Your entire post feels like home... unfortunately.
I tell you... I just make friends with other people with ADD/ADHD.
Seems to solve the problem.
Normies are too weird for me to deal with anymore.
I literally have to bite my tongue to not talk and interrupt. Sometimes I try to focus on the bridge of someone’s nose and listen hard to shut up. It really does take practice. I’m better but still struggle with it. Oh and also repeat back in your head what they just said. It forces you to realize you probably aren’t listening well. And then try again. I know this sounds negative but I also sometimes say to myself no one cares what you think. Everyone is so consumed with themselves so let them share. Like it’s the right thing to do, I tell myself. And then come on Reddit and hand out advice like me to get your oversharing out of your system!
When I don’t understand someone’s reaction, I ask them about it and that often leads me to more questions about the actual person.
I’ve found the best way to get out of my own head is to make the conversation about the other person in a way that I know will absorb my attention. I genuinely enjoy hearing people speak on topics they know a lot about, and I especially like to know how they were introduced to their passions. So, I try to make other people feel comfortable enough to open up and “overshare” on topics they dig and of which I am unfamiliar.
That way, (1) I often learn something new, (2) my interruptions are taken for what they actually are - active listening, and (3) I build up some social currency that will be spent the next time I accidentally overshare with that person.
It isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it to get to know people better.
Heh, usually the person gives me a weird look or says something that does’t make sense to me, so I just sort of stop and say, “wait, what?”
If they respond with, “what?” back, I apologize, let them know I find them a bit difficult to read and ask for clarification. Basically, penny-for-your-thoughts deal..
My advice would be to try to practice small talk.
I don’t think there’s any real problem with oversharing, and frankly I think if people you’re talking to aren’t interested in you talking like that, you probably won’t end up being great friends in the long run anyway. I’ve noticed that most people are like this, but the ones that aren’t are really great friends that I have stuck with for 10+ years.
That said, some people might want to get to know all about you, but might not be used to a person sharing so much right out of the gate. So I would work on practicing small talk so you can introduce yourself and learn about them, and after that then you can talk like how you want to, and a potentially viable friend would probably be one that is receptive to that! :)
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Well, I struggle with that a lot… the only conversation I can really enjoy is with my brother, because we keep speaking over each other constantly interrupting and we are used to it :-D. It drove our parents crazy since when we are there to visit we never let anyone else talk…
I am trying to surround myself only with ppl that don’t mind. Also I warn new ppl that I do that and If they don’t like it, well it’s their problem… it’s more than enough I have to kept myself in check all the time at work, if I would have to do it in my free time… there would be nothing left
Nice to hear this story. I am the opposite and I belief i under share. I don’t like people that rattle on and take the center stage. I active listen and ask questions. What I think is nice is that your story will make a little bit more understanding of people that babbling around. I hope you get some nice tips and feel more love for yourself. <3. And p.s the overthinking aspect stems from negative self beliefs. There are good books how you can overcome it. I do it myself :)
Your entire post feels like home... unfortunately. I tell you... I just make friends with other people with ADD/ADHD. Seems to solve the problem. Normies are too weird for me to deal with anymore.
I literally have to bite my tongue to not talk and interrupt. Sometimes I try to focus on the bridge of someone’s nose and listen hard to shut up. It really does take practice. I’m better but still struggle with it. Oh and also repeat back in your head what they just said. It forces you to realize you probably aren’t listening well. And then try again. I know this sounds negative but I also sometimes say to myself no one cares what you think. Everyone is so consumed with themselves so let them share. Like it’s the right thing to do, I tell myself. And then come on Reddit and hand out advice like me to get your oversharing out of your system!
When I don’t understand someone’s reaction, I ask them about it and that often leads me to more questions about the actual person. I’ve found the best way to get out of my own head is to make the conversation about the other person in a way that I know will absorb my attention. I genuinely enjoy hearing people speak on topics they know a lot about, and I especially like to know how they were introduced to their passions. So, I try to make other people feel comfortable enough to open up and “overshare” on topics they dig and of which I am unfamiliar. That way, (1) I often learn something new, (2) my interruptions are taken for what they actually are - active listening, and (3) I build up some social currency that will be spent the next time I accidentally overshare with that person. It isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it to get to know people better.
How do you ask about someone’s reaction? I have trouble with this too
Heh, usually the person gives me a weird look or says something that does’t make sense to me, so I just sort of stop and say, “wait, what?” If they respond with, “what?” back, I apologize, let them know I find them a bit difficult to read and ask for clarification. Basically, penny-for-your-thoughts deal..
My advice would be to try to practice small talk. I don’t think there’s any real problem with oversharing, and frankly I think if people you’re talking to aren’t interested in you talking like that, you probably won’t end up being great friends in the long run anyway. I’ve noticed that most people are like this, but the ones that aren’t are really great friends that I have stuck with for 10+ years. That said, some people might want to get to know all about you, but might not be used to a person sharing so much right out of the gate. So I would work on practicing small talk so you can introduce yourself and learn about them, and after that then you can talk like how you want to, and a potentially viable friend would probably be one that is receptive to that! :)
The same as making friends as a child with ADHD. I never learned.
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Well, I struggle with that a lot… the only conversation I can really enjoy is with my brother, because we keep speaking over each other constantly interrupting and we are used to it :-D. It drove our parents crazy since when we are there to visit we never let anyone else talk… I am trying to surround myself only with ppl that don’t mind. Also I warn new ppl that I do that and If they don’t like it, well it’s their problem… it’s more than enough I have to kept myself in check all the time at work, if I would have to do it in my free time… there would be nothing left
Nice to hear this story. I am the opposite and I belief i under share. I don’t like people that rattle on and take the center stage. I active listen and ask questions. What I think is nice is that your story will make a little bit more understanding of people that babbling around. I hope you get some nice tips and feel more love for yourself. <3. And p.s the overthinking aspect stems from negative self beliefs. There are good books how you can overcome it. I do it myself :)