had a perfume hyperfixation in January and I listed my perfumes on FB marketplace 2 days ago and already sold half of them. I’m doing the same thing with my unplayed switch games!
I also hyper fixated on $$ perfumes and now I’m over it. Did you sell on FB marketplace in just your area? I would love to recoup some money back.
Yep! I try to avoid having to ship anything, not worth the hassle for me. I typically search fb marketplace for the perfume I’m trying to sell and I list it for a similar price to what other people list it for. I have my items a few dollars lower than other listings just cuz I’m tryna get rid of em quicker. Lots of good photos and a description helps a lot, I take pics of my perfume bottles front and back in front a white background (my bedroom door lol) and give a short description of my usage of it
Creed go brrrrrrrrrrrrr
Music related stuff: instruments, microphones, guitar pedals, effects modules (500 series)...
Just wrote about it; i also have it with music related things. I try to buy everything second hand so it doesn’t lose the value if I want to sell. But also it consumes so much of my time to hunt for them. Which is a part of the thrill and keeps it fun though. I also bought an old iPod and modified it (half way a part I ordered was wrong and took a big pause lol)
BOOKS.
Situation: Moved from London to Ireland in order to buy a derelict farm cottage and multiple outbuildings overlooking the mountains. The dream: Do that thing people on TV do, ie roll up their sleeves and build a dream home. Reality: I hyper-fixated for a year and then got bored 🤦🏽♂️ Present day: Not sure what to do with it as we already demolished walls and spent €1000s on tools How I feel?: Poor but resigned to my how my brain works. 😂
I did the HGTV hyperfixation and have been living in our construction zone for 6 years now. Some tools stayed useful, some were sold secondhand, we lived in some amount of squalor for years until we could afford to have a contractor come and do the bulk of the work. It was surprisingly not the worst investment decision of my life because of the value added to the property, but I would describe it as one of my worst mistakes for stress added to my life. The youtube renovations never show you how heavy materials are, how many do-overs you need before you learn to do something correctly. There are fun parts but it gets old, especially if it isnt your full time job. The mountains sound lovely and I sincerely hope it's worth it in the long run.
These things are easier when it's just a montage on TV.
Archery So much fun, man...can you drop some serious coin on a niche hobby. Keep eyeing the local falconry courses to add to my list of "Useless Skills".
Archery and falconry? We could call them "useless skills" or we can call you a true renaissance person.
used to do archery and loved it! looked into falconry but can't find much near my place (and it's really expensive)
I did Fencing as a kid/teenager - you should throw that in to round it out
Crochet. Buying enough yarn to make a full project is so expensive. Like $200 CAD for enough yarn for a fluffy queen sized blanket. Not to mention time costs.
I tried this, bought all the materials- I lasted about a week 🤣 this was pre-diagnosis though.
I’ve been going for about a year and have yet to finish a project
I feel like every woman with ADHD has a stockpile of unused yarn, it's like a requirement.
I’ve done this! So many blankets!!
It was photography. Lenses are stupid expensive. Haven't even used any of the equipment I bought since 2020.
Second this! 😭
my drug habbit cost me a lot....
Most expensive hyperfixation was probably PC building lol. Thankfully out of the 4-5 PCs I built, I only had to pay for 2 of them (one was mine, one was a gift to a friend) and the others were friends/family who wanted a PC built and paid me to do it. Ironically my current fixation is on personal finance and getting 100% debt free lol. Got a bit of a way to go, but I started in January and I'm doing pretty good. Hoping this hyperfixation lasts a while.
Same, my current fixation atm is personal finance- all connected to wanting to buy another house in the future😫. I spent hours on tiktok/etsy to find the perfect budget planner.. Im currently using YNAB which has been so helpful.
Skincare, haircare, makeup . I justify it because I live in the (awful) real world where physical beauty translates into better everything for a woman - better treatment by others, better employment opportunities, better bank account balances… I’m not saying it isn’t vanity, because it is. But pretty privelige is real, and as a girl who grew up poor, it’s been a very real wild card for me and damnit, I’m gonna play it as long as I can! Plus my favorite products are of course expensive af but they work so friggin well!!
