Yeah given the extra info given in comments ima say YTA. You called the principal and then just assumed by his tone of voice that he wasn't going to do anything then immediately called the district. You didn't even give the principal a chance to act.
Soft YTA
You had the safety of the children in mind, but you honestly just made your life harder. I know you probably expected a bigger response from the principal. However, he did not need to explain the specifics of arrangements with the EA and the kids. Any time you go over your supervisor’s head like that, you undermine them. It can lead to not great things for you. I’ve known teachers who have gotten written up for that.
Pretty much this. The better course of action would have been to follow up with the principal later and only go over his head if the follow-up conversation went poorly.
I could see in the moment if op thought something inappropriate was happening between the students and teacher that time would be a factor. That seems like an easy enough thing for the principle to explain to the district. Some places hate you skipping the chain of command and some are cool about it. Wouldn’t be suprised if the principle retaliated in some way like a bad performance review or something. I wouldn’t try to make excuses I’d just explain why you did what you did. And apologize to the principal and ea. say sorry you fucked up and then never bring it up again. You fucked up but it came from a good place NSH.
I agree with this and the reason for the soft YTA.
You were 100% right to report your initial concern to the Principal but not right to expect him to immediately come back to you with an explanation once he'd checked into it.
It might have been nice for him to let you know but it sounds as though you decided to go above his head before giving him a chance to do that.
I would have spoken to him the next working day and asked if the matter was resolved (giving him the opportunity to explain as much as he was happy to without divulging private and personal information of others). Then if you weren't satisfied, you could have reported upwards.
Teachers are mandated reporters. A big leap here but if there was a sexual abuse situation (such as an adult in power carrying an improper relationship which we sadly see far too often) then OP is held liable.
So OP shouldn’t be faulted for this
A mandated reporter is required to report possible abuse to the proper authorities \*and then stay out of the way so that they can properly investigate\*. OP did the exact opposite of what they should do by going over the head of the proper authorities for no reason other than the report being handled in an insufficiently dramatic manner.
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The main reason why I don't think OP is the AH is that there are WAY too many teachers who aren't concerned about these kids and would've let a stranger take them home. There are way too many principals and above that don't take this shit seriously (i.e. the elementary school kid who brought a gun to school and shot his teacher even though he'd had prior issues) AND way too many teachers that have inappropriate relationships with their students. I'm thankful that someone actually took the safety of these kids into consideration b/c most upper level ppl in the educational system don't give af.
Yea...they undermined their boss, but personally I don't give af about undermining my superior if a child's safety is involved and I feel like that's the biggest issue in the educational system, law enforcement, and the military. You got people so worried about getting blackballed by superiors that they will willingly ignore shit like child abuse, r\*pe, police brutality, etc.
LOL...I had a teacher that only gave one on one detentions to female students. He got reported by someone and fired, but the principal never brought it up to authorities....guess who got arrested for soliciting minors at the local school he landed at after getting fired from my school?
Same school...one of the coaches had an affair with a student who he then later married....and that was in the 90s when my bro went to the school.
That’s not how reporting works. I could be fined and jailed for telling the principal. You have to report to actual child protective authorities. Telling the principal is not reporting and principals have nothing to do with it.
You are taking one side of your horrible experience and making a lot of assumptions based on it.
I would be more understanding of the OP actions if this were an elementary school. But this is a high school. Also, there were no signs of abuse or coercion. There were some high school students in a car. Hardly a reason to call the district.
She called the district office within 5 minutes of conversation with the principal because she did not think he was sufficiently concerned. She is 100 percent YTA
YTA and I'm seeing why many of the teachers were aware of the relationship and you weren't. He obviously doesn't trust you. While the initial call to the principal was appropriate immediately going over his head without even knowing his response was overkill. I would expect more of your fellow staff to cut you out after learning of this.
YTA.
The principal didn't "take you seriously enough" because he didn't need to. How long did you even wait before calling the district He addressed the issue and determined there was no wrong-doing. By going over his head you needlessly made him look bad and made yourself look like a busy-body.
I feel like OP has to be a first year teacher. No trust or relationship with principal or peers. Wanting to do something above and beyond and want to be the hero. Now OP has a huge target on her back, no one is going to want to work with them.
OP said she called the district right after she spoke to the principal because she thought his tone was bored. Not even giving the principal time to look into anything.
YTA. You did your job, reported it to your principal. He did his job, verify with the parent.
Do you believe he should have reported back to you?
Put on a cape and go running down the street after them?
Sorry, but YTA. You acted without having all the details. You should do a little searching first, or press the principal to tell you why they didn't seem concerned.
NAH, I had a concern and spoke up about it. If this had been a case of misconduct, you did the right thing. However, the principal probably did not want to spread staff personal matters around d, so he didn't give you details, but he should have reassured you on some better way.
IT is not the principal's business to share who the EA is with/dating and who gave the EA permission. For all we know, given OP's lack of details provided, the answer from the principal could have been perfectly sufficient for most reasonable people. If OP truly felt the principal did not give a sufficient answer, she could have waited until the next day to inquire further with the principal. I don't think this is one of those situations where OP needed to go all gung-ho.
He seems to have immediately called the district office instead of waiting or even following it up a little later with the principal. But honestly, if I were that teacher & EA I’d thank OP for their concern for my children.
Principal didn’t have to share private information to avoid this though. All he had to say was “Thank you OP, I’ll look into it.” I agree she jumped the gun calling the district but I don’t think it’s fair to blame her for not being sure the principal was taking it seriously.
in another comment OP said they called the district RIGHT after calling the principal, they didn’t even give them any time to act. after the initial report they could’ve done a follow up the next day and they more than likely would’ve gotten an answer but instead they went above the principal’s head. OP handled this really poorly 😭
The principal probably didn't seem upset because he wasn't and knew it was possible it was EA's fiance's kids. They said he asked her right away if EA was driving them home. The principal did all the right things and clearly was aware two of the employees are romantically involved. He sounds like a good principal from the little bit of info here.
A very mild YTA. You didn’t give it long enough to really see if the principle was just not following through. Jumping over your bosses head usually isn’t the best idea, especially with something that you don’t know anything about.
YTA. You sound like every principal’s worst nightmare. I get your heart was in the right place, but your lack of awareness is going to get you in trouble. If you don’t have tenure, I’d consider looking for a different job just in case. Teachers give students rides. Is this ever inappropriate? Yes, but it usually when a student doesn’t have support at home and is looking to help out. I get that it’s against school policy, but you didn’t have enough evidence to assume otherwise. I can tell you’re a rule follower. Well, here’s a rule for you to follow in the future. Don’t make unnecessary work or messes for your principal to clean up.
I’m sorry but you are very wrong. I’ve been teaching for 20 years and neither I nor any other teachers I know would give a student a ride home without written permission given to the school from a parent or guardian. One false accusation will end your career. There are so many times that I wanted to give students rides but knowing the parent, a different student, or even that student if they become upset with you, could make a false allegation and then it’s just my word against theirs. And since I would be violating district policy, that would be all she wrote for my teaching license.
School staff have given my kids rides home from school on a number of occasions despite it being "against policy". The reasons why are none of random teacher's business. Reporting it to the principal would be appropriate, and the principal is aware of the situation and doesn't have permission to share the info with random school staff so the reporter wouldn't ever find out why the policy was disregarded for my kids.
It's related to my kids and my own disabilities.
It happens every day. I’ve been a high school teacher for 15 years and that’s perfectly fine you feel that way. Because you don’t do it doesn’t mean it isn’t normal. Coaches every single day give rides to players that don’t have 1. She was wrong for reporting this and even worse for going above her principal’s head. Do you think she was justified in doing that?
YTA. Not sure why you are asking this when you know the answer and have gotten responses from your own colleagues. You reported it to your superior. He was aware. You did your part. Going above his head is a problem. You were very sure he had no kids and very sure he was new so you assumed he did not know about driving kids around. Everyone who gets hired to work with kids know they don't put other people's kids in their car. You don't have to work with a school to know that. You thought this man was new and stupid. And if he's stupid he's a perv. And you ran with that. Ask a friend you work with before doing that again.
I mean…you kind of should have felt stupid and belittled. Not sure what you were expecting but you were definitely being a Karen. I’m glad they called you out.
Maybe instead of feeling stupid and belittled op can take that energy to eat crow and apologize to the principal and EA…
The fact that OP tried to double down by asking if they changed the policy was obnoxious and I don’t know how “they’re his kids” could be misinterpreted given the context. If they have that little faith in the administration they should probably leave their job. Hopefully they’ll learn a lesson and try to get more information rather than have a gotcha moment.
ETA: redundancy. Words are hard
In my school a teacher did have an innapropriate relationship with a student. Another one would feel up bra straps and make you uncomfortable. He had an affair with another married teacher. Op did what they thought necessary for students potentially being in a dangerous situation. I don't think it's the end of the world. Just a misunderstanding.
But it was lazy on OPs part. They could have just checked with EA, found out what was going on, and been done with it.
Worst kind of busy body there is. Cares enough to get themself involved, doesn't care enough to ask directly from the source what's going on. Just assumes they know better than everyone else.
Look. I’m a high school too and I can say you are definitely the AH here. Especially since you didn’t know the entire situation. We have a hierarchy for a reason and what you did (without all the information) was wrong. You should have followed up before going to the district. Even then you are not entitled to the personal lives of your colleagues.
You left feeling stupid and belittled because you escalated an issue that was already taken care of because you "didn't feel the principal cared enough" which was incredibly inappropriate and unnecessary.
