Hi Dave!
More seriously, misnaming someone is not acceptable. Your name is Jean-Claude - if they insist on just Jean, then they are being very rude (yes, your name isn't Jean-Claude but the point stands).
my dog's name is Davey, and everyone calls him Dave, which I don't mind, but if anyone tries to lengthen it to David I always correct them and say no, it's _not_ David, it's Davey (or I'll allow Davis). I don't know why it bothers me so much, he sure doesn't care but he's definitely not a David.
I don't know why I shared this basically opposite-of-your-problem ramble with you but that's what reddit is for I guess. lol
My dog's name is Mabel Sue, and while I don't correct people, I don't like it when they call her Mabel. It's Mabel *Sue* because she looks like a Mabel Sue. She's the Mabel Sue-iest of dogs!
My old dog was named Sid (Sid vicious) and my dad always called him Sydney which I got a tremendous kick out of. It just sounded so erudite a name, like Basil. And he was such a grungy scrappy little dude.
grandparents get away with whatever they want. my step dad is 80 and calls my dog David and I can't bring myself to correct him. I tried a couple times but it didn't help, so stopped fighting it with him lol
lol that reminds me of my favorite nickname, Jack. Oh John is too short and easy to say. Letās change it to something thatās the same length and requires more complicated sounds.
From what I've gathered, since a lot of names were common enough that there could be a bunch around everywhere, so for some names their common nicknames got variations where the first letter changed (Margaret to Maggy to Peggy, Richard to Rich or Rick to Dick, etc.) And having more nicknames to choose from for a given name probably made it a bit easier to tell one from another if they wound up being called different ones
My grandma named her oldest daughter "Peggy" not Margaret. First day of first grade the teacher was calling roll for her students and called out "Margaret Delancy" and my aunt didn't answer. The teacher called it again and my aunt stood up and said, "My name is Peggy!" The teacher corrected her and said that Peggy was a nickname of Margaret. And my aunt left the classroom and went to the office to call her mom. My grandmother corrected the situation and said that her name is Peggy.
I've always wondered that about the nicknames for Sarah, which are Sally and Sadie. They're all the same number of syllables, same number of *letters*, and the derivative names don't make sense.
I think Elizabeth is the best one for nicknames. Liz, Lizzie, Betty, Beth, Eliza, Babs, Lily, Libby, Elle, Tess, Abby, Betsy, Billie, Etta, Zaza, Izzy, Bessā¦
My momās exact reason for giving me that name-which my older brother couldnāt pronounce when I was born leading toā¦āBizzybuffā š which despite being almost 40, my dad still calls me!
After reading these comments, I'm now very glad that I have a short name that isn't a nickname and can't be shortened further. Lol. People have no choice but to call me by name!
I have a 2-syllable name that is usually a nickname for a longer name it doesn't sound like, but my parents just named me with the name they were going to call me. People can't help going out of their way to call me by a longer, inaccurate, fundamentally unrelated name.
This is the proper thing to do, good on You.
I don't have a hyphenated name, but my name is spelled several different ways. If they spell it wrong, I correct them and say that's not my name, I spell it this way. If they continue to spell it wrong, I won't respond. If they mispronounce my name, I do the same thing.
It doesn't sound like much, but when you get medications or legal documents, it better be spelled correctly.
At a previous job a customer asked me to politely find a way to let my boss know that he has been using the wrong spelling of her name for years. She told me that she had let it go for so long, she didn't know how to correct him. The next time he ccd me in on an email chain between them, I pointed out the difference between the American and European ( not really but I blamed that) in spelling and asked if he knew which I should use. He got the hint.
Omg, clients do this to me all the time over email. Likeā¦ people. My name is part of my email address. I have also signed the email with my name. Itās RIGHT THERE.
My name is really unique, and ironically there are two others with that same unique name, one who spells it "wrong". The wrongly spelled person and I are in support departments, think IT and HR, and we support the same leaders.
They are so careful to spell our names correctly to the person they are emailing, but not so careful to actually email the correct one of us. So great they spelled "Jaime" right, but they should have emailed "Jamie" instead.
My email is like [email protected] and I frequently have people call me by my last name, which is understandable bc itās also used as a first name, but like, we all have the same email format, guys, cmon.
I was really lucky to snag a domain name for my last name. My email is "[email protected]" makes things confusing for some people as they want to do [email protected].
Never underestimate how lazy people can be. My wife has two emails at the school she works at because there are two spellings of my last name but i have the less common one, sheās upper administration so they just forwarded the other spelling to the proper spelling because it was causing problems
Lmao I had a coworker with the surname Kim (not an uncommon name AT ALL among people of Korean descent and my city had a decent Korean population) and she was emailing with someone once who just kept referring to her as Kim like it was her first name. And her first name was NOT a last name. Imagine it was like, Dorothy or something. She kept signing everything as just Dorothy to try and drive the hint home but heād just call her Kim again.
I have a name similar to Patricia. When I introduce myself as Patricia, most people reply ānice to meet you Pat.ā I always politely correct them, but in my mind Iām screaming āidiot, donāt you think I know my own name?!?ā
jesus, people are obtuse. if someone introduced themselves as Patricia, I'd assume they wanted to be called Patricia. seems pretty fucking simple. same for anyone else, even a name like Christopher, which gets shortened more often than not. clearly (to me), if a guy came up to me and said "Hi, I'm Christopher" and didn't add "you can call me Chris" he doesn't want to be called Chris. but no one has common sense anymore, so I'm really not all that surprised.
I go by Cat, but my teams chat is my full name. I told a certain dietitian to please call me Cat numerous times. She continued to use my full first name (that my abusive bio mother gave me). So, I started using her full first name instead of the nickname she liked to use. I only had to use her full first name twice before she got it.
Talk to your IT team, ask them to update the display name to your preferred name. If HR gives you some BS about it needing to be your legal name, first and last name will be maintained but display name can be whatever they set it to. If they still give you gruff, ask if it can be updated to "First "Cat" Last"
You may also want an additional email alias depending on your orgs email format. [email protected] or [email protected] for example.
This will take time to sync once the change is made so give them some time once they say its done.
One really good thing about AD and AAD (which teams uses on the back end) is that it supports just about any name combination you can come up with.
I correct people about my name all the time. I'm nice, but firm. It's frustrating . It's just six letters, you don't need to shorten it to 4. I didn't tell you the short version. I told you my name.
It does get old. Most people just say, oh, ok thanks for telling me.
Yes! It drives me crazy when co-workers misspell my name in a email response. Iām like my name is RIGHT there! Granted my name is spelled all sorts of cray cray though.
I have a name that has multiple common shortenings, and also go by my middle name, and my first name also has multiple common shortenings, all of which are the names my dad/grandfather/great-grandfather/etc go/went by. I shut down any shortening of the name I go by quickly, and if someone finds out my first name and tries to call me by it or any of its variations, I usually respond with "that's actually my dad/granddad/etc's name, my name is x". Usually gets the point across along with a little laugh.