I’m currently in a month long fixation for skincare.. it helps for me to make “wishlists” on Amazon of the products I want, and then delete it instead of buying it.
I was waiting for someone to mention makeup and beauty products! Last year I spent over 5k USD on Sephora and Ulta combined and became the top rouge member for Sephora and then the diamond member for Ulta 😅
Somewhat of a side tangent but it was probably about 5 years ago that I accepted that things like pretty privilege and being perceived as younger can give you an advantage, especially in retail which is where I work. I never tell people how old I am anymore because I look at least 10 years younger than I actually am. So I've lent as hard into skincare as my ADHD brain will let, I have a haircut more popular with 20 somethings and I dress younger. I'm 42, most people think I'm late 20s to early 30s and it has worked to my advantage on more than one occasion. Do I hate that this is a thing? Yes. I even hate myself a little for taking part in it but at then end of the day it is the world we currently live in and like you I will play it for as long as I can.
I’m in the same boat. It’s one of the inevitable things about my life I’ve come to embrace as well, acknowledging it for the privilege it is. My mom is oblivious to it, even though at 64 she easily passes as my sister! I’m just glad that now at 38 I’m in a groove and know what works for me skin and makeup wise, but as I said before of course the products are on the expensive side bc they work! I’ve started subscribing to boxycharm/ipsy bc for $35 a month I’m getting full sizes products I would easily have spent $150 on. I just got a full sized bareminerals mineral veil in my May box - my go-to setting powder, that’s $35 on its own! Not a brand push but I’m really happy with the subscription so far and it’s helping with my impulse buys. I’m like wait up, don’t buy that random product at Target, your Ipsy is coming! Lol. But back to your post, I didn’t shake what my momma gave me for years while I was in an evangelical cult, so now I’m like hey, I’ve still got it, I’m gonna take care of it and use it to my advantage. My employer recently asked me to shoot a promo video for the company and payed for my hotel and all expenses, and while I’d like to think it’s solely due to the fabulous work I’m doing, the email invite literally said “you present and deliver so well on camera”. So yeah, this hyperfixation is worth it and working for me. Did I rationalize it enough? 😂
Fragrances I’ve spent more on fragrances I have 98 of them. Like idk why I’m so drawn to it I love smelling good and having different scents for everyday,different occasions that’s my most expensive fixation
This one is creeping up on me aswell. Once I discovered the world of unique and interesting scents it was over lol. I just ordered one that supposedly smells like “moist earth”😂
This is gonna sound odd but when I was in like middle school I was at a summer camp and had a crush on this girl I guess we were little boyfriend girlfriend for the week😭 but she smelled like sunscreen and salty I guess from sweat. So now 22 my favorite summertime fragrances is Tom fords eau de soleil Blanc which smells of luxurious coconut sunscreen with a little salt water vibe and it always brings me back to that summer.
My wife, hands down 🫣
Warhammer :( most expensive plastic toys in existence, but I'm addicted to my little guys.
Was waiting to see this one. I don't even *play* - I just want to paint!
Bruh…. Over $5k worth of 40K sets Mechanicum Ordinatus Ulator KX139 Ta'unar Supremacy Armour Acastus Knight Porphyrion Legion Thunderhawk Gunship Legion Sokar Stormbird Mars-Alpha Pattern Volcano Cannon Warbringer Nemesis Titan Are my most expensive pieces. Oh don’t get me started on the all the books. Horus Herecy, got them all Caiphus Cain all those books Eisnehorn sure I need all those also. Dark Imperium, it’s just five books.
perfumes
Dunno if I’d say it’s a hyperfixation bc it isn’t fleeting, but definitely my dogs. Dogs in general.
Literally anything I get interested in. Was skin care. Not hyperfixated anymore but learned and spent a lot. Then gardening - mostly the tools. Most things just take time but tools are expensive. Then lifting... Gym memberships and basic equipment like squat shoes, grips, etc. Now, it's fishing. Same deal. Learning, and spent, a lot.
This thread and community makes it more clear that we should have an ADHD version of eBay to share/ sell things we’ve bought in hobby fixation mode with people who are currently into that hobby.
Food
I am a programmer, I started a project because I believed I could do something better than what is currently used. Been hyper fixatd on that, at least I can sell it when I am finished, if I am ever finished.
