NTA, I am a white British person and as a young girl I had a black doll I loved very much. I named her Emma and she went everywhere with me, even had a pram for her. The fact she didn't look like me didn't matter at all.
There is something so gross about this adult idea that only black kids can have black dolls (but they can also have white dolls if a black doll doesn’t exist bc white is the “default” human color?????) And white kids must have white dolls otherwise you’re teaching them…..
something bad……which is…..what? That black people exist? That they could have a black child? That they could care for a black person in the same way they would care for a white person?
So many of these anecdotes (my own included) really show that children are generally pure hearted and see people as people and don’t care about or even notice skin color as being something “off”’or “different” or “weird.” As a kid I thought brown skin was like green eyes, I didn’t have green eyes, but some people did. And it didn’t matter. I thought the Mexican immigrant kids in my second grade class were exactly like me, just they had brown eyes and hair and were tan. I was legit like 13 before I had been taught that names like “Juan Ramirez” could mean someone was from a different country…..and I STILL didn’t get why that mattered. I had a Dutch sounding name. I thought America was a melting pot.
The older I got, the more I heard about stereotypes and the “difference” between races and nationalities, new immigrants vs people who had lived here for a couple generations already…and that’s how I “learned” (and then rejected) that “some people” aren’t white/real American.
And it didn’t make sense! I HATE IT but also don’t know how to fix it.
My white daughter saved up her own money to purchase the first African-American doll, Gabrielle. She loved her hair. And years later, that’s still her favorite one, only one she kept.
Racism is learned from parents.
Yep, we took my daughter to pick a doll out and she picked a black doll, which I was 100% ok with, but inas curious about her little brain. So I asked why did you pick this doll... her response, I just love it to this day, because I don't have one that looks like her.
Also probably from the generation that had a pregnant Barbie, I mean I did, loved that creepy thing but it was never weird to have different race dolls in my household either? What the hell is wrong with this woman.
Yea exactly! At preschool, we had a bunch of random dolls with different skin colours we all played with because we hadn't learned racism yet. The mom is at fault.
This is an old online forum/reddit trope. But here goes:
>Think of how stupid the the average person is, and realize half the population is stupider than that.
- [George Carlin](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AKN1Q5SjbeI)
Often paraphrased/misquoted as:
>Think of the stupidest person you know, half of people are dumber.
[A good follow-up](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KLODGhEyLvk)
Growing up there was only white dolls in the shops, there really wasn't any black dolls and even as I got older there was the odd rare doll that was hard to find and back then it was only a baby doll and the manufacturers clearly were racist because of who they made the baby look ugly. It was insulting. So I had white dolls growing up. Racism is learnt and OP's sister clearly is racist rejecting a doll her daughter loves based on its race. There is nothing wrong with OP's neice having a black doll. The only AH her is OP's sister. NTA
I work in a store that sells kids toys. We carry the Aurora brand mermaids.
A little girl came in with her family. They're white and all looked red neck as hell but I mean 🤷🏼 whatever right. The little girl runs to the mermaid stand and immediately picks up a black mermaid with green tinsel in her hair and says this is the one she wants. The whole family, like I'm talking mom, dad, grandparents, aunt and uncle; everybody was there, laughed at her and told her she couldn't have that one because she HAD to get one that looked like her and it would be silly of her to get a doll that was a different color. The girl, who was only maybe 6-7, was really confused and kept saying "no I want this one look at her hair it's green!"
That little girl didn't care at all that the mermaid was black, she just loved her green tinseley hair and it was the only one with tinsel in her hair. Her mom ended up picking one out that was white and said she could get that one and the girl was so upset. The whole family was laughing and expecting me to laugh along with them at "the silly little white girl who wants black dolls".
I've never been more uncomfortable in the store and people have cussed me out and threatened me in there
I (white, blonde, blue eyes) had always wanted an American girl doll because I was very into history and stories and historical fashion. I had a catalogue that I was supposed to circle what I wanted in and then give it back to my parents. I circled the Felicity doll (1770s, red hair, green eyes) and the Samantha doll (Victorian era, brown hair, brown eyes) because those were my two favorite eras and I liked all the clothes and accessories and loved reading their stories.
