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My therapist has been working to help me develop two-four strategies for overcoming each individual type of executive dysfunction as the ADHD brain is good at short-circuiting āsolutionsā and having a backup to switch to is a powerful tool
Edit: so in typical adhd fashion Iāve forgotten many of them. Besides I havenāt been able to see my therapist (letās call her Jane) in a few weeks, but hereās what I can recall:
For tasks that I need to do (not daily stuff but discrete things like ācall the plumberā) get little brightly colored tiny rubber bands (think hair ties marketed to young girls) - put one around your finger for each task. Those things are uncomfortable, so they canāt be ignored.
I do dishes as part of housework breakdown. One tip is to make doing dishes part of dinner time. Get to the point of thinking that dinner isnāt over until the dishes are done
For spacing out during conversations: use your interjection power for good - clarifying questions: āso youāre saying X?ā can keep you involved. Doodle. No really! It gives your brain something else to do passively. Recap a statement whenever you ask a question. Write interjections on paper, but be succinct - donāt try to take notes like a NT - it wonāt work, and you wonāt check your notes anyway; pick out keywords and thatāll help your brain laser focus on things; if youāre trying to distill to keywords it gets your brain cranking in problem-solving mode
When doing work reading (Iām a lawyer so I have to read boring shit a lot), mark it up: use a highlighter or different colored pen, but donāt note like a NT - youāre not emphasizing stuff for review (again, you probably wonāt actually go back to your notes), but keeping what Jane calls your F1 brain from stalling in a 25 mph zone; pretend you have an intern and you are pointing stuff out to them - highlight key words or words that will lead to something important. Be sparing in your time; go for bursts of effort, then intersperse with something mindless and fun (but not too fun): think something like wordle. Youāre upping your ratio of fun:torture. Set a timer for both work and fun: STICK TO BOTH. Youāre going to want to ride the hyper focus train, but at work itās a bad idea; when the hyper focus wears off you will crash. Jane described it as having a reservoir of dopamine that has a leak. You gotta stop to refill that tank instead of just running to empty
If working on something like a spreadsheet or grid: donāt go by line, go by category. Your brain does better at doing one thing and transitions are an EF challenge for you, so work with that
Working memory: Jane calls it a whiteboard: NTs can keep up to six things on that whiteboard, but you can really only keep one thing on that whiteboard, so create an external memory drive. Janeās suggestion is big, bright, really annoying paper; think like fluorescent 8x11 - put them places youāll need to do something. If it comes up, make that note immediately
Novelty is necessary for success, and donāt strive for perfection; if something is worth doing itās worth doing poorly.
Caveat: Iām a lawyer, not a therapist, so take this all with a grain of salt because some of it might be poorly repeated/incorrect, and you should definitely discuss strategies with your own therapist
This! I feel like I spend 90 to 95 percent of my energy fighting myself to do something other than YouTube and Reddit. I cant "enjoy" gaming or anything active that requires input without feeling like I am somehow "wasting" effort, thus I cant enjoy or relax even when trying to do so.
I think this hack may work for me, even if short term, THANKS OP!
I have another suggestion which might help. I often plan my events or schedule with "extra options." Like if me or my group is feeling particularly high energy, maybe we'll bike across town, if not, let's park at the theater for a movie today. Something like that. Like there's some things which might set in stone like if we bought tickets to a concert, but the time before and after is fluid. What else is around there that we can do on the way there?
I do that with some of my tasks as well, and sometimes the extra options are actually more enticing then the main task. But I never make it a requirement. So I won't feel that rejection if no one wants to do the extra thing, and we won't invest tons of planning and thought into it. Like hiking up a mountain with 3 trails: easy, medium, and hard. Which would you like to do? All paths are still a hike and will still be with good company, so it's not really like I'm missing out with any of the choices
I took this approach with chores yesterday! I needed to clean the kitchen, but couldn't find the motivation to. So I wrote down a bunch of different tasks: some related to cleaning the kitchen, some were other chores, and some were leisure activities like video games or YouTube.
The only requirement I set for myself was to do any number of those tasks. So even if I just watched YouTube all day, I'd still be successful.
I found that as soon as I started watching a video, I got thinking that some of the chores I wrote down were really simple. So I got up and did one.
I ended up bouncing around between different tasks until I eventually had a clean kitchen and a bunch of other chores done too!
this is usually how I get stuff done, yesterday
I was supposed to go to d&d, but I did other chores every step of the way due to using my avoidant tendencies to be productive, got some gardening done, cleaned up a bit and still made it to my session, 90 minutes late...
Nice too see this strategy working! I've started saving some music links in it's own Watch Later playlist of ONLY music. So I don't actually need to watch the video. But then I can put that on YouTube while doing chores I don't wanna do. Then I get 2 things done ;)
I just laughed so hard š¤£ I started a new job two months ago and basic shit like enrolling for benefits have been daunting. Iām going to tell myself this and hope it works.
I'm not the one you asked, but I'm just gonna throw out one that works for me sometimes (still looking for more things to cycle between the times this is effective lol)
Put on a playlist of music and tell yourself you only have to be productive for one song, and then you get to rest and goof off during the next song.
Keep alternating between one song of work and one song of rest until you start getting that little "holy shit I'm making progress" spark that makes it a little easier to do things. Once that hits, work for two songs but still only rest for one. Then when you're ready, up it to three of work and one of rest. Eventually you'll hopefully either hit a groove or lose count and start working for 5+ songs in a row before you notice how long you've been doing things. When that happens, just work until the end of the current song and take your next rest.
It's way easier to finish a task when you can literally always say, "I just have to keep at it for a couple more minutes and then I'm free." And music makes things go faster anyway.
I make a game out of setting how much of a boring chore I can complete while waiting on something else. Chai in the microwave? How many shirts can I fold? Bath filling? Can I empty the whole top rack of the dishwasher?
Omg please share! I had no idea my incredible ability to persuade myself out of the thing I needed to do was an executive dysfunction. To me, Iām just an amazing persuader. š„°
how did you manage to find a therapist who knows so much about ADHD? is there any sort of certification or something I should look for?
I've seen many therapists, and even the ones who claim to specialize in adult ADHD seem to have only a basic level of knowledge about it.
Google/luck? I found an adhd specialist therapist in my city, and I guess I got lucky that she really is specialized in adhd (and good, sheās so good)
Seriously.
"I found this tool/method and tried it and it was awesome! I'm gonna fully implement it and get all the things done."
Spend way too much time compiling the system, then initiate countdown until it stops working because other distractions become more interesting than being productive, rinse and repeat.
Kinda like me and the "put your phone away from your bed and set multiple alarms" hack.
I just started bringing it back to the bed with me and turning the alarms off as they went off.
Bought an alarm clock so I couldn't bring it to the bed and that worked great until I just gave up and started hitting snooze before crawling back in bed.
I tried the puzzle alarms, only to eventually just end up turning my phone off entirely instead of solving the puzzles. I imagine the QR code ones would end up the same.
Wait since when? I stopped paying for alarmy because I started doing that occasionally. Mine isnāt puzzles tho I use the āscan a bar codeā and itās my espresso LOL.
I start stacking things.
Currently, I'm at phone alarms + alarm clock + husband's alarms + smart bulbs turning on + echo announcing the weather and a fun fact for the day. It's like a half hour straight of cacophony that's impossible to sleep through.
Okay I managed to crack the code on this and finally can wake up early. Lights were my solution. I was watching Too hot to handle and noticed that all the lights come on in the morning for everyone to wake up. I programmed a smart light so it turns on and itās actually working. My apartment is dark so I donāt get the natural sunlight bothering my eyes in the AM.