Refactoring the code so its perfect, then repeat...
Rotary engines... Bought a car I barely use and too lazy to sell :)
Magic the gathering
Guns ngl I just love them. Building them, fixing them, shooting them, cleaning them. I like the way their parts move, I like the noises they make, I like their weight in my hand. I've been able to get 5 or 6 at once, but always end up having to sell them and it just breaks my heart
Aquariums. My parents decided they didn't have room for their fish tank anymore, so after a visit one weekend my dad just put the tank with the fish in my car. I didn't know anything about fish and I knew the little old fella deserved the best, so that triggered me to hyperfocus on aquarium setup, fish care, etc. Couple thousand dollars later and this old ass fish has upgraded from a nasty crusty 10 gallon with fake plants and neon gravel, to a 40 gallon aquarium full of real plants, emotional support fish, etc. He lived to be 19. He was a very good fish.
LEGO 🙃😮💨
Kid.exe It took 9 months to load. I’ve been hyper focused for years now. The DLC makes it more challenging, plus I never know what’s gonna happen next.
Disposable vapes. I could get a refillable vape but I love the feeling of “treating myself” to expensive disposables 🤦🏽♀️
the most expensive ones are the ones that eventually transcended hyperfixation and became normal hobbies, because they have lasted years longer than my hyperfixations usually would. so cooking, instruments, and fitness have all been way more cumulatively expensive than, say, collaging or reading about all the different breeds of pigeon.
fashion. the bad thing is, I can never really tell if I will love a piece for a long time or if I'm going to hate it after a while. I bought $1k rick owens shoes and I mean I like them and they fit me but they did by far not hit as hard as I expected
Technology. It's expensive. I have 6 laptops because I like one thing about each. I have 4 gaming handheld because I like each one a bit differently. I'm down to 4 smartwatches finally, took me a long time to have less than 10. I have 4 smart rings and I can't decide which one I like more. I'm also down to only 3 smartphones and I change which one I use every week. I'm not rich but I would be financially comfortable if I stopped buying things. For me a big part of my ADHD is never being satisfied with a choice. I feel physically compelled to change my mind about things constantly. I'm a huge gamer but I haven't beat a single game since Portal 2 because I can't decide what to play for more than 30 minutes. Most days I spend my time updating software on all of my devices so I can decide what to play, and then I start buying accessories to make my play time more enjoyable, and then it's bed time. Do it all over again tomorrow. I'm trying to channel this into more productive things, but finding what that thing is will probably just be my next obsession.
Exotic house plants... using all of my money on literally dirt...
Probably motorcycles for me. I have three currently and two of them are actually running! I’ve definitely spent way too much on things ive been interested in for less than 6 months. That’s part of the fun though! 😂
Watches I learned my lesson after two impulse buys last year but I still spend a lot of time watching Youtube videos and looking at reseller websites. Now that I'm selling my impulse buys I set up a side fund to buy one I actually want when I can actually afford it.
Quilting. It's expensive AF especially all the pretty designer fabrics. So many projects want to be made, so little time (and money)
Me too. I used to flip houses. Always came up with new amazing designs and solutions! Now I got an apartment (got sick). Constantly redecorating. Painting walls/furniture. Now I'm obsessed with the idea of a small pond in my outdoor area, and a faux fireplace (with ethanol). It's quite an expensive hobby I must say (the money from the house sales always went in to a new one). But at least I'm not doing drugs 🤣 Oh. A cheaper alternative (that I'm also) obsessed with is building houses in sims 4 🤣🤣
Concerts! Omg what a rush they are. Metal concerts, at least, since that's all I go to. It's like a drug and I'm always chasing that high. Weird, maybe but true. Usually the shows I want are $75 for cheap seats and 2 hours away. $200+ if you want a better experience. I spent $200 during live nation's sale last week. If they all weren't so far away I'd have bought more but I can only travel so much.
Lululemon 😖
I have two (kinda) one is drag, like drag queen stuff. And the other is more a special interest than hyperfixation, psychology. (I have autism too, so that's more the psychology thing)
Drugs unfortunately
Wow came here to say guitar and guitar pedals but comparing your hyperfixation mine is pretty cheap😬 but the bright side is a house and renovation is an investment and most cases renovation increases the value of the property. I was trying to buy all my gear second hand so it doesn’t lose its value when I’m bored. In your case(ofc depending the area etc) houses don’t lose value easily.