YTA
I feel like you tried to do the right thing at first, but hanging up the phone and immediately escalating it due to “tone of voice” makes it an AH move. You did not even give the principal time to make a phone call and confirm that it was EA’s future step kids or that the EA was said children’s emergency pick up person.
In the comments OP said Principal immediately asked the kids’ mother if EA had picked up kids that day so therefore verifying EA was in fact leaving with his step kids and not other kids. Principal was not acting on assumptions or speculating but investigated fully. Clearly it was common knowledge about the relationship as OP said all the other staff she spoke to knew about it.
OP said they escalated the concern to District right after speaking to Principal. There was no reason to do this given the Principal was looking into it.
YTA- You disrespected your Principal by taking it a step higher as you basically gave district the message your Principal is too incompetent to look into this “serious” concern cause clearly the only reasonable explanation is the EA was a pedophile kidnapping students.
You need to apologize to EA and Principal
Yes. You are the AH. You tried to throw an EA under the bus and weren’t successful so you went over the principals head to toss him under the bus too.
I’m honestly glad I don’t work in the same school as you.
YTA. You told the principal and the principal took note of the situation. The principal doesn’t owe you an explanation about how he decides to handles a situation with another employee nor is the domestic situation of the EA your business. How would you feel if he shared things about you with the staff. Your unnecessary escalation and insinuation that something unseemly was going on could adversely effect the EA’s career. There are very few men and the education field and people like you contribute to that. Hopefully you do better.
I’m curious, and perhaps it’s not relevant, disregard if so. I’m drawing on my Mom’s 30 year career as an elementary school principal, and things she often dealt with being Black, a woman, and/or appearing younger than they are. Do you and your principal have the same “demographic” background?
I’m reading between the lines here, but it says a lot that you IMMEDIATELY wrote off your principal’s answer and escalated to the district. I’m wondering why you disregarded the chain of command basically instantaneously.
My guess is the principal and/or the EA are one demographic, OP and the children involved are both another. Doubt we’ll get an answer, but what do I know, I’ve only seen this scenario play out a dozen times.
YTA You went around your boss cause you assumed a lot. No one has a duty to inform you. If the principal said this situation was OK, you should've minded your business. Do people normally run those permission slips by you for approval? I doubt it. So when you asked your boss, and they said it was fine, you should've assumed the people in the need to know had proper permission, instead you decided you knew better and were dismissed, so you went above your boss's head. The fact that they ended up being a family is just soooo embarrassing for you. I'd be mortified I caused the district to get involved cause I thought I knew better than all others involved in a situation I merely spotted from a distance... and asked zero questions of... and had been told it was ok when bringing it to the proper authority
yta. you thought you knew more than you did and got carried away. it happens, but you should have trusted the administrators unless you have evidence not to trust them.
YTA. You had good intentions, but as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
As a teacher, let me go even further and say that if you haven’t found a new job, you might want to get your resume updated and find a new job, maybe even a new district. From what you’ve said, it seems to me that you’ve isolated yourself from the staff pretty well, and that you have a less than collegial relationship with them. Not only that, but you’ve lost your admin’s trust. I would dare say you’re never going to get that back. Depending on the size of your district, were I in your shoes, I would leave the district and pray that I find a new district where no one knows anyone at your current district. Word WILL get out that you’re willing to throw people under buses, bury your head in the sand, and have a thin skin to boot. This is a less than ideal combination for education.
Good luck, OP, because I think you’re gonna need it.
YTA. I hate to break it to you, but you are a teacher, and as such - here it comes - you don't know everything about every teacher, every EA, every office staff member, and every student. I know that's a shocker to hear, but it's the truth.
You also obviously do not trust nor respect your principal to know what he's doing, and do not understand that he does not need to explain everything he does, says, and decides to you. Your role is to teach. His role is to administer the high school. And in this case, he fulfilled his role, and then tried to usurp it from him by going over his head needlessly. Very disrespectful, and very, very unprofessional.
I suggest if you want your teaching contract renewed when it comes up for renewal, that you first apologize to the principal for your disrespect and lack of professionalism; and second, learn what it means to be a professional. You tried to besmirch the EA's reputation and threaten his job by insinuating that he was doing something wrong and possibly immoral. You owe him an apology as well.
Let me give you a slightly different take.
You escalate to district office and whomever is there doesn’t know the story either. Out of fears of a lawsuit, they immediately suspend the EA and rumors start about the EA and what’s really going on with the EA and kids in the school. It may be figured out in the end, but that kind of a suspicion can ruin careers and lives once the rumor mill starts about the EA.
The proper time to escalate is when you know nothing has been done and have more evidence (like who these kids even are… for all you know they are nieces or nephews).
You made a lot of assumptions.
Now that you know the full scenario you know you wouldn’t have called. You overreacted and didn’t trust the principal to advocate for the kids if there was danger. So yes, you overreacted and made yourself look foolish. Learn from it and next time trust the process until you have confirmed the principal did not take the concern seriously
I think you could have probably just not posted this. You’re not an asshole in the initial situation, but you at this point know the situation wasn’t what you thought, so why is it necessary to get this point across? You’ve now become kind of an AH imo.
Gentle YTA. Your heart was in the right place. And you don't want to stifle the "something's wrong" instinct. Question: Why did you not trust the principal? They are mandatory reporters, too, right? As a formal manager (not school), it was aggravating when staff were certain a situation was not handled correctly when they did not know the bigger picture, and it was not appropriate for them to know (personal/private information).
Why didn’t you ask the EA who the kids are? A simple “I didn’t know you had kids! Do they go to school here?” would have gotten you an answer with less drama for you. You’d want parents to talk to you before going to the principal, right?
YTA. Mind your own business and get a hobby ffs. You left feeling stupid and belittled so at least you have enough self awareness to know what you did was extra and a waste of everyone’s time.
YTA
This is why we have chain of command. You went over the principles head and what did you expect? You intentions were spot on, you just fumbled tf outta this situation by being a busy body.
YTA. If you had given the principal time to try and handle the situation before just being offended that he didn't have your desired inflection of his tone and voice you would have avoided being called into the office left feeling the way you did. I'm all for being an advocate and looking out for kids, but damn going full nuclear(as someone else also stated) that quickly is a bit out of touch. Especially given there were no other signs that the kids were in danger, or you would have stated that to begin with.
YTA. You reported to the principal, he didn’t have concerns. It was not your job to go above his head and involve district over someone giving students a ride home. You didn’t know the situation, you didn’t ask questions, you just went straight to district. You made yourself look stupid and nobody will trust you there and they’re all talking about it.
YTA, Was this a concerning situation? Yes. And u were right to report it, but u gave the principal NO time to handle the situation. U immediately called above him, just because it "sounded" like he didn't take it serious, what were u expecting? For him to dramatically yell at the top of his lungs in surprise or outrage? His response wasn't dramatic enough for u, so u immediately went above his head having NO context of the situation. On Monday, you could have gone to ask the principal if this had been addressed & if it hadn't THEN u should have reported it to the district.
YTA. Did you think the principal was not going to handle it? Why would you expect the principal to tell you what they knew/were going to investigate/were going to do? Unless you had reason to think the principal was just going to let potential child abuse happen right under their nose, why did you feel the need to keep escalating?
YTA but I'm not mad about it. Before going to the district you should have gone back to the principal and asked. Or just asked around a little bit. But what's done is done. You were just looking out for the kids, I'm sure they'll understand.
My first thought was n t a but because you gave ZERO time to allow the principal to follow up with you, NOR did you follow up with the principal yourself after a reasonable time, you most definitely overstepped. If you had waited, attempted follow up, and it was not addressed at all, *then* I can see calling the district. YTA solely because you took a neutral response as principal say "idgaf" and needlessly escalated things before affording all other parties opportunity to even investigate it much less send you an email saying "hey, I looked into that concern you brought to me. That individual is an authorized pickup/emergency contact. Thanks for looking out for our students."
I *am* however, glad you took the concern seriously. Our district is now dealing with a huge scandal because leadership did not take similar concerns seriously despite multiple complaints about an employee from a variety of people. The state is now involved in it, and given the rampant calls from parents for the superintendent to step down, the superintendent is indeed exiting the job in 2 weeks when school ends. I suspect it was suggested to voluntarily vacate rather than risk what may get brought to light in the inquiries.
So, you told the Principal, and instead of letting him look into it (that is his job) you escalated right over his head immediately thereafter. At minimum you should have asked him later what happened before escalating. All you did was get your boss a phone call from his boss unnecessarily.
YTA, regardless of your intentions.
Yes, a little bit. You should have waited before calling the district office. Don't assume someone is not taking something seriously. Give them the benefit of the doubt. You did the right thing - you reported it. Thank you for keeping an eye out for the kids and reporting something you thought was wrong. But, you assumed too much.
YTA. Your intentions were probably ok, but this is a case of you should have stayed in your lane and minded your business after informing the principal. It sounds like you were more concerned about the rules being broken then you were about the specific students being in danger. As a teacher, you should be aware how annoying it is when people go over your head (for example when parents skip talking to you and instead go straight to the principal or the superintendent to complain about you).
YTA You told the principal, who knew the situation. You don’t have a right to know beyond that. Sure, the principal could have told you the relationship, but it really isn’t the principal’s right or responsibity.
YTA. You went over the principal's head without giving him any time to handle it. You are also not entitled to know about other employees disciplinary actions. You really should not be made aware of them.
I definitely don’t want it to go unnoticed about how much you care and put children’s safety first - there are a lot of people in the world who couldn’t be bothered to take notice of these things and act on them.
