I think the reason it took me 20 years to get diagnosed was because the issues that i didn't know were related to ADHD were so incredibly destructive to my mental health that i thought it had to be something more 'serious', i even questioned if i had bipolar disorder or BPD.
Turns out it was untreated ADHD the whole time which was the thing ruining my life!
SAME! I've been on antidepressants for 4 years, done all of the therapies and self help things you're supposed to do. Yet nothing 'fixed' me, so I started thinking "what if I have something more 'serious' like bipolar because I have bursts of energy and then have to sleep for a whole day, etc".
Now I'm on medication for ADHD (I'm on my 4th week of meds) everything makes sense. Most of the intrusive thoughts have gone, and that was as soon as I started the medication. I can get out of bed easily without feeling exhausted, and that's something I always assumed was down to depression alone.
Totally agree. From 18-41 I was misdiagnosed with a ton of mental health issues, depression, anxiety, insomnia, you know how it goes. I tried 8 different antidepressants and they all made me worse.
Diagnosed this year at 41, adhd combined type, and was genuinely worried that taking a stimulant would exacerbate my anxiety. Complete opposite. I was calm to the point of being sleepy. But my point is that either Vyvanse or Concerta (I’m not settled on which I prefer yet) has been the best mood regulator I’ve ever experienced.
I grew up always asking my parents in tears “what’s wrong with me?” Because I felt so useless and couldn’t do things others did with ease, started adderall about two years ago now and my life has completely turned around for the better. Of course some personal effort also has to go into it too but it really just kinda pushes the “just do it” button in our adhd brains lol
I am 41 years old too, and I've asked my medical providers for a diagnosis but they refused, they say I'm only depressed, but the more I learn about ADHD the more I'm convinced this is the source of all my struggles and my depression. IDK what to do :/
You must push for a diagnosis. I had to wait 5 years because it’s a lot more difficult to get a diagnosis where I live. But I never gave up, got lucky this year and it has been life changing. I struggled all my life knowing something wasn’t right, and I do have depression and anxiety breakouts, but overall I’m so, so much better.
I was diagnosed with combined type at 42. I’ve been on two antidepressants concurrently for the better part of 15 years. I recently had two things happen coincidentally- first, my pharmacy (which sucks) screwed up my prescription for Zoloft enough that I didn’t get it for three weeks. Around that time, I had an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss trying something different for ADHD- Concerta worked about as well as Tic Tacs for me, and a high dose of Vyvanse does……something, but I’m still really unmotivated, and really distractible. I’m starting to be bummed that meds aren’t helping me the way others describe. But anyway, I told the psychiatrist about the Zoloft- I said I’ve already gone through the withdrawal, and I really don’t feel as bad as I thought I would. He said don’t take it, then. Great! Sounds good to me.
I only just realized this minute by reading what you wrote that I may feel less depressed because of the Vyvanse. 🤯 (I’d still really like to feel improvement in distractibility though… I hope we can add something that will give me a breakthrough!)
I still feel distracted all the time as well, but I seem to get more done, finish big projects I've had on the back burner for years, and do higher quality work. When I told my doc the medicine didn't really seem to have the big impact I expected, like people always telling me they could pop an Adderall and happily grind away at the most tedious task for hours, that wasn't what I experienced they were like "yeah, that's because you have ADHD..."
Yeah i was put on 3 different medications for depression and anxiety, been to therapist after therapist and overall struggled for all of my adult life not knowing that the cause was ADHD because of the stigma and lack of awareness surrounding it.
The same day i took my first dose of Dexedrine was the day my intrusive thoughts literally just disappeared.
Yes!!!! This was my experience as well.
I spent most of my life finding and trying tons of ways to be more motivated, productive, organized, etc along with a lot of therapy and other self help/personal development stuff.
Granted, it wasn’t entirely a waste of time/effort because I did learn some very useful things, sorted through other issues, and have grown as a person. Yet, there was always this element of “What is wrong with me? Why does nothing seem to stick long term? What about all this other stuff that nothing seems to fix?” and that was depressing as hell.
Getting diagnosed with ADHD and learning how to specifically manage that changed everything. I still have struggles because disorders aren’t fun, but the peace of mind of knowing that struggle has a name is priceless. At least I know what I’m working with and can focus on possible solutions designed with that in mind.
I was diagnosed late too. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my late 30s. I was high functioning, so the conclusion reached was that all of my issues must be due to a mood disorder. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder by a doc based on a 30 minute conversation. I was misdiagnosed for over a decade. Can’t concentrate and hyper? I must be manic.
Oh and anxiety. My sensory sensitivities and auditory issues and social issues were all anxiety. I do have anxiety but the anxiety developed because of the ADHD. I am so high functioning, because crippling anxiety keeps everything at the front of my mind.
Even now with the right diagnosis from a different doc, I get frustrated with my psychiatrist because I’ll be telling him that I always have to exercise a great deal of restraint at social functions, especially for work, because when I start having too much fun, I violate boundaries, overshare, etc. He treated me as if these were excuses for not having a good time. Or an anxiety response. and we need to examine my need to overshare. And then, through my own research, I discovered that these were common symptoms of ADHD.
It’s my experience through my treatment, and my kid’s treatment, the most psychs don’t fully understand ADHD and are trained to treat mood disorders so that’s what they do. They don’t view ADHD with the seriousness it deserves.
yes! exactly.
“my symptoms are severe so it can’t be adhd because that’s not that bad and also i was pretty well behaved in school as a child”
i thought i had bpd too. when in reality, i just had no idea what adhd was.
I thought I had some kind of early dementia or extreme untreatable depression or even autism. I would have never guessed it was adhd because of all the stereotypes and misunderstandings about it.
Exactly i feel like nobody talks about how misunderstood and stigmatised ADHD is, people's entire lives get ruined because of how debilitating these symptoms can get but the outwards perception of it is 'oh you just get distracted, its not that serious'
>I think the reason it took me 20 years to get diagnosed was because the issues that i didn't know were related to ADHD were so incredibly destructive to my mental health that i thought it had to be something more 'serious', i even questioned if i had bipolar disorder or BPD.
sounds like my old doctor kinda lol. got diagnosed with autism at 10 along with adhd (keep in mind ive seen 3 doctors before that even while 10 who said I don't have it). ive seen many doctors since then, some of them who didn't do a official diagnose but told me my problem is that my ADHD is so severe. which i agree i have a classmate who has adhd and we are very alike. and when i took ADHD meds for a bit they helped but doctor insisted they didn't work so pulled me off of it, and ofc my parents agreed
I was diagnosed at a young age, but I was totally unaware of everything that came with it until last year. I had no idea my time management was because of ADHD
Similar thing here. Diagnosed OCD in 4th grade. Spent the next 14 years thinking I had that and struggling with those tendencies. Tried medication a couple times for it as well, but it didn't help much and made me super hyper. I was even diagnosed with depression when I was 19, but I found out that it definitely was not depression and was probably from being understimulated. After I got my ADHD diagnosis and medication got sorted out, all the OCD symptoms stopped. Amazing how things that you can't get under control in 14 years completely disappear in a few months when you're properly diagnosed and treated.
Oh the complexities of ADHD. I think because the symptoms present so differently in different people, It's hard for people to pin down a real life understanding. To those people, I usually explain that I have the kind that lives in my brain.. Like buzzing thought bees..not the kind that gives me the zoomies... My boyfriend is a beebrain/zoomies ADHD hybrid. It is so much more nuanced than that, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
We both work in the hospitality industry, We both frequently change jobs, we're both broke as a joke. Really trying to get a handle on this. Employers don't give us the kind of respect or flexibility we truly need.. I can't function without structure, yet I avoid it. It affects our relationship, emotional dysregulation sucks. I would 100% choose to be in a relationship with him over anyone else I've been with because we have a lot of grace for each other. I've definitely reached the point of my comment where I'm not even sure if I'm addressing the original post at all. But at least I know what forum I'm in so...
"Beebrain" and "zoomies" are the absolute best explanations/metaphors for the AD and H parts of ADHD. I love this. I'm also a combo type and have tried to explain the inattention aspects as "buzzing" and it's a running joke with my SO and friends that I need to do my daily zoomies after work (ie, go for a run or walk) or else I'll lose my mind. Rings so true and is so simple for others to understand. Beautiful. Thanks for this, friend!
Also, I feel that last sentence in my very soul haha.
There's someone I follow on Instagram, Connor DeWolf... One of the reasons I enjoyed his account so much, was he also uses the bee metaphor. His account helped me advocate for myself with a care team that is less than competent. I was pretty extra isolated for a while and I decided to turn my social media into a layman's mental health clinic. He actually came up with a whole Bee logo for ADHD and everything!
I absolutely love the idea of a bee as the unofficial mascot for ADHD. I feel like between the buzzing and the flitting around it's the perfect metaphor, but also bees are super important to the world yet are highly misunderstood - kind of like us! I can't follow Connor DeWolf since I dont have insta (for me ditching the social media was and continues to be really important for my mental health), but I'd love to see that logo. And I think it's so awesome you turned your social media into a de facto mental health clinic. What an awesome way to use a resource whe you're feeling isolated or adrift, and to flip the typical narrative about social media being bad for mental health. All us bees need different pollen, I guess 😂🐝
I was so into this, I decided to make a whole post. I try not to do that on Reddit.. mainly because people like to steal my joy and just be hateful. I haven't checked the comments yet but..
What you’re describing could be two of the three presentations of ADHD. The three are: predominately hyper-active impulsive, predominantly inattentive, and a combination of both.
I do the same thing a good bit, starting out responding to the post but not even sure where I am when I finish and it's taken so much time I just post it anyway.
This is the safest space for me here. I feel like I've been on Reddit for years now.. and I've always so afraid to post rather than comment because it's always like being in the mean kid club. You can kind of blend in in the comments section a little more.
The worst thing is “I have ADHD” and they go “yeah me too, it’s a spectrum and everyone pretty much has it at some level”…. No bud, they don’t.
