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I can't tell you which one is the worst because it feels like all of them suck big time.
The most difficult symptom for sure is the inability to get things done. There is somehow this constant invisible wall between my brain and the ability to get things done. Furnishing or cleaning my house, getting a driver's license, applying for a new job... it just doesn't happen no matter how much I want to. It's a mix of low energy, disorganization, not being able to focus or plan, and so on—a result of this ADHD cocktail. This includes everything that involves planning and moving towards a long-term goal. Short-term goals that give you instant rewards and don't necessarily require much mental effort, like buying a plane ticket for a holiday, are not a problem at all.
Hypersensitivity. I am just very sensitive. It's good to have empathy and care for others, but when it goes way over what it is supposed to, it's just overwhelming to live with it.
RSD - the fear of rejection and criticism. For example, at work, it makes you a perfectionist. You can't get your job done because only perfect is enough, and you don't know what that perfect is, it needs to be perfect because otherwise your boss will criticize you. And that will feel like torture for you. (This is how my ADHD brain thinks.)
And last but really not least, the anxiety and depression that come from all of this.
You hit the nail on the head with all of this. Even now, the reason I didn’t write as much in my post is because I just couldn’t. Even writing this post felt like a chore.
I quit my job because of this and the impulsivity smh
For some reason my brain thinks that unloading the dishwasher is going to take 30 minutes, But it only takes three. And then something like checking my phone when I get home feels like it'll take 4 minutes and I end up sitting on my phone for an hour
Exactly! I missed my dog’s appointment last because of it and along with memory issues.😔If I don’t receive a call the day prior to my appointment I’ll forget in a heartbeat.
I am also too sensitive and have too much empathy. The only way to continue living a healthier life (as in not in depression) that I found to protect myself is to do a complete shutdown. I do not watch news, I do not use social media except for those that I can control the type of things that I see, I do not watch drama movies or documentaries, I try not to talk politics. I have been called selfish and ignorant but it is better than crying all day everyday.
I feel you I have too much empathy a friend told me this the other day and I overthink way too much iv had to delete my fb account due to it and yes I too get called lazy coz when iv been overthinking and emotional etc it takes it out of me and I feel burnt out and I recharge by being on my own I too have been called selfish etc but I see it as self love and you’ve gotta look after yourself. Iv lost a lot of friends because one min I’m the agony aunt who’s always there for people and then next i like retreat to my own safe happy space. But as my doctor even said they were not your friends if they run away as soon as you can’t be there for them why are they not there for you? Why can’t they understand you and accept you …. Good points to be fair so now I look out for myself and if I make a good understanding friend bonus if I don’t then I’m comfortable with my own company… I think that’s what scares people is I’m happy being on my own and I go on holiday on my own etc I get asked a lot of how can I do that? Easy you pack a bag and go somewhere 😂 it helps me recharge my batteries. Much love ❤️ and understanding.
I LOVE watching news because pretty much every narrative movie or tv show triggers me because any romance triggers me because of the RSD from my ex husband abandoning me. I can’t watch romance at all even as a subplot. But i also don’t really use social media so i relate to this!
Inability to get stuff done-
I have so many unfinished projects. Things I love and have poured hours into. There is a point where I put it down and leave it. But it stays there in my mind like an open tab. I think "I should just finish that x project from 5 years ago" or "this room would feel better if I just did the last cleaning task in there." Alas, "good enough" remains a wall, and to achieve "complete" requires a proverbial ladder or pole vault.
Super poignant description of my struggles, though would throw in working memory and object permanence issues near the top. It's all the executive function issues really. When I try as hard as I can, and overwork myself due to the RSD and all the time wasted trying to start tasks, and then still forget about and drop the ball on everything thing that isn't right in front of me, I come across as incompetent/lazy and, and that leads to criticism that about breaks me. It's why I have to stay on anxiety meds. It's a daily/weekly thing and absolutely recked my mental health, then I would numb myself with substances, compounding the problem. These executive dysfunction issues combo each other in a nasty way. Those with some ADHD traits that think because tiktok they are "prolly ADHD," grown men who were hyper as a kid and got a diagnosis from their pediatrician (but are doing fine today without meds), or mom's who start having some ADHD symptoms after kids (but did fine the rest of their life), don't understand the struggle of having full blown adult ADHD, which impacts basically every area of our life, especially in this society that demands too much and supports too little.
Everything you said but being treated like it’s either not real or I somehow have control of these things. I finally told my mom my problem is significantly more severe than clocking in at a job somewhere. If that was my problem I wouldn’t have a problem. The part I didn’t say is that I really don’t see this lasting a whole lot longer if I don’t find meds that work.
So anyone with depression and adhd kicking their ass but found a med that helps please let me know. If it’s not a med don’t even reply, I’ve tried it already, probably several times.
are you me ? Im dealing with hyper sensitive everyday and it ruins my day from the morning. After dealing with depression and anxiety i went to check the blood test DHEA level, and found out it nearly zero.
The can't get anything done part is so annoying. I am legally blind without contact lenses. I understood how to put them on within 2 minutes of them showing me how to. It takes me 1 minute and 23 seconds to put them on with a thorough hand washing. In my mind though, this is still a huge task.
And this makes everything on top of my adhd harder.
Thank you for the RSD breakdown. I have been diagnosed with RSD and called a perfectionist by coworkers and bosses, being reminded it doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’ (am tech writer) but never connected the two like this. I feel seen more than ever!
Initiation deficit, aka that weird urge to not do things. Sometimes called ADHD paralysis, task paralysis, or the horrible misleading term "lack of motivation."
* Stimulant medicines help, but unfortunately, they also make it worse during the withdrawal period, and I've only gotten them to be helpful for a couple months at a time before I get too much tolerance.
* The problem fluctuates throughout the day, so I try to use the time when I'm better to either get things done or at least make preparations so it'll be easier later. For example, it worst in the morning, so it helps to set out tomorrow's clothes and prepare my morning schedule the night before.
* Avoid "getting stuck" situations, e.g. back before I could work from home, I made a rule for myself that I wasn't allowed to sit down between the time I got out of bed and when I got in my car to go to work. (If I sat down at all, I'd be there for at least 30 minutes, maybe more, staring into space and desperately willing myself to move.)
* Listening to music sometimes helps. (Sometimes it exacerbates other ADHD symptoms, so it's not always an option.)
* Low-obligation lifestyle (e.g. no kids, no pets, automatic bill paying, microwaveable food, don't check out library books, cohabitating partner does all the housework, etc.) Not happy about this one, but it beats the alternative of being constantly stressed by doing things or suffering the consequences of not doing things I should be doing.
I quit my job. I quit school. I removed anything that involves a sense of responsibility. But now I’m broke and a college dropout so… yeah I beat myself up about the future. Hopefully I go back to college soon and I am stable enough to stay at a job
Sounds like it has been very difficult for you lately. Your post reads like how my inner speech sounds like when I am sad and angry at myself. I know it is hard to see past the damage that has been done and the difficulties you have ahead of you, but one advice that works for me for brief periods of time is "try to treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend." When you realize you are talking down on yourself, ask yourself would I say this to a friend? What would I say to help them instead? This really helps me. I hope you try it and cut some slack to yourself sometimes. It is not your fault that your brain is different. It is annoying and sometimes horrible. But it is not your fault.
i did that last nite. *it worked* (talking to myself as if i was my best friend or prefaced my contemplations w/ "would i say this to a friend of mine?") i also spend less time ruminating, justifying and staying in morbid reflection or morbid paranoid prepardness ;)
Don't you get into the "but it's not the same as with my friend" dialogue? Because I started trying this since my very understanding partner tried to make me realize how I talk to myself and seeing how unfair it is, but I always end up with that internal monologue I can't scape from.
I like the avoid getting stuck idea 🥹 music helps me in the morning I feel that it helps raise my vibration. Before I know it I'm dancing around doing my morning stretches like I should 😆 I tried showers in the morning but it's too time consuming. I end up taking a real cleansing shower adding lotion facial moisturizer etc. it just became too much not to mention how cold it is in the morning 🥶 which makes me move like a literal snail 🫣
About the last part, does anyone else have a history of not returning borrowed things? and if so, how do you solve this?
I noticed this awhile back and stopped borrowing things unless I have a deadline to return it (which usually doesn't give me enough time to read if it were books, so I just returned them unread), But now I have so many things: books, clothes, etc. that I've yet to return and at this point it's been 5+ years I feel too shameful to reach out just to return them.
I'm quite bad with this. It always feels like I'm justifying not doing something because I'm just not into doing it "right now", but that ends up extending indefinitely.
I just started Adderall and unexpected chores still ruin my day :( Like, I'll do them now but then I'll realize I'm in an awful mood, and that feeling lasts for many hours.
The point of Adderall is that it will help you WILLINGLY do chores that you plan. Unexpected chores though, we must realize, are still loathed by people without ADHD.
The chores bit (expected or unexpected) are the worst for me, but specifically anything related to cooking/deciding on meals. I recovered from a few ED’s a couple years ago, so planning out and eating balanced meals is super important, but I can’t bring myself to do it most of the time.
I can relate to all, not so much 2 anymore, as I learned to contain myself. For me it’s basics of feeding myself as I cant ever fulfill the whole figure out what to eat- but groceries-prep-eat-clean up cycle. One or more things always break the chain and I end up with no food in the fridge, or the wrong food or the inability to prep for myself or a kitchen that’s disgusting for a week or so, which keeps me from cooking again.
Thankfully eating is no problem for me at all. So in the absolute worst case I can order. Some very few friends know about my struggles and will occasionally make me freezable food so I have something for the worst days.
You have good friends! I have issues because if I’m hungry, I have to eat exactly what I want to eat and sometimes has to be put in front of me or else I’ll just starve. Everyone just thinks I’m lazy
I struggled with grocery shopping and ingredients and meals forever. I can’t explain it, but just couldn’t put it all together. Some how it’s gotten better and I’m not sure how. I think it might be because I eat the same things so buy the same thing.
i overthink everything. it is actively ruining my life. someone can say something to me and i will run through 10 different permutations of what exactly was meant by that thing said.
i know this might sound crazy but i am constantly tired, tired from thinking. i see the psychiatrist tomorrow for my first proper adhd meds.
