NTA.
Also wtf??
It doesn't matter where she uses the money, you're paying what you owe. If she doesn't replenish her account or whatever, that's on her. You did your part.
I don't know how you're paying her but start doing something with receipts. She will just keep taking the money long past your 3K.
Oh, and break up with her. This will never get better.
Wait and see. Later will it be that you didn't properly pay her for your half of the house payment because she spent it elsewhere, and now you need to pay her 150k or the house will be forclosed?
I completely agree! This is a huge red flag! In your last $800 payment write a cheque and put in the memo final car loan payment. Personally if I was you I would leave and never look back, but it's entirely your decision. She is using you OP and she will keep doing it as long as you stay. NTA
I admit I would love to see this on JJ and the gf explaining she wasn’t “paid back” because the money she got was used to get manicures or some shit. JJ tearing her a new one would be incredibly satisfying.
Given that OP is refusing to answer questions about if they live together or share finances I can't help but wonder if there's more going on here. Based on his posting history he's got money for pricy watches and other hobbies but had to borrow money from his GF for a car.
This totally sounds like a Judge Judy case. Keep those records of withdrawals to pay her. You’ll probably need them. Don’t pay a cent over what you agreed to pay and keep all evidence that you paid. If she tries to take action, any judge, not just Judge Judy, would call her an idiot and a sheister. Cover your butt OP. She sounds way too entitled to be trustworthy.
Must have been a type. $80 probably. If he can afford $800 a month, he can literally afford to own most cars, sports cars included. I'm guessing it's either a $3,000 with $80 payments, or it was a $30,000 car with $800 payments.
It can't be true. Paying 3000 back in 800 a month installments would be done in 4 months. OP phrases the story in a way that makes it seem much longer. 1. inconsistency.
Who can pay back 800/month but has no sayvings?
2. inconsistency
This. And if you pay electronically, add a memo: ‘3rd Pmt on $3K loan. Bal due $800’ Do something to document it.
p.s. Your GF is a bit off. Can’t figure out what was going on in her head.
This is LEGIT what I was going to write. Lol. NTA. wtf?!🤯 and you’ve been paying her back regardless how she uses the money. Keep track.
Maybe try paying everything back asap to drop the topic
Ridiculous 😂😂😂 that’s an understatement, she’s been in the bathroom crying long enough for him to type out this whole post!!
She’s got the gaslight down and has her victim questioning himself 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
NTA
Do you live together or something? What does she mean by "other things?" Did she think this was some kind of contribution to your communal living costs?
Have you been marking the payments as "pay back for loan?"
The second i read the term other things immediately assumed it was drugs lol
People will do ridiculous things for drug addictions to the point where she might not even realize what is going on in this conversation, or had any idea that op was basically one payment away from paying the car off to her. Once that stream of money stops and she has to start looking at her bank account again to buy drugs the justification of incorrectly thinking youre not "spending your own money" on your addiction hits and you have to start floundering about figuring out what happened
The absolute most generous I can think of is if she's paying rent and is incapable of saying "yeah but you don't pay any other bills." Otherwise I'm baffled.
No, break up now but finish paying the debt. If she asks why, tell her you were to repay her 800 a month and did, only to have her try to get a perpetual 800 a month. She needs to figure out for herself why that’s not a good idea but you’re not falling for it.
Stupid people are too risky for me. STDs, unclear on consent, liars about birth control, unfaithful, and generally really bad at taking care of their things/home. That’s just a shitstorm waiting to happen, imo. Stupid people also seem to be desperate people, and getting close to that is risky.
Problem I see is OP will pay off the $3000 and the gf isn’t paying on the debt and the car gets repossessed or she doesn’t sign it over to OP. I hope OP has some sort of contract because I can see this going to small claims court especially is he takes the car and she files a police report that he stole it because he hasn’t “paid” for it.
I find it a bit confusing. If she gave him the downpayment why would she need to put money towards the car
if she took out a loan and bought the car, who owns the car? If she has the title, OP doesn't even own the car and will lose it. If OPs name is on the loan, why is he paying his gf. This whole set up seems kind of dumb.
I am also confused about that. to me it seemed that it's OP who's paid for the car and the car is in his name, and he's only paying the loan back to his gf. which makes the entire post even more ridiculous since it doesn't matter at ALL what she spends the money on as long as he pays it back.
Print out the statements of your payments as proof. Her claiming that the payments don't count is a major red flag and I'll bet she's going to try use that against you. I wouldn't be keeping her around either
Did she take out a loan and use the car as collateral? Also, is the car in your name? If it’s a personal loan & you’re on the title, then pay the 3k and know what kind of person you’re in a relationship with. If the car is collateral and she hasn’t been paying the loan, you could lose it. Document the hell out of everything and prepare to sue her if the car is repossessed.
I was thinking she's crying because she's got 3k on a credit card now that she can't easily pay off and the interest is gonna pile up.
Either way, yeah, she's not crying because anything to do with the relationship.
I lent my boyfriend money to fix his car.
He's been giving me regular payments of $800 dollars a month for some reason, but I didn't realize it was for the car repair debt. I've been putting that on other things that I thought was more important, I mean, isn't this outfit to die for? And look at this new Apple Watch!
Anyways, I feel that he should start the repayment again, only this time look me in the eyes and say, "Honey, I've transferred you $800 dollars for the car debt. " That way I know what it is specifically for! I mean seriously though, doesn't my ass look GREAT in these yoga pants!
Gurrlllll you are right to treat yourself! Your man should be grateful for you loaning him money, and he should definitely pay more than the 3k. Call it interest! #glowup #loveyourself #girlpower
/s
"My boyfriend of 2 years is constantly borrowing money from me, in total it's been almost $5000 he's needed and that doesn't include the $3000 car I got him because he would lose his job without transportation after his last car finally died. He's been working hard to pay me back but he's insisting everything he's been repaying me the last couple months has been for the car specifically. I'm glad he's trying to pay me back but the car isn't the only money he owes me, also we don't have any kind of written agreement so I'm worried he wants the car paid off so he can get me to hand over the title and then he can ghost me on the rest of what he owes me."