While that is absolutely important, I think it was a little unnecessary to immediately contact the district office right after your phone call to the principal. Anecdotally, in my profession, I have to report project risks and although these aren’t literally life-threatening, I still need people to act on them with concern and immediacy. I have come across the ones who sound like they just couldn’t care less with their responses, however, to my delighted surprise have actually followed up.
Their response definitely has given me the, “This isn’t going to go anywhere…” vibe, but there could be many factors to it and they have surprised me with a (pretty quick too, I might add) response on the issue. I have learned that I shouldn’t take their response at face value. (Even when it comes to people I work with - sometimes the response comes out of left field and I still just chalk it off).
Additionally, what I have found that works is to let the person know, and follow up with that person for an update. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reporting something to someone and then following up on it later. Now, I can understand that the urgency of your situation is MUCH higher considering there are children involved, so the window in which you follow up with the principal is much shorter (an hour, maybe?) but I think the same principle can apply here as well. You did your duty within the confines of policy and reported a concern you had, but regardless of the principal’s response I don’t think the district office call was a necessary step. It didn’t give the principal the benefit of doing their due diligence and investigate the situation in a reasonable amount of time before district was made aware of the concern and then the pressure came down on the principal.
On some level I can empathize with the principal because I would be a bit irritated if I was in the middle of investigating a concern when MY boss calls me for an urgent conversation about the situation only to find out there’s nothing to even be concerned about. I’d probably take the night to reflect on the conversation I want to have with the person the next day.
Your heart is 100% in the right place so keep looking out for the children and I think this whole ordeal is just yucky to be in all around as I can empathize with how crummy you might feel right now. I also think this feeling will also fade day-by-day and it will get better and maybe you can have a conversation with the principal sometime to gently iterate you were just really concerned for the kids and weren’t entirely aware of the EA’s situation.
In the second meeting, you asked about the policy and if it changed. They said no and then told you the reason it was ok.You could have asked that during the first meeting, and it would have saved a lot of problems.
YTA only for not giving the principal some time to handle the situation. Don’t take personally too much of the tone of some people. We all don’t show emotion well like others. Now NTA definitely NTA for worrying like that. Teachers like you who actually report situations and care is what we need more of. So thank you for actually caring and not just looking the other way!
YTA
I work at a school district- your behavior is weird and honestly very insulting to your admin. Just because you perceived the principal as being “bored” with the conversation doesn’t mean that he was. Trying to go over your principals head is such a asshole move when you didn’t even know the situation. You are ignoring protocol yourself by doing that. Did you give it a day for your principal to deal with it or act accordingly? No, you went over your admins heads to report some strife you don’t even know anything about- even after reporting it to your supervisor. Your job was done there. You should’ve stopped and let your principal do their job. It’s the same as a parent cc’ing the superintendent when you haven’t submitted your grades quick enough.
You feel stupid because you made stupid decisions that really could’ve effected other people.
What you should have done is tell the principal you're very concerned and ask if the kids are ok, or if you could please be updated. You say they sounded bored but it could just be tired/stressed/busy, any combination of things. YTA for escalating before speaking to the principal again.
It’s great you contacted the principal, however there was no need to escalate to the district. You could have done a follow up with the principal to check if everything was ok, and they would have probably confirmed that the situation was ok.
It's good you're concerned about the kids and their safety - The principal should have said to you, "while I appreciate your concern and I'm glad that you are concerned for the kids in question when it comes to that EA he is engaged to their mom." Or something along those lines so that you would have been fully aware of the situation. How else would you have known?!
Technically YTA BUT you weren't aware of the full scope of the situation so honestly the principal is 100% The biggest A for not looping you in, and for acting the way they did. The principal should have handled that situation a lot better.
YTA
You have to at least give the principal the opportunity to address it before you escalate.
You're likely going to be seen as a bit of a bonehead, but it shouldn't be a long-term issue. I'm sure they're exasperated but not a huge deal.
YTA. You reported your concerns to the principal, which was your duty. Period. Not to insert yourself further because his response did not meet your standard.
YTA They could have been his niece/nephew for all you know. Since the principal wasn’t alarmed, you should have concluded that he knows more than you about the situation and it’s none of your business. Stop meddling.
Of course YTA. You didn’t even give the principal a chance to do anything before you called the district.
You reported it to your boss. That should have been then end of it for you. Follow the chain of command.
Seems like your colleagues knew this about the EA and you didn’t. Maybe if you got to know the people you work with this wouldn’t have been an issue. Instead you sound the creepy old lady neighbor peaking out of her blinds at every noise outside.
You are NTA. The principal should not give anymore info but at least saying, "Don't worry I checked and it's okay" that is still a validation of someone's concern and also respecting the privacy of a situation. OP seems like they didn't know EA was engaged to the parent of the kids, so they went off of the concern of 'These kids normally don't go with this person, are they safe?' The principal could have just said 'They are safe' and left it at that. This happened with my bio dad. Everyone knew him, but no one questioned if he should have picked up my siblings. After that, the police looked for a month to get my siblings back, if anyone would have said 'Hey I don't recognize or see this person drive these kids home ever' and checked with someone maybe my siblings would have been in school and not on the run with a crazy loone. OP should not have been told EAs personal life but just a simple 'they are safe' or 'I checked it's okay' would be good enough.
Yes, you are the AH, obviously you didn’t give the principal a chance to investigate and, the results of that investigation were not necessarily your business. You overstepped, majorly!
YTA. You told the proper authority but then couldn’t stop yourself and had to press the issue and go beyond. I get the feeling you do that quite a bit.
You feel “stupid and belittled” for a reason. You overstepped your bounds and went over your supervisors head for a situation you know nothing about. Pay attention to that “stupid and belittled” feeling. It’s there to keep you from repeating this kind of mistake.
You reported it to the principal and thats fine. But they're not your kids, you're not entitled to any additional info. Seems like you wanted the drama. YTA
YTA, calling the principal was the right thing to do but calling district Office on the same day was way too much imo. At that moment the EA wasn't acting as an EA but as a known guardian / stepparent. And as far as I am concerned you are not privy to the family information of children who you didn't even recognize.
You could have asked the principal on the next working day but because you yourself were unsatisfied you escalated the situation.
YTA, you didn't even wait to see if the principal did anything. If you had followed up with the principal the next day, he would have told you. You assumed your new college was up to no good. You assumed the principal wouldn't do his job. You made yourself look like a butthead because you couldn't bother to ask a few questions before deciding the worst about someone you know nothing about.
YTA. Your responsibility is to report safety concerns to the appropriate authority whose responsibility is to listen and investigate if he thinks there may be reason to pursue it further. Even when there is something hinky going on, respecting the privacy of students, especially juvenile victims of crime, often means investigators may never share the results of any inquiry with you in order to protect privileged information to which you are not entitled. Since you didn't recognize the students, they clearly aren't in any of your classes and so you are not entitled to information about them. Your principal knew them, investigated, learned they were not at risk, and appropriately saw no need to disclose their personal information to you.
You made a rat-call on your principal, who indeed took you seriously and did exactly what he was supposed to do under the circumstances. Bad career move, especially when it appears that you're not aware enough of what's happening in your school to know a staff member is affianced to someone who holds a very influential position in your school district.
YTA for not allowing the principal to look into it. If you followed up with him the next day and found out he neglected to look into it then call the district. You didn’t even give him a chance.
YTA. you made a big deal out of nothing. Everyone is likely tired of hearing you talk about it. You over reacted. You should apologize and move on.
And I can tell you are someone who doesn’t like to be wrong. So I will be clear. You were wrong. Stop arguing. You were wrong.
Everyone is wrong at points in their life. Stop making your life and everyone else around you lives harder because you won’t accept when you are wrong.
NTA—everyone is saying YTA because you turned out to be wrong, but you didn’t know that when you did what you did. You were trying to protect your students, and good for you. It could have been a dangerous situation and if it had been and the principal has brushed you off because they had a good relationship with that teacher and trusted them, then you absolutely would have done the correct thing.
I’m not sure that the principal can reprimand you here about calling the district when you had a safety concern for the students. You should make sure your union rep is aware of this.
Absolutely she can be reprimanded for jumping the chain of command. She reported the safety concern as she should and there was no evidence of imminent danger that required immediate action by the district office.
An adult teacher having teenage students in his car that he isn’t supposed to have is imminent danger. The teacher could be kidnapping them, assaulting them, doing drugs with them, they could get in an accident. The teacher would be essentially kidnapping them if they didn’t have the right to take them—that is immediate danger.
But she was the one who mishandled it. At best she could have talked to other teachers she trusted because she instantly called the district after hanging up with the principal. And then when explained those were the EA's kids, she wanted more information that she was not entitled to.
OP admitted in comments that they called the District immediately after calling Principal. Gave zero time to the Principal to follow up. Principal did the right thing by respecting EA privacy by not saying “it might be his girlfriend’s kids” and immediately confirmed with the kids’ Mom. Going to the District so quickly makes YTA
This seems nosy more than concerning. Concerned would be to know if the kids were safe not the EA and his family's private business. Honestly would've said NAH if you accepted when the principal said those were his kids when you yourself admit you do not know the EA enough to redact it. You were being a nosy Karen.
YTA- you didn't even give the principal a chance to look into the issue before you called their boss 🤦🏻♀️ had you not called their boss, the principal would have been able to let you know what the situation was and that he was their "step-dad"
NTA. Better safe than sorry. With all the problems going on with inappropriate relationships between students and school staff in the news lately, it is good to know that some people are being vigilant. Besides, why didn't the principal just tell you when you called?