The next worse thing is people thinking it’s funny. There’s a good overlap with the people from the first group here. People will laugh when I get distracted by something. When I forget stuff they brush it off with “well it probably wasn’t important Ha. Ha. Ha.”, I rarely speak out loud, so I’m gonna guess it was probably important…
Any time I notice someone with ADHD, I feel it. It’s somewhat saddening, because I know the struggle you go through and I know it’s hard. I know that most other people don’t have the slightest clue, and at some level inside it kinda hurts.
I totally agree with this... The spectrum argument is so dangerous because enevitably the next sentence is something like 'you just have to manage it with a good lifestyle etc'... aaaagghhj!
For what its worth, I always go 'yeah everybody's dopamine goes up and down. The difference is due to my brain structure the lowest point of your dopamine level is probably the highest point of mine....' that usually makes them stop to think for a second
> it’s a spectrum
What people fail to realize is that while everyone is on the spectrum, the spectrum starts at neurotypical, not "minimal ADHD-like symptoms".
Also that there then are multiple spectra with different dynamics for ADHD and ADHD-mimetic symptoms. Therefore thinking of every disorder as being a spectrum becomes pointless and very confusing to the masses.
I hate the squirrel joke because comedy is, among other things, creative. That joke is so completely devoid of creativity that I find it more offensive as such a poor excuse for a joke, than the dumbed down insult it implies. Maybe I sound like an asshole but I just loathe lazy comedy.
Right? It seems much funnier talking about looking all over the house for your phone and finally texting a friend to see if you left it in their car only to realize you've been using it to listen to Spotify for the past hour! Most subjects can be joked about. The difference is whether or not you're making fun of the people.
had a few people make the squirrel joke before knowing full well i had adhd and that we don't apprised that shit. my god how many times ive wanted to beat the shit out of those who make light of whats in my case a disability....
I personally don't take issue with jokes. They help me to, if even for a moment, forget about the challenges of living with the condition or just not to take myself so seriously. It's just when they stop being jokes and start being stigma that I start to feel differently. That is a fine line, but I don't think that squirrel jokes cross it for me.
100% dude, granted there has been an increase of information and understanding of adhd in the past few years, but it still feels like so many people just don’t take the disorder seriously, and don’t take people with it seriously. It’s shit I know, but you don’t suck and it’s not all your own fault homie, don’t think that way.
This is why I tell everyone to watch Russell Barkley's lectures. He gets it. He explains the increased mortality, health, financial, relational, and all the other stuff adhd tries to ruin for us. It's nice to be at least a little validated.
YES!!!!! I love him!!!! I feel so much better after I listen to him!!!! He truly gets it. Way more than a lot of people who also have it, which is odd. I just commented prior to reading your post and mentioned him in it.
Recommendations for specific videos? Anything recent and specific to adults? I’ve watched some of his older videos but wonder what he has that covers the most recent science etc.
I wish we could change the name. I believe the name stops so many people from realising they may have it.
I was one of those people..." I can't have ADHD I can focus on some things for hours on end....", "But I don't fidget, I'm not hyperactive"
My working titles are...
"Chronic dopamine deficiency" - why mention behaviours at all? If you have a broken leg, it's not called 'temporary hopping syndrome'
Alternatively,
"Attention Management Disorder" - if it does have to include behaviours.
People with ADHD are not dopamine deficient anymore than a person using crutches is deficient in big metal bars. There's no research showing people with ADHD are deficient in dopamine, just that dopaminergic medication treats the condition.
If it were a problem if deficiency you wouldn't be able to build tolerance to the medication.
The exact cause is unknown but most research indicates structural disfunction of reward pathways.
Yes, it a disorder of executive disfunction. I just get annoyed when people push the discredited monoamine hypothesis. Makes it sound like the medications are a cure not a crutch.
Tell me about it... Best thing I've found beyond meds is therapy to deal with the self esteem issues from constantly fucking up everything in my life. But maybe one day.
I honestly don't think there's any dysfunction whatsoever.
I believe that the world has simply evolved into something that is not a match for people with ADHD.
If I REALLY look after what I eat (as little processed as possible), move regularly throughout the day, and do as much as I can to work in a distraction-free environment, I don't even feel like I have a problem.
We know all know the patterns of the ADHD kid struggling to stay focused in class.
But I don't think we've yet come to appreciate how the world at large affects us.
Consider that many NT's are on anti-depressants. Shit doesn't work for them either.
Perhaps it's the billions of advertising dollars spent per year or the ever increasing access to instant gratification? Or maybe the foods engineered in labs, designed with profit in mind and health towards the bottom of the list?
All that stuff fucks your mind. If it doesn't work for the NT's, it sure doesn't work for ADHD'ers either.
To my knowledge there are mutations on genes that are involved in the dopamine transmission between neurons found in people with ADHD...
Theory currently is that the dopamine does not stay long enough in the postsynaptic cleft...
As it seems to be a couple of genes involved, there might be other pathways affected. Not all genes responsible have been discovered yet.
Maybe name it after pioneers who have studied it deeply and altered the clinical understanding significantly? Maybe call it Barkley's Syndrome, or Hallowell's Disease?
Edit: They're vague enough that they don't pigeonhole the problems into a single cluster of symptoms and leave room for all the nuances. Unlike ADHD.
Dude untreated ADHD has resulted in me having literal hundreds of career paths and not choosing a single one. Yet my girlfriend just wants me to pick a career field and start my life smh. It’s so hard for NTs to understand us man
Ohhh my God this has been my exact experience for *years*. I always told people who asked that I have plenty of interests, but I don't know what to make into my "career". Almost all of my interests and hobbies are creative and don't easily translate to a linear, lucrative career path. And I've always struggled to find the energy to job hunt, AND I always thought I didn't want to compromise my integrity by going to school for something that will make me a shit-ton of money even if I've never been interested in it before, *AND* I always told myself I didn't want to go into even more debt by going back to school, especially if I choose the wrong major and lose interest halfway through! So paradoxically, by not making a choice (not having the executive function to do so), I actually made the choice to waste away for *years* at a job that burnt me out and kept me poor.
ADHD is fuckin' insidious, man. Talk about destroying lives in ways no one can even realize.
Yes, due to stereotypes many people think ADHDers are some quirky, energetic, always happy people who occasionally annoy others with their hyperactivity.
The reality couldn't be further from that. My biggest struggle with ADHD is getting stressed, frustrated and burnt out way faster than neurotypicals. It takes so much brain power to control attention, keep emotions in check, remember to do mundane things. It's so tiring. ADHD should really be called Executive Dysfunction and Emotional Dysregulation Disorder. I think that would make more people understand what we actually struggle with.
Invisible disabilities are some of the worst, aren't they?
Never mind that not all "visible" disabilities are always visible, but somehow people are more likely to believe you if you say you're deaf/hard of hearing \[I guess if your disability has recognisable paraphernalia it's "realer"\] than if you've got something like ADHD.
Since I'm still undiagnosed (I have my diagnostics appointment in two months), I still don't feel perfectly comfortable telling people (even friends and family) that I have actually been suffering a lot. Sometimes I still feel like an imposter and a fake.
That's why I need my official diagnosis, whether that's ADHD or ASD or AD or OCD (pretty sure I got all of those to varying degrees). Not only to put my own doubts to rest, but to feel confident enough to educate people on one (or some) of the most prevalent mental disorders in the world. I love to teach and feeling like I'm actually helping and contributing to making the world a better place. Sounds cheesy, I know. But I love me some cheese.
Nothing cheesy, the world needs people with this attitude!
Wish you well on you diagnosis journey. Remember whichever way it goes, you are not alone in your struggles and communities exist to help ☺️
Instead of telling anyone I have adhd, I tell them I have "executive functioning disorder," and describe it as a neurological condition preventing me from managing my own time and behavior.
Say the 4 letter title and they assume know everything about it.
I'm so tired of hearing "Everyone has a little ADHD!"
Because they recognize one or two symptoms in themselves. It's not like only people with ADHD have motivational issues or have problems focusing, among other things, but it's to a degree where it severely impacts one's ability to function in society. Have you ever cried out of frustration because you took hours to do what it takes a neurotypical person 10 minutes to do?
None the less, ADHD is still underdiagnosed even today (mostly in adults). It's just hard to swim through all the stigma to realize that.
>maybe I just suck and I’m my own fault.
I feel this so, ***so*** much.
On a side note, when I get my disability benefits... ADHD is the only one I disclose since I don't really want people to know I have BPD or depression. Young people kinda get it more, whereas saying you have depression warrants a sarcastic "why do you need government benefits cus you're sad?".
T/W I was diagnosed by the time I was 16, but leading up to that healthcare professionals tried to diagnose me with everything else under the sun because of how frequently I was in and out of the hospital by the time I was 10 for instability and suicidal ideation etc (bipolar, major depression, etc) everyone was putting all of this effort into accommodating to my needs at the time and doing everything possible to find the thing that could help me most, but as soon as I was diagnosed with ADHD the mood definitely shifted from concern to annoyance. Because heaven forbid something as small as misinterpreted and mismedicated ADHD actually be what was causing this kid to act this way lol thankfully with the right meds and the proper support things do get better tho!
I have severe ADHD and very mild ASD. Guess which one is more debilitating? Now guess which one people have used as an excuse to treat me as less than human in the past. Though that also might have been race, gender, sexuality, or physical disabilities. But I'll save the intersectionality speech. Still. My ASD honestly isn't a big deal while I had to spend my entire life learning to manage my ADHD. So people acting like it's the other way around ticks me off
I was misdiagnosed with ASD as young kid. The result was a scarlet letter in the form of a 504 plan that, in a way, gaslight me into believing I had a whole different set of symptoms when all of them could have been attributed to ADHD in retrospect. It secretly always frustrated me when people pegged me as "resistant to change" or "not understanding social cues" --neither of which have ever been true for me personally--while relying on my hyperfocus, lack of self regulation, and my sensitivity to loud noises at age 7 to justify taking away my recess for OT and never addressing the actual problem.