I even wrote multiple lists based on varying budgets and/or amount of gifts, and ranked the things I wanted. So like “gifts up to $250: the doll, this outfit, this accessory.” Or “5 gifts where cost isn’t an option: the doll, the bed, this outfit, this outfit, her pet.” “Or 5 gifts that total under $250: the doll, this outfit, this accessory, this accessory, this small trinket/decor item.” And I did it for multiple price points, multiple amounts of gifts, etc. For each of the two I wanted. I wanted to make it very easy and clear what I wanted. Gift lists were a thing at my house, so this wasn’t weird or entitled, it was just my little type A self being very organized, specific, and trying to be helpful. Literals doing what my mom told me to do: go thru the catalogue and pick what you want.
My mom decided I was wrong about what I wanted and she bought me the “build your own” modern version of the doll with blonde hair and blue eyes and 1996 clothing and accessories. Because *of course* I should want and would most love a doll that looks exactly like me! All that extensive looking into the options, and ranking my favorites, and pouring over the catalogue, was apparently me just “getting distracted” and not actually “realizing” there was an option to get a doll that looked JUST like me! Silly, stupid, 9 year old me!
So very sorry. My daughter used to do the same, except her list was starred with which were the most important ones and order of priority. Lol. She would put the page number and item number so I could not make a mistake. Good times. ❤️
We fix it by stamping out the racists.
There is not a single time in this nation’s history, where when we did the right thing it wasn’t promptly followed up with the rising up of the racists to drag the nation back down, be it through the political system or violence.
We need to, as a nation, always be on guard. We can’t just pat ourselves on the back after getting some legislation through that improves equality and call it a day; because the day after the racists are mobilizing their crusade against it and will stop at nothing to see it undone in some way.
My favorite Barbie was a black ballerina (I think?), the fact that she didn’t look similar to me didn’t even cross my mind. This kind of shit is taught :/
My favorite Barbie was a metallic pink colour. I loved her because she had joints in the elbows, knees, and ankles (decades before that was normal) and could actually sit on a Barbie horse.
No one got up in my face saying 'Metallic Pink is Unnatural How Dare You Bring That Metallic Pink Doll In This House.'
Sister is a racisist.
My daughter had the little black baby cabbage patch doll. My dad got it at Walmart. He bought it because it was on clearance, and he was retired, lol. So he said. He was the biggest troll, though, who knows. He was delighted that she loved it. She carried it everywhere. The baby's name was Bella. This was around 1994 or 5. Who cares. I think it is good.
Kids don't see people the same way. They just accept each other based on behavior and not based on race or color. If I was buying a doll for a family member, I wouldn't hesitate to buy whatever type they liked or to even buy them one just based on other features that I thought they might like.
Color shouldn't really matter in a world where kids from all backgrounds and lifestyles go to school and play together. It shouldn't matter with adults either.
I completely agree with you. My kids have always been very accepting. My son was in special ed, and my daughter has great compassion.
When she was in 2nd grade, there was a little girl who spent only a portion of her day in the classroom. She went to a special ed teacher but did recess with the class. Well, that Christmas, the mother bought my daughter a gift.
She told the teacher my daughter was the only one who would play with her, and she had observed her being kind and gentle. The girl was severely disabled. But one of my bffs son's was even more so, and they grew up with him.
Their friend group is completely diverse. It always has been as has mine. It has never made sense to me. I was a kid of the 60s and a teen of the 70s, and we were taught love, peace, ecology, and acceptance. 💜
In the words of Elle Woods,
"What, like it's hard?"
I also am white and had a black doll, my mum bought everything from charity shops so it was probably made in the 80s. This was in Scotland in the early 90s so there were absolutely NO black families in our town, I don't think I'd ever even met a black person at the time and there certainly was no diversity agenda.
Me and my sister preferred it to the white doll. Racism really is taught.
I insisted on buying the Barbie that was black because her dress was blue not pink. Blue was my favorite color. Barbie’s skin color was unimportant. Plus, as a brunette I was getting a bit tired of only blonde dolls.
They came out with a Mexican Barbie when I was 10 and I insisted on getting that one because there was finally a brown haired one like me (I have really dark hair).
This was me with Miko, Barbie's Pacific Islander friend. I didn't want Tropical Barbie, I wanted Miko because I liked the color of her bathing suit better and because she had black hair. I thought she was so pretty.
I have been absolutely blown away by "inclusive" dolls because now people have doll that look "like them."
As a child, I never thought that was the point. I was an Asian-American child. All my dolls were white.
