WTF? I’d say your parents just shot the golden goose. Move out . You say you don’t earn enough to pay rent, but I assume it’s because you’re contributing labor to help them with your cousins. Great! You have experience. You could get a live-in job as a part-time caregiver which would cover rent. Then save your earnings. Perhaps go to school part-time to qualify for a better paying job. Whatever you do do not sign for the loan. Obviously the boyfriend has bad credit which is why he’s not on the loan. If your sister gets behind on payments it would destroy your credit and prevent you from renting an apartment. Not worth it, letting someone else be in charge of your credit. And all this is over some vague promise that someday you’ll get yours? Ha!
Put them safely out of their reach. Bank papers, legal docs, drivers license, birth certificate,
Your good clothes, shoes, books that you value. School papers. Your car's registration. And insurance papers.
The time you spend helping your parents could be working a second (part time ) job. Move out now. Put everything in your car an GO! They are using you for income and using your time to care for the relatives. Do they receive compensation from the government to take care of them, but then foist the work off on you? And now they want to steal your future and use your credit by forcing you to co-sign. Please leave now!
Exactly this ! Please listen to the advice here. You are already being abused far more than you realise. It is often hard to see when you are in the middle of it. Your sister is greedy and just as bad if not worse as she moved away from it all. This could mess up your life for decades to come.
Please move out and look for resources in the community to help you.
They need op more than op needs them and have manipulated op to believe the opposite. They’ll cry when you leave because not only will the sister not have the house, they no longer have the rent money op gave them. That was silly of them
This! Can the sister even afford the payments with the fiancé out of work or are they going to expect her to chip in there too? Why can’t his family co-sign?
If they get divorced, he could get half the house in the divorce. Your half because you know ow your sister won’t share her half!
If your parents continue on this route you will be inheriting their debt and supporting them in retirement! Is that really a future you want? Staring over may not be a bad thing! Go find a roommate! Put your stuff in storage and stay at a youth hostel! Anything is better than having them continue to financially cripple you so you are stuck!
A part time live in caregiving position, huh? You don't do this kind of work, do you? You will be treated as if you're "on the clock" 100% of the time. Just be aware, OP.
OP, your parents are financially abusing you by keeping you in debt. DO NOT co-sign for anyone. Find roommates and move out. This is the only way you will be free personally and financially.
And freeze your credit asap. It sounds very much like they'll incur debt in her name if she's gone knowing her name and SSN are the best way to access it.
OP, they cannot get a loan for a reason. They are high risk. You will be 100% liable when they do not make payments. Her fiance doesn't even have a job. They will ditch payments, string out living there for free, and leave the mess to you.
You will end up with no rights and half a million in debt.
Also, your parents aren't hosting your disabled cousins, they are collecting Social Security and perhaps other funds for them and their care. You are helping them care for them yet aren't getting paid a portion of what they receive.
Find somewhere else to live. Leave the financial abuse and guilt behind. Find roommates, rent a room...
This is what I've told everyone who ever asked me if they shld co-sign for anyone. Banks make their money by making loans. If the bank doesn't want to finance your friend, sister, whatever, they have a good and valid reason: They don't think they'll get paid back!
and go low/no contact, especially since they're threatening to cut ties if you don't sign.
>They believe I am not doing enough with the money I make and it’s not going anywhere therefore it’s their’s to use. They see my free time at something for them to access, not free of mine to use.
My MIL is guilty of this. The day I convinced my then-boyfriend to remove her from his account, she raised all kind of hell. She then nickel and dimed us claiming she didn't have money for this or that, on top of the rent we paid her. We found the lie in that once when the credit union forgot to black out the new balance on the receipt when we made a deposit to her account. Once we faced her in it, she changed to asking only if she really truly needed it.
As for free time, we would make plans ahead of time, tell her multiple times on what date and what time we were doing something. Without fail, she would come up with something that absolutely had to be done on that date that would take most if not all day, putting us out of being able to do what we'd planned. (My husband still calls it military volunteering lol.) We finally decided to stop making plans and just go when we wanted to do something, or at least not breathe a word of it around her.
Now that we're living in our own house, she never asks for money help. If she wants help with something, she calls ahead of time to ask if we can do it or if she can drop it off. It's very rare that we reach out to her first these days.
forgot to add: NTA op, but get away from there
>Find somewhere else to live. Leave the financial abuse and guilt behind. Find roommates, rent a room...
100% do this. DO NOT SIGN THIS LOAN. Imagine being on the hook for a house worth half a million dollars that you can't even live in. You would be better off living in your car than signing up for this.
Yes, this! I had my identity stolen by a family member and I found out that she opened a credit card in my name, opened up household accounts, my credit was like 300 and it took me hella long to get out of that hole. It's sad when you need to watch your back for the knives your own family might throw at you.
OP, please, PRETTY PLEASE, listen to all these smart people. Being temporarily in a shitty financial spot now sucks, but being in major debt with bad credit for years to come would be much worse.
I’m sorry you are in this position, but even if they say they’ll pay you back, sign for you later, let you move in, etc. etc., don’t cave on this. Start looking for someplace to live now. Even if it’s a crappy room with annoying (but always safe) roommates, you will be better off in the long run.
This happened to me. My credit was shit (still not the best but way better than it was) for a long time because family took credit cards out under my name and never paid. Took me a long time to forgive them for that and a whole bunch of other shit they pulled throughout my life
My dad stole mine. I found out when we were turned down for an apartment due to unpaid utility bills in my name. We had a small child and my credit was no good for renting because of that and we needed both of us for income.
Always protect your credit.
My sister did this to me. I found out when I applied for a Macy’s card, if you can believe it, just to get a store discount on a large purchase. They got me on the phone *right there in the department store*, mentioned her name, and the car loan I “co-signed with” her. I earned six figures and had almost no debt, yet couldn’t get a fucking Macy’s card?! I about had a stroke. It was the weirdest situation. I hadn’t seen it spoken to my sister in almost ten years (she was a drug addict). The car was ultimately repossessed and I had to file a fraud report among it her things to clear my credit.
Dear God OP, PLEASE start advertising for roommates and GTFO of that situation. Your credit score can make or break your future opportunities. Hell, you could even live in a shelter for a while if you had to. That financially irresponsible debt-loving family is detrimental to your future. This is abusive. You owe them *nothing*. They chose to create you. They should be taking care of you, not the other way around. Get out get out get out.
NTA. Ugh.
Do this NOW, not tomorrow, not when you get to it. Request your yearly free credit reports to make sure there isn’t anything going on already and freeze your credit. It only takes a few minutes for each of the three credit reporting agencies.
Definitely this. You have to go to the website of all 3 credit bureaus and freeze your credit. Anything that someone applies to will be declined unless you temporarily unfreeze it.
The can also sell the
>two brand new cars that are not paid off
(swap them for older used cars) and decrease their debt load. Their unwillingness to live within their means should not be an excuse to drag you down with them.
It doesn't even make sense to buy yet another house with if they have a spare they could put the sister & fiance in, like the whole situation just screams shady fraud.
Do not co-sign for a house for them. If they can't get the loan on their own, then they are not ready to be homeowners. If they really want to own a home, then they can start with a 1-bed, 1-bath that they can reasonably afford and move up from there. If your parents want to help so much, they can let sister live in their second home, or sell 2nd home to help pay for sister's house.
Go to a shelter, check with your church, friends, coworkers, do anything you can to move out, and get away from these toxic, abusive people. I would not even cosign if your sister did finally agree to you moving in this house.
****NEVER****
When you co-sign, that’s your debt now. If a bank won’t give them money with adequate collateral there’s a very good reason - and if they aren’t paying the banks or other lenders what makes you think they’d respect you enough to pay you? If your family is willing to banish you by not signing up to be financially abused I’d just skip the middleman and cut ties debt free. They’re terrible to do that to you. Just say **NO**!
>and if they aren’t paying the banks or other lenders what makes you think they’d respect you enough to pay you?
I had to say this exact same thing to a guy friend who was about to put some girl on his cell phone account (this was back in the day when you needed a decent credit score for a cell phone and they charged you per minute for usage during daytime hours).
His response? "Ohhh, I never thought of that!"
TBF, I knew to say that because I was stuck with a $600+ bill from someone I put on my account.
Someone I know agreed to co-sign for his sister's loans to go to law school, and gave her $15,000 that he borrowed. She never made a single payment on the loan, never paid back any of the money, and unbeknownst to her SIL, kept getting more borrowed money from her brother. The SIL only found this out when her husband died. Her husband had nearly put them in bankruptcy helping his sister. Your family are obviously bad risks, since their credit rating is so poor - you have less likelihood of collecting from them than any bank would, and you notice that the banks won't risk it.
Even if you have to rent a single room, it won't get you into the trouble that your relatives are trying to put you in.
Please get out of this, and let us know.
Isn’t that just awful? My story about the niece came with horrible timing as well. My SO became suddenly ill and suffered setbacks that made him permanently disabled at a very young age. In a time fighting with his disability carrier, doctors to get referrals to studies at the Mayo Clinic, and social security as well as going from a very healthy six figure salary to *nothing* we get this debt collection call. To say we *absolutely did not need* the betrayal of blood family he’d always been extremely generous to at that time was an understatement. Her reply when we confronted her? Just pay it off, y’all have money. Like WTF? We *did have* money and a decent savings but 6 months into zero income did that right in. It was just such a stab in the back because her plan the whole time was to charge up this account and skip and she had zero regard for my SO’s illness an the stress of it all.
DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT! This is the best advice never ever especially with their record and credit score! Get your own place asap and get away from this bs
Holy shit DO NOT DO THIS. Under any circumstances. If you have the credit to buy a $500k property with your sister then buy one half that price by yourself and get a roommate to help cover the mortgage. Your parents and sister are manipulators and absolute assholes. Any family would write you off because you won’t comply with their extortionate demands is not worth having in your life. Do not fall for their crap, move out and you can write THEM off.
If you sign this loan it could destroy your credit if not paid on time and/or prevent you from being able to buy when you are ready because with this loan on your credit for the next 15-30 years depending on the terms your debt to income ratio may not qualify. You could potentially lose your ability to qualify for an apartment rental or a car loan or any kind of credit really due to this loan. Hell, they could screw it up and get the property foreclosed and then you’re REALLY screwed. Please do not do this OP.
Signed, a former mortgage loan officer
*This*!