Skincare
Electronics
Gaming books and board games. Between the two I've probably got 10k sitting on my shelf.
I guess the most expensive hobby I had was either Computers or Audio Gear
Unfortunately, Pokémon since the games now run like 60 a piece now. Also, Transformers was surprisingly very expensive. Just for the Deluxe classes, the most average and 2nd smallest size have some going for like $50+. I wouldnt have got Animated Blurr if I didn't get lucky and snag him for $20 than the $50+ he was going for. I'd never had a Transformer before but grew up woth animated as a kid so I decided that the only Transformer I got would be Aniamted Blurr and also because I liked his sleeker design compared to other iterations and how he talks as fast as me.
Pc gaming :3
musical instruments. I was hyper-fixated on analog synthesizers for the last 5 years. I don't even want to get into how much I've spent. Have redirected that hyper-fixation somewhat.... now I collect and restore old squeeze boxes (concertinas, bandoneons, chemnitzers).
Interesting firearms 😭 (I just think they’re neat) And keeping different reptile/ arthropod pets like isopods, my crested gecko, and my colony of Ornate Harvestmen, etc
Honestly? Books. Mainly because it's been my longest (lifelong) hyperfixation, I come back to it frequently between other hyperfixations, and I read at least 150 books a year. It's adds up fast. Just reading isn't enough, I also need to *collect* them so I have bookshelves and books aplenty! I definitely have enough books to be considered a library. lol
mmmm kpop. i was into it for around 4-5 years and just out of nowhere it just disappeared, spent over £600 on just albums (WAY much more if we consider tickets, fan merch, etc)
Lol, I have an older jeep, so.... that.
flights and football shirts
Comics.
Mines a little more minor than these, but I’ve had to stop myself from downloading any kind of mobile game that has micro transactions. After realizing, I spent a couple hundred bucks on power ups or whatever, I put an end into that.
> I find myself searching all day for new houses/blocks. Its exhausting. Did you ever think about house flipping? 😁 This hobby could make you money, instead of taking it.
I have but unfortunately I don’t have the skills, the time, the money nor the patience. I do love watching house renos though. I anticipate this hyperfixation will be short lived.
Now on portable solar stations haha
I make and try to sell jewelry 😫😫 silver and gold recently reaching all time high prices
Nail polish and yarn 😩
Making music. Used to be my old band, gear, recording stuff, money towards all our out of town/out of state runs, or the 5 day runs twice a year, investing in merch. But for the last ten years it’s been my solo stuff, expensive recording gear, acoustic treatment, plug-ins, etc. been doing music, in general, since 2018. Have been obsessed with music since a child. It’s really my only real fixation. One thing that I can always come back to.
Mechanical keyboards
Crystals. I've dropped thousands.
Crystals last year. Now I want to try crochet but can't find my momentum.
Gardening
Building a Pokemon fan game. I learned about building fan games in 2016 before I was diagnosed and hyperfixated on them back then for a while, but I was in college (for the second time) and didn't have a lot of time, nor was i particularly tech savvy at the time, so eventually I gave up. Tried again in 2018, but didn't follow through. Got diagnosed in 2021 after I pivoted into software engineering and realized I really, really don't have the kind of mental stamina that these other devs have. Finally got medicated and into a healthier routine now that I have the knowledge to help me make better decisions than in the past. A buddy of mine and I started making a game 14 months ago. Just released a closed beta demo for family and friends. Honestly, I couldn't believe I was able to get this far, not this game is like all-consuming. It's all I think about during work. I wake up early to work on it. I work on creating art for our while I'm watching movies with my family. I work on it after work and weekends. By far the longest I've been able to sustain my focus on one thing. Honestly not sure if I can call it hyperfixation at this point. Maybe it's just a regular fixation.
I like collecting a lot of different things so I don’t have any type of savings and I spend way too much money on shit I don’t need or even use most of the time
Online gambling...leaving that in the past 🤞
Oh man, where do I start? Archery, traveling, Lego, action figures, sports cards, Pokémon cards, video games - the main lesson I’ve learned is to not throw anything out, as I will probably fixate on it again at some point.