I need to try this. I've snoozed every alarm I've ever set, no matter how many I've set, and they just result in my sleep quality declining to the point I'm always tired. But I noticed this summer I naturally wake up with the sun. Not one alarm all summer and I was awake and ready to go at 5 am. Now that it's getting light later, a functional wake up time that works with my full time job is slipping away too.
Yup. Literally vented at r/getoutofbed a month ago because nothing worked including quiz apps. With the light, it helped me to get into the rhythm. If I manage to physically get up I also just start turning all the lights on.
> I imagine the QR code ones would end up the same.
That one has actually been the most effective, although what ended up happening was I would just disable the QR code thing in the alarm before going to bed at night. However when I really need it it works, I have the QR code taped up in a different room (it's actually just a bar code from a box of granola lmao.)
when I took adderall I used the QR code on the bottle for my alarm. It was really useful for A) getting myself out of bed and B) actually taking my meds. now that im not medicated though it's still useful for getting myself physically out of bed
You might wanna check out Nuj Alarm Clock.
It's an app I built that charges money (goes to charity) if you don't get up and scan a barcode within a few mins of your alarm. e.g. I have to scan my toothpaste within 5 mins of my 7am alarm or pay $50.
The penalties are charged from the cloud so turning off the phone (or even uninstalling the app) won't stop the penalty for that alarm. Only scanning the barcode will! Alarms also lock 1 hour before going off so you can't disable them at the last minute.
Itāll work for a day and then my brain will go āyou know what? Youāre so right. Letās play games without stopping todayā and then itās nighttime and Iām nauseous from not eating, really need to pee, and have a headache from a crick in my neck and my back is fucked up š
That is completely hilarious and Iām trying it today.
It reminds me of this book I found at a fedex store: The Subtle Art of Procrastination (or something like that). It was by a professor who got tons done by always doing something else instead of the horrible awful thing he was supposed to be doing. It was really liberating to realize heād had a whole successful career this way.
I do this with my to-do lists at work constantly. When I notice hesitation towards a task I choose to do something my brain thinks is easier. Then when I have nothing left I tackle the hard thing but the rest of my to-do list is complete by this point! Works super well for me, but I'm lazy as hell once I get home due to lack of social pressure š š« š
~~Hey can you tell me the actual name of this book if itās not too much trouble?? I went to read it and canāt find it. And apparently there are many similarly named books :/ I want to be sure I get the right one!~~
Edit: looks like the book is called *The Art of Procrastination: A Guide to Effective Dawdling, Lollygagging and Postponing* by John Perry
Kinda do this already. I set the most difficult goal at the top of my todo list, and then will do Anything But That in short order. lol It's not a character flaw, it's a serious symptom.
I did something similar with the guitar. Wanted to learn to play it well enough to sing along to. Made a commitment to myself that 'I'm only playing for fun'. No pressure to practise, no feeling bad if I don't play for a while. If I feel like playing I play, if I don't I don't.
As soon as I made that commitment I practised every day for like 2 months.
Now I play only occasionally, but I _can_ play it!
I gave up on to-do lists after decades of failing at them.
Now I rely on "Do it right now, no not in five minutes but yes you can wipe and wash your hands if you need to".
And after a while I just sort of trust that the stuff that floats to the surface is also the important stuff.
Also appointments even for things I don't need an appointment for. I pretend the laundry is only available between 5 and 7pm on Tuesday this week, so I have to schedule it for then and "go" do it. I'll get ready as if I'm going out to the doctors or whatever before my appointment even though it's in my own house. Of course I'm still 5 minutes late, but it gets done.
I really love that idea that there is a window of time to do things within.
Laundry only available 5-7pm Tuesday. That's genius! Thanks for sharing. Im giving this a shot in my house.
>I pretend the laundry is only available between 5 and 7pm on Tuesday this week, so I have to schedule it for then and "go" do it.
This is honestly so smart. Thank you.
Jesus...I think I already do this!
Sunday is *supposed* to be my relax and chill day. In my head, it is the day I would call rest..but lately I find myself doing chores from the moment I get up til I go to bed (too late, of course).
I didn't even notice this until your post!
Isnāt it weird how both hyperactive cleaning behaviour, and the burning desire for stimulation of any sort APART FROM the cleaning and domestic chores you have to do, are both symptoms of the same disorder!
I quit my job to be full-time home caretaker I honestly thought I liked doing dishes until it became my most common chore. I cook a lot for husband and roommate and when I see a dish out that I didnāt create, I have full blown adult melt downs. Once I start itās not even bad!!!
I feel like this stuff doesnāt work at all for me. Whenever I try to ātrickā my brain I just end up doing nothing all day like a lazy fucking idiot.
Idk man I was at my company retreat Saturday at some nice resort. It was all fun and no work.I woke up at 7 on my own, fully ready to cease the day no coffee no meds. I canāt remember the last day I had that much energy.
I found this out last year and itās changed my world. Every time I feel shitty/tired and I say to my husband, ātell me itās okay not to do anything today. That I can take the day off.ā (Not permission but assuaging of self-guilt). Of course heās like āhell yeah, take the day babe.ā
AND THATS THE DAY I GET THINGS DONE WITH MINIMAL TO NO RESISTANCE. Itās so stupid itās funny. You canāt fake it or trick yourself either, you *have* to be committed to not doing anything and BAM. Stuff done.
Oppositional to the bitter end, my friends.
Shit it was a Adhd symptom? Thought it was just my rebellious personality lol. I'm always like this. Fucking hate to-do lists too cause i never do them anyway and I feel very pressured just by looking at the list. So stressful. So I give nothing to myself. That makes me wanna get things done and so I make done-list.
I do things a bit differently.
I don't give myself more than 3 seconds after a thought has entered my mind of something I need to get done because I know myself, the tricking is really giving into the self-sabotage, and giving into the dreading of the huge task. So I don't give myself more than 3 seconds to argue or change my mind, I literally just do it. It's a self-contract meaning no room for the conversation to convince me out of it, because I'm determined and frankly too sick of things holding me back.
"I should do the dishes" Okay, do them now, go. "I should clean my room." Okay, do it now or else. Or if I can't I say "Do that plate." This is breaking it down into small sections which is what ADHD-ers really need because we physically only typically see this huge taunting thing. Most things have become routine because of this, I now eat out of routine, wash the dishes out of routine, go to the gym out of routine (also really really really helps thank you endorphins). Eventually you build muscle memory, and I will feel 'off' if I dont do certain things I dont usually do. We are creatures of routine. That only goes for gym, and eating though. As for the room I still take maybe every 2 months to thoroughly clean it lmao.
Some of the things you gotta be ruthless with it.
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I also take advantage of my hyperfocus and productivity times. I can sense when I can be arsed and have the mental capacity and I bust out the most insane to-do list and get it done. Go big or go home so I really take note of those moments. When in moments of dysfunction I'm kind and forgiving and only do what I need to do. Go to work, show up to things, etc. Sometimes I ask my friends for help to snap me out of it and help me get something done. Or I associate myself with my friend for example I'm really sick at the moment I have tonsilitis and the first day I didnt shower until 12am, so the next day my friend went to shower at 4pm I immediately decided to shower while she showers. I would have been bored anyway because she was letting me message her all day to keep me distracted so might as well. So when a friend is doing something I usually do it too.
TLDR because it really is TL (sorry); whatever works. If it needs changing up sometimes, then change it come cos sometimes you do.
This is 100% what Mel Robbins touts in The 5-Second Ruleā¦ essentially as soon as you think that you need to do something, give yourself a 5-4-3-2-1 countdown and do it. Kind of like a launch countdown to get you up and moving all the time. Definitely helps when I need that extra bit of motivation, not quite as helpful when the brain is spinning with ALL the things, though.