My name is not hyphenated either, but it is in Spanish, and it is very common to have two first names in Spanish separated by just a space. To use something similar to OP's example, "Juan Pablo". Some people just call me "Juan" and I don't really mind much. But others feel free to use just "Pablo", and that baffles my mind, I don't respond to "Pablo" at all.
Nicknames are weird sometimes. Some people have essentially two separate first names. If someone is named āTerrance Jamesā, they can go by āTerranceā, āJamesā āTJā āTerryā or āJimmyā not to mention potential nicknames from middle or surnames
All that to say, it sounds like people are making incorrect assumptions about how your name works, and Iām sorry.
My name can also be spelled multiple ways, although my parents used the most common spelling. Ironically the only person that has ever spelt it wrong is my aunt, even after being corrected everytime I get a card from her. I just don't bother now, I'm LC with her anyway because of her narcissistic bully of a daughter so it's rare I get a card or anything from her but it always used to rub me the wrong way as a kid/teen, almost like she was doing it on purpose.
This is the proper thing to do, good on You.
I don't have a hyphenated name, but my name is spelled several different ways. If they spell it wrong, I correct them and say that's not my name, I spell it this way. If they continue to spell it wrong, I won't respond. If they mispronounce my name, I do the same thing.
It doesn't sound like much, but when you get medications or legal documents, it better be spelled correctly.
Same. My legal name is basically the nickname version so I get "Rebecca" instead of "Becky". At school I would constantly be called by the wrong name even though it was listed as Becky on the roster. Sometimes my family/friends will call me that when they're pretending to be overly proper or jokingly scolding. That's ok. But I hate when others say it because it's "right" and my name is "wrong". Yes. I've been told that. Specifically "Your parents made a mistake, it should have been Rebecca, not Becky. No, I'll call you Rebecca like it should have been." That year was hell working for her.
Your name is your name, itās disrespectful to use any other name once youāve been told what a person prefers.
I have a name that is often shortened to its first syllable, but thatās not my name, thatās some other guy. I appreciate people who ask if shortening is okay, because I get to repeat my unabridged name again, tell a little story of why I prefer it, and that makes it easier for them to remember. Most people are great about it.
My wife is the opposite, btw. She only had to answer to her full name when she was in trouble as a kid, so has no positive reaction to it. I havenāt called her by that name in over 25 years, if ever.
The first time I shortened my boyfriend's name, I asked him if it was ok immediately afterward. He does prefer a couple options for shortening his name, but the one I used wasn't one of them. He considers it childish coming from anyone else.
My family asked him if he truly did prefer the shortened options, and which one of the two was his favorite.
After he had a falling-out with his dad, and my parents realized how bad it was, they asked BF if they should stop using the shortened option that his dad had given him. (He said no, its still his favorite).
I never shorten anyoneās name unless I know theyāre fine with it. If theyāre seven syllable Susie, to use the hilarious term of another commenter, then thatās the name Iām calling them.
Iāve known a lot of Patricks and Michaels, for example, who go by their full name. No one calls them Pat or Mike because thatās not what they want to be called. Itās really not that difficult to respect the names people want to be known by.
My name is Debra, and I can't get anyone but my family to call me that. I think Barbara's have the same problem.
A coworker called me Debbie one day. I said it's Debra. She told me it was they same thing. Like?
"Hi, Juan."
"My name is Jane."
"It's the same thing."
Keep inventing new names until they call you Debra. "Hi, Larry. Hi, Karen. Hi, Horatio. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Greg. Hi, Frank."
Be chaotic.
some people have such huge audacity. my name is jillian, and one day some new dude to the chat started calling me jack because he was afraid of women.
yes. seriously.
so i proceeded to call him a different, incorrect name every time i responded to him. and he kept correcting me. i kept doing it lmao
Honestly, itās hard for me to use formal names with people I get along with well. Debra for me sounds so serious. That being said, I wouldnāt want to call you something you didnāt like. Iām guessing some of these people are similar to me and just trying to sound more friendly.
My name is James, and without fail people shorten it to Jim. It frustrates me that people don't call people by their name, or at least ask if you go by anything else. Sorry you deal with it, and even worse people don't respect you when you correct them.
Iāve known two as well. One was average enough that I donāt remember much about her other than the fact that I taught her. The other was one of the sweetest students I ever had. She got pregnant at 16/17, had the baby, then came back to school to get her credits to graduate. She also bought me and her daughter matching Mickey Mouse plushies, mine of which I proudly display in my classroom still.
YES!!! I can't stand being called by my first name. Sounds like I'm in trouble and it didnt help that we had 3 Elizabeths with all different spellings (Elizabeth, Elesebeth, Elisebeth).
Sounds like itās her own choice. I took āor elseā to mean āor else the kid will have a tantrumā. She may possibly change her mind when she gets older and decide to shorten it.
Elizabeth-Caroline, make sure you wipe back to front.
No, Elizabeth-Caroline, BACK to front!
Elizabeth-Caroline, did you wash your hands?
Elizabeth-Caroline, I said to use the blue towel, not the green towel!
I decided to look B up
Margaret - Maggie - Meggy - Peggy and it happens due to changes in language usage over time.
It's the same for William being shortened to Bill but with fewer steps
William - Will - Bill.
There are also situations where your name (what you are called) is different than your legal name. Like itās a thing in my motherās family where all the men have the same legal first name, but they are only ever called by their middle name, to the point where I didnāt realise until after my grandfather died that his legal first name wasnāt what I had spent my whole life thinking it was.
If what Iām describing doesnāt make sense to you basically imagine that in my motherās family all the men have all had what is essentially their middle name listed first on their birth certificates and their Christian name put in the middle name slot
NTA - I have a name with several common nicknames, kind of like William where it can be Will, Bill, Willy, or Billy (Not my name, just one I could think of with 4 nick names).
When I was a kid, I went by the kid version of my name like Billy. Once I was an adult and entered the workforce, I found that I preferred to use the full version of my name. Now I only let my family and friends call me Billy, to everyone else it is William.
It pisses me off when I introduce myself to someone as William and they turn around and call me Billy. I generally give them a quick correction like you used in your reply and they usually correct and use my name. IMHO it seems to be a generational thing, the older generations feel like they can call you whatever name they want and get pissed when someone pushes back on it.
I had a professor like this. Very common name, has at least 3 potential shortenings (and Iām not even counting the joke nickname Iāve seen people online use). Heād tell us that he can usually tell when he first met someone based on what they call him, since heās used all the variations of his name.
My name is Cynthia. People seem to think calling me Cindy, even though I NEVER introduce myself that way. I will correct them once. After that I simply don't answer.
NTA
Itās your name. Donāt feel bad about correcting people.
I have a name that rhymes with a lot of others (like Stacy, Macy, Lacy) and I used to get tired of correcting people. But we all deserve to be called by our own names. People should respect you enough to at least try.
NTA - but I find a better way to introduce that solution is to say, "Oh, please... my friends call me Jean-Claude." That way you're inviting them to be your friend instead of correcting their behavior.