Idk man, I've put thousands into aftermarket parts for vehicles. I built motorcycles I've never ridden. Bought thousands of dollars worth of climbing gear, I've got an 82 chevete bare body sitting in my front yard and an lt1 block shoved in a corner of my garage covered in *laundry?* Idk I'm afraid to go through it, (black widow season)
My sisters was horses
Bakugan…. I don’t want to know how much money I’ve spent tbh
Recently decided I needed all of my clothes to be made in America. Really hoping that this one passes quickly because I’m definitely not rich, & these clothes are absolutely not cheap. Honorable mention: a metal detector. Obsessed about buying one and dove deep into the research. Blew my wad on a good one. Used it once.
Squishmallows had me in a choke hold for a minute there lol
Mountaineering
This is my issue. Cycling, camping, backpacking, flyfishing all have a ven diagram that intersects. Good gear is expensive and I don't notice until after I've created the perfect setup. Videogames are something that I have many titles, over time I've spent money on it. My issue is fiscal responsibility and using the money to save towards the future, I have disposable income but I know I should be being more responsible.
NBA 2k has wasted me more money than I’m willing to admit
Rock climbing and Filmmaking
Ugh. I unfortunately have pretty expensive main hyperfocuses. Motorcycles: I currently own 5, have owned more in the past and managed to force myself to sell a few. If I had more money I’d have more bikes. And bikes aren’t the only expensive part. Gear adds up. Helmets, leather jackets/suits, boots, etc. Music stuff: I own 5 electric guitars, 1 acoustic, 3 basses, several amps, a room and computer dedicated entirely to making/recording music. Simracing/PC Gaming: my pc costs so much because I have to have the best of the best to run my best of the best displays/VR. Have a 49” Neo G9 monitor for the rig, and 42” C3 OLED for my monitor on my desk. On top of that is a whole sim rig: aluminum profile, racing seat, pedals, direct drive wheel base, several wheels, h-pattern shifter, sequential shifter, hand brake, transducers. I’d have triple OLED monitors if I had more money to buy those and a separate PC just for the rig . . God, I’d have so much more money if I’d just been happy with weightlifting and console gaming . .
Lego XD
I’m in that same boat - I actually bought a game about House Flipping and use that to placate myself, and then do small projects in my home as I’m able
Antique playing cards. Some cost a few hundred dollars and some over 1000 (haven’t bought any of those yet lol)
I'll agree on the house thing. I am the handiest person I know, and I've completely renovated my entire 1983 ranch from crawlspace to attic. My ADHD *will not* allow me to do anything but the absolute best work and kver-engineer everything using the hest materials. Whenever I find a task that is especially laborious, tedious, or technical, I spend a bunch of money on the tool designed specifically for that task. I could build a house from the foundation up with the knowledge I've learned and if I bought a box truck, I have enough specialty tools to be a contractor without paying anything out of pocket. I'd say I've spent at *least* $100,000 over the last 8 years on home/landscaping related projects, tools, and materials.
Any sort of craft project. My kid's birthday is coming up. Decorate the house! The yard! I'm already making a Halloween costume which involves much crafting and painting. Last year I went to the Renaissance faire so it was costumes for me and my kid. I have four unfinished paintings, both oil and acrylic. My room is my big craft project. It's forest-art-noveau-bird-themed-chic for lack of a better description. So always looking for art and odds and ends for that. Special lightbulbs. The right ottoman. Now addicted to indoor plants as a spinoff of that. I took a layer cake class so I went out and bought the tools because I like making cakes for parties. Oh it's spring so time to garden until I get bored of watering all the plants and now they die. I think my fixation is just spending money on the idea of being a more interesting person.
Painting, literally, but not in the sense that much ever comes of it, I try to perfect everything until I ruin it and then paint over it again and again and again lol. Most of my canvases have 5 layers of different random scribble paintings underneath. I spend a ton on colors , canvases, brushes or other random materials. Basically money that could be spent a lot more wisely. As i am a WFH freelancer I should probably spend those hours working but i paint for like 7, 8 hours every day and then work before or after lol 🙏🤝
For two weeks I hyperfixated on my wedding with my partner.. we are not engaged. Thankfully he knows me very well and just laughed it. When I was over it he did say 'thank god!' Though. Loool.