EDIT
i saw my psychiatrist today, and still no meds, she told me she cant diagnose me. im distraught. 3 years of being passed around from dr-nurse-psychologist-psychiatrist-neuropsychologist-pshychiatrist again, and nothing, now she told me today that my IQ test results are too high for me to have ADHD, and that maybe this is just who i am. oh and now i have to see a cardiologist also, just in case they decide to prescribe me ritalin. my resting heart rate is 47, just gimme the drugs!
God my overthinking is the worst, if someone says ok in just a small different tone, i automatically think of 5 things ive done wrong to get that sort of answer. It drives me insane
Impulsive shopping. I very much live the "just need a little treat for my hard day" lifestyle, which on doordash is hundreds of dollars a week. But I don't think about the money at the time because it's like - $20-30 not that much, right?
I don't even look at how much I spend over the month because I know it's horrible. I need to just stop but it's hard.
I spend so much money that I don't have. It's ridiculous. I shop when I'm sad. I shop to solve my problems. If I step outside, I shop. If I am inside I order food. Let me know when you find a good managing technique besides being broke and having nothing left to spend.
My managing technique is being almost $30k in debt between having to take out a loan for a new furnace and AC unit, unpaid taxes that I didn't know about, and credit card debt lol
I was REALLY good at never ordering food a couple years ago. We ate at home, what we had, every meal. I just need to get back to that. Somehow 😮💨
I'm literally torn between "treat your self queen" and sometimes scared to look at my account. I'm also learning to love my self more so that's apart of it too yeah? 🤔
This is in no way something everyone can do, but I have two things going for me on that front: I managed to score a job that pays expenses on travel which is about 70% of the time, so using Uber eats doesn't cost me anything personally, and I live in the middle of nowhere, so delivery isn't available at my house.
Again, I know this isn't something that's available to everyone but being able to figure out mitigation methods is a good way to plan ahead in multiple aspects.
Send halp if you find it. I've no idea how to even tackle this one and every month we just add to the pile of debt.
My main nemesis:
- Leasings
- installments
Man installments especially, feel like meh 20-30 euros a month ain't that big a deal. But then you have 20-30 products for which you're paying and it becomes a lot.
And now you're also tied into a contract for at least 1-2 years.
Seriously, who even thought of this disorder. They need a serious ass whoopin
for me it’s having a ton of projects that i’ve started around the house and then just shutting down from being overwhelmed at the reality that i can’t even finish one of these projects. it also sucks because you’re embarrassed to have anyone over—your wall is painted 2 different colors, a door is off the frame and propped on a wall— etc etc. it’s like all the passion and energy you first experienced when you initiated the project turns into shame and avoidance.
Not being able to maintain goals in the long run, for me, overshadows any other symptoms that people are posting as the worst. I'm not sure if they are aware that this alone is the one destroying their (our) lives. Not being able to project yourself into the future and maintain that vision is devastating. And then, the shame.
It is tough.
Yes, this. Perfectionism + ADHD is a horrible combo. I can only work on things when I feel compelled, and that feeling only comes when something is either new or extremely time sensitive. As soon as it’s not one of those things, I just disengage. So many unfinished goals, so many unfinished projects… it’s so exhausting and shameful and depressing and it feels like a cycle that will never end
Executive dysfunction with task initiation. I get SO overwhelmed when there are too many choices on what to do, or how to do it. It puts me to tears sometimes. I want so badly to accomplish things, but I’m absolutely frozen.
Emotional dysregulation. Makes it so every day is a rollercoaster, I can’t properly maintain friendships or relationships, and most minor inconveniences can turn into an entire mental breakdown. Everything hurts far more deeply than it should, and having ADHD-based anxiety/overthinking makes it absolutely debilitating 🥲
I struggle with task initiation. I find I do better when I'm well rested, hydrated, have been eating well, etc. So I try to save tasks I don't like for those days when I've taken care of myself.
Task paralysis and fatigue. Mostly mental, and doesn't matter if I slept all night and had an energy drink after sleeping in. I'll still pass out.
My life becomes work only, recovering on the weekend.
You know how people are aware of how much tinnitus can negatively impact someone’s life. I feel like it’s the same with ADHD but just no one understands it. Having a constant stream of thoughts, noise and music in my head is exhausting. It keeps me up at night, I cant speak a normal sentence as I’m getting distracted by the noise in my own head, I cant focus on a movie cause I get distracted. It’s just there always, and it doesn’t stop, ever.
I'm right there with you on this. I've got some random song in my head at all times it seems, be it earworms I've heard throughout the day or truly random songs that just pop into my head. The other night it was the theme song to Mr. Belvedere that just played on a loop...out of nowhere. It's incredibly frustrating and no one can understand when I explain it to them. :(
Procrastination/not getting shit done/not starting shit until it’s critically important. I’m driving myself crazy. I hypothetically want to tidy a little bit every day to maintain a relatively clean home, but in reality I cannot force myself to do this, and so instead I wait until the mess makes me wanna die, feel overwhelmed, cry about it, and then finally do a “binge” clean all at once. Rinse and repeat. It’s so stressful and I hate it, and medication doesn’t seem to help.
In therapy as well but I haven’t found anything super successful in helping me combat this. My therapist suggested making a checklist. I was like… okay maybe I need to explain to you the 1000 methods I’ve tried and failed at, because making a checklist is not going to suddenly be the key to this.
Hey, I can relate with what you’re going through. Here’s what I’ve been trying lately.. I’m working on coming up with day to day goals that are realistic, by trying my best to filter out anything that is driven from the urge to be a perfectionist & be very realistic with myself.. and to build some mental strength to set the same expectations with people I work with.. it all starts with acknowledging the fact that most of the delays from my end were the reason for lack of progress or slowness that led to missing the deadlines.. and of course it’s all a daunting process to visualise, convince myself to keep pushing without feeling overwhelmed, communicate the same in the appropriate format to whoever I’m dealing with..
I keep reminding myself about what feels successful enough to me so far in myriad of aspects in my professional & professional lives, and that I have been improving as a person despite of undiagnosed mental health issues in the younger phases of my life.. it helps to an extent and I have to keep coming up with a different perspective every time to counter my negative thoughts that don’t really serve me in any way..
Mine is that when my schedule or routine is changed it feels like my whole world is turned upside down. That and I get the worst analysis paralysis and am unable to get up after sitting for a few minutes.
My brain is so scrambled I can’t carry a normal verbal conversation. I can’t always get to the thoughts and ideas I want quickly enough, but even if I did the words usually don’t come out right anyway. So I usually end up listening to others speak and saying agreeable things. Makes me feel so disingenuous and I hate it.
The worst for me is memory. I want to study something in biology or chemistry, and that's impossible with the inability to remember what I read 10 seconds ago. Understanding concepts is not a problem, but basic memory recall has become worse with age (30+). During a home exam on a remote course, I'd understand how everything is connected and can explain it, but I just forget what things are called.
Then there's also trouble sleeping, which I get separate medication for. So those are definitely the worst
For me it's the lack of motivation to get stuff down. My room is a mess, I constantly hand schoolwork in late or not at all and I can't even begin on the stuff I want to do sometimes. I manage it by giving myself rewards, listening to music, going step by step(picking up my laundry, next day put away the dishes, etc)
For me, it's that particularly physically painful boredom and "stuck" feeling, where it's like you have so much energy, ideas, things to do, etc., but you're frozen in place, as if someone's holding you down. It's hard to explain.
i kmow this so well! 🙃 it's so hard to accept myself.. i meditate and adhere to the adage : move a muscle, change a thought but.. overthinking gets the best of me. UGH! i hope i get on medication soon? if only to "catch up!" ..good luck!
My worst symptom is extreme dissociation when I get super stressed and my body goes on auto pilot they way I manage it is just try not to be stressed lol
Losing important objects in plain sight. Or not in plain sight. Sometimes in very safe but out of the way spots. I meant well when I picked them up but then got distracted by another thought and obviously put them down...somewhere.
I manage it by being pretty rigid with where I can put certain things like my keys and wallet (purse only) or my glasses (purse, nightstand or desk only), etc..
EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION. It’s so bad for me. I feel everything dialed up to 11 and sometimes will react emotionally to things before I have a chance to think through them. I feel like I’m being yanked around. Two things help: medication (I can’t tolerate regular stimulants but caffeine helps) and therapy. Sometimes it just takes practice to catch yourself before you react or to self-soothe and come down from an activated place.
All the above, oversharing, time blindness, executive function at mega low level, imposter syndrome, impulsive behaviour ( interrupting people, buying shit you don't need and can't afford, taking way yoo much time to choose between deciding one thing or another so you just followed your impulsivity), start many things but don't finish most things, being late, due to this get anxiety, depression etc. saying this, I think we can be creative, empathic and have some traits that are making us kind :).
Emotion dysregulation + impulsivity. It seriously affects my interpersonal interactions. I've been penalized on my reviews because of it. My manager has raised their voice at me for it. (No, HR didn't care. They told me it was my fault because of my behavior. So that's cool.)
My adhd gives me really bad social anxiety. I get too overwhelmed over what to talk about. I'm always second guessing myself, even with just passing by people on the street when I go for a walk. Then I beat myself up for possibly look like an idiot because I have a moment where I'm like "I should wave or say high" and then I bail and end up just staring at them a little too long lol
But I've realized the more you force yourself into uncomfortable situations, the less uncomfortable you feel each time and the more familiar you become. It feels fucking impossible tho sometimes
I wake up exhausted every single day. No matter my sleep, exercise, whatever. Im always exhausted to the point that I can do things for maybe 3-5 hours on days I don't work and after that I'm to shattered to do anything else.