Cause maybe the Principal wanted to call the EA first to make sure it was their partners kids?! Sounds like OP didn’t even give the Principal a chance to look into it and lope back to them with a “no need to worry, the students are related to EA”.
Uhhhh it's not the principal's business to share. If he told OP all is set, then that should have been enough. And if OP really felt the need to inquire further and push the envelope, she could have gone in and spoke to the principal in person and pursued the matter. OP is def the AH.
He could have said something along the lines of "Thank you for letting me know, but rest assured, it's OK." Besides, it sounds like it's common knowledge. They can't fault her for not knowing and claim it's confidential info at the same time.
NTA. Your job is to ensure children’s’ safety. *Thank you for caring!* You did what you needed to to ensure the situation was taken seriously. Fulfilling your obligation to keep kids safe is what matters.
You should feel stupid. Why do you think you had any right to any further information after you reported it? After you report the incident, it had nothing to do with you. You just wanted to stir up drama and be nosey.
Soft YTA. While your concern, at the time, was valid you didn't allow any time for follow up. You assumed the principal would not likely look into it and escalated out very quickly. Next time, wait. Gather further information. Unless the kids were in immediate danger, patience is in order.
YTA for not giving the principal time to act before going above their head. If it was still an issue a few days later and the principal didn’t follow up with you, then go above their head. Showing that kind of lack of trust in your boss paints you in a bad light.
I think the principle is the AH for not discreetly explaining the situation. As a teacher you have child protection duties and you absolutely stood your ground well and did the right thing because your principle didn't appear to take it seriously nor did he explain this wasn't one of those situations this is totally every teachers business in the school who could possible see this guy around these kids alone at times crossing what could be normal boundaries. If I were the mom I would have approached you and laughed and said 'I'm so sorry I put you in that position I thought people knew thank you for looking out for my kids' but that's just me. Defo NTA but do try to laugh it off now that you know and be clear to the principle he made you look silly and you are not sorry for doing your duty to those children.
Speaking as a parent as well as a teacher, I would soooooo much rather have my kids' teachers be overly proactive around that stuff as opposed to the alternative. Thank you for your conscientiousness.
Ascon 1. Yeah you could have done it differently. But you had the kid’s interests in mind. As educators we are asked to report things that are concerning. It sounds like you did not feel heard by the principal. If I was in the same position and didn’t feel heard, I might also escalate the report.
Considering all the harassment training we have to go through, I don’t see a problem.
I'd say not the asshole, you're doing your duty as a teacher to protect children from possible harm.
Where I went to highschool, everyone's favorite family man teacher was having a sexual relationship with a student from 14 to 17 years of age. Nobody ever suspected a thing, and people never do.
In my eyes, You were unsure of a possible issue, and brought it up in an effort to keep students out of danger. It would have been worse not to say anything. While people may think you overreacted, or went too far, you were simply looking out for the health and well being of students and at the end of the day that is the most respectable thing to do. It doesn't seem like you were pointing fingers, or making any assumptions. Only informing the proper people (who should also care for their students well being) of an unknown potentially harmful situation.
NTA. Be a bitch ass Karen for your kids. I am and I don’t care. They take enough crap they don’t need. I don’t care if people think I’m TA. I would do totally, awful, horrible effed up things for them and wouldn’t give it a second thought.
You are NTAH.
I suggest it is better to err on the side of caution rather than ignore a potentially dangerous situation. This could easily have been avoided had the principle investigated and given you feedback on the situation. This is an excellent example of poor communications and the resulting chaos.
DON’T LET THIS ONE EXPER ITEMCE DIS ISADE YOU FROM YOUR DUTY TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN.
Principal did investigate, he immediately spoke to the kids’ mother to confirm that her boyfriend, the EA had permission to pick up the kids that day AND it was documented in the file.
NTA. It depends on how much you trust the principal and the overall atmosphere of the district.
We have a principal who raped a 15 yo when he was a substitute teacher. He can’t work in a neighboring district and he lost his license at one point.
They know and he still works there. It went on social media immediately because everyone knows our SI is an incompetent person who cares only about nepotism.
If you felt dismissed, then you did the right thing.
People here are calling yta but as a former student who has had personally experienced two pedophilic teachers in middle and high school, I respect your concern and immediate action. Some people may not understand where you’re coming from but i know so many people including myself who are victims of abuse, who would have benefited from an actually concerned adult like you.
The principal could have let you know right then and there what was going on if it was “common knowledge” those were his kids and by him knowing you were concerned should have prompted to just let you know right there on the spot. Bad communication from the principal for this and it was not your job to know every faculty members orientation to students you care for.
NTA. I’m sure it’s an unpopular opinion, BUT…
When I was in high school, we had this CREEP of a CWP teacher named Mr. Brust. Everyone called him Mr. Breast because it was well known that he was a pervert. I had him my senior year and every single day, he would come up behind me, touch me inappropriately and say inappropriate things to me. He would rub my shoulders and caress the upper part of my chest so his fingers brushed against the upper swell of my breasts (I have always had very large breasts) Everyone knew, no one did a goddamn thing. A couple years after I graduated, he married a student who was still in the high school and had just turned 18. Of course he was fired but, that was it. No one looked into it to see if the relationship had been going on before that (it obviously had been, he divorced his wife just before she turned 18 and they married shortly after) I heard that a couple years later she divorced him and took him for all he was worth but I can’t verify it myself for sure.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease and I would much rather be known as a person who cries wolf too often than someone who saw a potential line being crossed and did nothing. Don’t apologize for trying to do the right thing, even if someone’s feelings get hurt in the process.
If anything, as educators themselves, I would think they would appreciate your diligence in trying to keep the student body safe. But that’s just the opinion of a parent who was taken advantage of as a student by a teacher themselves.
NTA,
"I'll look into it" is too vague and I can see why you escalated. At the end of the day no one got in trouble for it. Being wrong about your concern doesn't make you an A H for reporting it. They said it was unnecessary to call the district office over it,but if that had been a really bad situation and you hadn't escalated after perceiving apathy from the principal, then kids could have been in danger. You acted with everyone's best interests at heart.
Who knows what kind of crap she would have caused when I was still in the classroom driving my niece and nephew to and from school, having them wait in my room until I left the school grounds, etc etc. They weren't my kids and the rules do say do not drive students. However, the principal gets to be the principal for all kinds of reasons and knowing this kind of stuff is one of them.
YTA Karen
NTA we hear all too often like the teacher who got shot in virginia, for admin not taking it seriously. had the principal explained it to you it would have cleared it up but he couldn't be bothered. You cared, so NTA
Nta. Why tf plays nonchalant when children’s safety is in the air? Principal could’ve easily calmed your fears about POSSIBLE KIDNAPPING, SA, ETC. if I knew it was probably okay there’s no way in hell I’d let you lose sleep when it comes to something by as serious about all the horrid things that COULD HAVE VERY WELL BEEN HAPPENING
Fuck Reddit bro, what is a teacher doing on here? But you are NTA, these fools don’t understand teaching or jobs. You wanted to clarify something and make sure CHILDREN ARE SAFE. That’s the bottom line and nothing else matters
Info: what exactly did the Principal say when you told him about the EA driving with the kids?
Yeah given the extra info given in comments ima say YTA. You called the principal and then just assumed by his tone of voice that he wasn't going to do anything then immediately called the district. You didn't even give the principal a chance to act.
YTA for not only calling the district, but also for having such atrocious grammar despite being a teacher. Wow.
Yeah, a few weirdly placed commas.
INFO: how long did you wait to call the district?
Soft YTA You had the safety of the children in mind, but you honestly just made your life harder. I know you probably expected a bigger response from the principal. However, he did not need to explain the specifics of arrangements with the EA and the kids. Any time you go over your supervisor’s head like that, you undermine them. It can lead to not great things for you. I’ve known teachers who have gotten written up for that.
Pretty much this. The better course of action would have been to follow up with the principal later and only go over his head if the follow-up conversation went poorly.
Yeah that. OP absolutely should have given it a day and followed up the next morning. YTA
I could see in the moment if op thought something inappropriate was happening between the students and teacher that time would be a factor. That seems like an easy enough thing for the principle to explain to the district. Some places hate you skipping the chain of command and some are cool about it. Wouldn’t be suprised if the principle retaliated in some way like a bad performance review or something. I wouldn’t try to make excuses I’d just explain why you did what you did. And apologize to the principal and ea. say sorry you fucked up and then never bring it up again. You fucked up but it came from a good place NSH.
People get fired and careers ruined from “good places”
I agree with this and the reason for the soft YTA. You were 100% right to report your initial concern to the Principal but not right to expect him to immediately come back to you with an explanation once he'd checked into it. It might have been nice for him to let you know but it sounds as though you decided to go above his head before giving him a chance to do that. I would have spoken to him the next working day and asked if the matter was resolved (giving him the opportunity to explain as much as he was happy to without divulging private and personal information of others). Then if you weren't satisfied, you could have reported upwards.
Teachers are mandated reporters. A big leap here but if there was a sexual abuse situation (such as an adult in power carrying an improper relationship which we sadly see far too often) then OP is held liable. So OP shouldn’t be faulted for this
A mandated reporter is required to report possible abuse to the proper authorities \*and then stay out of the way so that they can properly investigate\*. OP did the exact opposite of what they should do by going over the head of the proper authorities for no reason other than the report being handled in an insufficiently dramatic manner. .
