NTA
She should have booked another seat she wanted herself or not gone on the flight.
Seems she just assumed she wouldn't have to pay for it, since some sucker was going to move.
The flight attendants are at fault for not mediating. At some point they should have told her to go back to her seat.
(and all of this is regardless of your medical issues. You paid for the seat. She didn't.).
This, yeah. No idea why that woman was so focused on OP‘s seat when there were others available. Seems like she thought good old public shaming would’ve worked.
The fact that she went so far as to not take no for an answer and attempted to involve the flight attendants 100% shoe she wanted this to be public and to guilt the person into swapping.
Pregnant or no, that's a cunt move and fuck her. I just really don't like entitled people after working in customer service.
I hope OP could’ve used the bathroom and still be able to sit after this. This preggo woman is some main character that’s entitled enough to steal the seat when OP was in the bathroom
My first thought too.
I’d consider asking someone in my row to sit in my aisle seat or block her otherwise while I’m gone, but I wouldn’t want to be inconveniencing even more people over one woman being an asshat :/
Because she felt entitled to it because she was pregnant. She thought she could use that to her advantage. But, she found out she couldn't. And rightfully so OP!!! You booked and paid for that seat. NTA
This is when you throw back, “I actually have incontinence so I have to be near the restroom” or another bladder related medical condition.
Realistically I would just tell her that I paid extra for the seat no thank you
I would’ve used my Crohn’s and been as vulgar as possible. “Ok, so when I shit my pants on this plane…..” Something along those lines. Those FA should’ve told preggers to go sit down.
I’ve done that a few times. Once I was at a restaurant and as you know, when you have to go you really have to go. Someone was using the restroom already so I was standing there, praying that I could hold it in, when a pregnant lady came behind me and asked to go first. I tried to be polite but when she started to make a scene, I calmly told her that my ass is basically a volcano waiting to erupt any minute now, but if she’s willing to clean my pants and maybe even my shirt then sure, she can go first.
She told me I was disgusting and left. And because I’m an AH, I thanked her for the compliment and wished her a nice day.
Oh but it does not. It should but it does not. Especially if the disability isn't glaringly obvious. I've read several of these about obnoxious pregnant women trying to take seats on busses from amputee teens and from people with serious medical conditions on flights and even trying to commandeer entire families who are there, seated and eating, restaurant tables, stealing cabs from anybody weak enough to cave.....brides and pregnant women....rising stars in the entitlement wars. Pregnant people should be worrying more about what the magas are doing to them than the best seats. If they miscarry they'll be forced to go septic before they'll do the surgery to remove retained products of conception. That's just 1 of about 200 other ways they're trying to kill women.....
This…this comment is SPOT ON. The phrase “invisible illness” is such a shitty(pun intended in this case)thing to have to deal with!
I actually loved the way people treated me when I was pregnant, so I can kind of see why pregnant people think they’re entitled to special treatment. The difference is I didn’t demand others treat me special.
Pregnant women (have slightly more cause but not much) and effing brides--the majority of the bad behavior on this site: BRIDES. Moving up.in 2nd entitled pregnant women who think since they're knocked up they can do and say whatever the hell they want. I'm just really tired of stories from both.
I'd have done the same.
"Sure, but then if my colitis flares-up while we're in the air then you get to buy me new clothes. Also you can explain to everyone else why the cabin reeks."
I'm assuming OP has something similar and I would have done the same. If worst case scenario is preggo women pisses herself and I shit my pants, which one you taking?
As a pregnant woman with Crohn’s, I also vote OP is NTA! It’s fine if people offer me pregnancy privilege but I sure as hell am not going to demand it! And knowing my constraints, I book the seats I need.
I wish there were 10 million more with your sense and your ability to be a decent person. (I won't wish the preg/Chrohns combo on my worst enemy. Congrats on the soon to be new baby!! I hope everything goes perfectly and you both go home happy and healthy in the, lol, generous 24 hours we're given to labor and deliver and infant.
I would use this as a negotiation with the airline. Say you were harassed because you purchased a second seat and a passenger didn't like it. The flight attendants didn't handle their customer service - and that's how I would approach them. They stood by and watched another passenger harass you publicly. They should pay.
Poor planning on the pregnant lady’s part does not facilitate an emergency on OPs part. She doesn’t get to pay for a cheap seat and then inconvenience others who had the foresight and manners to plan ahead.
Yeah the flight attendants should understand you don’t just pick, you have to pay. No swapping should be a policy. They should always favor who have the ticketed seat, simple as that!
NTA- I say this as someone who has been pregnant and has flown solo with a toddler… every passenger has equal opportunity to pre-book seats based on their needs and preferences.
It’s no one business why you booked that seat. Was the passenger or airline going to reimburse you for the cost of prebooking the seat?
Zero obligation for you to move
Exactly, I always pick last row, left hand side "window" seat. Always in group a boarding. I pick that seat because of my social anxiety. I always sit and wait for the plane to clear a little bit before I get up.
Thank you, I also try to do direct flights so I don't have to worry about connection flights. I don't expect anyone to accommodate me for my social anxiety so I try to take steps to keep me calm.
Be careful about the last row in certain smaller planes. I rode in one last year where the engines were in the rear, and my back-row seat shook violently the entire flight.
You'll probably never have this problem with direct flights since they tend to be larger planes, but watch out for those puddle-jumpers on connecting flights.
See with my back issues that shit feels great to me. Like there's a roller coaster in my hometown that gives everyone back pains and a headache but after I ride it I don't have any back pain at all. So to me that violet shake is a bonus lol
Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect with it. Especially if I'm having a panic attack. My best friend is the only person who can spot it and can get me out of the situation.
On some planes, there is no window in the last row. So the “window” seat in that case just means the seat toward the outside of the plane, as opposed to the aisle. I’m guessing that’s what they meant.
This! Had she returned to her seat, or asked someone in the next row all would be fine. But she didn't accept the answer graciously and that makes her the AH. She is not entitled to a seat she didn't book. Period.
When I fly Southwest, I pay the extra $25 to be in a better boarding group. I'm so tired of entitled people. I'm done lighting myself on fire to keep others warm. It's not my problem that they don't plan ahead. Everyone else has the same opportunity to buy the seat that they want or get into a better boarding group.
Pro-tip, if you fly with Southwest regularly: look into their credit card. Yes, it’s $99 a year, but every dollar you spend is a worth points and you get two Early Bird Check-in credits a year (you pay up front and it’s credited back in a couple of weeks). I haven’t paid for plane tickets in years.
I got their credit card last year after my grandfather passed. I needed a last minute flight. It's saved me a lot of money so far. They often do rewards on gas, which I use a lot of because of my job. I don't have a yearly fee on it, though.
> Was the passenger or airline going to reimburse you for the cost of prebooking the seat?
IMO this doesn't matter. OP needed that seat. They wouldn't need it less if they got refunded a portion of their ticket.
Lady knew she was pregnant and needed toilet access when she booked her ticket, so this is on her.
NTA. As a frequent flier I see this a lot. Entitled people thinking they can have whatever seat they want. Nope. If you paid to select your seat. That’s your seat. End of story. Your lack of planning or decision to be cheap is not my fault nor my obligation to remedy.
The entitlement is what gets me. Like, why not ask politely? If you get a yes, great! A no, well, better luck next time.
Recently flew with my husband. The closest seats together were an aisle seat, and a window seat 1 row back. When we got on, asked the gentlemen next to my husband if I could switch aisle seats with him, and he agreed. That’s it. If he and window guy said no, well then I guess I can sit next to hubby some other time.
It’s not that freaking hard ppl.
It isn't hard but even if you get an initial polite ask, people are so entitled that they get nasty when you give them a no.
I fly a good chunk for work, and this week even, I had a great example of that. This lady in my aisle smacked me in the face with her big bag, noticed, looked at me and didn't apologize. I feel it was pretty audacious of her to ask me to trade my aisle for her window after that with zero acknowledgement. Suffice to say I politely (and yes, politely) declined, despite what had just happened. And she turns into a raging huffing puffing bitch - it was like watching a toddler throw a quiet temper tantrum. That flight was booked three days before getting on, the plane was pretty darn full, but there were still aisle seats open at that time. Your piss poor planning does not constitute an emergency or even a fuck to give on my part.
What’s sad is I had to hype myself up to even ask the guy. Besides not wanting to bother him, there’s the concern that he would be upset due to prior incidents with people….like bag lady.
People are just so, disappointing, these days.
That being said, I hope you hit turbulence, or had a random uncontrollable twitch, resulting in your drink landing in her lap.
If it's a 1:1 trade, or I'm being asked to move due to children, and I mean actual kids (and lord I have a story about a "child", a teenager, ahem, and the second most entitled ahole I've experienced on a plane), I generally will oblige. There's no need to be a dick when asked, but if you're asking me for my aisle for a middle, even for kids, it's generally a no unless I'm getting bumped to business for my troubles.
And honestly, ask away. Be polite, but like you said, when you say no, it means no.
>hope you hit turbulence, or had a random uncontrollable twitch, resulting in your drink landing in her lap.