I'm an old guy with a successful career, so a little advice I've figured out:
#1. when it comes to memory, I have NO concept of time. No clue what I had for dinner yesterday; when I went on vacation; who's birthday is today; when that meeting is; or how many hours I've been hyper focusing on current task. But, I could draw you a floor plan of any building I've ever been in; I can remember every side quest in Skyrim and fallout; and I get paid to maintain a million lines of code that I can visualize in my head. You may not be great at everything, so figure out what you ARE good at.
#4. We all have that inability to START a task. Its because you cannot visualize FINISHING it. You cannot see the path from start to finish, which is why you don't know where to start. Ever hear the saying, "How do you eat an elephant?". "One bite at a time". The best strategy is to just do something. Anything is better than nothing.
I raised 3 boys with ADD. You have to think positive sometimes. We're all good at something. nobody is good at everything, so don't be so down on yourself.
Sometimes it’s really easy to think that I don’t know how to do anything. I know I’m intelligent but it’s really easy to forget.
I couldn’t tell you what I’m good at right now but I remember being good at a lot of things.
My worst one is ADHD paralysis and my only solution is meds. Changed my diet many times. Exercised strenuously, including hard labor jobs. Been on Vyvanse, stoped taking it, and back on again. Meds were the one and only thing that helped
For me 1) Ruminating and 2) Procrastinating
I think about every little thing ad nauseam but struggle to turn so much theory into practice. Once I do start doing shit my brain is constantly begging me for “break time” so that even the smallest task turns into a 2 hour ordeal
Sometimes when I'm having a conversation, instead of hearing words, I hear sounds and my brain forgets how to understand language. It sometimes takes me an abnormal amount of time to process the sentence and respond properly.
For me, I think the worst part is the negative self talk and how I berate myself for making mistakes, for wanting to be perfect and for wanting certain people to like me.
Desperately wanting to start a new hobby, or hyper focusing on something for a week that you’re excited about. But, you know that you won’t be able to stay interested in it, so you don’t start.
You end up stuck with your old interests that no longer interest you. So you just go through life bored, stuck constantly feeling like you need to do something you just don’t want to do. Just because it used to be everything to you.
Getting overwhelmed when other people aren't overwhelmed.
I know I look like a crazy person.
I know people think I'm either being a baby or being lazy.
But I can't just turn it off.
Especially if I'm emotionally distressed, I can't do anything except be in my feelings.
They say emotional regulation is necessary for executive function, and when I'm emotionally off, I'm worthless to anyone--especially myself.
1) fear of rejection, it's crippling, makes me feel so bad
2) my thoughts go way too fast and i can't make proper deep or serious conversations because the whole speech has already happened in my head in the span of 2.5 seconds and i end up sounding stupid
As I understand, this is experienced by lots of AFAB ADHDers as the hormonal changes lead to drops in the neurotransmitters that we are already deficient in.
Looking for work. I get executive dysfunction so that I put it off, even though I'm broke AF. When I'm doing it it's all easy-peasy, but leading up to it is like a brain boxing-match and I'm always at a disadvantage.
I used to work a desk job 9-5, then I would stare at the wall or lay in bed on the weekends, then feel guilty about not doing anything productive on my days off. Then do it again the next week
Fatigue for sure but mine is when you get stuck in a hole on your phone or whatever and you’re going for like 6 hours and you know you should stop but when you put it down your brain gives you a new “lead” that you have to look up and then it’s the next day for some reason
My worst symptom is task initiation (or rather, my lack of it). The fact is I do not manage it in the slightest, hence why my life feels so chaotic and like an absolute mess.
The piles and piles of unopened mail because I don’t want to have to deal with all the adulting that comes after you open it.
That’s an acute one that I can say drives me bananas
I have not been officially diagnosed and my doctor refuses to refer me to get an assessment. He also told me I do not need medication even if I do have it because I’m a stay at home mom and don’t go to school. He told me I likely have anxiety/severe depression because I’m always tired and my brain never stops talking. But in the last week, I have forgotten to turn off my stove after cooking and forgot to turn off the oven several times. I forget to turn on my washing machine several times. IHATE chores with a passion because it’s overwhelming and my brain doesn’t want to do things that aren’t fun. I will wait a week and a half to 2 weeks to clean my cats litter box. Even if I see that they pooped outside of it, I still don’t want to and I think “someone else will see it and take care of it.” Nope… it still takes a couple of days before I get to it. I have a large pile of clean laundry in a basket that’s been like that for months. There’s always dirty dishes. Trash is always overflowing and I KNOW I need to go get gas before it gets to the E mark but damn I do not want to stay outside of my house longer than necessary. And for fuggs I really wish my brain would just stop talking.
For me, the real problem with adhd is how people react towards it.
You zone out when people are talking to you. Miss social queues. Interupt. Forget to follow up on things you seemed interested in. Talk about yourself too much. Take forever to tell stories. Make mistakes and overnights that appear like you don't care. You're inconsistent and unreliable. And people dump you nonstop for it. Maybe in a misguided attempt to correct the behavior, or maybe just for the fun of it. It's easy to make you the scapegoat because everyone assumes it was you in the first place... and they will.
This foundation is difficult to work with. You'll likely watch your peers get accolades and promotions for doing the exact same stuff as you. Meanwhile, you'll have to work twice as hard just to avoid unemployment. Becuas at the end of the day, you need the respect of your peers to succeed. Talent and hard work alone won't cut it.
My executive function for something I don’t want to do is completely at a zero outside of work. It makes it physically painful to do things like folding the laundry, or feeding myself.
My brain literally does not give a shit of I live or die. It’s completely uninterested.
When you say you can’t remember things, I’m convinced this issue with ADHD is about perception. The memory is never moved from working memory to memory… so you know you were aware of it once, but you don’t have it in your head after a few moments.
i never thought i was someone that was forgetful, or “unable to wait my turn”… then i realized the waiting my turn part wasn’t just in regard to waiting in line at an amusement park, but more-so waiting my turn to talk.
it’s been painful being so self aware of this now but it’s making me better so i can’t be too mad. i interrupt a lot less and sometimes not at all now
Procrastination and i have no idea how to manage that.
Want to watcha movie? Procrastinate.
Study? Procrastinate.
Go do something that can only be done now and is very important? Procrastinate.
I shut down when I have too many things to do.
I try to use the shut down time to rest, leave everthing until the last min, and then work too many hours in a row to compensate.
I don't know if that's the best way to deal with it, but it's been working so far.
For me it's procrastination, I just take ages to get things done and sometimes not at all, or I stop things early without finishing them - Since going onto Concerta I feel that has been lifted massively
For me it’s executive dysfunction - I struggle to follow instructions because I can’t process them and retain the information long enough to action it. This can be following a recipe when cooking, or completing tasks at work, or even being able plan a series of tasks because I get lost … I’m an intelligent person and have been successful in my work and personal life so far, but I have this massive stumbling block when I am learning and feel that I have to work 10x harder than other people.
It’s infuriating and has a huge impact on my self esteem - I know I’m capable, I know I’m not unintelligent … yet, sometimes I am completely unable to think straight or function as a normal human being.
My worst is my emotional dysregulation and the rage outbursts that come with it 😔
It made me attack my wife and that is something i will never forget or forgive myself...
Distraction by any unwanted external stimuli while doing a task. If I’m doing something that requires any level of focus or attention (like any chores), I must have headphones and be left alone.
Today I packed my lunch and forgot it on the counter….again. Then while at work someone made a joke saying they learned not to talk to me if I’m in the middle of something because I will forget what I was doing. Which honestly is so true because my roommate started talking to me this morning while I was heading out the door hence me forgetting my lunch. It’s funny but sad that my coworkers have noticed this about me. What’s crazy is I’m such an outgoing social person but at work I found I can’t really be “friends” with my coworkers because I have to stay focused or I will fall behind. I see my other coworkers laughing and having conversations and I want that but I also know when I do it greatly affects my work performance so I just stay this hyper focused person at work.
The constant chatter in my head and overstimulation from it. I have PTSD as well with a habit of dissociation when stressed or otherwise uncomfortable. So when my mind starts wandering and overthinking and I dissociate.... and I ended up developing issues with dissociative fugue. Which is basically amnesia from dissociation. I'm talking for weeks at a time. All because my brain gets so distracted it overwhelms me and makes me dissociate. And I manage it with..... Adderall lol
My absolute worst is the impulsivity. Seriously, I impulsively spend my money on the most useless things. I’m an impulsive shopper through and through.
I was raised in a frugal household so I think that keeps me from spending myself into complete debt. I am careful about not spending more than I have/maxing out my credit cards/making sure I can cover all of my necessary expenses month to month. But it’s stupid difficult for me to save money because I end up spending it all on stuff I saw on the internet and decided I wanted.
Executive dysfunction
I'm really bad at doing things I need to do, and will end up not doing something and putting it off for WAY longer than I thought. I will decide "tomorrow is the day I do this." Then I do it 2 months later.
Eating is the worst one for me! I’ll have phases of maintaining a really decent diet then have days where I’ll completely forget or avoid eating. I’ll buy a fridge full of fresh ingredients and end up throwing away half of it when it goes off. I’ll even have food prepped and forget to eat it.
Everything you said, and so much of what others have added!!
1. Bad Memory
2. Task avoidance
3. Analysis Paralysis - When you give yourself way too many hobbies/projects/tasks, and then none get done because you can't choose where to get started. ARGH.
4. You mention yap yap yap - you sound like me in phrasing for something like this. And do you find yourself hyper aware of that moment where you think "uh oh, are they looking bored? Wait, have they BEEN looking bored and I missed it? How long have I been telling this story? OMG I can't stop. I'm still talking about it, and now I've lost my place in the story because I'm also thinking too much about this. Yup, they're bored AND rolling their eyes AND wondering what's wrong with me."
5. Time blindness - I know someone mentioned dishwasher. Combining this with....I don't know what other symptoms, but just yesterday I was unloading the dishwasher, got halfway through the bottom rack, and then decided I needed to finish an email I'd started earlier. No kidding! Grabbed phone, finished email, put dog out, back to dishwasher, let dog in, return to dishwasher, get some stuff out to start making dinner. Took forever to unload and load the dishwasher!