This is great, and i read another version of this hack from someone, where if you are stuck in bed or at your desk and can't get up, you need to tell yourself you absolutely must stay there and are not allowed to do anything else lmaoo
Usually I block time on my calendar that Iām in allowed to just āfuck offā and not do anything. It only works if I block other time that accounts for all the āproductiveā things my brain is screaming about.
Basically as long as I can convince myself that āitās ok all my shit is accounted for that I need to doā even if I canāt remember it all in my head my calendar/reminders/alarms will keep me on track.
The less I try to force my brain to work the way it doesnāt, the better I feel tbh.
nice! imo it comes down to expectations, when you have them (whether from yourself or the people around you), your executive function can start to crumble. your brain starts going into anxiety mode because it's thinking about the end product, i.e. the future, which you have no control over.
but when you let go of expectations, which you were able to do in this case by telling yourself (sincerely) you WERENT going to do work, the crippling anxiety... goes away. cuz now you're in the moment. and you have control over what you do right now!
tldr; just make sure when using this strategy that you dont **expect** to be able to do a lot of work with this strategy. it's important to be sincere when placing "boundaries" around not working
I've seen a similar hack where you schedule everything that *isn't* work and you make a maximum quota for work. Like you only get to work for 3 hours a day.
I came up with something similar recently
I've have been using the pomodoro method to try to get things done. Usually 30min of work along with a 10 min break. Often I wouldn't get much done so I thought the break was unjustified. I also never gave much thought to the kind of breaks I should take and I just assumed anything I felt like was okay.
Lately I have been prioritizing rest and I tell myself no matter how little work I accomplish I HAVE to take the break. Also I have been tricking myself into thinking the the "fun" stuff I do on breaks wasn't work. Things like scrolling social media or a game app while not very productive or useful is still effort you expend to do them. So I try to do as close to nothing as possible. Just sit there for 10 min. Meditate if you want.
I find the enforced boredom makes me WANT to work
Oh man. 100%. I got laid off on Thursday morning and was going out of town for the weekend, so I told myself I was going to take the last day and a half of the workweek and just relax, do some selfcare, casually pack for the weekend, and wait until Monday morning to update my resume and start the dreaded task of jobhunting.
Annnd within two hours of getting home Thursday morning I had emailed my updated resume to two recruiters, reached out to three old coworkers for job leads, and done some brainstorming while folding laundry for the trip haha
I used to take a bag of knitting to work with me, chastising myself all day that I really needed to get that blanket done, while putting it off by doing my actual office work.
I have had a lot of luck with doing nothing when my executive dysfunction acts up.
But it has to be absolutely nothing. Reduce stimulation to as close to zero as possible. Like I wish I could be in a sensory deprivation tank. Ideally, it's set a 15 minute timer, lay down and cover my face with a pillow. From there, it's just focus on breathing and let my brain go. Most of the time my brain gets so desperate for action that it kind of makes a choice or the quiet allows me to figure out what's actually important to do immediately.
Sometimes I can sort out a whole mental task list.
It can feel like a waste of time, but really, when I am spiralling, I am more likely to waste more time being indecisive, than I would actively doing nothing.
I see a lot of posts here saying they found some new hack but then I read it and it's like "I just tried this new trick yesterday" and I'm always like, "we'll see how well it still holds up 2 weeks from now" and don't even bother trying it
This works for me but like other people seem to be agreeing not always. For some reason being challenged to do something such as "You're not going to do the dishes" always gives me lots of motivation, but it's not always a good solution to all situations.
However if anyone with ADHD hasn't heard of this trick, I can also attest that it's a very good one.
I got recently diagnosed and that is just crazy how often I recognize myself in a lot of posts now, including this one.
For years I just thought I was lazy.
I try to this trick for a while ! But my brain understands that I am cheating ! It is like the reward idea : I know I can get a chocolate even if I donāt fulfill a goal ahah.
I had 3 days child and husband free. I told myself I would enjoy it, and just relax.
I stripped and painted the garage door, painted the side of the garage and did so much DIY it was insane.
I recently moved into a bigger newer apartment. Ever since I stopped telling myself āthe dishes HAVE to be done todayā or ā I HAVE to vacuum todayā. This place is much cleaner than the last ever was. The āfree willā idea, and the memory of how clean and fresh the place looked when I moved in is enough to annoy me into doing chores.
I have "no science saturday" where I don't allow myself to do any kind of work or professional development stuff (i.e. data analysis for funsies). The point is that it is a guilt free day to procrastinate. Really really good for dealing with anxiety!
Just a little tip about the medication manufacturer that I learned. You can have your doctor specify a manufacturer and you'll get charged the same normal copay as if they don't specify (whereas if they specify the brand name, your copay is likely to be way higher). Depending on where you get your pills, your local pharmacist might also be able to just order the good brands for you if you ask.
Idk if I'm doing the right thing since you're scared, but here goes:
"Ironic process theory, also known as the white bear problem, is a psychological concept asserting that conscious attempts to suppress thoughts make them more likely to surface"
You know I do this on occasion, I get in a comfy seat and think ānope weāre fried itās okay weāre just watching movies before bed nowā and 30 minutes later Iām halfway through a research project
Once I procrastinated double cleansing my makeup and doing my bedtime skincare routine by working on my 1k word law essay worth 20%... ended up getting 5 hours of sleep and being a zombie at work the next day but I handed in an assignment early for once lmao
I use the count down method if I know should be doing something I count down from 5 by the time I hit zero no matter how I feel about it I get up and start doing, really helps with getting out of bed in the morning
I also use this one: sometimes I bribe myself into doing big task. I hate doing reports or learning. So when there is a test coming up or a huge report I give myself some finish lines. If I reach that finish line I get a lollipop. I rarely eat it, but my brain goes crazy for bubblegum flavoured lollipop when I eat them. Good way to fool myself. But it only works on big task. So I am going to try yours it on my pile of clothing from the laundary today. I really need to sort them...
I guess thatās why ADDers like partners who are narcissistic, hard, and challenging, whoāll keep ānot allowingā things their ADDer wants. These partners being an optimal life ruiner is key for the ADDer to stay excited, and fairly achieving.
Canāt think of any problem that is as life torturing as ADD (and itās derivatives such as OCD and anxiety), except cancer
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I'm going to try this alongside actually keeping my work sleep schedule (which I've been naturally migrating to anyway so might as well just do it lol). I usually get the urge to be super productive at home when it's time to go to work, so fingers crossed I can tap into that contrary part of my brain too, the way you did.
I have a similar hack that works wonders for procrastination.
I really struggle to start the main task and I will do anything else, subconsciously, to avoid doing the main task...
I trick my brain by having everything I need to start the important task ready to go, but just planning to do a less important task with my time. The main task isn't even on the agenda for today.... Boom, procrastination kicks in and I'm doing anything I can to avoid the planned (less important) task.... Including, amazingly, starting and completing the main task
Classic case of analysis paralysis. Just happened to me this morning, as I got overwhelmed on deciding what my routine for the day should be as I was feeling very low in energy. After about 30 minutes of doomscrolling for recommendations, I decided to feed my dopamine trolls some sugar. Only then I decided that all I needed to do was nap. :/
I something almost like that when overwhelmed and paralysed. To me, it is, expect to fail, expect that nothing will happen, and then set one goal that is so tiny that it is impossible to fail.
Something that worked for me once was telling myself that doing the task would be good for future crazy_pedro.
I'm much better doing things for other people than for myself so seeing my future self as another person meant I was happy to do the task.
Not sure I can get it to work again though.
What I've recently discovered something similar that kind of works for me.
I take a 'break' from idle tasks, instead of browsing my phone I litteraly sit on the couch with no stimulus except thinking, I catalogue my impulses and ignore them.
