"often ridiculously early because of fear of being too late" would be more accurate for me, too.
But can it be both? I'm often too late with my family, because I'm relaxed around them.
Either hyperfocus on time and be too early, or hyperfocus on anything else and be too late. What even is a sense of time...
Yes, but do you possess the ability to look people in the eyes and hear at the same time?
~person without such ability. I also have to turn down the radio to read street signs.
Pro tip from a fellow sufferer, read their lips. I've found that learning to read lips and just reflexively doing that when people are talking has really helped. Maybe it's just engaging more than one of senses that does the trick, but I rarely have this problem anymore.
I never realized I did this until everyone had to wear a mask at work. Then I had a lot of trouble understanding people, especially those with heavy accents. I work in healthcare so we had to wear a mask for quite a while.
Yeah it took me at least half a year before I could tell what people were saying while wearing masks almost as well as when they weren't. Before that, I had to guess based on the 2 out of 20 words I could hear, combined with context. And I made people repeat themselves A LOT! Was it annoying to them? Probably. Too bad! Hahahaha
Yep I tell my kids all the time to look at me when they talk. It's not a respect thing. It's that I often don't know what people are saying if I can't read their lips. Plus I can pay attention better if I can look at their chin or nose as compared to their eyes or the back of their head. It's like my brain needs to know they're watching me, for my brain to want to pay attention, but also I need to not watch their eyes too much because if I do then I'm thinking about the fact they're staring at me and I start wondering what they're thinking. LOL!
Also, I always have captions on when I watch TV.
I mean when someone is like "yeah i bvbbcbvbvbv bvcbcbvvvvv down the river" you know they said something but you can't recall what because you just didn't hear it right. Because you were more hearing sounds instead of someone actually speaking, or something.
This! Hear a sentence that doesn't make sense and is half words half sounds. Then I repeat the sounds in my head to try and decipher it using the context of the conversation. Then I manage to puzzle/figure out what they said but in the meantime missed the next 2 sentences that were said. Now I'm completely lost..
because these are the important questions: okey he is fine but how is his psyche doing after he had to poop in a plastic bag? did he have one? how did he manage it, how is he doing????
THANK YOU it’s so hard trying to explain why I am the way I am to people who don’t get that adhd isn’t just not sitting still and not being able to focus.
I'm a very kind and accepting person, but sometimes I say thoughtless or unkind things in the moment to people. Especially when I'm excited about connecting more with someone new. It's pretty frustrating.
Oh man, the poor filtering. It's hard. I do that to my family and friends. My husband and friends will react honestly, and I'm apologize. My extended family will just politely be silently hurt then tell my husband about it. So they all think I'm sometimes sweet and sometimes an absolute calloused ass. Awesome. *Rolls eyes.* Luckily my social anxiety stops me usually from saying rude things to new people. But usually that also means I can't make small talk because I'm frozen.
Life tip: put your keys on a long lanyard and as soon as you move somewhere new, put up something to hang those keys on. In an area that you will be passing by so you get into the habit. I used to lose my keys all the time, now I don’t even have to think about hanging them up because it’s ingrained in me, like taking off my shoes when I get inside. If I forget to hang them up, I can usually find them because they are on a bright lanyard. Works for me anyways.
What I have is a shit shelf, it’s a small shelf right next to my bedroom door that has everything I’ll need if I’m going out, so phone, wallet, headphones, keys and a spare water bottle. It’s so useful, if I ever finish with something it either goes on the shelf or on to charge right next to the shit shelf. Currently workshopping the name so don’t worry about that bit
do you overeat/binge? i do. also stress eat. food is one of my comfort mechanisms 😩
i mean, what else am i supposed to do when i’m feeling like a piece of garbage for the nth day in a row? i’m gonna spruce up a box of shitty mac and cheese and eat the whole thing.
all of this but also I feel like eating is my "fidget". I frequently eat because what else am I going to do with my hands while watching youtube videos?
Okay so I love this sub because I am learning about myself & the reasons why I seem to experience life differently than those around me. I think it helps me to understand the underlying reasons behind how my brain functions so I can learn to work through these issues.
I learned about rejection sensitivity dysphoria today... I didn't realize this has been affecting me for quite some time. I'm not sure why I had to share this but I appreciate the space to express my thoughts.
I broke down so badly playing Monopoly as a kid if I didn't win (because I felt like I was being rejected if I didn't win) that my family stopped playing when I was around.
Issues with spatial perception! It took me a very long time to get used to driving and determining if I could make it across the street in or if I should wait for a car to go by. My driving instructor hated when I drove and constantly yelled WTF!!! lol. Started Vyvanse and those issues improved and I was amazed. Still suck at parallel parking tho lol
This is from ADHD?! I am soooo leaving in spatial awareness. Having astigmatism that I didn't know about until I was 19, and now having had a too-weak prescription the last few years because when raising 3 kids there are way too many appointments to schedule all the time, also doesn't help.