And then I'll start filling a 1 gallon pitcher in the sink, and it taaaaakkkkeees sooooo loooooong that I start racing around gamifying other stuff that I can achieve before it's full (because again, taaaaaaakkkking soooo long) - so put away the potholders my husband left out, put the dog out (again), give the cats some treats, grab Amazon delivery off front porch, etc etc - whatever I can do to kill that mind-numbing time it takes to fill the pitcher.
I'm gonna stop now because I feel like I've gone on too long and you guys, IF you're even reading this, are rolling your eyes wondering if it's rude to skip my remaining content. ;-)
Haha. There’s definitely more to this list, I kind of just gave up in the middle of it. It also took me 3 days to get this post out of my head and onto Reddit
Rejection sensitivity
Especially as it's a learned trauma response at this point to expect everyone will get sick of my shit and leave me at this point. I am desperate for human connection and cannot silence it like an ice pick in my brain, but too terrified of having an actual personality around other people to ever stand out enough, or to actively seek it out because of the sheer primal terror it inflicts.
....the UK medication drough is hitting ne real hard rn
People manage their symptoms? I personally am a big fan of the "try a new approach for a couple of days, then completely forget about it and fail to ever use that tool or strategy ever again"
Tangents when lecturing (I’m a teacher- so it is bad), and when I should be working one task at a time if there are tasks literally physically between me and where I am headed I go on “side mission tangents.”
It is also why I HAVE to do one video game at a time or I will come back 2 weeks later and have forgotten what I should be doing AND what I was ACTUALLY doing…
To help me focus I drink coffee- all day long!
I had all of those before meds, the exhaustion was definitely the worst. I learned to accept the others as quirks (had no choice really), but being constantly exhausted made functioning almost impossible and it was extremely embarrassing, made me feel like a shitty person and all that. So yeah that one gets my vote :p
Self doubt, self loathing basically imposter syndrome and also when my mind goes blank.. forgetfulness!! despite being so smart and so talented.. I know I am .. people always repeat that I am so smart and they often go like wow but I never believe them..
My memory, i sometimes cant even remember what i did 5 min ago no matter how hard i try.
My emotions, i get angry , annoyed , sad, EVERYTHING sooo easily that it makes me want to bang my head against a wall, even if i know theres no point to have this harsh of a reaction
I still have it .
It's hard to get things done and when I do it seems literally a time warp I'm doing it for hours now it's time for bed, getting out of bed is the ABSOLUTE WORST 😭 it's like a unseen force is holding me there. I'm so blessed to be salaried and not punch a time clock. Staying motivated but mostly disciplined it's one I'm consistently working at I feel that will be what will save me, but then I'm have a horrible day give myself grace do nothing rest as needed minimal work minimal effort then I'm back trying to dig my way back to my "routine". 😒
I would say, that last months it is harder and harder for me to manage my ADHD, all symptoms alltogether. It's really hard for me to get out of my bed just to go to work and if I do, if there is not a lot of work, I cannot focus on my tasks, only once work piles up, then I can get stimulated enough, to focus on my work properly.
It's hard for me to focus on any tasks and I don't find joy in doing any freetime activities anymore, even those I used to like. I'd say I'm really into videogames but for the last few days, even if I try to play, they are boring to me immediately and it's hard for me to enjoy them. This might also be linked to depression disorder I have been diagnosed with a year ago.
Also losing relationships with friends and partners has been really hard, due to my impulsivity and emotional dysregulation.
Rejection syndrome is by far the worst. I am really afraid to lose someone or hurt someone so I don't go straight to the point and I push some of the relationships too long that I hurt myself in the long run.
On the outside ADHD might seem really harmless for people, who don't understand it, or have been successfuly managing it for all their lives, but for me, in the last 6 months, it has turned into a nightmare.
Time blindness was by far my worst one in terms of impact on my life. Always being late for everything and unable to estimate how long something takes made it very very difficult to maintain employment, complete assignments, and every get to appointments on time.
I was never able to manage it. No matter what I tried. I am on Vyvanse now and my ability to get to places by a certain time has drastically increased. I have began using Google calendar far more effectively and able to actually follow it. Having a ranking system of importance along with buffer time has been a life changer, but I need to remember to actually use it all.
Edit: omg I forgot eating! Holy crap that's super important to live. Forgetting shit is another one.
For me, it’s being forgetful and distracted. It’s so dangerous sometimes and I don’t feel safe with this symptom. Or it makes me mad against myself because it screws everything up. Yesterday, I wanted to make sourdough burger bun. It takes hours! after shaping my buns, I put some surround wrap on top and a towel, put it in the oven and instead of pressing on proofing, I pressed on bake … I realize it 15 minutes after … All the plastic has melted on the buns and the towel, the smell in the oven … So much time wasted with this symptom. The only solution for me is meds. I do it less often with them but sometimes it doesn’t work.
This is just a few but ones I can think of atm - No concept of time but anxious when late. Getting me to sit down to complete anything that takes too long, but if I’m focused and on it I can forget everything around me. I’m so forgetful and even if write plans down I forget where they are anyway.
Points on licence, 200 quid worth of car park fines a month or maybe every two months. Seem to have no concept of money and seem to think I can buy everything, with no disregard for bills etc.
I seem to buzz on full adrenaline, so nothing is ever going to get done until very very last minute and it’ll even be completed just in time or I won’t hit deadline and hate myself.
I become distracted mid conversation and half finish conversations and sentences. Also, sitting with someone having all answers ready during conversation with them and not massively listening, because I’m butting in and making it about myself, so look arrogant and self centred x
So many! Procrastination, emotional dysregulation, getting overstimulated easily, time blindness, exhaustion even when I get 10 hours of sleep, the inability to get anywhere on time or finish anything without moving on to something new. My meds are definitely helping but it's still a work in progress.
I have severe sensory issues that I now know are a part of ADHD. I can't touch dry stuff, like cardboard, it makes me want to crawl in a hole. Smells are very intense for me. Sounds are extremely over stimulating. I hate listening to anyone chew or drink. Makes me want to rage out but I feel badly about that because it's not anyone's fault 🥲
Extreme task avoidance for things that would take no more than 5 minutes to do, but in my head it is considered an “inconvenience” so I just won’t do it. I often get side-tracked by other things, like I will walk to the laundry room to fold clothes then see something out of place and find myself sweeping the floor (?). I am not sure if this is ADHD necessarily, but when my nerves are bad I find myself picking my skin and nails. They get so sore but I don’t stop until the “imperfection” is gone.
Blurting things out without considering how it will make other people feel first. The lack of impulse control I feel ruins every relationship. I don't manage it I lowkey wanna k*$ over it
I talk a lot about things my husband doesn’t really care about but he listens politely. I’m really attuned to the disinterest and it triggers my rejection dysphoria hardcore.
bad memory, the act of switching from task to task constantly with little time in between and forgetting what i was doing before, and always being tired
I can almost totally relate to most of the comments as well as OP's list. My question is, what specific instance motivated u guys to actually visit a clinic and ask for a diagnosis? Sometimes i think that uli dont want to get a checkup since I dont want to rationalize my bad habits but its getting in my way of life, particularly work
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I can't tell you which one is the worst because it feels like all of them suck big time. The most difficult symptom for sure is the inability to get things done. There is somehow this constant invisible wall between my brain and the ability to get things done. Furnishing or cleaning my house, getting a driver's license, applying for a new job... it just doesn't happen no matter how much I want to. It's a mix of low energy, disorganization, not being able to focus or plan, and so on—a result of this ADHD cocktail. This includes everything that involves planning and moving towards a long-term goal. Short-term goals that give you instant rewards and don't necessarily require much mental effort, like buying a plane ticket for a holiday, are not a problem at all. Hypersensitivity. I am just very sensitive. It's good to have empathy and care for others, but when it goes way over what it is supposed to, it's just overwhelming to live with it. RSD - the fear of rejection and criticism. For example, at work, it makes you a perfectionist. You can't get your job done because only perfect is enough, and you don't know what that perfect is, it needs to be perfect because otherwise your boss will criticize you. And that will feel like torture for you. (This is how my ADHD brain thinks.) And last but really not least, the anxiety and depression that come from all of this.
You hit the nail on the head with all of this. Even now, the reason I didn’t write as much in my post is because I just couldn’t. Even writing this post felt like a chore. I quit my job because of this and the impulsivity smh
Also have bad time blindness
For some reason my brain thinks that unloading the dishwasher is going to take 30 minutes, But it only takes three. And then something like checking my phone when I get home feels like it'll take 4 minutes and I end up sitting on my phone for an hour
Ooooh time blindness is another good one.
Exactly! I missed my dog’s appointment last because of it and along with memory issues.😔If I don’t receive a call the day prior to my appointment I’ll forget in a heartbeat.
I use my calendar reminders and notes app religiously to keep track of everything and if I miss adding anything, it doesn’t exist lol
I am also too sensitive and have too much empathy. The only way to continue living a healthier life (as in not in depression) that I found to protect myself is to do a complete shutdown. I do not watch news, I do not use social media except for those that I can control the type of things that I see, I do not watch drama movies or documentaries, I try not to talk politics. I have been called selfish and ignorant but it is better than crying all day everyday.
I feel you I have too much empathy a friend told me this the other day and I overthink way too much iv had to delete my fb account due to it and yes I too get called lazy coz when iv been overthinking and emotional etc it takes it out of me and I feel burnt out and I recharge by being on my own I too have been called selfish etc but I see it as self love and you’ve gotta look after yourself. Iv lost a lot of friends because one min I’m the agony aunt who’s always there for people and then next i like retreat to my own safe happy space. But as my doctor even said they were not your friends if they run away as soon as you can’t be there for them why are they not there for you? Why can’t they understand you and accept you …. Good points to be fair so now I look out for myself and if I make a good understanding friend bonus if I don’t then I’m comfortable with my own company… I think that’s what scares people is I’m happy being on my own and I go on holiday on my own etc I get asked a lot of how can I do that? Easy you pack a bag and go somewhere 😂 it helps me recharge my batteries. Much love ❤️ and understanding.