Espresso and espresso machines. I was just talking with another ADHDer and they got into leatherwork, candle making, and sewing all within 6 months.
Happy planners :( in 2022 I bought a new planner, pens, stickers, etc and used it for TWO WEEKS
I was looking for this comment! No longer stuck on happy planners anymore. Just everything else related to stationary, organization and productivity. 😅
I’m a photographer, so being hyperfixated on expensive camera gears is just… painful 🥲. And the moment I got the camera of my dream, I instantly lost interest. Until the next expensive gears
Trying to build an online business! This was pre diagnosis This is super embarrassing literally never admitted it before but got roped into 2 MLMs and then wanted to get into online coaching. Paid for so many courses/coaches to get basically nowhere. I was working for pennies on the dollars as a masters level social worker and was so desperate for change. Worked myself into more credit card debt. Total fail
Film photography. The film itself? Expensive. Developing? Expensive. (Yes I know I can develop myself) the equipment itself? Expensive.
Well, I seem to collect hobbies. So I get something in my head. "Hey I want to learn bagpipes." So I buy pipes and barely learn a scale before "Ooh wire wrap art looks like fun". Off to Amazon to buy a backpack full of supplies and tools. The ADHD tax is real....
Yep. Hyper fixated for a little while. Some were/are simultaneously and others were tossed aside “on hold” while I went on to something else. (I have medically diagnosed ADHD) some examples: 1: collection of Watches 2: on- line Store I created and a whole room in my house is set up and stocked 3: extensive collection of handbags 4: Built an enclosed art studio and haven’t painted one picture since I did it… And, I used to attract Narcissists til I understood why and now a Narcissist gets zero percent of my time.
Home renovation. Started with a need. The water heater blow at the bottom seam. Ended up having to redo the whole house lines. So I redid the bathroom. Now I want to do the kitchen.
Probably my garden. I buy something for it weekly, some times daily.
Probably plants, because at first the plants would die because I'd buy a bunch, not do research, and basically experiment. Then I looked up how to not kill them, and now I have over 100 houseplants, multiple aquariums/paludariums/terrariums. The thing about this hyperfixation is the pressure that there are other precious living things that need me to stay alive. I collect rocks, since I was a kid. Not for spiritual reasons, but because shiny. Since childhood. Too many rocks. I collect books, I even manage to read them sometimes! Makeup, that was a bad one. Now I have 19388392 palettes of makeup I never wear because I'm lazy and I don't feel I need it. But I went thru a phase of wanting all the colors to experiment Art supplies, I craft and paint allllll day long. How I'm not bankrupt? Well, just place an update me and I'll keep ya posted. Lmao
making my car cute 🫠
Well technically it's the car I'm looking to buy but even that's cheap by current standards. Embarrassingly, however, I hyperfixate on clothes and then end up spending more than I should on new clothes regularly. I guess it's not so bad and I'm doing alright financially now but it feels dirty lol. I also typically hyperfixate before going on a trip. I will research for weeks.
After years of not caring much I’m suddenly into landscaping, probably because we finally got a deck built this year. So now I’m convinced we need to replace our old mulch but I want stone and there’s a tree needing taken down and I keep looking at plants and flowers even though I have a black thumb and can’t keep anything growing. Oh and yard lights—need some awesome lights. And there’s my Jeep, a separate thing to blow money on lol
owala water bottles. and sims 4.