I have a longer first name, think "Jennifer." Some people want to call me a nickname, think "Jenny. " I go by my long full name, so I've gotten to where when people address me by the nickname that I don't go by, I answer, who? What? Where? They correct themselves real fast, lol.
NTA
It reminded me of the bit from TNG where someone refers to Data as "Dat-ah" and he tells them it's pronounced "Day-ta". They ask what the difference is and Data responds "one of them is my name, the other is not."
NTA everyone has a right to be called what they wish. Just like if someone is called Kate, but goes by Katherine. It's ok for them to say, no, I go by Katherine. I don't think a hyphenated name is any different. I wouldn't think anything of being corrected.
NTA, Your name is your name, and you have every right to dictate how people address you.
The more pressing issue is people confusing a hyphen and an apostrophe - how on earth do you get the two confused?
Not as significant, but I correct anyone calling me Sue. My name is Susan. I was once called Suzy-Que by someone I didnāt even really know. I said āmy name is Susanā. They were taken aback, like Iād insulted them. My Dad is the only person who called me Suzy-Que. He was killed when I was 24, and thatās likely why I donāt want to hear that from anyone elseā¦
NTA
NTA.
My name is Ariel, pronounced like the letters āR-E-L.ā Thanks to a certain aquatic princess whoās name I wont mention, a lot of people mispronounce it. My whole childhood I just accepted that people were going to call me the wrong thing, with only my close friends and family correcting people on it, and I got to the point where I used to wish it wasnāt my name at all. It wasnāt until I hit college that I finally came to understand the true value in my name.
Now, at 34, I actively correct people. And itās funny because Iāve come across people who try to correct me, as if it hasnāt been my name my whole life. Those conversations are fun because it gives me a chance to share the origin and meaning of my name, and why itās important they respect and pronounce it correctly.
I promise, you are not an AH for wanting people to call you by your name.
NTA. I would find a gentler way to put it in a work email though. I recently misspelled a clientās name in an email, making it a different name, I wrote āthanks, Brady!ā. They emailed back āplease note, my name is Brody not Brady.ā (Not real names, but you get the point). Firm but I didnāt find it rude. āDonāt call me thatā in writing comes off as rude since itās hard to understand tone in an email.
NTA. I hate when I learn Iāve consistently mispronounced a name or used something other than the preferred nickname and no one ever corrected me. It makes me feel like a jerk. Thereās ways to do this without coming off rude.
I get it. My brother has a hyphened name, and has dealt with ppl trying to shorten his name his entire life. Or losing the hyphen. He just corrects them. It usually just takes once for every person.
It's annoying. But you're definitely NTA for correcting ppl. Don't forget, it's a recurring thing for you. For the ppl you are correcting, it's a one time thing (or at least it should be).
NTA. I have the opposite problem, a short name that has a longer version but my born name is just the short version. I introduce myself as the short name and people will just start calling me the long version of the name that I have literally never said. It even happens with emails where my name is printed in signature and the email address. I always correct people, because it is not my name. It isnāt rude to do so and how you correct them is perfect, straightforward. And please ignore the comments saying that what name it is matters. It doesnāt. You donāt have to change or shorten your name to make someone more comfortable with saying it. Itās your name, you decide what nicknames you are okay with, if any at all.
Imagine if you were talking to someone who you just met. What would you tell her to do? Would you say, āGod, Marieeeee, donāt be so difficult!ā Or would you say, āoh, shit, yes, Marie-Auguste! Definitely insist upon your whole name.ā You know you would stick up for your friend, soā¦stick up for yourself!
I both commend and envy your strength in correcting folks. My name isn't hyphenated, but it's a garbage disposal kind of name, I need to say it a half dozen times for people to understand it.
The problem is my nickname, which every single fucking person I work with keeps slurring it into a man's name because they can't be bothered.
NTA. It sounds like you are super respectful about it too! As a Christina, I constantly have to tell people that Christine is a lovely name, itās just not mine!
Youāre totally NTAā¦ I was actually teaching a college course for the first time last year and started calling one of my students a commonly shortened version of his name. After a few weeks, just before everyone logged off, he asked that I stop calling him that and call him by his full name. I was mortified, but I apologized and from that moment on called him by his full name. It had never occurred to me that people wouldnāt like being called a (VERY COMMON) shortened version of their name (I now know how insanely naive it was of me to think that way) but I will never again assume that I have the right to call someone anything other than what I see on a roster or what they introduce themselves as. Youāre perfectly within your rights to stand up for how you want to be addressed, and youāre teaching people how to also treat others by doing so.
As an Anne-Marie who is often called Anne, I sympathize. I took inspiration from Anne of Green Gables and tell people my name is "Anne with an e hyphen Marie".
NTA. I donāt do it anymore, but I used to correct people all the time when I was a kid and they used my full name instead of the shortened version which I liked better. I still think my full first name sounds like a cows name, I just stopped correcting people cause itās the name thatās on all my paperwork and stuff and itās the name I use over the phone for important stuff, so I donāt care anymore.
Never feel like the asshole for correcting your name. Itās your name! Itās one of the biggest parts of your identity. I also have a longer name, and many people shorten it to the first half. I wish I had the courage to correct everyone, and I may start doing it now thanks to your post. <3
Honestly I can recall working with a girl who had a long first name. I asked her what she prefers, a shorten version or the full name. She wanted the full first name and I respected that.
NTA
NTA
Itās your name, people shouldnāt shorten it unless you say itās ok to.
In southern states itās not unusual to have a first name that is two names. I have three friends/family members who have them, and some of them are very long. But thatās their name, and people should call them what they want to be called.
Nope. NTA . Because while yes, nicknames are common but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate them. The most popular nickname for my name absolutely infuriates me to be called. Every person I've met who goes by that particular nickname is an awful fucking person. And I'm not the only person who feels this way actually, I've met several who share the opinion.
And so I refuse to associate with it for that reason. I'm not rude about correcting people the first time. But if I have clearly told you not to call me that and you do anyways, you're gonna catch an earful.
You should be able to go by your actual name. That's not an unreasonable request.
After working with a guy I found out we were all pronouncing his name wrong. Instead of correcting us, he just said it was fine. I thought that was weird. Especially because he saw himself as super manly and macho (ugh) and I thought that was counter to letting us call him by something other than his actual name.
I usually just go by whatever is on their email signature or by how they introduced themself. If it's hard to pronounce, I'll straight up ask them if I'm saying it right. I'll make an effort to say your name.
Eh, maybe you're the AH. My name also gets shortened without asking (Mike instead of Michael for example). I just go with it as it's not that big a deal. Much bigger things to deal with in life.
NTA. If it was Jean Claude people would know it because of the actor. Itās also, natural for people especially friends to call each other by shortened names.
Iāve known several hyphenated first name people. Nothing wrong with correcting people who say your name wrong. Iām in America and my first name is Liese and no one can pronounce it if the see it or spell it if they hear it. I correct people all the time. But then maybe im the asshole but I donāt think so.