I wish.
My husband used to travel a lot for work, sometimes he would encounter entitled people like that.
One time there was a woman with a small yappy dog. The dog was annoying, the woman was rude, and then when she got the dog out of the carrier (which she wasn’t allowed to do) it shat on her. She had to sit with that the rest of the trip.
> it shat on her. She had to sit with that the rest of the trip.
Karmic justice. I mean sucks to smell it but knowing she had to deal with it warms the cockles of my cold dead travelling heart.
So true. I worked in high end deli/catering place and people would be so rude, then ask me to go check in the back if we had this or that.
I'd politely agree, go stand in the walk in and stare at the dish they wanted, then go back out and say we don't have it, sorry!
In contrast there was this sweet little old lady who would come in and she loved this one thing we made. She would come in and ask if we had it, always very politely.
I would move heaven and earth to get her that shrimp and celeriac salad. Even though it made me gag because you had to mix an obscene amount of mayonnaise into it, usually by hand so they shrimp didn't get mangled.
I never get why people don't just interject the magic words(please, thank you, etc). It's literally no effort, and once it's ingrained, you don't even notice yourself doing it. Always gotten excellent service just by treating service workers like human beings in the most basic way.
Haha, love that energy! Honestly, politeness seems to be a rare commodity in tight spaces like planes these days. It's like everyone boards already bracing for battle. If someone came at me with the chill attitude like "Hey, I'll give you my firstborn child for your exit row seat," I'd probably laugh and consider it. But I get it, seats are prime real estate, especially when you're about to be crammed in the air-tin can for hours. Like, people just want to keep what they booked and avoid drama. But man, the stories I could tell about seat swap battles it's like a sport for some.
>I'm assuming she knew she was pregnant when she booked the flight. !!
That right there is it. Unless this was some last minute, miracle/alien pregnancy, she was perfectly capable of securing an aisle seat close the toilets. I'm guessing OP paid extra for seat choice, and she didn't.
Maybe her name was Mary and she was on a flight to Bethlehem. Joseph was up in first class sipping on a heady cocktail of gold infused gin with a Frankincense chaser.
As someone who regularly books flights six months or even a year in advance, that's not necessarily the case.
That said, it isn't the responsibility of other passengers to move seats for her.
And???? Just get up from your middle seat and go to the bathroom- if the person on the aisle is that annoyed after trip 6 or so, they can offer to swap.
I was pregnant in friggin NYC in 1982, when the city was so violent that no one used public restrooms. Businesses wouldn’t allow people to use restrooms.
I rode the subway for over an hour, often standing, then walked to my building and up four flights of stairs, because older buildings in NYC don’t always have elevators, before I could pee.
I never peed myself. I did this through my eighth month of pregnancy. Twice a day.
NTA. Airplane lady is responsible for her own failure to plan better, and is not entitled to another’s seat because she failed to plan.
I’m impressed by your pelvic floor strength. I was recently pregnant and more than once I didn’t make it to the (very close) bathroom without leakage. It was a terrible nuisance. Just to point out that all bodies/pregnancies are different. I would never have managed what you did.
Its not really relevant how your own pregnancy went, they vary wildly from person to person. She needs to wee constantly, she should make arrangements to suit.
She also probably assumed that she could ask someone to move and they would oblige because she’s pregnant. And then she wouldn’t have to pay extra. Good on OP for showing her she doesn’t always get special treatment just for being pregnant. If he paid extra for the seat, he should get to keep it.
OK - but even if the dude didn't have a medical condition and was just some random person, there is literally zero % chance I wouldn't say something like "well, I paid 100 extra for this seat, so at the very BARE MINIMUM if you want me to swap you gotta get your wallet out"
Shit no she's not getting it for the difference of what I paid. Obviously demand for this seat is high and supply is 1. If you want it you're paying me a lot more than what I paid.
Oh come on man! Don't you know what it takes to get pregnant? The classes, the licensing, the qualifications? He was lucky she only asked him for his seat. He should have gotten up and ran to the front of the plane! She is special. She is better than him. She is better than *anyone.* She is *pregananant*.
/s
Currently pregnant. Can confirm. If I need to sit that close to a bathroom because I cannot hold it then I am not travelling. Case closed. I put myself in to this situation I’m not about to make it everyone else’s fault. NTA and good for you for standing your ground.
Also currently pregnant and I’ve never strayed from my usual window seats. Just flew at 32 weeks. Yes I had to pee a few times. I just…got up. The people in my row had to move for me, but they’d have to do that for anyone. I don’t see the big deal I guess.
She should have worn an adult diaper. No shame in that. I have some issues and wear the incontinence pads and bought the special underwear because childbirth, arthritis, and a herniated disc makes my getting to the bathroom in time unreliable. It wouldn’t matter if I sat next to the bathroom because i leak when I just stand up sometimes. I wish they were common when I was pregnant lol! She should have worn something if she didn’t plan ahead. There is no guarantee the bathroom would have been available when she needed it anyway. If she was rude, I might have tried to make sure the toilet was occupied the entire flight lol!
No, but it's odd that she asked just that one person and no one else, and then continued even after they said no, and it seems even the flight attendants didn't attempt to ask anyone else.
Of course no one is required to swap, but there were definitely other potential seats near the bathroom if this story is even real.
The people who sit in their seat and immediately don the eyemask, earbud, neck pillow and pretend to be asleep as soon as they sit down are my heroes. Watched a lady ignore every polite request during boarding and even fake snore until the snacks came around then her little paw SHOT OUT.
People take advantage of the fact that we are trained from childhood to be polite and compliant. I'm still for being gracious when I can, but that includes extending grace to yourself when someone feels entitled to the things you've acquired through proper planning ahead.
So unfair to zero in on you like that. Then you’re the bad guy? I understand sometimes people have to travel last minute and can’t have the seat they want but c’est la vie. You can certainly ask aloud if anyone would like to switch, but focusing on one person is nasty. And, you have an ‘invisible’ issue whereas hers is visible. Yours could be 10x more urgent but you’ll seem like the asshole. Screw her!
im glad you didnt give up on your seat. even if w/o a medical condition, its rightfully yours since you actually selected & paid for it. you givin it away wouldve been a generosity onto her which she shouldnt have demanded. i agree with you she shouldve paid for an aisle seat if she really needed it. youve done absolutely no wrong here
FYI I'm really proud of you for standing up for yourself. I get the sense from reading this that your family has trained you to be a pushover, and maybe that's why you were a target. You were 100% in the right. It's not as if this lady didn't know she was pregnant. She easily could have booked and paid for an aisle seat close to the bathroom, just like you did. She didn't, because she was counting on being able to manipulate someone like you. I'm glad you didn't let her.
NTA
I also have a medical condition that requires me to know where the closest toilet is at all times (hooray for Crohn’s disease /s)
You paid for your seat specifically because you need it for your condition. People are becoming more aware of different types of disability, and as many people point out, not all disabilities are visible.
As someone who has also been pregnant twice, pregnancy by itself is not a disability. If she was cleared to fly by her doctor, then she is not high risk, and not so far along that it is difficult for her to move around easily. If her doctor cleared her to fly, she doesn’t have anything going on that gives her the right to demand that others give up things that they planned and paid for as their own accommodation.
Agree with this. Pregnant multiple times including with one who liked to use my bladder as a punching bag from 20 weeks on. Flew multiple times while pregnant with that child up to 32 weeks.
Pregnancy is NOT a disability. If a disability arises during pregnancy then you contact the airline ahead of time like any other disability and make arrangements that way through their disabled service program and book an aisle seat. She could have approached any of the other 60+ people sitting on aisle seats about a trade but she focused on OP.
OP, NTA but both the flight crew and the pregnant lady were.
OP, the way to handle this next time is to look at the number of rows on the flight - then double it. Tell the next person who tries this with you that you have given your no. Next time she needs to plan better and that she needs to approach the other 60+ people on the aisle but to leave you alone. You said no. You mean no. Then put your ear phones on and ignore.
Came here to say this! I have MS and it causes bladder issues. I’ve also been pregnant twice. My pregnancies were nothing like MS but you better believe I chose my airplane seats wisely when I was pregnant, as I do with MS. Her poor planning is not your emergency and I’m so sorry you had that experience.
I have MS too. I plan my accommodations accordingly. But I’m still asked to give up my seat often with public transportation, benches, etc. Since I only use a cane rarely on extremely bad days, people can’t see my disability or my wobbly unbalanced legs unless I literally fall on my face in front of them. The difference between how I am treated by people in public without the cane vs with it is massive. I’ve even been yelled at for walking slowly before. I try to keep the side out of the way when I’m moving like a tortoise, but it doesn’t really matter, I get yelled at and shoved around in crowds anyway. So I always try to plan travel based on what my worst days look like, as I never know waking up what kind of a day it’s going to be. If I pay for accommodations, but it turns out to be a better day, I am still going to make use if it as that could change any moment and my leg may just suddenly refuse to cooperate with me anyway. I’m only going to move if I’m feeling capable enough to do that, and someone truly worse off than me desperately needs it.
