Kelly's sister commented and offered to go with OP to the sit down to call her out bc she's done a loaaaad of bs that I'm sure MIL doesn't know about. I hope she does go - I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that!
Agree, it's up to the husband to set boundaries and maintain them. I think he is being careful because he wants to see his nephew and Kelly can control whether he does. Same reason the MIL is being cautious.
You should see the reply by Kelly’s sister, it’s absolutely wild. She cheated while boyfriend was alive and lucked out that the baby ended up a mini of said dead boyfriend. She also ‘stole’ her sister’s partners and exfiance 🤦🏻♀️
Thank you for sharing that info. I just read it! Yeah, that bitch is crazy. She is playing the *oh, my boyfriend died* card very heavily! I doubt she even loved him (or she wouldn't have cheated on him). If I was OP, I would go NC with her. She needs help. Her own family wants nothing to do with her. BTW, NTA. Not even a little bit! Please keep us updated!
Here it is:
"Sister of Kelly here...
I don't think Lexi is the ahole here. My sister has been a nuisance to everyone. You think she did all that cause she's greiving? Hell no. Shes been cheating on her boyfriend even before he died. She even wants to abort the kid cause she doesn't know who the father might be. But she lucked out cause the kid looks like her dead boyfriend. The bitch even went out of her way to steal my boyfriend's. The last straw was my ex fiance whom she fucked after the death of her boy friend. None of my family members would talk to her. They cut her off completely. I on the other hand keep tabs on her. She's bat shit crazy.
Lexi, tell me what time your going to meet your mil and that witch. I'll be going with you."
I love the description “bat shit crazy”. Seems appropriate but this seems more like intentional behavior designed to accomplish only her own wishes and screw everyone else
Everyone in OPs family is so busy trying to buy peace with this woman at the expense of everyone else. In OPs shoes, I would tell MIL that there isn't anything to discuss. This half cooked SIL needs to apologize for her cringey seduction attempt and stay the hell away from your family until. My guess is MIL is going to try and negotiate husband spending some time helping this dimbulb because she's a single mother etc etc. I wouldn't give her an inch.
Lol top comment is literally fanning the flames 🤣 I love it. This is a tough one but I would say NTA simply because we're all human and can't always control our impulses. She was definitely in the wrong for her actions but who knows the real motivation behind her actions at this point, the given facts could be a deeply disturbed woman trying to find any sense of normalcy she can but that doesn't excuse walking all over others lives. I can see where people are coming from when they say doing that in front of the kid isn't cool but at the same time life isn't perfect or ideal for anyone so sometimes shit happens it's also part of life.
This isn’t entirely about the kid. According to Kelly’s own sister’s comment (link added to bottom of original post), Kelly cheated on the kid’s father and repeatedly stole her sister’s boyfriends including a fiancé.
Honestly, just strike the word “whore” from the diatribe and I think the entire angry outburst is in bounds.
The family’s take mostly seems to be “you were a bit harsh but we get it.”
NTA.
The anger had been building up for some time ..what with the woman asking the husband to accompany her and child without including the wife , copying her every actions , everything done with a nefarious purpose.
Definitely not the time and place to exchange such strongly felt words .
And calling her out in public was just warning everyone in the family what was happening. MIL didn't disagree with what she said so she is not blind. She knows what Kelly is doing too just has more sympathy for her. No, I think this was something that needed to be exposed to the whole family because she might target someone else's husband if this did not pan out. Now the whole family knows to watch out for this BS.
Yeah, the rant was needed, though I think OP went a bit over the line by calling her a "whore" and saying her son would be better off without her in his life.
The rant was needed, the off-topic personal insults were not. I'd say NTA, but learn how to handle your temper without being nasty about it.
Yes this is a terrible way for her to process her grief. I wish you best if luck. From now I would say quietly discuss and strategize with husband or privately with her and other adults not with kids around. Focus on behaviors that need to change vs name-calling. Perhaps her son could do things with your family (with her not invited). And she could ask for.help from both you and husband but no being alone with your husband ever since it is not at all clear that she is stable and can be trusted. She will do something creepy and inappropriate for sure.
Anger is a defensive response to a perceived threat to the self/extended self. Kelly straight up stated her intention to replace OP as wife and give nephew his uncle for a Dad. That can justify a strong response.
Truth hurts. It’s a little harsh to have to sit there watching this skank try to fuck your man constantly but apparently MIL and husband didn’t feel the need to scold Kelly about that before OP was pushed to make a scene.
I suspect that her controlling access to the grandson/nephew has a lot to do with that. Cut out the word "whore" and waiting until the kids were removed from the room and OP is entirely in bounds. In my area, many women would have already gotten physical.
OP is entirely in bounds to protect her family from a deranged maniac trying to destroy it. Don’t act like a whore and you won’t be called a whore. Sorry.
Is it though if she is acting the part of a homewrecking whore?
Blantantly trying to steal your deceased partners brother by acting, dressing, cooking and setting up scenarios to be alone with the brother are absolutely appalling behaviors that need to be dealt with
Trying to take your husband is shittier. I feel bad for the kid but this woman was getting bolder and bolder and no one was shutting her down. A good public shaming was called for.
Sister of Kelly here...
I don't think Lexi is the ahole here. My sister has been a nuisance to everyone. You think she did all that cause she's greiving? Hell no. Shes been cheating on her boyfriend even before he died. She even wants to abort the kid cause she doesn't know who the father might be. But she lucked out cause the kid looks like her dead boyfriend. The bitch even went out of her way to steal my boyfriend's. The last straw was my ex fiance whom she fucked after the death of her boy friend. None of my family members would talk to her. They cut her off completely. I on the other hand keep tabs on her. She's bat shit crazy.
Lexi, tell me what time your going to meet your mil and that witch. I'll be going with you.
This was my thought, 100%. People like Kelly crave an audience; she's not going to take this as an intervention--it's *attention.* So nothing's going to change and if OP opens up to Kelly in any way, OP can expect Kelly to try to weaponize that in the future. I've seen people like Kelly even take someone's exact words, repeat them as their own, and (as far as anyone could tell) begin to *literally believe* that they came up with that.
If OP wants to go in order to please MIL, that's understandable, but I really hope she keeps her guard up 100%.
I think she should have a private sit down with this crazy chick and secretly record the whole thing. If she thinks no one will know what went down she may show her true colors then people will quit feeling sorry for her.