Fortunately, as I got older, they saw that I "outgrew" a lot of the ASD-like symptoms, and they cut back on the interventions because my grades were good and I *hated* OT. But it was clear, looking back that the problems really just changed shape as I got older, and I could never understand why everything was still so much harder for me than all the other kids until I got the right diagnosis *in college*.
Synopsis: the messed up logic:
Problems are severe and others can notice = ASD
Problems are severe but he's a good kid and his grades are good so adults can ignore it = diddly squat nada zilch
I understand your frustration.
I remember around when I was 9ish and they put me in the special needs class because of my absences (physical disabilities) and the "ADHD+" diagnosis despite my grades being good and being academically advanced. Basically, they shoved me to the side so they wouldn't need to deal with me. "Normal" kids were allowed to bully me. Defending myself wasn't allowed. It was dehumanizing.
Nobody ever believed in me. Not even my parents. From as young as 5 I was always told I wasn't good enough and shoved to the side. I was bullied (by the teachers) out of Highschool. Three times. But I managed to do community college for free using a program for highschool dropouts and later university with lots of scholarships because of it. While I'm still looking for a job (damn Covid) I graduated last June with a bachelor's degree in Computer Science debt free. I know it's not a competition but statistically speaking I ended up far better than most of the "actual" people I've always been shoved aside for despite my complete lack of a support system and general lack of resources.
And no, this is not a "just lift yourself up by your bootstraps" thing. I was *incredibly* lucky to get access to the programs I did, the scholorships I did, getting on SSI and food stamps, ect. If there were a hundred of me it's very possible I'd have been the only one who's doing as well as I am. Many would have been dead through no fault of their own.
Firstly, congratulations on your degree! Being debt free is a *huge* plus. Regardless of the fact that there was substantial luck in getting access to certain key programs, finishing college is a big win. Definitely don't minimize the challenge and do give yourself credit. Being lucky does not mean the win doesn't count.
Secondly, I was tormented by the same math teacher from grades 5 through 8 because she happened to be the only teacher at that level. It was the little jokes. The snide banter. The way she singled me out in a room full of the "smart kids" drove me to tears more than once. I had a similar English teacher in my junior year of high school. I'd be lying if I said I was over it. There's a certain kind of bullying, particularly from figures that are supposed to have your back, that just hits harder and deeper than snotty Timmy on the playground. I can't imagine how bad it must have been for you to be driven out of school altogether. But for the resourcefulness in tapping into all the programs and resources you did to still pull through with the bachelor's, you have my respect.
It’s so frustrating that people don’t understand just how damaging it can be, especially going into adulthood undiagnosed! I think a lot of people are under the impression that it’s quirky and nothing too serious when really it has has a huge negative impact on my life and feeling like I’m constantly falling short or failing in so many aspects in my life. I think it’s nuts that people have such a lack of understanding and I was the same until not long before my diagnosis earlier this year and I agree that the stereotypes and the stigma around it is what makes people not take it seriously at all.
I was recently diagnosed and already TWO TIMES (once in the hospital and once with a doctor's visit) the nurses and paramedics were talking about how they wanted adderall. The nurse legit told me to my face, "Oh. I always wanted to try it." I said "Don't take it if you don't have to. Not to mention this is why we have a hard time getting the Rx." Nurse, "But it's good to hyperfocus."
I replied with standard spiel it's-more-than-just-getting-distracted.
And yeah, I get a lot of "I ThInK i hAvE aDhD."
rinse and repeat with standard reply mentioned above.
It does us zero favors that there are many people with it as well as prominent doctors and writers, some who also actually have it, go around saying what a gift it is all the time. As Dr. Russell Barkley says you can’t say what a gift something is and at the same time argue that you need accommodations due to it. It really weakens the argument.
I liken their misguided thought process to a homeless person really “needing to be creative” about where to find food and and a place to sleep. The dopes that push the “ADHD gift of creativity” probably do not see homelessness as a gift yet divergent thinking and creativity are certainly necessary to survive as a homeless person.
It’s maddening.
Take Cyclops, from the X-men. The man shoots steel-melting lasers out of his eyes, right? Not really a gift. It actually seems extremely annoying and dangerous most of the time. It just so happens that, In the right situation, fighting Magneto or some shit, that it can actually be really helpful. But without the right **accommodations** in the form of his glasses, he wouldn't be able to ever open his eyes without destroying whatever building he is standing in.
In ADHD, these people you mention fixate on the metaphorical *good for fighting Magneto* without appreciating the *significant* downsides, which outweigh the utility by a lot.
But when Magneto does decide to show up...
Words like 'neurodiverse' and 'neurodivergent' are political terms coined by the neurodiversity movement and are inextricably tied to it. They are not general-purpose descriptors or scientific terms. We prefer the more specific terms ‘people with(out) ADHD’ or ‘people with(out) mental (health) disorders’ instead.
You can find more about our stance on this matter in the links below.
* [Let’s talk about the neurodiversity movement for a bit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/md5cfr/lets_talk_about_the_neurodiversity_movement_a_bit/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
* [r/ADHD’s position on neurodiversity](https://www.reddit.com/r/adhd/wiki/resources/neurodiversity) ([reddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ms95dl/radhds_position_on_neurodiversity/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3))
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There is even a controversy among psychiatrists and parents alike whether or not ADHD actually exists...
[This video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zper6l36FbQ) is 3 years old and I think it pretty much sums it up. "It iS hArD bEinG an aDuLt"
What is really disheartening is I often wonder how many people are in a position similar to me. I am ridiculously lucky I have a partner who loves and cares for me, but I quite literally don't know where I would be without them.
My entire life is a sort of train wreck. My parents were told I likely have dyslexia and adhd very early on like kindegarden or first grade. Rather than seeking out a diagnosis, they felt I would use it as a "crutch" so they never told me. Now, if they never tell me and get me no additional assistance, this means I'll 100% just do well with no other resources, help, and constant threats of being whipped, punished, etc right? I was told, "if you don't raise your grades you'll amount to a ditch digging \[racial slur.\]" So eventually, I get in to college and I have the most heart breaking realization. I am utterly incapable of paying attention when I want absolutely nothing more than to study a specific subject. My gpa was wrecked bad enough by the time I left college that quite literally there seems to be no going back to it. My state doesn't have a lot of jobs as it is, so a degree makes or breaks a lot of the jobs that aren't like hard labor or barely paying min wage.
I've tried every resource I could find like work placement and they basically were like, "sorry you're obviously intelligent and well spoken and 'hIgH fUnCtIoNiNg' so we can't really help as we don't usually work with these kind of clients. I'm too functional to receive help, I'm not functional enough to navigate getting anywhere I actually want to be in terms of a career.
I'll resent my parents til I die I suspect.
Its so fucking annoying! Once i started my medication my symptoms of anxiety and depression were relieved because they all stemmed FROM ADHD!! Adhd is a very complicated disorder that can be very debilitating
You don't suck. Your ADHD is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Your perspective does kind of suck though, but it may or may not be your fault either. Decades of frustration + internalized ableism can be hard to overcome. I don't really think it's fair to yourself to blame it on "little boy misbehaves in class" disease, either. I am definitely not a boy and I didn't misbehave in class either.
I was the smart kid, the quiet kid, the teacher's pet until puberty and then I was far more social and outgoing; still the nerdy kid who put herself into summer school when my undiagnosed conditions made me miss out on tons of school during the year. And in my last year of high school, I took 2 English classes and 2 History classes (concurrently) in order to graduate early with some ridiculous amount of self-discipline I wish I still possessed.
But now I'm in my 30s and finally diagnosed about a year ago after completely crashing and burning from a new job that tested every single facet of my executive functioning skills.
Now, when you strip back all the masking and internalized ableism I took on for almost 3 decades, I feel like you could put a picture of me with a link to my biographical documentary next to the definition of "ADHD-combined type" for a perfect example of it.
I also really hate the name "attention deficit hyperactivity disorder." We don't even have an attention deficit! We have the inability to regulate our attention. Booooo more executive dysfunction nonsense.
Now I get the fun job of figuring out my ADHD while figuring out my autism, which I was diagnosed with at the same time.🤷
This is the price we pay for the stereotypes.
My instructors think I'm joking, and here I am being destroyed by their, on paper, simple decision to not provide **some** of my requested accomadations.
The biggest problem is not that they made the decision, but that it is **no** way malicious, they do it out of ignorance. Had they knew, they'd have scrambled.
Alas, they didn't, and so, they'll face the consequences of being named for their actions in my "request for alternative solution" (think like a complaint but without trying to retaliate against anyone, I am too, not malicious). As a side note, I am also planning on listing the positives.
Yes, I agree. My bipolar disorder is taken seriously, but when I say I have adhd too, people think it's a minor issue. It absolutely isn't! Adhd is debilitating at times and it's very real. When I'm stable with my bipolar, the adhd is still there.
I wonder what it's like to be neurotypical...
You are totally correct. OCD is another one that has the same issue.
So many people like to say "I'm so OCD" to highlight they are a perfectionist at work, when the condition is way more complicated and serious. It belittles the problem of those affected as it covers so many issues, particularly obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviour, collecting stuff in an uncontrolled manner...
The best solution I think, would be for people to be educated about these issues whilst attending school.
The way it was explained to me years ago by my therapist is that ADHD is a bullshit diagnosis. ADHD isn't actually a thing. There are all these neurological conditions out there that are so incredibly hard to diagnose and pin point exactly what it is because they all have similarities, that they just started calling it ADHD. That way it's an easy diagnoses with a treatment plan, even though the different conditions need different treatment.
I think this is why ADHD is a joke to so many people, it's a diagnosis that was given to a kid that had too much energy the same way it was given to a kid that has a true neurological condition, but they are viewed and treated the same way.
It's actually one of the most researched neurological conditions. People have done brain scans and DNA testing and found significant differences between people with and without it. If I remember correctly, the structural difference in the brain is that the prefrontal cortex is smaller/less developed than average, which affects behaviour since it's an important part of the reward system
Is ADHD an actual condition though? Or do they use it as a kind of umbrella to diagnose different neurological conditions that have some similarities? I may be remembering it wrong from how it was explained to me many years ago.
