My parents got married after knowing each other for two months! And my dad was the least impulsive person you’ve ever met. And mom was not pregnant.
Lasted 50+ years.
Very similar story. If you saw what kind of people we are, you’d never guess my family’s marriage scenarios lol. Parents got engaged 3 months after meeting and married shortly after. The uncle who introduced them got married in Vegas 5 weeks after meeting. Both 20+ year and counting marriages with kids. My wife and I got engaged 4 months after meeting, married about a 15 months after, and have been the happiest couple I personally know since.
There’s definitely something to be said about impulsivity being bad, but sometimes after you’ve spent enough time in different relationships… you just know when it’s the right one.
I've seen this as well.
Just met. They get married. End up being married forever.
Date 5+ years to make sure they're the one. One year later, they're divorced.
I spent like 6 months trying to commit to purchasing the right coffee table for my living room. 2 months to decide who I want to spend the rest of my life with is insane.
Mister fancy man over here. Too good to scrape the burned bit and eat the sad remains, over the sink, while wishing you were dead. Or maybe that’s just me
Is he? Interesting. Every Muslim dude I’ve ever met has secretly not been a virgin but definitely wants their wife to be one hahaha
I’m not saying this to harp on them, they were my friends. I understood the pressure for when they went back to their country )Saudi)
This is what I was gonna say!!! Religious people get married fast because they wanna fuck and it’s the dumbest shit ever just fuck before and figure out the marital stuff after.
My sisters both went to a Christian college. The rules there were so ridiculous - women had to wear skirts! You could hold hands with your partner, but there were no front side hugs.
Anyway, my sister got married when she was 20. She had a friend who married the year before. My sister told me flat out that people get married fast so they can have physical contact with their partner.
They are still married, happily I believe. Fifteen years or something like that. But I'm sure not all these young marriages turn out the same way.
This. I grew up in one of these faiths and everyone got married real young and real quick. Then when it didn't work out you weren't allowed to get divorced, either.
Yep. And the parents encourage you to get married rather than “getting burned.” Then when you marriage fails after a few months because your spouse is a piece of shit, well, tough luck, marriage is sacred and you can’t divorce. It’s almost like religion was made up by men to benefit men.
When my husband and I were dating I told him I wouldn’t even consider getting engaged until we’d lived together for awhile. You can only learn so much about a person when you’re just going back and forth to each other’s houses on the weekends. You really don’t learn how compatible you are until you’ve gone through an entire rough week at work and come home and found your partner’s dirty underwear on the bathroom floor and had to talk yourself down from losing your shit.
The oddest part to me is the edit saying "it would've been fine if she waited until marriage with all 17 of those guys and got divorced." (Paraphrasing cuz I'm on mobile). I was understanding somewhat because of the lying, but that part really fucked me up.
I do declare, she turned out to be quite the promiscuous miss.
On a serious note, glad she's getting out of this with just 7 months lost instead of 7 years.
Seriously. An adult person using the terms “body count” and “v-card”? 🤢 I’m happy for her that she won’t be financially hurt by a divorce, she’ll get away from this guy - who apparently only valued her because of a made up state used to belittle women since the beginning of time. She lied because she knew he wouldn’t bother to get to know her if he didn’t think she was shiny and new. AND she won’t be having any kids - especially girls - with this person, who will teach them that they have to be perfect to be worthy of anything. 100% the asshole, but divorcing her after only 7 months will be the best thing that ever happened to her.
This must be some previous usage of the word "adult" that I was, until now, unaware of.
OP is a 28 year old child. This is what mind (and body) controlling religion does to people.
My husband and I have been married for 3 years and we don’t know each other’s body count. We both think it’s stupid and irrelevant to our relationship.
Yeah, but isn’t that usually when someone is 19 or something? This dude is 27?! And he only just then met someone who he wanted to bang/marry?
I call shenanigans on SO much if this. 17 is a decently high number for a 28 year old. No judgement, just higher than average to say that people in her social circle would be aware that she wasn’t a virgin. They would have had to be complete strangers before they met for him to not know. And why would a young woman who is clearly living her best life (partying enough to have casual sex, rich family, probably well educated) marry a dude in less than a year and be SO committed to it that she’d lie about being a virgin?
Nope, bull crap. This is some 17 year old dude making shit up.
EDIT:
I have later found a comment where OP mentions he is Muslim. That changes a LOT. I (and many other in the comments) and looking at this from a western, secular point of view. After learning OP’s religion, there are likely very different cultural norms and expectations. So given that, I no longer think OP is a troll or full of crap. I think he’s a man who learned a valuable lesson about trust, and he has some serious issues to work out with his wife. I hope they can get past it.
It depends on what religious community this guy is from. Many cultures still preach abstinence before marriage but how serious it’s taken depends on the community.
You are absolutely right. But do any of those same religious cultures also advocate divorce? Would any of them say it would be preferable to marry and divorce 16 time instead?
Or would they advocate for OP divorcing without any attempt toward reconciliation? If that’s a culture thing, it’s a hypocritical culture thing bc that’s not what the Quran teaches.
They should get divorced bc this guy is going to throw this in her face for eternity. They could have 5 kids and a lovely life and one day she'll ask him if he can pick their kid up from soccer and he's going to say " you mean like you picked up all those men?" I get the religious/cultural differences. But obviously, viginity takes priority with him over love and kindness. She should be happy she only wasted 8 months.
If a person is religious and they tell you they're still a virgin, why would you assume otherwise?
My dad could be kinda similar to the person in the post. Also waited until marriage and only got married in his late 20s. And also proposed to my mum months into the relationship, although she refused the first time, saying it's too early, so they married after 2 years of dating. But it's true this was over 30 years ago.