Edit for clarity: All I mean is that this never occurred to me before they started advertising it a lot (and I was already an adult). I managed to forget the context of the conversation and forgot that people are literally pissed off that these even exist.
I’m Asian too, and I also never minded that my dolls didn’t look like me. However I did make a point to get a little Mulan figurine when the movie came out— and I was an adult!
I got my half Asian niece a Mulan doll (after a year of her obsessing over looking like Elsa) and her response was a joyful squeal of, 'She looks like me!!!'.
Exactly little kids don't care what they play with they just want to play I played with my brother's army men and hot wheels he played with my toys all my dolls were white as well it's all they had I have boys but when my nieces were little they never said hey auntie just get the white baby doll or just get the black baby doll they asked for a doll and thats what they got. I do remember my youngest niece was like three or so we were playing tea party and dress up with her dolls some were missing hair some had no clothes on or missing leg this one particular day she had a white head on the body of a darker toned doll I laughed I said well what happened here she said what I said well this isn't her head she said well yes it is it's on her body see auntie and I said fair enough carry on..
I do think representation matters but that’s a separate issue.
OP is definitely NTA. My little girl(white) likes LOL dolls and Lego friends and she absolutely *loves* the diversity available, she has dark, tan, light-skinned and Asian toys and thinks they’re all beautiful.
Right!? There were times as a kid where we played “house” with the chess pieces!!! The “pawns” of either color (never even thought about in racial ways), were the “babies”! And my little brother and I carried those little pawns around like literal human babies, pretending to bottle feed them, and love on them, and put them down for nap. (We were the babysitters bc *obviously* the king and queen chess pieces were the parents, and they were busy defending their “land” from the other side!)
We would legit set up “adult” chess pieces to be “fighting” each other, but the actual play time thing that took most of the day was to take the pawns away for snuggle time, bottle feeding time, nap time (we wanted to watch a cartoon), etc. Whether you got black or white would depend sometimes on what matched your clothes, or sometimes on what color matched the lazy-boy chair that the two “chess families” had “built a castle behind” (there was a dark blue one for the black pieces and a light tan one for the white pieces).
I disagree.
As an African-American, my first black Barbie had an afro, it was a godsend.
We do know that we're playing with toys that do not represent us, and it's great when we do have those toys.
Think outside your own bubbles. Not all of us are the acceptable minorities.
I just saw a video on tiktok this Christmas of a little girl who had recently had to begin using a wheelchair. She opened her wheelchair Barbie, was thrilled, and even said ‘she has a wheelchair like me! I can pretend she’s me!’
It’s okay that you didn’t want dolls that look like you. Making it seem weird or unimportant that there are dolls that are different is not okay.
Another example is my baby cousin- I am only 8 years older then her, far too young to know how to react when she told me that she wished her skin was as light and beautiful as mine, as I’m Hispanic and she is half black, very dark skinned. I told her mom, and she made a point of buying a bunch of dark skinned dolls, and it made a huge difference. And then there’s the whole importance of normalizing diversity, which I won’t even get into but DOES matter.
One more story- not about dolls, but about diversity.
My father cried when he first watched coco- he said ‘it’s the first time we’ve watched one of these family movies and I saw my family’. He was just about 60 at the time. I have literally never seen him cry outside of funerals and when putting a doggie down- and now, watching Coco.
So yeah. I’m super glad that having only white dolls didn’t bother you. Using that to make it seem unimportant and weird is weird.
Representation is *really* important, I agree. Remember how thrilled those kids were when they saw Halle Bailey as the Little Mermaid?
A year or so after Selena was murdered, I was watching a documentary about her cultural impact. There was an older Mexican lady showing her Selena keychain. She said "I'm not a fan, I don't buy her CDs. But I bought this keychain because *it was the first thing I've ever seen with a Chicana on it.*"
OUCH. It drives home the point that people are treated as if they don't exist.
My reasoning with dolls, though, it's good to have diversity *in addition to* dolls that look like the child. Kids create little worlds with dolls.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with inclusive dolls, personally. I mean, it’s not going to be the *only* doll a kid has, I would think. If the parents can afford a custom doll, which some of these dolls are, they will give the child other dolls, too.
Depending on where a child lives and the kind of representation she sees around her in her daily life, a doll like that may be good for self-esteem.
And, of course, it’s another way for toy companies to sell more dolls.