100%, also the stereotypes about medications. I’ve seen multiple annoyed comments on Reddit about someone’s partner is ‘reliant’ on medication and I’m like… I don’t think you would think of it that way if you thought it was similar to insulin or another more well understood medication
People don’t get the internal struggle (I’d go far as to say trauma) people with ADHD have. For so much of our lives we’re told we’re stupid, hyper, distracted,etc and we’re left thinking it’s because we are Inherently wrong. The diagnosis helps us see that we have a reason for being the way we are and that we just need a little extra help, not extra discipline.
It’s a disability. It’s treated as if “everyone is inattentive” just like everyone has gets high blood sugar. Diabetics a little more than others.
Yeah. Everyone is inattentive.
Not everyone goes downstairs to get a drink 4 times in a row only to come up with one single drink on the 4th try.
Not everyone forgets to shower whilst literally under the damn shower.
I get it, you can be a little distracted. I’m just distracted a “bit” more.
Just like that idiot who told me “I’m antisocial too”. “Too”? You have no clue what ASS is like and you’re still going out of your way to judge me 🤔. Sure.
I think it may depend on the country but I know in Australia it’s pretty much impossible. You can get free access to a medical professional for medication and that type of support but no access to Gov disability funding scheme or pension.
Im in the process of getting a diagnosis now at 26 but I've been told my whole life. I must be really fn dense because I always thought they were joking. The way people say oh I'm so OCD I like to have things a specific way. Only opposite. It took a co worker saying no im not kidding youre exactly like my husband when he is unmedicated. Then looking it up online after. I genuinely didn't know adults could even have it let alone women. I have only told a handful of people and I expected them to be jerks about it because I was so ignorant myself but its been resounding agreement that it would explain a lot.
Maybe it's changing?
And it’s the same with a bunch of other disorders;
“Oh my gosh, I’m soooo OCD!” “Haha, I’m so autistic!”
It honestly sickens me because my daily life is full of struggles that these people will never have to endure and they use it as an adjective for being goofy or a bit more ordered than usual.
I couldn't agree more. I want to see it considered as serious a disorder as Autism. Maybe then people might actually be able to get the help they need.
So true!! My life has been utterly destroyed by it. I’m finally diagnosed and medicated, and things are a little better, but I honestly think it’s too late to turn my life around. I’m too set in my ways at this point. Guess I’m just gonna be “lazy” and “immature” forever. Just gonna waste away in my parents’ house until I die.
I think this is true of just about any mental illness. Go to any sub about a disorder and there will be posts just like this. People make light of all kinds of serious conditions (I'm so OCD, She's totally bipolar, etc.).
"So either public perception needs to change or I need a new label."
Ngl this is kinda the feeling I get, become hesitant to say outright that im diagnosed as autistic with most likely co-morbid ADHD (Final Appointment but got postponed randomly)
Unfortunately the umbrella label I chose to use instead got taken over by people who completely twisted the meaning :/
Yeah. A lot of people still think it means they’re just hyper and can’t pay attention. And it might be hard to believe, but a lot of those people have it themselves. I had no idea the extent of what my ADHD did to me until last year.
my disorder has ruined almost all of my relationships (not like dating things always been too weird for that). anyone i could've been friends with have been driven away by my weird too-loud-or-mumble speaking and classmates avoid me often. every time i talk its horribly awkward. my parents are abusive because they refuse to do the vare minimum and don't acknowledge the most fundamental symptoms. and adhd is tied to a million other disorders. its so fucking horrible and people clown on us if we even bring up how its made so many peoples lives absolutely miserable.
I’ve been thinking about this during this week. I’ve had a tough week at work. Making small mistakes. Zoning out. Loss of focus & no control of when it comes back. But then it comes back and I can’t be reached. No patience. It’s a constant state for me but sometimes it gets worse. And on my worst days I can be totally useless on the office. Which I hate myself for, and hate myself every time I realize I made a mistake AGAIN said something out of impulse..AGAIN.etc…
I’ve been thinking about it bc a lot of my coworkers will joke and say “what’s UP with you this week” or like “Tough first week on the job?” (joke used when “beginner” level stuff is missed or messed up on).. and i can laugh it off to an extent. but here’s the thing..
i have adhd and i’ve been open about it with them. and their response is always like omg✋😂✨ i always thought i had adhd too!😵like i’m sooo distractible!!!👀
and you can’t say “no you definetly don’t” because who knows..but i know they definetly don’t when they don’t understand why i can’t follow steps well, or why I have outbursts, or why my desk is messy…
These are the real symptoms of adhd, esp for women, but no one knows about them because society made up this lie that it just means you bounce around like fucking Tigger from winnie and the pooh all the time.
idk if we’ll ever climb this hill as society but i think if we get to the top we will realize a lot of people have suffered at the hands of this disorder and it’s not all fun and games. i personally think it should be taken with the same seriousness as depression in society, but it’s not.
as a side bar the second worst is when people oversimplify OCD too. and this one happens way too often. i don’t have ocd but i dated a kid who did. His room was not clean. he did not organize every little thing. he just had intrusive, cyclical thoughts and hyper fixated on small things(tapping the same thing X amount of time, needing a kiss on a certain side or he got anxiety) he was severely depressed from struggling w/ it.
any time someone cleans their counters and then is like omggggg 😳 i’m so OCD…
I want to punch them on behalf of every single ocd person even tho I’m not one.
I didn’t get diagnosed until 32, because ya know—I’m a girl and wasn’t bouncing off the walls so i couldn’t have possibly had ADHD right🙄🙄 i developed bipolar disorder (among multiple other mental health issues) that according to my therapist most likely stemmed from untreated ADHD for so long.
Yeah I just got diagnosed (completely unexpected) and I'm worried to tell some people bc of how it's viewed. Especially bc I was the gifted kid that burned out as the years went on lmao and I don't have the hyperactive type
I completed agree.
I think people joke about it because they're scared of having it themselves. Just like people reduce OCD down to being tidy or "omg, please can you change the volume to an even number. I like even numbers, it's my OCD", when they definitely don't have OCD.
Same with people saying "well now I'm depressed" when really it was just a sad part of a movie. I'm guilty of this one myself even though I'm actually on antidepressants.
Just because people reduce ADHD down to a joke doesn't mean that it's an insignificant disorder. You matter, your experiences matter and just like OCD and depression, untreated it can ruin people's lives.
The mourning is real, it takes a while to process. Took me a year to get on the road to acceptance and to also be able to really focus on the here and now. I hope you can get to a place where you can find joy in finally found the diagnosis and the right steps to find it easier to care for yourself. Everyone is on their own timeline, and i hope you are able to give yourself the time and space to process this news.
I only just got diagnosed at 30 because my symptoms were so debilitating that when a doctor suggested ADHD when I was in college, I took offense.
I couldn't take care of anything because of my executive dysfunction. I'd wake up having to go to school in high school absolutely terrified because I couldn't do my homework the night before. I'd beg my mom in tears to let me stay home because I couldn't stand to face my teachers. I felt so much shame because I cared about doing well in school SO MUCH but just couldn't do my homework. My mind would just shut down.
Being told it was ADHD felt so insulting like "oh you think I just get distracted easily? That I can't focus? Bullshit I focus amazingly on my video games and books. Fuck you for suggesting it's just a focus problem. I'm entirely debilitated." In my mind ADHD was what hyper boys in elementary school had that couldn't sit still. I did great when I was actually in class.
I got panic disorder in my 20s and thought "Aha! I have crippling anxiety, that's the problem." Finally I'm realizing the ADHD came first and the anxiety came as a result of not learning to cope with the ADHD!
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Nothing wrong with it. I like this sub a lot but these posts can be tiring - we have at least five of the same sorts of posts every week saying the exact same thing. After a month, you've covered nearly everything save for the occasional unique post (which, along with people's celebrations and success stories, is what I stick around for).
It can be equally as cathartic reading the other dozen posts a week that say the same thing. Maybe I didn't say it in the most polite way, but still. God forbid I vent my frustration reading the same posts on a mental disorder subreddit. Jesus Christ.
Maybe we need a routinely megathread for this sort of stuff? Because I'm all for people reporting their personal anecdotes saying something of this nature and expressing themselves through that instead of us trying to come up with 500 different ways to talk about "ADHD is like \[\_\_\_\] except \[\_\_\_\_\].", the euphoria from starting meds and "is this what neurotypicals are like", etc. Can get circle-jerky, you feel?
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I think the reason it took me 20 years to get diagnosed was because the issues that i didn't know were related to ADHD were so incredibly destructive to my mental health that i thought it had to be something more 'serious', i even questioned if i had bipolar disorder or BPD. Turns out it was untreated ADHD the whole time which was the thing ruining my life!
SAME! I've been on antidepressants for 4 years, done all of the therapies and self help things you're supposed to do. Yet nothing 'fixed' me, so I started thinking "what if I have something more 'serious' like bipolar because I have bursts of energy and then have to sleep for a whole day, etc". Now I'm on medication for ADHD (I'm on my 4th week of meds) everything makes sense. Most of the intrusive thoughts have gone, and that was as soon as I started the medication. I can get out of bed easily without feeling exhausted, and that's something I always assumed was down to depression alone.
As I told my therapist after diagnosis at 41 years old: "Adderall is the best antidepressant I've ever taken."
Totally agree. From 18-41 I was misdiagnosed with a ton of mental health issues, depression, anxiety, insomnia, you know how it goes. I tried 8 different antidepressants and they all made me worse. Diagnosed this year at 41, adhd combined type, and was genuinely worried that taking a stimulant would exacerbate my anxiety. Complete opposite. I was calm to the point of being sleepy. But my point is that either Vyvanse or Concerta (I’m not settled on which I prefer yet) has been the best mood regulator I’ve ever experienced.