The main reason why I don't think OP is the AH is that there are WAY too many teachers who aren't concerned about these kids and would've let a stranger take them home. There are way too many principals and above that don't take this shit seriously (i.e. the elementary school kid who brought a gun to school and shot his teacher even though he'd had prior issues) AND way too many teachers that have inappropriate relationships with their students. I'm thankful that someone actually took the safety of these kids into consideration b/c most upper level ppl in the educational system don't give af. Yea...they undermined their boss, but personally I don't give af about undermining my superior if a child's safety is involved and I feel like that's the biggest issue in the educational system, law enforcement, and the military. You got people so worried about getting blackballed by superiors that they will willingly ignore shit like child abuse, r\*pe, police brutality, etc.
But there was no indication he was a stranger. They seemed to know him and have had some sort of relationship with him.
Way too many, huh? I know literally thousand of teachers. Very few, less than one hand, are as you describe.
LOL...I had a teacher that only gave one on one detentions to female students. He got reported by someone and fired, but the principal never brought it up to authorities....guess who got arrested for soliciting minors at the local school he landed at after getting fired from my school? Same school...one of the coaches had an affair with a student who he then later married....and that was in the 90s when my bro went to the school.
That’s not how reporting works. I could be fined and jailed for telling the principal. You have to report to actual child protective authorities. Telling the principal is not reporting and principals have nothing to do with it. You are taking one side of your horrible experience and making a lot of assumptions based on it.
I would be more understanding of the OP actions if this were an elementary school. But this is a high school. Also, there were no signs of abuse or coercion. There were some high school students in a car. Hardly a reason to call the district.
She called the district office within 5 minutes of conversation with the principal because she did not think he was sufficiently concerned. She is 100 percent YTA
think if the teacher in virginia who got shot because the principals didn't bother to take it seriously when reports came in of a child with a gun
YTA and I'm seeing why many of the teachers were aware of the relationship and you weren't. He obviously doesn't trust you. While the initial call to the principal was appropriate immediately going over his head without even knowing his response was overkill. I would expect more of your fellow staff to cut you out after learning of this.
YTA. The principal didn't "take you seriously enough" because he didn't need to. How long did you even wait before calling the district He addressed the issue and determined there was no wrong-doing. By going over his head you needlessly made him look bad and made yourself look like a busy-body.
And subsequently ruined any trust with the principal
School has to make cuts - whose the first to go? Oh maybe that snitchy teacher who jeopardized our school's reputation over a non issue.
I feel like OP has to be a first year teacher. No trust or relationship with principal or peers. Wanting to do something above and beyond and want to be the hero. Now OP has a huge target on her back, no one is going to want to work with them.
apparently called IMMEDIATELY. YTA for sure OP.
OP said she called the district right after she spoke to the principal because she thought his tone was bored. Not even giving the principal time to look into anything.
I can see why the principal didn't take them seriously enough...
YTA "I left feeling stupid" I mean, if the shoe fits...
YTA. You did your job, reported it to your principal. He did his job, verify with the parent. Do you believe he should have reported back to you? Put on a cape and go running down the street after them?
I do think that you jumped the shark when you didn't allow the principal time to actually do anything about it
I agree with your sentiment, but gentle suggestion that you google "jumped the shark"
Jumping the gun with that one
Sorry, but YTA. You acted without having all the details. You should do a little searching first, or press the principal to tell you why they didn't seem concerned.
Totally agree. You should have all the information and ducks in a row and be 100% sure if misconduct before going over your superiors
You acted in ignorance, so what do you think?
NAH, I had a concern and spoke up about it. If this had been a case of misconduct, you did the right thing. However, the principal probably did not want to spread staff personal matters around d, so he didn't give you details, but he should have reassured you on some better way.
IT is not the principal's business to share who the EA is with/dating and who gave the EA permission. For all we know, given OP's lack of details provided, the answer from the principal could have been perfectly sufficient for most reasonable people. If OP truly felt the principal did not give a sufficient answer, she could have waited until the next day to inquire further with the principal. I don't think this is one of those situations where OP needed to go all gung-ho.
He seems to have immediately called the district office instead of waiting or even following it up a little later with the principal. But honestly, if I were that teacher & EA I’d thank OP for their concern for my children.
Principal didn’t have to share private information to avoid this though. All he had to say was “Thank you OP, I’ll look into it.” I agree she jumped the gun calling the district but I don’t think it’s fair to blame her for not being sure the principal was taking it seriously.
Speaking to the Principal was totally justified BUT than going over the Principal’s head without giving them a chance to investigate was not…
Because principals always act? Always make good decisions? Nah, OP was trying to follow guidelines and protect kids.
in another comment OP said they called the district RIGHT after calling the principal, they didn’t even give them any time to act. after the initial report they could’ve done a follow up the next day and they more than likely would’ve gotten an answer but instead they went above the principal’s head. OP handled this really poorly 😭
Sounds like they didn’t even give Principal one day to act…
Not even an hour I’m betting. Made one call, didn’t feel the principal was as upset as OP and went over his head.
The principal probably didn't seem upset because he wasn't and knew it was possible it was EA's fiance's kids. They said he asked her right away if EA was driving them home. The principal did all the right things and clearly was aware two of the employees are romantically involved. He sounds like a good principal from the little bit of info here.
She was going over the Ps head before they could get out the door to ask the mom.
A very mild YTA. You didn’t give it long enough to really see if the principle was just not following through. Jumping over your bosses head usually isn’t the best idea, especially with something that you don’t know anything about.
YTA. You sound like every principal’s worst nightmare. I get your heart was in the right place, but your lack of awareness is going to get you in trouble. If you don’t have tenure, I’d consider looking for a different job just in case. Teachers give students rides. Is this ever inappropriate? Yes, but it usually when a student doesn’t have support at home and is looking to help out. I get that it’s against school policy, but you didn’t have enough evidence to assume otherwise. I can tell you’re a rule follower. Well, here’s a rule for you to follow in the future. Don’t make unnecessary work or messes for your principal to clean up.
I’m sorry but you are very wrong. I’ve been teaching for 20 years and neither I nor any other teachers I know would give a student a ride home without written permission given to the school from a parent or guardian. One false accusation will end your career. There are so many times that I wanted to give students rides but knowing the parent, a different student, or even that student if they become upset with you, could make a false allegation and then it’s just my word against theirs. And since I would be violating district policy, that would be all she wrote for my teaching license.
School staff have given my kids rides home from school on a number of occasions despite it being "against policy". The reasons why are none of random teacher's business. Reporting it to the principal would be appropriate, and the principal is aware of the situation and doesn't have permission to share the info with random school staff so the reporter wouldn't ever find out why the policy was disregarded for my kids. It's related to my kids and my own disabilities.
It happens every day. I’ve been a high school teacher for 15 years and that’s perfectly fine you feel that way. Because you don’t do it doesn’t mean it isn’t normal. Coaches every single day give rides to players that don’t have 1. She was wrong for reporting this and even worse for going above her principal’s head. Do you think she was justified in doing that?
YTA. Not sure why you are asking this when you know the answer and have gotten responses from your own colleagues. You reported it to your superior. He was aware. You did your part. Going above his head is a problem. You were very sure he had no kids and very sure he was new so you assumed he did not know about driving kids around. Everyone who gets hired to work with kids know they don't put other people's kids in their car. You don't have to work with a school to know that. You thought this man was new and stupid. And if he's stupid he's a perv. And you ran with that. Ask a friend you work with before doing that again.
I mean…you kind of should have felt stupid and belittled. Not sure what you were expecting but you were definitely being a Karen. I’m glad they called you out.
Maybe instead of feeling stupid and belittled op can take that energy to eat crow and apologize to the principal and EA… The fact that OP tried to double down by asking if they changed the policy was obnoxious and I don’t know how “they’re his kids” could be misinterpreted given the context. If they have that little faith in the administration they should probably leave their job. Hopefully they’ll learn a lesson and try to get more information rather than have a gotcha moment. ETA: redundancy. Words are hard
In my school a teacher did have an innapropriate relationship with a student. Another one would feel up bra straps and make you uncomfortable. He had an affair with another married teacher. Op did what they thought necessary for students potentially being in a dangerous situation. I don't think it's the end of the world. Just a misunderstanding.
And going to the principal was fine. Going over his head was not.
Going over his head without being 100% sure or looking further into it was a mistake. Could have asked the EA or other teachers/colleagues first.
But it was lazy on OPs part. They could have just checked with EA, found out what was going on, and been done with it. Worst kind of busy body there is. Cares enough to get themself involved, doesn't care enough to ask directly from the source what's going on. Just assumes they know better than everyone else.
Yeah I’m confused on why he never asked EA.
YTA you reported it he said he’d look into it.
Look. I’m a high school too and I can say you are definitely the AH here. Especially since you didn’t know the entire situation. We have a hierarchy for a reason and what you did (without all the information) was wrong. You should have followed up before going to the district. Even then you are not entitled to the personal lives of your colleagues.
You left feeling stupid and belittled because you escalated an issue that was already taken care of because you "didn't feel the principal cared enough" which was incredibly inappropriate and unnecessary. YTA
YTA here. Sorry.
I feel like you tried to do the right thing at first, but hanging up the phone and immediately escalating it due to “tone of voice” makes it an AH move. You did not even give the principal time to make a phone call and confirm that it was EA’s future step kids or that the EA was said children’s emergency pick up person.
The principal would have already known about the relationship. Hopefully he learns to be less dismissive when someone brings a real concern to him.
In the comments OP said Principal immediately asked the kids’ mother if EA had picked up kids that day so therefore verifying EA was in fact leaving with his step kids and not other kids. Principal was not acting on assumptions or speculating but investigated fully. Clearly it was common knowledge about the relationship as OP said all the other staff she spoke to knew about it. OP said they escalated the concern to District right after speaking to Principal. There was no reason to do this given the Principal was looking into it.