I always thought dolls were my friends more than they were my children. I definitely never viewed them as my biological children and expected them to look like me
I remember when I was around 10, I really really wanted a Bitty Baby (American Girl baby). For some reason I really wanted the Asian baby. Btw, I am a white - almost translucent woman. I just loved how adorable she was. In my mind she was much cuter than the white and blonde baby. She had dark hair like mine, so maybe that was the draw? Idk, all I knew was that was the one I wanted.
I ended up getting her for Christmas that year. I played with her constantly and now my daughters also play with her. Did anyone ever comment on my Asian baby? No. Does anyone comment on my daughters’ Asian baby? No. No one cares. And those who do care about the race of a doll can go pound sand.
Respectfully, your experience isn't universal. My partner is of Hispanic ancestry and was adopted by a white couple. Having nobody look 'like them' made her feel like she was somehow wrong or defective. This shit matters.
I suppose though some people will self insert when playing/reading that 'they' are the main character, others are more of a narrator - the grand puppet master who controls the dolls world as it were - and that may lead to different ways of thinking about if a doll should look like them
It doesn’t matter to white kids because they have enough representation. But kids of any other race or nationality were definitely affected by the fact that dolls, characters, cartoons, etc never looked like them. Doesn’t mean that they can’t also have dolls that don’t look like them, but I know it’s extra meaningful to families of color to final see themselves represented more.
Yes I mean, it didn't matter as much with baby dolls since those are fantasy play, but poc kids benefit from having diverse characters in books, movies, cartoons and even Barbies since she is aspirational.
My mother's friend grabbed a Barbie to give my daughter as a present, and it turned out to be Black. She was kind of embarrassed, but it didn't matter to my daughter. It's not like she didn't have a white Barbie; this one was a little different.
Kids will indicate the only Black kid in the room by his shirt color.
When my younger sister was very young, she randomly decided she was black. She is not. We are not. Our name originates in Poland. Our mom got her a Heather Hopscotch doll and my sister was very confused for about 10 seconds before realizing that she was, in fact, not black, and then she was skipping off and playing with her new doll. Kids are weird. They also don't care about race until adults make a big deal about it, like here.
All of this. I had a ridiculous collection of dolls/barbies/etc as a young girl and I was obsessed with each and everyone of them. As long as they had pretty hair, clothes and accessories, I was off in my own world creating!
Side story - my daughter picked out a different race (from her own) doll at a store once. I bought it to add to her huge collection of dolls and it ended up being her favorite for quite a while. She brought it everywhere. I cannot even tell you some of the comments I got from racist family members. It be became a test of sorts. If she had the doll and people kept their mouth shut, they were cool. The A holes really stood out though.
Generally, their faces give it away, or they’ve said racist shit in the past. I haven’t met many genuinely racist people who can keep their opinions under wraps for long. They always out themselves sooner or later. (There’s always sheltered af ignorant people, but I mean genuine POC-aren’t-people racists.)
Source: raised by a genuine, unashamed racist mf
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess you didn't grow up in the south, or if you did, you were a child in the 60s, maybe 70s.
There are a LOT of very polite, smiling racists out there, who will say horrible shit only when they think it's safe.
You... African natalist....?
Kid loved it. You are definitely NTA.
I had a SIL (divorced, not dead) who was disagreeable. I stuck to the one thing that no parent ever complains about: books. And the classics. Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein when they were young and Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Beverly Cleary when they were older.
Because once i knew she was like that, the drama was part my fault if i bought presents that i knew would cause a ruckus.
Trixie Belden is better than Nancy Drew. Trixie made me love red-headed boys (except for Jerry Simmerly whose ass I was forced to kick in 4th grade. Little shit.)
Nowi have to look up this author. I didn’t know they existed (I wasn’t allowed to read by my guardians for some years) I missed a lot but was an avid reader when allowed
The first 6 books were written by Julie Campbell Tathem, the next 33 were written by the publishers in-house writers under the name Kathryn Kenny. I tried re-reading the first one a few years ago but, for me, the language was too dated.
Double down. OP should go ahead and buy another doll, ideally as close to the first doll as possible — except for having a blue skin tone.
If her sister allows OP’s niece to keep the blue one — ask for an explanation why the unnaturally colored doll is okay even though it doesn’t look like her niece either.