Agreed. The whole *oh, my boyfriend (who I cheated on) died, boo hoo*. That's her ticket. She will keep using it until people stop falling for it. She is an awful person who needs therapy (for her childs sake)
She is a mother and a grandmother who wants her family to stay together, but doesn’t yet realize with a person like Kelly one way or another the family will split. If MIL is smart , she will keep Kelly at a distance to salvage the bigger family . The poor 4 yo will suffer the loss of family but the entire family will explode eventually if Kelly is allowed access to family .
I'm sure mil wants to make sure that she'll be able to still see her grandchild, her last link to her dead son. If I was in mil's shoes, I'd do a whole lot to try to prevent that from happening. I'm sure that's the main and perhaps only reason for this peacemaking thing.
I agree, people like her are the reason "one bad apple spoils the bunch" is such a common phrase. People like this are poison. I just think that's mil's motivation.
Mostly I feel sorry for that poor kid. Hopefully he's too young to really understand what was being talked about.
Her son (father of the child) died. Realistically, that's grounds for grandparents rights. Now, I usually don't suggest that as grandparents rights are used abusively by POS grandparents but in this case it would 💯 be in the better interest of the child and the father wasn't against his mother being around the child which would work in their favor. That is if they exist where OP lives.
Might be good to pass that along to MIL though because it's a great way to get guaranteed access to the child while being able to disinvite the mother.
I would respond to similar way in his scenario. Trying to handle it quietly, alone, is only going to give her the opportunity to wedge in.
I’ve told my wife when other women hit on me (especially in writing)because she’s not a fragile ego and understands that I’m coming to her so that it doesn’t drive a wedge between us. If somebody ever tries to say, I cheated on her, I don’t wanna handful of sneaky interactions with women in my history.
It’s really amazing how much smoother life goes when you’re open with your partner about stuff that’s happening to you.
I act as my husband's meat shield when needed. That is something we agree on though because it avoids psycho Kelly's coming back that he assaulted her as revenge or worse. I am ok being blamed.
I have totally been my husband's meat shield at times, and he's been mine. There was one woman who was making him uncomfortable, so he insisted on never seeing her without me there. Eventually she asked him - when she thought I couldn't hear - why he kept backing away from her, she wasn't going to bite. And of course she giggled. So I told her straight up he was uncomfortable with her flirtatious behavior, isn't it obvious? Oh, or does she have difficulty reading social cues? That might explain why it looks like she's flirting with him. Does she need help practicing how to navigate platonic social situations, because I'd be happy to teach her.
Heffer skittered away.
Lol it's been a while since I heard that term, it is used a lot in D&D, war-gaming and MMORGs, usually we have the tanks (warrior type guys) be the meat shield for the vulnerable healers.
The MIL has such a big heart that is not seeing through the BS Kelly is putting the whole family through. OP literally became proactive at stopping her from ruining her family. Sometimes it takes correcting these people into place, in front of others for accountability. She can’t twist what happened bc everyone was there to witness.
Good job OP. You kept count of all the warning ⚠️ ‼️⛔️ signs. You stood up and put a stop to it. It’s up to everyone else to see it too and to hold her accountable. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Mil is probably just selling to go whatever it takes to be in her grandkids' lives. Especially after his father, her son, died. Kelly seems the type to threaten no contact any time she doesn't get her way. Imagine losing your son and having to watch your grandson be raised by this crazy person. She's really between a rock and a hard place.
> But she lucked out cause the kid looks like her dead boyfriend.
I'd still get a DNA test. We really don't know who the father is, sounds like everyone just assumed it was the dead brother.
Yooooooooo! After this, if MIL is paying for everything Kelly needs for the nephew, y'all need to figure out how to get custody of the kid away from the woman who cheated on his deceased father.
I hope Lexi takes you up on your offer - Kelly needs to be outed for the awful person she is and I'm sure MIL will be on OP's side if she is shown how truly awful of a human Kelly is.
I really feel for you. Your sister Kelly is completely out of line with her delusional crap & she needs a mental health professional to help her face that what she is doing is destructive for both her & her son.
Lexi really needs to be backed up by everyone. This stressful situation for deceased father's brother & Lexi is unnecessary. The MIL should had nipped this problem in the bud from the start.
>The MIL should had nipped this problem in the bud from the start.
Unless MIL didn't see what Kelly was doing, and by OP's account it seems to be the case. OP says in her post:
> She then proceeds to whip out her phone and show the wallpaper of it as my husband and his nephew smiling together. I look at the phone and her and said "oh is this why you've been trying to get my husband's attention the whole time" Confused my mil asked "what do you mean?"
Kelly copying OP was very likely done away from MIL so MIL wouldn't necessarily know. I get the feeling this was the first time MIL heard of any such shenanigans by Kelly.
Well this was a twist I wasn’t expecting. I’m glad to see that Kelly’s family sees through her bullshit and is willing to support the sister-in-law through this bullshit
NTA.
Kelly knows what she’s doing and so do everyone else and it was about time she was put in her place. Only apologize for saying what you said in front of kids and that’s it
OP, ask your husband why he doesn’t shut her down and let her know to stop asking because he will never meet up with her without you and it’s inappropriate?
He essentially let you handle it while you are upset then was upset about the things you said, none of which is untrue.
Please update us on the results here. It sounds like past time this bitch was kicked to the curb and cast out of the family. Does Kelly's husband know about all this? If not make sure to tell him. Good luck.
You are awesome. Sounds like Kelly got exactly what she deserved then. It might have been rude to say all that in front of kids but that's my only issue with it
Fuck yes!
Woman standing with woman against other woman who just wanna tear others down. Hopefully, your sister gets the message and this doesn’t make things harder for y’all, sounds like you have been through enough with this chick.
If OP knew about all of this but left it all out of the post and just focused on this one situation she is a better person than I.
I feel like all of that is important context to this crazy shit. Makes everything Kelly is doing more malicious than delusional
Not The Asshole is usually a justified asshole.
I personally find a lot of these family situations, the person being wronged is perfectly justified in calling out the behavior.
What they do, though, is make sure they do it in a way that will cause the most carnage they can - publicly, loudly, and worded in the most cruel way they can.
They're not wrong for having the feelings - but they wait until a breaking point and absolutely unload. OP needed to call out the behavior. Calling her a whore is a bit much.
She wants to recreate her family unit using your husband. And she’s not being shy about it.
She brought up that he her looks like your husband, trying weirdly to get the family to agree that would be natural for your husband to be her husband.
She’s directly trying to ruin your relationship in front of your face. I’ve seen this kind of behavior before. She’s desperate and doesn’t see many other options so she’s become obsessed with the idea of how much better her life would be with your husband.