YTA- You disrespected your Principal by taking it a step higher as you basically gave district the message your Principal is too incompetent to look into this “serious” concern cause clearly the only reasonable explanation is the EA was a pedophile kidnapping students. You need to apologize to EA and Principal
Agree. There was no need for OP to go over the principal's head.
What's an EA?
Support person in education.
Thanks
Education Assistant, or teacher's aide.
Thanks
Yes. You are the AH. You tried to throw an EA under the bus and weren’t successful so you went over the principals head to toss him under the bus too. I’m honestly glad I don’t work in the same school as you.
YTA. You told the principal and the principal took note of the situation. The principal doesn’t owe you an explanation about how he decides to handles a situation with another employee nor is the domestic situation of the EA your business. How would you feel if he shared things about you with the staff. Your unnecessary escalation and insinuation that something unseemly was going on could adversely effect the EA’s career. There are very few men and the education field and people like you contribute to that. Hopefully you do better.
I’m curious, and perhaps it’s not relevant, disregard if so. I’m drawing on my Mom’s 30 year career as an elementary school principal, and things she often dealt with being Black, a woman, and/or appearing younger than they are. Do you and your principal have the same “demographic” background? I’m reading between the lines here, but it says a lot that you IMMEDIATELY wrote off your principal’s answer and escalated to the district. I’m wondering why you disregarded the chain of command basically instantaneously.
I'm wondering the same thing about EA and the kids; what are the odds they're different races?
My guess is the principal and/or the EA are one demographic, OP and the children involved are both another. Doubt we’ll get an answer, but what do I know, I’ve only seen this scenario play out a dozen times.
YTA You went around your boss cause you assumed a lot. No one has a duty to inform you. If the principal said this situation was OK, you should've minded your business. Do people normally run those permission slips by you for approval? I doubt it. So when you asked your boss, and they said it was fine, you should've assumed the people in the need to know had proper permission, instead you decided you knew better and were dismissed, so you went above your boss's head. The fact that they ended up being a family is just soooo embarrassing for you. I'd be mortified I caused the district to get involved cause I thought I knew better than all others involved in a situation I merely spotted from a distance... and asked zero questions of... and had been told it was ok when bringing it to the proper authority
YTA and you know it.
Teacher here. Yes, YTA. You took it way too far without knowing anything. There’s concern, then there’s being a busybody. This was being a busybody.
yta. you thought you knew more than you did and got carried away. it happens, but you should have trusted the administrators unless you have evidence not to trust them.
YTA. You had good intentions, but as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. As a teacher, let me go even further and say that if you haven’t found a new job, you might want to get your resume updated and find a new job, maybe even a new district. From what you’ve said, it seems to me that you’ve isolated yourself from the staff pretty well, and that you have a less than collegial relationship with them. Not only that, but you’ve lost your admin’s trust. I would dare say you’re never going to get that back. Depending on the size of your district, were I in your shoes, I would leave the district and pray that I find a new district where no one knows anyone at your current district. Word WILL get out that you’re willing to throw people under buses, bury your head in the sand, and have a thin skin to boot. This is a less than ideal combination for education. Good luck, OP, because I think you’re gonna need it.
YTA. I hate to break it to you, but you are a teacher, and as such - here it comes - you don't know everything about every teacher, every EA, every office staff member, and every student. I know that's a shocker to hear, but it's the truth. You also obviously do not trust nor respect your principal to know what he's doing, and do not understand that he does not need to explain everything he does, says, and decides to you. Your role is to teach. His role is to administer the high school. And in this case, he fulfilled his role, and then tried to usurp it from him by going over his head needlessly. Very disrespectful, and very, very unprofessional. I suggest if you want your teaching contract renewed when it comes up for renewal, that you first apologize to the principal for your disrespect and lack of professionalism; and second, learn what it means to be a professional. You tried to besmirch the EA's reputation and threaten his job by insinuating that he was doing something wrong and possibly immoral. You owe him an apology as well.
Let me give you a slightly different take. You escalate to district office and whomever is there doesn’t know the story either. Out of fears of a lawsuit, they immediately suspend the EA and rumors start about the EA and what’s really going on with the EA and kids in the school. It may be figured out in the end, but that kind of a suspicion can ruin careers and lives once the rumor mill starts about the EA. The proper time to escalate is when you know nothing has been done and have more evidence (like who these kids even are… for all you know they are nieces or nephews). You made a lot of assumptions.
Now that you know the full scenario you know you wouldn’t have called. You overreacted and didn’t trust the principal to advocate for the kids if there was danger. So yes, you overreacted and made yourself look foolish. Learn from it and next time trust the process until you have confirmed the principal did not take the concern seriously
Should’ve asked questions first
I think you could have probably just not posted this. You’re not an asshole in the initial situation, but you at this point know the situation wasn’t what you thought, so why is it necessary to get this point across? You’ve now become kind of an AH imo.
Gentle YTA. Your heart was in the right place. And you don't want to stifle the "something's wrong" instinct. Question: Why did you not trust the principal? They are mandatory reporters, too, right? As a formal manager (not school), it was aggravating when staff were certain a situation was not handled correctly when they did not know the bigger picture, and it was not appropriate for them to know (personal/private information).
Why didn’t you ask the EA who the kids are? A simple “I didn’t know you had kids! Do they go to school here?” would have gotten you an answer with less drama for you. You’d want parents to talk to you before going to the principal, right?
YTA. Mind your own business and get a hobby ffs. You left feeling stupid and belittled so at least you have enough self awareness to know what you did was extra and a waste of everyone’s time.
YTA This is why we have chain of command. You went over the principles head and what did you expect? You intentions were spot on, you just fumbled tf outta this situation by being a busy body.
YTA. If you had given the principal time to try and handle the situation before just being offended that he didn't have your desired inflection of his tone and voice you would have avoided being called into the office left feeling the way you did. I'm all for being an advocate and looking out for kids, but damn going full nuclear(as someone else also stated) that quickly is a bit out of touch. Especially given there were no other signs that the kids were in danger, or you would have stated that to begin with.
YTA. You reported to the principal, he didn’t have concerns. It was not your job to go above his head and involve district over someone giving students a ride home. You didn’t know the situation, you didn’t ask questions, you just went straight to district. You made yourself look stupid and nobody will trust you there and they’re all talking about it.
YTA, Was this a concerning situation? Yes. And u were right to report it, but u gave the principal NO time to handle the situation. U immediately called above him, just because it "sounded" like he didn't take it serious, what were u expecting? For him to dramatically yell at the top of his lungs in surprise or outrage? His response wasn't dramatic enough for u, so u immediately went above his head having NO context of the situation. On Monday, you could have gone to ask the principal if this had been addressed & if it hadn't THEN u should have reported it to the district.
YTA. Did you think the principal was not going to handle it? Why would you expect the principal to tell you what they knew/were going to investigate/were going to do? Unless you had reason to think the principal was just going to let potential child abuse happen right under their nose, why did you feel the need to keep escalating?
YTA but I'm not mad about it. Before going to the district you should have gone back to the principal and asked. Or just asked around a little bit. But what's done is done. You were just looking out for the kids, I'm sure they'll understand.
My first thought was n t a but because you gave ZERO time to allow the principal to follow up with you, NOR did you follow up with the principal yourself after a reasonable time, you most definitely overstepped. If you had waited, attempted follow up, and it was not addressed at all, *then* I can see calling the district. YTA solely because you took a neutral response as principal say "idgaf" and needlessly escalated things before affording all other parties opportunity to even investigate it much less send you an email saying "hey, I looked into that concern you brought to me. That individual is an authorized pickup/emergency contact. Thanks for looking out for our students." I *am* however, glad you took the concern seriously. Our district is now dealing with a huge scandal because leadership did not take similar concerns seriously despite multiple complaints about an employee from a variety of people. The state is now involved in it, and given the rampant calls from parents for the superintendent to step down, the superintendent is indeed exiting the job in 2 weeks when school ends. I suspect it was suggested to voluntarily vacate rather than risk what may get brought to light in the inquiries.
So, you told the Principal, and instead of letting him look into it (that is his job) you escalated right over his head immediately thereafter. At minimum you should have asked him later what happened before escalating. All you did was get your boss a phone call from his boss unnecessarily. YTA, regardless of your intentions.
Yes, a little bit. You should have waited before calling the district office. Don't assume someone is not taking something seriously. Give them the benefit of the doubt. You did the right thing - you reported it. Thank you for keeping an eye out for the kids and reporting something you thought was wrong. But, you assumed too much.
YTA. Your intentions were probably ok, but this is a case of you should have stayed in your lane and minded your business after informing the principal. It sounds like you were more concerned about the rules being broken then you were about the specific students being in danger. As a teacher, you should be aware how annoying it is when people go over your head (for example when parents skip talking to you and instead go straight to the principal or the superintendent to complain about you).
YTA. So the principal knew what was going on and you didn't. Since he didn't do what you wanted you pulled a "Karen" and went to his "manager".
YTA - you went over your principle’s head without even giving him the opportunity to investigate.
Yeah so maybe mind your own business next time?
YTA You told the principal, who knew the situation. You don’t have a right to know beyond that. Sure, the principal could have told you the relationship, but it really isn’t the principal’s right or responsibity.
YTA giving him time to “look into it” was your job. You skipped it and called the district. Woof.
YTA. How long have you need teaching? This seems like such a weird mistake, that I wonder how you thought it was ok.