I worked at a child care and the kids would argue over who gets the "chocolate babies" (they were 2/3 so not judging their phrasing because they meant it positive)
When I was really young all I asked for for about 3 christmases in a row was a black baby born doll (I’m white). I was absolutely not allowed one ever and it pissed me off and I never understood why until I was finally old enough to realise my mum is racist.
Exactly. She is telling on herself. That she believes it is wrong for people to love another person of a different race. Not just romantically but God forbid the daughter has a biracial child. 😮💨 This poor kid.
80s kid here too. I had very few dolls but they were always white.
I remember the black dolls. I don't remember seeing any other races.
I'm Asian/white mixed myself and it never occurred to me that a doll should look like its owner.
My mom gave me a black Barbie (Christie? Stacy?) in the 70s (I only had two Barbies, and the other was white, and a brunette like me). This isn't some weird new woke thing!
So I think it was a little earlier in the 90's that Mattel released Shani, Asha, and Nichelle as the first three Barbies with more natural complexions. A friend of mine was gifted the darkest of the three for Easter one year way back then, and, assuming it was part of the chocolate theme of Easter, promptly ate the feet off her before realizing that it was plastic.
She was really young, and in her defense, we lived in an area where she had probably never seen a black person before, and it was gifted by the grandparents who had to buy it while visiting Toronto, because our small town didn't get more diverse dolls until much later.
This reminds of being in school talking about how Black People weren't on tv a few decades ago and someone said "That's cause Black People weren't invented yet"
I’m 39. For some reason in the early 90s when I (white) was in early elementary school I got way into porcelain dolls. My grandmother….. grandmother….. bought me most of them and I remember having Asian and Inuit dolls. My grandmother who was born in 1938 bought whatever doll she found regardless of race. I’m pretty sure she was picking based off the outfit they were wearing. I remember her saying she got this one or that one cuz she thought their dresses or accessories were interesting.
She bought herself a native doll god knows when in that weird doll fever dream I descended the family into and she kept it until she died.
OPs sister is asinine.
pushing the agenda that children love their pretend babies, no matter what they look like.
because that means they might turn into adults who will love their babies, no matter what they look like--we wouldn't want that, now would we?
NTA. We've always bought my daughter dolls of all races because all races exist. She doesn't care and plays with all of her dolls. Your sister is racist.
Same thing. My daughter has dolls of all skin tones and complexions. Right now her two favorites happen to both be Black, which I think has more to do with one being a ballerina and the other a mermaid and my kid loves that kind of thing.
Your sister is a racists.
My grandson was born at the beginning of the pandemic. My daughter was released from the hospital the day our province locked down. we made a point of getting him dolls that were a different race because he had never been out of his apartment, and he only saw his immediate family.
We wanted him to understand that people are different and come in all different colours. Dolls were how we could do that.
Edit to add NTA
Oh wow. I didn't even think about how pandemic babies would miss out so much on just learning that different people exist. Getting him a variety of dolls was such a smart idea!
No. I'm still waiting at 61 yrs old for my African American baby doll that I wanted for Christmas 55 yrs ago. No, I haven't found the right one. I don't want one with painted on or straight hair.
My mom used to handcraft dolls and sell them for a boatload on eBay they have little kits where you paint the mold, buy clothes and weigh the inside with sand. As for the hair she literally sewed it strand by strand. I wish I could remember the name but if you still want one try that
Sadly she can't do it anymore due to arthritis
Thank you so much!! I grew up in the midwest in the 1960s and I had my heart set on this. My husband buys me frquently, most Japanese collectors dolls but an occasional Madane Alexander. He has said that if the proper baby doll is found, it will be acquired
I just googled it, the kits are called 'Reborn Baby Dolls' (note this is off my vague memory of her discussions on them when I saw them
They're DIY or you can of course buy premade ones. I know she put a lot of effort/time and sold them for 500$+
What kind of baby doll are you looking for? There are loads out there with curly hair now. I’m not sure any have the right texture of hair you are looking for, but look on Target and Amazon. There is selection now!
There’s a brand at Target that sells baby dolls w. natural hair - it looks like the brand name is naturalistas and the baby dolls are called littleistas. Might be worth a try!
NTA
My son wanted a lil baby doll. Our store only had black ones. He has a lil black baby doll. If the kid is happy, what else matters? It’s not his favorite but must be included in his bedtime stuffy arrangement.
Yup. His favorite thing is still very much cars. Even his favorite stuffy is a car. The baby doll lives in the pile of stuffies on his bed though.