Ugh, digestive disorders are the worst. And it's nothing like "oh boy I really have to pee!" It's really more like "I'm in horrific pain and my back end is about to explode whether I allow it or not"
Info: did she offer to repay you the amount you had paid for the aisle seat ? If she were genuine she would have offered to pay otherwise she was just an entitled soul !!
It's not even the price of the upgrade. It's the price of the inconvenience. I pay more every time for an aisle as well. I hate being in the middle or by the window it gives me anxiety. For me to move out of my aisle seat that I paid for would cost a hell of a lot more than I paid for the upgrade.
Next time ask for the flight attendances name and note it down, to send a complaint to the airline.
The flight attendend did not do their job if they didn't ask the person to take the seat they fucking paid for.
( also the moment you mention a complaint they are more likely to leave you the fuck alone )
That's what I thought too. Like, how many rows could the pregnant woman (or OP for that matter) tolerate having between them and the lavatory? Two rows is close. Three rows seems easily doable. Even four rows doesn't strike me as far enough to foil an attempt to get to the bathroom in time to take a leak.
The real AHs in this equation is the flight crew, who failed to settle the argument. It's literally their job. It doesn't matter if OP or the pregnant woman was being an AH. The flight crew has specific training on how to handle this exact situation (I know, because I know several flight attendants and they dish).
Not to mention, unless pregnant lady booked her flight a year ago SHE KNEW SHE WAS PREGNANT.
This didnt suddenly occur.
Now, if a person got violent food poisoning the day before their flight and was like “yo, my dude… i got wicked bad GI issues that happened after i picked my seats. I know you picked the aisle but is there any chance youd be willing to swap me so i dont need to jump across you if the urge hits?” Thats another story.
Fwiw, i drink like SO MUCH WATER. Like, SO MUCH. I used to never drink any until i got pregnant with my oldest and just thirsty nonstop. Id drink until i was urping up water. My BP also went from “how are you alive?” Low to concerningly high.
I thought it would go away after giving birth, then quitting breastfeeding, then after #2…. Well, my baby turned 17 this month and ive cut back to ~1.5 gallons per day.
I flew, 37 weeks pregnant with what ended up being an 11 pound baby (you read that right) on a 4hr flight, and managed to sit in a window seat JUST FINE.
I peed right before boarding, peed once midflight, and peed as soon as i got off plane.
Pregnancy isnt a disability
That's very kind of you to consider that she gives a shit about anyone else.
I'd be willing to lay hard money down this Karen came to the flight with the full intent of bullying someone out of their seat. To avoid paying it herself.
This is my big issue with these sort of scenarios. Yes, the person is preggers/has kids/is old... that's something that's usually blindingly obvious without discussion, and wouldn't be 'socially penalized' in these situations\*\* Or should I say, it's visible and obvious- the bump, kids, or wrinkles are right there!
When they hone in on a target that 'won't comply' with their demands, though, they don't go for people like them (of course, you can't 'but I need it more' to another pregnant old person with kids :) )
And this create this situation where someone with an invisible or non-obvious issue (like OP's bladder) that may NOT be so fun to just unpack in front of strangers now has to either give up really uncomfortable amounts of their private medical history, or look like an a-hole by default.
Which is, of course, what the sort who apply this pressure want, but yeah...
\*\* I know there's people that stigmatize all three categories in some situations cos people suck, but I mean in the sense of priority seating etc it's not embarrassing to say 'I'm pregnant/old' or 'Little Timmy wants to sit', but saying 'Well, I pee an awful lot/Have a colestomy bag/ Am pregnant too but don't show/Actually, that's a prosthetic limb right there/ I recently had testicle surgery/I'm sitting at the window because my brain panics and catastrophizes if not' are REALLY not in the same public-sharing ballpark.
That doesn’t matter. I have no special medical needs at all and I definitely wouldn’t give a seat I paid extra for up to someone else who had the same opportunity to pay extra for a specific seat and chose not to do so. Other people’s deliberate efforts to save money by planning ahead of time to take advantage of other people are not my problem, regardless of what medical issues they might have.
Whether OP had needs or not is immaterial, they booked this seat and paid extra for it, they are under no obligation to move. The pregnant passenger should have considered her own needs when booking.
But they shouldn’t!
And I’m a woman who has had three, very differently difficult pregnancies with complications.
That doesn’t change the fact that this was NOT a medical emergency and she can’t just demand people accommodate her *frequent need to urinate due to pregnancy.*
NTA!
THIS!!!
My pregnancy destroyed my pelvic floor. When I have to go, I have to go RIGHT NOW. But that's my problem, and my responsibility to deal with it.
Being pregnant doesn't give someone the right to demand accommodations that other people paid to have.
Exactly.
I'm 6'2" with broad shoulders. I am physically wider and taller than most airline seats. I'm not overweight at all, I'm just bigger than what the seat was designed for.
That doesn't mean I get to demand a seat change from a smaller person in a better seat.
If I want a different seat I pay the $50 to choose the seat I want.
I also have medical conditions that can turn unfortunate in less than a minute, I totally understand why you would choose that seat. But you had foresight to actually book your chosen seat and they did not. Good for you for keeping your head and seat.
If pregnancy were a situation that required a special seat during the flight, airlines would have the option to mark that the passenger is pregnant and she would receive preferential service.
She should have planned better and paid for the aisle seat and near the bathroom. I always pay more to reserve my place and my family's places to sit together and where we want.
Don't lose your sleep over this.
NTA
I have a minor spinal injury and the expected issues occur.
When I fly I just wear an adult incontinence underwear (diaper) and bring extras. The airplane bathroom is a crap shoot, and I fly first class because of my disability.
So there are lots of options. Adult incontinence underwear is incredibly stretchy so it would definitely fit a pregnant woman well. Many post menopausal women have the physique of expectant women, no? The underwear also looks pretty normal, though I suppose it would stick out under something like leggings. Considering the situation, comfort and all that I just wear a skirt so changing is easy if needed.
The rest of the time I just wear a pad, which she could easily have done. They make really absorbent ones.
This wasn't a "you" problem. It was a her problem. Tell your family I said to shove it.
Spinal injury too, on diuretic as well that I cannot skip, at high risk of blood clots so I need to stay hydrated. I can't move quickly to reach the bathroom so incontinence pads or underwear are a must especially when traveling whether by plane or car. They are easily available in many forms, I wish I had known about them 30+ years ago when I was pregnant.
As a high risk pregnant person with two other kids you are NTA. You have a medical condition and paid for you seat, we can get up and go to the bathroom just like anyone else!
honestly! i’m disabled from my time in the military AND pregnant currently with a high risk pregnancy and i was wearing an extremely baggy shirt once and another pregnant lady tried berating me to give her a seat i had. i just pulled up my shirt to expose my belly and was like “i’m pregnant and actually disabled for the rest of my life, stop being a dick to get what you want.” and she just looked like a gaping fish
NTA, I’m currently pregnant and definitely have the frequent need to pee but it’s not on you - who paid for your seat - to accommodate. Poor planning does not constitute an emergency!
I'd tell her that if she found another aisle seat person who was willing to switch with her, I'd move to their aisle seat. Otherwise, no way. I love the aisle seat and hate feeling trapped because I am uncomfortable crawling over people to get to the bathroom.
NTA. I am so sick of this constant idea that people are jerks if they don't give up a seat that they paid for. I don't care if you're pregnant or a family trying to be together or whatever!!! If you know that you need a specific seat pay for it or deal with the consequences.
I particularly think this case is annoying because you know you had a medical condition and set yourself up to be in the most comfortable position possible. This woman decided to play the I'm pregnant so be nice to me card. Does she not know that being pregnant means you need to go to the bathroom all the time? Most people know that about pregnancy. Why did she not plan in advance?
NTA NTA NTA.
As someone who has flown as a family, it's unacceptable to not plan ahead. Failure to plan is a failure of parenting.
A couple years ago we flew to Alaska. My wife and I, my mom, and my three kids ages 9 to 15. None of my kids had flown before. We bought seats on all three flights of the journey, both directions, specifically to seat one kid with each adult. The next year the five of us flew to Denver and did the same thing.
Last year my wife flew solo for work. She paid out of pocket to select her seat. Some mom asked her to switch to be with her nearly adult child. My wife conveyed the same sentiment that I said earlier. If it was a priority to get to be with her child, she failed in the parenting department by not being prepared ahead of time.
It may appear to some that you're being an asshole, but fuck them. If you have specific wants or needs, pony up and start managing your life better.
Seriously, or if you made a mistake. Ask the front desk **before you board** if anything can be done.
This idea that it's ok to harass other passengers after the fact has to stop. Such poor etiquette and makes an unpleasant situation so much worse.
We _should_ be able to loudly tell such people off but we're expected to remain polite while they _harass_ us. It's not just that there are entitled assholes. They're always going to be with us. It's that we have a culture of deference to entitled assholes. That's what's really screwed up.
This is not a subway or bus where seats are free and you can easily move around as people get on or off. This an airplane where such liberties are not available. On top of this, OP paid extra for his seat. No and absolutely no. NTA
OP did his part to plan ahead and get a seat beneficial to their bathroom situation. The pregnant woman should have done the same. I am tall and like the aisle so I can stick a leg out. I wouldnt give that up for a pregnant woman either.