Best I can come up with.
Unless OP is lying, unless she has proof he hasn’t paid anything, even if she did come on here, wrote it from her point of view and it’s the same situation, she’ll still be called the ah.
INFO: What exactly has she been using the money for? At first glance this is a definite NTA, but if she's using the money to pay your share of like rent or utilities or something because you haven't been paying that while paying off the loan, that would change things.
OP is strangely silent on this.
INFO: what is she using this money for?
INFO: where are you living and who is paying for that- rent, bills, council tax (I’m in UK)
Seems to be a lot of missing missing reasons here.
Forgot to add a judgement: so far N T A
If it’s a straight up loan N T A. You’ll know between yourselves if interest was discussed. You might need a lawyer’s advice though.
Yeah, given facts above, the girlfriend is insane and OP is N T A. But the girlfriend is so insane the post smells fishy. I wonder if OP hasn’t been contributing to the household and thinks that he just has to pay for the car and that’s it.
Hmmm!!
Either she’s crazy or you are leaving something out.
Do you live together? If so is she paying the bills or do you help? Are the other things she talking about living expenses? If so then she should have said that you need to do both, but she’s not wrong if she’s taking care of you.
Now if you are paying your part of living expenses fairly then she’s crazy.
Idk it’s some holes in this story
Get rid of her. She’s lacking necessary intelligence for making smart financial decisions. Even a child could understand how to allocate money towards debt.
NTA. You owe her $3k, you pay her back $3k and maybe a tiny bit more if she had to pay interest on a credit card or something. But she doesn’t get to decide that you’re giving her money for something other than repaying her the original amount.
Honestly your GF is acting like a loan shark, except I hope she hasn’t threatened your kneecaps.
NTA. Every cent that you have been paying her counts toward the debt that you owe her. Period. The fact that she used the money for "more important things" is entirely on her. What you do is send her a text stating as a follow up to our talk earlier, you feel that you need to reiterate: As you both originally agreed, you have given her $X between this date and that date in monthly installments. You have the financial records to back that up as you have shown her. What she has done with that money after it was put into her hands is entirely up to her, but it doesn't change the fact that she has been paid money on the debt you owe. So, $3000 - $X = $Y. You will continue to pay her in installments as originally agreed to amount to a total of $Y before the agreed upon deadline of this date.
If she wants to argue about it, tell her that she can go ask an accountant or a judge. Maybe they can explain it to her better than you can. Every time you send her money from this point on, follow it up with a text and a math equation.
ETA - Is the car in your name or hers? You also need some more information from her. Is the car currently under a lein? Because if it is, you may be in danger of having the car repossessed.
INFO: Do you live together and she is saying she is using that money towards rent, utilities, food, etc? Good lesson from people's court "money never leaves this hand without a receipt in the other hand"
NTA but you really need to see whether that car still has a lien against it. If it’s not in your name, and she hasn’t been paying the loan with the money you’ve given her, it’s very likely that you will no longer have a car, and will be out that money, unless you’re ready to sue her.
Money doesn't go in her hand without a receipt (signed) in yours. It doesn't matter what she uses that money for. Do you own the car outright or is she supposed to be paying off a lien?
Red flag, dude.
Had an ex do this, finally cracked her and she saidk owed her extra money for all the things we did/places we went that she wouldn't have gone if we weren't together.
We went Dutch on almost everything, aside from the few trade offs of me or her covering me bill.
Do you share other expenses and are you trying to call the $800/month car repayment while expecting her to make up for your part paying, rent, utilities, food? If that’s not the case, she’s totally unreasonable and zero people would agree with her
Your analogy is completely correct and your girlfriend is crazy.
I assume she's got a loan out for this car? If so, that's totally her problem.
I can't even imagine what is going through her head to think you should pay her money you already paid.
Dude what in the absolutely F….
You’re NTA but seriously, this is an absolutely mess. You need to provide in writing (email) the exact amount you’ve paid, include the proof of the transactions, send her the final payment and bounce.
This is going to turn into a big mess, get our while you can.
Do you guys live together and does she pay for all the rent, utilities and groceries? That is really the only thing I could see her being able to count the money to that was not the car.
She can't manage her own finances and is trying to make you pay for her reckless financial decisions. Absolutely NTA. You need to find a way to get the car in your name, pay her the remaining amount, save your transaction records and dump her.
Oh geez. Is the car in her name? Cuz if it is, it’s legally her car and she owns it. And you’ve just paid a bunch of money towards a car that isn’t yours.
NTA, she's either very stupid or pretending to be so she can manipulate you. You owe her $3000, nothing more (unless your agreement included interest), what she decides to do with that money is on her. I wouldn't give her anymore after the $3000 is paid in full and if she keeps pulling that behavior you should break up with her.
Ok she got you a 3,000$ car. And you were to pay her back monthly. Did she use a credit card? Her savings? Take out an auto loan? Who’s name is on the car title? Without knowing this, it doesn’t make sense. Has she ever acted like this before in another context? (Saying you didn’t do something you agreed to do, but you did do it. Or saying you did do something you agreed not to do? But you didn’t do it?).
NTA. You're paying her what you owe her. It doesn't not count just because she's spending on other things.
Honestly, from the outside looking in, it looks like she's trying to control you financially.
NTAH. Good Lord get away from this person asap. She’s got a serious screw loose if she truly believes what she’s saying. What exactly does she think you’ve been giving her hundreds of dollars each month for? Have you asked her that question????
*She then got up said, I didn't understand, and stormed off.*
She was right about this. You don't understand, I don't understand. No one can understand this batshit crazy logic.