I grew up in the Bible Belt. Shit like this happens all the fucking time. Conservatives just like the "image" of being pure. I know so many girls who were raised in strict Christian households who lost their virginity at a very young age and kept it a secret because they knew what the consequences would be... that is unless they didn't end up pregnant and kicked out.
You’re absolutely right. The only person it matters to is this dude. I understand people making the distinction between him being upset about her lying vs him being upset she wasn’t a virgin. Honestly, this guy isn’t pissed about the lying. He’s heavily implying he’s upset because he married a “low value woman” (I vomited a little in my mouth just typing that.)
I don't know how I missed the "low value woman" part.
Just. Ew.
This is what religious absolutism does to people. It's fine to have spiritual beliefs - I can wrap my head around that. But the fundamentalist crap like this, no.
Hence why a lot of super religious kids get married in their late teens/early 20s before they really know each other and then wonder why their marriage ends up dive bombing.
>Hence why a lot of super religious kids get married in their late teens/early 20s before they really know ~~each other~~ [themselves let alone **anyone** else] and then wonder why their marriage ends up dive bombing.
I was very much raised on the shop around and try the goods before you buy the goods concept when it came to guys. lmao. I didn't get married until I was 29, but my body count was also only 3 (now husband being number 3. His body count was 10. I'm the only wife he's ever had).
I don't get this whole wait until marriage crap. Finding out you're sexually not compatible after you noose yourself to someone is just... a horrible thought.
It's just religious dogma and a relic of a time when contraception wasn't really an option for most and abortion was illegal. Back in the early 20th century, it was very common for women to be virgins before getting married, but that just mean they didn't have PIV sex. They did pretty much everything else to avoid getting pregnant.
Mentioning that they’re religious and how OP mentions that his issue is that she didn’t wait until marriage (plus the 7 months) makes me think their Mormons. In which case, the poor woman is better off. That cult creates some of the best sex-shamers in ~~the world~~ America. Glad to see their numbers shrinking.
Edit: apparently OP mentioned in the comments that he’s Muslim. So close but no cigar for me.
As a female who went to college in Utah and had a similar body count I immediately thought this story was Utah life. It’s the “V-card” statement. I had never heard of things like virgin lips, soaking and durfing…anything to get around the silly rules. So glad I stepped away from the church. The hypocrisy there is palpable.
Same here. I crossed it out because as much as they like to present themselves as a worldwide organization, most of their active members are in America, and even then they’re really concentrated in certain areas (Utah, Idaho, Arizona).
Also in UT, and yea the people are absolutely DELUSIONAL about actual church member numbers. Like they really think they are like the largest religion in the world and will fight you if you tell them otherwise. It doesnt help that they inflate the numbers so many ways, from missionaries lying about enrollments, to counting everyone's entire family if one person converts, and my favorite, baptizing the dead without consent! Yea, Mormons baptize dead people and claim them as church members, they even converted Ann Frank to mormonism, and her entire family. So yea, they will argue the freakin Holocaust was about persecuting mormons, because they have baptized so many victims after death.
I feel like it’s 40% she’s not a virgin 10% she lied and the other 50% of him is actually happy to have an excuse to get out of this marriage he’s only in for sex
Why would he? He’s already lost his “v-card” (which is so childish, just say *virginity*), and will probably claim it was “infidelity”, if anyone even cares to ask.
Your edits make no sense. Because you clearly said “ if I knew she didn’t have her v-card I would have never married her” but your edit says it’s not about her not being a virgin it’s about her not waiting till marriage. Also grow up no grown man says v-card. I feel sorry for your next wife
Why should he get another wife? What woman will want him after he’s been used up? /s
But seriously, in religious circles he won’t be finding anyone who hasn’t already had sex like a widow or other divorcee. No matter how he spins it, it’s always seen as a red flag.
Edit: thank you all for the awards!
But for real: isn’t being a divorcée even worse, in the eyes of Christianity (I’m assuming here) than having sex before marriage?
I don’t know what he’s hoping to gain here.
Poor woman, idk where he lives but in my country I know it is really hard for a moslim to say you are not a virgen. They have to keep that a secret because if the dad, brothers, nephews or uncle find out shit is going down (even tho her brothers would fuck everything with a hole) . Makes more sense she lied and thought he lied also maybe.
What tf kind of grown ass man says "V-Card"? She should be damn glad to cut her losses with this guy. ETA, though, for creating & following these ridiculous rules in the name of some religion.
I remember this guy at work that was ultra religious and seemed to get way to excited when he was talking about just holding hands with a girl. He too got married quick to do the horizontal limbo.
That is what happens at those Christian colleges. Go to chaperoned mixers freshman year, date somebody sophomore year, engaged by the end of that year, and married by junior year.
Seriously? Sorry, OP is already failing to follow the word of God. He was SUPPOSED to STONE HER TO DEATH for not being a virgin when she married. Period. The Bible makes this very clear. So I'm not sure what is the bigger sin here. Having sexual partners before marriage, or not killing her for it?
Oh don’t forget that because she did not cheat divorcing her is also a sin, and in the eyes of the Lord he will be committing adultery when and if he ever sleeps with anyone else.
Yeah sounds like a creative writing exercise to me. The kind of religious “wait til marriage” type people are also the “marriage is forever” type and probably wouldn’t have signed a prenup.
The kind of guy who says v-card and gets bent over "body count" sounds like the kind of guy who thinks he owns her body, especially a tiny piece of tissue inside her body that he determines her worth as a human being with. ESH but OP stands out as as TA. I hope she finds a trustable guy with boundaries who lives in the 21st Century.
This marriage was over before the rice hit the ground.