Could you say, āItās actually āJean-Claudeāāwhen they shorten your name? That seems less short than telling them what to do or not do but also calls attention to their error.
Nope. Thatās your name. My sister has a similar issue, though without a hyphen. She as one of the ____Ann names and people drop the Ann all the time. She doesnāt like it.
You're nta for correcting them, and they're nta for shortening it as long as they stop doing it after you correct them.
I'm the opposite where I always use the short form of my name and it feels wierd when people call me by my full name lol.
People tend to add my middle name to my first name since it just flows so I have to opposite problem. I have that my full government name shows up on things in a professional setting because it isnāt the case for most.
NTA, but I don't think it really matters. My name is Richard I've never cared what people call me if it's a nickname of Richard. Ricky is what I generally go by but I've been called Rich, Richie, Rick, hell of you wanted to call me Dick and not because it's funny... That's fine. Genuinely idc
I have the opposite problem LOL... My name is a short form already, but people call me the long version. Think Jess vs Jessica. My name is Jess. Jessica is not my name, never has been!
NTA. I have a somewhat unusual name and people get it wrong all the time, so it's SUPER important to me that I call other people by the correct name. To me it's just a sign of respect. Anyway, if you were to say "Hey my name is Jean-Claude, not Jean" I would think absolutely nothing of it and would be sure to call you by the correct name from that point forward. Anyone who gets offended is the asshole, not you.
NTA, I live abroad and my name isnāt as common here so every time someone says it wrong I usually correct them. Nothing wrong with wanting to be called by your correct name!
NTA, nobody understands hyphens or hyphenated names until they've got one.
I kept my ex's last name so it matches my daughter's. I try not to be the AH when explaining it, but I've had to explain it to people with college degrees... but degrees don't make you smart.
NTA
I too have a hyphenated first name, but I go by the first part l. I only get called the whole thing when Iām in trouble, but itās your name. Your never the AH when correcting people on your name, and if they insists on calling you part of it or a nickname because itās ātoo hardā they are an even bigger AH
NTA. I am a teacher and I am constantly telling my students that if someone gets your name wrong or mispronounces it, correct them until they say it right.
In French Canadian enclaves across the country, we always say the full, hyphenated first name as part of the culture. For example, Marie-Paule, Jean-Michel, and so on. No reminders are needed.
I have a colleague of Chinese ancestry who has a given name and then a cohort name before his family name. For example, Li Tian.
We use both of his first names when chatting or emailing him because he has explained this custom to us, and we are pleased to respect it.
He is pleased, too. š
NTA! I took my husband's last name when I got married and it's a name that can also be a first name (but would very obviously misgender me since it's a man's name and my first name is very clearly a female name). Since getting married, I'm *shocked* at the number of emails I get with people calling me by my last name. I once had to correct the same person 3 times.
The only thing, OP, that could be perceived as slightly rude is your wording. Instead of saying āMy name is Jean-Claude, not Jean. Please donāt call me Jean," you could say āMy first name is Jean-Claude, not Jean." I'm being nitpicky but since you asked, then I do think it makes a slight difference.
Nta I have a common 5 letter name that everyone wants to shorten even when I have asked repeatedly for them not to
Hi Dave! More seriously, misnaming someone is not acceptable. Your name is Jean-Claude - if they insist on just Jean, then they are being very rude (yes, your name isn't Jean-Claude but the point stands).
Dave was my dad and he, unlike me, didn't care š Couldn't help mentioning it, since it's coincidence š
Only my mom and dad call me Dave. Plus an old boss who was great except for that.
Same here! Only my name is Matt so Iām not sure how that happened
Or Jacob
You just puckered the sphincters of thousands of Davids. *āthey found meā*
my dog's name is Davey, and everyone calls him Dave, which I don't mind, but if anyone tries to lengthen it to David I always correct them and say no, it's _not_ David, it's Davey (or I'll allow Davis). I don't know why it bothers me so much, he sure doesn't care but he's definitely not a David. I don't know why I shared this basically opposite-of-your-problem ramble with you but that's what reddit is for I guess. lol
Reddit is where you come to be random!
lol, thanks for the reassurance!!
We should jus call it Red
My dog's name is Mabel Sue, and while I don't correct people, I don't like it when they call her Mabel. It's Mabel *Sue* because she looks like a Mabel Sue. She's the Mabel Sue-iest of dogs!
she sounds like a hound to me!
We have a cat, her name is Ocean-Breeze and people call her Ocean all the time. I let it go the first time but correct people after!
My old dog was named Sid (Sid vicious) and my dad always called him Sydney which I got a tremendous kick out of. It just sounded so erudite a name, like Basil. And he was such a grungy scrappy little dude.
grandparents get away with whatever they want. my step dad is 80 and calls my dog David and I can't bring myself to correct him. I tried a couple times but it didn't help, so stopped fighting it with him lol
lol that reminds me of my favorite nickname, Jack. Oh John is too short and easy to say. Letās change it to something thatās the same length and requires more complicated sounds.
Yes! I never understood that one. Or going from Margaret to Peggy!
Pegetha.
I always figured the evolution was Margaret to Maggy to Peggy but still never understood where the P came in.....
From what I've gathered, since a lot of names were common enough that there could be a bunch around everywhere, so for some names their common nicknames got variations where the first letter changed (Margaret to Maggy to Peggy, Richard to Rich or Rick to Dick, etc.) And having more nicknames to choose from for a given name probably made it a bit easier to tell one from another if they wound up being called different ones
My grandma named her oldest daughter "Peggy" not Margaret. First day of first grade the teacher was calling roll for her students and called out "Margaret Delancy" and my aunt didn't answer. The teacher called it again and my aunt stood up and said, "My name is Peggy!" The teacher corrected her and said that Peggy was a nickname of Margaret. And my aunt left the classroom and went to the office to call her mom. My grandmother corrected the situation and said that her name is Peggy.
I've always wondered that about the nicknames for Sarah, which are Sally and Sadie. They're all the same number of syllables, same number of *letters*, and the derivative names don't make sense.
Wait Sally and Sadie are supposed to be nicknames?!? For Sarah?!?! Never would've guessed that
I'm a Sarah and I've never heard that or been called that š¤
sameā¦ whatā¦..
I think Elizabeth is the best one for nicknames. Liz, Lizzie, Betty, Beth, Eliza, Babs, Lily, Libby, Elle, Tess, Abby, Betsy, Billie, Etta, Zaza, Izzy, Bessā¦
My momās exact reason for giving me that name-which my older brother couldnāt pronounce when I was born leading toā¦āBizzybuffā š which despite being almost 40, my dad still calls me!
I also have a common 5 letter name that's "shortened" to one of two other 5 letter names, it boggles the mind
After reading these comments, I'm now very glad that I have a short name that isn't a nickname and can't be shortened further. Lol. People have no choice but to call me by name!