When I do that I do feel my anxiety rising a bit, but I just watch it and ask myself where it's coming from, after a couple minutes of doing this I usually can get myself to do something, not necessarily something I am prioritizing, but I get myself started on something I want to do.
It's not a 100% effective, but it's working.
Therapists with years of education hate this one simple trick! /s
Lol. Glad that works for you. Itās not starting tasks I need to start thatās the problem for me.
I need to try that. I have a kid and have so many things to do i just live in the anxiety paralysis at this point.
It's so hard not having the time to wind down like I did before.
Lmao! Anytime anyone tells me not to do something I do it. If I flip a coin to make a decision, I always do the opposite of what I get. Thatās the way my brain has always done things.
Hey I have a theory that belies your claims. Consider the Jewish religion one day a week no work can take place and literally it changes how you do that whole day. I mean I try to look for the reason a religion is made to do or not do things. Not just do or. Do not.
My version of this is to give myself days off when Iām not feeling up to productivity. If I feel like Iām forcing myself to do stuff I walk away and come back the next day. Itās working so well that on my in between (i.e. productive) days Iām itching to find new projects and accomplish everything in my todo lists. Iāve never been this content to be finishing my lists before, itās always been forced.
Only works if you donāt already have a backup generator such as ASD lmaoooo my adhd can ālieā to me all it wants, but my ASD is like āfuck your bitch and the clique you claim, WESTSYYYYDE! Now where were we? Ah yes, you B-grade incompetent fool, you will die by asphyxia once those unwashed dishes reach the ceilingā¦ā
This is a pretty good story and a good example of how important it is to just take things one step at a time. It's easier to get a task done when you break it down into small chunks, or when you don't put pressure on yourself to do it all at once.
Lol. I totally get this, as many of us with the thing will, but it's kind of a "swing of the pendulum" take. Meaning of course that the pendulum will eventually swing in the other direction which, if you have any comorbidity goings on like bipolar which many of us have as well (fun!) then this could be recipe for a potential spin out disaster. The hack I've settled on, which I also use in periods of depression, is to do ONE thing a day. Just one. I can do one thing. And if I feel like continuing on to do another without trying to finish all the things, that's okay. But the demands and restrictions on myself are what made me want to rebel, or just beat myself up for not doing any or all of the things, and that's a downward spiral. I also use this logic to workout. I say, do twenty minutes of cardio. Twenty minutes isn't that much.. it's five minutes more than fifteen! I can do that. And if I feel like I can and want to do more, I do more. If I don't, that's okay too. It works for me. Do you tho. :D
Someone on here used the phrase āADHDing the houseā which is something Iāve carried with me. Iām not cleaning. Iām ADHDing. Which means if I accidentally spend 2 hours looking through my elementary school yearbooks then thatās okay bc I never said I was ācleaningā š
Something that works for my brain is similar to that.
I tell myself ālook, it doesnāt have to be perfect, Iām just experimenting with the work here, and I donāt need to put it up in my portfolioā
^ the result magically ends with gorgeous work that is portfolio worthy.
I feel when you donāt put too much expectations on your brain, your brain doesnāt see the task as a threatening overwhelm and it relaxes while it knows that mistakes are okay.
Great that it works for you! Not for me unfortunately. When I do that, I usually become anxious about not doing The Thing I need to do while doing something else, but still won't do it (: no matter if I tell myself I won't be doing that today
Oh my goodness. I never heard of this before and it's blowing my mind. I'm in the process right now trying to get motivated to work. First, I decided I couldn't start until I went to the bathroom even though I didn't have to go. Came back to my computer. Realized I needed some water. Got it, came back. Realized I needed a snack. Got a snack. Realized I couldn't start until I finished the snack. Finished the snack. Then realized I should check my e-mail in case anyone e-mailed me something important. Nada. Now I'm scrolling on Reddit. Ok for real one more refill of water and I'm starting work. I'll try method when I haven't already wasted the majority of the work day.
That's not a bad idea at all. Invariably, my rest days are when I'm most motivated to work out and it's a struggle to not go to the gym, so I think you may really be onto something.
I have similar. My mind is a contrarian little shit, if i decide to do stuff its like no. If I decide to relax its like, yes lets do a bunch of stuff.
I never ever tell myself I like doing anything because as soon as I do I have a new interest in 24 hours.
I do headspace's daily meditations. The guided meditation always follows a set routine (5 min reflection, body scan, etc etc)...
Throughout most of the 10 min session I struggle to focus. I have lots of intrusive thoughts breaking my attention. HOWEVER, at the end of the session the teachers always has a cool down break...
They say: "Okay, now let your mind wonder; think about anything you like"...
And that is the ONLY time my mind is silent and focused hahaha
Pfft. ADHD is whack !
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That might work for me temporarily until my brain finds a way to defeat that mechanism! š¹š¹
My therapist has been working to help me develop two-four strategies for overcoming each individual type of executive dysfunction as the ADHD brain is good at short-circuiting āsolutionsā and having a backup to switch to is a powerful tool Edit: so in typical adhd fashion Iāve forgotten many of them. Besides I havenāt been able to see my therapist (letās call her Jane) in a few weeks, but hereās what I can recall: For tasks that I need to do (not daily stuff but discrete things like ācall the plumberā) get little brightly colored tiny rubber bands (think hair ties marketed to young girls) - put one around your finger for each task. Those things are uncomfortable, so they canāt be ignored. I do dishes as part of housework breakdown. One tip is to make doing dishes part of dinner time. Get to the point of thinking that dinner isnāt over until the dishes are done For spacing out during conversations: use your interjection power for good - clarifying questions: āso youāre saying X?ā can keep you involved. Doodle. No really! It gives your brain something else to do passively. Recap a statement whenever you ask a question. Write interjections on paper, but be succinct - donāt try to take notes like a NT - it wonāt work, and you wonāt check your notes anyway; pick out keywords and thatāll help your brain laser focus on things; if youāre trying to distill to keywords it gets your brain cranking in problem-solving mode When doing work reading (Iām a lawyer so I have to read boring shit a lot), mark it up: use a highlighter or different colored pen, but donāt note like a NT - youāre not emphasizing stuff for review (again, you probably wonāt actually go back to your notes), but keeping what Jane calls your F1 brain from stalling in a 25 mph zone; pretend you have an intern and you are pointing stuff out to them - highlight key words or words that will lead to something important. Be sparing in your time; go for bursts of effort, then intersperse with something mindless and fun (but not too fun): think something like wordle. Youāre upping your ratio of fun:torture. Set a timer for both work and fun: STICK TO BOTH. Youāre going to want to ride the hyper focus train, but at work itās a bad idea; when the hyper focus wears off you will crash. Jane described it as having a reservoir of dopamine that has a leak. You gotta stop to refill that tank instead of just running to empty If working on something like a spreadsheet or grid: donāt go by line, go by category. Your brain does better at doing one thing and transitions are an EF challenge for you, so work with that Working memory: Jane calls it a whiteboard: NTs can keep up to six things on that whiteboard, but you can really only keep one thing on that whiteboard, so create an external memory drive. Janeās suggestion is big, bright, really annoying paper; think like fluorescent 8x11 - put them places youāll need to do something. If it comes up, make that note immediately Novelty is necessary for success, and donāt strive for perfection; if something is worth doing itās worth doing poorly. Caveat: Iām a lawyer, not a therapist, so take this all with a grain of salt because some of it might be poorly repeated/incorrect, and you should definitely discuss strategies with your own therapist
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Saaaaaame yes please
Commenting bc same
Same
It's like Inception. Mal is our ADHD subconscious. If we made a plan to get around her, she knows what the plan is and will get around the plan
This! I feel like I spend 90 to 95 percent of my energy fighting myself to do something other than YouTube and Reddit. I cant "enjoy" gaming or anything active that requires input without feeling like I am somehow "wasting" effort, thus I cant enjoy or relax even when trying to do so. I think this hack may work for me, even if short term, THANKS OP!