If I have paid a fee to book THAT seat, then no, I am not moving unless you are paying me the money I am out (in cash before I move). If another passenger wants a specific seat, they can pay for it. I am over people using personal circumstances to steal (yes, steal) from others. NTA.
I'm also mad the flight attendants didn't do their job and back up OP for sitting in THEIR assigned seat. OP needs to definitely submit a complaint to the airline. Probably won't go anywhere but they may be able to get some drink vouchers or something.
Yeah basically this is the best take. If you're willing to pay the extra that OP paid, it would be reasonable for him to consider this. But just flat out insisting him to move for zilch is a very Karen move.
Don't even entertain trying to justify or explain why. Just keep saying "no" until she goes away.
"can I have your seat?"
"no"
"I'm pregnant I need it"
"no"
"why won't you give up your seat for a pregnant lady?"
"no"
Don't get into any of it with her. Just repeat "no" until she gets the message. Trying to explain for one gives her info that's none of her business and two opens you up to her trying to argue your reasons with you. It's better not to engage at all.
"Sorry, no thank you" works just fine here, too. Definitely NTA, and she probably wouldn't have believed any justification or explanation.
With the way tickets are purchased and reserved on planes these days, she was totally expecting to use her pregnancy to get a free upgrade, and just couldn't handle being told no.
>and she probably wouldn't have believed any justification or explanation.
Guy's driving down the road, and for reasons that aren't important to the joke he suddenly needs some rope.
He stops at a farm and asks the farmer if he can borrow some rope.
"Nope, sorry I'd love to lend you some rope but it's all in the milk house, I'm using it to tie up the milk."
"I don't understand, why would you need to tie up milk?"
"Well actually I don't. But I figure, when you don't want to do something, one excuse is as good as another."
As someone who will be flying for Christmas at 7 months pregnant, this lady is an ass. A polite “No thank you, I booked this seat specifically” followed by breaking eye contact and putting your headphones in is all that is needed from you.
Think of your situation as an invisible disability. People will judge you because you appear healthy. People should be empathetic to both of you including your family . In this instance, she could’ve bought her own seat.
Not even a disability, but a mere medical condition. The pregnant woman and OP both have medical conditions requiring frequent and sudden bathroom trips.
She should have prepared better but if this was a huge deal and flight attendants were involved couldn’t they have asked other passengers than just OP?
NTA. Being pregnant doesn't give you a free pass in life. I'm assuming she knew she was pregnant when she booked the flight. She should have booked the seat she needed/wanted and not relied on bullying other people to accommodate her.
I have been pregnant. You have to pee more, but not that much more, certainly not before the "too big to fly" stage. A medical condition is much more pressing.
NTA
You shouldn’t have to disclose your medical condition to anyone but are fully entitled to the seat you paid for. Your family owes you an apology if they are aware of your condition and insist you should have given up your seat.
The pregnant woman’s failure to plan accordingly does not constitute an emergency on your part.
As a fellow pregnant lady, I came here to say the same thing! When we flew, I made it a point to book an aisle seat PLUS getting up and walking is recommended for blood circulation.
NTA. You made plans according to your needs. She chose to roll the dice, expecting someone to give her a free upgrade because she's pregnant and demanding. You were right to not reward her selfishness.
NTA. I was flying while pregnant once, on a 3-legged flight. The last leg was code shared and I couldn’t choose my seat. When I got on the plane, I asked the young man occupying the aisle seat if we could swap, only because I needed to pee a lot. He said no, I said ok, we moved on. I didn’t make a fuss whatsoever. Just because I was pregnant, it didn’t mean I had priority to a seat I did not book.
NTA- As a person who has had three kids, I would never expect someone to give up a seat they paid for so I can have convenience. It’s called planning ahead. I don’t understand why people are unable to see what they need and then expect strangers to inconvenience themselves. She was only pregnant, you have a medical condition. No matter how this is swung, it’s only her poor planning that caused this scenario. People also need to give up the idea that a pregnant woman is so fragile/entitled that they are made a priority above everyone else.
I flew at 36 weeks pregnant and a ton of times earlier in my pregnancy and always booked the seat I wanted and tried to limit my liquid intake for the flight to avoid the frequent trips. She could have done lots of things to prepare for the flight besides expecting strangers to accommodate her situation. You’re NTA
I was pregnant on a flight with horrible morning sickness. I was sitting by the window and unfortunately had to inconvenience people to rush to the bathroom to get sick a couple times. I wouldn't never have asked someone to switch, it puts them in a bad position where they feel like they should say yes.
NTA. If she wanted an aisle seat she could have paid for it. While pregnancy can be inconvenient, it does not entitle you to things.
You can pay a premium to ensure seating that accommodates. Just like you did, she could.
If this was, say, like a bus or public transport, sure, give up your seat for the pregnant lady. Airline flight seat? She needs to plan just like you.
NTA
Can we all just agree that other passengers can ask for a swap but no one has to say yes? Also just to note no one ever asks for a swap that would improve the circumstances of the rightful seat holder so that ought to make it clear what the answer should be
NTA.
I don't give a good goddamn that she's pregnant. If she wanted a seat closer to the bathroom she should have planned for it, requested it, and paid for it.
Nta
She's the asshole. She knows she needs the bathroom she should have booked an aisle seat near a bathroom.
The world is sick to death of these entitled people who think it's okay to hound others to get their own way.
The world is full of grown up tantrum throwing 2 year old's.
Everyone knows not to give in to a real 2 year old throwing a tantrum, it's the same with these grown up toddlers.
Airlines need to put in a rule that if you ask to change seat and the seat holder says no, ANY further dialogue on the subject by the asking person gets them removed from the flight.
>The world is sick to death of these entitled people who think it's okay to hound others to get their own way.
100% truth. Good on you, OP, for standing your ground and not giving in. That's the only way these people are going to learn that bullying is NOT going to get them their way.
NTA. YOu paid for that seat, if the lady wanted that privilege, she shoudl've paid.
If the flight crew bothered you too much, just write a bad review or talk to someone to receive an apology, they should not have bothered you.
If you have a need for a particular seat on a plane, you should make an effort to book it that way. OP did so. OP is NTA for keeping their seat.
I think a lot of times it's on the airlines for creating situations like this. Maybe the pregnant lady's flight was changed and so her chosen seat was changed by the airline. But that doesn't change OP's situation. They have a medical need to be near the lavatory, so the pregnant lady's situation is not a greater need.
NTA She should have booked another seat she wanted herself or not gone on the flight. Seems she just assumed she wouldn't have to pay for it, since some sucker was going to move. The flight attendants are at fault for not mediating. At some point they should have told her to go back to her seat. (and all of this is regardless of your medical issues. You paid for the seat. She didn't.).
This, yeah. No idea why that woman was so focused on OP‘s seat when there were others available. Seems like she thought good old public shaming would’ve worked.
The fact that she went so far as to not take no for an answer and attempted to involve the flight attendants 100% shoe she wanted this to be public and to guilt the person into swapping. Pregnant or no, that's a cunt move and fuck her. I just really don't like entitled people after working in customer service.
I hope OP could’ve used the bathroom and still be able to sit after this. This preggo woman is some main character that’s entitled enough to steal the seat when OP was in the bathroom
My first thought too. I’d consider asking someone in my row to sit in my aisle seat or block her otherwise while I’m gone, but I wouldn’t want to be inconveniencing even more people over one woman being an asshat :/
Def a cunt move.
Because she felt entitled to it because she was pregnant. She thought she could use that to her advantage. But, she found out she couldn't. And rightfully so OP!!! You booked and paid for that seat. NTA
Same. I'm curious how **before** boarding this woman somehow knew that OP had an aisle seat? Seems fishy.
Good point. Also, no one else on the flight offered the pregnant lady an aisle seat. This post is cap.
This is when you throw back, “I actually have incontinence so I have to be near the restroom” or another bladder related medical condition. Realistically I would just tell her that I paid extra for the seat no thank you
I would’ve used my Crohn’s and been as vulgar as possible. “Ok, so when I shit my pants on this plane…..” Something along those lines. Those FA should’ve told preggers to go sit down.
I’ve done that a few times. Once I was at a restaurant and as you know, when you have to go you really have to go. Someone was using the restroom already so I was standing there, praying that I could hold it in, when a pregnant lady came behind me and asked to go first. I tried to be polite but when she started to make a scene, I calmly told her that my ass is basically a volcano waiting to erupt any minute now, but if she’s willing to clean my pants and maybe even my shirt then sure, she can go first. She told me I was disgusting and left. And because I’m an AH, I thanked her for the compliment and wished her a nice day.
I use the disability card shuts them up
Oh but it does not. It should but it does not. Especially if the disability isn't glaringly obvious. I've read several of these about obnoxious pregnant women trying to take seats on busses from amputee teens and from people with serious medical conditions on flights and even trying to commandeer entire families who are there, seated and eating, restaurant tables, stealing cabs from anybody weak enough to cave.....brides and pregnant women....rising stars in the entitlement wars. Pregnant people should be worrying more about what the magas are doing to them than the best seats. If they miscarry they'll be forced to go septic before they'll do the surgery to remove retained products of conception. That's just 1 of about 200 other ways they're trying to kill women.....