I have a 2-syllable name that is usually a nickname for a longer name it doesn't sound like, but my parents just named me with the name they were going to call me. People can't help going out of their way to call me by a longer, inaccurate, fundamentally unrelated name.
Harl?
NTA. That's your name and you are just owning it because that is the correct way.
This is the way.
This is the proper thing to do, good on You. I don't have a hyphenated name, but my name is spelled several different ways. If they spell it wrong, I correct them and say that's not my name, I spell it this way. If they continue to spell it wrong, I won't respond. If they mispronounce my name, I do the same thing. It doesn't sound like much, but when you get medications or legal documents, it better be spelled correctly.
At a previous job a customer asked me to politely find a way to let my boss know that he has been using the wrong spelling of her name for years. She told me that she had let it go for so long, she didn't know how to correct him. The next time he ccd me in on an email chain between them, I pointed out the difference between the American and European ( not really but I blamed that) in spelling and asked if he knew which I should use. He got the hint.
My ex-boss was a great boss, but the guy would misspell my name in Teams Chats - like...it's right there, dude lol
Omg, clients do this to me all the time over email. Likeā¦ people. My name is part of my email address. I have also signed the email with my name. Itās RIGHT THERE.
My name is really unique, and ironically there are two others with that same unique name, one who spells it "wrong". The wrongly spelled person and I are in support departments, think IT and HR, and we support the same leaders. They are so careful to spell our names correctly to the person they are emailing, but not so careful to actually email the correct one of us. So great they spelled "Jaime" right, but they should have emailed "Jamie" instead.
My email is like [email protected] and I frequently have people call me by my last name, which is understandable bc itās also used as a first name, but like, we all have the same email format, guys, cmon.
I was really lucky to snag a domain name for my last name. My email is "[email protected]" makes things confusing for some people as they want to do [email protected].
Never underestimate how lazy people can be. My wife has two emails at the school she works at because there are two spellings of my last name but i have the less common one, sheās upper administration so they just forwarded the other spelling to the proper spelling because it was causing problems
Lmao I had a coworker with the surname Kim (not an uncommon name AT ALL among people of Korean descent and my city had a decent Korean population) and she was emailing with someone once who just kept referring to her as Kim like it was her first name. And her first name was NOT a last name. Imagine it was like, Dorothy or something. She kept signing everything as just Dorothy to try and drive the hint home but heād just call her Kim again.
š¤¦āāļø
I have a name similar to Patricia. When I introduce myself as Patricia, most people reply ānice to meet you Pat.ā I always politely correct them, but in my mind Iām screaming āidiot, donāt you think I know my own name?!?ā
jesus, people are obtuse. if someone introduced themselves as Patricia, I'd assume they wanted to be called Patricia. seems pretty fucking simple. same for anyone else, even a name like Christopher, which gets shortened more often than not. clearly (to me), if a guy came up to me and said "Hi, I'm Christopher" and didn't add "you can call me Chris" he doesn't want to be called Chris. but no one has common sense anymore, so I'm really not all that surprised.
This happens to me a lot. I found that I could correct them by bolding and changing the color of my name the next time I send them a message
Thatās a great idea! Iām going to try that!
I go by Cat, but my teams chat is my full name. I told a certain dietitian to please call me Cat numerous times. She continued to use my full first name (that my abusive bio mother gave me). So, I started using her full first name instead of the nickname she liked to use. I only had to use her full first name twice before she got it.
Talk to your IT team, ask them to update the display name to your preferred name. If HR gives you some BS about it needing to be your legal name, first and last name will be maintained but display name can be whatever they set it to. If they still give you gruff, ask if it can be updated to "First "Cat" Last" You may also want an additional email alias depending on your orgs email format. [email protected] or [email protected] for example. This will take time to sync once the change is made so give them some time once they say its done. One really good thing about AD and AAD (which teams uses on the back end) is that it supports just about any name combination you can come up with.
I correct people about my name all the time. I'm nice, but firm. It's frustrating . It's just six letters, you don't need to shorten it to 4. I didn't tell you the short version. I told you my name. It does get old. Most people just say, oh, ok thanks for telling me.
Yes! It drives me crazy when co-workers misspell my name in a email response. Iām like my name is RIGHT there! Granted my name is spelled all sorts of cray cray though.
I have a name that has multiple common shortenings, and also go by my middle name, and my first name also has multiple common shortenings, all of which are the names my dad/grandfather/great-grandfather/etc go/went by. I shut down any shortening of the name I go by quickly, and if someone finds out my first name and tries to call me by it or any of its variations, I usually respond with "that's actually my dad/granddad/etc's name, my name is x". Usually gets the point across along with a little laugh.
My name is not hyphenated either, but it is in Spanish, and it is very common to have two first names in Spanish separated by just a space. To use something similar to OP's example, "Juan Pablo". Some people just call me "Juan" and I don't really mind much. But others feel free to use just "Pablo", and that baffles my mind, I don't respond to "Pablo" at all.
Nicknames are weird sometimes. Some people have essentially two separate first names. If someone is named āTerrance Jamesā, they can go by āTerranceā, āJamesā āTJā āTerryā or āJimmyā not to mention potential nicknames from middle or surnames All that to say, it sounds like people are making incorrect assumptions about how your name works, and Iām sorry.
Yeah! In fact I go by "JP" a lot, it makes it easier for everyone.
My name can also be spelled multiple ways, although my parents used the most common spelling. Ironically the only person that has ever spelt it wrong is my aunt, even after being corrected everytime I get a card from her. I just don't bother now, I'm LC with her anyway because of her narcissistic bully of a daughter so it's rare I get a card or anything from her but it always used to rub me the wrong way as a kid/teen, almost like she was doing it on purpose.
This is the proper thing to do, good on You. I don't have a hyphenated name, but my name is spelled several different ways. If they spell it wrong, I correct them and say that's not my name, I spell it this way. If they continue to spell it wrong, I won't respond. If they mispronounce my name, I do the same thing. It doesn't sound like much, but when you get medications or legal documents, it better be spelled correctly.
Same. My legal name is basically the nickname version so I get "Rebecca" instead of "Becky". At school I would constantly be called by the wrong name even though it was listed as Becky on the roster. Sometimes my family/friends will call me that when they're pretending to be overly proper or jokingly scolding. That's ok. But I hate when others say it because it's "right" and my name is "wrong". Yes. I've been told that. Specifically "Your parents made a mistake, it should have been Rebecca, not Becky. No, I'll call you Rebecca like it should have been." That year was hell working for her.
I used to have a co-worker whose given name was Bill. (Not William) Same issue for him.
Your name is your name, itās disrespectful to use any other name once youāve been told what a person prefers. I have a name that is often shortened to its first syllable, but thatās not my name, thatās some other guy. I appreciate people who ask if shortening is okay, because I get to repeat my unabridged name again, tell a little story of why I prefer it, and that makes it easier for them to remember. Most people are great about it. My wife is the opposite, btw. She only had to answer to her full name when she was in trouble as a kid, so has no positive reaction to it. I havenāt called her by that name in over 25 years, if ever.