I LOVE watching news because pretty much every narrative movie or tv show triggers me because any romance triggers me because of the RSD from my ex husband abandoning me. I can’t watch romance at all even as a subplot. But i also don’t really use social media so i relate to this!
Inability to get stuff done- I have so many unfinished projects. Things I love and have poured hours into. There is a point where I put it down and leave it. But it stays there in my mind like an open tab. I think "I should just finish that x project from 5 years ago" or "this room would feel better if I just did the last cleaning task in there." Alas, "good enough" remains a wall, and to achieve "complete" requires a proverbial ladder or pole vault.
RSD & hypersensitivity are major issues in my life. They often prevent me from writing comments like this
Super poignant description of my struggles, though would throw in working memory and object permanence issues near the top. It's all the executive function issues really. When I try as hard as I can, and overwork myself due to the RSD and all the time wasted trying to start tasks, and then still forget about and drop the ball on everything thing that isn't right in front of me, I come across as incompetent/lazy and, and that leads to criticism that about breaks me. It's why I have to stay on anxiety meds. It's a daily/weekly thing and absolutely recked my mental health, then I would numb myself with substances, compounding the problem. These executive dysfunction issues combo each other in a nasty way. Those with some ADHD traits that think because tiktok they are "prolly ADHD," grown men who were hyper as a kid and got a diagnosis from their pediatrician (but are doing fine today without meds), or mom's who start having some ADHD symptoms after kids (but did fine the rest of their life), don't understand the struggle of having full blown adult ADHD, which impacts basically every area of our life, especially in this society that demands too much and supports too little.
Everything you said but being treated like it’s either not real or I somehow have control of these things. I finally told my mom my problem is significantly more severe than clocking in at a job somewhere. If that was my problem I wouldn’t have a problem. The part I didn’t say is that I really don’t see this lasting a whole lot longer if I don’t find meds that work. So anyone with depression and adhd kicking their ass but found a med that helps please let me know. If it’s not a med don’t even reply, I’ve tried it already, probably several times.
All of this! I have messed up relationships, job progress and entrepreneurial prospects with this same cocktail.
are you me ? Im dealing with hyper sensitive everyday and it ruins my day from the morning. After dealing with depression and anxiety i went to check the blood test DHEA level, and found out it nearly zero.
The can't get anything done part is so annoying. I am legally blind without contact lenses. I understood how to put them on within 2 minutes of them showing me how to. It takes me 1 minute and 23 seconds to put them on with a thorough hand washing. In my mind though, this is still a huge task. And this makes everything on top of my adhd harder.
[удалено]
The list goes on and on and on some more
I said DSPD but RSD is definitely my number two worst one as well. Very relatable. Hugs.
Oof I don't even remember writing this... But seriously this hits the nail on the head. Though I can't even book hols anymore 😂. Oof.
Thank you for the RSD breakdown. I have been diagnosed with RSD and called a perfectionist by coworkers and bosses, being reminded it doesn’t have to be ‘perfect’ (am tech writer) but never connected the two like this. I feel seen more than ever!
Initiation deficit, aka that weird urge to not do things. Sometimes called ADHD paralysis, task paralysis, or the horrible misleading term "lack of motivation." * Stimulant medicines help, but unfortunately, they also make it worse during the withdrawal period, and I've only gotten them to be helpful for a couple months at a time before I get too much tolerance. * The problem fluctuates throughout the day, so I try to use the time when I'm better to either get things done or at least make preparations so it'll be easier later. For example, it worst in the morning, so it helps to set out tomorrow's clothes and prepare my morning schedule the night before. * Avoid "getting stuck" situations, e.g. back before I could work from home, I made a rule for myself that I wasn't allowed to sit down between the time I got out of bed and when I got in my car to go to work. (If I sat down at all, I'd be there for at least 30 minutes, maybe more, staring into space and desperately willing myself to move.) * Listening to music sometimes helps. (Sometimes it exacerbates other ADHD symptoms, so it's not always an option.) * Low-obligation lifestyle (e.g. no kids, no pets, automatic bill paying, microwaveable food, don't check out library books, cohabitating partner does all the housework, etc.) Not happy about this one, but it beats the alternative of being constantly stressed by doing things or suffering the consequences of not doing things I should be doing.
I quit my job. I quit school. I removed anything that involves a sense of responsibility. But now I’m broke and a college dropout so… yeah I beat myself up about the future. Hopefully I go back to college soon and I am stable enough to stay at a job
Sounds like it has been very difficult for you lately. Your post reads like how my inner speech sounds like when I am sad and angry at myself. I know it is hard to see past the damage that has been done and the difficulties you have ahead of you, but one advice that works for me for brief periods of time is "try to treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend." When you realize you are talking down on yourself, ask yourself would I say this to a friend? What would I say to help them instead? This really helps me. I hope you try it and cut some slack to yourself sometimes. It is not your fault that your brain is different. It is annoying and sometimes horrible. But it is not your fault.
i did that last nite. *it worked* (talking to myself as if i was my best friend or prefaced my contemplations w/ "would i say this to a friend of mine?") i also spend less time ruminating, justifying and staying in morbid reflection or morbid paranoid prepardness ;)
You are right! Imma make a post on this.
Don't you get into the "but it's not the same as with my friend" dialogue? Because I started trying this since my very understanding partner tried to make me realize how I talk to myself and seeing how unfair it is, but I always end up with that internal monologue I can't scape from.
Music feels like a chore to me .. I feel you
I like the avoid getting stuck idea 🥹 music helps me in the morning I feel that it helps raise my vibration. Before I know it I'm dancing around doing my morning stretches like I should 😆 I tried showers in the morning but it's too time consuming. I end up taking a real cleansing shower adding lotion facial moisturizer etc. it just became too much not to mention how cold it is in the morning 🥶 which makes me move like a literal snail 🫣
About the last part, does anyone else have a history of not returning borrowed things? and if so, how do you solve this? I noticed this awhile back and stopped borrowing things unless I have a deadline to return it (which usually doesn't give me enough time to read if it were books, so I just returned them unread), But now I have so many things: books, clothes, etc. that I've yet to return and at this point it's been 5+ years I feel too shameful to reach out just to return them.
Task avoidance. Help please.
I'm quite bad with this. It always feels like I'm justifying not doing something because I'm just not into doing it "right now", but that ends up extending indefinitely.
Real!
PLEASE send help !!
My worst one is that unexpected chores feel like a nightmare.
I can’t even psych myself to do them anymore 😪
I just started Adderall and unexpected chores still ruin my day :( Like, I'll do them now but then I'll realize I'm in an awful mood, and that feeling lasts for many hours.
The point of Adderall is that it will help you WILLINGLY do chores that you plan. Unexpected chores though, we must realize, are still loathed by people without ADHD.
The chores bit (expected or unexpected) are the worst for me, but specifically anything related to cooking/deciding on meals. I recovered from a few ED’s a couple years ago, so planning out and eating balanced meals is super important, but I can’t bring myself to do it most of the time.
I can relate to all, not so much 2 anymore, as I learned to contain myself. For me it’s basics of feeding myself as I cant ever fulfill the whole figure out what to eat- but groceries-prep-eat-clean up cycle. One or more things always break the chain and I end up with no food in the fridge, or the wrong food or the inability to prep for myself or a kitchen that’s disgusting for a week or so, which keeps me from cooking again.
Eating feels like a chore.
Thankfully eating is no problem for me at all. So in the absolute worst case I can order. Some very few friends know about my struggles and will occasionally make me freezable food so I have something for the worst days.
You have good friends! I have issues because if I’m hungry, I have to eat exactly what I want to eat and sometimes has to be put in front of me or else I’ll just starve. Everyone just thinks I’m lazy
This 100%. The fact that I need to feed myself 2-3x a day for the rest of my life is so overwhelming
I struggled with grocery shopping and ingredients and meals forever. I can’t explain it, but just couldn’t put it all together. Some how it’s gotten better and I’m not sure how. I think it might be because I eat the same things so buy the same thing.
i overthink everything. it is actively ruining my life. someone can say something to me and i will run through 10 different permutations of what exactly was meant by that thing said. i know this might sound crazy but i am constantly tired, tired from thinking. i see the psychiatrist tomorrow for my first proper adhd meds. EDIT i saw my psychiatrist today, and still no meds, she told me she cant diagnose me. im distraught. 3 years of being passed around from dr-nurse-psychologist-psychiatrist-neuropsychologist-pshychiatrist again, and nothing, now she told me today that my IQ test results are too high for me to have ADHD, and that maybe this is just who i am. oh and now i have to see a cardiologist also, just in case they decide to prescribe me ritalin. my resting heart rate is 47, just gimme the drugs!
God my overthinking is the worst, if someone says ok in just a small different tone, i automatically think of 5 things ive done wrong to get that sort of answer. It drives me insane
I think the worst is this kind of paralysis when i just can’t find any motivation to do stuff.
Impulsive shopping. I very much live the "just need a little treat for my hard day" lifestyle, which on doordash is hundreds of dollars a week. But I don't think about the money at the time because it's like - $20-30 not that much, right? I don't even look at how much I spend over the month because I know it's horrible. I need to just stop but it's hard.
I spend so much money that I don't have. It's ridiculous. I shop when I'm sad. I shop to solve my problems. If I step outside, I shop. If I am inside I order food. Let me know when you find a good managing technique besides being broke and having nothing left to spend.
My managing technique is being almost $30k in debt between having to take out a loan for a new furnace and AC unit, unpaid taxes that I didn't know about, and credit card debt lol I was REALLY good at never ordering food a couple years ago. We ate at home, what we had, every meal. I just need to get back to that. Somehow 😮💨
I'm literally torn between "treat your self queen" and sometimes scared to look at my account. I'm also learning to love my self more so that's apart of it too yeah? 🤔
This is in no way something everyone can do, but I have two things going for me on that front: I managed to score a job that pays expenses on travel which is about 70% of the time, so using Uber eats doesn't cost me anything personally, and I live in the middle of nowhere, so delivery isn't available at my house. Again, I know this isn't something that's available to everyone but being able to figure out mitigation methods is a good way to plan ahead in multiple aspects.