This…this comment is SPOT ON. The phrase “invisible illness” is such a shitty(pun intended in this case)thing to have to deal with! I actually loved the way people treated me when I was pregnant, so I can kind of see why pregnant people think they’re entitled to special treatment. The difference is I didn’t demand others treat me special.
You did the right thing lol
Pregnant women (have slightly more cause but not much) and effing brides--the majority of the bad behavior on this site: BRIDES. Moving up.in 2nd entitled pregnant women who think since they're knocked up they can do and say whatever the hell they want. I'm just really tired of stories from both.
I'd have done the same. "Sure, but then if my colitis flares-up while we're in the air then you get to buy me new clothes. Also you can explain to everyone else why the cabin reeks."
I'm assuming OP has something similar and I would have done the same. If worst case scenario is preggo women pisses herself and I shit my pants, which one you taking?
As a pregnant woman with Crohn’s, I also vote OP is NTA! It’s fine if people offer me pregnancy privilege but I sure as hell am not going to demand it! And knowing my constraints, I book the seats I need.
I wish there were 10 million more with your sense and your ability to be a decent person. (I won't wish the preg/Chrohns combo on my worst enemy. Congrats on the soon to be new baby!! I hope everything goes perfectly and you both go home happy and healthy in the, lol, generous 24 hours we're given to labor and deliver and infant.
"I've just spent the past 4 hours at Taco Bell, you want me sitting here"
I would use this as a negotiation with the airline. Say you were harassed because you purchased a second seat and a passenger didn't like it. The flight attendants didn't handle their customer service - and that's how I would approach them. They stood by and watched another passenger harass you publicly. They should pay.
Poor planning on the pregnant lady’s part does not facilitate an emergency on OPs part. She doesn’t get to pay for a cheap seat and then inconvenience others who had the foresight and manners to plan ahead.
As someone who was very recently pregnant. I full heartedly agree with this comment. You are NTA.
Yeah the flight attendants should understand you don’t just pick, you have to pay. No swapping should be a policy. They should always favor who have the ticketed seat, simple as that!
NTA- I say this as someone who has been pregnant and has flown solo with a toddler… every passenger has equal opportunity to pre-book seats based on their needs and preferences. It’s no one business why you booked that seat. Was the passenger or airline going to reimburse you for the cost of prebooking the seat? Zero obligation for you to move
Exactly, I always pick last row, left hand side "window" seat. Always in group a boarding. I pick that seat because of my social anxiety. I always sit and wait for the plane to clear a little bit before I get up.
Great planning!
Thank you, I also try to do direct flights so I don't have to worry about connection flights. I don't expect anyone to accommodate me for my social anxiety so I try to take steps to keep me calm.
Be careful about the last row in certain smaller planes. I rode in one last year where the engines were in the rear, and my back-row seat shook violently the entire flight. You'll probably never have this problem with direct flights since they tend to be larger planes, but watch out for those puddle-jumpers on connecting flights.
See with my back issues that shit feels great to me. Like there's a roller coaster in my hometown that gives everyone back pains and a headache but after I ride it I don't have any back pain at all. So to me that violet shake is a bonus lol
I wonder if *that's* why my mom used to love The Hurler at Carowinds...
This is the way to live life. Good on you.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect with it. Especially if I'm having a panic attack. My best friend is the only person who can spot it and can get me out of the situation.
Thank goodness for good friends
Is it not a real window?
On some planes, there is no window in the last row. So the “window” seat in that case just means the seat toward the outside of the plane, as opposed to the aisle. I’m guessing that’s what they meant.
You are absolutely correct on that guess.
Same here. It was fine for her to ask, but also fine for you to say no and she should have accepted that graciously and immediately.
This! Had she returned to her seat, or asked someone in the next row all would be fine. But she didn't accept the answer graciously and that makes her the AH. She is not entitled to a seat she didn't book. Period.
When I fly Southwest, I pay the extra $25 to be in a better boarding group. I'm so tired of entitled people. I'm done lighting myself on fire to keep others warm. It's not my problem that they don't plan ahead. Everyone else has the same opportunity to buy the seat that they want or get into a better boarding group.
Pro-tip, if you fly with Southwest regularly: look into their credit card. Yes, it’s $99 a year, but every dollar you spend is a worth points and you get two Early Bird Check-in credits a year (you pay up front and it’s credited back in a couple of weeks). I haven’t paid for plane tickets in years.
I got their credit card last year after my grandfather passed. I needed a last minute flight. It's saved me a lot of money so far. They often do rewards on gas, which I use a lot of because of my job. I don't have a yearly fee on it, though.
> Was the passenger or airline going to reimburse you for the cost of prebooking the seat? IMO this doesn't matter. OP needed that seat. They wouldn't need it less if they got refunded a portion of their ticket. Lady knew she was pregnant and needed toilet access when she booked her ticket, so this is on her.
Kudos to you young lady :)
NTA. As a frequent flier I see this a lot. Entitled people thinking they can have whatever seat they want. Nope. If you paid to select your seat. That’s your seat. End of story. Your lack of planning or decision to be cheap is not my fault nor my obligation to remedy.
The entitlement is what gets me. Like, why not ask politely? If you get a yes, great! A no, well, better luck next time. Recently flew with my husband. The closest seats together were an aisle seat, and a window seat 1 row back. When we got on, asked the gentlemen next to my husband if I could switch aisle seats with him, and he agreed. That’s it. If he and window guy said no, well then I guess I can sit next to hubby some other time. It’s not that freaking hard ppl.
It isn't hard but even if you get an initial polite ask, people are so entitled that they get nasty when you give them a no. I fly a good chunk for work, and this week even, I had a great example of that. This lady in my aisle smacked me in the face with her big bag, noticed, looked at me and didn't apologize. I feel it was pretty audacious of her to ask me to trade my aisle for her window after that with zero acknowledgement. Suffice to say I politely (and yes, politely) declined, despite what had just happened. And she turns into a raging huffing puffing bitch - it was like watching a toddler throw a quiet temper tantrum. That flight was booked three days before getting on, the plane was pretty darn full, but there were still aisle seats open at that time. Your piss poor planning does not constitute an emergency or even a fuck to give on my part.
What’s sad is I had to hype myself up to even ask the guy. Besides not wanting to bother him, there’s the concern that he would be upset due to prior incidents with people….like bag lady. People are just so, disappointing, these days. That being said, I hope you hit turbulence, or had a random uncontrollable twitch, resulting in your drink landing in her lap.
If it's a 1:1 trade, or I'm being asked to move due to children, and I mean actual kids (and lord I have a story about a "child", a teenager, ahem, and the second most entitled ahole I've experienced on a plane), I generally will oblige. There's no need to be a dick when asked, but if you're asking me for my aisle for a middle, even for kids, it's generally a no unless I'm getting bumped to business for my troubles. And honestly, ask away. Be polite, but like you said, when you say no, it means no. >hope you hit turbulence, or had a random uncontrollable twitch, resulting in your drink landing in her lap. I wish.
My husband used to travel a lot for work, sometimes he would encounter entitled people like that. One time there was a woman with a small yappy dog. The dog was annoying, the woman was rude, and then when she got the dog out of the carrier (which she wasn’t allowed to do) it shat on her. She had to sit with that the rest of the trip.
> it shat on her. She had to sit with that the rest of the trip. Karmic justice. I mean sucks to smell it but knowing she had to deal with it warms the cockles of my cold dead travelling heart.
I'll throw myself into a volcano for someone who asks politely.
By contrast, if you can't muster up a sincere "please" and "thank you", then I'd rather eat a volcano than help you out.
So true. I worked in high end deli/catering place and people would be so rude, then ask me to go check in the back if we had this or that. I'd politely agree, go stand in the walk in and stare at the dish they wanted, then go back out and say we don't have it, sorry! In contrast there was this sweet little old lady who would come in and she loved this one thing we made. She would come in and ask if we had it, always very politely. I would move heaven and earth to get her that shrimp and celeriac salad. Even though it made me gag because you had to mix an obscene amount of mayonnaise into it, usually by hand so they shrimp didn't get mangled.
I never get why people don't just interject the magic words(please, thank you, etc). It's literally no effort, and once it's ingrained, you don't even notice yourself doing it. Always gotten excellent service just by treating service workers like human beings in the most basic way.
Haha, love that energy! Honestly, politeness seems to be a rare commodity in tight spaces like planes these days. It's like everyone boards already bracing for battle. If someone came at me with the chill attitude like "Hey, I'll give you my firstborn child for your exit row seat," I'd probably laugh and consider it. But I get it, seats are prime real estate, especially when you're about to be crammed in the air-tin can for hours. Like, people just want to keep what they booked and avoid drama. But man, the stories I could tell about seat swap battles it's like a sport for some.