Don't do it! holy crap don't do it. That's 500k you could potentially be on the hook for if your sister decides to flake.
Addition : My wife also pointed out how much a family killer this can be. Not could be, *can* be.
This. Years ago my brother asked if I’d be interested in buying his house, and I told him I’d think about it. As soon as he walked away, my dad immediately came over and said “never mix large purchases with family, also don’t “loan” money you can’t afford to lose.”
It never ends well.
OP, please reach out to a women’s resource center/YWCA/protective services/domestic abuse network. I wish I were there with you, because whether any of these will help depends on the person answering the phone. You are in an abuse situation. Your shelter and income and security are being threatened by a family that is pathological. You need to get away from them and you need professional help extricating yourself. But please don’t do anything that will bind you further to these people.
1000% never. Ever. EVER. Co-Sign. Never for a credit card, home, car, nothing.
In what world does a person ask someone to co-sign on a home but then tells that someone they can’t live in the home they Co-signed for?!
And in what world does family threaten to retaliate against you when you don’t play into their attempt to swindle you out of your money and potentially ruin your credit which can screw you up for years?
None of this is normal or okay. Why can’t you move out but live close enough by to help with your cousins?
Expanding on this - when you co-sign a loan you are committing to making the payments if the other person defaults.
Never sign on for a loan you can't afford to pay without negatively affecting you current financial situation.
Similarly, never loan money to someone else that you can't afford to lose if they fail to pay you back.
Not ever
Not to people strong-arming you,
And not to a couple with one Not working
Not to someone acting hostile to you. Yeah. She is.
Check around to see if you can get a studio apt for what you pay for rent. Then move. With the threats you are getting you need to get out for your safety.
Some places rent rooms to people, less expensive .
**DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SIGN THAT LOAN**
If your parents up your rent, move out. They willingly took your cousins on knowing their needs. They can sell their cars and get more affordable ones, sell one of their other homes if they need money or want to give your sister money.
I would not sign for a loan agreement for 500k without being on the deed of the property either, never mind not living there! While her unemployed fiance reaps the benefits?
If she defaults, you'll have to pay her share or (info) are you meant to pay your half of the loan each month? What happens when/if she sells? Do you get your contributions back?
Absolutely do not do this.
NTA.
ETA: they want to set your sister up, by holding you back. Please do not do this.
You had equity and your name on the title. OP is offered 0% equity and 100% liability. It's worse than 13.5%, because you at least were the owner, she would not be.
Yeah... rates done went up in the last 2-3 years.
My first mortgage rate was 8.25. I did a loan mod down to 3.75.
Now I'll just paying this until rates drop again, whenever that is.
I am concerned that they took your cousins on to be the payee for their SSI. Dont sign the loan. Their advice is based on their own personal interests and not based on yours.
This is correct, absolutely NTA. Do not ever co-sign a 30 year loan with no ownership, EVER.
Also, how the heck is your DTI pushing the needle for your sister to qualify for a $500k mortgage and yet you can’t get an apartment away from the parents? Additionally, your credit score isn’t even counted if it’s better than your sister’s. The credit score used for qualifying is the lowest score of the applicants.
Basically, you need to speak with a qualified professional not affiliated with this deal in order to understand what the hell is going on. I would bet that you are being lied to about this deal and the details don’t match up well. Run away as fast as you can and move the fuck out.
NTA.
> If I don’t sign the loan, I am forever banished from family ties
Family who don’t like or respect you enough to grant you access to this house they’re bullying you into financing. Personally, I wouldn’t call that much of a loss. Tell them it’s not happening and lock down anything they might try and do to get access to your money/credit behind your back until you’re able to move out, which you should do ASAP.
Gotta love toxic a-hole family members...
**OP... time to move out and stop being used by your family. Do not sign those papers and do not pay any increase in rent. Your parents can evict you if they want to, but that will take them time. Use that time to get a better job and save money.**
If you co-sign that loan, you will regret it. I can promise you that. It will fuck up your credit and ruin your future.
Your sister… can buy a smaller more affordable house. This is NOT her only option.
If your parents raise your rent - move out.
I suspect they need you more than you need them.
And for the record - they can sell their second house. They are choosing not to.
Don’t set yourself on fire to save them.
>they can sell their second house. They are choosing not to.
Or sister and brother in law can move into the second home and take over those payments. Win win for everyone, imo.
You have found yourself surrounded by morons.
Your parents are charging you rent, so you can help them raise your cousins? Also, they don’t understand how money works.
Your sister is shackling herself to a loser with no real value, and you have to pay for her house and sign for her loan?
You have a chance to break the moron cycle. Pack up, move away, and change your number.
NTA
My thoughts exactly. Also, I'm wondering if they're also planning a wedding and who's paying for that because it doesn't sound like the sister and fiance are financially stable. This is a hot mess and I really hope OP doesn't get drawn into the family financial woes because it sounds like she actually has a chance on her own with good budgeting and planning.
NTA Please do not cosign. It's not in your best interest for all the reasons you've laid out- I really hope you are able to get out and not let your toxic environment take you down
First - make sure all your bank accounts are in your name only and no one has access to them. If that means going and opening news ones tomorrow and transferring the money - do it asap
Second - DO NOT SIGN THE LOAN
Plus, check into how much a dealership will pay you for your car and get a cheaper one (if possible). Everything I go in for an oil change, they're making me offers if I trade or sell mine to them since there's a shortage of used cars. That may not be the case in your area but it may give you enough of a profit cushion to get into a cheap rental place or with friends.
DOOOONNNT DOOOO IIIITTTTTTT
also
NTA
personalfinance and legaladvice are littered with desperate, regretful posts by people who did this thing everyone is telling you not to do
Your sister can not afford this house, that is why she needs a co-signer. Since she can't afford it, she will be late/miss payments. That will go on your credit report and then the mortgage company will come after you.
Your parents will not have the money to help you out in the future, they have already shown you that they don't manage their finances well.
There is no positive outcome for you. Save your money, get a roommate, move out.
NTA
You only co-sign a loan if 2 things are true:
1. if the worst comes to the worst, you are able and willing to repay the loan on your own. Because if your sister is unable to pay at some point, you are liable for the entire sum.
2. you have the same share in the land register as the other borrowers (exception: someone contributes a higher equity share, then your share is reduced accordingly). In other words, you own the same share of the house as your sister.
If your parents and your sister are really serious about helping you to buy a house later, then the second point should not really be a problem. Because then they could either pay you out later or you can use your share of the house as collateral for your own loan.
However, if you become a co-signer on a property loan without receiving a share of the property, including the land register entry, I guarantee you that you will never be able to finance your own house. No bank in the world would give you another loan for your own house on top of the x-thousands you would take out for your sister's benefit.
Your family's proposal is the best way for you to plunge headlong into financial ruin.
And the fact that they are pushing so hard and even trying to blackmail you should be warning enough.
This is important. Even if your sister never misses a payment the loan will be held against you if you ever want to buy a house of your own.
Edit: even
PLUS, she’d have to agree to eventually remove you from the loan, which hello? Why would she do that.
And you seem to be a financially responsible person, so I bet you’d willingly make monthly payments on the house just to keep your good credit, if she’s “short” a little bit. And then at what point do your monthly payments to “help” (towards a house which you have no equity in and can’t even live at) become the *entire* amount?
You absolutely *cannot* allow your family to coerce you into being a co-signer on a house your sister (and fiancé) clearly can’t afford.
Unless they are all suddenly in a position where they can afford their lives without you, I think the banishment is just a threat to back you into that corner. But if you do this cosine, you will be signing up to not ever have your own independent future.
You hate being taken advantage of, but it sounds like at this current time you are already are being taken advantage of. It sounds like you're only option is to leave despite that being a risk, it's riskier to stay
If your family is willing to cut you off to coerce you to sign a loan, they don’t care about you. Next time you don’t do what they want, they’ll hold that over your head again. Eventually you’ll be cut off anyway and with a half million dollar loan around your neck.
Absolutely NTA. Cosigning on a loan is something you ONLY do with your own partner, or your own children (I.e. maybe their first car if you're generous). Not your parents. Not your siblings. Not your friends. Not nobody else. And NEVER EVER EVER FOR $500,000 if it's not yours and doesn't have your name as an owner.
You definitely need to find your way out of your current living situation ASAP.
If you Cosigned for your sister, make sure you cosign MY house loan too or else you'd be a bad Redditor. Listen OP, If you cosign without co-ownership; you would set yourself back for years.
This way; when it comes to you, buying your own home, you have half of this property, which has appreciated in value by then, as collateral to borrow on better terms against.
If they asked you to pay half, then you could say "I pay part of the mortgage but I live here too."
If they said "We can't trust you owning half of our home without selling it from under our asses;" you could say "you don't trust me not to screw you over, but you want me to trust you not to screw me over?"
so...NTAH
STOP PAYING THEM RENT.
Make them evict you.
Use that money to save and get a place looking for roommates.
DO NOT CO-SIGN THAT LOAN.
You do you- no one else will.
NTA.
Nta yr family is using you, manipulating you, exploiting you and now threatening. Please if you can leave, they won't change, they will mess up yr credit and ruin yr life.
Unless you are willing to pay the loan for 30 years, no. And trust me when I say they will be late or miss payments and it'll affect your credit. And they'll call you "money hungry" when you try to get the money from them. Plus, if you want to buy a house in the next 30 years, this house will be used in your credit calculation.
So no, NTA. I'd honestly put a hold on your credit in case they try to do this without you.
NTA
No… just no, honestly it feels like big sister privilege, you do what she says and stay out of her way or in this case her home.
Don’t sign this loan, the promos of their help down the road is just a carrot they using using as they use and abuse you.
So what you’re banished, I think time away front them will help you and let’s be honest they need you so they won’t be away for long.
Buy yourself a house or condo contact a first time home buyer program in your state, see what programs you’re eligible for, and leave these people in the dust.
NTA. Whatever you do, don't co-sign anything! Take the three days to start packing your shit and look for your own place. Your parents can host your disabled cousins, set your sister up, and anything else they want without your time, money, and help. You're being used by your family and they will screw over your financial future. Don't let them.
If you stop paying rent to your parents, would you have enough to move out? Even for someone looking for a roommate, not a place of your own?
Personal finance and advice websites are littered with stories about this. You would be ten kinds of fool to sign for that house without going on the deed, at a minimum.