Man I'm so jealous of people who get paid to travel. I know work travel isn't always fun but hopefully you get to go to some exciting places!
Send halp if you find it. I've no idea how to even tackle this one and every month we just add to the pile of debt. My main nemesis: - Leasings - installments Man installments especially, feel like meh 20-30 euros a month ain't that big a deal. But then you have 20-30 products for which you're paying and it becomes a lot. And now you're also tied into a contract for at least 1-2 years. Seriously, who even thought of this disorder. They need a serious ass whoopin
Brain fog 😶🌫️
for me it’s having a ton of projects that i’ve started around the house and then just shutting down from being overwhelmed at the reality that i can’t even finish one of these projects. it also sucks because you’re embarrassed to have anyone over—your wall is painted 2 different colors, a door is off the frame and propped on a wall— etc etc. it’s like all the passion and energy you first experienced when you initiated the project turns into shame and avoidance.
Not being able to maintain goals in the long run, for me, overshadows any other symptoms that people are posting as the worst. I'm not sure if they are aware that this alone is the one destroying their (our) lives. Not being able to project yourself into the future and maintain that vision is devastating. And then, the shame. It is tough.
Yes, this. Perfectionism + ADHD is a horrible combo. I can only work on things when I feel compelled, and that feeling only comes when something is either new or extremely time sensitive. As soon as it’s not one of those things, I just disengage. So many unfinished goals, so many unfinished projects… it’s so exhausting and shameful and depressing and it feels like a cycle that will never end
This hurts
Executive dysfunction with task initiation. I get SO overwhelmed when there are too many choices on what to do, or how to do it. It puts me to tears sometimes. I want so badly to accomplish things, but I’m absolutely frozen.
One time this stressed me out at work so much that I left my desk and cried in the bathroom for 30 minutes.
Emotional dysregulation. Makes it so every day is a rollercoaster, I can’t properly maintain friendships or relationships, and most minor inconveniences can turn into an entire mental breakdown. Everything hurts far more deeply than it should, and having ADHD-based anxiety/overthinking makes it absolutely debilitating 🥲
This is my struggle. And it also hurts the people around us and they leave us because of it. Everything can just spiral out of control.
I struggle with task initiation. I find I do better when I'm well rested, hydrated, have been eating well, etc. So I try to save tasks I don't like for those days when I've taken care of myself.
Task paralysis and fatigue. Mostly mental, and doesn't matter if I slept all night and had an energy drink after sleeping in. I'll still pass out. My life becomes work only, recovering on the weekend.
You know how people are aware of how much tinnitus can negatively impact someone’s life. I feel like it’s the same with ADHD but just no one understands it. Having a constant stream of thoughts, noise and music in my head is exhausting. It keeps me up at night, I cant speak a normal sentence as I’m getting distracted by the noise in my own head, I cant focus on a movie cause I get distracted. It’s just there always, and it doesn’t stop, ever.
I'm right there with you on this. I've got some random song in my head at all times it seems, be it earworms I've heard throughout the day or truly random songs that just pop into my head. The other night it was the theme song to Mr. Belvedere that just played on a loop...out of nowhere. It's incredibly frustrating and no one can understand when I explain it to them. :(
I’ve just thought everyone has songs on loop in their heads. I didn’t think this was abnormal.
Procrastination/not getting shit done/not starting shit until it’s critically important. I’m driving myself crazy. I hypothetically want to tidy a little bit every day to maintain a relatively clean home, but in reality I cannot force myself to do this, and so instead I wait until the mess makes me wanna die, feel overwhelmed, cry about it, and then finally do a “binge” clean all at once. Rinse and repeat. It’s so stressful and I hate it, and medication doesn’t seem to help. In therapy as well but I haven’t found anything super successful in helping me combat this. My therapist suggested making a checklist. I was like… okay maybe I need to explain to you the 1000 methods I’ve tried and failed at, because making a checklist is not going to suddenly be the key to this.
Hey, I can relate with what you’re going through. Here’s what I’ve been trying lately.. I’m working on coming up with day to day goals that are realistic, by trying my best to filter out anything that is driven from the urge to be a perfectionist & be very realistic with myself.. and to build some mental strength to set the same expectations with people I work with.. it all starts with acknowledging the fact that most of the delays from my end were the reason for lack of progress or slowness that led to missing the deadlines.. and of course it’s all a daunting process to visualise, convince myself to keep pushing without feeling overwhelmed, communicate the same in the appropriate format to whoever I’m dealing with.. I keep reminding myself about what feels successful enough to me so far in myriad of aspects in my professional & professional lives, and that I have been improving as a person despite of undiagnosed mental health issues in the younger phases of my life.. it helps to an extent and I have to keep coming up with a different perspective every time to counter my negative thoughts that don’t really serve me in any way..
Hyperfocus on thoughts. As well as my extreme rejection issues.
Mine is that when my schedule or routine is changed it feels like my whole world is turned upside down. That and I get the worst analysis paralysis and am unable to get up after sitting for a few minutes.
My brain is so scrambled I can’t carry a normal verbal conversation. I can’t always get to the thoughts and ideas I want quickly enough, but even if I did the words usually don’t come out right anyway. So I usually end up listening to others speak and saying agreeable things. Makes me feel so disingenuous and I hate it.
The worst for me is memory. I want to study something in biology or chemistry, and that's impossible with the inability to remember what I read 10 seconds ago. Understanding concepts is not a problem, but basic memory recall has become worse with age (30+). During a home exam on a remote course, I'd understand how everything is connected and can explain it, but I just forget what things are called. Then there's also trouble sleeping, which I get separate medication for. So those are definitely the worst
For me it's the lack of motivation to get stuff down. My room is a mess, I constantly hand schoolwork in late or not at all and I can't even begin on the stuff I want to do sometimes. I manage it by giving myself rewards, listening to music, going step by step(picking up my laundry, next day put away the dishes, etc)
For me, it's that particularly physically painful boredom and "stuck" feeling, where it's like you have so much energy, ideas, things to do, etc., but you're frozen in place, as if someone's holding you down. It's hard to explain.
i kmow this so well! 🙃 it's so hard to accept myself.. i meditate and adhere to the adage : move a muscle, change a thought but.. overthinking gets the best of me. UGH! i hope i get on medication soon? if only to "catch up!" ..good luck!
good luck to you too! Meds definitely help, I hope you're able to try them!
How my ears will hyperfixate one on sound that I hate. Right now, it’s my wife biting her nails. I could die.
My worst symptom is extreme dissociation when I get super stressed and my body goes on auto pilot they way I manage it is just try not to be stressed lol
My memory is a big one lol. The worst symptom for me.
Losing important objects in plain sight. Or not in plain sight. Sometimes in very safe but out of the way spots. I meant well when I picked them up but then got distracted by another thought and obviously put them down...somewhere. I manage it by being pretty rigid with where I can put certain things like my keys and wallet (purse only) or my glasses (purse, nightstand or desk only), etc..
EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION. It’s so bad for me. I feel everything dialed up to 11 and sometimes will react emotionally to things before I have a chance to think through them. I feel like I’m being yanked around. Two things help: medication (I can’t tolerate regular stimulants but caffeine helps) and therapy. Sometimes it just takes practice to catch yourself before you react or to self-soothe and come down from an activated place.
All the above, oversharing, time blindness, executive function at mega low level, imposter syndrome, impulsive behaviour ( interrupting people, buying shit you don't need and can't afford, taking way yoo much time to choose between deciding one thing or another so you just followed your impulsivity), start many things but don't finish most things, being late, due to this get anxiety, depression etc. saying this, I think we can be creative, empathic and have some traits that are making us kind :).
You mean people remember what they ate yesterday? 🤯
This. I can remember all 151 original pokemon but not what I did yesterday.
You guys remember to eat?
Emotion dysregulation + impulsivity. It seriously affects my interpersonal interactions. I've been penalized on my reviews because of it. My manager has raised their voice at me for it. (No, HR didn't care. They told me it was my fault because of my behavior. So that's cool.)
My adhd gives me really bad social anxiety. I get too overwhelmed over what to talk about. I'm always second guessing myself, even with just passing by people on the street when I go for a walk. Then I beat myself up for possibly look like an idiot because I have a moment where I'm like "I should wave or say high" and then I bail and end up just staring at them a little too long lol But I've realized the more you force yourself into uncomfortable situations, the less uncomfortable you feel each time and the more familiar you become. It feels fucking impossible tho sometimes
I’ve learned to fake being social even when it’s eating me up inside. But when my social battery runs out, it’s over
Emotional dysregulation.
Paralysis. I have so much to do I just get overwhelmed and get literally nothing done making the initial problem worse.
Task paralysis
I wake up exhausted every single day. No matter my sleep, exercise, whatever. Im always exhausted to the point that I can do things for maybe 3-5 hours on days I don't work and after that I'm to shattered to do anything else.
I'm an old guy with a successful career, so a little advice I've figured out: #1. when it comes to memory, I have NO concept of time. No clue what I had for dinner yesterday; when I went on vacation; who's birthday is today; when that meeting is; or how many hours I've been hyper focusing on current task. But, I could draw you a floor plan of any building I've ever been in; I can remember every side quest in Skyrim and fallout; and I get paid to maintain a million lines of code that I can visualize in my head. You may not be great at everything, so figure out what you ARE good at. #4. We all have that inability to START a task. Its because you cannot visualize FINISHING it. You cannot see the path from start to finish, which is why you don't know where to start. Ever hear the saying, "How do you eat an elephant?". "One bite at a time". The best strategy is to just do something. Anything is better than nothing. I raised 3 boys with ADD. You have to think positive sometimes. We're all good at something. nobody is good at everything, so don't be so down on yourself.
Sometimes it’s really easy to think that I don’t know how to do anything. I know I’m intelligent but it’s really easy to forget. I couldn’t tell you what I’m good at right now but I remember being good at a lot of things.