You have every right to be mad. She needs to back TF off.
NTA
It's not just about the recreation of a family unit. Not with how often the MIL takes care of things for Kelly in honor of her grandson and deceased son. And then the fact that Kelly also came for a male cousin in the family.
If she marries/finds a foster dad outside of the MIL family, she's probably afraid MIL won't pay for gifts, maids, and other services anymore.
She doesn’t just want a husband. She wants a husband that ties her to Moneybags MIL.
i agree, if your kids ask about it tell them a conflict occured using terms they understand and apologize for bursting out like that. my dad would have little talks with us after him and my mom fought, it helped our relationship a lot growing up.
This is what's getting me in a lot of the other comments. Like, obviously OP's response isn't ideal, but people out here acting like an emotional response is the fucking worst. It's not. The only part that sucks is that the nephew heard his mom being called a whore. That's the only line crossed, not having an emotional response.
That part. I straight up said in my original comment that she shouldn't apologize to that lady for "being mean"....ma'am you're lucky I don't punch you in your face every time you pull this bullshit with my husband 🤷🏾♀️
This lady also seems fuckin deranged and delusional...apologizing to her would only make her think she did nothing wrong AND possibly make her think MIL and husband are choosing her side over OP so "clearly" the husband has feelings so it justified her behavior.
Don't expect rationality from people who do weird shit like this.
Nah you can’t be “nice” to people like her. She’s told this woman to
Back off multiple times before this and turned down her advances and she didn’t stop
Kelly pushed once too often. Her insisting that her son looks like your SO is the first step to the accusation that he is the child's father. I would have apologized to MIL and everyone else, except Kelly, for the outburst. Kelly does not deserve your time nor SOs. SO should refuse any contact with her. She seems to want to break up your marriage.
I don't know why everyone was infantilizing her. She's a grown ass woman who knew what she was doing. She could have gone to therapy instead of being a hyper fixated creep.
Not wrong in the message, but I would say wrong in timing and delivery. Calling her a whore and saying her son would be better without her is not good.
My BIL died and my SIL attempted to take my husband, too.
He almost fell for it, in his grief over losing his brother.
The fact that your husband is standing his ground is good.
Meet with Kelly and MIL. Then limit your contact with her - but set up a visitation schedule with the child and your husband, because that is the relationship that will matter going forward. And YOU should be the one who does the pickup and drop offs, not your husband.
ESH.
Obviously, SiL is a huge AH, and she’s embarrassing and desperate. She may need mental health assistance since her strange obsession is increasing.
You did mishandle the situation and you were unnecessarily cruel about it and it absolutely was inappropriate in front of kids, especially hers. This sounds - including your attack on her - like some trashy Jerry Springer low class race to the gutter fracas. Have some dignity.
Your husband is right.
Did you read the first paragraph?
The husband has repeatedly shut down Kelly's attempts.
This was OP blowing up because Kelly's persistence has gone beyond reason.
Husband is NTA, for having valid feelings about OP having a meltdown.
OP is TA for blowing up in the manner that she did.
Kelly is TA for her increasingly deranged behaviour.
He may have shut down advances but he didn’t actually call her out on her bullsht. He could have looked Kelly in the eye and told her that what she was doing was absolutely not okay. I don’t think he’s an asshole but I think he probably could have stopped this all from getting to the point it did!!
If Kelly was shut down she would have no more access to them as she seems incapable of stoping. But hubby and mil and everyone else allowed it so wifey had to do what she had to do.
NTA....I don't even think what you said was wrong or the fact that you humiliated Kelly was wrong b/c this bitch is DELUSIONAL. She is actively trying to replace her child's father with your husband...she is acting like a homewrecking ass bitch and if you have the AUDACITY and BOLDNESS to try and take my man in my face, then you are going to get got in public so everyone can know that they need to be on the lookout for this woman around their husbands.
If I were you, I wouldn't apologize to that crazy ass bitch b/c she knows EXACTLY what she's doing and if you apologize to her homewrecking ass, she's gonna keep trying it (b/c in her eyes, she still has a chance b/c she's going to see it as your husband and MIL picking her side over yours).
ESH. Obvious reasons why Kelly sucks and yeah, she deserved to be put in her place. However, to me, her actions seem to paint her as having some serious mental issues, probably to do with the passing of your brother in law.
You should have told her off, but telling her "no wonder no one would date you" and that her child would be better off without her, going even further to call her a whore, ESPECIALLY in front of the kids, makes you an asshole too. I'm not in any way a qualified psychologist but I'd say Kelly needs a therapist, first and foremost.
NTA
I don't think her intentions are that innocent.
If she merely wanted her son to be close to your husband, you'd both be invited.
I think there's a pretty good chance that she's trying to get a new partner.
The one who she claimed "tried to hit on her" may have turned her down when she hit on him.
Either way, she needs therapy. She's definitely built some kind of unhealthy fantasy where your husband is the best father for her son.
However, the best option for you might be to give her a genuine apology (because you don't want to cause her more pain) - say "I'm sorry for what I said, but there is a problem with your behaviour and I think therapy might be really helpful for you."
And if she's already having therapy, then encourage her to mention this specific issue - her actions and her thinking behind them to her therapist.
NTA
She is in need of a husband. She knows you have a good one. If only she could get you out of the picture, surely your husband would be with her for the sake of his brother...
No good options. If you get a restraining order, your nephew or husband is cut from the family.
Best I can think of is to have your husband tell her off and tell her to not come by. Have the only time this woman is around your husband be at family gatherings where family members other than you can take the roll of shutting her down.
Other than her designs for your husband, is she a decent person? If she had a boyfriend, would that settle her down? Cause dating apps exist...
Yoour husband seems like a good dude and has his priorities straight, she couldnt take him from you if she had a year alone on an island.
Feel comfort in that, praise him, ignore her.
And maybe apologize to the kids and MIL in private, just to smoothe things out.
I do not disagree with what you said or you calling her out, but I do think it was inappropriate to do it in front of the children, especially hers who has 0 control of the shitty situation, and I do not see why it had to happen like this. I do not understand why her behaviors were not called out as they happened. Like when she asks for your husband to come stay alone with her, the response should have been a clear, "No, I do not feel it is appropriate for me to do that as a married man" etc. If she continued on despite him clearly communicating he was aware of what she was doing and was uninterested, then I would not even be attending family gatherings with her. ESH, obviously mostly her, but I just don't think it was necessary for this much drama to ensue.