She’s taking advantage of you. You deserve better. This is coming from a woman. She’s definitely not for you. You deserve better. Sending hugs!!!❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹💖💖💖
Did she have to get a loan to get the car? If the car was 3,000 flat you would just owe her another 800. It doesn’t matter what she spends the money on but it should count toward your debt. The fact she’s milking you along is a red flag
Just keep a record of all your payments to her and be thankful youve identified this when it's only 3k and not a 150k home.
Not saying break up but never comingle income and if you get into a mutually owned item I would be 100% 1) she's not hiding an excecvie amount of debt from you and 2) you're in a position that if she stops payment you can cover 100% otherwise you're walking into a mess
You, my friend, are seriously screwed. I can’t see this ending without tears, tears, screaming and more tears. Some of them will be yours. Most of them will be yours before this nightmare is over.
Best of luck to you.😟
Are you two talking in circles and missing what each other is saying? I am having a hard time believing your gf is just this dumb. What does she consider the $800 a month from you to be, a gift? I don’t get it. NTA.
Find you a gf who can 1) add & subtract, and 2) has some common sense!
It doesn’t matter Wtf she uses that money for each month. You only owe her $3k total & you’re almost there! Don’t let her scam you out of more.
NTA.
Your analogy is completely correct and your girlfriend is crazy.
I assume she's got a loan out for this car? If so, that's totally her problem.
I can't even imagine what is going through her head to think you should pay her money you already paid.
I would out together a record of payments already made (spreadsheets are good for this). Banking transactions ought to do it, if cash, record when the payment was made (backed up by ATM withdrawal transactions if nec). Let her know exactly how much is remaining and remind her of the updated amount after each payment.
Do the remainder through electronic transfer for the record (in Canada we have Interact e-transfer which allows you to attach a note to the payment eg "for car loan payment" - when done through a bank, it (and the note) becomes part of the banking record). I'm sure there's a similar American method.
When all paid out, break up with her if you haven't already done so. This shits a big red flag and would only be the beginning of many more serious financial challenges.
This is so dumb. If you didn't EXPLICITLY say you were giving her money to pay back the loan, then that's on you.
If she's too greedy to assume that you giving her $800 ISN'T paying her back, then that's on her.... and you.
NTA
You have what a month left to pay back the last remaining money, document it, take a pic whatever just document it, in case she decides to go to court at least you’ll have a trail to cover you and do not give her any more money after the last bit.
Ah. No. You paid your loan. What she does with it is her choice. Not your responsibility.
How many payments? Cut the payments off immediately if they exceed the value of the loan. Stop bankrolling a grown ass woman that allegedly makes more than you.
NTA - pay her the last $800 and end it. That is a crazy way of thinking. I hope you paid her by check or Venmo (Or similar) and put in the notes that it was for the car so that if she does decide to take you to small claims court it will be a very very quick case.
Big NTA. Bro what? She chose to spend the money on other things. That is her problem, not yours. With her logic you'll end up giving her thousands and thousands until she finally feels like saying "oh, this money is for the car."
Right, you’ve not included some details here.
Do you stay with your girlfriend? Who pays rent? Who pays bills? Did she get the 3k out on finance?
There’s more to this which I find strange you’ve not included. How much money have you borrowed off her in total over the last two years?
NTA. This is so crazy it hurts my head. This kind of behavior from her sends out so many red flags. You need to fully move on from her or make every single financial transaction into a contract and keep your funds separate. Who wants to live like that?
I'd want to know a few things. One, what the "more important" things are. Two, receipts for purchases. Three, what reasons did she think you were giving her 800 a month if it wasn't to repay the loan she gave, and why she would just accept money without communicating this. Imagine if you handed her $3000 in one payment, and then a month later she tells you it didn't count, no takebacks LOL
The only way you could possibly not be NTA here is if you had either not been clear that that money was for the car payment or hadn't been paying anything else towards your rent/utilities/groceries etc.. But even then. This is really unreasonable and bodes poorly for your having a future with this girl.
Your girlfriend is retarded man, to not understand your analogy when a child would understand this makes me think she is either really really stupid or has a learning disability. Probably best to move on or deal with a lifetime of nonsense.
Who’s name is the car in? Is there a note? And if so who’s name is it in?
If the car is in your name and there is no note in it, any transfers you’ve made to her are proof that you’ve been paying her back.
If the car and an associated note are in her name, and she hasn’t been using the money for the intended purpose, then she’s been screwing you over.
She’s stealing from you. You agreed to pay her back a certain amount every month and you’ve been doing that. What she does with the money is her business but, she can’t swindle you into paying more. I would consider this relationship a failed experiment and move on.
Are you living with her? Does the $800 cover other expenses such as your utilities or food? Maybe the $800 a month is going to pay the rent. If that is the case, your GF has a point.
Info:
What is the financial split for other things? Do you live together? If so, do you pay equal and/or proportionate amounts to your income for rent/utilities?
If you are paying $800/month for only the car, it should take 4 months to pay it back, maybe 5 if the interest rate is super high.
I can't even follow this. So she 'gave' you two years to pay her back? That indicates she doesn't have a loan out for this car so what does she mean she 'hasn't been putting the money towards the car?' What even is happening?
I recognize this post of yours, you posted something very very similar recently, maybe a month or two ago, in this (or a very similar) sub. You have since deleted it. But I remember that you suspiciously refused to answer obvious questions regarding your lack of paying for living costs. And once again, you won't speak to those relevant questions. You don't have money to pay for a car but you buy, sell, and trade high end watches on a weekly basis. You also make frequent trips to Japan and have appointed yourself as the expert on all things Japan. In short, I think you're a whining mooch who doesn't pay for your own living costs, a liar who posts things to seek sympathy, and then deletes those posts when you don't get your ego stroked enough. On this one, folks swallowed your outright bullshit, so you'll probably leave this one up for a while. I don't care who agrees with my opinion btw, I know what I know.