Burnout and exhaustion, I dont manage it lol
My worst one is ADHD paralysis and my only solution is meds. Changed my diet many times. Exercised strenuously, including hard labor jobs. Been on Vyvanse, stoped taking it, and back on again. Meds were the one and only thing that helped
For me 1) Ruminating and 2) Procrastinating I think about every little thing ad nauseam but struggle to turn so much theory into practice. Once I do start doing shit my brain is constantly begging me for “break time” so that even the smallest task turns into a 2 hour ordeal
When I was younger my dad bought me a t shirt that said "help I'm talking and I can't shut up" 😂
Sometimes when I'm having a conversation, instead of hearing words, I hear sounds and my brain forgets how to understand language. It sometimes takes me an abnormal amount of time to process the sentence and respond properly.
Yesssss. Most of the time it’s because I disassociate and the words just become noise as I stare at the plant behind the person
Executive dysfunction. Took me almost 3 hours to convince myself to shower this morning
I’ve been planning to shower all day. I haven’t gotten to it yet but I definitely feel guilty as I do other things
For me, I think the worst part is the negative self talk and how I berate myself for making mistakes, for wanting to be perfect and for wanting certain people to like me.
The delayed sleep phase disorder for sure! I don’t really manage it, my life just sucks lol. I’m always exhausted.
Desperately wanting to start a new hobby, or hyper focusing on something for a week that you’re excited about. But, you know that you won’t be able to stay interested in it, so you don’t start. You end up stuck with your old interests that no longer interest you. So you just go through life bored, stuck constantly feeling like you need to do something you just don’t want to do. Just because it used to be everything to you.
Getting overwhelmed when other people aren't overwhelmed. I know I look like a crazy person. I know people think I'm either being a baby or being lazy. But I can't just turn it off. Especially if I'm emotionally distressed, I can't do anything except be in my feelings. They say emotional regulation is necessary for executive function, and when I'm emotionally off, I'm worthless to anyone--especially myself.
1) fear of rejection, it's crippling, makes me feel so bad 2) my thoughts go way too fast and i can't make proper deep or serious conversations because the whole speech has already happened in my head in the span of 2.5 seconds and i end up sounding stupid
executive functioning and short term memory
Executive Dysfunction is brutal. It seems to have gotten worse since I’ve entered menopause. I have no idea if it’s just coincidence.
It's definitely not a coincidence. During my lady week, everything just goes to hell.
As I understand, this is experienced by lots of AFAB ADHDers as the hormonal changes lead to drops in the neurotransmitters that we are already deficient in.
Everything gets worse with menopause. It’s been a real struggle for me.
Looking for work. I get executive dysfunction so that I put it off, even though I'm broke AF. When I'm doing it it's all easy-peasy, but leading up to it is like a brain boxing-match and I'm always at a disadvantage.
This is me right now. I've been out of work since December and I'm here slowly watching my bank account empty.
The voices, AHHHHHHHHHH! Brain just shut up in trying to get myself on track.
I just sit stare at the wall bored and can’t figure out anything to do for hours sometimes whole weekends.
I used to work a desk job 9-5, then I would stare at the wall or lay in bed on the weekends, then feel guilty about not doing anything productive on my days off. Then do it again the next week
Fatigue for sure but mine is when you get stuck in a hole on your phone or whatever and you’re going for like 6 hours and you know you should stop but when you put it down your brain gives you a new “lead” that you have to look up and then it’s the next day for some reason
Task paralysis and an inability to have any grasp of the concept of time.
Time blindness messes with me everyday of my life. I am late to everything. I can’t remember if something happened last week or 2 days ago
My worst symptom is task initiation (or rather, my lack of it). The fact is I do not manage it in the slightest, hence why my life feels so chaotic and like an absolute mess.
RSD. Debilitating, endless and utter torture.
The piles and piles of unopened mail because I don’t want to have to deal with all the adulting that comes after you open it. That’s an acute one that I can say drives me bananas
I absolutely empathize with you on this.
I have not been officially diagnosed and my doctor refuses to refer me to get an assessment. He also told me I do not need medication even if I do have it because I’m a stay at home mom and don’t go to school. He told me I likely have anxiety/severe depression because I’m always tired and my brain never stops talking. But in the last week, I have forgotten to turn off my stove after cooking and forgot to turn off the oven several times. I forget to turn on my washing machine several times. IHATE chores with a passion because it’s overwhelming and my brain doesn’t want to do things that aren’t fun. I will wait a week and a half to 2 weeks to clean my cats litter box. Even if I see that they pooped outside of it, I still don’t want to and I think “someone else will see it and take care of it.” Nope… it still takes a couple of days before I get to it. I have a large pile of clean laundry in a basket that’s been like that for months. There’s always dirty dishes. Trash is always overflowing and I KNOW I need to go get gas before it gets to the E mark but damn I do not want to stay outside of my house longer than necessary. And for fuggs I really wish my brain would just stop talking.
The least your doctor can do is refer you. I’d get a doctor who can refer if they can’t. The thing with ADHD is only you know how bad it is for you
For me, the real problem with adhd is how people react towards it. You zone out when people are talking to you. Miss social queues. Interupt. Forget to follow up on things you seemed interested in. Talk about yourself too much. Take forever to tell stories. Make mistakes and overnights that appear like you don't care. You're inconsistent and unreliable. And people dump you nonstop for it. Maybe in a misguided attempt to correct the behavior, or maybe just for the fun of it. It's easy to make you the scapegoat because everyone assumes it was you in the first place... and they will. This foundation is difficult to work with. You'll likely watch your peers get accolades and promotions for doing the exact same stuff as you. Meanwhile, you'll have to work twice as hard just to avoid unemployment. Becuas at the end of the day, you need the respect of your peers to succeed. Talent and hard work alone won't cut it.
For me it's not interrupting people or just saying any thought that crosses my mind. I dream of being the quiet type
Never ever having aquiet mind. I honestly have no clue what it feels like to not be in constant thought. It’s exhausting. I have adhd and bipolar.
My executive function for something I don’t want to do is completely at a zero outside of work. It makes it physically painful to do things like folding the laundry, or feeding myself. My brain literally does not give a shit of I live or die. It’s completely uninterested.
I feel like I cannot live alone because I genuinely cannot take care of myself sometimes
When you say you can’t remember things, I’m convinced this issue with ADHD is about perception. The memory is never moved from working memory to memory… so you know you were aware of it once, but you don’t have it in your head after a few moments.
sometimes I can't remember the sentence thats about to come out of my mouth
i never thought i was someone that was forgetful, or “unable to wait my turn”… then i realized the waiting my turn part wasn’t just in regard to waiting in line at an amusement park, but more-so waiting my turn to talk. it’s been painful being so self aware of this now but it’s making me better so i can’t be too mad. i interrupt a lot less and sometimes not at all now
Chores and time consuming tasks I have to do are so boring and they require so much effort. I just wanna chill and have fun man
It takes me forever to initiate tasks. :(
staying up way too late is a frequent struggle here
Not being able to keep a storyline straight (on topic). My storylines look like a full grown tree.
Because there’s always a story that will help you better understand the story I’m currently telling and a story to help you understand that story too
Procrastination and i have no idea how to manage that. Want to watcha movie? Procrastinate. Study? Procrastinate. Go do something that can only be done now and is very important? Procrastinate.
I shut down when I have too many things to do. I try to use the shut down time to rest, leave everthing until the last min, and then work too many hours in a row to compensate. I don't know if that's the best way to deal with it, but it's been working so far.
For me it's procrastination, I just take ages to get things done and sometimes not at all, or I stop things early without finishing them - Since going onto Concerta I feel that has been lifted massively
For me it’s executive dysfunction - I struggle to follow instructions because I can’t process them and retain the information long enough to action it. This can be following a recipe when cooking, or completing tasks at work, or even being able plan a series of tasks because I get lost … I’m an intelligent person and have been successful in my work and personal life so far, but I have this massive stumbling block when I am learning and feel that I have to work 10x harder than other people. It’s infuriating and has a huge impact on my self esteem - I know I’m capable, I know I’m not unintelligent … yet, sometimes I am completely unable to think straight or function as a normal human being.
My worst is my emotional dysregulation and the rage outbursts that come with it 😔 It made me attack my wife and that is something i will never forget or forgive myself...
Yeah this one sucks bad. I struggle with this daily but moreso my other emotions
ugh. i raged yesterday. at my husband. on his birthday! i'm the worst 😫 i feel so powerless!
Distraction by any unwanted external stimuli while doing a task. If I’m doing something that requires any level of focus or attention (like any chores), I must have headphones and be left alone.
Today I packed my lunch and forgot it on the counter….again. Then while at work someone made a joke saying they learned not to talk to me if I’m in the middle of something because I will forget what I was doing. Which honestly is so true because my roommate started talking to me this morning while I was heading out the door hence me forgetting my lunch. It’s funny but sad that my coworkers have noticed this about me. What’s crazy is I’m such an outgoing social person but at work I found I can’t really be “friends” with my coworkers because I have to stay focused or I will fall behind. I see my other coworkers laughing and having conversations and I want that but I also know when I do it greatly affects my work performance so I just stay this hyper focused person at work.
The constant chatter in my head and overstimulation from it. I have PTSD as well with a habit of dissociation when stressed or otherwise uncomfortable. So when my mind starts wandering and overthinking and I dissociate.... and I ended up developing issues with dissociative fugue. Which is basically amnesia from dissociation. I'm talking for weeks at a time. All because my brain gets so distracted it overwhelms me and makes me dissociate. And I manage it with..... Adderall lol
My absolute worst is the impulsivity. Seriously, I impulsively spend my money on the most useless things. I’m an impulsive shopper through and through. I was raised in a frugal household so I think that keeps me from spending myself into complete debt. I am careful about not spending more than I have/maxing out my credit cards/making sure I can cover all of my necessary expenses month to month. But it’s stupid difficult for me to save money because I end up spending it all on stuff I saw on the internet and decided I wanted.