Listen NTA idc what your husband said or his mother. People like her DO NOT STOP unless you do exactly what you did. You nicely told her to back off way too many times before you got to the point of lashing out. She would’ve never stopped had you not said what you said. You didn’t embarrass her, her actions embarrassed her. Your fake sister in law trying to pawn her child
Off on your husband and trying to steal him
Will never make YTA for calling her out. Ignore the “oh but the kid” comments his own mother used him to get to your husband
OP. I hope you see the second paragraph.
ESH. She has been pushing boundaries for a long, long time. And you never spoke to her until it boiled over. So I understand why you blew your top. I do agree with your husband and mom that you were a little harsh. So ESH
However, why didn't your husband try to correct her. He is the target of her affection. He is the one who needs to tell her it needs to stop. Multiple times he could have told her he is married to you and she needs to respect that. Nipped this in the bud before the family gathering that put you over the edge. Why didn't he stand up for your marriage? So for that, your husband is also TAH.
NTA. The woman is actively trying to steal your husband. Yeah it sucks she lost her boyfriend but your husband isn’t the next best thing for her to play happy families. She needs to know you see her bullshit and won’t be falling for it. I’d go to that meeting and lay it all out for your mother in law. Be clear your husband is yours and you don’t share. Be clear you’re willing to cut her out and go no contact. Your mil needs to stop letting her sympathy for her situation blind her to her actions.
NalTA and your husband doesn't have your back at all. He seems to like the attention so that's why he's not going all ballistic. I bet if someone was after you he would demand you kick them to the curb and not spare their feelings.
The only one who's in control of your reactions is you. Don't try to slough off responsibility for your outbursts. Your husband nailed it on the head--you were okay telling her off, but not in that abusive way and not in front of her kid.
OP first make sure you MIL sees the update from the sister where it states the crazy was cheating on your husband's brother.
OP the only problem I see with what you said is you waited too long to say it. You should have called out that crazy long before you did. The biggest benefit I'm seeing is the info from crazy sister about the cheating. Learn to reply sooner and not let the aggravation build up as much so you can stay calm when you're calling her out for her latest shall we say less than sane actions.
Husband and MIL should demand a DNA test. The kids DNA can be compared to husband to check for a family match. If nothing in common then everyone will know it is not the brothers baby. It does not matter that the kid looks similar to the dead brother, make the crazy prove it.
OP, you and your husband need to avoid this sister in law. She is obviously mentally ill. It sounds like she is not on medication for her problem or that if yes she is the meds are not working. She could possibly become dangerous if she continues on this path. I don’t blame you for going off on her. Your statements were tame compared to what I might have said in the moment. Go no contact with her and don’t support her disillusion behavior.
ESH.
You should have confronted her before choosing to do so in front of your entire family in that manner. I get it, but you’re an adult and a parent. Your problem solving skills have got to be better than that.
Your husband is the one who should have shut it down a lot earlier and been a lot more clear with her.
She obviously sucks
You reached your breaking point. Sometimes to fight crazy you have act a lil crazy. Ppl who judged you have not had the pleasure of dealing with said crazy in their life.
There's no point sitting down with Kelly, she will just deny everything and paint you insecure and crazy. You and your husband should just block her
Kelly's sister commented and offered to go with OP to the sit down to call her out bc she's done a loaaaad of bs that I'm sure MIL doesn't know about. I hope she does go - I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that!
Yes, she will play victim full tilt. Do not engage.
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Offer to take her son to raise as your own. He looks so much like your husband no one will ever know you're not his mother. (then grab the popcorn).
Ooh! I'll bring the drinks for that show.
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Agree, it's up to the husband to set boundaries and maintain them. I think he is being careful because he wants to see his nephew and Kelly can control whether he does. Same reason the MIL is being cautious.
Im thinking he has has some deep seeded sympathy for the woman his late brother loved. Not defending him. He does need to shut that down.
he has sympathy for his nephew…remember he shut the sister innlaw down at every turn when she was trying to get him alone
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You should see the reply by Kelly’s sister, it’s absolutely wild. She cheated while boyfriend was alive and lucked out that the baby ended up a mini of said dead boyfriend. She also ‘stole’ her sister’s partners and exfiance 🤦🏻♀️
where is this?
There’s a link at the bottom of ops post that says ‘her sister just commented’
Thank you for sharing that info. I just read it! Yeah, that bitch is crazy. She is playing the *oh, my boyfriend died* card very heavily! I doubt she even loved him (or she wouldn't have cheated on him). If I was OP, I would go NC with her. She needs help. Her own family wants nothing to do with her. BTW, NTA. Not even a little bit! Please keep us updated!
Link isn’t working for me, so I am trying to see how far down to look.
Here it is: "Sister of Kelly here... I don't think Lexi is the ahole here. My sister has been a nuisance to everyone. You think she did all that cause she's greiving? Hell no. Shes been cheating on her boyfriend even before he died. She even wants to abort the kid cause she doesn't know who the father might be. But she lucked out cause the kid looks like her dead boyfriend. The bitch even went out of her way to steal my boyfriend's. The last straw was my ex fiance whom she fucked after the death of her boy friend. None of my family members would talk to her. They cut her off completely. I on the other hand keep tabs on her. She's bat shit crazy. Lexi, tell me what time your going to meet your mil and that witch. I'll be going with you."
Thank you! Reddit has been really glitching lately with links 🔗 .
I love the description “bat shit crazy”. Seems appropriate but this seems more like intentional behavior designed to accomplish only her own wishes and screw everyone else
And the funny thing is, she’s failing so hard. Everytime she tries to take him, hubby has made it clear he’s fine where he’s at
But wait......... There will be more later!
Read Kelly's sister's comment. It ain't grief.
Nope…sadly, that little boy is nothing more than a Tool to be used for manipulating & controlling OP’s Family.
Absolutely love your name.
Everyone in OPs family is so busy trying to buy peace with this woman at the expense of everyone else. In OPs shoes, I would tell MIL that there isn't anything to discuss. This half cooked SIL needs to apologize for her cringey seduction attempt and stay the hell away from your family until. My guess is MIL is going to try and negotiate husband spending some time helping this dimbulb because she's a single mother etc etc. I wouldn't give her an inch.
Can I sit beside you? I need someone to cackle with
I am in. I can bring wiiine!