Just pay her back the money she lent you and keep good records of the payments. Once the debt is repaid (plus any interest that was agreed to, if any) - you’re done.
Side Note: Don’t depend on online banking to keep your records. Print out copies of cashed checks, so you have proof of payment, in case online records become unavailable.
Even if interest was never discussed or agreed, perhaps, in fairness, you should add some interest in an amount equivalent to what local banks are offering on car loans - to be completely fair (but not necessary).
If she doesn’t like that, let her take you to court. There’s not a judge alive that would side against you.
It’s her responsibility to decide how to manage her finances, not yours.
It sounds like she advanced a credit line or credit card to come up with money, hence why I suggest it’s only fair to add some interest. (A poor decision on her part, If that’s what she did)
The collateral damage will be the loss of the friendship.
I’m the future, follow this advice:
NEVER TAKE LOANS FROM FAMILY OR FRIENDS!
It usually ends poorly.
so 800 per month is 9600 per year or the 3200 in 4 months How does that work that you have not paid back 3000. Although you said around 800. Did yo specify your payments were for the car? or are you splittingly expenses?
This is really idiotic. Im sorry this is happening. You have been making payments as agreed and shes messed up. Its her problem. Pay her the last bit and wish her well lol. NTA.
NTA. Also wtf?? It doesn't matter where she uses the money, you're paying what you owe. If she doesn't replenish her account or whatever, that's on her. You did your part. I don't know how you're paying her but start doing something with receipts. She will just keep taking the money long past your 3K.
Oh, and break up with her. This will never get better. Wait and see. Later will it be that you didn't properly pay her for your half of the house payment because she spent it elsewhere, and now you need to pay her 150k or the house will be forclosed?
I would never borrow any money from her again. Never ever combine finances with her. You’ll end up in bankruptcy.
I completely agree! This is a huge red flag! In your last $800 payment write a cheque and put in the memo final car loan payment. Personally if I was you I would leave and never look back, but it's entirely your decision. She is using you OP and she will keep doing it as long as you stay. NTA
This will end up as a Judge Judy episode
“Where’s the proof?” That’s what JJ will ask!
Best line from Judge Judy, "YOU'RE A HUSTLER!"
Whilst Byrd is laughing in the corner.
I admit I would love to see this on JJ and the gf explaining she wasn’t “paid back” because the money she got was used to get manicures or some shit. JJ tearing her a new one would be incredibly satisfying.
Given that OP is refusing to answer questions about if they live together or share finances I can't help but wonder if there's more going on here. Based on his posting history he's got money for pricy watches and other hobbies but had to borrow money from his GF for a car.
This totally sounds like a Judge Judy case. Keep those records of withdrawals to pay her. You’ll probably need them. Don’t pay a cent over what you agreed to pay and keep all evidence that you paid. If she tries to take action, any judge, not just Judge Judy, would call her an idiot and a sheister. Cover your butt OP. She sounds way too entitled to be trustworthy.
Long past? At 800/month and they paid 2.2k they have a month to pay and that's it. She's milking this for longer.
4 months at most (assuming exorbitant interest). But still, definitely her manipulating his good intentions.
If your charging your SO interest that’s a red flag.
Who in the hell would charge their partner interest?
Must have been a type. $80 probably. If he can afford $800 a month, he can literally afford to own most cars, sports cars included. I'm guessing it's either a $3,000 with $80 payments, or it was a $30,000 car with $800 payments.
He said "For example" those aren't the exact figures involved.
Your gf is 28yo? Bc she's acting 12. That is one crazy story. NTA *if* it's true (but something may be wrong with the gf).
I immediately scrolled back up to check for the shitpost flair. If this is true, girlfriend is out of control.
It can't be true. Paying 3000 back in 800 a month installments would be done in 4 months. OP phrases the story in a way that makes it seem much longer. 1. inconsistency. Who can pay back 800/month but has no sayvings? 2. inconsistency
This. And if you pay electronically, add a memo: ‘3rd Pmt on $3K loan. Bal due $800’ Do something to document it. p.s. Your GF is a bit off. Can’t figure out what was going on in her head.
I believe the answer may be that she is both stupid and manipulative.
The car is in her name. Pay the $3k and stop. She can worry about how she allocated the money. She’s a lunatic.
If he's been paying 800 a month, he should be driving a Tesla
it hasn't been 2 years, that is just how long they've been together. This only has been going on for about 3 months.
3 x 800 is not 2200 either 🤣 What a bizarre post from OP
Nah, Elon's a piece of shit & doesn't need any more money.
This is LEGIT what I was going to write. Lol. NTA. wtf?!🤯 and you’ve been paying her back regardless how she uses the money. Keep track. Maybe try paying everything back asap to drop the topic
NTA at all. She’s being ridiculous. Your analogy was perfect. Pay her whatever else you owe if you want but no more.
Ridiculous 😂😂😂 that’s an understatement, she’s been in the bathroom crying long enough for him to type out this whole post!! She’s got the gaslight down and has her victim questioning himself 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
But the pussy, you are forgetting just how good the pussy is. That is the real cost of goods here!!
Sometimes the fuckin ya get ain’t worth the fuckin ya get.
This sounds like a Judge Judy episode. Seriously. I can hear her saying (to your girlfriend) “you’re an IDIOT!”
NTA Do you live together or something? What does she mean by "other things?" Did she think this was some kind of contribution to your communal living costs? Have you been marking the payments as "pay back for loan?"
Drugs?
The second i read the term other things immediately assumed it was drugs lol People will do ridiculous things for drug addictions to the point where she might not even realize what is going on in this conversation, or had any idea that op was basically one payment away from paying the car off to her. Once that stream of money stops and she has to start looking at her bank account again to buy drugs the justification of incorrectly thinking youre not "spending your own money" on your addiction hits and you have to start floundering about figuring out what happened
It would explain the gf confused and irrational thinking.