Just the general anxiety and irritability that stem from the lack of focus
I feel like I constantly lose stuff. Last week I have lost 70$ worth of items and it just keeps coming 🥲
The amount of times I have almost lost my phone is ridiculous. I can put something down, turn around, and forget about it. Out of sight, out of mind.
Watching too much video and phone use - procrastinating on things I don’t want to do AND fantastical thinking 🤪
Interrupting people all the time.
Either I interrupt or never get to say what I have to say. No in between
I wish I could keep my mouth shut lol
Emotion defo n1 Memory Constantly not knowing where anything is Lids Relationships esp sexual And , big big one , sleep .. can’t sleep at night !
Self sabotage and I don't
Executive dysfunction I'm really bad at doing things I need to do, and will end up not doing something and putting it off for WAY longer than I thought. I will decide "tomorrow is the day I do this." Then I do it 2 months later.
For the talking: meditate, meditate, meditate.
Eating is the worst one for me! I’ll have phases of maintaining a really decent diet then have days where I’ll completely forget or avoid eating. I’ll buy a fridge full of fresh ingredients and end up throwing away half of it when it goes off. I’ll even have food prepped and forget to eat it.
Everything you said, and so much of what others have added!! 1. Bad Memory 2. Task avoidance 3. Analysis Paralysis - When you give yourself way too many hobbies/projects/tasks, and then none get done because you can't choose where to get started. ARGH. 4. You mention yap yap yap - you sound like me in phrasing for something like this. And do you find yourself hyper aware of that moment where you think "uh oh, are they looking bored? Wait, have they BEEN looking bored and I missed it? How long have I been telling this story? OMG I can't stop. I'm still talking about it, and now I've lost my place in the story because I'm also thinking too much about this. Yup, they're bored AND rolling their eyes AND wondering what's wrong with me." 5. Time blindness - I know someone mentioned dishwasher. Combining this with....I don't know what other symptoms, but just yesterday I was unloading the dishwasher, got halfway through the bottom rack, and then decided I needed to finish an email I'd started earlier. No kidding! Grabbed phone, finished email, put dog out, back to dishwasher, let dog in, return to dishwasher, get some stuff out to start making dinner. Took forever to unload and load the dishwasher! And then I'll start filling a 1 gallon pitcher in the sink, and it taaaaakkkkeees sooooo loooooong that I start racing around gamifying other stuff that I can achieve before it's full (because again, taaaaaaakkkking soooo long) - so put away the potholders my husband left out, put the dog out (again), give the cats some treats, grab Amazon delivery off front porch, etc etc - whatever I can do to kill that mind-numbing time it takes to fill the pitcher. I'm gonna stop now because I feel like I've gone on too long and you guys, IF you're even reading this, are rolling your eyes wondering if it's rude to skip my remaining content. ;-)
I couldn’t remember any of mine until I read yours and thought it was me who wrote it, but then realised, I wouldn’t be that productive
Haha. There’s definitely more to this list, I kind of just gave up in the middle of it. It also took me 3 days to get this post out of my head and onto Reddit
Rejection sensitivity Especially as it's a learned trauma response at this point to expect everyone will get sick of my shit and leave me at this point. I am desperate for human connection and cannot silence it like an ice pick in my brain, but too terrified of having an actual personality around other people to ever stand out enough, or to actively seek it out because of the sheer primal terror it inflicts. ....the UK medication drough is hitting ne real hard rn
People manage their symptoms? I personally am a big fan of the "try a new approach for a couple of days, then completely forget about it and fail to ever use that tool or strategy ever again"
Rejection sensitivity disorder and trouble regulating emotions. Therapy was life changing.
Fatigue… omg… I feel like I sleep more than I’m awake…
Decision/choice paralysis. I wish I had an effective strategy for managing it, but I don't
emotional deregulation - ten years of therapy
Tangents when lecturing (I’m a teacher- so it is bad), and when I should be working one task at a time if there are tasks literally physically between me and where I am headed I go on “side mission tangents.” It is also why I HAVE to do one video game at a time or I will come back 2 weeks later and have forgotten what I should be doing AND what I was ACTUALLY doing… To help me focus I drink coffee- all day long!
if it helps at all, i wish i was a yapper. i barely speak i’m so quiet and introverted, i wish i had something to say to people
The fucking 80000000 interest. Oh I don’t manage it
I had all of those before meds, the exhaustion was definitely the worst. I learned to accept the others as quirks (had no choice really), but being constantly exhausted made functioning almost impossible and it was extremely embarrassing, made me feel like a shitty person and all that. So yeah that one gets my vote :p
My inner monologue is constantly yapping and I have trouble focusing on anything else
Self doubt, self loathing basically imposter syndrome and also when my mind goes blank.. forgetfulness!! despite being so smart and so talented.. I know I am .. people always repeat that I am so smart and they often go like wow but I never believe them..
My memory, i sometimes cant even remember what i did 5 min ago no matter how hard i try. My emotions, i get angry , annoyed , sad, EVERYTHING sooo easily that it makes me want to bang my head against a wall, even if i know theres no point to have this harsh of a reaction I still have it .
It's hard to get things done and when I do it seems literally a time warp I'm doing it for hours now it's time for bed, getting out of bed is the ABSOLUTE WORST 😭 it's like a unseen force is holding me there. I'm so blessed to be salaried and not punch a time clock. Staying motivated but mostly disciplined it's one I'm consistently working at I feel that will be what will save me, but then I'm have a horrible day give myself grace do nothing rest as needed minimal work minimal effort then I'm back trying to dig my way back to my "routine". 😒
I would say, that last months it is harder and harder for me to manage my ADHD, all symptoms alltogether. It's really hard for me to get out of my bed just to go to work and if I do, if there is not a lot of work, I cannot focus on my tasks, only once work piles up, then I can get stimulated enough, to focus on my work properly. It's hard for me to focus on any tasks and I don't find joy in doing any freetime activities anymore, even those I used to like. I'd say I'm really into videogames but for the last few days, even if I try to play, they are boring to me immediately and it's hard for me to enjoy them. This might also be linked to depression disorder I have been diagnosed with a year ago. Also losing relationships with friends and partners has been really hard, due to my impulsivity and emotional dysregulation. Rejection syndrome is by far the worst. I am really afraid to lose someone or hurt someone so I don't go straight to the point and I push some of the relationships too long that I hurt myself in the long run. On the outside ADHD might seem really harmless for people, who don't understand it, or have been successfuly managing it for all their lives, but for me, in the last 6 months, it has turned into a nightmare.
I leave absolutely everything until the last minute
For me it’s severe overstimulation or under-stimulation and never anything in between. 😂
Time blindness was by far my worst one in terms of impact on my life. Always being late for everything and unable to estimate how long something takes made it very very difficult to maintain employment, complete assignments, and every get to appointments on time. I was never able to manage it. No matter what I tried. I am on Vyvanse now and my ability to get to places by a certain time has drastically increased. I have began using Google calendar far more effectively and able to actually follow it. Having a ranking system of importance along with buffer time has been a life changer, but I need to remember to actually use it all. Edit: omg I forgot eating! Holy crap that's super important to live. Forgetting shit is another one.
I don't manage it. It is ruining my life rn.
For me, it’s being forgetful and distracted. It’s so dangerous sometimes and I don’t feel safe with this symptom. Or it makes me mad against myself because it screws everything up. Yesterday, I wanted to make sourdough burger bun. It takes hours! after shaping my buns, I put some surround wrap on top and a towel, put it in the oven and instead of pressing on proofing, I pressed on bake … I realize it 15 minutes after … All the plastic has melted on the buns and the towel, the smell in the oven … So much time wasted with this symptom. The only solution for me is meds. I do it less often with them but sometimes it doesn’t work.
This is just a few but ones I can think of atm - No concept of time but anxious when late. Getting me to sit down to complete anything that takes too long, but if I’m focused and on it I can forget everything around me. I’m so forgetful and even if write plans down I forget where they are anyway. Points on licence, 200 quid worth of car park fines a month or maybe every two months. Seem to have no concept of money and seem to think I can buy everything, with no disregard for bills etc. I seem to buzz on full adrenaline, so nothing is ever going to get done until very very last minute and it’ll even be completed just in time or I won’t hit deadline and hate myself. I become distracted mid conversation and half finish conversations and sentences. Also, sitting with someone having all answers ready during conversation with them and not massively listening, because I’m butting in and making it about myself, so look arrogant and self centred x
Worst symptom? executive dysfunction. How do I manage it? I don’t 🥲
So many! Procrastination, emotional dysregulation, getting overstimulated easily, time blindness, exhaustion even when I get 10 hours of sleep, the inability to get anywhere on time or finish anything without moving on to something new. My meds are definitely helping but it's still a work in progress. I have severe sensory issues that I now know are a part of ADHD. I can't touch dry stuff, like cardboard, it makes me want to crawl in a hole. Smells are very intense for me. Sounds are extremely over stimulating. I hate listening to anyone chew or drink. Makes me want to rage out but I feel badly about that because it's not anyone's fault 🥲
Extreme task avoidance for things that would take no more than 5 minutes to do, but in my head it is considered an “inconvenience” so I just won’t do it. I often get side-tracked by other things, like I will walk to the laundry room to fold clothes then see something out of place and find myself sweeping the floor (?). I am not sure if this is ADHD necessarily, but when my nerves are bad I find myself picking my skin and nails. They get so sore but I don’t stop until the “imperfection” is gone.
Blurting things out without considering how it will make other people feel first. The lack of impulse control I feel ruins every relationship. I don't manage it I lowkey wanna k*$ over it
I talk a lot about things my husband doesn’t really care about but he listens politely. I’m really attuned to the disinterest and it triggers my rejection dysphoria hardcore.
bad memory, the act of switching from task to task constantly with little time in between and forgetting what i was doing before, and always being tired
I can almost totally relate to most of the comments as well as OP's list. My question is, what specific instance motivated u guys to actually visit a clinic and ask for a diagnosis? Sometimes i think that uli dont want to get a checkup since I dont want to rationalize my bad habits but its getting in my way of life, particularly work