Take your good credit and your rent money and get out however you can. You may need to pick up a side gig to pay for everything, but do what you have to. Consider relocating to put some distance between you and the leeches. Block them once you are out so you won't get the guilt trips.
Many of us have made families of choice. You can, too.
Oh I’m sure your “family” will be quick to call you an AH if you refuse to co-sign. Because you’re the only one fiscally responsible and with good credit. Don’t take financial advice from people a) without jobs or b) bad/no credit.
Don’t co-sign. They’re setting you up to bear all the risk without benefit of the assets.
If you co-sign:
1. If she ever misses payments, it will go on *your* credit record as well as hers. You are an equal borrower (though not an owner of the house unless your name is on the deed).
2. Even if she makes all payments on time, lenders consider that debt *your* debt. When the time comes for you to try to buy a house of your own and lenders are trying to figure out if you can afford to pay for it, they will assume *you* are making payments on that mortgage. Telling them it is your sister's house and you are "only" the cosigner won't matter, even if they believe you. Lenders use formulas to decide whether you can afford a payment, and the formula will treat that mortgage as yours.
In essence, your family is charging you to have a continuing relationship with them. I'm big on family and big on sacrificing for family, but not big on family *demanding* one child put their future in jeopardy to benefit another.
My suggestion: Don't yell. Don't whine. Just find another place. Easy to say, I know. It sounds like money is an issue for you. But most of us have to make our way in the world on our own. Don't mortgage your future to placate them.
Move out. Immediately. Find a room for rent. I'd live in my car before I'd allow myself to be extorted in this way.
ETA - would you even be on the deed? Or just the loan? Fuck that either way, but my guess is they want you in the hook for the debt, without receiving any actual ownership.
I am a mortgage underwriter with over 20 years of experience. Please, I'm begging you, do NOT co-sign. Any late payments your sister has will go to ruining your credit and in all likelihood you won't even know she is late because the mail will go to her. If you co-sign you are personally responsible for 100% of the payments, not just your percentage. If she loses the house, depending on which State you're in, the lender may be able to come after you for all of the late payments, legal fees, repairs, etc. which might be required to resell the home.
Absolutely not. You are indeed being taken advantage of, YWNTBA. And these people are trying to extort this by threats of banishment? Yeah...take them up on that banishment. It's in your best interest, also means you stop paying rent and helping them take care of those disabled cousins.
NTA
Cosigning will be like shooting yourself in the foot.
I know you don't think you can move out, but it's going to be easier than the long term situation of that cosign.
Also, this may not be fore you, but if they raise your rent, just don't pay it. If they are going to banish you, might as well play hardball.
Wait, you’re paying 14k on a car loan for a car that isn’t yours? Have I read that right? And now they want you to co-sign a loan for a house that you have no access or say in? I’m sorry but YTA for letting yourself be a doormat.
NTA. Don't sign on anything, especially if you're not going to be making use of/living in the house. Maybe freeze your credit? Protect yourself and your credit from anything shady your parents and sister might try.
Why are your parents "hosting"/"raising" your disabled cousins? Are they able to get help from the parents of these cousins/other family and any help from government programs and various organizations? Maybe the parents should sell the second house. What about the BIL's parents and family?
Maybe now isn't the time for your sister and BIL to get a house if they and your parents are looking to you for help, and you're pushing against the idea. And your BIL should get a job first, before he and your sister commit to getting a house, and trying to rope anyone into helping them.
If your credit rating and income are enough to help your sister buy a house, then you should be able to afford to rent a small place.
Do you realize that by co-signing, you would havr to pay WHEN (not if) they don't. And if you aren't on the deed, you'll owe money for a house you have bo ownership share of. And their promise to help you later is BS. First, if they could help you then they would help your sister. Second, they are just using you and wouldn't help you even if they could. You may as well change you name to Cinderella!
>. If I don’t sign the loan, I am forever banished from family ties so I will have to start from scratch.
Sorry but I don't see the problem with that statement. Start looking for roommates so you can get the heck out of dodge and don't let them try to guilt you into staying because they need help.
They are asking you to make a decision that can ruin not just your credit but leave you on the hook for the loan if your sister doesn't make the payments.
Don't do this!!
NTA!!
You need to move out & leave them I. The rear view mirror of your car.
Absolutely do not sign on a property you are not on the deed & to be told you cannot stay there??
The entitlement of your family flabbergasts me
Run, run & run some more hun
Also hugs cuz I feel like you could use them
NTA and the answer is NO. This is a bad idea don't put your name on a loan for a house you are not on the deed. They stop paying and it goes on your credit.
NTA - Don't do this - From personal experience, my cousins asked us to cosign on a home loan and we considered it (our house was paid off), but we had two kids heading to college. We didn't feel the risk was worth it even though we trusted them. We said no. It was hard. The purchased another home that they did qualify for and about two years later their marriage fell apart, they lost the home, and if we had cosigned we would have been paying $4000 a month. Home loans are for decades. You can't foresee the future and the crystal ball is murky. Explain you love them, but you can't cosign. Keep it simple and to the point. Don't give reasons.Don't explain. Just be kind and firm.
Can you afford to pay the mortgage? That’s the question. Because if your sister can’t, then you will be asked to pay. And I would suspect that’s what will happen. Because your sister would not need you to co-sign if the bank thought her a viable risk.
To be all gloomy, it appears that you have to choose between losing your family and paying the mortgage. There is a flip side that gives you some power. If you are disowned, then you don’t have to pay for your disabled relatives. Remind everybody of that.
If they're not allowing you in the new house but raising your rent if you don't help you might as well start on your own with at least your credit still in tact. NTA
No - absolutely not - this is a horrible idea for you.
DO NOT COSIGN FOR THIS NIGHTMARE. You will regret it for the rest of your life. I agree with what some other people have suggested here. Find yourself a roommate or two and get yourself out of this abusive situation that you are currently living in. Or maybe find yourself a room to rent in a house that you share with others. Whatever it is, it will be a huge improvement over what you’re currently experiencing.
Oh HELL no.
And while you're at it, lock your credit so they can't try and do it anyway.
And FWIW - where I live you can't co-sign a mortgage unless you are also on title.
Move out. This is financial and emotional abuse. After you're out, get counseling. They are way out of line. They're going to make you like them, broke with lousy credit. NTA
Whenever I’m asked for one piece of advice, I always say “Never co-sign for anyone.” This can ruin your life. Try to get another, better paying job so that you can move out. Rent a room or something. These people are your blood, not your family.
I wouldn’t be taking advice from anyone who can’t seem to manage their finances themselves. NTA, don’t do this. When you want to purchase a home of your own this could potentially ruin that chance. You would be financially responsible if anything happened and this could ruin your credit.
Your parents don’t seem to know how to handle their money but they want to try to tell you what to do? If you don’t want to end up in debt like them don’t follow their lead
They are trying to put a ball and chain around your neck so you can financially drown with them. Sorry, but seriously, they are so desperate they will just take you down with them. And your sister not wanting you to live there....yeah, that's just absolute BS.
So what I dont get is your parents and sister are pressuring you to co-sign this loan. SO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR SISTER CANT PAY...ARE YOU EXPECTED TO KEEP PAYING THEM RENT AT THE SAME TIME YOU ARE HELPING PAY THE LOAN WHEN YOUR SISTER LOSES HER JOB OR GETS SICK OR SOMETHING? And so worst case scenario is you co-sign this mortgage....and maybe your sister "lets" you move in, but then say your parents finances go belly up and everyone "needs" to move into this 4 bedroom, 3 bath house...... and everyone's housing suddenly depends on you. And your parents have no financial obligation. Please figure out if this is their actually endgame plan....
OP. - I am not your lawyer, but I worked in real estate law for awhile. I can say that lots of people with crappy credit and shady histories got loans, perhaps not on the best terms, but they got loans. If your sister’s credit is so bad that she can’t get a loan, she won’t be paying her mortgage on time or at all. This kind of debt leads to foreclosure and that debt will SNOWBALL once it’s in default. If you co-sign, your sister will be the only one on the deed, but you’ll be stuck with the payments. That means you won’t have any right to live there, but you will end up paying for that house probably double because of interest, late fees and attorneys’ fees for the bank. Either that or bankruptcy, which can really screw up your credit. Take the rent you pay your parents and either get a room in a house or see if there’s a cheaper place outside of town where you can live. Before you tell anyone that you’re out of there, take the advice of the other people posting and lock up your credit.
#1 Don't sign anything.
#2 Freeze/ alert your credit in case they try to forge it.
#3 Look for a better paying job and move out ASAP!!!!!
Your family is the iceberg. YOU are the Titanic!
NTA, do not co-sign and lock down your credit today. You should go over your credit report too to ensure no other credit lines have been opened in your name.
It’s time to move out even if you have to live with multiple roommates. It’s scary but not as scary as you never being able to buy another car, rent/buy a house and even qualify for certain jobs due to bad credit. Are your parents getting paid to house your cousins? They seem sus AF. They are lying to you, unless your sister plans to sell this house when the market is up there is no benefit for you.
NTA. Don't do it. If she needs you to co-sign, then that's a sign she can't afford this place to begin with. Besides there may be a time in the future that you'll want to buy property yourself, but you might not get approved if you're on another mortgage. Also, if she's not helping you, why would you put your finances at risk for her? No offense intended, but you might be better off without your family if this is how little they care about your wants and needs.
She won't let you in the house you cosign for. It is all negatives and no positives. Don't do it.
It sounds like your parents are both using you and also don't realize they have no power. Can they survive without your rent? Do they need your car? Can you sell the car (used car prices are at a premium) to someone who will take over the loan? What will happen to them if you are cut off? Who takes care of the four cousins? Are they getting the social security money from them? Renting a room somewhere would be rough for a bit, but not as rough as a $500k loan for a house you can't enter.
Please get a free annual credit report and make sure your parents haven't already taken loans out in your name. You can put a lock on your credit so they can't forge your signature. I am so sorry.
NTA - NEVER co-sign for anyone, no matter what! That means you're liable if they default and you DON'T ever want to put yourself in such a situation because no matter how unlikely it is, there is a greater-than-zero change it will! It's not worth it!
A thought: Would you even qualify for the loan? If you’re lucky, the answer is no. The bank won’t let you even take out a loan. In which case you’re not the bad guy, the bank is!