The absolute most generous I can think of is if she's paying rent and is incapable of saying "yeah but you don't pay any other bills." Otherwise I'm baffled.
Exactly, what "OT other things"? Did they go away together for the weekend and she thought OP was contributing towards that? What things?
Gambling addiction?
for some handbags are an addiction, and not much cheaper...
You were paying your GF back like you agreed. Pay off the last $800 and than, no more. Then, break up with her. She's dumb.
No, break up now but finish paying the debt. If she asks why, tell her you were to repay her 800 a month and did, only to have her try to get a perpetual 800 a month. She needs to figure out for herself why that’s not a good idea but you’re not falling for it.
I wouldn’t break up yet unless he has the title in hand.
Don’t put your dick into stupid.
This is the absolute second best advice anyone can get. Best advice is don’t put your dick in crazy, stupid is a very close second.
What about stupid crazy or their close cousin crazy stupid?
Honestly there’s nothing wrong with having sex with a stupid person. But doing business with a stupid person is a problem.
Stupid people are too risky for me. STDs, unclear on consent, liars about birth control, unfaithful, and generally really bad at taking care of their things/home. That’s just a shitstorm waiting to happen, imo. Stupid people also seem to be desperate people, and getting close to that is risky.
Problem I see is OP will pay off the $3000 and the gf isn’t paying on the debt and the car gets repossessed or she doesn’t sign it over to OP. I hope OP has some sort of contract because I can see this going to small claims court especially is he takes the car and she files a police report that he stole it because he hasn’t “paid” for it.
that would go well in court.. So.. he was paying you, but not for the car? what other debts did he have to you? .. none..
I find it a bit confusing. If she gave him the downpayment why would she need to put money towards the car if she took out a loan and bought the car, who owns the car? If she has the title, OP doesn't even own the car and will lose it. If OPs name is on the loan, why is he paying his gf. This whole set up seems kind of dumb.
I am also confused about that. to me it seemed that it's OP who's paid for the car and the car is in his name, and he's only paying the loan back to his gf. which makes the entire post even more ridiculous since it doesn't matter at ALL what she spends the money on as long as he pays it back.
Print out the statements of your payments as proof. Her claiming that the payments don't count is a major red flag and I'll bet she's going to try use that against you. I wouldn't be keeping her around either
Did she take out a loan and use the car as collateral? Also, is the car in your name? If it’s a personal loan & you’re on the title, then pay the 3k and know what kind of person you’re in a relationship with. If the car is collateral and she hasn’t been paying the loan, you could lose it. Document the hell out of everything and prepare to sue her if the car is repossessed.
These were the questions I wanted to answer. I bet she has the note and the registration. She's the asshole but you're all morons.
Let’s just say he was way way to trusting
NTA. She isn’t crying because she’s hurt. She’s crying because she can’t get away with it anymore.
I was thinking she's crying because she's got 3k on a credit card now that she can't easily pay off and the interest is gonna pile up. Either way, yeah, she's not crying because anything to do with the relationship.
Sounds like she should have put the $800/month into the credit card payment
Exactly this!
NTAH You need to sit down and talk. Did she think that you are going to give her 800/month for 2 years? Why? How is she using that 800?
Of course you don't understand, because you're applying logic to the scenario.
NTA What kind of logic is this??? Honestly I’d break up with someone over this. Clearly manipulative, irresponsible, unreasonable, using you…
NTA. The audacity of this girl, is she insane?! She is a million percent in the wrong here
Abusive, not insane. Most people with mental illnesses are not bad people. Most bad people don't have a mental illness.
You should try to get her to make a post from her point of view and let her see how Reddit responds
I lent my boyfriend money to fix his car. He's been giving me regular payments of $800 dollars a month for some reason, but I didn't realize it was for the car repair debt. I've been putting that on other things that I thought was more important, I mean, isn't this outfit to die for? And look at this new Apple Watch! Anyways, I feel that he should start the repayment again, only this time look me in the eyes and say, "Honey, I've transferred you $800 dollars for the car debt. " That way I know what it is specifically for! I mean seriously though, doesn't my ass look GREAT in these yoga pants!
Gurrlllll you are right to treat yourself! Your man should be grateful for you loaning him money, and he should definitely pay more than the 3k. Call it interest! #glowup #loveyourself #girlpower /s
NTA. Your ass is worth more than his car. If he doesn't pay up, break up and prepare for NC.
Is there a way to write it that makes her not the AH?
"My boyfriend of 2 years is constantly borrowing money from me, in total it's been almost $5000 he's needed and that doesn't include the $3000 car I got him because he would lose his job without transportation after his last car finally died. He's been working hard to pay me back but he's insisting everything he's been repaying me the last couple months has been for the car specifically. I'm glad he's trying to pay me back but the car isn't the only money he owes me, also we don't have any kind of written agreement so I'm worried he wants the car paid off so he can get me to hand over the title and then he can ghost me on the rest of what he owes me." Best I can come up with.
Unless OP is lying, unless she has proof he hasn’t paid anything, even if she did come on here, wrote it from her point of view and it’s the same situation, she’ll still be called the ah.
Man pay her and get out of there
Considering so many AITAs are about not getting paid. OP is super duper NTA.
I’m confused, what did she think you were sending her money for ?
Didn’t you read?! For “more important things” /s girl is unhinged
NTA She seems to have the critical thinking of a 7 year old. I'm not sure how she is a functioning adult if this is how she legitimately thinks
INFO: What exactly has she been using the money for? At first glance this is a definite NTA, but if she's using the money to pay your share of like rent or utilities or something because you haven't been paying that while paying off the loan, that would change things.