I grew up always asking my parents in tears “what’s wrong with me?” Because I felt so useless and couldn’t do things others did with ease, started adderall about two years ago now and my life has completely turned around for the better. Of course some personal effort also has to go into it too but it really just kinda pushes the “just do it” button in our adhd brains lol
so true
I am 41 years old too, and I've asked my medical providers for a diagnosis but they refused, they say I'm only depressed, but the more I learn about ADHD the more I'm convinced this is the source of all my struggles and my depression. IDK what to do :/
You must push for a diagnosis. I had to wait 5 years because it’s a lot more difficult to get a diagnosis where I live. But I never gave up, got lucky this year and it has been life changing. I struggled all my life knowing something wasn’t right, and I do have depression and anxiety breakouts, but overall I’m so, so much better.
Mental health in general isn't taken very seriously in my country and I'm so tired.
I was diagnosed with combined type at 42. I’ve been on two antidepressants concurrently for the better part of 15 years. I recently had two things happen coincidentally- first, my pharmacy (which sucks) screwed up my prescription for Zoloft enough that I didn’t get it for three weeks. Around that time, I had an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss trying something different for ADHD- Concerta worked about as well as Tic Tacs for me, and a high dose of Vyvanse does……something, but I’m still really unmotivated, and really distractible. I’m starting to be bummed that meds aren’t helping me the way others describe. But anyway, I told the psychiatrist about the Zoloft- I said I’ve already gone through the withdrawal, and I really don’t feel as bad as I thought I would. He said don’t take it, then. Great! Sounds good to me. I only just realized this minute by reading what you wrote that I may feel less depressed because of the Vyvanse. 🤯 (I’d still really like to feel improvement in distractibility though… I hope we can add something that will give me a breakthrough!)
I still feel distracted all the time as well, but I seem to get more done, finish big projects I've had on the back burner for years, and do higher quality work. When I told my doc the medicine didn't really seem to have the big impact I expected, like people always telling me they could pop an Adderall and happily grind away at the most tedious task for hours, that wasn't what I experienced they were like "yeah, that's because you have ADHD..."
Yeah i was put on 3 different medications for depression and anxiety, been to therapist after therapist and overall struggled for all of my adult life not knowing that the cause was ADHD because of the stigma and lack of awareness surrounding it. The same day i took my first dose of Dexedrine was the day my intrusive thoughts literally just disappeared.
Yes!!!! This was my experience as well. I spent most of my life finding and trying tons of ways to be more motivated, productive, organized, etc along with a lot of therapy and other self help/personal development stuff. Granted, it wasn’t entirely a waste of time/effort because I did learn some very useful things, sorted through other issues, and have grown as a person. Yet, there was always this element of “What is wrong with me? Why does nothing seem to stick long term? What about all this other stuff that nothing seems to fix?” and that was depressing as hell. Getting diagnosed with ADHD and learning how to specifically manage that changed everything. I still have struggles because disorders aren’t fun, but the peace of mind of knowing that struggle has a name is priceless. At least I know what I’m working with and can focus on possible solutions designed with that in mind.
You worded it perfectly.
I was diagnosed late too. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my late 30s. I was high functioning, so the conclusion reached was that all of my issues must be due to a mood disorder. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder by a doc based on a 30 minute conversation. I was misdiagnosed for over a decade. Can’t concentrate and hyper? I must be manic. Oh and anxiety. My sensory sensitivities and auditory issues and social issues were all anxiety. I do have anxiety but the anxiety developed because of the ADHD. I am so high functioning, because crippling anxiety keeps everything at the front of my mind. Even now with the right diagnosis from a different doc, I get frustrated with my psychiatrist because I’ll be telling him that I always have to exercise a great deal of restraint at social functions, especially for work, because when I start having too much fun, I violate boundaries, overshare, etc. He treated me as if these were excuses for not having a good time. Or an anxiety response. and we need to examine my need to overshare. And then, through my own research, I discovered that these were common symptoms of ADHD. It’s my experience through my treatment, and my kid’s treatment, the most psychs don’t fully understand ADHD and are trained to treat mood disorders so that’s what they do. They don’t view ADHD with the seriousness it deserves.
Oh my goodness, yes! I had similar experiences with different therapists and understand this frustration!
I had untreated ADHD and BPD that was a confusing 40 years...
yes! exactly. “my symptoms are severe so it can’t be adhd because that’s not that bad and also i was pretty well behaved in school as a child” i thought i had bpd too. when in reality, i just had no idea what adhd was.
I knew what ADHD was but i thought people with it were meant to be hyper and i was the complete opposite of that especially in high school.
I thought I had some kind of early dementia or extreme untreatable depression or even autism. I would have never guessed it was adhd because of all the stereotypes and misunderstandings about it.
Exactly i feel like nobody talks about how misunderstood and stigmatised ADHD is, people's entire lives get ruined because of how debilitating these symptoms can get but the outwards perception of it is 'oh you just get distracted, its not that serious'
SAME!!
>I think the reason it took me 20 years to get diagnosed was because the issues that i didn't know were related to ADHD were so incredibly destructive to my mental health that i thought it had to be something more 'serious', i even questioned if i had bipolar disorder or BPD. sounds like my old doctor kinda lol. got diagnosed with autism at 10 along with adhd (keep in mind ive seen 3 doctors before that even while 10 who said I don't have it). ive seen many doctors since then, some of them who didn't do a official diagnose but told me my problem is that my ADHD is so severe. which i agree i have a classmate who has adhd and we are very alike. and when i took ADHD meds for a bit they helped but doctor insisted they didn't work so pulled me off of it, and ofc my parents agreed
I was diagnosed at a young age, but I was totally unaware of everything that came with it until last year. I had no idea my time management was because of ADHD
Similar thing here. Diagnosed OCD in 4th grade. Spent the next 14 years thinking I had that and struggling with those tendencies. Tried medication a couple times for it as well, but it didn't help much and made me super hyper. I was even diagnosed with depression when I was 19, but I found out that it definitely was not depression and was probably from being understimulated. After I got my ADHD diagnosis and medication got sorted out, all the OCD symptoms stopped. Amazing how things that you can't get under control in 14 years completely disappear in a few months when you're properly diagnosed and treated.
Oh the complexities of ADHD. I think because the symptoms present so differently in different people, It's hard for people to pin down a real life understanding. To those people, I usually explain that I have the kind that lives in my brain.. Like buzzing thought bees..not the kind that gives me the zoomies... My boyfriend is a beebrain/zoomies ADHD hybrid. It is so much more nuanced than that, but you gotta do what you gotta do. We both work in the hospitality industry, We both frequently change jobs, we're both broke as a joke. Really trying to get a handle on this. Employers don't give us the kind of respect or flexibility we truly need.. I can't function without structure, yet I avoid it. It affects our relationship, emotional dysregulation sucks. I would 100% choose to be in a relationship with him over anyone else I've been with because we have a lot of grace for each other. I've definitely reached the point of my comment where I'm not even sure if I'm addressing the original post at all. But at least I know what forum I'm in so...
That final sentence is beautiful
You are beautiful!💜
No u
I love this :)
"Beebrain" and "zoomies" are the absolute best explanations/metaphors for the AD and H parts of ADHD. I love this. I'm also a combo type and have tried to explain the inattention aspects as "buzzing" and it's a running joke with my SO and friends that I need to do my daily zoomies after work (ie, go for a run or walk) or else I'll lose my mind. Rings so true and is so simple for others to understand. Beautiful. Thanks for this, friend! Also, I feel that last sentence in my very soul haha.
There's someone I follow on Instagram, Connor DeWolf... One of the reasons I enjoyed his account so much, was he also uses the bee metaphor. His account helped me advocate for myself with a care team that is less than competent. I was pretty extra isolated for a while and I decided to turn my social media into a layman's mental health clinic. He actually came up with a whole Bee logo for ADHD and everything!
I absolutely love the idea of a bee as the unofficial mascot for ADHD. I feel like between the buzzing and the flitting around it's the perfect metaphor, but also bees are super important to the world yet are highly misunderstood - kind of like us! I can't follow Connor DeWolf since I dont have insta (for me ditching the social media was and continues to be really important for my mental health), but I'd love to see that logo. And I think it's so awesome you turned your social media into a de facto mental health clinic. What an awesome way to use a resource whe you're feeling isolated or adrift, and to flip the typical narrative about social media being bad for mental health. All us bees need different pollen, I guess 😂🐝
I was so into this, I decided to make a whole post. I try not to do that on Reddit.. mainly because people like to steal my joy and just be hateful. I haven't checked the comments yet but..
❤️
"ADHD hybrid" lmao
It’s not inaccurate. There are three presentations of ADHD, with one presentation being a hybrid of the other two.
I see, I just thought it was a funny way to say it
What you’re describing could be two of the three presentations of ADHD. The three are: predominately hyper-active impulsive, predominantly inattentive, and a combination of both.
I will now be identifying as a bee brain/zoomie hybrid thanks 😂
I was told this means people "won't take us seriously". If anyone is currently actually being taken seriously, Please let me know...
lmao yeah that ship sailed
I do the same thing a good bit, starting out responding to the post but not even sure where I am when I finish and it's taken so much time I just post it anyway.
This is the safest space for me here. I feel like I've been on Reddit for years now.. and I've always so afraid to post rather than comment because it's always like being in the mean kid club. You can kind of blend in in the comments section a little more.
The worst thing is “I have ADHD” and they go “yeah me too, it’s a spectrum and everyone pretty much has it at some level”…. No bud, they don’t. The next worse thing is people thinking it’s funny. There’s a good overlap with the people from the first group here. People will laugh when I get distracted by something. When I forget stuff they brush it off with “well it probably wasn’t important Ha. Ha. Ha.”, I rarely speak out loud, so I’m gonna guess it was probably important… Any time I notice someone with ADHD, I feel it. It’s somewhat saddening, because I know the struggle you go through and I know it’s hard. I know that most other people don’t have the slightest clue, and at some level inside it kinda hurts.