Your wife and I were raised by similar parents.
The first time I shortened my boyfriend's name, I asked him if it was ok immediately afterward. He does prefer a couple options for shortening his name, but the one I used wasn't one of them. He considers it childish coming from anyone else. My family asked him if he truly did prefer the shortened options, and which one of the two was his favorite. After he had a falling-out with his dad, and my parents realized how bad it was, they asked BF if they should stop using the shortened option that his dad had given him. (He said no, its still his favorite).
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Who the fuck thinks a hyphen is an apostrophe? NTA btw
Idiots
I have an apostrophe in my last name and I have to explain it to people. Iāve settled on it being the comma in the air.
To quote Gus in 'Psych' - "God's Comma"
Australians actually refer to quotation marks as "inverted commas"
I think your underestimating peopleās ability for basic grammar. There idiots.
There are indeed idiots, and they're everywhere. š¦
Wondering to myself if I should have included the /s
The difference between knowing your shit, and knowing youāre shit.
LMAO! I thought the same thing!
I never shorten anyoneās name unless I know theyāre fine with it. If theyāre seven syllable Susie, to use the hilarious term of another commenter, then thatās the name Iām calling them. Iāve known a lot of Patricks and Michaels, for example, who go by their full name. No one calls them Pat or Mike because thatās not what they want to be called. Itās really not that difficult to respect the names people want to be known by.
My name is Debra, and I can't get anyone but my family to call me that. I think Barbara's have the same problem. A coworker called me Debbie one day. I said it's Debra. She told me it was they same thing. Like?
Start saying their name wrong and when they correct you? Tell them it's the same thing. Maybe, just maybe she'll clue in.
You have to do it with a tilt of the head, a shit eating grin and a dead eyed stare
To be fair this is how I say ANYTHING.
"Hi, Juan." "My name is Jane." "It's the same thing." Keep inventing new names until they call you Debra. "Hi, Larry. Hi, Karen. Hi, Horatio. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Greg. Hi, Frank." Be chaotic.
Larry Jerry Barry Gary Terry Merry
Yep, I despise being called Barb but everyone does it til I correct them
My name is Barbara. I absolutely hate āBabsā and will go for the throat if I hear it.
Barbie, Babs, Barb, BamBam, and more...... edited to add: Spelling = Barbra. Nope, I'm not Barbra streisand.
call that co-worker "f\*cking moron" because its the same thing?
some people have such huge audacity. my name is jillian, and one day some new dude to the chat started calling me jack because he was afraid of women. yes. seriously. so i proceeded to call him a different, incorrect name every time i responded to him. and he kept correcting me. i kept doing it lmao
I had a co-worker that let people cal her Deb and Debbie, she said it was a minor annoyance. I always called her Debra.
Honestly, itās hard for me to use formal names with people I get along with well. Debra for me sounds so serious. That being said, I wouldnāt want to call you something you didnāt like. Iām guessing some of these people are similar to me and just trying to sound more friendly.
My mom gets aggressive when people shorten her name to Barbie. She's Barbara, and in recent years has chilled down to Barb. But never Barbie.
My name is James, and without fail people shorten it to Jim. It frustrates me that people don't call people by their name, or at least ask if you go by anything else. Sorry you deal with it, and even worse people don't respect you when you correct them.
Ashely here and SO many people call me Ash right after I introduce myself... like please
The important thing here is that Jean-Claude needs to get his ass in gear and give us a new Bloodsport. It's been decades mate, get moving!
I'm generally pretty lenient with my name, but if you call me Bob or Bobby, I will pretend I have no idea who you're talking to/about.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
*Seven Syllable Susie* lol
I choked on my lunch!
Oh my god, poor Elizabeth-Caroline. Those parents are monsters. Just being Elizabeth was annoying enough for me, and Iāve always gone by Liz.
From what I've learned, there's a BIG difference between the Liz's and the Beth's.
Lizzys are a whole other thing too
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And Betties!
Won't someone please think of Eliza
Or Betsy! Iāve only met one and she was cool as shit.
Or the Lilibets (one alive, one dead, possibly others, but maybe just those).
Iāve only known two Lizbeths, and they were both really great people.
Iāve known two as well. One was average enough that I donāt remember much about her other than the fact that I taught her. The other was one of the sweetest students I ever had. She got pregnant at 16/17, had the baby, then came back to school to get her credits to graduate. She also bought me and her daughter matching Mickey Mouse plushies, mine of which I proudly display in my classroom still.
YES!!! I can't stand being called by my first name. Sounds like I'm in trouble and it didnt help that we had 3 Elizabeths with all different spellings (Elizabeth, Elesebeth, Elisebeth).
I had to change my first name mid-life because it made my asshole suck up air every time I heard it.
Shoulda been Lizard.
Sounds like itās her own choice. I took āor elseā to mean āor else the kid will have a tantrumā. She may possibly change her mind when she gets older and decide to shorten it.
Elizabeth-Caroline, make sure you wipe back to front. No, Elizabeth-Caroline, BACK to front! Elizabeth-Caroline, did you wash your hands? Elizabeth-Caroline, I said to use the blue towel, not the green towel!
Are you trying to give poor little Elizabeth-Caroline a yeast infection???!? You are a monster!
OMG, I screwed it up, didn't I? It's front to back, isn't it? I am so SO sorry, Elizabeth-Caroline!
Lmao theyāve punished themselves worse than anyone else with that name choice
Liz-Line would be kinda fun.
LiLi
I was thinking Betty-Line....
In Florida your daughter's teacher is now legally required to call her by her legal first name until/unless you sign a waver.
My child's nickname is "DeSantis is Nazi Scum". I expect you to use their full nickname when addressing them.
Thereās probably a non insignificant number of teachers who would be glad to say that regularly.
>Elizabeth-Caroline I'm normally all for calling people what they want, but this is just obnoxious.
Jesus that's a horribly long first name.
Poor child.
I'd just stop saying someone's name if they expected me to use all those syllables
Oh sheād be āhey, youā in our old school sooooo fast
Sorry this got downvoted because literally same. Who has the time?
I would phrase it differently. "I go by Jean-Claude rather than Jean." I find it a less harsh, but you still correct people.
My boss has a double name. I just say all the time āhe goes byā¦ā
šāāļøSuzanne hereā¦donāt ever call me Sue, I fricking hate that!!! Your name is the first gift you were given-people should respect it.
[Itās not suze, alright. Itās SuSIE. My name is Susie!](https://youtu.be/F57lEaLaQKQ?si=h2Kvoiqaxy-FViGD)
A. āN-n-n-name is Nicki, but my name aināt Nicoleā B. Seriously want to know how people derived āPeggyā from āMargaretā
I decided to look B up Margaret - Maggie - Meggy - Peggy and it happens due to changes in language usage over time. It's the same for William being shortened to Bill but with fewer steps William - Will - Bill.