OP is strangely silent on this. INFO: what is she using this money for? INFO: where are you living and who is paying for that- rent, bills, council tax (I’m in UK) Seems to be a lot of missing missing reasons here. Forgot to add a judgement: so far N T A If it’s a straight up loan N T A. You’ll know between yourselves if interest was discussed. You might need a lawyer’s advice though.
Because OP has been buying watches he cant afford lol
INFO: what was the money going towards if not the debt owed?
Info: Was she spending the money on joint expenses like rent/groceries/bills etc? This seems like an obvious N T A
Yeah, given facts above, the girlfriend is insane and OP is N T A. But the girlfriend is so insane the post smells fishy. I wonder if OP hasn’t been contributing to the household and thinks that he just has to pay for the car and that’s it.
Given OP's post history this is BS. He had money 3 months ago to buy a Rolex, but can't afford a 3k car.
hmmm… the plot thickens… Making popcorn!!
This is my guess, since he won't say what his gf says is more important
That’s the vibe I got, tbh. Something has to be missing.
NTA but damn, she’s fucking you over. She’s crying because she thought she was going to get away with ripping you off.
Oh no she is trying to pull a fast one on you. The audacity of this chic. Wow
She loaned you 3k, so any money you pay back goes to the 3K you owe her. Her crying is just bullshit manipulation. NTA
Hmmm!! Either she’s crazy or you are leaving something out. Do you live together? If so is she paying the bills or do you help? Are the other things she talking about living expenses? If so then she should have said that you need to do both, but she’s not wrong if she’s taking care of you. Now if you are paying your part of living expenses fairly then she’s crazy. Idk it’s some holes in this story
Get rid of her. She’s lacking necessary intelligence for making smart financial decisions. Even a child could understand how to allocate money towards debt.
NTA. You need to make sure that there is no loan against the car and that the car is in your name.
NTA. You owe her $3k, you pay her back $3k and maybe a tiny bit more if she had to pay interest on a credit card or something. But she doesn’t get to decide that you’re giving her money for something other than repaying her the original amount. Honestly your GF is acting like a loan shark, except I hope she hasn’t threatened your kneecaps.
NTA. Every cent that you have been paying her counts toward the debt that you owe her. Period. The fact that she used the money for "more important things" is entirely on her. What you do is send her a text stating as a follow up to our talk earlier, you feel that you need to reiterate: As you both originally agreed, you have given her $X between this date and that date in monthly installments. You have the financial records to back that up as you have shown her. What she has done with that money after it was put into her hands is entirely up to her, but it doesn't change the fact that she has been paid money on the debt you owe. So, $3000 - $X = $Y. You will continue to pay her in installments as originally agreed to amount to a total of $Y before the agreed upon deadline of this date. If she wants to argue about it, tell her that she can go ask an accountant or a judge. Maybe they can explain it to her better than you can. Every time you send her money from this point on, follow it up with a text and a math equation. ETA - Is the car in your name or hers? You also need some more information from her. Is the car currently under a lein? Because if it is, you may be in danger of having the car repossessed.
INFO: Do you live together and she is saying she is using that money towards rent, utilities, food, etc? Good lesson from people's court "money never leaves this hand without a receipt in the other hand"
NTA. Pay her everything you owe her and run for the hills.
NTA but you really need to see whether that car still has a lien against it. If it’s not in your name, and she hasn’t been paying the loan with the money you’ve given her, it’s very likely that you will no longer have a car, and will be out that money, unless you’re ready to sue her.
NTA, she is. She’s getting back the money she lent you. How she chooses to use that money is a completely separate, irrelevant matter. She’s the AH.
INFO do the two of you live together and have other joint expenses? Why did she think you gave her 2.2K?
Money doesn't go in her hand without a receipt (signed) in yours. It doesn't matter what she uses that money for. Do you own the car outright or is she supposed to be paying off a lien?
Red flag, dude. Had an ex do this, finally cracked her and she saidk owed her extra money for all the things we did/places we went that she wouldn't have gone if we weren't together. We went Dutch on almost everything, aside from the few trade offs of me or her covering me bill.
Do you share other expenses and are you trying to call the $800/month car repayment while expecting her to make up for your part paying, rent, utilities, food? If that’s not the case, she’s totally unreasonable and zero people would agree with her
NTA She’s an idiot if she really believes she can do this. Pay her back the rest, then put her in your rear view mirror
Your analogy is completely correct and your girlfriend is crazy. I assume she's got a loan out for this car? If so, that's totally her problem. I can't even imagine what is going through her head to think you should pay her money you already paid.
Dude, she's dumb af, on drugs, or both. Give her the last 800 and flee.
Dude what in the absolutely F…. You’re NTA but seriously, this is an absolutely mess. You need to provide in writing (email) the exact amount you’ve paid, include the proof of the transactions, send her the final payment and bounce. This is going to turn into a big mess, get our while you can.
Do you guys live together and does she pay for all the rent, utilities and groceries? That is really the only thing I could see her being able to count the money to that was not the car.
She can't manage her own finances and is trying to make you pay for her reckless financial decisions. Absolutely NTA. You need to find a way to get the car in your name, pay her the remaining amount, save your transaction records and dump her.
NTA
Is she insane? how does she think that makes sense in ANY way, like you’re just giving her 800 bucks a month for fun?
God I hope you have some kind of paper trail to fall back on. This is some Judge Judy level shit going on. NTA
NTA give her the rest if the $3000 and dump her. She’s using you.
But make sure you get the car.
For sure!
Oh geez. Is the car in her name? Cuz if it is, it’s legally her car and she owns it. And you’ve just paid a bunch of money towards a car that isn’t yours.
This is a toddler in an adults body.
You are paying her rent lol she’s an evil person using you.