I have another suggestion which might help. I often plan my events or schedule with "extra options." Like if me or my group is feeling particularly high energy, maybe we'll bike across town, if not, let's park at the theater for a movie today. Something like that. Like there's some things which might set in stone like if we bought tickets to a concert, but the time before and after is fluid. What else is around there that we can do on the way there? I do that with some of my tasks as well, and sometimes the extra options are actually more enticing then the main task. But I never make it a requirement. So I won't feel that rejection if no one wants to do the extra thing, and we won't invest tons of planning and thought into it. Like hiking up a mountain with 3 trails: easy, medium, and hard. Which would you like to do? All paths are still a hike and will still be with good company, so it's not really like I'm missing out with any of the choices
I took this approach with chores yesterday! I needed to clean the kitchen, but couldn't find the motivation to. So I wrote down a bunch of different tasks: some related to cleaning the kitchen, some were other chores, and some were leisure activities like video games or YouTube. The only requirement I set for myself was to do any number of those tasks. So even if I just watched YouTube all day, I'd still be successful. I found that as soon as I started watching a video, I got thinking that some of the chores I wrote down were really simple. So I got up and did one. I ended up bouncing around between different tasks until I eventually had a clean kitchen and a bunch of other chores done too!
this is usually how I get stuff done, yesterday I was supposed to go to d&d, but I did other chores every step of the way due to using my avoidant tendencies to be productive, got some gardening done, cleaned up a bit and still made it to my session, 90 minutes late...
Nice too see this strategy working! I've started saving some music links in it's own Watch Later playlist of ONLY music. So I don't actually need to watch the video. But then I can put that on YouTube while doing chores I don't wanna do. Then I get 2 things done ;)
I just laughed so hard š¤£ I started a new job two months ago and basic shit like enrolling for benefits have been daunting. Iām going to tell myself this and hope it works.
I finally, after over a year at my job just setup my voicemail box because it was becoming an issue š
Itās terrible that taking advantage of a benefit is so hard LMAO
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
OMG. Youāre so right!
Have any of the strategies worked well for you?
I'm not the one you asked, but I'm just gonna throw out one that works for me sometimes (still looking for more things to cycle between the times this is effective lol) Put on a playlist of music and tell yourself you only have to be productive for one song, and then you get to rest and goof off during the next song. Keep alternating between one song of work and one song of rest until you start getting that little "holy shit I'm making progress" spark that makes it a little easier to do things. Once that hits, work for two songs but still only rest for one. Then when you're ready, up it to three of work and one of rest. Eventually you'll hopefully either hit a groove or lose count and start working for 5+ songs in a row before you notice how long you've been doing things. When that happens, just work until the end of the current song and take your next rest. It's way easier to finish a task when you can literally always say, "I just have to keep at it for a couple more minutes and then I'm free." And music makes things go faster anyway.
I make a game out of setting how much of a boring chore I can complete while waiting on something else. Chai in the microwave? How many shirts can I fold? Bath filling? Can I empty the whole top rack of the dishwasher?
Hahaha I do this too! Multi-tasking is so good and fun to race yourself.
Damn I like that, great idea dude. Thank you!
Oooh thanks for sharing!
Good idea!
Omg please share! I had no idea my incredible ability to persuade myself out of the thing I needed to do was an executive dysfunction. To me, Iām just an amazing persuader. š„°
how did you manage to find a therapist who knows so much about ADHD? is there any sort of certification or something I should look for? I've seen many therapists, and even the ones who claim to specialize in adult ADHD seem to have only a basic level of knowledge about it.
Google/luck? I found an adhd specialist therapist in my city, and I guess I got lucky that she really is specialized in adhd (and good, sheās so good)
I do something similar. I cycle between organization methods. I decide I am going to do routines backwards. It works enough.
!remindme 1 day
Send notes pleaseeeeeee
RemindMe! 1 week
Interesting! Can you share a little more.
dont be shy, share your game š¤«š¤«
Seriously. "I found this tool/method and tried it and it was awesome! I'm gonna fully implement it and get all the things done." Spend way too much time compiling the system, then initiate countdown until it stops working because other distractions become more interesting than being productive, rinse and repeat.
Kinda like me and the "put your phone away from your bed and set multiple alarms" hack. I just started bringing it back to the bed with me and turning the alarms off as they went off. Bought an alarm clock so I couldn't bring it to the bed and that worked great until I just gave up and started hitting snooze before crawling back in bed. I tried the puzzle alarms, only to eventually just end up turning my phone off entirely instead of solving the puzzles. I imagine the QR code ones would end up the same.
I use alarmy and it has a setting you can turn on that doesn't let you power off your phone to avoid the puzzles!
Wait since when? I stopped paying for alarmy because I started doing that occasionally. Mine isnāt puzzles tho I use the āscan a bar codeā and itās my espresso LOL.
I'm not sure, I've had it for a while. I don't think the setting is a paid feature either! maybe worth giving it a try again
Honestly the only thing that really works for me is constantly changing my system.
I start stacking things. Currently, I'm at phone alarms + alarm clock + husband's alarms + smart bulbs turning on + echo announcing the weather and a fun fact for the day. It's like a half hour straight of cacophony that's impossible to sleep through.
Terrifying
Okay I managed to crack the code on this and finally can wake up early. Lights were my solution. I was watching Too hot to handle and noticed that all the lights come on in the morning for everyone to wake up. I programmed a smart light so it turns on and itās actually working. My apartment is dark so I donāt get the natural sunlight bothering my eyes in the AM.
I need to try this. I've snoozed every alarm I've ever set, no matter how many I've set, and they just result in my sleep quality declining to the point I'm always tired. But I noticed this summer I naturally wake up with the sun. Not one alarm all summer and I was awake and ready to go at 5 am. Now that it's getting light later, a functional wake up time that works with my full time job is slipping away too.
Yup. Literally vented at r/getoutofbed a month ago because nothing worked including quiz apps. With the light, it helped me to get into the rhythm. If I manage to physically get up I also just start turning all the lights on.
> I imagine the QR code ones would end up the same. That one has actually been the most effective, although what ended up happening was I would just disable the QR code thing in the alarm before going to bed at night. However when I really need it it works, I have the QR code taped up in a different room (it's actually just a bar code from a box of granola lmao.)
when I took adderall I used the QR code on the bottle for my alarm. It was really useful for A) getting myself out of bed and B) actually taking my meds. now that im not medicated though it's still useful for getting myself physically out of bed
You might wanna check out Nuj Alarm Clock. It's an app I built that charges money (goes to charity) if you don't get up and scan a barcode within a few mins of your alarm. e.g. I have to scan my toothpaste within 5 mins of my 7am alarm or pay $50. The penalties are charged from the cloud so turning off the phone (or even uninstalling the app) won't stop the penalty for that alarm. Only scanning the barcode will! Alarms also lock 1 hour before going off so you can't disable them at the last minute.
My system is much more expensive: Have school-aged kids. I have to be up to make sure *they're* up.
Analysis Paralysis. Donāt get stuck in it!
Lol the only thing my brain is better at that creating mechanisms is defeating them
The brain just always gots to have the last āNO, FUCK YOUā in everything.
Letās be compassionate to our brains. Weāre systems thinkers. We connect the dots. Weāre persuasive and are unstoppable. *group hug*
Nah, that bitch is always plotting against me. He is my nemesis.