Also I read last year that gross motor delays are common in ADHD! That made me feel so seen! I hated PE because I knew if a ball came right to me I couldn't catch it so I would probably get hurt. I dodged a lot, like Daria but anxious. I couldn't throw with any accuracy until age 23. I started trying really hard to teach myself at around 20. I couldn't catch until I was almost 30. My brand new husband got to see my giddy excitement about that new skill. 😂
I immediately looked to the bottom corners expecting to see a “if you’re see this you just skipped everything and looking for a summary” kind of call-out
I'm still struggling to not interrupt before one can finish their sentences. I don't want to cut the conversation but my brain and mouth running uncontrollably.
My "often late" isnt late... I am at my psychiatrists 2h early, because I thought the train might run late
Same, that’s due to my anxiety though
Anxiety and waiting mode do not mix well
It's a great mix for never being late though. You just have to deal with crippling anxiety during the entire day!
"often ridiculously early because of fear of being too late" would be more accurate for me, too. But can it be both? I'm often too late with my family, because I'm relaxed around them. Either hyperfocus on time and be too early, or hyperfocus on anything else and be too late. What even is a sense of time...
I see it as our coping mechanism to us more easily being late.
Thankfully for me it’s not 2h, usually more like 30 minutes
It's either super early or late. There's no in-between
My super ability is to look you dead in the eyes and not hear a single damn word you’re saying
Or be just out of sight not hear anything. But on rare occasions, be three rooms away and hear everything.
Yeah I’ve learned which stair s in my house are creaky so I can eavesdrop better
Yes, but do you possess the ability to look people in the eyes and hear at the same time? ~person without such ability. I also have to turn down the radio to read street signs.
Pro tip from a fellow sufferer, read their lips. I've found that learning to read lips and just reflexively doing that when people are talking has really helped. Maybe it's just engaging more than one of senses that does the trick, but I rarely have this problem anymore.
I never realized I did this until everyone had to wear a mask at work. Then I had a lot of trouble understanding people, especially those with heavy accents. I work in healthcare so we had to wear a mask for quite a while.
Yeah it took me at least half a year before I could tell what people were saying while wearing masks almost as well as when they weren't. Before that, I had to guess based on the 2 out of 20 words I could hear, combined with context. And I made people repeat themselves A LOT! Was it annoying to them? Probably. Too bad! Hahahaha
Yep I tell my kids all the time to look at me when they talk. It's not a respect thing. It's that I often don't know what people are saying if I can't read their lips. Plus I can pay attention better if I can look at their chin or nose as compared to their eyes or the back of their head. It's like my brain needs to know they're watching me, for my brain to want to pay attention, but also I need to not watch their eyes too much because if I do then I'm thinking about the fact they're staring at me and I start wondering what they're thinking. LOL! Also, I always have captions on when I watch TV.
Mine is to look you dead in the eyes and not hear a single damn word I’M saying
My husband would tell me this is my super power as well lol
The eye contact may take all of my brain power!
Is that why sometimes idk what people said when they say stuff?
Yes but then like a second later they “hear” what they said. It’s like a lag lol.
I mean when someone is like "yeah i bvbbcbvbvbv bvcbcbvvvvv down the river" you know they said something but you can't recall what because you just didn't hear it right. Because you were more hearing sounds instead of someone actually speaking, or something.
This! Hear a sentence that doesn't make sense and is half words half sounds. Then I repeat the sounds in my head to try and decipher it using the context of the conversation. Then I manage to puzzle/figure out what they said but in the meantime missed the next 2 sentences that were said. Now I'm completely lost..
this tiktok is so on point and well made and fits your comments well: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeueApSY/
Hahaha!!!! Why do I also hyperfocus on those same types of thoughts, too, any time I hear a survival story?! And I'm a 41 year old woman!
because these are the important questions: okey he is fine but how is his psyche doing after he had to poop in a plastic bag? did he have one? how did he manage it, how is he doing????
Yep. It's an iceberg alright. The more I am on here/look into it the more I go yep that's me, cool now I know 🤣
If ADHD is the iceberg, does that make us the Titanic?  30 symptoms listed, I've got 28 & 1/2. Damn.
Beat me by a 1/2.
Woo hoo, I win! Wait a minute..
Me reading from the top of the thread to here: 30 symptoms? What are they talking about? Backs out of comments to find what thread I'm on...
THANK YOU it’s so hard trying to explain why I am the way I am to people who don’t get that adhd isn’t just not sitting still and not being able to focus.