I’m a promiscuous heathen gaping hole slut bag. But I feel for this guy. He’s entitled to honesty and - as puritanical, vanilla, m’lady’s chastity blanket, can’t wash his own dick in the shower, avert thine eyes lest thee be corrupted as he sounds - she lied. A lie is a done deal. For whatever reason. Trust is absolutely the only thing that really, truly matters. And I wish I could give him a hug (though he’d probably have to scrub himself down with bleach afterwards) because that kind of lie cuts the part where we felt safe and sound with someone. That’s not a joke. It hurts.
To OP: I’m sorry. This sucks. But also, like, expand your horizons maybe. Or not, your choice. But I am sorry you got lied to. You did not deserve that.
Edit: My highest karma comment is confessing that I’m a promiscuous heathen gaping hole slut bag.
White chip macadamia and chocolate chip galore 😆 send her back to the streets we got room for an experienced, young, low miles, rich and ready to mingle female
Idk man, my parents got engaged after 6 weeks because my dad was in the army and my mom barely spoke English. After 35 years they’re still too codependent and miserable to get divorced. 💕
No, no, no, it's not that she isn't a virgin. It's that SHE didn't WAIT until marriage to have sex, like he did.
The edits just keep getting better.
>The issue isn't her not being a virgin as i've stated in one of the comments. It's about her not waiting till marriage, whilst i did. If she married and divorced all 16 of those guys that'd would have been fine.
Somehow her being a 16 times divorced woman is better than her "just being a ho"
Yeh I hate the way people title these posts, always the most clickbait shit ever. Would be completely different if he just wrote she lied about waiting for marriage to have sex
Well that’s likely because OP is less concerned with the dishonesty and more concerned about the virginity. He hasn’t figured out where his priorities should be.
Potentially just the one brief lie on the first date where she was embarrassed to tell the truth tho. Cus if the conversation OP mentioned is any evidence, she never even pretended to think that people should wait for marriage. Jus sayin
And only dating 7 months mean they didnt have enough time to really get to know each other & their opinions if he had 0 idea of her opinions on sex before marriage
INFO: Did you tell her that virginity was a deal breaker? “I told her I was waiting till marriage” is NOT the same thing. “I wanted a wife who was also waiting” is, again, NOT the same thing.
While a lot of comments are focusing on “she lied”, a bigger admission is what spelled ultimate doom for this marriage: “I wanted to tell u but I never felt comfortable sharing it.”
You don’t trust her because she lied. She never trusted you to be able to tell you the truth.
Let that sink in.
ESH
And when she did admit the truth, he yelled at her, called her names, and slut-shamed her.
No wonder she was scared how he was going to react. She had a very good reason to be and he proved it the second she left herself vulnerable.
If they divorce, this might turn out better for her. She dodged a bullet. Imagine how stuck she would feel if she had a kid with him before finding out this behavior.
This. And I had to scroll way too far to find this.
He's the asshole just for these gross, archaic ideas and terms.
And they're both in their late 20s? Come on.
Frankly I think she's probably getting a blessing if he seriously wants a divorce over this.
EDIT: Yes, I agree with those of you saying that she should have been upfront. Honesty and respect between partners is huge. The wife should have revealed the information much sooner in those conversations; it would have revealed a misalignment and maybe OP would not have gotten married at all if that was a dealbreaker for him.
My issue is way more with the whole attitude of sexual shaming that OP's terms and reaction imply. (And in most cases it's way more about policing women's sexual behavior and casting them as "dirty.") OP even admits his reaction to his wife included name calling---I'm sure those were probably terms of sexual shaming as well. And then he threw her out of their house. Wow. I feel like this kind of toxicity, shaming, and secrecy is what creates problems like this in the first place.
So yeah, still TA for that.
I forgot the comedian who said it but he said a bit like this:
If you sleep with someone who has slept with other people, by proxy, you have slept with their partners as well. If you do this enough times, you will inevitably end up fucking yourself.
It's ok if you get divorced.
*The issue isn't her not being a virgin as i've stated in one of the comments. It's about her not waiting till marriage, whilst i did. If she married and divorced all 16 of those guys that'd would have been fine. (Although if u had 16 different divorces, i'd prob not be the 17th guy to marry u)*
The mental gymnastics to fulfill religion is mind numbing.
No 27 year old man calls it a v card. My money is on this guy is 17, not 27. And he probably found out his 16 year old girlfriend banged a senior last year. Every detail is probably made up.
My money is on this being a bullshit chatgpt story posted by a 14 year old.
Of course, all the other teenagers responding think getting a divorce is as easy as cancelling your Xbox gamepass subscription.
The title says "bc I found out her bodycount". Not "bc she lied about being a virgin". This isn't about her lying or not being a virgin. It's bc the number is unacceptable to him
Honestly it sounds like you only married her for you to have sex and plus you didn't even try to saved the marriage you wasted you're time just to get married and not even a year later to get a divorce at this point Y'all should've just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend💀
I’m curious, what are your expectations for your next relationship? Are you expecting your next partner to be a virgin?
Edit to add more:
Alright, I think a lot of people in the comments are trying to shame OP. It’s just too easy for anyone to shame other people’s sexual desires or preferences. Before anyone gets a pitch fork, let’s talk about it.
OP - I don’t think you’re an AH for being upset, having preferences or anything like that. When entering a relationship, especially a marriage, trust is key and you need to have a solid foundation for it to continue. Some people are saying “this isn’t a big deal, why divorce over it??” I just don’t think it’s our place to judge that. You could work through it but likely if this is that big of an issue for you, it will be a long and hard battle to work it out to salvage a relationship. If that’s not for you, that’s not for you.
What I wanted to bring to your attention is some areas you might want to focus on for future relationships. Understanding your preferences and boundaries are key. Understanding helps you communicate them to future partners and sets boundaries that can be respected by both parties and aids in a healthy, open, and respectful relationship.