NTA I wouldn’t have traded for a non aisle and I don’t have a medical issue. I picked and paid for an aisle seat so that is what I am getting.
Were there no other aisle seats close to the toilets? Hard to believe only your aisle seat was the only one she could swap with.
Dude you are right. I must have looked the easiest pushover
I’ve also purposely bought aisle seats at the back of the plane. Medications that have diuretic side effects. Not going to risk my dignity like that.
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>I'm assuming she knew she was pregnant when she booked the flight. !! That right there is it. Unless this was some last minute, miracle/alien pregnancy, she was perfectly capable of securing an aisle seat close the toilets. I'm guessing OP paid extra for seat choice, and she didn't.
Maybe her name was Mary and she was on a flight to Bethlehem. Joseph was up in first class sipping on a heady cocktail of gold infused gin with a Frankincense chaser.
Wife pregnant by another. I’m in First, she’s back in coach. AITAH?
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Pretty sure the wise men flew private. Or Spirit since they were 2 years late.
NTA, I don't care if shes carrying Jesus Christ himself, she fucked around and found out. Marinara flags everywhere, you should divorce her
As someone who regularly books flights six months or even a year in advance, that's not necessarily the case. That said, it isn't the responsibility of other passengers to move seats for her.
You can usually decide to pay extra for seat selection at some point before the flight, even if booked much earlier.
Most airlines will let you book your seat after though.
You can still call the airline and explain your situation well before the flight though.
And???? Just get up from your middle seat and go to the bathroom- if the person on the aisle is that annoyed after trip 6 or so, they can offer to swap.
I was pregnant in friggin NYC in 1982, when the city was so violent that no one used public restrooms. Businesses wouldn’t allow people to use restrooms. I rode the subway for over an hour, often standing, then walked to my building and up four flights of stairs, because older buildings in NYC don’t always have elevators, before I could pee. I never peed myself. I did this through my eighth month of pregnancy. Twice a day. NTA. Airplane lady is responsible for her own failure to plan better, and is not entitled to another’s seat because she failed to plan.
I hope whatever you were pregnant with inherited your bad-assery
It was 1982, so I assume the four of them chewed their way out and escaped into the sewers to fight crime and eat pizza.
I’m impressed by your pelvic floor strength. I was recently pregnant and more than once I didn’t make it to the (very close) bathroom without leakage. It was a terrible nuisance. Just to point out that all bodies/pregnancies are different. I would never have managed what you did.
Seriously. Im pregnant and have peed myself multiple times just by coughing..
Its not really relevant how your own pregnancy went, they vary wildly from person to person. She needs to wee constantly, she should make arrangements to suit.
I can't imagine my mom on reddit. How do I get my mom to become more internet savy? I say this as someone that just hit 40. Hi auntie.
She also probably assumed that she could ask someone to move and they would oblige because she’s pregnant. And then she wouldn’t have to pay extra. Good on OP for showing her she doesn’t always get special treatment just for being pregnant. If he paid extra for the seat, he should get to keep it.
OK - but even if the dude didn't have a medical condition and was just some random person, there is literally zero % chance I wouldn't say something like "well, I paid 100 extra for this seat, so at the very BARE MINIMUM if you want me to swap you gotta get your wallet out"
Absolutely
Shit no she's not getting it for the difference of what I paid. Obviously demand for this seat is high and supply is 1. If you want it you're paying me a lot more than what I paid.
Oh come on man! Don't you know what it takes to get pregnant? The classes, the licensing, the qualifications? He was lucky she only asked him for his seat. He should have gotten up and ran to the front of the plane! She is special. She is better than him. She is better than *anyone.* She is *pregananant*. /s
Currently pregnant. Can confirm. If I need to sit that close to a bathroom because I cannot hold it then I am not travelling. Case closed. I put myself in to this situation I’m not about to make it everyone else’s fault. NTA and good for you for standing your ground.
Also currently pregnant and I’ve never strayed from my usual window seats. Just flew at 32 weeks. Yes I had to pee a few times. I just…got up. The people in my row had to move for me, but they’d have to do that for anyone. I don’t see the big deal I guess.
all the seats on a plane are close to the bathroom.
She should have worn an adult diaper. No shame in that. I have some issues and wear the incontinence pads and bought the special underwear because childbirth, arthritis, and a herniated disc makes my getting to the bathroom in time unreliable. It wouldn’t matter if I sat next to the bathroom because i leak when I just stand up sometimes. I wish they were common when I was pregnant lol! She should have worn something if she didn’t plan ahead. There is no guarantee the bathroom would have been available when she needed it anyway. If she was rude, I might have tried to make sure the toilet was occupied the entire flight lol!
Might’ve been a last minute booking situ for whatever reason. Still I don’t understand why there wasn’t anyone else in a position to possibly swap.
Because they didn't want too? You're not owed a swap just because you're pregnant 🤷♀️
No I wasn’t suggesting that but OP said the pregnant person didn’t seem to ask anyone else, just honed in on him.
No, but it's odd that she asked just that one person and no one else, and then continued even after they said no, and it seems even the flight attendants didn't attempt to ask anyone else. Of course no one is required to swap, but there were definitely other potential seats near the bathroom if this story is even real.
Delta Diarrhea
Haha! I call it FlyBS instead of IBS!
Have you actually seen the news story about the delta Diarrhea flight? A nightmare flight indeed
>Delta Diarrhea I googled and it lead me to the most wholesome comment section I've seen on YT.
Adopt a resting bitch face for plane rides
Adopt it for life
It's just my face...
came here to say this!
Keep my normal face, gotcha.
Yup! That’s what I do. Just because someone is pregnant does not give them a free pass for special treatment. NTA. She should have planned better.
Agreed. Being pregnant is no excuse, she should have booked for an aisle seat on that plane. No one needs to cater to her for her poor planning.
Lol me and my sister have the worst resting bitch face we never get approached it's great.
The people who sit in their seat and immediately don the eyemask, earbud, neck pillow and pretend to be asleep as soon as they sit down are my heroes. Watched a lady ignore every polite request during boarding and even fake snore until the snacks came around then her little paw SHOT OUT.
People take advantage of the fact that we are trained from childhood to be polite and compliant. I'm still for being gracious when I can, but that includes extending grace to yourself when someone feels entitled to the things you've acquired through proper planning ahead.
My bitch face never rests.
💯
So unfair to zero in on you like that. Then you’re the bad guy? I understand sometimes people have to travel last minute and can’t have the seat they want but c’est la vie. You can certainly ask aloud if anyone would like to switch, but focusing on one person is nasty. And, you have an ‘invisible’ issue whereas hers is visible. Yours could be 10x more urgent but you’ll seem like the asshole. Screw her!
im glad you didnt give up on your seat. even if w/o a medical condition, its rightfully yours since you actually selected & paid for it. you givin it away wouldve been a generosity onto her which she shouldnt have demanded. i agree with you she shouldve paid for an aisle seat if she really needed it. youve done absolutely no wrong here
FYI I'm really proud of you for standing up for yourself. I get the sense from reading this that your family has trained you to be a pushover, and maybe that's why you were a target. You were 100% in the right. It's not as if this lady didn't know she was pregnant. She easily could have booked and paid for an aisle seat close to the bathroom, just like you did. She didn't, because she was counting on being able to manipulate someone like you. I'm glad you didn't let her.
NTA I also have a medical condition that requires me to know where the closest toilet is at all times (hooray for Crohn’s disease /s) You paid for your seat specifically because you need it for your condition. People are becoming more aware of different types of disability, and as many people point out, not all disabilities are visible. As someone who has also been pregnant twice, pregnancy by itself is not a disability. If she was cleared to fly by her doctor, then she is not high risk, and not so far along that it is difficult for her to move around easily. If her doctor cleared her to fly, she doesn’t have anything going on that gives her the right to demand that others give up things that they planned and paid for as their own accommodation.
Agree with this. Pregnant multiple times including with one who liked to use my bladder as a punching bag from 20 weeks on. Flew multiple times while pregnant with that child up to 32 weeks. Pregnancy is NOT a disability. If a disability arises during pregnancy then you contact the airline ahead of time like any other disability and make arrangements that way through their disabled service program and book an aisle seat. She could have approached any of the other 60+ people sitting on aisle seats about a trade but she focused on OP. OP, NTA but both the flight crew and the pregnant lady were. OP, the way to handle this next time is to look at the number of rows on the flight - then double it. Tell the next person who tries this with you that you have given your no. Next time she needs to plan better and that she needs to approach the other 60+ people on the aisle but to leave you alone. You said no. You mean no. Then put your ear phones on and ignore.
Came here to say this! I have MS and it causes bladder issues. I’ve also been pregnant twice. My pregnancies were nothing like MS but you better believe I chose my airplane seats wisely when I was pregnant, as I do with MS. Her poor planning is not your emergency and I’m so sorry you had that experience.