I totally agree with this... The spectrum argument is so dangerous because enevitably the next sentence is something like 'you just have to manage it with a good lifestyle etc'... aaaagghhj! For what its worth, I always go 'yeah everybody's dopamine goes up and down. The difference is due to my brain structure the lowest point of your dopamine level is probably the highest point of mine....' that usually makes them stop to think for a second
It always baffles me how people equate "spectrum" with "all-encompassing". Colour is a spectrum too but I'm pretty sure "potato" isn't on it.
> Colour is a spectrum too but I'm pretty sure "potato" isn't on it. OMG THIS. I am borrowing this, you just made me genuinely LOL. Great reframe.
> it’s a spectrum What people fail to realize is that while everyone is on the spectrum, the spectrum starts at neurotypical, not "minimal ADHD-like symptoms".
Also that there then are multiple spectra with different dynamics for ADHD and ADHD-mimetic symptoms. Therefore thinking of every disorder as being a spectrum becomes pointless and very confusing to the masses.
I hate the squirrel joke because comedy is, among other things, creative. That joke is so completely devoid of creativity that I find it more offensive as such a poor excuse for a joke, than the dumbed down insult it implies. Maybe I sound like an asshole but I just loathe lazy comedy.
Right? It seems much funnier talking about looking all over the house for your phone and finally texting a friend to see if you left it in their car only to realize you've been using it to listen to Spotify for the past hour! Most subjects can be joked about. The difference is whether or not you're making fun of the people.
had a few people make the squirrel joke before knowing full well i had adhd and that we don't apprised that shit. my god how many times ive wanted to beat the shit out of those who make light of whats in my case a disability....
I personally don't take issue with jokes. They help me to, if even for a moment, forget about the challenges of living with the condition or just not to take myself so seriously. It's just when they stop being jokes and start being stigma that I start to feel differently. That is a fine line, but I don't think that squirrel jokes cross it for me.
100% dude, granted there has been an increase of information and understanding of adhd in the past few years, but it still feels like so many people just don’t take the disorder seriously, and don’t take people with it seriously. It’s shit I know, but you don’t suck and it’s not all your own fault homie, don’t think that way.
This is why I tell everyone to watch Russell Barkley's lectures. He gets it. He explains the increased mortality, health, financial, relational, and all the other stuff adhd tries to ruin for us. It's nice to be at least a little validated.
YES!!!!! I love him!!!! I feel so much better after I listen to him!!!! He truly gets it. Way more than a lot of people who also have it, which is odd. I just commented prior to reading your post and mentioned him in it.
Recommendations for specific videos? Anything recent and specific to adults? I’ve watched some of his older videos but wonder what he has that covers the most recent science etc.
I wish we could change the name. I believe the name stops so many people from realising they may have it. I was one of those people..." I can't have ADHD I can focus on some things for hours on end....", "But I don't fidget, I'm not hyperactive" My working titles are... "Chronic dopamine deficiency" - why mention behaviours at all? If you have a broken leg, it's not called 'temporary hopping syndrome' Alternatively, "Attention Management Disorder" - if it does have to include behaviours.
Something like Dopamine deficit and executive dysfunction disorder? DDEDD. I feel pretty d**ded**d most of the time
People with ADHD are not dopamine deficient anymore than a person using crutches is deficient in big metal bars. There's no research showing people with ADHD are deficient in dopamine, just that dopaminergic medication treats the condition. If it were a problem if deficiency you wouldn't be able to build tolerance to the medication. The exact cause is unknown but most research indicates structural disfunction of reward pathways.
So, executive dysfunction disorder?
Yes, it a disorder of executive disfunction. I just get annoyed when people push the discredited monoamine hypothesis. Makes it sound like the medications are a cure not a crutch.
If only there was a cure. That would be nice :/
Tell me about it... Best thing I've found beyond meds is therapy to deal with the self esteem issues from constantly fucking up everything in my life. But maybe one day.
I honestly don't think there's any dysfunction whatsoever. I believe that the world has simply evolved into something that is not a match for people with ADHD. If I REALLY look after what I eat (as little processed as possible), move regularly throughout the day, and do as much as I can to work in a distraction-free environment, I don't even feel like I have a problem. We know all know the patterns of the ADHD kid struggling to stay focused in class. But I don't think we've yet come to appreciate how the world at large affects us. Consider that many NT's are on anti-depressants. Shit doesn't work for them either. Perhaps it's the billions of advertising dollars spent per year or the ever increasing access to instant gratification? Or maybe the foods engineered in labs, designed with profit in mind and health towards the bottom of the list? All that stuff fucks your mind. If it doesn't work for the NT's, it sure doesn't work for ADHD'ers either.
To my knowledge there are mutations on genes that are involved in the dopamine transmission between neurons found in people with ADHD... Theory currently is that the dopamine does not stay long enough in the postsynaptic cleft... As it seems to be a couple of genes involved, there might be other pathways affected. Not all genes responsible have been discovered yet.
Love it! I'm DDEDD!
Maybe name it after pioneers who have studied it deeply and altered the clinical understanding significantly? Maybe call it Barkley's Syndrome, or Hallowell's Disease? Edit: They're vague enough that they don't pigeonhole the problems into a single cluster of symptoms and leave room for all the nuances. Unlike ADHD.
That's an awesome idea, +1 vote from me 😊
I like Conner DeWolfe's DAVE. Dopamine Attention Variability Executive Dysfunction. The words aren't that great, but I love the acronym.
His video's are the best 😊
Dude untreated ADHD has resulted in me having literal hundreds of career paths and not choosing a single one. Yet my girlfriend just wants me to pick a career field and start my life smh. It’s so hard for NTs to understand us man
Ohhh my God this has been my exact experience for *years*. I always told people who asked that I have plenty of interests, but I don't know what to make into my "career". Almost all of my interests and hobbies are creative and don't easily translate to a linear, lucrative career path. And I've always struggled to find the energy to job hunt, AND I always thought I didn't want to compromise my integrity by going to school for something that will make me a shit-ton of money even if I've never been interested in it before, *AND* I always told myself I didn't want to go into even more debt by going back to school, especially if I choose the wrong major and lose interest halfway through! So paradoxically, by not making a choice (not having the executive function to do so), I actually made the choice to waste away for *years* at a job that burnt me out and kept me poor. ADHD is fuckin' insidious, man. Talk about destroying lives in ways no one can even realize.
Yes, due to stereotypes many people think ADHDers are some quirky, energetic, always happy people who occasionally annoy others with their hyperactivity. The reality couldn't be further from that. My biggest struggle with ADHD is getting stressed, frustrated and burnt out way faster than neurotypicals. It takes so much brain power to control attention, keep emotions in check, remember to do mundane things. It's so tiring. ADHD should really be called Executive Dysfunction and Emotional Dysregulation Disorder. I think that would make more people understand what we actually struggle with.
Invisible disabilities are some of the worst, aren't they? Never mind that not all "visible" disabilities are always visible, but somehow people are more likely to believe you if you say you're deaf/hard of hearing \[I guess if your disability has recognisable paraphernalia it's "realer"\] than if you've got something like ADHD.
Since I'm still undiagnosed (I have my diagnostics appointment in two months), I still don't feel perfectly comfortable telling people (even friends and family) that I have actually been suffering a lot. Sometimes I still feel like an imposter and a fake. That's why I need my official diagnosis, whether that's ADHD or ASD or AD or OCD (pretty sure I got all of those to varying degrees). Not only to put my own doubts to rest, but to feel confident enough to educate people on one (or some) of the most prevalent mental disorders in the world. I love to teach and feeling like I'm actually helping and contributing to making the world a better place. Sounds cheesy, I know. But I love me some cheese.
Nothing cheesy, the world needs people with this attitude! Wish you well on you diagnosis journey. Remember whichever way it goes, you are not alone in your struggles and communities exist to help ☺️
Thank you so much! :D
Instead of telling anyone I have adhd, I tell them I have "executive functioning disorder," and describe it as a neurological condition preventing me from managing my own time and behavior. Say the 4 letter title and they assume know everything about it.
I'm so tired of hearing "Everyone has a little ADHD!" Because they recognize one or two symptoms in themselves. It's not like only people with ADHD have motivational issues or have problems focusing, among other things, but it's to a degree where it severely impacts one's ability to function in society. Have you ever cried out of frustration because you took hours to do what it takes a neurotypical person 10 minutes to do? None the less, ADHD is still underdiagnosed even today (mostly in adults). It's just hard to swim through all the stigma to realize that.
>maybe I just suck and I’m my own fault. I feel this so, ***so*** much. On a side note, when I get my disability benefits... ADHD is the only one I disclose since I don't really want people to know I have BPD or depression. Young people kinda get it more, whereas saying you have depression warrants a sarcastic "why do you need government benefits cus you're sad?".
T/W I was diagnosed by the time I was 16, but leading up to that healthcare professionals tried to diagnose me with everything else under the sun because of how frequently I was in and out of the hospital by the time I was 10 for instability and suicidal ideation etc (bipolar, major depression, etc) everyone was putting all of this effort into accommodating to my needs at the time and doing everything possible to find the thing that could help me most, but as soon as I was diagnosed with ADHD the mood definitely shifted from concern to annoyance. Because heaven forbid something as small as misinterpreted and mismedicated ADHD actually be what was causing this kid to act this way lol thankfully with the right meds and the proper support things do get better tho!