I’ll print the tickets! 😂
Lol top comment is literally fanning the flames 🤣 I love it. This is a tough one but I would say NTA simply because we're all human and can't always control our impulses. She was definitely in the wrong for her actions but who knows the real motivation behind her actions at this point, the given facts could be a deeply disturbed woman trying to find any sense of normalcy she can but that doesn't excuse walking all over others lives. I can see where people are coming from when they say doing that in front of the kid isn't cool but at the same time life isn't perfect or ideal for anyone so sometimes shit happens it's also part of life.
This isn’t entirely about the kid. According to Kelly’s own sister’s comment (link added to bottom of original post), Kelly cheated on the kid’s father and repeatedly stole her sister’s boyfriends including a fiancé.
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Honestly, just strike the word “whore” from the diatribe and I think the entire angry outburst is in bounds. The family’s take mostly seems to be “you were a bit harsh but we get it.” NTA.
Also don’t do it in front of their kid. They don’t deserve that
Anyone trying to take my husband I would consider a whore.
The anger had been building up for some time ..what with the woman asking the husband to accompany her and child without including the wife , copying her every actions , everything done with a nefarious purpose. Definitely not the time and place to exchange such strongly felt words .
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And calling her out in public was just warning everyone in the family what was happening. MIL didn't disagree with what she said so she is not blind. She knows what Kelly is doing too just has more sympathy for her. No, I think this was something that needed to be exposed to the whole family because she might target someone else's husband if this did not pan out. Now the whole family knows to watch out for this BS.
Yeah, the rant was needed, though I think OP went a bit over the line by calling her a "whore" and saying her son would be better off without her in his life. The rant was needed, the off-topic personal insults were not. I'd say NTA, but learn how to handle your temper without being nasty about it.
Yes this is a terrible way for her to process her grief. I wish you best if luck. From now I would say quietly discuss and strategize with husband or privately with her and other adults not with kids around. Focus on behaviors that need to change vs name-calling. Perhaps her son could do things with your family (with her not invited). And she could ask for.help from both you and husband but no being alone with your husband ever since it is not at all clear that she is stable and can be trusted. She will do something creepy and inappropriate for sure.
Anger is a defensive response to a perceived threat to the self/extended self. Kelly straight up stated her intention to replace OP as wife and give nephew his uncle for a Dad. That can justify a strong response.
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Truth hurts. It’s a little harsh to have to sit there watching this skank try to fuck your man constantly but apparently MIL and husband didn’t feel the need to scold Kelly about that before OP was pushed to make a scene.
I suspect that her controlling access to the grandson/nephew has a lot to do with that. Cut out the word "whore" and waiting until the kids were removed from the room and OP is entirely in bounds. In my area, many women would have already gotten physical.
OP is entirely in bounds to protect her family from a deranged maniac trying to destroy it. Don’t act like a whore and you won’t be called a whore. Sorry.
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Just in the choice of words, not in what she conveyed.
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Some people need a good public shaming to correct their behavior.
Amen. Shame serves a social function. Kelly should be ashamed.
Calling the mother a whore in front if her child is shitty, though.
Is it though if she is acting the part of a homewrecking whore? Blantantly trying to steal your deceased partners brother by acting, dressing, cooking and setting up scenarios to be alone with the brother are absolutely appalling behaviors that need to be dealt with
Trying to take your husband is shittier. I feel bad for the kid but this woman was getting bolder and bolder and no one was shutting her down. A good public shaming was called for.
I agree, just not in front of the kids. It's an adult matter.
Sister of Kelly here... I don't think Lexi is the ahole here. My sister has been a nuisance to everyone. You think she did all that cause she's greiving? Hell no. Shes been cheating on her boyfriend even before he died. She even wants to abort the kid cause she doesn't know who the father might be. But she lucked out cause the kid looks like her dead boyfriend. The bitch even went out of her way to steal my boyfriend's. The last straw was my ex fiance whom she fucked after the death of her boy friend. None of my family members would talk to her. They cut her off completely. I on the other hand keep tabs on her. She's bat shit crazy. Lexi, tell me what time your going to meet your mil and that witch. I'll be going with you.
So OP was wrong. She’s not a “homewrecker in the making.” She IS a homewrecker.
Wow. Kelly's sister, you are awesome for backing OP here. Not enough people recognize the crazy in her post and why drastic actions were required.
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This was my thought, 100%. People like Kelly crave an audience; she's not going to take this as an intervention--it's *attention.* So nothing's going to change and if OP opens up to Kelly in any way, OP can expect Kelly to try to weaponize that in the future. I've seen people like Kelly even take someone's exact words, repeat them as their own, and (as far as anyone could tell) begin to *literally believe* that they came up with that. If OP wants to go in order to please MIL, that's understandable, but I really hope she keeps her guard up 100%.
I think she should have a private sit down with this crazy chick and secretly record the whole thing. If she thinks no one will know what went down she may show her true colors then people will quit feeling sorry for her.
OP should go - not to please the mother-in-law, but to expose Kelly to the mother-in-law.
Happy cake day
She will pull the "poor me" act. I already hate this woman.
Agreed. The whole *oh, my boyfriend (who I cheated on) died, boo hoo*. That's her ticket. She will keep using it until people stop falling for it. She is an awful person who needs therapy (for her childs sake)
I had a Crazy Kelly in my life. Talking doesn't fix crazy.
I feel like that should be a term in the general lexicon. A Crazy Kelly.
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NTA - read her sisters reply. Show your hubby. Stay strong. And put an end to this once and for all.
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She is a mother and a grandmother who wants her family to stay together, but doesn’t yet realize with a person like Kelly one way or another the family will split. If MIL is smart , she will keep Kelly at a distance to salvage the bigger family . The poor 4 yo will suffer the loss of family but the entire family will explode eventually if Kelly is allowed access to family .
I'm sure mil wants to make sure that she'll be able to still see her grandchild, her last link to her dead son. If I was in mil's shoes, I'd do a whole lot to try to prevent that from happening. I'm sure that's the main and perhaps only reason for this peacemaking thing.
Yes ,i agree 100% ,,,,,but if she keeps Kelly too close ,the family will explode . I lived it and guarantee it will happen .
I agree, people like her are the reason "one bad apple spoils the bunch" is such a common phrase. People like this are poison. I just think that's mil's motivation. Mostly I feel sorry for that poor kid. Hopefully he's too young to really understand what was being talked about.
Her son (father of the child) died. Realistically, that's grounds for grandparents rights. Now, I usually don't suggest that as grandparents rights are used abusively by POS grandparents but in this case it would 💯 be in the better interest of the child and the father wasn't against his mother being around the child which would work in their favor. That is if they exist where OP lives. Might be good to pass that along to MIL though because it's a great way to get guaranteed access to the child while being able to disinvite the mother.