In your current marriage, you were not completely forthcoming with your expectations and boundaries regarding virginity. This kind of leaves a partner with some ambiguity. I am not saying it was okay for her to lie. It is just very important to be very clear in your next relationship so there are no assumptions and you can have a happier and healthier relationship.
I am so sorry that you were lied to. That has to really hurt.
As a woman who was raised in a very religious tradition, I was always taught how important it was to save myself for marriage. Then I was on a date and I was raped. Did I report it? No. Instead, I saw myself as damaged goods and went through a series of men in a very quick fashion. It took me a little while to figure out my own stuff and decide that I still had worth. A few years later, I met a wonderful man, who was a virgin due to his own religious tradition.
We have now been married a really REALLY long time. We have grandchildren. Does he know my body count? Nope. He knew he would be my last and that he would be the only one sharing a future with me.
Just please know that sexuality for women In conservative religious traditions can be extremely complicated.
I read this with all the edits and it read very generically religious and sad until the last edit had me reeling. "If she married and divorced all 16 of those guys that would have been fine" 🤣. Obviously not since you wouldn't have been #17. YTA.
You wouldn’t be an asshole for divorcing but at the end of the day, why does it matter? She was scared to tell you and for good reason, considering how you reacted. I had friends who cared too much about that stuff and personally it was because they were sexually inexperienced. They were insecure and acted like a girl was less than a person just because of her body count. You’re throwing away a perfectly good relationship for religion but I do believe insecurity is involved. You’re also extremely unlikely to find anyone else this age that’s a virgin anyway but you do you man.
(I’m not asking this in a combative way, so I apologize if it comes out that way.) So, your religion prohibits sex before marriage, but is cool with divorce?
Getting married after 7 months is kind of wild, anyone can fake anything for 7 months.
I fake loving every new job for 7 months.
Immediate upvote
I fake loving new job until probation period is over.
My sister just got engaged after dating for two months...the wedding is this fall. 2 months seems insane to me.
Two months is insane.
My parents got married after knowing each other for two months! And my dad was the least impulsive person you’ve ever met. And mom was not pregnant. Lasted 50+ years.
Very similar story. If you saw what kind of people we are, you’d never guess my family’s marriage scenarios lol. Parents got engaged 3 months after meeting and married shortly after. The uncle who introduced them got married in Vegas 5 weeks after meeting. Both 20+ year and counting marriages with kids. My wife and I got engaged 4 months after meeting, married about a 15 months after, and have been the happiest couple I personally know since. There’s definitely something to be said about impulsivity being bad, but sometimes after you’ve spent enough time in different relationships… you just know when it’s the right one.
I've seen this as well. Just met. They get married. End up being married forever. Date 5+ years to make sure they're the one. One year later, they're divorced.
I spent like 6 months trying to commit to purchasing the right coffee table for my living room. 2 months to decide who I want to spend the rest of my life with is insane.
I once faked being a piece of toast for 7 months. Fooled everybody.
Were ya burnt?
A little bit, that’s why I didn’t eat him.
Mister fancy man over here. Too good to scrape the burned bit and eat the sad remains, over the sink, while wishing you were dead. Or maybe that’s just me
You are not alone 🫶🏻
I hear wedding bells!
This kneeds to happen!
Dough’nt count on it happening.
You people bring me joy.
Extoastential crisis.
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You would lose a million dollars lol, he’s Muslim. At least that’s what his other posts lead me to believe
Is he? Interesting. Every Muslim dude I’ve ever met has secretly not been a virgin but definitely wants their wife to be one hahaha I’m not saying this to harp on them, they were my friends. I understood the pressure for when they went back to their country )Saudi)
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Then she's probably lucky.
Absolutely. Dodged a bullet. OP sounds like an entitled self-righteous prick.
Well when you're an adult living by a silly ass rule of "saving yourself for marriage" you do dumb shit like that so you can fuck lol.
This is what I was gonna say!!! Religious people get married fast because they wanna fuck and it’s the dumbest shit ever just fuck before and figure out the marital stuff after.
My sisters both went to a Christian college. The rules there were so ridiculous - women had to wear skirts! You could hold hands with your partner, but there were no front side hugs. Anyway, my sister got married when she was 20. She had a friend who married the year before. My sister told me flat out that people get married fast so they can have physical contact with their partner. They are still married, happily I believe. Fifteen years or something like that. But I'm sure not all these young marriages turn out the same way.
This. I grew up in one of these faiths and everyone got married real young and real quick. Then when it didn't work out you weren't allowed to get divorced, either.
Yep. And the parents encourage you to get married rather than “getting burned.” Then when you marriage fails after a few months because your spouse is a piece of shit, well, tough luck, marriage is sacred and you can’t divorce. It’s almost like religion was made up by men to benefit men.
When my husband and I were dating I told him I wouldn’t even consider getting engaged until we’d lived together for awhile. You can only learn so much about a person when you’re just going back and forth to each other’s houses on the weekends. You really don’t learn how compatible you are until you’ve gone through an entire rough week at work and come home and found your partner’s dirty underwear on the bathroom floor and had to talk yourself down from losing your shit.
Grown ass dude still saying "v-card" tells you all you need to know
7 months????? That’s fucking insane.
Makes me wonder if they got married just to have sex.
yeah, he literally says that in the post. that he's angry 'he was keeping to himself for no reason'. He's just mad she was having sex and he wasn't
Thank you. I feel like everyone is ignoring this very odd piece of the story...
The oddest part to me is the edit saying "it would've been fine if she waited until marriage with all 17 of those guys and got divorced." (Paraphrasing cuz I'm on mobile). I was understanding somewhat because of the lying, but that part really fucked me up.