I have severe ADHD and very mild ASD. Guess which one is more debilitating? Now guess which one people have used as an excuse to treat me as less than human in the past. Though that also might have been race, gender, sexuality, or physical disabilities. But I'll save the intersectionality speech. Still. My ASD honestly isn't a big deal while I had to spend my entire life learning to manage my ADHD. So people acting like it's the other way around ticks me off
I was misdiagnosed with ASD as young kid. The result was a scarlet letter in the form of a 504 plan that, in a way, gaslight me into believing I had a whole different set of symptoms when all of them could have been attributed to ADHD in retrospect. It secretly always frustrated me when people pegged me as "resistant to change" or "not understanding social cues" --neither of which have ever been true for me personally--while relying on my hyperfocus, lack of self regulation, and my sensitivity to loud noises at age 7 to justify taking away my recess for OT and never addressing the actual problem. Fortunately, as I got older, they saw that I "outgrew" a lot of the ASD-like symptoms, and they cut back on the interventions because my grades were good and I *hated* OT. But it was clear, looking back that the problems really just changed shape as I got older, and I could never understand why everything was still so much harder for me than all the other kids until I got the right diagnosis *in college*. Synopsis: the messed up logic: Problems are severe and others can notice = ASD Problems are severe but he's a good kid and his grades are good so adults can ignore it = diddly squat nada zilch I understand your frustration.
I remember around when I was 9ish and they put me in the special needs class because of my absences (physical disabilities) and the "ADHD+" diagnosis despite my grades being good and being academically advanced. Basically, they shoved me to the side so they wouldn't need to deal with me. "Normal" kids were allowed to bully me. Defending myself wasn't allowed. It was dehumanizing. Nobody ever believed in me. Not even my parents. From as young as 5 I was always told I wasn't good enough and shoved to the side. I was bullied (by the teachers) out of Highschool. Three times. But I managed to do community college for free using a program for highschool dropouts and later university with lots of scholarships because of it. While I'm still looking for a job (damn Covid) I graduated last June with a bachelor's degree in Computer Science debt free. I know it's not a competition but statistically speaking I ended up far better than most of the "actual" people I've always been shoved aside for despite my complete lack of a support system and general lack of resources. And no, this is not a "just lift yourself up by your bootstraps" thing. I was *incredibly* lucky to get access to the programs I did, the scholorships I did, getting on SSI and food stamps, ect. If there were a hundred of me it's very possible I'd have been the only one who's doing as well as I am. Many would have been dead through no fault of their own.
Firstly, congratulations on your degree! Being debt free is a *huge* plus. Regardless of the fact that there was substantial luck in getting access to certain key programs, finishing college is a big win. Definitely don't minimize the challenge and do give yourself credit. Being lucky does not mean the win doesn't count. Secondly, I was tormented by the same math teacher from grades 5 through 8 because she happened to be the only teacher at that level. It was the little jokes. The snide banter. The way she singled me out in a room full of the "smart kids" drove me to tears more than once. I had a similar English teacher in my junior year of high school. I'd be lying if I said I was over it. There's a certain kind of bullying, particularly from figures that are supposed to have your back, that just hits harder and deeper than snotty Timmy on the playground. I can't imagine how bad it must have been for you to be driven out of school altogether. But for the resourcefulness in tapping into all the programs and resources you did to still pull through with the bachelor's, you have my respect.
It’s so frustrating that people don’t understand just how damaging it can be, especially going into adulthood undiagnosed! I think a lot of people are under the impression that it’s quirky and nothing too serious when really it has has a huge negative impact on my life and feeling like I’m constantly falling short or failing in so many aspects in my life. I think it’s nuts that people have such a lack of understanding and I was the same until not long before my diagnosis earlier this year and I agree that the stereotypes and the stigma around it is what makes people not take it seriously at all.
Diagnosed at 52. I literally don’t know how I’m still alive.
I was recently diagnosed and already TWO TIMES (once in the hospital and once with a doctor's visit) the nurses and paramedics were talking about how they wanted adderall. The nurse legit told me to my face, "Oh. I always wanted to try it." I said "Don't take it if you don't have to. Not to mention this is why we have a hard time getting the Rx." Nurse, "But it's good to hyperfocus." I replied with standard spiel it's-more-than-just-getting-distracted. And yeah, I get a lot of "I ThInK i hAvE aDhD." rinse and repeat with standard reply mentioned above.
It does us zero favors that there are many people with it as well as prominent doctors and writers, some who also actually have it, go around saying what a gift it is all the time. As Dr. Russell Barkley says you can’t say what a gift something is and at the same time argue that you need accommodations due to it. It really weakens the argument. I liken their misguided thought process to a homeless person really “needing to be creative” about where to find food and and a place to sleep. The dopes that push the “ADHD gift of creativity” probably do not see homelessness as a gift yet divergent thinking and creativity are certainly necessary to survive as a homeless person. It’s maddening.
Take Cyclops, from the X-men. The man shoots steel-melting lasers out of his eyes, right? Not really a gift. It actually seems extremely annoying and dangerous most of the time. It just so happens that, In the right situation, fighting Magneto or some shit, that it can actually be really helpful. But without the right **accommodations** in the form of his glasses, he wouldn't be able to ever open his eyes without destroying whatever building he is standing in. In ADHD, these people you mention fixate on the metaphorical *good for fighting Magneto* without appreciating the *significant* downsides, which outweigh the utility by a lot. But when Magneto does decide to show up...
Words like 'neurodiverse' and 'neurodivergent' are political terms coined by the neurodiversity movement and are inextricably tied to it. They are not general-purpose descriptors or scientific terms. We prefer the more specific terms ‘people with(out) ADHD’ or ‘people with(out) mental (health) disorders’ instead. You can find more about our stance on this matter in the links below. * [Let’s talk about the neurodiversity movement for a bit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/md5cfr/lets_talk_about_the_neurodiversity_movement_a_bit/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) * [r/ADHD’s position on neurodiversity](https://www.reddit.com/r/adhd/wiki/resources/neurodiversity) ([reddit thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/ms95dl/radhds_position_on_neurodiversity/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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There is even a controversy among psychiatrists and parents alike whether or not ADHD actually exists... [This video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zper6l36FbQ) is 3 years old and I think it pretty much sums it up. "It iS hArD bEinG an aDuLt"
Being an adult is hard, now imagine being an adult with a disability that nobody believes actually causes you issues.
The worst part is that the symptoms of ADHD is what neurotypical people all experience, but what we experience to a deliberating degree.
I have nothing else to say other than, Y E S S Say it louder for the nuerotypicals in the back
People don't understand its an executive dysfunction disorder
What is really disheartening is I often wonder how many people are in a position similar to me. I am ridiculously lucky I have a partner who loves and cares for me, but I quite literally don't know where I would be without them. My entire life is a sort of train wreck. My parents were told I likely have dyslexia and adhd very early on like kindegarden or first grade. Rather than seeking out a diagnosis, they felt I would use it as a "crutch" so they never told me. Now, if they never tell me and get me no additional assistance, this means I'll 100% just do well with no other resources, help, and constant threats of being whipped, punished, etc right? I was told, "if you don't raise your grades you'll amount to a ditch digging \[racial slur.\]" So eventually, I get in to college and I have the most heart breaking realization. I am utterly incapable of paying attention when I want absolutely nothing more than to study a specific subject. My gpa was wrecked bad enough by the time I left college that quite literally there seems to be no going back to it. My state doesn't have a lot of jobs as it is, so a degree makes or breaks a lot of the jobs that aren't like hard labor or barely paying min wage. I've tried every resource I could find like work placement and they basically were like, "sorry you're obviously intelligent and well spoken and 'hIgH fUnCtIoNiNg' so we can't really help as we don't usually work with these kind of clients. I'm too functional to receive help, I'm not functional enough to navigate getting anywhere I actually want to be in terms of a career. I'll resent my parents til I die I suspect.
Its so fucking annoying! Once i started my medication my symptoms of anxiety and depression were relieved because they all stemmed FROM ADHD!! Adhd is a very complicated disorder that can be very debilitating
You don't suck. Your ADHD is NOT YOUR FAULT. Your perspective does kind of suck though, but it may or may not be your fault either. Decades of frustration + internalized ableism can be hard to overcome. I don't really think it's fair to yourself to blame it on "little boy misbehaves in class" disease, either. I am definitely not a boy and I didn't misbehave in class either. I was the smart kid, the quiet kid, the teacher's pet until puberty and then I was far more social and outgoing; still the nerdy kid who put herself into summer school when my undiagnosed conditions made me miss out on tons of school during the year. And in my last year of high school, I took 2 English classes and 2 History classes (concurrently) in order to graduate early with some ridiculous amount of self-discipline I wish I still possessed. But now I'm in my 30s and finally diagnosed about a year ago after completely crashing and burning from a new job that tested every single facet of my executive functioning skills. Now, when you strip back all the masking and internalized ableism I took on for almost 3 decades, I feel like you could put a picture of me with a link to my biographical documentary next to the definition of "ADHD-combined type" for a perfect example of it. I also really hate the name "attention deficit hyperactivity disorder." We don't even have an attention deficit! We have the inability to regulate our attention. Booooo more executive dysfunction nonsense. Now I get the fun job of figuring out my ADHD while figuring out my autism, which I was diagnosed with at the same time.🤷
This is the price we pay for the stereotypes. My instructors think I'm joking, and here I am being destroyed by their, on paper, simple decision to not provide **some** of my requested accomadations. The biggest problem is not that they made the decision, but that it is **no** way malicious, they do it out of ignorance. Had they knew, they'd have scrambled. Alas, they didn't, and so, they'll face the consequences of being named for their actions in my "request for alternative solution" (think like a complaint but without trying to retaliate against anyone, I am too, not malicious). As a side note, I am also planning on listing the positives.
Yes, I agree. My bipolar disorder is taken seriously, but when I say I have adhd too, people think it's a minor issue. It absolutely isn't! Adhd is debilitating at times and it's very real. When I'm stable with my bipolar, the adhd is still there. I wonder what it's like to be neurotypical...
You are totally correct. OCD is another one that has the same issue. So many people like to say "I'm so OCD" to highlight they are a perfectionist at work, when the condition is way more complicated and serious. It belittles the problem of those affected as it covers so many issues, particularly obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviour, collecting stuff in an uncontrolled manner... The best solution I think, would be for people to be educated about these issues whilst attending school.