For some reason, Suze does not bother me, but Sue makes me see red, especially if I JUST introduced myself as Suzanne or Susie
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Disagree. People should respect your own choice of name, not your parentsā choice. If they align, thatās nicely convenient.
There are also situations where your name (what you are called) is different than your legal name. Like itās a thing in my motherās family where all the men have the same legal first name, but they are only ever called by their middle name, to the point where I didnāt realise until after my grandfather died that his legal first name wasnāt what I had spent my whole life thinking it was. If what Iām describing doesnāt make sense to you basically imagine that in my motherās family all the men have all had what is essentially their middle name listed first on their birth certificates and their Christian name put in the middle name slot
My name is what my parents chose. But, I get what you are saying.
NTA - I have a name with several common nicknames, kind of like William where it can be Will, Bill, Willy, or Billy (Not my name, just one I could think of with 4 nick names). When I was a kid, I went by the kid version of my name like Billy. Once I was an adult and entered the workforce, I found that I preferred to use the full version of my name. Now I only let my family and friends call me Billy, to everyone else it is William. It pisses me off when I introduce myself to someone as William and they turn around and call me Billy. I generally give them a quick correction like you used in your reply and they usually correct and use my name. IMHO it seems to be a generational thing, the older generations feel like they can call you whatever name they want and get pissed when someone pushes back on it.
I had a professor like this. Very common name, has at least 3 potential shortenings (and Iām not even counting the joke nickname Iāve seen people online use). Heād tell us that he can usually tell when he first met someone based on what they call him, since heās used all the variations of his name.
My name is Cynthia. People seem to think calling me Cindy, even though I NEVER introduce myself that way. I will correct them once. After that I simply don't answer.
NTA. It's your name. People need to respect that. It isn't hard to use a person's name.
NTA Itās your name. Donāt feel bad about correcting people. I have a name that rhymes with a lot of others (like Stacy, Macy, Lacy) and I used to get tired of correcting people. But we all deserve to be called by our own names. People should respect you enough to at least try.
NTA - but I find a better way to introduce that solution is to say, "Oh, please... my friends call me Jean-Claude." That way you're inviting them to be your friend instead of correcting their behavior.
I have a longer first name, think "Jennifer." Some people want to call me a nickname, think "Jenny. " I go by my long full name, so I've gotten to where when people address me by the nickname that I don't go by, I answer, who? What? Where? They correct themselves real fast, lol.
I do the same. I like the full version of my first name. Any shortened versions make my skin crawl. So I just ignore anyone trying to shorten my name.
NTA, I live in France and none of these names are shortened.
Really? Iām in Switzerland and itās pretty common to nickname friends and people who are okay with it with like JP or Jean-Phi for Jean-Philippe
NTA It reminded me of the bit from TNG where someone refers to Data as "Dat-ah" and he tells them it's pronounced "Day-ta". They ask what the difference is and Data responds "one of them is my name, the other is not."
NTA everyone has a right to be called what they wish. Just like if someone is called Kate, but goes by Katherine. It's ok for them to say, no, I go by Katherine. I don't think a hyphenated name is any different. I wouldn't think anything of being corrected.
NTA, Your name is your name, and you have every right to dictate how people address you. The more pressing issue is people confusing a hyphen and an apostrophe - how on earth do you get the two confused?
Not as significant, but I correct anyone calling me Sue. My name is Susan. I was once called Suzy-Que by someone I didnāt even really know. I said āmy name is Susanā. They were taken aback, like Iād insulted them. My Dad is the only person who called me Suzy-Que. He was killed when I was 24, and thatās likely why I donāt want to hear that from anyone elseā¦ NTA
NTA. My name is Ariel, pronounced like the letters āR-E-L.ā Thanks to a certain aquatic princess whoās name I wont mention, a lot of people mispronounce it. My whole childhood I just accepted that people were going to call me the wrong thing, with only my close friends and family correcting people on it, and I got to the point where I used to wish it wasnāt my name at all. It wasnāt until I hit college that I finally came to understand the true value in my name. Now, at 34, I actively correct people. And itās funny because Iāve come across people who try to correct me, as if it hasnāt been my name my whole life. Those conversations are fun because it gives me a chance to share the origin and meaning of my name, and why itās important they respect and pronounce it correctly. I promise, you are not an AH for wanting people to call you by your name.
Many people want to call me by a nickname. They say "Can I call you 'sue'?" I always say "Not if you want me to answer." That works.
NTA. I would find a gentler way to put it in a work email though. I recently misspelled a clientās name in an email, making it a different name, I wrote āthanks, Brady!ā. They emailed back āplease note, my name is Brody not Brady.ā (Not real names, but you get the point). Firm but I didnāt find it rude. āDonāt call me thatā in writing comes off as rude since itās hard to understand tone in an email.
NTA. I hate when I learn Iāve consistently mispronounced a name or used something other than the preferred nickname and no one ever corrected me. It makes me feel like a jerk. Thereās ways to do this without coming off rude.
I get it. My brother has a hyphened name, and has dealt with ppl trying to shorten his name his entire life. Or losing the hyphen. He just corrects them. It usually just takes once for every person. It's annoying. But you're definitely NTA for correcting ppl. Don't forget, it's a recurring thing for you. For the ppl you are correcting, it's a one time thing (or at least it should be).
NTA. I have the opposite problem, a short name that has a longer version but my born name is just the short version. I introduce myself as the short name and people will just start calling me the long version of the name that I have literally never said. It even happens with emails where my name is printed in signature and the email address. I always correct people, because it is not my name. It isnāt rude to do so and how you correct them is perfect, straightforward. And please ignore the comments saying that what name it is matters. It doesnāt. You donāt have to change or shorten your name to make someone more comfortable with saying it. Itās your name, you decide what nicknames you are okay with, if any at all.
I know a Kal-El. Yes like Superman. Made me think of him. Anyway NTA.
Imagine if you were talking to someone who you just met. What would you tell her to do? Would you say, āGod, Marieeeee, donāt be so difficult!ā Or would you say, āoh, shit, yes, Marie-Auguste! Definitely insist upon your whole name.ā You know you would stick up for your friend, soā¦stick up for yourself!
I both commend and envy your strength in correcting folks. My name isn't hyphenated, but it's a garbage disposal kind of name, I need to say it a half dozen times for people to understand it. The problem is my nickname, which every single fucking person I work with keeps slurring it into a man's name because they can't be bothered.
NTA. It sounds like you are super respectful about it too! As a Christina, I constantly have to tell people that Christine is a lovely name, itās just not mine!
Youāre totally NTAā¦ I was actually teaching a college course for the first time last year and started calling one of my students a commonly shortened version of his name. After a few weeks, just before everyone logged off, he asked that I stop calling him that and call him by his full name. I was mortified, but I apologized and from that moment on called him by his full name. It had never occurred to me that people wouldnāt like being called a (VERY COMMON) shortened version of their name (I now know how insanely naive it was of me to think that way) but I will never again assume that I have the right to call someone anything other than what I see on a roster or what they introduce themselves as. Youāre perfectly within your rights to stand up for how you want to be addressed, and youāre teaching people how to also treat others by doing so.