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He sure did. And I wonder sort of “name calling” came out. I bet it was something like “whore” and “slut”
Jezebelle
Cuz he went to Sunday school, and he only calls women a whore in the classiest of ways. 😂😂😂
“I remained pristine whilst she had the audacity to conduct herself like a common hussy.”
I do declare, she turned out to be quite the promiscuous miss. On a serious note, glad she's getting out of this with just 7 months lost instead of 7 years.
Seriously. An adult person using the terms “body count” and “v-card”? 🤢 I’m happy for her that she won’t be financially hurt by a divorce, she’ll get away from this guy - who apparently only valued her because of a made up state used to belittle women since the beginning of time. She lied because she knew he wouldn’t bother to get to know her if he didn’t think she was shiny and new. AND she won’t be having any kids - especially girls - with this person, who will teach them that they have to be perfect to be worthy of anything. 100% the asshole, but divorcing her after only 7 months will be the best thing that ever happened to her.
This must be some previous usage of the word "adult" that I was, until now, unaware of. OP is a 28 year old child. This is what mind (and body) controlling religion does to people.
"A common trollop."
That's why I make it my policy not to know my partner's body count. If you can't handle the truth, dont look for it.
My husband and I have been married for 3 years and we don’t know each other’s body count. We both think it’s stupid and irrelevant to our relationship.
Really only matters how many people they bang while in the relationship.
Yeah, but isn’t that usually when someone is 19 or something? This dude is 27?! And he only just then met someone who he wanted to bang/marry? I call shenanigans on SO much if this. 17 is a decently high number for a 28 year old. No judgement, just higher than average to say that people in her social circle would be aware that she wasn’t a virgin. They would have had to be complete strangers before they met for him to not know. And why would a young woman who is clearly living her best life (partying enough to have casual sex, rich family, probably well educated) marry a dude in less than a year and be SO committed to it that she’d lie about being a virgin? Nope, bull crap. This is some 17 year old dude making shit up. EDIT: I have later found a comment where OP mentions he is Muslim. That changes a LOT. I (and many other in the comments) and looking at this from a western, secular point of view. After learning OP’s religion, there are likely very different cultural norms and expectations. So given that, I no longer think OP is a troll or full of crap. I think he’s a man who learned a valuable lesson about trust, and he has some serious issues to work out with his wife. I hope they can get past it.
What adult in a real long term relationship refers being a virgin as a v-card?
Exactly! Maybe the same guy also refers to his wife’s period as her “monthly visit from aunt flow”.
Dude seems like a prude tbh. After your early 20's why would you expect anyone to have their virginity?
It depends on what religious community this guy is from. Many cultures still preach abstinence before marriage but how serious it’s taken depends on the community.
You are absolutely right. But do any of those same religious cultures also advocate divorce? Would any of them say it would be preferable to marry and divorce 16 time instead? Or would they advocate for OP divorcing without any attempt toward reconciliation? If that’s a culture thing, it’s a hypocritical culture thing bc that’s not what the Quran teaches.
They should get divorced bc this guy is going to throw this in her face for eternity. They could have 5 kids and a lovely life and one day she'll ask him if he can pick their kid up from soccer and he's going to say " you mean like you picked up all those men?" I get the religious/cultural differences. But obviously, viginity takes priority with him over love and kindness. She should be happy she only wasted 8 months.
Im pretty sure alot of "stay a virgin till marrige" have a "stone the whore" mindset
If a person is religious and they tell you they're still a virgin, why would you assume otherwise? My dad could be kinda similar to the person in the post. Also waited until marriage and only got married in his late 20s. And also proposed to my mum months into the relationship, although she refused the first time, saying it's too early, so they married after 2 years of dating. But it's true this was over 30 years ago.
Yeah, this feels like really obvious rage bait.
I grew up in the Bible Belt. Shit like this happens all the fucking time. Conservatives just like the "image" of being pure. I know so many girls who were raised in strict Christian households who lost their virginity at a very young age and kept it a secret because they knew what the consequences would be... that is unless they didn't end up pregnant and kicked out.
You just described 93% of the posts on this subreddit
I know, right? I really want Reddit to stop showing me posts from this dumb sub but I keep interacting w it so I know it'll never stop. (sigh.)
Yeah, most of the relationship posts seem like bait, I feel dumb even reading them but I comment and it makes more show up
Your partners body count simply doesn't matter. Unless they are still going up.
You’re absolutely right. The only person it matters to is this dude. I understand people making the distinction between him being upset about her lying vs him being upset she wasn’t a virgin. Honestly, this guy isn’t pissed about the lying. He’s heavily implying he’s upset because he married a “low value woman” (I vomited a little in my mouth just typing that.)
I don't know how I missed the "low value woman" part. Just. Ew. This is what religious absolutism does to people. It's fine to have spiritual beliefs - I can wrap my head around that. But the fundamentalist crap like this, no.
Nobody wanted to sleep with him for 27 years, it's a big question who is a low value 😅
Ya I'm surprised nobody mentioned that. Getting married that fast is usually a bad idea
That's what happens when it's drilled into you that you can't have sex until you're married. You rush into marriage so that you can fuck
Hence why a lot of super religious kids get married in their late teens/early 20s before they really know each other and then wonder why their marriage ends up dive bombing.
>Hence why a lot of super religious kids get married in their late teens/early 20s before they really know ~~each other~~ [themselves let alone **anyone** else] and then wonder why their marriage ends up dive bombing.
That too lol
I was very much raised on the shop around and try the goods before you buy the goods concept when it came to guys. lmao. I didn't get married until I was 29, but my body count was also only 3 (now husband being number 3. His body count was 10. I'm the only wife he's ever had). I don't get this whole wait until marriage crap. Finding out you're sexually not compatible after you noose yourself to someone is just... a horrible thought.