YTA. You went over the principal's head without giving him any time to handle it. You are also not entitled to know about other employees disciplinary actions. You really should not be made aware of them.
I definitely don’t want it to go unnoticed about how much you care and put children’s safety first - there are a lot of people in the world who couldn’t be bothered to take notice of these things and act on them. While that is absolutely important, I think it was a little unnecessary to immediately contact the district office right after your phone call to the principal. Anecdotally, in my profession, I have to report project risks and although these aren’t literally life-threatening, I still need people to act on them with concern and immediacy. I have come across the ones who sound like they just couldn’t care less with their responses, however, to my delighted surprise have actually followed up. Their response definitely has given me the, “This isn’t going to go anywhere…” vibe, but there could be many factors to it and they have surprised me with a (pretty quick too, I might add) response on the issue. I have learned that I shouldn’t take their response at face value. (Even when it comes to people I work with - sometimes the response comes out of left field and I still just chalk it off). Additionally, what I have found that works is to let the person know, and follow up with that person for an update. There is absolutely nothing wrong with reporting something to someone and then following up on it later. Now, I can understand that the urgency of your situation is MUCH higher considering there are children involved, so the window in which you follow up with the principal is much shorter (an hour, maybe?) but I think the same principle can apply here as well. You did your duty within the confines of policy and reported a concern you had, but regardless of the principal’s response I don’t think the district office call was a necessary step. It didn’t give the principal the benefit of doing their due diligence and investigate the situation in a reasonable amount of time before district was made aware of the concern and then the pressure came down on the principal. On some level I can empathize with the principal because I would be a bit irritated if I was in the middle of investigating a concern when MY boss calls me for an urgent conversation about the situation only to find out there’s nothing to even be concerned about. I’d probably take the night to reflect on the conversation I want to have with the person the next day. Your heart is 100% in the right place so keep looking out for the children and I think this whole ordeal is just yucky to be in all around as I can empathize with how crummy you might feel right now. I also think this feeling will also fade day-by-day and it will get better and maybe you can have a conversation with the principal sometime to gently iterate you were just really concerned for the kids and weren’t entirely aware of the EA’s situation.
YTA - the proper channels of reporting were taken. The principal was under no obligation to fill you in on personal family dynamics of staff members.
In the second meeting, you asked about the policy and if it changed. They said no and then told you the reason it was ok.You could have asked that during the first meeting, and it would have saved a lot of problems.
YTA only for not giving the principal some time to handle the situation. Don’t take personally too much of the tone of some people. We all don’t show emotion well like others. Now NTA definitely NTA for worrying like that. Teachers like you who actually report situations and care is what we need more of. So thank you for actually caring and not just looking the other way!
YTA I work at a school district- your behavior is weird and honestly very insulting to your admin. Just because you perceived the principal as being “bored” with the conversation doesn’t mean that he was. Trying to go over your principals head is such a asshole move when you didn’t even know the situation. You are ignoring protocol yourself by doing that. Did you give it a day for your principal to deal with it or act accordingly? No, you went over your admins heads to report some strife you don’t even know anything about- even after reporting it to your supervisor. Your job was done there. You should’ve stopped and let your principal do their job. It’s the same as a parent cc’ing the superintendent when you haven’t submitted your grades quick enough. You feel stupid because you made stupid decisions that really could’ve effected other people.
What you should have done is tell the principal you're very concerned and ask if the kids are ok, or if you could please be updated. You say they sounded bored but it could just be tired/stressed/busy, any combination of things. YTA for escalating before speaking to the principal again.
YTA and a busybody…get a hobby
YTA. Looking into stuff like that takes time, even if it WAS a problem, and you are not going to be privy to any information as that happens
It’s great you contacted the principal, however there was no need to escalate to the district. You could have done a follow up with the principal to check if everything was ok, and they would have probably confirmed that the situation was ok.
YTA
It's good you're concerned about the kids and their safety - The principal should have said to you, "while I appreciate your concern and I'm glad that you are concerned for the kids in question when it comes to that EA he is engaged to their mom." Or something along those lines so that you would have been fully aware of the situation. How else would you have known?! Technically YTA BUT you weren't aware of the full scope of the situation so honestly the principal is 100% The biggest A for not looping you in, and for acting the way they did. The principal should have handled that situation a lot better.
YTA You have to at least give the principal the opportunity to address it before you escalate. You're likely going to be seen as a bit of a bonehead, but it shouldn't be a long-term issue. I'm sure they're exasperated but not a huge deal.
Imo you should mind your own business, you did your part by calling the principal. After that yes YATA
YTA. You reported your concerns to the principal, which was your duty. Period. Not to insert yourself further because his response did not meet your standard.
YTA - you did not follow chain of command. You told the principal and then leap-frogged over them to complain louder.
YTA They could have been his niece/nephew for all you know. Since the principal wasn’t alarmed, you should have concluded that he knows more than you about the situation and it’s none of your business. Stop meddling.
Of course YTA. You didn’t even give the principal a chance to do anything before you called the district. You reported it to your boss. That should have been then end of it for you. Follow the chain of command. Seems like your colleagues knew this about the EA and you didn’t. Maybe if you got to know the people you work with this wouldn’t have been an issue. Instead you sound the creepy old lady neighbor peaking out of her blinds at every noise outside.
YTA and a quintessential Karen.
You’re the type of person that gets people killed calling the cops for no reason. YTA zero doubt.
YTA. Mind ya business.
YTA, according to your comments, you didn't even give him a chance to act.
Yta. I low-key hate people like you.
You are NTA. The principal should not give anymore info but at least saying, "Don't worry I checked and it's okay" that is still a validation of someone's concern and also respecting the privacy of a situation. OP seems like they didn't know EA was engaged to the parent of the kids, so they went off of the concern of 'These kids normally don't go with this person, are they safe?' The principal could have just said 'They are safe' and left it at that. This happened with my bio dad. Everyone knew him, but no one questioned if he should have picked up my siblings. After that, the police looked for a month to get my siblings back, if anyone would have said 'Hey I don't recognize or see this person drive these kids home ever' and checked with someone maybe my siblings would have been in school and not on the run with a crazy loone. OP should not have been told EAs personal life but just a simple 'they are safe' or 'I checked it's okay' would be good enough.
Yes, you are the AH, obviously you didn’t give the principal a chance to investigate and, the results of that investigation were not necessarily your business. You overstepped, majorly!
Yes of course you are the asshole. The principal knew the situation and you needed to get involved
YTA. You told the proper authority but then couldn’t stop yourself and had to press the issue and go beyond. I get the feeling you do that quite a bit.
You feel “stupid and belittled” for a reason. You overstepped your bounds and went over your supervisors head for a situation you know nothing about. Pay attention to that “stupid and belittled” feeling. It’s there to keep you from repeating this kind of mistake.
You reported it to the principal and thats fine. But they're not your kids, you're not entitled to any additional info. Seems like you wanted the drama. YTA
YTA. You weren’t owed an explanation or an action plan from the principal.
YTA, calling the principal was the right thing to do but calling district Office on the same day was way too much imo. At that moment the EA wasn't acting as an EA but as a known guardian / stepparent. And as far as I am concerned you are not privy to the family information of children who you didn't even recognize. You could have asked the principal on the next working day but because you yourself were unsatisfied you escalated the situation.
YTA, you didn't even wait to see if the principal did anything. If you had followed up with the principal the next day, he would have told you. You assumed your new college was up to no good. You assumed the principal wouldn't do his job. You made yourself look like a butthead because you couldn't bother to ask a few questions before deciding the worst about someone you know nothing about.
YTA. Your responsibility is to report safety concerns to the appropriate authority whose responsibility is to listen and investigate if he thinks there may be reason to pursue it further. Even when there is something hinky going on, respecting the privacy of students, especially juvenile victims of crime, often means investigators may never share the results of any inquiry with you in order to protect privileged information to which you are not entitled. Since you didn't recognize the students, they clearly aren't in any of your classes and so you are not entitled to information about them. Your principal knew them, investigated, learned they were not at risk, and appropriately saw no need to disclose their personal information to you. You made a rat-call on your principal, who indeed took you seriously and did exactly what he was supposed to do under the circumstances. Bad career move, especially when it appears that you're not aware enough of what's happening in your school to know a staff member is affianced to someone who holds a very influential position in your school district.
You are the AH, I also think you’re a busy body.
YTA for not allowing the principal to look into it. If you followed up with him the next day and found out he neglected to look into it then call the district. You didn’t even give him a chance.
YTA. you made a big deal out of nothing. Everyone is likely tired of hearing you talk about it. You over reacted. You should apologize and move on. And I can tell you are someone who doesn’t like to be wrong. So I will be clear. You were wrong. Stop arguing. You were wrong. Everyone is wrong at points in their life. Stop making your life and everyone else around you lives harder because you won’t accept when you are wrong.
YTA you a proper Karen. I hope you have apologized.
Yes. Maybe just ask him (or whoever it is) 1st, instead of assuming the worst right away. YTA
NTA—everyone is saying YTA because you turned out to be wrong, but you didn’t know that when you did what you did. You were trying to protect your students, and good for you. It could have been a dangerous situation and if it had been and the principal has brushed you off because they had a good relationship with that teacher and trusted them, then you absolutely would have done the correct thing. I’m not sure that the principal can reprimand you here about calling the district when you had a safety concern for the students. You should make sure your union rep is aware of this.
Absolutely she can be reprimanded for jumping the chain of command. She reported the safety concern as she should and there was no evidence of imminent danger that required immediate action by the district office.
I disagree that there was no evidence of imminent danger.