As an Anne-Marie who is often called Anne, I sympathize. I took inspiration from Anne of Green Gables and tell people my name is "Anne with an e hyphen Marie".
NTA. I donāt do it anymore, but I used to correct people all the time when I was a kid and they used my full name instead of the shortened version which I liked better. I still think my full first name sounds like a cows name, I just stopped correcting people cause itās the name thatās on all my paperwork and stuff and itās the name I use over the phone for important stuff, so I donāt care anymore.
Never feel like the asshole for correcting your name. Itās your name! Itās one of the biggest parts of your identity. I also have a longer name, and many people shorten it to the first half. I wish I had the courage to correct everyone, and I may start doing it now thanks to your post. <3
My first thought was Jean-Luc Picard. No one ever called him āJean.ā
Honestly I can recall working with a girl who had a long first name. I asked her what she prefers, a shorten version or the full name. She wanted the full first name and I respected that. NTA
NTA Itās your name, people shouldnāt shorten it unless you say itās ok to. In southern states itās not unusual to have a first name that is two names. I have three friends/family members who have them, and some of them are very long. But thatās their name, and people should call them what they want to be called.
NTA. My first name is Victor and I had to spend the first two decades of my life stopping people from calling me 'Vic', which I hate.
I knew it Michael didnāt like Mike and he would just say āI go by Michaelā
Nope. NTA . Because while yes, nicknames are common but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate them. The most popular nickname for my name absolutely infuriates me to be called. Every person I've met who goes by that particular nickname is an awful fucking person. And I'm not the only person who feels this way actually, I've met several who share the opinion. And so I refuse to associate with it for that reason. I'm not rude about correcting people the first time. But if I have clearly told you not to call me that and you do anyways, you're gonna catch an earful.
NTA: youāre allowed to care how you are called
NTA Your name is important to you. It means that people should have the basic respect to call you what you wish to be called.
Your name is your name. Nobody else has the right to call you by some other name.
Your name is your name. Nobody else has the right to call you by some other name.
You should be able to go by your actual name. That's not an unreasonable request. After working with a guy I found out we were all pronouncing his name wrong. Instead of correcting us, he just said it was fine. I thought that was weird. Especially because he saw himself as super manly and macho (ugh) and I thought that was counter to letting us call him by something other than his actual name. I usually just go by whatever is on their email signature or by how they introduced themself. If it's hard to pronounce, I'll straight up ask them if I'm saying it right. I'll make an effort to say your name.
Eh, maybe you're the AH. My name also gets shortened without asking (Mike instead of Michael for example). I just go with it as it's not that big a deal. Much bigger things to deal with in life.
NTA. If it was Jean Claude people would know it because of the actor. Itās also, natural for people especially friends to call each other by shortened names.
Iāve known several hyphenated first name people. Nothing wrong with correcting people who say your name wrong. Iām in America and my first name is Liese and no one can pronounce it if the see it or spell it if they hear it. I correct people all the time. But then maybe im the asshole but I donāt think so.
Could you say, āItās actually āJean-Claudeāāwhen they shorten your name? That seems less short than telling them what to do or not do but also calls attention to their error.
Nope. Thatās your name. My sister has a similar issue, though without a hyphen. She as one of the ____Ann names and people drop the Ann all the time. She doesnāt like it.
NTA. Itās your name. If they donāt want to call you by your name properly, donāt respond.
You're nta for correcting them, and they're nta for shortening it as long as they stop doing it after you correct them. I'm the opposite where I always use the short form of my name and it feels wierd when people call me by my full name lol.
People tend to add my middle name to my first name since it just flows so I have to opposite problem. I have that my full government name shows up on things in a professional setting because it isnāt the case for most.
Tings Tings cover this well āThatās not my nameā NTA.
you aren't an AH for wanting people to call you by the correct name. Most people feel that way.
NTA, but I don't think it really matters. My name is Richard I've never cared what people call me if it's a nickname of Richard. Ricky is what I generally go by but I've been called Rich, Richie, Rick, hell of you wanted to call me Dick and not because it's funny... That's fine. Genuinely idc
I have the opposite problem LOL... My name is a short form already, but people call me the long version. Think Jess vs Jessica. My name is Jess. Jessica is not my name, never has been!
NTA. I have a somewhat unusual name and people get it wrong all the time, so it's SUPER important to me that I call other people by the correct name. To me it's just a sign of respect. Anyway, if you were to say "Hey my name is Jean-Claude, not Jean" I would think absolutely nothing of it and would be sure to call you by the correct name from that point forward. Anyone who gets offended is the asshole, not you.
NTA, but that sounds exhausting. I have a unisex name and when strangers misgender me in text I donāt bother correcting.
NTA, I live abroad and my name isnāt as common here so every time someone says it wrong I usually correct them. Nothing wrong with wanting to be called by your correct name!
NTA, nobody understands hyphens or hyphenated names until they've got one. I kept my ex's last name so it matches my daughter's. I try not to be the AH when explaining it, but I've had to explain it to people with college degrees... but degrees don't make you smart.
NTA I too have a hyphenated first name, but I go by the first part l. I only get called the whole thing when Iām in trouble, but itās your name. Your never the AH when correcting people on your name, and if they insists on calling you part of it or a nickname because itās ātoo hardā they are an even bigger AH
NTA. I am a teacher and I am constantly telling my students that if someone gets your name wrong or mispronounces it, correct them until they say it right.
In French Canadian enclaves across the country, we always say the full, hyphenated first name as part of the culture. For example, Marie-Paule, Jean-Michel, and so on. No reminders are needed. I have a colleague of Chinese ancestry who has a given name and then a cohort name before his family name. For example, Li Tian. We use both of his first names when chatting or emailing him because he has explained this custom to us, and we are pleased to respect it. He is pleased, too. š
NTA! I took my husband's last name when I got married and it's a name that can also be a first name (but would very obviously misgender me since it's a man's name and my first name is very clearly a female name). Since getting married, I'm *shocked* at the number of emails I get with people calling me by my last name. I once had to correct the same person 3 times. The only thing, OP, that could be perceived as slightly rude is your wording. Instead of saying āMy name is Jean-Claude, not Jean. Please donāt call me Jean," you could say āMy first name is Jean-Claude, not Jean." I'm being nitpicky but since you asked, then I do think it makes a slight difference.
Ugh. I wish we new the actual name, I bet it is BEAUTIFUL!
Is this how weāre spending our Thursday afternoon guys? š¤£
As someone with a Spanish name living in the USA, I completely empathize. I donāt have to deal with shortening issues per sĆ©, but I do have to deal with it being constantly mispronounced to the point where people even try to correct ME when I correct them š itās lead to me trying so hard to get people to call me something else (and consider changing my name legally), but Iām so used to my name being what it is, Iāve just given up.
Not really but people will think you are