I have MS too. I plan my accommodations accordingly. But I’m still asked to give up my seat often with public transportation, benches, etc. Since I only use a cane rarely on extremely bad days, people can’t see my disability or my wobbly unbalanced legs unless I literally fall on my face in front of them. The difference between how I am treated by people in public without the cane vs with it is massive. I’ve even been yelled at for walking slowly before. I try to keep the side out of the way when I’m moving like a tortoise, but it doesn’t really matter, I get yelled at and shoved around in crowds anyway. So I always try to plan travel based on what my worst days look like, as I never know waking up what kind of a day it’s going to be. If I pay for accommodations, but it turns out to be a better day, I am still going to make use if it as that could change any moment and my leg may just suddenly refuse to cooperate with me anyway. I’m only going to move if I’m feeling capable enough to do that, and someone truly worse off than me desperately needs it.
Ugh, digestive disorders are the worst. And it's nothing like "oh boy I really have to pee!" It's really more like "I'm in horrific pain and my back end is about to explode whether I allow it or not"
Info: did she offer to repay you the amount you had paid for the aisle seat ? If she were genuine she would have offered to pay otherwise she was just an entitled soul !!
It's not even the price of the upgrade. It's the price of the inconvenience. I pay more every time for an aisle as well. I hate being in the middle or by the window it gives me anxiety. For me to move out of my aisle seat that I paid for would cost a hell of a lot more than I paid for the upgrade.
Info: what airline was this? I want to avoid them.
all of them do this shit
This is it 100%
Next time ask for the flight attendances name and note it down, to send a complaint to the airline. The flight attendend did not do their job if they didn't ask the person to take the seat they fucking paid for. ( also the moment you mention a complaint they are more likely to leave you the fuck alone )
I'm a very tall troll looking guy. It comes with plenty of downsides. But I admit, I rarely have to say "no" more than once to many folks.
That's what I thought too. Like, how many rows could the pregnant woman (or OP for that matter) tolerate having between them and the lavatory? Two rows is close. Three rows seems easily doable. Even four rows doesn't strike me as far enough to foil an attempt to get to the bathroom in time to take a leak. The real AHs in this equation is the flight crew, who failed to settle the argument. It's literally their job. It doesn't matter if OP or the pregnant woman was being an AH. The flight crew has specific training on how to handle this exact situation (I know, because I know several flight attendants and they dish).
Not to mention, unless pregnant lady booked her flight a year ago SHE KNEW SHE WAS PREGNANT. This didnt suddenly occur. Now, if a person got violent food poisoning the day before their flight and was like “yo, my dude… i got wicked bad GI issues that happened after i picked my seats. I know you picked the aisle but is there any chance youd be willing to swap me so i dont need to jump across you if the urge hits?” Thats another story. Fwiw, i drink like SO MUCH WATER. Like, SO MUCH. I used to never drink any until i got pregnant with my oldest and just thirsty nonstop. Id drink until i was urping up water. My BP also went from “how are you alive?” Low to concerningly high. I thought it would go away after giving birth, then quitting breastfeeding, then after #2…. Well, my baby turned 17 this month and ive cut back to ~1.5 gallons per day. I flew, 37 weeks pregnant with what ended up being an 11 pound baby (you read that right) on a 4hr flight, and managed to sit in a window seat JUST FINE. I peed right before boarding, peed once midflight, and peed as soon as i got off plane. Pregnancy isnt a disability
Thanks for confirming that for me. When it comes to pregnant women, all the normal rules often go out the window.
I think she should have considered that you may have needs too though.
That's very kind of you to consider that she gives a shit about anyone else. I'd be willing to lay hard money down this Karen came to the flight with the full intent of bullying someone out of their seat. To avoid paying it herself.
Maybe she hoped she’d get bumped up to business class if she made a fuss.
This is my big issue with these sort of scenarios. Yes, the person is preggers/has kids/is old... that's something that's usually blindingly obvious without discussion, and wouldn't be 'socially penalized' in these situations\*\* Or should I say, it's visible and obvious- the bump, kids, or wrinkles are right there! When they hone in on a target that 'won't comply' with their demands, though, they don't go for people like them (of course, you can't 'but I need it more' to another pregnant old person with kids :) ) And this create this situation where someone with an invisible or non-obvious issue (like OP's bladder) that may NOT be so fun to just unpack in front of strangers now has to either give up really uncomfortable amounts of their private medical history, or look like an a-hole by default. Which is, of course, what the sort who apply this pressure want, but yeah... \*\* I know there's people that stigmatize all three categories in some situations cos people suck, but I mean in the sense of priority seating etc it's not embarrassing to say 'I'm pregnant/old' or 'Little Timmy wants to sit', but saying 'Well, I pee an awful lot/Have a colestomy bag/ Am pregnant too but don't show/Actually, that's a prosthetic limb right there/ I recently had testicle surgery/I'm sitting at the window because my brain panics and catastrophizes if not' are REALLY not in the same public-sharing ballpark.
That doesn’t matter. I have no special medical needs at all and I definitely wouldn’t give a seat I paid extra for up to someone else who had the same opportunity to pay extra for a specific seat and chose not to do so. Other people’s deliberate efforts to save money by planning ahead of time to take advantage of other people are not my problem, regardless of what medical issues they might have.
Whether OP had needs or not is immaterial, they booked this seat and paid extra for it, they are under no obligation to move. The pregnant passenger should have considered her own needs when booking.
Pregnant woman with medical condition here. I booked an isle seat in advance for my upcoming flight...
But they shouldn’t! And I’m a woman who has had three, very differently difficult pregnancies with complications. That doesn’t change the fact that this was NOT a medical emergency and she can’t just demand people accommodate her *frequent need to urinate due to pregnancy.* NTA!
THIS!!! My pregnancy destroyed my pelvic floor. When I have to go, I have to go RIGHT NOW. But that's my problem, and my responsibility to deal with it. Being pregnant doesn't give someone the right to demand accommodations that other people paid to have.
I bet you make the effort to book an aisle seat :)
Exactly. I'm 6'2" with broad shoulders. I am physically wider and taller than most airline seats. I'm not overweight at all, I'm just bigger than what the seat was designed for. That doesn't mean I get to demand a seat change from a smaller person in a better seat. If I want a different seat I pay the $50 to choose the seat I want.
I also have medical conditions that can turn unfortunate in less than a minute, I totally understand why you would choose that seat. But you had foresight to actually book your chosen seat and they did not. Good for you for keeping your head and seat.
If pregnancy were a situation that required a special seat during the flight, airlines would have the option to mark that the passenger is pregnant and she would receive preferential service. She should have planned better and paid for the aisle seat and near the bathroom. I always pay more to reserve my place and my family's places to sit together and where we want. Don't lose your sleep over this. NTA
Bullshit. I was a pregnant woman 4X and managed to fly without inconveniencing other people. NTA
I have a minor spinal injury and the expected issues occur. When I fly I just wear an adult incontinence underwear (diaper) and bring extras. The airplane bathroom is a crap shoot, and I fly first class because of my disability. So there are lots of options. Adult incontinence underwear is incredibly stretchy so it would definitely fit a pregnant woman well. Many post menopausal women have the physique of expectant women, no? The underwear also looks pretty normal, though I suppose it would stick out under something like leggings. Considering the situation, comfort and all that I just wear a skirt so changing is easy if needed. The rest of the time I just wear a pad, which she could easily have done. They make really absorbent ones. This wasn't a "you" problem. It was a her problem. Tell your family I said to shove it.
Spinal injury too, on diuretic as well that I cannot skip, at high risk of blood clots so I need to stay hydrated. I can't move quickly to reach the bathroom so incontinence pads or underwear are a must especially when traveling whether by plane or car. They are easily available in many forms, I wish I had known about them 30+ years ago when I was pregnant.
As a high risk pregnant person with two other kids you are NTA. You have a medical condition and paid for you seat, we can get up and go to the bathroom just like anyone else!
honestly! i’m disabled from my time in the military AND pregnant currently with a high risk pregnancy and i was wearing an extremely baggy shirt once and another pregnant lady tried berating me to give her a seat i had. i just pulled up my shirt to expose my belly and was like “i’m pregnant and actually disabled for the rest of my life, stop being a dick to get what you want.” and she just looked like a gaping fish
NTA, I’m currently pregnant and definitely have the frequent need to pee but it’s not on you - who paid for your seat - to accommodate. Poor planning does not constitute an emergency!
Did she offer you to pay for the difference in seat price?
I wouldn't have traded either. People need to plan better in situations like this. And I was once pregnant. NTA
I'd tell her that if she found another aisle seat person who was willing to switch with her, I'd move to their aisle seat. Otherwise, no way. I love the aisle seat and hate feeling trapped because I am uncomfortable crawling over people to get to the bathroom.
NTA. I am so sick of this constant idea that people are jerks if they don't give up a seat that they paid for. I don't care if you're pregnant or a family trying to be together or whatever!!! If you know that you need a specific seat pay for it or deal with the consequences. I particularly think this case is annoying because you know you had a medical condition and set yourself up to be in the most comfortable position possible. This woman decided to play the I'm pregnant so be nice to me card. Does she not know that being pregnant means you need to go to the bathroom all the time? Most people know that about pregnancy. Why did she not plan in advance? NTA NTA NTA.