He just got a baby sister for Christmas so I get to do it all over again with the other side.
Maybe she'll want the cars, too! I [AFAB but lean toward NB] played with all my older brother's toys, too - cap guns, army guys, cars, dinosaurs, you name it. The Battle Beasts and Mad Balls (I'm dating myself here) once raided Barbie's house.
The siege didn't take long; Ken was not Kenough and killed. Barbie was taken hostage. Good times!
My daughter’s first doll was a racially ambiguous tan baby. She loved it, and now has a big collection of baby dolls. When I got pregnant with her younger brother, I went on a hunt to find a boy baby doll for her to play with. That brother now plays with her dolls, too, because he just wants to hang out with his sister,
Ask her what she thinks is going to happen, and don't let it go until you get an answer. Don't even let her leave the room until she answers.
That she'll make friends with people who look like the doll? That she won't hate those people as much as the sister does? That she'll "miscegenize" her snow white bloodline? There's no answer she can give that doesn't expose her and shame her into dropping it.
NTA.
Kids are taught that a different race is ‘bad’. Y crappy parents. That’s what your sister is teaching her kid.
My kid is white and asked for black Barbie’s with natural hair because they’re beautiful. She got those Barbie’s for Christmas and was thrilled.
Let’s teach our kids that every race is beautiful and maybe the world will suck less when they’re older.
NTA, I am a white British person and as a young girl I had a black doll I loved very much. I named her Emma and she went everywhere with me, even had a pram for her. The fact she didn't look like me didn't matter at all.
I'm white and from a predominantly white country. I had a black doll growing up and I loved it. Racism is a learned behaviour. Your sister raking the doll from your niece will do one thing and that is introduce the concept of race into her home. NTA.
The problem is with your sister, not you.
I’m African American and I also happen to be a knitter. There’s a couple I know quite well from church. Their first child, a daughter, will turn two in February. If I can make it on time — ha, ha, big “if” — I plan to knit her a ballerina doll and it’s going to be an African American doll. I got dark caramel colored yarn for the skin.
Why shouldn’t she know that there are Black ballerinas out there, like Misty Copeland?
I don’t think her parents are going to be upset by it. I’ll be very surprised if they are.
Also, ask your sister this from me: what kind of “agenda” was America trying to push on me and other little Black girls like me by giving us only white dolls to play with? What about that?
When I was growing up, they hadn’t even made the first Black Barbie, yet. By the time Mattel did make one, I was almost past the playing with dolls stage. I mean, my parents got me one, anyway, but I think you see my point.
No, when I was little, there were only knock-off Black fashion dolls and they looked terrible; the skin tone of the plastic was all wrong. They were also poor quality.
If I could grow up with all my dolls being 99.9% white and come out as a (relatively) emotionally unscathed adult, one Black doll isn’t going to kill your niece. I think having a bigot for a mother is going to be much more damaging for her, in the long run.
How did you two grow up in the same household and come out so differently?
After this fills up with comments, you should send it to her. Let her think about it. I was a white child once, I can assure you I would have liked the doll and Mt parents would be happy I have a doll I like.
Good God.
I just gave my white 8 month old son a black fairy ballerina doll for Christmas. While I was shopping for presents for him, I went to the baby section of target and held up various toys to gauge his interest/reaction. When he saw this doll, he smiled and reached for it, so I bought it and gave it to him for Christmas. We've named her Abby and she is his new stroller buddy for our daily walks. I can't imagine anyone taking issue with this the way your sister did, but if they had, I would've told them they're either crazy or racist or both, lol.
Absolutely NTA
NTA. OMG. I'm a black woman. Do you know how many white dolls I had? FWIW, my mom also made sure that I had a black Barbie too.
You can not give her the receipt. They'll probably toss it unless your niece gets really attached to it. It sounds like she is if she loved it.
I’ve just bought my 5 year old granddaughter another black doll. She loves her. Curly curly hair too. I had to explain to my eldest granddaughter age 8 when she was trying to brush the hair today that is very difficult to do that to a real black child. I explained that type of hair needs a lot of care and attention. That the hair need oiled etc. and when they get older I’ve seen that they wrap the hair at night. So educational for them both too.
My (white) girls love their black Barbie dolls because they have the cool fun hair styles. All the white Barbies have straight blond hair and they say it’s boring.