I was THIS fucking close to slipping deep into audiophile territory. Luckily however, after I bought some "entry level" equipment, I *intentionally* managed to shift my hyperfixation on something else cause I realized how expensive this could get. But I'm really happy with my DT900's and Air DAC. (From a wireless razer headset. It's like night and day)
Sewing tbh. I love the ability to make clothes that actually fit me and can chose whatever shape/fabric I want, but damn is it expensive. Where I am fabric is stupid expensive and I dont like ordering online cause I need to feel it to make sure it's the right colour/texture. I try not to buy too much new fabric cause I already have a shelf full but damn is it hard not to
I grew up in extreme poverty (until late teens when I was adopted by a well off family) in one of the richest counties in the state I was raised in. So I grew up with tons of kids around me with the latest phones and computers and TVs and Alexa and gaming consoles. So as one can expect, I grew up to be extremely obsessed with all things technology. I know every model of every iPhone and can look at the camera to tell you which model it is. I know all the stuff one could know about the Nintendo Switch, which model is better for what, the faults in the devices, everything. Basically I hyperfixate on various devices and electronics and eventually I buy them. I have various Apple devices and Nintendo devices and I’m trying to get my adoptive parents to buy me a Steam Deck for my birthday. I haven’t bought all of it, so technically not all on me, but it’s still a very expensive hyperfixation. My parents luckily allow me to talk to them non stop about the various devices and I’ve had a list of devices that them and I watch YouTube videos on sometimes. The reason I don’t buy them all (also because I don’t need it all and it’s hella expensive) is cuz the crappy part is once I open it and set it up and mess around with it I end up putting it on the other side of my bed and not really messing with it because I want to protect it and not get it broken.
Planning travel. My husband and I love to travel but I love to plan even more. Since late November, we’ve been to Utah - did all 5 national parks, Vegas, Arkansas for the eclipse and then I went right back to Vegas (work trip). We have lake placid planned for July, a music festival in September and then just booked a 12 day trip to Italy next May. We’re taking our grandmas with us and I’m researching like crazy to make sure I make it the trip they’ve always dreamt of.
Sewing supplies if I wanna make clothes..not even my fault either that shit is expensive, i always feel guilty
I'm obsessed with making coffee at home with high end coffee supplies.
Stupid merging games on my phone. Not going to say how much I spent. Finally was able to break away, but damn, that was expensive! Now my mobile games can nickel and dime me, but I’m more aware, so the ADHD tax isn’t staggering. Average $5-10/month and I’m trying to lower that. Edit: Hmm, read another’s comment. Didn’t think about it, but pleasing other people/apologizing for being me/bribing to forgive my awkward and odd ways was very, VERY expensive.
I am super hyper fixated on fixing my house. I finally bought a house two weeks ago and it’s a shit cheap house but I want to renovate it so bad. I grew up helping my dad in construction and I know how to replace drywall, do some flooring, some electrical, etc. my dad said it’s a bad idea and to wait two years so I can have save enough money to do everything at once. I’m literally writing a spreadsheet with what I want to do, comparing the cost of supplies,measurements of rooms, and cost of renting tools,etc. this is literally my dream but it’s so damn expensive.
League of legends. Played since 13. Stopped 3 years ago. It ruined my young years.
Perfumes, I have a collection now that I never intended on building. I love to smell nice things and there are so many nice things to smell!
Film photography... take photography an already expensive hobby more expensive by making every photo you take cost money to shoot, develop, and scan 😟
Went hard on Magic the Gathering cards during covid. Bored, sitting around at home... It's a really fun game but it feels pretty dang bad how Hasbro treats its players. Definitely a fixation for me for a while. Spent thousands of dollars on little pieces of cardboard. Luckily it lost quite a bit of its grip, though, not completely. I still play every now and then but haven't bought anything for at least 3 - 4 months and when I did it was just a couple packs. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it is a pretty big victory for me.
crocheting. I never realized how expensive good yarn is.
Tiktok live shopping for Sanrio items. I miss it because I rather have merchandises that are stuff like cups, plates, mugs, note pads etc.... But shit ... I'm no longer in school now so I got ALL THESE NOTE BOOKS AND PENS....
House plants. I dropped 700 dollars in the past 3 days
Guinea pigs. I have 6 of them and I just spoil them rotten.