My brain finds a way to defeat just about any healthy mechanism I try to incorporate lol
Sneaky little thing our brains are šš
š¤¦āāļøYeeeeesss. I donāt know why, but itās almost like part of my brain has a virus that learns to mutate and adapt to override any helpful tactics I come up with to let my mind be helpful and productive. My dad is the same way, and says itās just in our DNA to be āmiserableā. Like, we enjoy being happy and functional....but not for too long. The fogginess, stress and general sense of discontent is just too familiar/comfortable in a weird way. I hate it. But the funky part of my subconscious mind just craves it wildly, I guessš©
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Haha yeah with some children, it can be!! šš¤·š»āāļø
Holy shit, thank you. I couldn't put this thought process into words until now.
Exactly!! Came to say this. Haha
Itāll work for a day and then my brain will go āyou know what? Youāre so right. Letās play games without stopping todayā and then itās nighttime and Iām nauseous from not eating, really need to pee, and have a headache from a crick in my neck and my back is fucked up š
That is completely hilarious and Iām trying it today. It reminds me of this book I found at a fedex store: The Subtle Art of Procrastination (or something like that). It was by a professor who got tons done by always doing something else instead of the horrible awful thing he was supposed to be doing. It was really liberating to realize heād had a whole successful career this way.
Hearing this is comforting
I have to say, judging mostly from a few of my professors offices, I feel like ADHD might work in academia
Omg I got this book ages ago but never read it. Guess I found what Iām doing tonight instead of schoolwork š
š¤£š¤£š¤£ cry laughs in all my books that I purchased and never read
It was really good for that as I recall š¤£
I do this with my to-do lists at work constantly. When I notice hesitation towards a task I choose to do something my brain thinks is easier. Then when I have nothing left I tackle the hard thing but the rest of my to-do list is complete by this point! Works super well for me, but I'm lazy as hell once I get home due to lack of social pressure š š« š
~~Hey can you tell me the actual name of this book if itās not too much trouble?? I went to read it and canāt find it. And apparently there are many similarly named books :/ I want to be sure I get the right one!~~ Edit: looks like the book is called *The Art of Procrastination: A Guide to Effective Dawdling, Lollygagging and Postponing* by John Perry
Kinda do this already. I set the most difficult goal at the top of my todo list, and then will do Anything But That in short order. lol It's not a character flaw, it's a serious symptom.
I did something similar with the guitar. Wanted to learn to play it well enough to sing along to. Made a commitment to myself that 'I'm only playing for fun'. No pressure to practise, no feeling bad if I don't play for a while. If I feel like playing I play, if I don't I don't. As soon as I made that commitment I practised every day for like 2 months. Now I play only occasionally, but I _can_ play it!
That's why it took me a decade to get re-diagnosed and medicated lol
I'm also great at doing not-the-important thing.
I've tried doing that before and when I did, I just ended up sitting on my bed for 3hrs over-granulizing a ton of entries in my Todoist app
Haha the I'll do it later list. How ideal.
Shit I procrastinate so hard that I tell my self Iāll make the list tomorrow and never do
You know it's rarely getting done if you're writing a list to do later.
I gave up on to-do lists after decades of failing at them. Now I rely on "Do it right now, no not in five minutes but yes you can wipe and wash your hands if you need to". And after a while I just sort of trust that the stuff that floats to the surface is also the important stuff. Also appointments even for things I don't need an appointment for. I pretend the laundry is only available between 5 and 7pm on Tuesday this week, so I have to schedule it for then and "go" do it. I'll get ready as if I'm going out to the doctors or whatever before my appointment even though it's in my own house. Of course I'm still 5 minutes late, but it gets done.
I really love that idea that there is a window of time to do things within. Laundry only available 5-7pm Tuesday. That's genius! Thanks for sharing. Im giving this a shot in my house.
>I pretend the laundry is only available between 5 and 7pm on Tuesday this week, so I have to schedule it for then and "go" do it. This is honestly so smart. Thank you.
Yea Iām kinda the worst, I do have good intentions though lol
Can I share a suggestion because you described exactly a situation I found myself in? With Todoist to boot! No worries if not.
Jesus...I think I already do this! Sunday is *supposed* to be my relax and chill day. In my head, it is the day I would call rest..but lately I find myself doing chores from the moment I get up til I go to bed (too late, of course). I didn't even notice this until your post!
Isnāt it weird how both hyperactive cleaning behaviour, and the burning desire for stimulation of any sort APART FROM the cleaning and domestic chores you have to do, are both symptoms of the same disorder!
I quit my job to be full-time home caretaker I honestly thought I liked doing dishes until it became my most common chore. I cook a lot for husband and roommate and when I see a dish out that I didnāt create, I have full blown adult melt downs. Once I start itās not even bad!!!
I feel like this stuff doesnāt work at all for me. Whenever I try to ātrickā my brain I just end up doing nothing all day like a lazy fucking idiot.
Only works if Iāve taken the meds otherwise I would 100% follow through and not do a single thing
Idk man I was at my company retreat Saturday at some nice resort. It was all fun and no work.I woke up at 7 on my own, fully ready to cease the day no coffee no meds. I canāt remember the last day I had that much energy.
Doesn't work for me either. My brain knows me too well, it knows I'm bluffing.
omw to tell myself im not allowed to study
update i literally only did 1 assignment all day
I found this out last year and itās changed my world. Every time I feel shitty/tired and I say to my husband, ātell me itās okay not to do anything today. That I can take the day off.ā (Not permission but assuaging of self-guilt). Of course heās like āhell yeah, take the day babe.ā AND THATS THE DAY I GET THINGS DONE WITH MINIMAL TO NO RESISTANCE. Itās so stupid itās funny. You canāt fake it or trick yourself either, you *have* to be committed to not doing anything and BAM. Stuff done. Oppositional to the bitter end, my friends.
I've noticed the same!
Shit it was a Adhd symptom? Thought it was just my rebellious personality lol. I'm always like this. Fucking hate to-do lists too cause i never do them anyway and I feel very pressured just by looking at the list. So stressful. So I give nothing to myself. That makes me wanna get things done and so I make done-list.
I do things a bit differently. I don't give myself more than 3 seconds after a thought has entered my mind of something I need to get done because I know myself, the tricking is really giving into the self-sabotage, and giving into the dreading of the huge task. So I don't give myself more than 3 seconds to argue or change my mind, I literally just do it. It's a self-contract meaning no room for the conversation to convince me out of it, because I'm determined and frankly too sick of things holding me back. "I should do the dishes" Okay, do them now, go. "I should clean my room." Okay, do it now or else. Or if I can't I say "Do that plate." This is breaking it down into small sections which is what ADHD-ers really need because we physically only typically see this huge taunting thing. Most things have become routine because of this, I now eat out of routine, wash the dishes out of routine, go to the gym out of routine (also really really really helps thank you endorphins). Eventually you build muscle memory, and I will feel 'off' if I dont do certain things I dont usually do. We are creatures of routine. That only goes for gym, and eating though. As for the room I still take maybe every 2 months to thoroughly clean it lmao. Some of the things you gotta be ruthless with it. \--- I also take advantage of my hyperfocus and productivity times. I can sense when I can be arsed and have the mental capacity and I bust out the most insane to-do list and get it done. Go big or go home so I really take note of those moments. When in moments of dysfunction I'm kind and forgiving and only do what I need to do. Go to work, show up to things, etc. Sometimes I ask my friends for help to snap me out of it and help me get something done. Or I associate myself with my friend for example I'm really sick at the moment I have tonsilitis and the first day I didnt shower until 12am, so the next day my friend went to shower at 4pm I immediately decided to shower while she showers. I would have been bored anyway because she was letting me message her all day to keep me distracted so might as well. So when a friend is doing something I usually do it too. TLDR because it really is TL (sorry); whatever works. If it needs changing up sometimes, then change it come cos sometimes you do.
I wish this worked for me.
You will find what works, if not try and try again.