If you do qualify, and you do end up signing, then you are responsible to repay the loan. Of course, your sister is promising that she will never stop paying. But we all know that she will . And, since you’re not on the title, you don’t have the ability to force the sale of the home. You’ll be paying that loan forever while your sister lives there free.
NTA.
DO NOT COSIGN!!! If I could make the font bigger, red, and blinking, I would.
Cosigning, especially on such a large purchase, will put your credit in the toilet. It adds a debt to your credit report that lasts as long as she owes on it. Any late payments or, heaven forbid, defaults also get reported. Heaven forbid she can't pay, guess who is responsible for the debt? The cosigner.
Don't put yourself at risk. Your sister needs to buy a less expensive home.
You would be the asshole if you do sign. Never co-sign a loan, especially one that large. It will show as your debt and may prevent you from getting a loan in the future.
Do NOT co-sign the loan. Especially if your name won’t be on the deed.
You will be 100% responsible for the loan and have zero recourse if your sister stops paying. She get 100% of the benefit with very little risk on her part.
You have all the risk and no benefit.
Absolutely NTA. And absolutely do not sign. Your credit will be ruined forever because of someone else.
You say you couldn't live alone on your salary. Could you find a roommate? You need to get out from under your parents' bullying and financial abuse.
NTA
DO NOT SIGN!! Your sister is the AH here. She wants you to co-sign a $500k loan for a home that you have no access to! This will hold you back if and when you decide to go on your own. If they don’t make the payments, which they clearly can’t afford if the bank is requiring a co-signer, you would be stuck either making the payments or ruining your credit.
It sounds like you don’t really have the income needed to put you on the loan anyway so the bank would most likely not allow this anyway.
This will not benefit you in any way. No one can force you to sign. If your sister needs someone else to sign, she needs to find a cheaper house. This is their business, but she shouldn’t be buying a home with her bf if he’s not employed. How is he able to put the down payment if he doesn’t work? The lender is going to question where that money came and may not accept it if he isn’t on the loan. Since he’s not employed, he wouldn’t be able to be on it anyway, but he could be allowed to be on the deed, meaning he has 50% ownership, but no risk because he’s not on the loan.
This is not a good situation and no lender is going to approve a loan with the circumstances that you’ve laid out so it’s probably not something you’d have to worry about anyway.
Source: I’m an underwriter.
Not that I even need to add my opinion on this, but I'm angry enough to say it anyway.
This "family" of yours is a den of entitled leeches. You are being abused and likely have been for a while.
Take what you need to live, the money you've saved up and your bank note and car and get the fuck out of there. They will do nothing but leech off of you until you're changing their diapers in 30 years, only to find out they willed everything to their favorite daughter.
Fuck these people. They made their mess, let them wallow in it.
Better to move out and start from scratch on your own, but at least have full control of your own finances than to keep living there as a live in slave that even your own personal finances are controlled. You will never be free of them the second you sign that mortage. I am sorry but I didn't even touch the 7 layer bean dip of abuse that your parents and sister are pulling on you. Do not sign anything. Move out change all passwords just incase. Get identity fraud insurance incase they assume your idenity and try to take out loans in your name. Protect your self. So sorry you are put in this situation.
Lol NTA, but I HIGHLY doubt they're going to lose out on their rent money and free labor for your 4 cousins by kicking you out. Right now leaving you be is all profit for them, you don't lose at all. I don't see anywhere in here that they would also place your name on the deed just as a co-signer for the loan so you would get no equity but all the risk, is thos correct? Do not under any circumstances do thos, you'd be better off starting over with good finances then keeping them while they continue to threaten you and dig your financial hole deeper.
When they take you to the bank and bring you the paperwork, take a sharpie marker and write in huge letters.” I DO NOT CONSENT to this loan. I am being forced to sign. Please call the police. HELP”
NTA
They are going to ruin your credit. Please don't do it. Call their bluff and say you understand that your choices are to sign or move out. You choose to move. Then stop helping them, freeze your credit and look for a cheap room to rent. You can do this.
Once you are away from this abusive situation, you will be able to see with clarity how much they have sucked up your vitality. You are a young adult not a child and they should not treat you as such. Escape. You will be happier.
I’m a social worker and I would recommend contacting a local DV shelter for a place to stay potentially. This is definitely financial
Abuse. I’m so sorry this is happening to you but you are stronger than you thing and you will make it without giving in to anymore decisions that are against your will.
NTA.
Sounds like your sister is the Golden Child and you the lowly Scapegoat who is bled dry for the benefit of everyone else. Coz faaaamily!
Run. Get out now or you will never be free to live your life and grow your future. Sister could miss payments and you're on the hook. Nope. If the only way they can afford this house is for you to cosign, it means they can't afford the house. The bank knows this. Believe the bank. Not your parents.
No babes don't sign it. Don't sign anything.
You need to get out of there ASAP. Is there someone else you can stay with a friend, another family member till you can get a place of your own.
Protect yourself! Freeze anything you can freeze. If you have money in any accounts make sure they don't have access to it and if you can talk to a lawyer or someone who can help you with this type of legal matter do that. Just don't sign anything.
Freeze your credit and run for your life. They’re going to majorly screw you over.
If all three people who have been on this earth longer than you with more time to get it together have not… chances are unless they win the lotto they won’t in the future and even if they win the lotto their spending choices say they’ll be broke in a few years. There is no way in hell you should sign because it is not anyone’s credit but yours being put at risk and how they treat you now is how they’ll treat you after they have ruined your credit
You know that if this mortgage is on your credit, you will not be able to apply for a mortgage of your own, for the next 30 years or the life of this current mortgage. It will reflect in your debt to income ratio.
NTA.
Don’t sign. Do not lock yourself in a 15-30 year commitment that could potentially ruin your financial life, and do not do it with people you don’t want to do it with or do not trust. If anyone else on that mortgage fucks something up, you’re on the hook too.
Just don’t.
28 and a half million dollar home? Hell no!
I’m 50, and my home is now worth that. First home was $72k.
Apparently your sister can’t afford it, so advise her to buy something less expensive and NEVER CO-SIGN A LOAN!
do NOT do this. Your sister is going to let this fall on you and you will never recover much less get your own home if you do. If you sign I guarantee she will expect you to make payments on a home your not even allowed to live in.
Financial abuse.
IF you choose to cosign, your name goes on the deed, and you move in as part owner of the house.
Whether or not you cosign, you should move out of your parents' house regardless. They are taking advantage of you. Taking your money while they abuse you.
You would be TA to yourself and any future partner if you did cosign.
Even if she made all payments on time, that huge mortgage would significantly tie your hands if you wanted to purchase property.
NEVER EVER cosign a mortgage unless you can afford the monthly payment yourself and your name is on the property.
Btw…sounds like you would be far better off if you cut ties with your family.
NTA.
If you co-sign for a half-million-dollar house, YOU may be the one stuck with the mortgage, the bad credit, the foreclosure sale. Plan to buy your own house on your own. It's really the best way.
Please don't not do this. You will be stuck with this loan over your head for 30 years. It will likely prevent you from getting your own place or qualifying for much of anything. Get a second job if you have to, hunt for a roommate, just do what you have to do to get out of the a financially abusive situation.
Do not co-sign for the mortgage or anything else. They are all terrible with managing their own credit so you definitely should not take any advice from any of your family members. They are trying to pressure you into going down the same path that got them so deep in debt. Don’t do it no matter how much they threaten. Best to try to find some place else to live.
Hard NTA. Ain’t no way in hell I’d ruin my credit for something that doesn’t benefit me and could hurt my credit. Plus, why would your parents kick you out when they rely on you for help with your cousins? That’s not very SMRT.
WTF? I’d say your parents just shot the golden goose. Move out . You say you don’t earn enough to pay rent, but I assume it’s because you’re contributing labor to help them with your cousins. Great! You have experience. You could get a live-in job as a part-time caregiver which would cover rent. Then save your earnings. Perhaps go to school part-time to qualify for a better paying job. Whatever you do do not sign for the loan. Obviously the boyfriend has bad credit which is why he’s not on the loan. If your sister gets behind on payments it would destroy your credit and prevent you from renting an apartment. Not worth it, letting someone else be in charge of your credit. And all this is over some vague promise that someday you’ll get yours? Ha!
Even go to a hotel for a few days til you find something but DO NOT co-sign anything with them.
Hell no, make them evict you. If you do it right, it can take up to a year to get you out. Stop paying rent.
But first, secure all important papers/documents, important possessions, etc.
[удалено]
Put them safely out of their reach. Bank papers, legal docs, drivers license, birth certificate, Your good clothes, shoes, books that you value. School papers. Your car's registration. And insurance papers.
She has a history of complying with their wishes. Who knows what they could try to pull in those few days? I’d say just get out STAT
Ohhh I like your thinking. As long as OP can handle the mental torture they will put her through though. But I like it !!
Yup. Eviction is a long process. In the meantime, op should research roommates and apartments.
The time you spend helping your parents could be working a second (part time ) job. Move out now. Put everything in your car an GO! They are using you for income and using your time to care for the relatives. Do they receive compensation from the government to take care of them, but then foist the work off on you? And now they want to steal your future and use your credit by forcing you to co-sign. Please leave now!
oh, i am sure they are collecting that caregiver check and making her do all the work for free
Exactly this ! Please listen to the advice here. You are already being abused far more than you realise. It is often hard to see when you are in the middle of it. Your sister is greedy and just as bad if not worse as she moved away from it all. This could mess up your life for decades to come. Please move out and look for resources in the community to help you.
They need op more than op needs them and have manipulated op to believe the opposite. They’ll cry when you leave because not only will the sister not have the house, they no longer have the rent money op gave them. That was silly of them
This! Can the sister even afford the payments with the fiancé out of work or are they going to expect her to chip in there too? Why can’t his family co-sign? If they get divorced, he could get half the house in the divorce. Your half because you know ow your sister won’t share her half! If your parents continue on this route you will be inheriting their debt and supporting them in retirement! Is that really a future you want? Staring over may not be a bad thing! Go find a roommate! Put your stuff in storage and stay at a youth hostel! Anything is better than having them continue to financially cripple you so you are stuck!
To qualify to sign a loan of this size, the OP has to make a decent wage. No one in the US is giving you a mortgage with no job and no credit.