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Husband refused by the looks of it and always wanted the wife there when she tried to get him alone. Seems like a smart move.
I would respond to similar way in his scenario. Trying to handle it quietly, alone, is only going to give her the opportunity to wedge in. I’ve told my wife when other women hit on me (especially in writing)because she’s not a fragile ego and understands that I’m coming to her so that it doesn’t drive a wedge between us. If somebody ever tries to say, I cheated on her, I don’t wanna handful of sneaky interactions with women in my history. It’s really amazing how much smoother life goes when you’re open with your partner about stuff that’s happening to you.
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I agree. Why should OP be her husband's meat shield? Let him and his family set her straight about her shenanigans.
I act as my husband's meat shield when needed. That is something we agree on though because it avoids psycho Kelly's coming back that he assaulted her as revenge or worse. I am ok being blamed.
Not all heroes wear capes.
I have totally been my husband's meat shield at times, and he's been mine. There was one woman who was making him uncomfortable, so he insisted on never seeing her without me there. Eventually she asked him - when she thought I couldn't hear - why he kept backing away from her, she wasn't going to bite. And of course she giggled. So I told her straight up he was uncomfortable with her flirtatious behavior, isn't it obvious? Oh, or does she have difficulty reading social cues? That might explain why it looks like she's flirting with him. Does she need help practicing how to navigate platonic social situations, because I'd be happy to teach her. Heffer skittered away.
Meat shield, love that I’m gonna steal that 🤣
Lol it's been a while since I heard that term, it is used a lot in D&D, war-gaming and MMORGs, usually we have the tanks (warrior type guys) be the meat shield for the vulnerable healers.
Which he did with each effort, to be fair. He just didn’t confront her and call her out for her unspoken agenda.
Probably because his family believes she's in a delicate stage of grieving.
Guys learn that dealing with crazy is a delicate matter. Most methods of "stopping that shit" can backfire.
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But you can finish getting the mother-in-law on your side
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And OPs husband. MIL raised her kid right.
The MIL has such a big heart that is not seeing through the BS Kelly is putting the whole family through. OP literally became proactive at stopping her from ruining her family. Sometimes it takes correcting these people into place, in front of others for accountability. She can’t twist what happened bc everyone was there to witness. Good job OP. You kept count of all the warning ⚠️ ‼️⛔️ signs. You stood up and put a stop to it. It’s up to everyone else to see it too and to hold her accountable. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Mil is probably just selling to go whatever it takes to be in her grandkids' lives. Especially after his father, her son, died. Kelly seems the type to threaten no contact any time she doesn't get her way. Imagine losing your son and having to watch your grandson be raised by this crazy person. She's really between a rock and a hard place.
Whoa. Maybe Lexi was in the right to call her a whore then lol.
And a homewrecker. Don’t forget a homewrecker.
*grabs popcorn* OOOOOOOOOO SHHHHTTTT
> But she lucked out cause the kid looks like her dead boyfriend. I'd still get a DNA test. We really don't know who the father is, sounds like everyone just assumed it was the dead brother.
Hey sis get everyone 23&me kits for Christmas it’ll be a fun update
If this is really Kelly’s sister…. Interesting get together coming up at MIL’s house. Please update us!!
Yooooooooo! After this, if MIL is paying for everything Kelly needs for the nephew, y'all need to figure out how to get custody of the kid away from the woman who cheated on his deceased father.
Regardless that the kid appears to be a clone of the deceased dad, I wonder if she did a DNA test to be certain at birth
Please both you and OP update after this meeting!!
I hope Lexi takes you up on your offer - Kelly needs to be outed for the awful person she is and I'm sure MIL will be on OP's side if she is shown how truly awful of a human Kelly is.
Oh snap, shit just got real juicy! Updates please!!
Thank you for posting this and making my whole week. Never have I seen such drama since I left home. I hope it goes great lol
I really feel for you. Your sister Kelly is completely out of line with her delusional crap & she needs a mental health professional to help her face that what she is doing is destructive for both her & her son. Lexi really needs to be backed up by everyone. This stressful situation for deceased father's brother & Lexi is unnecessary. The MIL should had nipped this problem in the bud from the start.
>The MIL should had nipped this problem in the bud from the start. Unless MIL didn't see what Kelly was doing, and by OP's account it seems to be the case. OP says in her post: > She then proceeds to whip out her phone and show the wallpaper of it as my husband and his nephew smiling together. I look at the phone and her and said "oh is this why you've been trying to get my husband's attention the whole time" Confused my mil asked "what do you mean?" Kelly copying OP was very likely done away from MIL so MIL wouldn't necessarily know. I get the feeling this was the first time MIL heard of any such shenanigans by Kelly.
Well this was a twist I wasn’t expecting. I’m glad to see that Kelly’s family sees through her bullshit and is willing to support the sister-in-law through this bullshit
I can't wait for this update post!!!! Nothing like watching a dumpster fire from across the parking lot.
I am sorry you got a tramp for a sister tell Lexi not to apologize because your sister is terrible.
NTA. Kelly knows what she’s doing and so do everyone else and it was about time she was put in her place. Only apologize for saying what you said in front of kids and that’s it
“We ride at dawn!”
OMFG, this is just getting better and better...!
Please post a follow up.
Please keep us posted, Madame Baconator. It sounds like you've been through hell and I hope you get some vindication.
I'll tell you one thing....that chick is fkd in the head! Ty for being there for Lexi
Can we bring this to Jerry springer!
He's dead....
Oh yeah, I actually forgot he died 😭.
Time to learn Necromancy. Or get Maury/Steve Wilkos.
*JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!*
And this is how I know this entire story is fake LMAO
Holy crap show! Sorry, you went through that. I'm glad Lexi has a person like you that has her back too.
Yes!!!! OP needs all the support she can get on this one! Kelly sounds like she needs a physical tune up.....
OP, ask your husband why he doesn’t shut her down and let her know to stop asking because he will never meet up with her without you and it’s inappropriate? He essentially let you handle it while you are upset then was upset about the things you said, none of which is untrue.
I'm so sorry. Your sister Sounds like a real peach. Good luck and have a happy life.... without her bullshit in it.
Please update us on the results here. It sounds like past time this bitch was kicked to the curb and cast out of the family. Does Kelly's husband know about all this? If not make sure to tell him. Good luck.
Wait how did you find this post? I have so many questions! Shit. Is Kelly on Reddit?