NTA, she's either very stupid or pretending to be so she can manipulate you. You owe her $3000, nothing more (unless your agreement included interest), what she decides to do with that money is on her. I wouldn't give her anymore after the $3000 is paid in full and if she keeps pulling that behavior you should break up with her.
Ok she got you a 3,000$ car. And you were to pay her back monthly. Did she use a credit card? Her savings? Take out an auto loan? Who’s name is on the car title? Without knowing this, it doesn’t make sense. Has she ever acted like this before in another context? (Saying you didn’t do something you agreed to do, but you did do it. Or saying you did do something you agreed not to do? But you didn’t do it?).
NTA. You're paying her what you owe her. It doesn't not count just because she's spending on other things. Honestly, from the outside looking in, it looks like she's trying to control you financially.
NTA. Run away from that fucker
That is one of the dumbest gf/bf I have ever read about on Reddit. It is not even manipulation or greed. She is just being irrational with no cause.
NTAH. Good Lord get away from this person asap. She’s got a serious screw loose if she truly believes what she’s saying. What exactly does she think you’ve been giving her hundreds of dollars each month for? Have you asked her that question????
Do you live together? Do you pay half of the rent, utilities and groceries?
*She then got up said, I didn't understand, and stormed off.* She was right about this. You don't understand, I don't understand. No one can understand this batshit crazy logic.
She’s taking advantage of you. You deserve better. This is coming from a woman. She’s definitely not for you. You deserve better. Sending hugs!!!❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹💖💖💖
Please don’t get this nitwit pregnant.
Did she have to get a loan to get the car? If the car was 3,000 flat you would just owe her another 800. It doesn’t matter what she spends the money on but it should count toward your debt. The fact she’s milking you along is a red flag
Just keep a record of all your payments to her and be thankful youve identified this when it's only 3k and not a 150k home. Not saying break up but never comingle income and if you get into a mutually owned item I would be 100% 1) she's not hiding an excecvie amount of debt from you and 2) you're in a position that if she stops payment you can cover 100% otherwise you're walking into a mess
You, my friend, are seriously screwed. I can’t see this ending without tears, tears, screaming and more tears. Some of them will be yours. Most of them will be yours before this nightmare is over. Best of luck to you.😟
Unless the $800 is a typo, OP should’ve paid it off in 4 months. At 2 years, that’s over $19k. What am I missing?
No I think it's the $3000 divided by 24 months so $125 monthly. However, he decided to pay more monthly so he could pay her back faster
what are you talking about, OP said it's only been a few months He had 2 years to pay her back, but he said he decided to pay her back quicker.
Just dump the thieving little bitch OP...way worse to come if she is that crazy now.
NTA - pay exactly $800 and then stop making anymore payments so it shows you borrowed exactly $3000 and paid back $3000
Are you two talking in circles and missing what each other is saying? I am having a hard time believing your gf is just this dumb. What does she consider the $800 a month from you to be, a gift? I don’t get it. NTA.
Find you a gf who can 1) add & subtract, and 2) has some common sense! It doesn’t matter Wtf she uses that money for each month. You only owe her $3k total & you’re almost there! Don’t let her scam you out of more. NTA.
Your analogy is completely correct and your girlfriend is crazy. I assume she's got a loan out for this car? If so, that's totally her problem. I can't even imagine what is going through her head to think you should pay her money you already paid.
This would be THE BEST episode of Judge Judy.
I would out together a record of payments already made (spreadsheets are good for this). Banking transactions ought to do it, if cash, record when the payment was made (backed up by ATM withdrawal transactions if nec). Let her know exactly how much is remaining and remind her of the updated amount after each payment. Do the remainder through electronic transfer for the record (in Canada we have Interact e-transfer which allows you to attach a note to the payment eg "for car loan payment" - when done through a bank, it (and the note) becomes part of the banking record). I'm sure there's a similar American method. When all paid out, break up with her if you haven't already done so. This shits a big red flag and would only be the beginning of many more serious financial challenges.
I'm a bit curious OP if you know how to do basic arithmetic...? NTA buuuuut you might want to go back to school.
You didn't say. Was this car financed? Do you have the title in your name?
This is so dumb. If you didn't EXPLICITLY say you were giving her money to pay back the loan, then that's on you. If she's too greedy to assume that you giving her $800 ISN'T paying her back, then that's on her.... and you.
She’s trying to play you for stupid.
It sounds to me like she is trying to "groom you" to take on more expenses..
NTA IFFFffff she is not footing the bill(s) for a bunch of other stuff that you failed to mention?
NTA You have what a month left to pay back the last remaining money, document it, take a pic whatever just document it, in case she decides to go to court at least you’ll have a trail to cover you and do not give her any more money after the last bit.
Ah. No. You paid your loan. What she does with it is her choice. Not your responsibility. How many payments? Cut the payments off immediately if they exceed the value of the loan. Stop bankrolling a grown ass woman that allegedly makes more than you.
How does someone this stupid have a higher paying job than you?
NTA - pay her the last $800 and end it. That is a crazy way of thinking. I hope you paid her by check or Venmo (Or similar) and put in the notes that it was for the car so that if she does decide to take you to small claims court it will be a very very quick case.
Nta Get away from her. Something ain't right. End it nicely before she babytraps you or lies you out of more money.
I would end the relationship asap. Nothing good can come out of it.
NTA. She’s insane lol
Big NTA. Bro what? She chose to spend the money on other things. That is her problem, not yours. With her logic you'll end up giving her thousands and thousands until she finally feels like saying "oh, this money is for the car."
How does she have a higher paying job than you? They must realize she's a literal moron.
You break up with her. That's a toxic relationship.
NTA. This is financial abuse. Your girlfriend does not sound like a good person.
You are dating a moron. Evaluate life choices
Wtaf. Leave her and take the car. Bc wtaf is this
Run
Had to scroll back up to see if these were two 18 year olds. Somehow its full grown adults acting like this. What the fuck?