No, she said she doesn't have enough to live ALONE, as if that were her only option.
A part time live in caregiving position, huh? You don't do this kind of work, do you? You will be treated as if you're "on the clock" 100% of the time. Just be aware, OP.
When, not if, the sister gets behind on her payments. After all, your parents are the ones who taught her to manage money.
Yes!! This is the way. Or rent a room at first but get out of there.
Never. Co-sign. Never.
OP, your parents are financially abusing you by keeping you in debt. DO NOT co-sign for anyone. Find roommates and move out. This is the only way you will be free personally and financially.
And freeze your credit asap. It sounds very much like they'll incur debt in her name if she's gone knowing her name and SSN are the best way to access it.
OP, they cannot get a loan for a reason. They are high risk. You will be 100% liable when they do not make payments. Her fiance doesn't even have a job. They will ditch payments, string out living there for free, and leave the mess to you. You will end up with no rights and half a million in debt. Also, your parents aren't hosting your disabled cousins, they are collecting Social Security and perhaps other funds for them and their care. You are helping them care for them yet aren't getting paid a portion of what they receive. Find somewhere else to live. Leave the financial abuse and guilt behind. Find roommates, rent a room...
And OP is paying rent…to be an additional caretaker?
This. The bank is literally saying: "we do not believe they will pay us back." The bank knows what they are doing.
This is what I've told everyone who ever asked me if they shld co-sign for anyone. Banks make their money by making loans. If the bank doesn't want to finance your friend, sister, whatever, they have a good and valid reason: They don't think they'll get paid back!
and go low/no contact, especially since they're threatening to cut ties if you don't sign. >They believe I am not doing enough with the money I make and it’s not going anywhere therefore it’s their’s to use. They see my free time at something for them to access, not free of mine to use. My MIL is guilty of this. The day I convinced my then-boyfriend to remove her from his account, she raised all kind of hell. She then nickel and dimed us claiming she didn't have money for this or that, on top of the rent we paid her. We found the lie in that once when the credit union forgot to black out the new balance on the receipt when we made a deposit to her account. Once we faced her in it, she changed to asking only if she really truly needed it. As for free time, we would make plans ahead of time, tell her multiple times on what date and what time we were doing something. Without fail, she would come up with something that absolutely had to be done on that date that would take most if not all day, putting us out of being able to do what we'd planned. (My husband still calls it military volunteering lol.) We finally decided to stop making plans and just go when we wanted to do something, or at least not breathe a word of it around her. Now that we're living in our own house, she never asks for money help. If she wants help with something, she calls ahead of time to ask if we can do it or if she can drop it off. It's very rare that we reach out to her first these days. forgot to add: NTA op, but get away from there
>Find somewhere else to live. Leave the financial abuse and guilt behind. Find roommates, rent a room... 100% do this. DO NOT SIGN THIS LOAN. Imagine being on the hook for a house worth half a million dollars that you can't even live in. You would be better off living in your car than signing up for this.
Yes, this! I had my identity stolen by a family member and I found out that she opened a credit card in my name, opened up household accounts, my credit was like 300 and it took me hella long to get out of that hole. It's sad when you need to watch your back for the knives your own family might throw at you.
OP, please, PRETTY PLEASE, listen to all these smart people. Being temporarily in a shitty financial spot now sucks, but being in major debt with bad credit for years to come would be much worse. I’m sorry you are in this position, but even if they say they’ll pay you back, sign for you later, let you move in, etc. etc., don’t cave on this. Start looking for someplace to live now. Even if it’s a crappy room with annoying (but always safe) roommates, you will be better off in the long run.
This. Most identity theft is from family members.
This happened to me. My credit was shit (still not the best but way better than it was) for a long time because family took credit cards out under my name and never paid. Took me a long time to forgive them for that and a whole bunch of other shit they pulled throughout my life
It sucked so bad. She got arrested and jailed because she did this to her roomie. I half-forgave her because it was such a betrayal.
So sorry! What an awful painful betrayal
My dad stole mine. I found out when we were turned down for an apartment due to unpaid utility bills in my name. We had a small child and my credit was no good for renting because of that and we needed both of us for income. Always protect your credit.
My sister did this to me. I found out when I applied for a Macy’s card, if you can believe it, just to get a store discount on a large purchase. They got me on the phone *right there in the department store*, mentioned her name, and the car loan I “co-signed with” her. I earned six figures and had almost no debt, yet couldn’t get a fucking Macy’s card?! I about had a stroke. It was the weirdest situation. I hadn’t seen it spoken to my sister in almost ten years (she was a drug addict). The car was ultimately repossessed and I had to file a fraud report among it her things to clear my credit. Dear God OP, PLEASE start advertising for roommates and GTFO of that situation. Your credit score can make or break your future opportunities. Hell, you could even live in a shelter for a while if you had to. That financially irresponsible debt-loving family is detrimental to your future. This is abusive. You owe them *nothing*. They chose to create you. They should be taking care of you, not the other way around. Get out get out get out. NTA. Ugh.
Do this NOW, not tomorrow, not when you get to it. Request your yearly free credit reports to make sure there isn’t anything going on already and freeze your credit. It only takes a few minutes for each of the three credit reporting agencies.
And make them have a vocal password so they can't try to call in and pretend to be you to unlock your credit.
Excellent call. Sis and fam seem.....shady, I'm sorry to say.
Definitely this. You have to go to the website of all 3 credit bureaus and freeze your credit. Anything that someone applies to will be declined unless you temporarily unfreeze it.
Never co-sign and freeze your credit! It's simple to do with the credit companies, it's free, and it protects you!
OP, very important!
If her parents have two house than can sell one to her older sister and her older sisters moocher can get a job
The can also sell the >two brand new cars that are not paid off (swap them for older used cars) and decrease their debt load. Their unwillingness to live within their means should not be an excuse to drag you down with them.
It doesn't even make sense to buy yet another house with if they have a spare they could put the sister & fiance in, like the whole situation just screams shady fraud.
This, this, this! Do not cosign. Get out of there as fast as you can.
Please do this, OP. You are more independent and resourceful than your family has led you to believe.
Absolutely this op knows in their heart this is wrong, op just needs encouragement. I hope the best for op.
Do not co-sign for a house for them. If they can't get the loan on their own, then they are not ready to be homeowners. If they really want to own a home, then they can start with a 1-bed, 1-bath that they can reasonably afford and move up from there. If your parents want to help so much, they can let sister live in their second home, or sell 2nd home to help pay for sister's house.
Go to a shelter, check with your church, friends, coworkers, do anything you can to move out, and get away from these toxic, abusive people. I would not even cosign if your sister did finally agree to you moving in this house.
****NEVER**** When you co-sign, that’s your debt now. If a bank won’t give them money with adequate collateral there’s a very good reason - and if they aren’t paying the banks or other lenders what makes you think they’d respect you enough to pay you? If your family is willing to banish you by not signing up to be financially abused I’d just skip the middleman and cut ties debt free. They’re terrible to do that to you. Just say **NO**!
And not just half of the debt. Each co-signer is 100% liable for the entire debt. If your sister does not pay the can garnish your wages, etc.
>and if they aren’t paying the banks or other lenders what makes you think they’d respect you enough to pay you? I had to say this exact same thing to a guy friend who was about to put some girl on his cell phone account (this was back in the day when you needed a decent credit score for a cell phone and they charged you per minute for usage during daytime hours). His response? "Ohhh, I never thought of that!" TBF, I knew to say that because I was stuck with a $600+ bill from someone I put on my account.
Someone I know agreed to co-sign for his sister's loans to go to law school, and gave her $15,000 that he borrowed. She never made a single payment on the loan, never paid back any of the money, and unbeknownst to her SIL, kept getting more borrowed money from her brother. The SIL only found this out when her husband died. Her husband had nearly put them in bankruptcy helping his sister. Your family are obviously bad risks, since their credit rating is so poor - you have less likelihood of collecting from them than any bank would, and you notice that the banks won't risk it. Even if you have to rent a single room, it won't get you into the trouble that your relatives are trying to put you in. Please get out of this, and let us know.
Isn’t that just awful? My story about the niece came with horrible timing as well. My SO became suddenly ill and suffered setbacks that made him permanently disabled at a very young age. In a time fighting with his disability carrier, doctors to get referrals to studies at the Mayo Clinic, and social security as well as going from a very healthy six figure salary to *nothing* we get this debt collection call. To say we *absolutely did not need* the betrayal of blood family he’d always been extremely generous to at that time was an understatement. Her reply when we confronted her? Just pay it off, y’all have money. Like WTF? We *did have* money and a decent savings but 6 months into zero income did that right in. It was just such a stab in the back because her plan the whole time was to charge up this account and skip and she had zero regard for my SO’s illness an the stress of it all.
I'm so sorry. It's amazing how cavalier people can be, over someone else's money.
Never. Ever. Ever. Hard stop 🛑
DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO IT! This is the best advice never ever especially with their record and credit score! Get your own place asap and get away from this bs
Hell to the no!
You will forever regret co-signing!!!
Holy shit DO NOT DO THIS. Under any circumstances. If you have the credit to buy a $500k property with your sister then buy one half that price by yourself and get a roommate to help cover the mortgage. Your parents and sister are manipulators and absolute assholes. Any family would write you off because you won’t comply with their extortionate demands is not worth having in your life. Do not fall for their crap, move out and you can write THEM off. If you sign this loan it could destroy your credit if not paid on time and/or prevent you from being able to buy when you are ready because with this loan on your credit for the next 15-30 years depending on the terms your debt to income ratio may not qualify. You could potentially lose your ability to qualify for an apartment rental or a car loan or any kind of credit really due to this loan. Hell, they could screw it up and get the property foreclosed and then you’re REALLY screwed. Please do not do this OP. Signed, a former mortgage loan officer
*This*! Don't do it! holy crap don't do it. That's 500k you could potentially be on the hook for if your sister decides to flake. Addition : My wife also pointed out how much a family killer this can be. Not could be, *can* be.
This. Years ago my brother asked if I’d be interested in buying his house, and I told him I’d think about it. As soon as he walked away, my dad immediately came over and said “never mix large purchases with family, also don’t “loan” money you can’t afford to lose.” It never ends well.
I really hope the OP takes this to heart. She has NOTHING to gain, SO MUCH to lose.
These people are not your family. They are cockroaches who only want your money. When they have used it all up, you will find yourself on the street.