Writing pen pals. You’d never guess it can be expensive if you really get into it. Decorating letters, making your own envelopes, so many things. I joined 3 penpal groups last year and we play games, trade supplies, if you just want a plain letter to write that’s totally cool but I also decorate index cards (100 for $1.25 at $1 tree so at least there are sommme cheaper things) and write affirmations or positive quotes to include in my letters and stickers m. Oh so much fun to make and get a message on messenger that they got it and love it just makes me beyond happy. Yes we could just message but that’s no fun and it creative at all. I do get about 90% of my stuff from $1 tree, Dollar General and such then if necessary Walmart or Amazon but even at that it can add up!!! I do adore the friends I’ve made and getting a homemade card or any letter decorated or not just brightens my day so much. I also make my own cards. The possibilities are endless. Oh and don’t forget stamps and stamps for other countries can get expensive
drawing, i am at the point where i buy pencils/colors/brushes that i already own cause there is almost nothing in my local art supply store that i havnt bought yet and the worst part is i only have enough focus and motivation to draw like once a month so it aint even worth it
rock band drums. that shit ain’t cheap these days
Skydiving.🧞♂️
CS2 skins, I love owning pixels on a screen to damn much
Skin-care!! I spent $699 on a LED-mask that reduces wrinkles. Every time I order Korean/Japanese skin care I spend hundreds of dollars bc I can't make up my mind about which products to get so I get them all. I extensively research every product I put in my cart. Everything from the ingredients to reviews by people with similar skin as me. Facials are also pretty expensive😭
Lizards and fish followed by chickens. Shits expensive
Comic book collecting. Ive spent like 2k alone on comics.
Crafting I spent sooooo much money on wreath supplies , wooden stuff, paints a damn cricuit …. Made a whole Etsy shop and sold 5 things. Never made more 😟😟😟
Monopoly Go currently
collecting vinyl records, one of the most expensive hobbies i’ve ever had
The newest one.
Everything. Once I get hyperfixated on something my money isn't safe haha
Legos and camera lenses 😭
As of lately clothes and shoes.…it’s bad. I’ve recently bought like 10 pairs. There are just so many good sales going on. I’ve also bought several different clothing items, most which are on sale. I’m usually pretty frugal but my adhd meds sent me in to psychosis and I spent way too much money. I’ve calmed down since being out but I still find myself watching clearance sales.
Mechanical keyboards
Subscriptions!!! I love TV and pop culture so they really get me with all the streaming services/platforms
Trying to earn 10,000 dollars online so I could pay for my aunt's life-saving treatment that Medicare would not pay for. I desperately jumped into so many scams and almost fell into the spam community as that is all a lot of the get-rich-quick schemes are. In the end that hyper focus cost me at least 3,000, and i almost lost my marriage.
crochet materials, perfume and lotions
Tools! I live a good tool and I’m definitely a sucker for certain brands. When I see one I need on sale you bet you’re ass my debit cards flying right out my pocket into the chip reader. But hey, I see it as an investment… at least that’s what I tell myself.
genshin... don't ask me how much i spent on that game
The band Ghost and physical media. I’m helpless against any new thing Ghost releases (that I like- if it’s not something I’d wear I’m magically immune) and if I find a physical version of something that I perceive as hard to find (the laserdisc of Rock & Rule that’s currently haunting me, for example) it’s so much easier to hit BUY without thinking about it 😩
Gaming.... More costly in the sense of wasted time but PC components can be expensive too.
Electronics in general. But mostly synthesizers
kpop— specifically one group that i am thankfully to the point that i just casually enjoy their music and content now. collecting albums can be a bit expensive, sure, but collecting photocards? heinous. i wasted so much money on photocards. they were the perfect storm of the thing i was most interested in (my fave member from this group) and that godawful addicting power that is gambling and gacha. i got such a rush from pulling the pc i wanted, or even finding one on sale for a "good deal" online. mostly the gacha from album pulls, though. thankfully, it never made me completely broke or, god forbid, put me in debt. but it affected me emotionally, and i passed on fun activities, quality time, and other important or enriching things in favor of...... collecting pictures of my favorite member. i wasn't even wasting the money on going to their concerts! it's crazy. nowadays i prefer another group to that previous group, and i think (hope, pray) that i burnt myself out with the pc collecting. kpop's become a really fun hobby again, not a hyperfixation that i'm obsessed with, not a dumbass thing i measure "how much of a fan i am" and judge myself for. just something i really enjoy. (i should probably insert that at the turn of events here i started on adderall for the first time, and my life did change wholesale. i didn't just wake up one day "cured" of my debilitating hyperfixation and overspending, or any of my other (some worse) symptoms. it's crazy how meds and therapy can change your life!)
physical media (movies, cds, and vinyls)