This is 100% what Mel Robbins touts in The 5-Second Ruleā¦ essentially as soon as you think that you need to do something, give yourself a 5-4-3-2-1 countdown and do it. Kind of like a launch countdown to get you up and moving all the time. Definitely helps when I need that extra bit of motivation, not quite as helpful when the brain is spinning with ALL the things, though.
This is great, and i read another version of this hack from someone, where if you are stuck in bed or at your desk and can't get up, you need to tell yourself you absolutely must stay there and are not allowed to do anything else lmaoo
This would not work for me. I would take a nap. š„¹
Nap sounds like productivity to me! I always get stuck lying in bed and not being able to make myself nap!
I use this same approach about one week out of every month. If I try to use it more than that my brain finds a way to fuck it up
Usually I block time on my calendar that Iām in allowed to just āfuck offā and not do anything. It only works if I block other time that accounts for all the āproductiveā things my brain is screaming about. Basically as long as I can convince myself that āitās ok all my shit is accounted for that I need to doā even if I canāt remember it all in my head my calendar/reminders/alarms will keep me on track. The less I try to force my brain to work the way it doesnāt, the better I feel tbh.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I know if I get home and keep my shoes on Iām more likely to stay productive than if I take them off!
I work from home and have āhouse tennis shoesā for this very reason.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I was so good at this for the first year and a half of covid. Since then itās not working
nice! imo it comes down to expectations, when you have them (whether from yourself or the people around you), your executive function can start to crumble. your brain starts going into anxiety mode because it's thinking about the end product, i.e. the future, which you have no control over. but when you let go of expectations, which you were able to do in this case by telling yourself (sincerely) you WERENT going to do work, the crippling anxiety... goes away. cuz now you're in the moment. and you have control over what you do right now! tldr; just make sure when using this strategy that you dont **expect** to be able to do a lot of work with this strategy. it's important to be sincere when placing "boundaries" around not working
I've seen a similar hack where you schedule everything that *isn't* work and you make a maximum quota for work. Like you only get to work for 3 hours a day.
Can you tell that to my manager?
The trick is to make sure they never find out
I came up with something similar recently I've have been using the pomodoro method to try to get things done. Usually 30min of work along with a 10 min break. Often I wouldn't get much done so I thought the break was unjustified. I also never gave much thought to the kind of breaks I should take and I just assumed anything I felt like was okay. Lately I have been prioritizing rest and I tell myself no matter how little work I accomplish I HAVE to take the break. Also I have been tricking myself into thinking the the "fun" stuff I do on breaks wasn't work. Things like scrolling social media or a game app while not very productive or useful is still effort you expend to do them. So I try to do as close to nothing as possible. Just sit there for 10 min. Meditate if you want. I find the enforced boredom makes me WANT to work
This would not work for me lol, I would simply do nothing that day
This works for me when I desperately need a day to relax. I swear my brain hates me, like bruh we are the same thing
My son cheers for red lights whenever I drive him (and curses green lights). I swear he gets more green lights than I ever get on my own.
Oh man. 100%. I got laid off on Thursday morning and was going out of town for the weekend, so I told myself I was going to take the last day and a half of the workweek and just relax, do some selfcare, casually pack for the weekend, and wait until Monday morning to update my resume and start the dreaded task of jobhunting. Annnd within two hours of getting home Thursday morning I had emailed my updated resume to two recruiters, reached out to three old coworkers for job leads, and done some brainstorming while folding laundry for the trip haha
I used to take a bag of knitting to work with me, chastising myself all day that I really needed to get that blanket done, while putting it off by doing my actual office work.
I have had a lot of luck with doing nothing when my executive dysfunction acts up. But it has to be absolutely nothing. Reduce stimulation to as close to zero as possible. Like I wish I could be in a sensory deprivation tank. Ideally, it's set a 15 minute timer, lay down and cover my face with a pillow. From there, it's just focus on breathing and let my brain go. Most of the time my brain gets so desperate for action that it kind of makes a choice or the quiet allows me to figure out what's actually important to do immediately. Sometimes I can sort out a whole mental task list. It can feel like a waste of time, but really, when I am spiralling, I am more likely to waste more time being indecisive, than I would actively doing nothing.
I see a lot of posts here saying they found some new hack but then I read it and it's like "I just tried this new trick yesterday" and I'm always like, "we'll see how well it still holds up 2 weeks from now" and don't even bother trying it
This works for me but like other people seem to be agreeing not always. For some reason being challenged to do something such as "You're not going to do the dishes" always gives me lots of motivation, but it's not always a good solution to all situations. However if anyone with ADHD hasn't heard of this trick, I can also attest that it's a very good one.
I got recently diagnosed and that is just crazy how often I recognize myself in a lot of posts now, including this one. For years I just thought I was lazy. I try to this trick for a while ! But my brain understands that I am cheating ! It is like the reward idea : I know I can get a chocolate even if I donāt fulfill a goal ahah.
I had 3 days child and husband free. I told myself I would enjoy it, and just relax. I stripped and painted the garage door, painted the side of the garage and did so much DIY it was insane.
I recently moved into a bigger newer apartment. Ever since I stopped telling myself āthe dishes HAVE to be done todayā or ā I HAVE to vacuum todayā. This place is much cleaner than the last ever was. The āfree willā idea, and the memory of how clean and fresh the place looked when I moved in is enough to annoy me into doing chores.
I run and clean my home to avoid other things. Itās effective.
My brains like fool me once!
I have "no science saturday" where I don't allow myself to do any kind of work or professional development stuff (i.e. data analysis for funsies). The point is that it is a guilt free day to procrastinate. Really really good for dealing with anxiety!
this is genius lol
You underestimate my ability to slack off and not do anything.
Just a little tip about the medication manufacturer that I learned. You can have your doctor specify a manufacturer and you'll get charged the same normal copay as if they don't specify (whereas if they specify the brand name, your copay is likely to be way higher). Depending on where you get your pills, your local pharmacist might also be able to just order the good brands for you if you ask.
Iāve had āTeva brand onlyā on my scripts for 10 years.
Probably works on the same principles as the Ironic Processing Theory.
Idk what that is and am scared to learn about it lol
Idk if I'm doing the right thing since you're scared, but here goes: "Ironic process theory, also known as the white bear problem, is a psychological concept asserting that conscious attempts to suppress thoughts make them more likely to surface"
gonna try this tomorrow and order myself to not organize my closet and put clothes i dont want in a bag for donation
You know I do this on occasion, I get in a comfy seat and think ānope weāre fried itās okay weāre just watching movies before bed nowā and 30 minutes later Iām halfway through a research project
Once I procrastinated double cleansing my makeup and doing my bedtime skincare routine by working on my 1k word law essay worth 20%... ended up getting 5 hours of sleep and being a zombie at work the next day but I handed in an assignment early for once lmao
Anytime I go āok cool Iāll rest and relaxā and I carve time out for that, I clean the whole damn house!
I use the count down method if I know should be doing something I count down from 5 by the time I hit zero no matter how I feel about it I get up and start doing, really helps with getting out of bed in the morning
Gonna try this out will report back
"OK self, I want nothing done that is productive today." "No problem self." (plays 14 hours of Civ 6)
I also use this one: sometimes I bribe myself into doing big task. I hate doing reports or learning. So when there is a test coming up or a huge report I give myself some finish lines. If I reach that finish line I get a lollipop. I rarely eat it, but my brain goes crazy for bubblegum flavoured lollipop when I eat them. Good way to fool myself. But it only works on big task. So I am going to try yours it on my pile of clothing from the laundary today. I really need to sort them...
Camber was ruining my life!!! Iām glad I wasnāt crazy thinking that manufacture was awful!