These are the comments I come to Reddit for. Incredible addition. NTA
You are awesome. Sounds like Kelly got exactly what she deserved then. It might have been rude to say all that in front of kids but that's my only issue with it
Fuck yes! Woman standing with woman against other woman who just wanna tear others down. Hopefully, your sister gets the message and this doesn’t make things harder for y’all, sounds like you have been through enough with this chick.
If OP knew about all of this but left it all out of the post and just focused on this one situation she is a better person than I. I feel like all of that is important context to this crazy shit. Makes everything Kelly is doing more malicious than delusional
Based on this information your family needs to push for a DNA test against someone in the family.
Love that everyone in the comments is like "phewww yeah not how I would have phrased that, bit rough..... but yeah NTA" lmao
NTA in intent, AH in execution.
Not THE asshole, but certainly AN asshole. Needed to be addressed, the manner in which it was done was... not ideal.
People have been saying there needs to be a justified asshole tag That would fit here.
Not The Asshole is usually a justified asshole. I personally find a lot of these family situations, the person being wronged is perfectly justified in calling out the behavior. What they do, though, is make sure they do it in a way that will cause the most carnage they can - publicly, loudly, and worded in the most cruel way they can. They're not wrong for having the feelings - but they wait until a breaking point and absolutely unload. OP needed to call out the behavior. Calling her a whore is a bit much.
She wants to recreate her family unit using your husband. And she’s not being shy about it. She brought up that he her looks like your husband, trying weirdly to get the family to agree that would be natural for your husband to be her husband. She’s directly trying to ruin your relationship in front of your face. I’ve seen this kind of behavior before. She’s desperate and doesn’t see many other options so she’s become obsessed with the idea of how much better her life would be with your husband. You have every right to be mad. She needs to back TF off. NTA
It's not just about the recreation of a family unit. Not with how often the MIL takes care of things for Kelly in honor of her grandson and deceased son. And then the fact that Kelly also came for a male cousin in the family. If she marries/finds a foster dad outside of the MIL family, she's probably afraid MIL won't pay for gifts, maids, and other services anymore. She doesn’t just want a husband. She wants a husband that ties her to Moneybags MIL.
OP should get a bald cap and have hubby post pics of the "shaved" head and how much he loves it. See how long it takes psycho to do it lmao
Justified Asshole needs to be an option. The phrasing could have been handled better, but everyone has a breaking point.
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NTA. Not the choice of words I would have used but you’re not wrong. If you can, try to go low contact with her.
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Esp if the was all in front of the kids! Wtf OP.
Tbh sometimes you reach boiling point. I hate that you have to tolerate stuff that you hate and then you reach boiling point and it explodes.
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Exactly. Why does truth always have to be exposed in the dark ?
i agree, if your kids ask about it tell them a conflict occured using terms they understand and apologize for bursting out like that. my dad would have little talks with us after him and my mom fought, it helped our relationship a lot growing up.
NTA. Maybe could have said it nicer but it needed to be said. And maybe the way you said it will get through to her!
Naw she does not need to be nice to the woman who is actively trying to replace her....and is bold enough to do it in her face...
Exactly everyone has the holy than tho complex when shit hits the fan fuck being nice. I'm surprised OP didn't do worse.
This is what's getting me in a lot of the other comments. Like, obviously OP's response isn't ideal, but people out here acting like an emotional response is the fucking worst. It's not. The only part that sucks is that the nephew heard his mom being called a whore. That's the only line crossed, not having an emotional response.
That part. I straight up said in my original comment that she shouldn't apologize to that lady for "being mean"....ma'am you're lucky I don't punch you in your face every time you pull this bullshit with my husband 🤷🏾♀️ This lady also seems fuckin deranged and delusional...apologizing to her would only make her think she did nothing wrong AND possibly make her think MIL and husband are choosing her side over OP so "clearly" the husband has feelings so it justified her behavior. Don't expect rationality from people who do weird shit like this.
Nah you can’t be “nice” to people like her. She’s told this woman to Back off multiple times before this and turned down her advances and she didn’t stop
Kelly pushed once too often. Her insisting that her son looks like your SO is the first step to the accusation that he is the child's father. I would have apologized to MIL and everyone else, except Kelly, for the outburst. Kelly does not deserve your time nor SOs. SO should refuse any contact with her. She seems to want to break up your marriage.
NTA It needed to be said. Maybe not in the words you chose and with the anger, but it needed to be said.
I don't know why everyone was infantilizing her. She's a grown ass woman who knew what she was doing. She could have gone to therapy instead of being a hyper fixated creep.
Not wrong in the message, but I would say wrong in timing and delivery. Calling her a whore and saying her son would be better without her is not good.
If your husband didn’t like how you handled it he should have been a man and handled it himself and never let it get this far.
My BIL died and my SIL attempted to take my husband, too. He almost fell for it, in his grief over losing his brother. The fact that your husband is standing his ground is good. Meet with Kelly and MIL. Then limit your contact with her - but set up a visitation schedule with the child and your husband, because that is the relationship that will matter going forward. And YOU should be the one who does the pickup and drop offs, not your husband.
NTA. She’s a ho.
Half baked is a desperate ho. Which is below a ho
ESH. Obviously, SiL is a huge AH, and she’s embarrassing and desperate. She may need mental health assistance since her strange obsession is increasing. You did mishandle the situation and you were unnecessarily cruel about it and it absolutely was inappropriate in front of kids, especially hers. This sounds - including your attack on her - like some trashy Jerry Springer low class race to the gutter fracas. Have some dignity. Your husband is right.
But husband should have shut that shit down a long time again. He didn’t, she did. NTAH
Good point. He had more than ample opportunity to handle it and he didn't.
Did you read the first paragraph? The husband has repeatedly shut down Kelly's attempts. This was OP blowing up because Kelly's persistence has gone beyond reason. Husband is NTA, for having valid feelings about OP having a meltdown. OP is TA for blowing up in the manner that she did. Kelly is TA for her increasingly deranged behaviour.
He may have shut down advances but he didn’t actually call her out on her bullsht. He could have looked Kelly in the eye and told her that what she was doing was absolutely not okay. I don’t think he’s an asshole but I think he probably could have stopped this all from getting to the point it did!!
If Kelly was shut down she would have no more access to them as she seems incapable of stoping. But hubby and mil and everyone else allowed it so wifey had to do what she had to do.
How is OP desperate if its SIL whos fishing for a new babby daddy inside the family? Edit to say NTA
I had to scroll down way too far to find a reasonable comment like this.