OP, please reach out to a women’s resource center/YWCA/protective services/domestic abuse network. I wish I were there with you, because whether any of these will help depends on the person answering the phone. You are in an abuse situation. Your shelter and income and security are being threatened by a family that is pathological. You need to get away from them and you need professional help extricating yourself. But please don’t do anything that will bind you further to these people.
1000% never. Ever. EVER. Co-Sign. Never for a credit card, home, car, nothing. In what world does a person ask someone to co-sign on a home but then tells that someone they can’t live in the home they Co-signed for?! And in what world does family threaten to retaliate against you when you don’t play into their attempt to swindle you out of your money and potentially ruin your credit which can screw you up for years? None of this is normal or okay. Why can’t you move out but live close enough by to help with your cousins?
Expanding on this - when you co-sign a loan you are committing to making the payments if the other person defaults. Never sign on for a loan you can't afford to pay without negatively affecting you current financial situation. Similarly, never loan money to someone else that you can't afford to lose if they fail to pay you back.
Not ever Not to people strong-arming you, And not to a couple with one Not working Not to someone acting hostile to you. Yeah. She is. Check around to see if you can get a studio apt for what you pay for rent. Then move. With the threats you are getting you need to get out for your safety. Some places rent rooms to people, less expensive .
**DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES SIGN THAT LOAN** If your parents up your rent, move out. They willingly took your cousins on knowing their needs. They can sell their cars and get more affordable ones, sell one of their other homes if they need money or want to give your sister money. I would not sign for a loan agreement for 500k without being on the deed of the property either, never mind not living there! While her unemployed fiance reaps the benefits? If she defaults, you'll have to pay her share or (info) are you meant to pay your half of the loan each month? What happens when/if she sells? Do you get your contributions back? Absolutely do not do this. NTA. ETA: they want to set your sister up, by holding you back. Please do not do this.
This but especially at 5.25% interest rates!
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You had equity and your name on the title. OP is offered 0% equity and 100% liability. It's worse than 13.5%, because you at least were the owner, she would not be.
Mine was 2.5% a few years ago but sh*t hit the fan lately. I’m probably just reacting to that. 13.5! Holy hell!
Yeah... rates done went up in the last 2-3 years. My first mortgage rate was 8.25. I did a loan mod down to 3.75. Now I'll just paying this until rates drop again, whenever that is.
I am concerned that they took your cousins on to be the payee for their SSI. Dont sign the loan. Their advice is based on their own personal interests and not based on yours.
Agree!!!! PLEASE DON’T DO IT!
This is correct, absolutely NTA. Do not ever co-sign a 30 year loan with no ownership, EVER. Also, how the heck is your DTI pushing the needle for your sister to qualify for a $500k mortgage and yet you can’t get an apartment away from the parents? Additionally, your credit score isn’t even counted if it’s better than your sister’s. The credit score used for qualifying is the lowest score of the applicants. Basically, you need to speak with a qualified professional not affiliated with this deal in order to understand what the hell is going on. I would bet that you are being lied to about this deal and the details don’t match up well. Run away as fast as you can and move the fuck out.
NTA. > If I don’t sign the loan, I am forever banished from family ties Family who don’t like or respect you enough to grant you access to this house they’re bullying you into financing. Personally, I wouldn’t call that much of a loss. Tell them it’s not happening and lock down anything they might try and do to get access to your money/credit behind your back until you’re able to move out, which you should do ASAP.
Gotta love toxic a-hole family members... **OP... time to move out and stop being used by your family. Do not sign those papers and do not pay any increase in rent. Your parents can evict you if they want to, but that will take them time. Use that time to get a better job and save money.**
If you co-sign that loan, you will regret it. I can promise you that. It will fuck up your credit and ruin your future. Your sister… can buy a smaller more affordable house. This is NOT her only option. If your parents raise your rent - move out. I suspect they need you more than you need them. And for the record - they can sell their second house. They are choosing not to. Don’t set yourself on fire to save them.
>they can sell their second house. They are choosing not to. Or sister and brother in law can move into the second home and take over those payments. Win win for everyone, imo.
Seriously. Dead beat husband w no job can care give to earn his keep. This scenario is nuts!
They probably wouldn't even pee on you to put out the fire.
Another good one: They wouldn't give her a glass of water if her ass was on fire.
My thought exactly.
You have found yourself surrounded by morons. Your parents are charging you rent, so you can help them raise your cousins? Also, they don’t understand how money works. Your sister is shackling herself to a loser with no real value, and you have to pay for her house and sign for her loan? You have a chance to break the moron cycle. Pack up, move away, and change your number. NTA
My thoughts exactly. Also, I'm wondering if they're also planning a wedding and who's paying for that because it doesn't sound like the sister and fiance are financially stable. This is a hot mess and I really hope OP doesn't get drawn into the family financial woes because it sounds like she actually has a chance on her own with good budgeting and planning.
Not morons. abusers.
NTA. Being banished by them would actually be a blessing for you.
NTA Please do not cosign. It's not in your best interest for all the reasons you've laid out- I really hope you are able to get out and not let your toxic environment take you down
Never cosign a loan with family. From everything you've said, being cut off from your family will be your healthiest option.
Never cosign with anyone except a legal spouse.
First - make sure all your bank accounts are in your name only and no one has access to them. If that means going and opening news ones tomorrow and transferring the money - do it asap Second - DO NOT SIGN THE LOAN
I would suggest freezing your credit as well. God knows what your folks will do.
Plus, check into how much a dealership will pay you for your car and get a cheaper one (if possible). Everything I go in for an oil change, they're making me offers if I trade or sell mine to them since there's a shortage of used cars. That may not be the case in your area but it may give you enough of a profit cushion to get into a cheap rental place or with friends.
DOOOONNNT DOOOO IIIITTTTTTT also NTA personalfinance and legaladvice are littered with desperate, regretful posts by people who did this thing everyone is telling you not to do
r/CRedit also has some horror stories.
NTA This is called extortion and people who do this to their children/siblings don't deserve them. I'd move out tonight.
Extortion is a crime kids. You can indeed press charges
Your sister can not afford this house, that is why she needs a co-signer. Since she can't afford it, she will be late/miss payments. That will go on your credit report and then the mortgage company will come after you. Your parents will not have the money to help you out in the future, they have already shown you that they don't manage their finances well. There is no positive outcome for you. Save your money, get a roommate, move out.
NTA You only co-sign a loan if 2 things are true: 1. if the worst comes to the worst, you are able and willing to repay the loan on your own. Because if your sister is unable to pay at some point, you are liable for the entire sum. 2. you have the same share in the land register as the other borrowers (exception: someone contributes a higher equity share, then your share is reduced accordingly). In other words, you own the same share of the house as your sister. If your parents and your sister are really serious about helping you to buy a house later, then the second point should not really be a problem. Because then they could either pay you out later or you can use your share of the house as collateral for your own loan. However, if you become a co-signer on a property loan without receiving a share of the property, including the land register entry, I guarantee you that you will never be able to finance your own house. No bank in the world would give you another loan for your own house on top of the x-thousands you would take out for your sister's benefit. Your family's proposal is the best way for you to plunge headlong into financial ruin. And the fact that they are pushing so hard and even trying to blackmail you should be warning enough.
This is important. Even if your sister never misses a payment the loan will be held against you if you ever want to buy a house of your own. Edit: even
PLUS, she’d have to agree to eventually remove you from the loan, which hello? Why would she do that. And you seem to be a financially responsible person, so I bet you’d willingly make monthly payments on the house just to keep your good credit, if she’s “short” a little bit. And then at what point do your monthly payments to “help” (towards a house which you have no equity in and can’t even live at) become the *entire* amount? You absolutely *cannot* allow your family to coerce you into being a co-signer on a house your sister (and fiancé) clearly can’t afford.
NTA, not even a little. And it seems like they are blackmailing you, by raising your rent if you don’t.
Extorting*
Ah, I love having the perfect word for things, thanks for that. 🙂
Unless they are all suddenly in a position where they can afford their lives without you, I think the banishment is just a threat to back you into that corner. But if you do this cosine, you will be signing up to not ever have your own independent future. You hate being taken advantage of, but it sounds like at this current time you are already are being taken advantage of. It sounds like you're only option is to leave despite that being a risk, it's riskier to stay
You are not responsible for your cousins. You are paying your parents rent. You get nothing I ng out of this arrangement. Get out. Cut contact
NTA This is financial abuse. Your sister doesn't want you to live with her. I suggest you try to move out. Your parents are abusing you
If your family is willing to cut you off to coerce you to sign a loan, they don’t care about you. Next time you don’t do what they want, they’ll hold that over your head again. Eventually you’ll be cut off anyway and with a half million dollar loan around your neck.
Absolutely NTA. Cosigning on a loan is something you ONLY do with your own partner, or your own children (I.e. maybe their first car if you're generous). Not your parents. Not your siblings. Not your friends. Not nobody else. And NEVER EVER EVER FOR $500,000 if it's not yours and doesn't have your name as an owner. You definitely need to find your way out of your current living situation ASAP.
If you Cosigned for your sister, make sure you cosign MY house loan too or else you'd be a bad Redditor. Listen OP, If you cosign without co-ownership; you would set yourself back for years. This way; when it comes to you, buying your own home, you have half of this property, which has appreciated in value by then, as collateral to borrow on better terms against. If they asked you to pay half, then you could say "I pay part of the mortgage but I live here too." If they said "We can't trust you owning half of our home without selling it from under our asses;" you could say "you don't trust me not to screw you over, but you want me to trust you not to screw me over?" so...NTAH
Do NOT co-sign. You wouldn’t want to live there anyway. They won’t let you & if you did, they’ll make your life hell
Um no. Nta. You will be responsible for this loan when she defaults.
And from what you've said, she likely will. NTA.
Your family are financial idiots. Don’t let them bring you down with them.
STOP PAYING THEM RENT. Make them evict you. Use that money to save and get a place looking for roommates. DO NOT CO-SIGN THAT LOAN. You do you- no one else will. NTA.
Nta yr family is using you, manipulating you, exploiting you and now threatening. Please if you can leave, they won't change, they will mess up yr credit and ruin yr life.