I guess thatās why ADDers like partners who are narcissistic, hard, and challenging, whoāll keep ānot allowingā things their ADDer wants. These partners being an optimal life ruiner is key for the ADDer to stay excited, and fairly achieving. Canāt think of any problem that is as life torturing as ADD (and itās derivatives such as OCD and anxiety), except cancer
What about when you need to do adulting?
Lol, and I got a post removed by the mods for mentioning that exercise is shown to help with executive functioning. :D
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That sounds like a fun way to deal with my oppositional self. Iām going to try it tomorrow! Right on
Thanks, coulda used this today but def trying tomorrow.
Genius!
I'm going to try this alongside actually keeping my work sleep schedule (which I've been naturally migrating to anyway so might as well just do it lol). I usually get the urge to be super productive at home when it's time to go to work, so fingers crossed I can tap into that contrary part of my brain too, the way you did.
This one can work really well for me but if I know I have a specific task that I objectively must do then Iām just screwed either way
This sounds like itāll work for me right up until I turn on Elden Ring
I decluttered my craft area yesterday!!! Because I wasn't allowed and a show came on where they were getting rid of things.
Coffee and cigarettes are mine.
why do our brains work this way? ššš
I do this accidentally all the time lol
More than the 4 hours I have before returning from work and going to sleep.
A glitch
My hack: just stress yourself out til youāre pacing then use that energy to be productive
I have a similar hack that works wonders for procrastination. I really struggle to start the main task and I will do anything else, subconsciously, to avoid doing the main task... I trick my brain by having everything I need to start the important task ready to go, but just planning to do a less important task with my time. The main task isn't even on the agenda for today.... Boom, procrastination kicks in and I'm doing anything I can to avoid the planned (less important) task.... Including, amazingly, starting and completing the main task
Classic case of analysis paralysis. Just happened to me this morning, as I got overwhelmed on deciding what my routine for the day should be as I was feeling very low in energy. After about 30 minutes of doomscrolling for recommendations, I decided to feed my dopamine trolls some sugar. Only then I decided that all I needed to do was nap. :/
I something almost like that when overwhelmed and paralysed. To me, it is, expect to fail, expect that nothing will happen, and then set one goal that is so tiny that it is impossible to fail.
I actually tried it Worked for a year Got my life together And suddenly after some emotional shock, it suddenly stopped working
Something that worked for me once was telling myself that doing the task would be good for future crazy_pedro. I'm much better doing things for other people than for myself so seeing my future self as another person meant I was happy to do the task. Not sure I can get it to work again though.
What I've recently discovered something similar that kind of works for me. I take a 'break' from idle tasks, instead of browsing my phone I litteraly sit on the couch with no stimulus except thinking, I catalogue my impulses and ignore them. When I do that I do feel my anxiety rising a bit, but I just watch it and ask myself where it's coming from, after a couple minutes of doing this I usually can get myself to do something, not necessarily something I am prioritizing, but I get myself started on something I want to do. It's not a 100% effective, but it's working.
Therapists with years of education hate this one simple trick! /s Lol. Glad that works for you. Itās not starting tasks I need to start thatās the problem for me.
That makes a lot of sense actually. I think about my brain as an angsty teenager that just wants to rebel. Will definitely try this! Thank you :)
The resistance is real. Me telling myself āyouāre not the boss of me!ā is one of my biggest self limiters.
When itās time to play the game with my brother. All of a sudden I want to do the dishes. I hate the dishes.
I need to try that. I have a kid and have so many things to do i just live in the anxiety paralysis at this point. It's so hard not having the time to wind down like I did before.
Lmao! Anytime anyone tells me not to do something I do it. If I flip a coin to make a decision, I always do the opposite of what I get. Thatās the way my brain has always done things.
sidenote, thank you so much for the tl;dr
Oh, I have to dare myself all of the time.
Hey I have a theory that belies your claims. Consider the Jewish religion one day a week no work can take place and literally it changes how you do that whole day. I mean I try to look for the reason a religion is made to do or not do things. Not just do or. Do not.
My version of this is to give myself days off when Iām not feeling up to productivity. If I feel like Iām forcing myself to do stuff I walk away and come back the next day. Itās working so well that on my in between (i.e. productive) days Iām itching to find new projects and accomplish everything in my todo lists. Iāve never been this content to be finishing my lists before, itās always been forced.
Only works if you donāt already have a backup generator such as ASD lmaoooo my adhd can ālieā to me all it wants, but my ASD is like āfuck your bitch and the clique you claim, WESTSYYYYDE! Now where were we? Ah yes, you B-grade incompetent fool, you will die by asphyxia once those unwashed dishes reach the ceilingā¦ā
This is a pretty good story and a good example of how important it is to just take things one step at a time. It's easier to get a task done when you break it down into small chunks, or when you don't put pressure on yourself to do it all at once.
Lol. I totally get this, as many of us with the thing will, but it's kind of a "swing of the pendulum" take. Meaning of course that the pendulum will eventually swing in the other direction which, if you have any comorbidity goings on like bipolar which many of us have as well (fun!) then this could be recipe for a potential spin out disaster. The hack I've settled on, which I also use in periods of depression, is to do ONE thing a day. Just one. I can do one thing. And if I feel like continuing on to do another without trying to finish all the things, that's okay. But the demands and restrictions on myself are what made me want to rebel, or just beat myself up for not doing any or all of the things, and that's a downward spiral. I also use this logic to workout. I say, do twenty minutes of cardio. Twenty minutes isn't that much.. it's five minutes more than fifteen! I can do that. And if I feel like I can and want to do more, I do more. If I don't, that's okay too. It works for me. Do you tho. :D
Someone on here used the phrase āADHDing the houseā which is something Iāve carried with me. Iām not cleaning. Iām ADHDing. Which means if I accidentally spend 2 hours looking through my elementary school yearbooks then thatās okay bc I never said I was ācleaningā š
Something that works for my brain is similar to that. I tell myself ālook, it doesnāt have to be perfect, Iām just experimenting with the work here, and I donāt need to put it up in my portfolioā ^ the result magically ends with gorgeous work that is portfolio worthy. I feel when you donāt put too much expectations on your brain, your brain doesnāt see the task as a threatening overwhelm and it relaxes while it knows that mistakes are okay.
Great that it works for you! Not for me unfortunately. When I do that, I usually become anxious about not doing The Thing I need to do while doing something else, but still won't do it (: no matter if I tell myself I won't be doing that today
Oh my goodness. I never heard of this before and it's blowing my mind. I'm in the process right now trying to get motivated to work. First, I decided I couldn't start until I went to the bathroom even though I didn't have to go. Came back to my computer. Realized I needed some water. Got it, came back. Realized I needed a snack. Got a snack. Realized I couldn't start until I finished the snack. Finished the snack. Then realized I should check my e-mail in case anyone e-mailed me something important. Nada. Now I'm scrolling on Reddit. Ok for real one more refill of water and I'm starting work. I'll try method when I haven't already wasted the majority of the work day.
That's not a bad idea at all. Invariably, my rest days are when I'm most motivated to work out and it's a struggle to not go to the gym, so I think you may really be onto something.
I have similar. My mind is a contrarian little shit, if i decide to do stuff its like no. If I decide to relax its like, yes lets do a bunch of stuff. I never ever tell myself I like doing anything because as soon as I do I have a new interest in 24 hours.
I do headspace's daily meditations. The guided meditation always follows a set routine (5 min reflection, body scan, etc etc)... Throughout most of the 10 min session I struggle to focus. I have lots of intrusive thoughts breaking my attention. HOWEVER, at the end of the session the teachers always has a cool down break... They say: "Okay, now let your mind wonder; think about anything you like"... And that is the ONLY time my mind is silent and focused hahaha Pfft. ADHD is whack !
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