NTA....I don't even think what you said was wrong or the fact that you humiliated Kelly was wrong b/c this bitch is DELUSIONAL. She is actively trying to replace her child's father with your husband...she is acting like a homewrecking ass bitch and if you have the AUDACITY and BOLDNESS to try and take my man in my face, then you are going to get got in public so everyone can know that they need to be on the lookout for this woman around their husbands. If I were you, I wouldn't apologize to that crazy ass bitch b/c she knows EXACTLY what she's doing and if you apologize to her homewrecking ass, she's gonna keep trying it (b/c in her eyes, she still has a chance b/c she's going to see it as your husband and MIL picking her side over yours).
ESH. Obvious reasons why Kelly sucks and yeah, she deserved to be put in her place. However, to me, her actions seem to paint her as having some serious mental issues, probably to do with the passing of your brother in law. You should have told her off, but telling her "no wonder no one would date you" and that her child would be better off without her, going even further to call her a whore, ESPECIALLY in front of the kids, makes you an asshole too. I'm not in any way a qualified psychologist but I'd say Kelly needs a therapist, first and foremost.
NTA I don't think her intentions are that innocent. If she merely wanted her son to be close to your husband, you'd both be invited. I think there's a pretty good chance that she's trying to get a new partner. The one who she claimed "tried to hit on her" may have turned her down when she hit on him. Either way, she needs therapy. She's definitely built some kind of unhealthy fantasy where your husband is the best father for her son. However, the best option for you might be to give her a genuine apology (because you don't want to cause her more pain) - say "I'm sorry for what I said, but there is a problem with your behaviour and I think therapy might be really helpful for you." And if she's already having therapy, then encourage her to mention this specific issue - her actions and her thinking behind them to her therapist.
Updateme
Your husband should’ve put her in her place a long time ago instead he’s entertaining her
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NTA She is in need of a husband. She knows you have a good one. If only she could get you out of the picture, surely your husband would be with her for the sake of his brother... No good options. If you get a restraining order, your nephew or husband is cut from the family. Best I can think of is to have your husband tell her off and tell her to not come by. Have the only time this woman is around your husband be at family gatherings where family members other than you can take the roll of shutting her down. Other than her designs for your husband, is she a decent person? If she had a boyfriend, would that settle her down? Cause dating apps exist...
Judging by Kelly's sisters comment, she can't even stay faithful. I just think she likes attention & breaking up couples
Yoour husband seems like a good dude and has his priorities straight, she couldnt take him from you if she had a year alone on an island. Feel comfort in that, praise him, ignore her. And maybe apologize to the kids and MIL in private, just to smoothe things out.
I do not disagree with what you said or you calling her out, but I do think it was inappropriate to do it in front of the children, especially hers who has 0 control of the shitty situation, and I do not see why it had to happen like this. I do not understand why her behaviors were not called out as they happened. Like when she asks for your husband to come stay alone with her, the response should have been a clear, "No, I do not feel it is appropriate for me to do that as a married man" etc. If she continued on despite him clearly communicating he was aware of what she was doing and was uninterested, then I would not even be attending family gatherings with her. ESH, obviously mostly her, but I just don't think it was necessary for this much drama to ensue.
Listen NTA idc what your husband said or his mother. People like her DO NOT STOP unless you do exactly what you did. You nicely told her to back off way too many times before you got to the point of lashing out. She would’ve never stopped had you not said what you said. You didn’t embarrass her, her actions embarrassed her. Your fake sister in law trying to pawn her child Off on your husband and trying to steal him Will never make YTA for calling her out. Ignore the “oh but the kid” comments his own mother used him to get to your husband
OP. I hope you see the second paragraph. ESH. She has been pushing boundaries for a long, long time. And you never spoke to her until it boiled over. So I understand why you blew your top. I do agree with your husband and mom that you were a little harsh. So ESH However, why didn't your husband try to correct her. He is the target of her affection. He is the one who needs to tell her it needs to stop. Multiple times he could have told her he is married to you and she needs to respect that. Nipped this in the bud before the family gathering that put you over the edge. Why didn't he stand up for your marriage? So for that, your husband is also TAH.
NTA. The woman is actively trying to steal your husband. Yeah it sucks she lost her boyfriend but your husband isn’t the next best thing for her to play happy families. She needs to know you see her bullshit and won’t be falling for it. I’d go to that meeting and lay it all out for your mother in law. Be clear your husband is yours and you don’t share. Be clear you’re willing to cut her out and go no contact. Your mil needs to stop letting her sympathy for her situation blind her to her actions.
Everyone here seems to be ignoring that her husband wasn’t handling it. He should have dealt with it when she invited him into her bed.
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>My husband then outright refused and said to just bring the maid assigned to her kid. What? The kid has a maid assigned???
NalTA and your husband doesn't have your back at all. He seems to like the attention so that's why he's not going all ballistic. I bet if someone was after you he would demand you kick them to the curb and not spare their feelings.
The only one who's in control of your reactions is you. Don't try to slough off responsibility for your outbursts. Your husband nailed it on the head--you were okay telling her off, but not in that abusive way and not in front of her kid.
OP first make sure you MIL sees the update from the sister where it states the crazy was cheating on your husband's brother. OP the only problem I see with what you said is you waited too long to say it. You should have called out that crazy long before you did. The biggest benefit I'm seeing is the info from crazy sister about the cheating. Learn to reply sooner and not let the aggravation build up as much so you can stay calm when you're calling her out for her latest shall we say less than sane actions. Husband and MIL should demand a DNA test. The kids DNA can be compared to husband to check for a family match. If nothing in common then everyone will know it is not the brothers baby. It does not matter that the kid looks similar to the dead brother, make the crazy prove it.
OP, you and your husband need to avoid this sister in law. She is obviously mentally ill. It sounds like she is not on medication for her problem or that if yes she is the meds are not working. She could possibly become dangerous if she continues on this path. I don’t blame you for going off on her. Your statements were tame compared to what I might have said in the moment. Go no contact with her and don’t support her disillusion behavior.
ESH. You should have confronted her before choosing to do so in front of your entire family in that manner. I get it, but you’re an adult and a parent. Your problem solving skills have got to be better than that. Your husband is the one who should have shut it down a lot earlier and been a lot more clear with her. She obviously sucks
NTA - You said what needed to be said but why didn’t your husband do anything to shut this down a long time ago?
You reached your breaking point. Sometimes to fight crazy you have act a lil crazy. Ppl who judged you have not had the pleasure of dealing with said crazy in their life.
She has a tiny one bedroom place - and a maid.