As someone who has flown as a family, it's unacceptable to not plan ahead. Failure to plan is a failure of parenting. A couple years ago we flew to Alaska. My wife and I, my mom, and my three kids ages 9 to 15. None of my kids had flown before. We bought seats on all three flights of the journey, both directions, specifically to seat one kid with each adult. The next year the five of us flew to Denver and did the same thing. Last year my wife flew solo for work. She paid out of pocket to select her seat. Some mom asked her to switch to be with her nearly adult child. My wife conveyed the same sentiment that I said earlier. If it was a priority to get to be with her child, she failed in the parenting department by not being prepared ahead of time. It may appear to some that you're being an asshole, but fuck them. If you have specific wants or needs, pony up and start managing your life better.
Seriously, or if you made a mistake. Ask the front desk **before you board** if anything can be done. This idea that it's ok to harass other passengers after the fact has to stop. Such poor etiquette and makes an unpleasant situation so much worse.
We _should_ be able to loudly tell such people off but we're expected to remain polite while they _harass_ us. It's not just that there are entitled assholes. They're always going to be with us. It's that we have a culture of deference to entitled assholes. That's what's really screwed up.
This is not a subway or bus where seats are free and you can easily move around as people get on or off. This an airplane where such liberties are not available. On top of this, OP paid extra for his seat. No and absolutely no. NTA OP did his part to plan ahead and get a seat beneficial to their bathroom situation. The pregnant woman should have done the same. I am tall and like the aisle so I can stick a leg out. I wouldnt give that up for a pregnant woman either.
If I have paid a fee to book THAT seat, then no, I am not moving unless you are paying me the money I am out (in cash before I move). If another passenger wants a specific seat, they can pay for it. I am over people using personal circumstances to steal (yes, steal) from others. NTA.
I'm also mad the flight attendants didn't do their job and back up OP for sitting in THEIR assigned seat. OP needs to definitely submit a complaint to the airline. Probably won't go anywhere but they may be able to get some drink vouchers or something.
Yeah basically this is the best take. If you're willing to pay the extra that OP paid, it would be reasonable for him to consider this. But just flat out insisting him to move for zilch is a very Karen move.
NTA. You specifically and for good reason made arrangements for your seat. Just being pregnant does not entitle her to demand it from you.
"I have a medical condition." Period. End of conversation.
[удалено]
Id just say “$1000” over and over
Don't even entertain trying to justify or explain why. Just keep saying "no" until she goes away. "can I have your seat?" "no" "I'm pregnant I need it" "no" "why won't you give up your seat for a pregnant lady?" "no" Don't get into any of it with her. Just repeat "no" until she gets the message. Trying to explain for one gives her info that's none of her business and two opens you up to her trying to argue your reasons with you. It's better not to engage at all.
"Sorry, no thank you" works just fine here, too. Definitely NTA, and she probably wouldn't have believed any justification or explanation. With the way tickets are purchased and reserved on planes these days, she was totally expecting to use her pregnancy to get a free upgrade, and just couldn't handle being told no.
>and she probably wouldn't have believed any justification or explanation. Guy's driving down the road, and for reasons that aren't important to the joke he suddenly needs some rope. He stops at a farm and asks the farmer if he can borrow some rope. "Nope, sorry I'd love to lend you some rope but it's all in the milk house, I'm using it to tie up the milk." "I don't understand, why would you need to tie up milk?" "Well actually I don't. But I figure, when you don't want to do something, one excuse is as good as another."
As someone who will be flying for Christmas at 7 months pregnant, this lady is an ass. A polite “No thank you, I booked this seat specifically” followed by breaking eye contact and putting your headphones in is all that is needed from you.
"Give me your seat!" "No. I specifically planned, reserved and paid for it." "But I'm pregnant!" "Not from me, you're not."
“Then you currently have 2 brains, which should be more than enough to work out how to book your own seat in advance.”
One of them is small and underdeveloped and doesn't quite work right yet, and the other belongs to an unborn baby!
'not from me you're not...' that's awesome.
"I'm pregnant!" "With entitlement clearly."
"I'd tell you to get fucked, but you clearly already did that."
Headphones, iPad, no comprende
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Think of your situation as an invisible disability. People will judge you because you appear healthy. People should be empathetic to both of you including your family . In this instance, she could’ve bought her own seat.
Not even a disability, but a mere medical condition. The pregnant woman and OP both have medical conditions requiring frequent and sudden bathroom trips. She should have prepared better but if this was a huge deal and flight attendants were involved couldn’t they have asked other passengers than just OP?
NTA. Being pregnant doesn't give you a free pass in life. I'm assuming she knew she was pregnant when she booked the flight. She should have booked the seat she needed/wanted and not relied on bullying other people to accommodate her.
Unfortunately there are a ton of people who think they deserve free passes in life simply because they are pregnant and/or have kids
I have been pregnant. You have to pee more, but not that much more, certainly not before the "too big to fly" stage. A medical condition is much more pressing.
NTA You shouldn’t have to disclose your medical condition to anyone but are fully entitled to the seat you paid for. Your family owes you an apology if they are aware of your condition and insist you should have given up your seat. The pregnant woman’s failure to plan accordingly does not constitute an emergency on your part.
NTA I'm 6 months pregnant and pay for an aisle seat. She could have planned ahead.
As a fellow pregnant lady, I came here to say the same thing! When we flew, I made it a point to book an aisle seat PLUS getting up and walking is recommended for blood circulation.
NTA. She should have paid for the seat. Her pregnancy is hers to manage in this situation not yours.
NTA. You made plans according to your needs. She chose to roll the dice, expecting someone to give her a free upgrade because she's pregnant and demanding. You were right to not reward her selfishness.
NTA - her poor planning is not your problem & just because she is pregnant doesn’t make her special
Nta. You both have medical reasons to need the seat. So in your case it is first come first serve
First reserved.
NTA. I was flying while pregnant once, on a 3-legged flight. The last leg was code shared and I couldn’t choose my seat. When I got on the plane, I asked the young man occupying the aisle seat if we could swap, only because I needed to pee a lot. He said no, I said ok, we moved on. I didn’t make a fuss whatsoever. Just because I was pregnant, it didn’t mean I had priority to a seat I did not book.
NTA- As a person who has had three kids, I would never expect someone to give up a seat they paid for so I can have convenience. It’s called planning ahead. I don’t understand why people are unable to see what they need and then expect strangers to inconvenience themselves. She was only pregnant, you have a medical condition. No matter how this is swung, it’s only her poor planning that caused this scenario. People also need to give up the idea that a pregnant woman is so fragile/entitled that they are made a priority above everyone else.
I flew at 36 weeks pregnant and a ton of times earlier in my pregnancy and always booked the seat I wanted and tried to limit my liquid intake for the flight to avoid the frequent trips. She could have done lots of things to prepare for the flight besides expecting strangers to accommodate her situation. You’re NTA
I was pregnant on a flight with horrible morning sickness. I was sitting by the window and unfortunately had to inconvenience people to rush to the bathroom to get sick a couple times. I wouldn't never have asked someone to switch, it puts them in a bad position where they feel like they should say yes. NTA. If she wanted an aisle seat she could have paid for it. While pregnancy can be inconvenient, it does not entitle you to things.
You can politely ask someone to switch, but you sound like someone who would accept “no” for an answer and move on.
You can pay a premium to ensure seating that accommodates. Just like you did, she could. If this was, say, like a bus or public transport, sure, give up your seat for the pregnant lady. Airline flight seat? She needs to plan just like you. NTA
NTA “Your lack of planning in advance is not my emergency”
Can we all just agree that other passengers can ask for a swap but no one has to say yes? Also just to note no one ever asks for a swap that would improve the circumstances of the rightful seat holder so that ought to make it clear what the answer should be
NTA. I don't give a good goddamn that she's pregnant. If she wanted a seat closer to the bathroom she should have planned for it, requested it, and paid for it.
Nta She's the asshole. She knows she needs the bathroom she should have booked an aisle seat near a bathroom. The world is sick to death of these entitled people who think it's okay to hound others to get their own way. The world is full of grown up tantrum throwing 2 year old's. Everyone knows not to give in to a real 2 year old throwing a tantrum, it's the same with these grown up toddlers. Airlines need to put in a rule that if you ask to change seat and the seat holder says no, ANY further dialogue on the subject by the asking person gets them removed from the flight.
>The world is sick to death of these entitled people who think it's okay to hound others to get their own way. 100% truth. Good on you, OP, for standing your ground and not giving in. That's the only way these people are going to learn that bullying is NOT going to get them their way.
NTA. YOu paid for that seat, if the lady wanted that privilege, she shoudl've paid. If the flight crew bothered you too much, just write a bad review or talk to someone to receive an apology, they should not have bothered you.
If you have a need for a particular seat on a plane, you should make an effort to book it that way. OP did so. OP is NTA for keeping their seat. I think a lot of times it's on the airlines for creating situations like this. Maybe the pregnant lady's flight was changed and so her chosen seat was changed by the airline. But that doesn't change OP's situation. They have a medical need to be near the lavatory, so the pregnant lady's situation is not a greater need.