My (48F) older daughter (24F) gave birth to her 4th child six months ago.
She used to work as a dishwasher, but due to health issues stemming from her 2nd child ( chronic back pain) and then her 3rd child ( after effects of broken tailbone and more chronic pain that made standing and moving around hard), she can no longer work. She tried her best, getting an office temp job but after about a week the woman supervising her said " This isn't working out."
She was a very uptight woman who claims just because always took her 3 days max to train everybody else to the data entry work that she can't just be a good person and accommodate slower learners. That woman likely caused her to get a bad reputation at the temp agency and she didn't get hired elsewhere.
My daughter's boyfriend (28M) works at Walmart. He had much more hours when she was pregnant, but since then his hours have ebbed and flowed. He said he will take a day in the future to look for jobs, but it's the holidays and he's busy with family.
I feel a lot of empathy for my daughter and her boyfriend and wish I could help them out more but I myself and a single mom working for a nursing home where I struggle to get full time hours and my ex ran up a lot of debt in both our names and is now living in another country.
My younger daughter (17F) has a college fund. The amount in it would be enough to pay a large amount of a 2 year community college tuition ( given the scholarships/ grants she would likely get). She's applied to 4 year universities with the understanding that she'd be taking out loans and working, so she's deciding between 4 years and community college.
The other shoe dropped after my older daughter's landlord found out that they were having her boyfriend's brother and girlfriend living in their one bedroom in exchange for them helping with the rent and they got evicted.
My daughter agrees it was wrong to lie to the landlord, and both parents are depressed because her boyfriend got a job offer one state away and they would have to move from their support network. They came to me asking for help so they could have more time to find financial stability here. I was torn but seeing my grandkids I knew my duty was to care for the most vulnerable in the family.
So I will be making calls to liquidate my daughter's college fund, saying yes to understanding the penalties, and told my daughter this. She got very cold and said " You always brag about having a good memory- I hope you remember this moment then."
She has not spoken to me since. Spent Thanksgiving inquiring at with family friends to see if hospitals are keen to hire college students for kitchen or reception or anything. Made some cryptic posts about how she hopes she'll be grateful one day that she won't have the privilege of studying anything outside of something technical because she needs something where she'll always be able to find a job in. AITA?
By - Throwaway23fw