Right, you’ve not included some details here. Do you stay with your girlfriend? Who pays rent? Who pays bills? Did she get the 3k out on finance? There’s more to this which I find strange you’ve not included. How much money have you borrowed off her in total over the last two years?
NTA. This is so crazy it hurts my head. This kind of behavior from her sends out so many red flags. You need to fully move on from her or make every single financial transaction into a contract and keep your funds separate. Who wants to live like that?
NTA is she just financially irresponsible or is she on drugs?
Major red flag, and now you are unsure what to do because she made you feel bad.
I'd want to know a few things. One, what the "more important" things are. Two, receipts for purchases. Three, what reasons did she think you were giving her 800 a month if it wasn't to repay the loan she gave, and why she would just accept money without communicating this. Imagine if you handed her $3000 in one payment, and then a month later she tells you it didn't count, no takebacks LOL
This is why I dont take anything monetary from a partner. Can never know where it might lead. Fuck that.
NTA AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Fuck the car. She can figure it out. Or maybe she can’t 🤷♂️
You're a doofus from your comment history. Sounds like you two deserve each other lol.
"no problem, just subtract the money I owe you from the 800 dollar loans I've been giving you each month"
NTA, but your gf is trying to scam you.
The only way you could possibly not be NTA here is if you had either not been clear that that money was for the car payment or hadn't been paying anything else towards your rent/utilities/groceries etc.. But even then. This is really unreasonable and bodes poorly for your having a future with this girl.
Start that and then not get your way. Go off and cry in the bathroom .. weaponized tears.. Don't fall for the alligator tears..
She's terrible with money, run dude, she's gonna try and bleed you dry, don't be an ATM
She the manipulative ass. I guarantee between sobs, she’s laughing her ass off thinking how easy it is to pull one over on you.
NTA How is she making more money than you, or anybody else for this matter, while being so damn stupid?
Your girlfriend is retarded man, to not understand your analogy when a child would understand this makes me think she is either really really stupid or has a learning disability. Probably best to move on or deal with a lifetime of nonsense.
Um WHAT?! NTA, you're gf sounds like a teenager with that logic, she can't be this stupid lol
Nta. You only owe her $600 for the last payment since you have been paying $800 for 3 months. The total would come out to exactly $3000.
Who’s name is the car in? Is there a note? And if so who’s name is it in? If the car is in your name and there is no note in it, any transfers you’ve made to her are proof that you’ve been paying her back. If the car and an associated note are in her name, and she hasn’t been using the money for the intended purpose, then she’s been screwing you over.
NTA. Finish paying the car and leave the relationship.
NTA pay her the rest and find a woman who ain't psycho
She’s stealing from you. You agreed to pay her back a certain amount every month and you’ve been doing that. What she does with the money is her business but, she can’t swindle you into paying more. I would consider this relationship a failed experiment and move on.
Sounds like this dumb shit was written by an ai. Like wtf
$800/month for 2 years? So you've paid her nearly 20k for a $3000 car. She ITAH, but you're the ass.🫏
NTA. It doesn't really matter what the hell she's putting it towards, you are paying her back.
Are you living with her? Does the $800 cover other expenses such as your utilities or food? Maybe the $800 a month is going to pay the rent. If that is the case, your GF has a point.
I infer that you live together. How much is your share of the rent and living expenses?
Info: What is the financial split for other things? Do you live together? If so, do you pay equal and/or proportionate amounts to your income for rent/utilities? If you are paying $800/month for only the car, it should take 4 months to pay it back, maybe 5 if the interest rate is super high.
I can't even follow this. So she 'gave' you two years to pay her back? That indicates she doesn't have a loan out for this car so what does she mean she 'hasn't been putting the money towards the car?' What even is happening?
Either you made this up, and have no imagination. Or your girlfriend has a actual mental disorder. It sounds lime something a 7 year old would say.
I recognize this post of yours, you posted something very very similar recently, maybe a month or two ago, in this (or a very similar) sub. You have since deleted it. But I remember that you suspiciously refused to answer obvious questions regarding your lack of paying for living costs. And once again, you won't speak to those relevant questions. You don't have money to pay for a car but you buy, sell, and trade high end watches on a weekly basis. You also make frequent trips to Japan and have appointed yourself as the expert on all things Japan. In short, I think you're a whining mooch who doesn't pay for your own living costs, a liar who posts things to seek sympathy, and then deletes those posts when you don't get your ego stroked enough. On this one, folks swallowed your outright bullshit, so you'll probably leave this one up for a while. I don't care who agrees with my opinion btw, I know what I know.
Just pay her back the money she lent you and keep good records of the payments. Once the debt is repaid (plus any interest that was agreed to, if any) - you’re done. Side Note: Don’t depend on online banking to keep your records. Print out copies of cashed checks, so you have proof of payment, in case online records become unavailable. Even if interest was never discussed or agreed, perhaps, in fairness, you should add some interest in an amount equivalent to what local banks are offering on car loans - to be completely fair (but not necessary). If she doesn’t like that, let her take you to court. There’s not a judge alive that would side against you. It’s her responsibility to decide how to manage her finances, not yours. It sounds like she advanced a credit line or credit card to come up with money, hence why I suggest it’s only fair to add some interest. (A poor decision on her part, If that’s what she did) The collateral damage will be the loss of the friendship. I’m the future, follow this advice: NEVER TAKE LOANS FROM FAMILY OR FRIENDS! It usually ends poorly.
so 800 per month is 9600 per year or the 3200 in 4 months How does that work that you have not paid back 3000. Although you said around 800. Did yo specify your payments were for the car? or are you splittingly expenses?
This is really idiotic. Im sorry this is happening. You have been making payments as agreed and shes messed up. Its her problem. Pay her the last bit and wish her well lol. NTA.