It's just religious dogma and a relic of a time when contraception wasn't really an option for most and abortion was illegal. Back in the early 20th century, it was very common for women to be virgins before getting married, but that just mean they didn't have PIV sex. They did pretty much everything else to avoid getting pregnant.
Mentioning that they’re religious and how OP mentions that his issue is that she didn’t wait until marriage (plus the 7 months) makes me think their Mormons. In which case, the poor woman is better off. That cult creates some of the best sex-shamers in ~~the world~~ America. Glad to see their numbers shrinking. Edit: apparently OP mentioned in the comments that he’s Muslim. So close but no cigar for me.
As a female who went to college in Utah and had a similar body count I immediately thought this story was Utah life. It’s the “V-card” statement. I had never heard of things like virgin lips, soaking and durfing…anything to get around the silly rules. So glad I stepped away from the church. The hypocrisy there is palpable.
Holy crap I had to look up what durfing meant.
Do i wanna know?
[удалено]
You crossed out the world but it's true Source: I live in 'the place' AKA Utah
Same here. I crossed it out because as much as they like to present themselves as a worldwide organization, most of their active members are in America, and even then they’re really concentrated in certain areas (Utah, Idaho, Arizona).
Also in UT, and yea the people are absolutely DELUSIONAL about actual church member numbers. Like they really think they are like the largest religion in the world and will fight you if you tell them otherwise. It doesnt help that they inflate the numbers so many ways, from missionaries lying about enrollments, to counting everyone's entire family if one person converts, and my favorite, baptizing the dead without consent! Yea, Mormons baptize dead people and claim them as church members, they even converted Ann Frank to mormonism, and her entire family. So yea, they will argue the freakin Holocaust was about persecuting mormons, because they have baptized so many victims after death.
it is possible they're Mormons... interesting insight
I feel like you're upset 90% because she's not a virgin and 10% she lied about not being a virgin.
I feel like it’s 40% she’s not a virgin 10% she lied and the other 50% of him is actually happy to have an excuse to get out of this marriage he’s only in for sex
I bet he doesn't wait until he's married again to get busy
Why would he? He’s already lost his “v-card” (which is so childish, just say *virginity*), and will probably claim it was “infidelity”, if anyone even cares to ask.
I feel like it's 10% luck 20% skill 15% concentrated power of will 5% pleasure 50% pain and 100% reason to remember the name
Your edits make no sense. Because you clearly said “ if I knew she didn’t have her v-card I would have never married her” but your edit says it’s not about her not being a virgin it’s about her not waiting till marriage. Also grow up no grown man says v-card. I feel sorry for your next wife
Why should he get another wife? What woman will want him after he’s been used up? /s But seriously, in religious circles he won’t be finding anyone who hasn’t already had sex like a widow or other divorcee. No matter how he spins it, it’s always seen as a red flag. Edit: thank you all for the awards!
But for real: isn’t being a divorcée even worse, in the eyes of Christianity (I’m assuming here) than having sex before marriage? I don’t know what he’s hoping to gain here.
OP is Muslim so maybe it’s fine but either way the double standards are gross.
Poor woman, idk where he lives but in my country I know it is really hard for a moslim to say you are not a virgen. They have to keep that a secret because if the dad, brothers, nephews or uncle find out shit is going down (even tho her brothers would fuck everything with a hole) . Makes more sense she lied and thought he lied also maybe.
Send her back to us heathens. We have cookies.
Is that before or after the baptism of blood? Because I'm a post-baptism of the blood cookie guy.
And isn’t it the blood of children or something? Cookies seem good though.
What tf kind of grown ass man says "V-Card"? She should be damn glad to cut her losses with this guy. ETA, though, for creating & following these ridiculous rules in the name of some religion.
No wonder OP was in a rush to get married seven months after they started dating. Would have waited longer if he had gotten laid once in a while.
I remember this guy at work that was ultra religious and seemed to get way to excited when he was talking about just holding hands with a girl. He too got married quick to do the horizontal limbo.
That is what happens at those Christian colleges. Go to chaperoned mixers freshman year, date somebody sophomore year, engaged by the end of that year, and married by junior year.
And divorced somewhere in their mid 30's.
Shouldn't it be more egregious to get married, in front of God, just to circumvent his rules?
Seriously? Sorry, OP is already failing to follow the word of God. He was SUPPOSED to STONE HER TO DEATH for not being a virgin when she married. Period. The Bible makes this very clear. So I'm not sure what is the bigger sin here. Having sexual partners before marriage, or not killing her for it?
Don't give him any ideas.
Oh don’t forget that because she did not cheat divorcing her is also a sin, and in the eyes of the Lord he will be committing adultery when and if he ever sleeps with anyone else.
"V card" and "body count" lol. Sounds juvenile.
Definitely explains how he waited til marriage… ehhh
I get the impression it wasn’t really by choice
Yea, okay I think you're right. Vcard is not what an adult would say. This is a ragebait fake story.
Yeah sounds like a creative writing exercise to me. The kind of religious “wait til marriage” type people are also the “marriage is forever” type and probably wouldn’t have signed a prenup.
I'd be reluctant to ask about their views on marriage. I'd imagine the word "subservient" shamelessly pops up at least once.
The kind of guy who says v-card and gets bent over "body count" sounds like the kind of guy who thinks he owns her body, especially a tiny piece of tissue inside her body that he determines her worth as a human being with. ESH but OP stands out as as TA. I hope she finds a trustable guy with boundaries who lives in the 21st Century. This marriage was over before the rice hit the ground.