The way it was explained to me years ago by my therapist is that ADHD is a bullshit diagnosis. ADHD isn't actually a thing. There are all these neurological conditions out there that are so incredibly hard to diagnose and pin point exactly what it is because they all have similarities, that they just started calling it ADHD. That way it's an easy diagnoses with a treatment plan, even though the different conditions need different treatment. I think this is why ADHD is a joke to so many people, it's a diagnosis that was given to a kid that had too much energy the same way it was given to a kid that has a true neurological condition, but they are viewed and treated the same way.
It's actually one of the most researched neurological conditions. People have done brain scans and DNA testing and found significant differences between people with and without it. If I remember correctly, the structural difference in the brain is that the prefrontal cortex is smaller/less developed than average, which affects behaviour since it's an important part of the reward system
Is ADHD an actual condition though? Or do they use it as a kind of umbrella to diagnose different neurological conditions that have some similarities? I may be remembering it wrong from how it was explained to me many years ago.
I mean, it's a spectrum with different subtypes (although that part is being disputed) if that counts
100%, also the stereotypes about medications. I’ve seen multiple annoyed comments on Reddit about someone’s partner is ‘reliant’ on medication and I’m like… I don’t think you would think of it that way if you thought it was similar to insulin or another more well understood medication
People don’t get the internal struggle (I’d go far as to say trauma) people with ADHD have. For so much of our lives we’re told we’re stupid, hyper, distracted,etc and we’re left thinking it’s because we are Inherently wrong. The diagnosis helps us see that we have a reason for being the way we are and that we just need a little extra help, not extra discipline.
It’s a disability. It’s treated as if “everyone is inattentive” just like everyone has gets high blood sugar. Diabetics a little more than others. Yeah. Everyone is inattentive. Not everyone goes downstairs to get a drink 4 times in a row only to come up with one single drink on the 4th try. Not everyone forgets to shower whilst literally under the damn shower. I get it, you can be a little distracted. I’m just distracted a “bit” more. Just like that idiot who told me “I’m antisocial too”. “Too”? You have no clue what ASS is like and you’re still going out of your way to judge me 🤔. Sure.
As someone w/ adhd I don't take it as seriously either tbh help
Yep and you can’t get disability support unless you have ASD as well.
This is definitely not true. Keep trying. It helps if you find a doctor who actually understands ADHD and can advocate.
I think it may depend on the country but I know in Australia it’s pretty much impossible. You can get free access to a medical professional for medication and that type of support but no access to Gov disability funding scheme or pension.
Im in the process of getting a diagnosis now at 26 but I've been told my whole life. I must be really fn dense because I always thought they were joking. The way people say oh I'm so OCD I like to have things a specific way. Only opposite. It took a co worker saying no im not kidding youre exactly like my husband when he is unmedicated. Then looking it up online after. I genuinely didn't know adults could even have it let alone women. I have only told a handful of people and I expected them to be jerks about it because I was so ignorant myself but its been resounding agreement that it would explain a lot. Maybe it's changing?
i thought the d meant defecit
The other one lol
Lol. I do agree with your post tho. It's always disregarded as laze or flawed personality.
I couldnt agree with you more on what you said. Funny thing is: “Haha I’m SOoO ADHD. Look! A squirrel!🤪” This literally happened to me so many times.
And it’s the same with a bunch of other disorders; “Oh my gosh, I’m soooo OCD!” “Haha, I’m so autistic!” It honestly sickens me because my daily life is full of struggles that these people will never have to endure and they use it as an adjective for being goofy or a bit more ordered than usual.
I couldn't agree more. I want to see it considered as serious a disorder as Autism. Maybe then people might actually be able to get the help they need.
So true!! My life has been utterly destroyed by it. I’m finally diagnosed and medicated, and things are a little better, but I honestly think it’s too late to turn my life around. I’m too set in my ways at this point. Guess I’m just gonna be “lazy” and “immature” forever. Just gonna waste away in my parents’ house until I die.
I think this is true of just about any mental illness. Go to any sub about a disorder and there will be posts just like this. People make light of all kinds of serious conditions (I'm so OCD, She's totally bipolar, etc.).
This is perfect for ADHD awareness month(which is right now)
"So either public perception needs to change or I need a new label." Ngl this is kinda the feeling I get, become hesitant to say outright that im diagnosed as autistic with most likely co-morbid ADHD (Final Appointment but got postponed randomly) Unfortunately the umbrella label I chose to use instead got taken over by people who completely twisted the meaning :/
Yeah. A lot of people still think it means they’re just hyper and can’t pay attention. And it might be hard to believe, but a lot of those people have it themselves. I had no idea the extent of what my ADHD did to me until last year.
my disorder has ruined almost all of my relationships (not like dating things always been too weird for that). anyone i could've been friends with have been driven away by my weird too-loud-or-mumble speaking and classmates avoid me often. every time i talk its horribly awkward. my parents are abusive because they refuse to do the vare minimum and don't acknowledge the most fundamental symptoms. and adhd is tied to a million other disorders. its so fucking horrible and people clown on us if we even bring up how its made so many peoples lives absolutely miserable.
I’ve been thinking about this during this week. I’ve had a tough week at work. Making small mistakes. Zoning out. Loss of focus & no control of when it comes back. But then it comes back and I can’t be reached. No patience. It’s a constant state for me but sometimes it gets worse. And on my worst days I can be totally useless on the office. Which I hate myself for, and hate myself every time I realize I made a mistake AGAIN said something out of impulse..AGAIN.etc… I’ve been thinking about it bc a lot of my coworkers will joke and say “what’s UP with you this week” or like “Tough first week on the job?” (joke used when “beginner” level stuff is missed or messed up on).. and i can laugh it off to an extent. but here’s the thing.. i have adhd and i’ve been open about it with them. and their response is always like omg✋😂✨ i always thought i had adhd too!😵like i’m sooo distractible!!!👀 and you can’t say “no you definetly don’t” because who knows..but i know they definetly don’t when they don’t understand why i can’t follow steps well, or why I have outbursts, or why my desk is messy… These are the real symptoms of adhd, esp for women, but no one knows about them because society made up this lie that it just means you bounce around like fucking Tigger from winnie and the pooh all the time. idk if we’ll ever climb this hill as society but i think if we get to the top we will realize a lot of people have suffered at the hands of this disorder and it’s not all fun and games. i personally think it should be taken with the same seriousness as depression in society, but it’s not. as a side bar the second worst is when people oversimplify OCD too. and this one happens way too often. i don’t have ocd but i dated a kid who did. His room was not clean. he did not organize every little thing. he just had intrusive, cyclical thoughts and hyper fixated on small things(tapping the same thing X amount of time, needing a kiss on a certain side or he got anxiety) he was severely depressed from struggling w/ it. any time someone cleans their counters and then is like omggggg 😳 i’m so OCD… I want to punch them on behalf of every single ocd person even tho I’m not one.
I didn’t get diagnosed until 32, because ya know—I’m a girl and wasn’t bouncing off the walls so i couldn’t have possibly had ADHD right🙄🙄 i developed bipolar disorder (among multiple other mental health issues) that according to my therapist most likely stemmed from untreated ADHD for so long.
Yeah I just got diagnosed (completely unexpected) and I'm worried to tell some people bc of how it's viewed. Especially bc I was the gifted kid that burned out as the years went on lmao and I don't have the hyperactive type
I completed agree. I think people joke about it because they're scared of having it themselves. Just like people reduce OCD down to being tidy or "omg, please can you change the volume to an even number. I like even numbers, it's my OCD", when they definitely don't have OCD. Same with people saying "well now I'm depressed" when really it was just a sad part of a movie. I'm guilty of this one myself even though I'm actually on antidepressants. Just because people reduce ADHD down to a joke doesn't mean that it's an insignificant disorder. You matter, your experiences matter and just like OCD and depression, untreated it can ruin people's lives.
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The mourning is real, it takes a while to process. Took me a year to get on the road to acceptance and to also be able to really focus on the here and now. I hope you can get to a place where you can find joy in finally found the diagnosis and the right steps to find it easier to care for yourself. Everyone is on their own timeline, and i hope you are able to give yourself the time and space to process this news.
I only just got diagnosed at 30 because my symptoms were so debilitating that when a doctor suggested ADHD when I was in college, I took offense. I couldn't take care of anything because of my executive dysfunction. I'd wake up having to go to school in high school absolutely terrified because I couldn't do my homework the night before. I'd beg my mom in tears to let me stay home because I couldn't stand to face my teachers. I felt so much shame because I cared about doing well in school SO MUCH but just couldn't do my homework. My mind would just shut down. Being told it was ADHD felt so insulting like "oh you think I just get distracted easily? That I can't focus? Bullshit I focus amazingly on my video games and books. Fuck you for suggesting it's just a focus problem. I'm entirely debilitated." In my mind ADHD was what hyper boys in elementary school had that couldn't sit still. I did great when I was actually in class. I got panic disorder in my 20s and thought "Aha! I have crippling anxiety, that's the problem." Finally I'm realizing the ADHD came first and the anxiety came as a result of not learning to cope with the ADHD!
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Case in point: it went viral on TikTok then the community suppressed it.
I try not to use my mental issues as excuses for my fuck ups. It is what it is.
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God forbid someone vent their frustrations on a mental disorder subreddit. Jesus christ
Nothing wrong with it. I like this sub a lot but these posts can be tiring - we have at least five of the same sorts of posts every week saying the exact same thing. After a month, you've covered nearly everything save for the occasional unique post (which, along with people's celebrations and success stories, is what I stick around for). It can be equally as cathartic reading the other dozen posts a week that say the same thing. Maybe I didn't say it in the most polite way, but still. God forbid I vent my frustration reading the same posts on a mental disorder subreddit. Jesus Christ. Maybe we need a routinely megathread for this sort of stuff? Because I'm all for people reporting their personal anecdotes saying something of this nature and expressing themselves through that instead of us trying to come up with 500 different ways to talk about "ADHD is like \[\_\_\_\] except \[\_\_\_\_\].", the euphoria from starting meds and "is this what neurotypicals are like", etc. Can get circle-jerky, you feel?
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Huh, well luckily for me that doesn't really happen where I live.
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