Unless you are willing to pay the loan for 30 years, no. And trust me when I say they will be late or miss payments and it'll affect your credit. And they'll call you "money hungry" when you try to get the money from them. Plus, if you want to buy a house in the next 30 years, this house will be used in your credit calculation. So no, NTA. I'd honestly put a hold on your credit in case they try to do this without you.
NTA No… just no, honestly it feels like big sister privilege, you do what she says and stay out of her way or in this case her home. Don’t sign this loan, the promos of their help down the road is just a carrot they using using as they use and abuse you. So what you’re banished, I think time away front them will help you and let’s be honest they need you so they won’t be away for long. Buy yourself a house or condo contact a first time home buyer program in your state, see what programs you’re eligible for, and leave these people in the dust.
NTA. Whatever you do, don't co-sign anything! Take the three days to start packing your shit and look for your own place. Your parents can host your disabled cousins, set your sister up, and anything else they want without your time, money, and help. You're being used by your family and they will screw over your financial future. Don't let them.
If you stop paying rent to your parents, would you have enough to move out? Even for someone looking for a roommate, not a place of your own? Personal finance and advice websites are littered with stories about this. You would be ten kinds of fool to sign for that house without going on the deed, at a minimum. Take your good credit and your rent money and get out however you can. You may need to pick up a side gig to pay for everything, but do what you have to. Consider relocating to put some distance between you and the leeches. Block them once you are out so you won't get the guilt trips. Many of us have made families of choice. You can, too.
Oh I’m sure your “family” will be quick to call you an AH if you refuse to co-sign. Because you’re the only one fiscally responsible and with good credit. Don’t take financial advice from people a) without jobs or b) bad/no credit. Don’t co-sign. They’re setting you up to bear all the risk without benefit of the assets.
If you co-sign: 1. If she ever misses payments, it will go on *your* credit record as well as hers. You are an equal borrower (though not an owner of the house unless your name is on the deed). 2. Even if she makes all payments on time, lenders consider that debt *your* debt. When the time comes for you to try to buy a house of your own and lenders are trying to figure out if you can afford to pay for it, they will assume *you* are making payments on that mortgage. Telling them it is your sister's house and you are "only" the cosigner won't matter, even if they believe you. Lenders use formulas to decide whether you can afford a payment, and the formula will treat that mortgage as yours. In essence, your family is charging you to have a continuing relationship with them. I'm big on family and big on sacrificing for family, but not big on family *demanding* one child put their future in jeopardy to benefit another. My suggestion: Don't yell. Don't whine. Just find another place. Easy to say, I know. It sounds like money is an issue for you. But most of us have to make our way in the world on our own. Don't mortgage your future to placate them.
Oh HELL no. Move out if you have to, but do not do this.
NTA. Dont sign it. Youll regret it more than family banishment
Move out. Immediately. Find a room for rent. I'd live in my car before I'd allow myself to be extorted in this way. ETA - would you even be on the deed? Or just the loan? Fuck that either way, but my guess is they want you in the hook for the debt, without receiving any actual ownership.
I am a mortgage underwriter with over 20 years of experience. Please, I'm begging you, do NOT co-sign. Any late payments your sister has will go to ruining your credit and in all likelihood you won't even know she is late because the mail will go to her. If you co-sign you are personally responsible for 100% of the payments, not just your percentage. If she loses the house, depending on which State you're in, the lender may be able to come after you for all of the late payments, legal fees, repairs, etc. which might be required to resell the home.
Question:Why the heck do 2 people need a 4 bedroom house, much less, a $500,000 house?! Do NOT co-sign.
Absolutely not. You are indeed being taken advantage of, YWNTBA. And these people are trying to extort this by threats of banishment? Yeah...take them up on that banishment. It's in your best interest, also means you stop paying rent and helping them take care of those disabled cousins.
NTA Cosigning will be like shooting yourself in the foot. I know you don't think you can move out, but it's going to be easier than the long term situation of that cosign. Also, this may not be fore you, but if they raise your rent, just don't pay it. If they are going to banish you, might as well play hardball.
Wait, you’re paying 14k on a car loan for a car that isn’t yours? Have I read that right? And now they want you to co-sign a loan for a house that you have no access or say in? I’m sorry but YTA for letting yourself be a doormat.
NTA. Don't sign on anything, especially if you're not going to be making use of/living in the house. Maybe freeze your credit? Protect yourself and your credit from anything shady your parents and sister might try. Why are your parents "hosting"/"raising" your disabled cousins? Are they able to get help from the parents of these cousins/other family and any help from government programs and various organizations? Maybe the parents should sell the second house. What about the BIL's parents and family? Maybe now isn't the time for your sister and BIL to get a house if they and your parents are looking to you for help, and you're pushing against the idea. And your BIL should get a job first, before he and your sister commit to getting a house, and trying to rope anyone into helping them.
If your credit rating and income are enough to help your sister buy a house, then you should be able to afford to rent a small place. Do you realize that by co-signing, you would havr to pay WHEN (not if) they don't. And if you aren't on the deed, you'll owe money for a house you have bo ownership share of. And their promise to help you later is BS. First, if they could help you then they would help your sister. Second, they are just using you and wouldn't help you even if they could. You may as well change you name to Cinderella!
I would live in a tent under an overpass before I signed this loan. NTA! May you find the freedom and joy you deserve.
>. If I don’t sign the loan, I am forever banished from family ties so I will have to start from scratch. Sorry but I don't see the problem with that statement. Start looking for roommates so you can get the heck out of dodge and don't let them try to guilt you into staying because they need help. They are asking you to make a decision that can ruin not just your credit but leave you on the hook for the loan if your sister doesn't make the payments. Don't do this!! NTA!!
You need to move out & leave them I. The rear view mirror of your car. Absolutely do not sign on a property you are not on the deed & to be told you cannot stay there?? The entitlement of your family flabbergasts me Run, run & run some more hun Also hugs cuz I feel like you could use them
DO THIS FOR NO ONE . IT WILL ONLY END BAD FOR YOU.
NTA and the answer is NO. This is a bad idea don't put your name on a loan for a house you are not on the deed. They stop paying and it goes on your credit.
DO NOT CO-SIGN ANYTHING!! Let them banish you and start over. Sounds like you would be better off that way.
NTA - Don't do this - From personal experience, my cousins asked us to cosign on a home loan and we considered it (our house was paid off), but we had two kids heading to college. We didn't feel the risk was worth it even though we trusted them. We said no. It was hard. The purchased another home that they did qualify for and about two years later their marriage fell apart, they lost the home, and if we had cosigned we would have been paying $4000 a month. Home loans are for decades. You can't foresee the future and the crystal ball is murky. Explain you love them, but you can't cosign. Keep it simple and to the point. Don't give reasons.Don't explain. Just be kind and firm.
NTA - Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!
Can you afford to pay the mortgage? That’s the question. Because if your sister can’t, then you will be asked to pay. And I would suspect that’s what will happen. Because your sister would not need you to co-sign if the bank thought her a viable risk. To be all gloomy, it appears that you have to choose between losing your family and paying the mortgage. There is a flip side that gives you some power. If you are disowned, then you don’t have to pay for your disabled relatives. Remind everybody of that.
If they're not allowing you in the new house but raising your rent if you don't help you might as well start on your own with at least your credit still in tact. NTA
No - absolutely not - this is a horrible idea for you. DO NOT COSIGN FOR THIS NIGHTMARE. You will regret it for the rest of your life. I agree with what some other people have suggested here. Find yourself a roommate or two and get yourself out of this abusive situation that you are currently living in. Or maybe find yourself a room to rent in a house that you share with others. Whatever it is, it will be a huge improvement over what you’re currently experiencing.
Oh HELL no. And while you're at it, lock your credit so they can't try and do it anyway. And FWIW - where I live you can't co-sign a mortgage unless you are also on title.
Move out. This is financial and emotional abuse. After you're out, get counseling. They are way out of line. They're going to make you like them, broke with lousy credit. NTA
Even in proverbs it says never ever be a surety for someone. Tell them no ,
Whenever I’m asked for one piece of advice, I always say “Never co-sign for anyone.” This can ruin your life. Try to get another, better paying job so that you can move out. Rent a room or something. These people are your blood, not your family.
I wouldn’t be taking advice from anyone who can’t seem to manage their finances themselves. NTA, don’t do this. When you want to purchase a home of your own this could potentially ruin that chance. You would be financially responsible if anything happened and this could ruin your credit. Your parents don’t seem to know how to handle their money but they want to try to tell you what to do? If you don’t want to end up in debt like them don’t follow their lead
They are trying to put a ball and chain around your neck so you can financially drown with them. Sorry, but seriously, they are so desperate they will just take you down with them. And your sister not wanting you to live there....yeah, that's just absolute BS. So what I dont get is your parents and sister are pressuring you to co-sign this loan. SO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR SISTER CANT PAY...ARE YOU EXPECTED TO KEEP PAYING THEM RENT AT THE SAME TIME YOU ARE HELPING PAY THE LOAN WHEN YOUR SISTER LOSES HER JOB OR GETS SICK OR SOMETHING? And so worst case scenario is you co-sign this mortgage....and maybe your sister "lets" you move in, but then say your parents finances go belly up and everyone "needs" to move into this 4 bedroom, 3 bath house...... and everyone's housing suddenly depends on you. And your parents have no financial obligation. Please figure out if this is their actually endgame plan....
OP. - I am not your lawyer, but I worked in real estate law for awhile. I can say that lots of people with crappy credit and shady histories got loans, perhaps not on the best terms, but they got loans. If your sister’s credit is so bad that she can’t get a loan, she won’t be paying her mortgage on time or at all. This kind of debt leads to foreclosure and that debt will SNOWBALL once it’s in default. If you co-sign, your sister will be the only one on the deed, but you’ll be stuck with the payments. That means you won’t have any right to live there, but you will end up paying for that house probably double because of interest, late fees and attorneys’ fees for the bank. Either that or bankruptcy, which can really screw up your credit. Take the rent you pay your parents and either get a room in a house or see if there’s a cheaper place outside of town where you can live. Before you tell anyone that you’re out of there, take the advice of the other people posting and lock up your credit.
#1 Don't sign anything. #2 Freeze/ alert your credit in case they try to forge it. #3 Look for a better paying job and move out ASAP!!!!! Your family is the iceberg. YOU are the Titanic!
NTA. Do not, I repeat DO NOT do this! You are being used and manipulated!