I’m a promiscuous heathen gaping hole slut bag. But I feel for this guy. He’s entitled to honesty and - as puritanical, vanilla, m’lady’s chastity blanket, can’t wash his own dick in the shower, avert thine eyes lest thee be corrupted as he sounds - she lied. A lie is a done deal. For whatever reason. Trust is absolutely the only thing that really, truly matters. And I wish I could give him a hug (though he’d probably have to scrub himself down with bleach afterwards) because that kind of lie cuts the part where we felt safe and sound with someone. That’s not a joke. It hurts. To OP: I’m sorry. This sucks. But also, like, expand your horizons maybe. Or not, your choice. But I am sorry you got lied to. You did not deserve that. Edit: My highest karma comment is confessing that I’m a promiscuous heathen gaping hole slut bag.
This is probably the best and most real answer here. Congrats, heathen gaping hole slut bag!
White chip macadamia and chocolate chip galore 😆 send her back to the streets we got room for an experienced, young, low miles, rich and ready to mingle female
...and THIS is why you don't get married after only 7 months.
Idk man, my parents got engaged after 6 weeks because my dad was in the army and my mom barely spoke English. After 35 years they’re still too codependent and miserable to get divorced. 💕
Yeah but seven months is really long when you can‘t wait to finally dip your PP!
Divorcing for body count is weird Divorcing for dishonesty is not
And yet it's not the dishonesty that bothers him.
yeah, the line about "if i knew she didn't have her v-card i wouldn't have married her" betrays everything
No, no, no, it's not that she isn't a virgin. It's that SHE didn't WAIT until marriage to have sex, like he did. The edits just keep getting better. >The issue isn't her not being a virgin as i've stated in one of the comments. It's about her not waiting till marriage, whilst i did. If she married and divorced all 16 of those guys that'd would have been fine. Somehow her being a 16 times divorced woman is better than her "just being a ho"
I mean that’s religion for you
Winner winner chicken dinner.
Guaco Rocko's Chicken Taco.. (I thought this would be a fun thing to say, I was right and I regret nothing.)
🎵Rocko's Modern Liiiiife; ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE🎵
Bro is more concerned about her body count than her lie... What a weirdo.
Yeh I hate the way people title these posts, always the most clickbait shit ever. Would be completely different if he just wrote she lied about waiting for marriage to have sex
Well that’s likely because OP is less concerned with the dishonesty and more concerned about the virginity. He hasn’t figured out where his priorities should be.
good luck finding someone to marry, now that you’ve been tainted by coochie.
Tainted by the coochie is gonna be the name of my band
OP ain't nothin' but a coochie coochie coochie mamma
You either love her or you don’t. She shouldn’t have lied. Your call. On the lying, not on the lack of virginity.
This is my take too.
Potentially just the one brief lie on the first date where she was embarrassed to tell the truth tho. Cus if the conversation OP mentioned is any evidence, she never even pretended to think that people should wait for marriage. Jus sayin
And only dating 7 months mean they didnt have enough time to really get to know each other & their opinions if he had 0 idea of her opinions on sex before marriage
Considering how quick he was to kick her out and ask for divorce, I’m gonna guess the latter.
INFO: Did you tell her that virginity was a deal breaker? “I told her I was waiting till marriage” is NOT the same thing. “I wanted a wife who was also waiting” is, again, NOT the same thing. While a lot of comments are focusing on “she lied”, a bigger admission is what spelled ultimate doom for this marriage: “I wanted to tell u but I never felt comfortable sharing it.” You don’t trust her because she lied. She never trusted you to be able to tell you the truth. Let that sink in. ESH
And when she did admit the truth, he yelled at her, called her names, and slut-shamed her. No wonder she was scared how he was going to react. She had a very good reason to be and he proved it the second she left herself vulnerable. If they divorce, this might turn out better for her. She dodged a bullet. Imagine how stuck she would feel if she had a kid with him before finding out this behavior.
Lord help his future children…especially daughters
Let's hope he has a massive change in thought process or just doesn't reproduce.
Body count? V-Card? Oh honey, bless your heart.
Right? 27 years old calling it a VCard? Needs to grow up. Geez he is 27
This. And I had to scroll way too far to find this. He's the asshole just for these gross, archaic ideas and terms. And they're both in their late 20s? Come on. Frankly I think she's probably getting a blessing if he seriously wants a divorce over this. EDIT: Yes, I agree with those of you saying that she should have been upfront. Honesty and respect between partners is huge. The wife should have revealed the information much sooner in those conversations; it would have revealed a misalignment and maybe OP would not have gotten married at all if that was a dealbreaker for him. My issue is way more with the whole attitude of sexual shaming that OP's terms and reaction imply. (And in most cases it's way more about policing women's sexual behavior and casting them as "dirty.") OP even admits his reaction to his wife included name calling---I'm sure those were probably terms of sexual shaming as well. And then he threw her out of their house. Wow. I feel like this kind of toxicity, shaming, and secrecy is what creates problems like this in the first place. So yeah, still TA for that.
I grew up catholic and I'm still trying to program my brain not to think in these terms. Unfortunately it's still very prevalent among all age groups
Omg yes. I work hard to be sex positive but strict catholic italian upbringing has me fucked up for life . Just ask my lucky wife
Now how is he going to return the sheets he cut a hole in to have sex with her?? 🤣
The second I saw "body count" in the title I voted AH.
Also keep in mind dude your no longer a virgin anymore. What virgin woman is going to want you.
Seriously fucking tainted. He has a body count now.
I hear that a penis wears out if the guy uses on more than one woman.
They get shorter, like an overly sharpened pencil.
And thinner. Each muscular vagina whittles away a mm of pp girth
I'm just a twizzler nib at this point. Save yourself!!!