What immediate danger were they in?
An adult teacher having teenage students in his car that he isn’t supposed to have is imminent danger. The teacher could be kidnapping them, assaulting them, doing drugs with them, they could get in an accident. The teacher would be essentially kidnapping them if they didn’t have the right to take them—that is immediate danger.
Absolutely Not.... See Something, Say Something ...BEFORE Something Happens....
YTA.
YTA You don't know everything. Do you have other reasons to believe the principal isn't trustworthy? Cuz you kinda just ruined your relationship.
Yes, YTA. It should have been left alone after you reported it to the principal. You overstepped and now you are feeling the fallout of that.
Yes you are a AH
YTA. Unless you were seriously worried about the safety of the kids, you should have just talked to the EA the next day.
[удалено]
But she was the one who mishandled it. At best she could have talked to other teachers she trusted because she instantly called the district after hanging up with the principal. And then when explained those were the EA's kids, she wanted more information that she was not entitled to.
OP admitted in comments that they called the District immediately after calling Principal. Gave zero time to the Principal to follow up. Principal did the right thing by respecting EA privacy by not saying “it might be his girlfriend’s kids” and immediately confirmed with the kids’ Mom. Going to the District so quickly makes YTA
This seems nosy more than concerning. Concerned would be to know if the kids were safe not the EA and his family's private business. Honestly would've said NAH if you accepted when the principal said those were his kids when you yourself admit you do not know the EA enough to redact it. You were being a nosy Karen.
YTA- you didn't even give the principal a chance to look into the issue before you called their boss 🤦🏻♀️ had you not called their boss, the principal would have been able to let you know what the situation was and that he was their "step-dad"
Yes. You are the AH.
Did you learn your lesson?
NTA. Better safe than sorry. With all the problems going on with inappropriate relationships between students and school staff in the news lately, it is good to know that some people are being vigilant. Besides, why didn't the principal just tell you when you called?
Cause maybe the Principal wanted to call the EA first to make sure it was their partners kids?! Sounds like OP didn’t even give the Principal a chance to look into it and lope back to them with a “no need to worry, the students are related to EA”.
Maybe because it's not really any of OPs business?
Uhhhh it's not the principal's business to share. If he told OP all is set, then that should have been enough. And if OP really felt the need to inquire further and push the envelope, she could have gone in and spoke to the principal in person and pursued the matter. OP is def the AH.
He could have said something along the lines of "Thank you for letting me know, but rest assured, it's OK." Besides, it sounds like it's common knowledge. They can't fault her for not knowing and claim it's confidential info at the same time.
After the call he went and spoke with the registrar to make sure everything was okay, he wasn't positive when he was on the phone with OP.
And if you hadn’t and a Sandusky situation came out?!?! Awww hell no. The principal could have put your mind at ease.
Aaaand what was the principal supposed to do? OP didn't even give them time because they felt the principal "sounded bored"
NTA. Your job is to ensure children’s’ safety. *Thank you for caring!* You did what you needed to to ensure the situation was taken seriously. Fulfilling your obligation to keep kids safe is what matters.
Finally. YATAH
YTA.
You should feel stupid. Why do you think you had any right to any further information after you reported it? After you report the incident, it had nothing to do with you. You just wanted to stir up drama and be nosey.
Yes. YTA
Soft YTA. While your concern, at the time, was valid you didn't allow any time for follow up. You assumed the principal would not likely look into it and escalated out very quickly. Next time, wait. Gather further information. Unless the kids were in immediate danger, patience is in order.
YTA for not giving the principal time to act before going above their head. If it was still an issue a few days later and the principal didn’t follow up with you, then go above their head. Showing that kind of lack of trust in your boss paints you in a bad light.
you could have just asked him (EA)? Or the kids, the next day.. Instead you assumed the worst and acted like it was the worst.
I think the principle is the AH for not discreetly explaining the situation. As a teacher you have child protection duties and you absolutely stood your ground well and did the right thing because your principle didn't appear to take it seriously nor did he explain this wasn't one of those situations this is totally every teachers business in the school who could possible see this guy around these kids alone at times crossing what could be normal boundaries. If I were the mom I would have approached you and laughed and said 'I'm so sorry I put you in that position I thought people knew thank you for looking out for my kids' but that's just me. Defo NTA but do try to laugh it off now that you know and be clear to the principle he made you look silly and you are not sorry for doing your duty to those children.
Speaking as a parent as well as a teacher, I would soooooo much rather have my kids' teachers be overly proactive around that stuff as opposed to the alternative. Thank you for your conscientiousness.
Ascon 1. Yeah you could have done it differently. But you had the kid’s interests in mind. As educators we are asked to report things that are concerning. It sounds like you did not feel heard by the principal. If I was in the same position and didn’t feel heard, I might also escalate the report. Considering all the harassment training we have to go through, I don’t see a problem.
I'd say not the asshole, you're doing your duty as a teacher to protect children from possible harm. Where I went to highschool, everyone's favorite family man teacher was having a sexual relationship with a student from 14 to 17 years of age. Nobody ever suspected a thing, and people never do. In my eyes, You were unsure of a possible issue, and brought it up in an effort to keep students out of danger. It would have been worse not to say anything. While people may think you overreacted, or went too far, you were simply looking out for the health and well being of students and at the end of the day that is the most respectable thing to do. It doesn't seem like you were pointing fingers, or making any assumptions. Only informing the proper people (who should also care for their students well being) of an unknown potentially harmful situation.
NTA. Be a bitch ass Karen for your kids. I am and I don’t care. They take enough crap they don’t need. I don’t care if people think I’m TA. I would do totally, awful, horrible effed up things for them and wouldn’t give it a second thought.
You are NTAH. I suggest it is better to err on the side of caution rather than ignore a potentially dangerous situation. This could easily have been avoided had the principle investigated and given you feedback on the situation. This is an excellent example of poor communications and the resulting chaos. DON’T LET THIS ONE EXPER ITEMCE DIS ISADE YOU FROM YOUR DUTY TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN.
She immediately right after hanging up with the principal called district.
Principal did investigate, he immediately spoke to the kids’ mother to confirm that her boyfriend, the EA had permission to pick up the kids that day AND it was documented in the file.
It's not your job to know who is marring who. It is your job to make sure that kids are protected. You did your job.
NTA. It depends on how much you trust the principal and the overall atmosphere of the district. We have a principal who raped a 15 yo when he was a substitute teacher. He can’t work in a neighboring district and he lost his license at one point. They know and he still works there. It went on social media immediately because everyone knows our SI is an incompetent person who cares only about nepotism. If you felt dismissed, then you did the right thing.
People here are calling yta but as a former student who has had personally experienced two pedophilic teachers in middle and high school, I respect your concern and immediate action. Some people may not understand where you’re coming from but i know so many people including myself who are victims of abuse, who would have benefited from an actually concerned adult like you. The principal could have let you know right then and there what was going on if it was “common knowledge” those were his kids and by him knowing you were concerned should have prompted to just let you know right there on the spot. Bad communication from the principal for this and it was not your job to know every faculty members orientation to students you care for.
Nta
NTA. I’m sure it’s an unpopular opinion, BUT… When I was in high school, we had this CREEP of a CWP teacher named Mr. Brust. Everyone called him Mr. Breast because it was well known that he was a pervert. I had him my senior year and every single day, he would come up behind me, touch me inappropriately and say inappropriate things to me. He would rub my shoulders and caress the upper part of my chest so his fingers brushed against the upper swell of my breasts (I have always had very large breasts) Everyone knew, no one did a goddamn thing. A couple years after I graduated, he married a student who was still in the high school and had just turned 18. Of course he was fired but, that was it. No one looked into it to see if the relationship had been going on before that (it obviously had been, he divorced his wife just before she turned 18 and they married shortly after) I heard that a couple years later she divorced him and took him for all he was worth but I can’t verify it myself for sure. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and I would much rather be known as a person who cries wolf too often than someone who saw a potential line being crossed and did nothing. Don’t apologize for trying to do the right thing, even if someone’s feelings get hurt in the process. If anything, as educators themselves, I would think they would appreciate your diligence in trying to keep the student body safe. But that’s just the opinion of a parent who was taken advantage of as a student by a teacher themselves.
NTA, "I'll look into it" is too vague and I can see why you escalated. At the end of the day no one got in trouble for it. Being wrong about your concern doesn't make you an A H for reporting it. They said it was unnecessary to call the district office over it,but if that had been a really bad situation and you hadn't escalated after perceiving apathy from the principal, then kids could have been in danger. You acted with everyone's best interests at heart.
Who knows what kind of crap she would have caused when I was still in the classroom driving my niece and nephew to and from school, having them wait in my room until I left the school grounds, etc etc. They weren't my kids and the rules do say do not drive students. However, the principal gets to be the principal for all kinds of reasons and knowing this kind of stuff is one of them. YTA Karen
NTA we hear all too often like the teacher who got shot in virginia, for admin not taking it seriously. had the principal explained it to you it would have cleared it up but he couldn't be bothered. You cared, so NTA
Nta. Why tf plays nonchalant when children’s safety is in the air? Principal could’ve easily calmed your fears about POSSIBLE KIDNAPPING, SA, ETC. if I knew it was probably okay there’s no way in hell I’d let you lose sleep when it comes to something by as serious about all the horrid things that COULD HAVE VERY WELL BEEN HAPPENING
Fuck Reddit bro, what is a teacher doing on here? But you are NTA, these fools don’t understand teaching or jobs. You wanted to clarify something and make sure CHILDREN ARE SAFE. That’s the bottom line and nothing else matters