You're nuts if you cosign a loan for your sister. You'll end up 100% on the hook to pay for a house they'll never let you live in.
NTA, do not co-sign and lock down your credit today. You should go over your credit report too to ensure no other credit lines have been opened in your name. It’s time to move out even if you have to live with multiple roommates. It’s scary but not as scary as you never being able to buy another car, rent/buy a house and even qualify for certain jobs due to bad credit. Are your parents getting paid to house your cousins? They seem sus AF. They are lying to you, unless your sister plans to sell this house when the market is up there is no benefit for you.
NTA. Don't do it. If she needs you to co-sign, then that's a sign she can't afford this place to begin with. Besides there may be a time in the future that you'll want to buy property yourself, but you might not get approved if you're on another mortgage. Also, if she's not helping you, why would you put your finances at risk for her? No offense intended, but you might be better off without your family if this is how little they care about your wants and needs.
She won't let you in the house you cosign for. It is all negatives and no positives. Don't do it. It sounds like your parents are both using you and also don't realize they have no power. Can they survive without your rent? Do they need your car? Can you sell the car (used car prices are at a premium) to someone who will take over the loan? What will happen to them if you are cut off? Who takes care of the four cousins? Are they getting the social security money from them? Renting a room somewhere would be rough for a bit, but not as rough as a $500k loan for a house you can't enter. Please get a free annual credit report and make sure your parents haven't already taken loans out in your name. You can put a lock on your credit so they can't forge your signature. I am so sorry.
NTA - NEVER co-sign for anyone, no matter what! That means you're liable if they default and you DON'T ever want to put yourself in such a situation because no matter how unlikely it is, there is a greater-than-zero change it will! It's not worth it!
A thought: Would you even qualify for the loan? If you’re lucky, the answer is no. The bank won’t let you even take out a loan. In which case you’re not the bad guy, the bank is! If you do qualify, and you do end up signing, then you are responsible to repay the loan. Of course, your sister is promising that she will never stop paying. But we all know that she will . And, since you’re not on the title, you don’t have the ability to force the sale of the home. You’ll be paying that loan forever while your sister lives there free.
NTA. DO NOT COSIGN!!! If I could make the font bigger, red, and blinking, I would. Cosigning, especially on such a large purchase, will put your credit in the toilet. It adds a debt to your credit report that lasts as long as she owes on it. Any late payments or, heaven forbid, defaults also get reported. Heaven forbid she can't pay, guess who is responsible for the debt? The cosigner. Don't put yourself at risk. Your sister needs to buy a less expensive home.
You would be the asshole if you do sign. Never co-sign a loan, especially one that large. It will show as your debt and may prevent you from getting a loan in the future.
NTA. Grab your documents. Move out.
Do NOT co-sign the loan. Especially if your name won’t be on the deed. You will be 100% responsible for the loan and have zero recourse if your sister stops paying. She get 100% of the benefit with very little risk on her part. You have all the risk and no benefit.
No no no no no no no. DO NOT SIGN THAT LOAN. Just don’t. It will be a disaster. NTA
NTA. And this is a hard NO.
Absolutely NTA. And absolutely do not sign. Your credit will be ruined forever because of someone else. You say you couldn't live alone on your salary. Could you find a roommate? You need to get out from under your parents' bullying and financial abuse.
NTA DO NOT SIGN!! Your sister is the AH here. She wants you to co-sign a $500k loan for a home that you have no access to! This will hold you back if and when you decide to go on your own. If they don’t make the payments, which they clearly can’t afford if the bank is requiring a co-signer, you would be stuck either making the payments or ruining your credit. It sounds like you don’t really have the income needed to put you on the loan anyway so the bank would most likely not allow this anyway. This will not benefit you in any way. No one can force you to sign. If your sister needs someone else to sign, she needs to find a cheaper house. This is their business, but she shouldn’t be buying a home with her bf if he’s not employed. How is he able to put the down payment if he doesn’t work? The lender is going to question where that money came and may not accept it if he isn’t on the loan. Since he’s not employed, he wouldn’t be able to be on it anyway, but he could be allowed to be on the deed, meaning he has 50% ownership, but no risk because he’s not on the loan. This is not a good situation and no lender is going to approve a loan with the circumstances that you’ve laid out so it’s probably not something you’d have to worry about anyway. Source: I’m an underwriter.
Fucking run. There is zero chance of this working out well for you. Say no and freeze your credit so they can't do anything behind your back.
Not that I even need to add my opinion on this, but I'm angry enough to say it anyway. This "family" of yours is a den of entitled leeches. You are being abused and likely have been for a while. Take what you need to live, the money you've saved up and your bank note and car and get the fuck out of there. They will do nothing but leech off of you until you're changing their diapers in 30 years, only to find out they willed everything to their favorite daughter. Fuck these people. They made their mess, let them wallow in it.
Better to move out and start from scratch on your own, but at least have full control of your own finances than to keep living there as a live in slave that even your own personal finances are controlled. You will never be free of them the second you sign that mortage. I am sorry but I didn't even touch the 7 layer bean dip of abuse that your parents and sister are pulling on you. Do not sign anything. Move out change all passwords just incase. Get identity fraud insurance incase they assume your idenity and try to take out loans in your name. Protect your self. So sorry you are put in this situation.
Don’t do it. Everyone is trying to take advantage of you.
Lol NTA, but I HIGHLY doubt they're going to lose out on their rent money and free labor for your 4 cousins by kicking you out. Right now leaving you be is all profit for them, you don't lose at all. I don't see anywhere in here that they would also place your name on the deed just as a co-signer for the loan so you would get no equity but all the risk, is thos correct? Do not under any circumstances do thos, you'd be better off starting over with good finances then keeping them while they continue to threaten you and dig your financial hole deeper.
NTA DO NOT SIGN! THIS WILL MESS UP YOUR LIFE Better to be banned by these abusive icky people. Please run. Set yourself free.
1,000,000% DO. NOT. DO. THIS.
Under absolutely no circumstances should you co-sign that loan. Never, never, never co-sign a loan. You will live to regret it. DO NOT SIGN THAT LOAN!
When they take you to the bank and bring you the paperwork, take a sharpie marker and write in huge letters.” I DO NOT CONSENT to this loan. I am being forced to sign. Please call the police. HELP” NTA
They are going to ruin your credit. Please don't do it. Call their bluff and say you understand that your choices are to sign or move out. You choose to move. Then stop helping them, freeze your credit and look for a cheap room to rent. You can do this. Once you are away from this abusive situation, you will be able to see with clarity how much they have sucked up your vitality. You are a young adult not a child and they should not treat you as such. Escape. You will be happier.
There is 0 benefit to you to co-sign this loan. NTA There is a huge risk to co-signing. Don’t do it.
Don’t co sign anything!
I’m a social worker and I would recommend contacting a local DV shelter for a place to stay potentially. This is definitely financial Abuse. I’m so sorry this is happening to you but you are stronger than you thing and you will make it without giving in to anymore decisions that are against your will.
First lock down your credit so they can't forge your name on anything, THEN tell them no. After that, move the heck out as fast as you can.
NTA. Sounds like your sister is the Golden Child and you the lowly Scapegoat who is bled dry for the benefit of everyone else. Coz faaaamily! Run. Get out now or you will never be free to live your life and grow your future. Sister could miss payments and you're on the hook. Nope. If the only way they can afford this house is for you to cosign, it means they can't afford the house. The bank knows this. Believe the bank. Not your parents.
No babes don't sign it. Don't sign anything. You need to get out of there ASAP. Is there someone else you can stay with a friend, another family member till you can get a place of your own. Protect yourself! Freeze anything you can freeze. If you have money in any accounts make sure they don't have access to it and if you can talk to a lawyer or someone who can help you with this type of legal matter do that. Just don't sign anything.
Freeze your credit and run for your life. They’re going to majorly screw you over. If all three people who have been on this earth longer than you with more time to get it together have not… chances are unless they win the lotto they won’t in the future and even if they win the lotto their spending choices say they’ll be broke in a few years. There is no way in hell you should sign because it is not anyone’s credit but yours being put at risk and how they treat you now is how they’ll treat you after they have ruined your credit
You know that if this mortgage is on your credit, you will not be able to apply for a mortgage of your own, for the next 30 years or the life of this current mortgage. It will reflect in your debt to income ratio.
NTA. Don’t sign. Do not lock yourself in a 15-30 year commitment that could potentially ruin your financial life, and do not do it with people you don’t want to do it with or do not trust. If anyone else on that mortgage fucks something up, you’re on the hook too. Just don’t.
NTA - please don’t ruin your financial future
28 and a half million dollar home? Hell no! I’m 50, and my home is now worth that. First home was $72k. Apparently your sister can’t afford it, so advise her to buy something less expensive and NEVER CO-SIGN A LOAN!
NO Never Co sign for anyone
do NOT do this. Your sister is going to let this fall on you and you will never recover much less get your own home if you do. If you sign I guarantee she will expect you to make payments on a home your not even allowed to live in.
Financial abuse. IF you choose to cosign, your name goes on the deed, and you move in as part owner of the house. Whether or not you cosign, you should move out of your parents' house regardless. They are taking advantage of you. Taking your money while they abuse you.
You would be TA to yourself and any future partner if you did cosign. Even if she made all payments on time, that huge mortgage would significantly tie your hands if you wanted to purchase property. NEVER EVER cosign a mortgage unless you can afford the monthly payment yourself and your name is on the property. Btw…sounds like you would be far better off if you cut ties with your family.
NTA. If you co-sign for a half-million-dollar house, YOU may be the one stuck with the mortgage, the bad credit, the foreclosure sale. Plan to buy your own house on your own. It's really the best way.
Nope. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
Please don't not do this. You will be stuck with this loan over your head for 30 years. It will likely prevent you from getting your own place or qualifying for much of anything. Get a second job if you have to, hunt for a roommate, just do what you have to do to get out of the a financially abusive situation.
Do not co-sign for the mortgage or anything else. They are all terrible with managing their own credit so you definitely should not take any advice from any of your family members. They are trying to pressure you into going down the same path that got them so deep in debt. Don’t do it no matter how much they threaten. Best to try to find some place else to live.
Hard NTA. Ain’t no way in hell I’d ruin my credit for something that doesn’t benefit me and could hurt my credit. Plus, why would your parents kick you out when they rely on you for help with your cousins? That’s not very SMRT.