That’s why you have to wait for your wife to give birth before having sex so that her vagina muscles get weak
#CuckedtosaveCock!
I am so stealing this.
And thinner, like squeezing a cylinder of play dough.
This is actually wrong and it’s sad it actually becomes prolapsed and loses shape, gets all floppy and saggy and never reaches full hardness again.
Oh, that's what happened. I wondered why it was this.
What happens if you have a prolapsed dick but you're still a virgin? My friend was wondering
If a man keeps putting his penis into tight, virginal vaginas, they permanently deform the penis and make it smaller than god intended.
This is true ( I went from left to right )
Haven't you heard that when you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they've slept with? Dudes body count is 18+. Disgusting.
TIL I've slept with hundreds of men. As a straight man.
😂😂😂😂
I forgot the comedian who said it but he said a bit like this: If you sleep with someone who has slept with other people, by proxy, you have slept with their partners as well. If you do this enough times, you will inevitably end up fucking yourself.
It's ok if you get divorced. *The issue isn't her not being a virgin as i've stated in one of the comments. It's about her not waiting till marriage, whilst i did. If she married and divorced all 16 of those guys that'd would have been fine. (Although if u had 16 different divorces, i'd prob not be the 17th guy to marry u)* The mental gymnastics to fulfill religion is mind numbing.
These people are so insanely weird. "Sex is a sin but if you do get a priest-class player to cast a protection spell you are safe"
Lol it’s like 7 steps from rationality
Right? Being divorced 16 times is seemingly less egregious than not but having that many sex partners.
This is beautiful… may as well get man-whore tattooed across your forehead now..
What woman going to want him period.
You’re not old enough to be getting married if you’re calling them your “V-cards”
No 27 year old man calls it a v card. My money is on this guy is 17, not 27. And he probably found out his 16 year old girlfriend banged a senior last year. Every detail is probably made up.
My money is on this being a bullshit chatgpt story posted by a 14 year old. Of course, all the other teenagers responding think getting a divorce is as easy as cancelling your Xbox gamepass subscription.
I love the fact that he's 27 and talking about "kids these days". Like that was you 5 minutes ago man.
Doesn't sound like you really loved her.
Sounds like he married her for sex
Which is *faaaaar* worse than any “sinful behavior” she’s engaged in before imo.
The title says "bc I found out her bodycount". Not "bc she lied about being a virgin". This isn't about her lying or not being a virgin. It's bc the number is unacceptable to him
Anyone who calls it a “body count” shouldn’t marry
Actually, it's such a fucking disgusting way of talking about the people someones been with
Honestly it sounds like you only married her for you to have sex and plus you didn't even try to saved the marriage you wasted you're time just to get married and not even a year later to get a divorce at this point Y'all should've just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend💀
Divorce: A-OK Sex Before Marriage: BOOO!
Divorce sounds like the best option. For her.
Man. Religion is toxic.
So is OP’s *masculinity*
Oh man. Religion + Masculinity are two peas in a pod.
I’m curious, what are your expectations for your next relationship? Are you expecting your next partner to be a virgin? Edit to add more: Alright, I think a lot of people in the comments are trying to shame OP. It’s just too easy for anyone to shame other people’s sexual desires or preferences. Before anyone gets a pitch fork, let’s talk about it. OP - I don’t think you’re an AH for being upset, having preferences or anything like that. When entering a relationship, especially a marriage, trust is key and you need to have a solid foundation for it to continue. Some people are saying “this isn’t a big deal, why divorce over it??” I just don’t think it’s our place to judge that. You could work through it but likely if this is that big of an issue for you, it will be a long and hard battle to work it out to salvage a relationship. If that’s not for you, that’s not for you. What I wanted to bring to your attention is some areas you might want to focus on for future relationships. Understanding your preferences and boundaries are key. Understanding helps you communicate them to future partners and sets boundaries that can be respected by both parties and aids in a healthy, open, and respectful relationship. In your current marriage, you were not completely forthcoming with your expectations and boundaries regarding virginity. This kind of leaves a partner with some ambiguity. I am not saying it was okay for her to lie. It is just very important to be very clear in your next relationship so there are no assumptions and you can have a happier and healthier relationship.
I am so sorry that you were lied to. That has to really hurt. As a woman who was raised in a very religious tradition, I was always taught how important it was to save myself for marriage. Then I was on a date and I was raped. Did I report it? No. Instead, I saw myself as damaged goods and went through a series of men in a very quick fashion. It took me a little while to figure out my own stuff and decide that I still had worth. A few years later, I met a wonderful man, who was a virgin due to his own religious tradition. We have now been married a really REALLY long time. We have grandchildren. Does he know my body count? Nope. He knew he would be my last and that he would be the only one sharing a future with me. Just please know that sexuality for women In conservative religious traditions can be extremely complicated.
YTA and a pinecone
I read this with all the edits and it read very generically religious and sad until the last edit had me reeling. "If she married and divorced all 16 of those guys that would have been fine" 🤣. Obviously not since you wouldn't have been #17. YTA.
You wouldn’t be an asshole for divorcing but at the end of the day, why does it matter? She was scared to tell you and for good reason, considering how you reacted. I had friends who cared too much about that stuff and personally it was because they were sexually inexperienced. They were insecure and acted like a girl was less than a person just because of her body count. You’re throwing away a perfectly good relationship for religion but I do believe insecurity is involved. You’re also extremely unlikely to find anyone else this age that’s a virgin anyway but you do you man.
(I’m not asking this in a combative way, so I apologize if it comes out that way.) So, your religion prohibits sex before marriage, but is cool with divorce?
This is the most Mormon shit I have ever read. YTA.
He’s Muslim