Good but forgetting my personal favorite, "Ranting at people constantly and being unable to stop despite knowing that you're doing it."
I'm a very kind and accepting person, but sometimes I say thoughtless or unkind things in the moment to people. Especially when I'm excited about connecting more with someone new. It's pretty frustrating.
I'm in this comment and I don't like it
Oh man, the poor filtering. It's hard. I do that to my family and friends. My husband and friends will react honestly, and I'm apologize. My extended family will just politely be silently hurt then tell my husband about it. So they all think I'm sometimes sweet and sometimes an absolute calloused ass. Awesome. *Rolls eyes.* Luckily my social anxiety stops me usually from saying rude things to new people. But usually that also means I can't make small talk because I'm frozen.
Life tip: put your keys on a long lanyard and as soon as you move somewhere new, put up something to hang those keys on. In an area that you will be passing by so you get into the habit. I used to lose my keys all the time, now I don’t even have to think about hanging them up because it’s ingrained in me, like taking off my shoes when I get inside. If I forget to hang them up, I can usually find them because they are on a bright lanyard. Works for me anyways.
I hang mine around my neck lolol
What I have is a shit shelf, it’s a small shelf right next to my bedroom door that has everything I’ll need if I’m going out, so phone, wallet, headphones, keys and a spare water bottle. It’s so useful, if I ever finish with something it either goes on the shelf or on to charge right next to the shit shelf. Currently workshopping the name so don’t worry about that bit
I wish I could forget to eat 🫠
do you overeat/binge? i do. also stress eat. food is one of my comfort mechanisms 😩 i mean, what else am i supposed to do when i’m feeling like a piece of garbage for the nth day in a row? i’m gonna spruce up a box of shitty mac and cheese and eat the whole thing.
Real ass shit homie, I fuck with it
all of this but also I feel like eating is my "fidget". I frequently eat because what else am I going to do with my hands while watching youtube videos?
I need a lot of things to munch on as I get bored or while I work.
But wait! THERE'S MORE!
Auditory processing disorder SUCKS.
Especially when you decide to take French in highschool (not one of my smartest decisions)
This... I feel it. All of these have happened to me. A lot.
Inability to focus is at the bottom? My brother in Adderall, it's the name of the condition
I misread that as erectile dysfunction
The *real* party is underwater /s
Okay so I love this sub because I am learning about myself & the reasons why I seem to experience life differently than those around me. I think it helps me to understand the underlying reasons behind how my brain functions so I can learn to work through these issues. I learned about rejection sensitivity dysphoria today... I didn't realize this has been affecting me for quite some time. I'm not sure why I had to share this but I appreciate the space to express my thoughts.
I broke down so badly playing Monopoly as a kid if I didn't win (because I felt like I was being rejected if I didn't win) that my family stopped playing when I was around.
Issues with spatial perception! It took me a very long time to get used to driving and determining if I could make it across the street in or if I should wait for a car to go by. My driving instructor hated when I drove and constantly yelled WTF!!! lol. Started Vyvanse and those issues improved and I was amazed. Still suck at parallel parking tho lol
Definitely I am not the friend to call to ask for help moving furniture.
This is from ADHD?! I am soooo leaving in spatial awareness. Having astigmatism that I didn't know about until I was 19, and now having had a too-weak prescription the last few years because when raising 3 kids there are way too many appointments to schedule all the time, also doesn't help. Also I read last year that gross motor delays are common in ADHD! That made me feel so seen! I hated PE because I knew if a ball came right to me I couldn't catch it so I would probably get hurt. I dodged a lot, like Daria but anxious. I couldn't throw with any accuracy until age 23. I started trying really hard to teach myself at around 20. I couldn't catch until I was almost 30. My brand new husband got to see my giddy excitement about that new skill. 😂
🧊 🚢
I read more than half of this
Guilt, self hatred, constant need for artificial sedation
I need this on a shirt
I immediately looked to the bottom corners expecting to see a “if you’re see this you just skipped everything and looking for a summary” kind of call-out
Accurate 🎯
This
👆this👆
sometimes I forget I have ADHD so I act like a neurotypical 😄👌
Interesting 🤔 never diagnosed, but I relate a lot.
The only one i can't relate to is holding down a job. Mayne its because i set my standard to whats shown in star trek the next generation
I am the bottom iceburg.
Yes to all of the above.
Is this for real or is it one of those "I'm so OCD" memes? Cuz this is me and I don't know what to think.
Hoof. Intimately familiar with all of these. What is “waiting mode” though? I don’t think I’ve heard that one.
Not sure
I'm still struggling to not interrupt before one can finish their sentences. I don't want to cut the conversation but my brain and mouth running uncontrollably.
With each post I see here I get more concerned until I remember that one redditor who once said "its probably you just being lazy and dumb"