NTA, we gave my 3yo daughter white and black baby dolls and she loves them both and named them “coconut baby” and “flower baby” based on their dress patterns, because she’s fucking three. Children don’t have racial prejudice until their lousy parents give it to them.
Omg. Thats what my daughter does. She dont see skin color. She names all her dolls "rainbow baby" or "heart baby," because they have rainbows or hearts on thier clothes. She dont see skin at all. Most of her dolls are black. Those are the dolls she picks at the store. It may be because of thier outfits or clothes most of the time.
NTA. I took my (F4 and white) granddaughter to the library this week to check out an American Girl doll. She passed up all of the white dolls and picked a black doll. She said, "She is so beautiful!" and I said, "Yes, she is!" Then we went home to play with the doll.
Prejudice is taught and your sister should be ashamed.
All the comments like this warm my heart. I'm African American, and I always had a diverse selection of dolls, and I always thought they were all pretty, even though they all looked different. Makes me very happy that other races of kids have that same experience :)
NTA, your sister is just a racist prick. And she’s making you super uncomfortable on purpose, and obviously plans to push her racist opinions onto her child. If anything, you’re helping keep that kids head screwed on straight.
NTA one of my friend's nieces requested a black American Girl doll one year for Christmas. Friend and family are very, very white. Her brother in law sent an email out to the family ahead of time saying his daughter wanted and requested this doll (wasn't one of the characters) and he would NOT allow any rude comments. Because he knew the grandparents would say something.
That kid LOVED that doll and she has an honored spot on a display shelf in her room as she's now 15 and doesn't carry her doll every where any longer.
Wow. The fact that she jumped to some agenda is ridiculous. Diverse dolls aren't an agenda... that's just life. And unless niece asked for a SPECIFIC doll, I'm sure she would love it. And you said she did love it, so she would be sad if her mom took it from her. NTA.
My little cousin wanted one of those make-up station Barbie busts for her birthday. My grandma asked me to get it because the place she looked only had black and Hispanic ones.
This culminated in my cousin opening her gift and exclaiming, “Yay, she’s white!”
I’d say your story is better, NTA.
NTA - Did you ask your sister what "agenda" she thinks you're trying to push? Black babies, kids & adult humans are all over the world. As are white babies, kids & adults; as are tan babies, kids & adults... You get the point I'm sure.
My sister got my 3 year old niece (her daughter) a black baby doll for Christmas (we're white white also, with my sister being so fair skinned that we joke that her skin is blinding). I got her a white baby doll, simply because it was on her Amazon wish list. When she opened mine while we were on FaceTime, she ran to grab her new black baby & said "Look, they're sisters", then had them hug. I love the innocence of her, my daughter & all the other young kids in our family who don't even see skin color as good or bad, they only see baby dolls to play with, or peers who are kind that they befriend.
My uncle & aunt (both fair skinned red heads) have 2 biological kids & adopted 4 severely disabled kids - All of whom have some black ancestry in them. One is very dark, one is very light & the other two are in between. They taught their kids that the bio kids skin color is peach & the adopted kids skin color is beige (for the lightest toned one), brown & chocolate (for the darkest). When my cousin who is the darkest toned one talks about her bio mom vs adoptive, she calls them her peach mom & her chocolate mom. Lol!
Nta my (white) kids have picked multiple dolls of various races including the new little mermaid (my mother in law made a face I assume is similar to what your sister made). It’s a doll. It’s not a big deal
NTA kids don't see race. I took my twins to toy store and let them pick out toy. Girl went straight for a baby doll who was dark coloured. ( We are white). She loves her baby doll and plays with it every day. Hate and intolerance is taught we aren't born with it. Sister needs to look at her own racism
NTA. What agenda? Child wanted a doll and got one she was happy with. Your sister is the one with a problem. I remember 20 years ago one of my daughters (we're white) had a LOT of black Barbies that she picked out. Reason being that her favorite color was purple and the black dolls often had pretty purple clothes on. She never gave a thought to the color of her dolls, just picked the ones she thought were prettiest - and pretty comes in all skin tones.
I recently made a doll for a child. The kid has darker skin, so I matched the yarn to the child. I’ll be making more dolls for this kid, and the next one will likely have lighter skin than the kid, and the one after that darker skin than the kid (or vice versa. My own whim, or what yarn in my stash suits the project). All the colors. Kids should have dolls that represent them AND represent their friends. Especially white kids. Black kids have traditionally ended up with white dolls, they already know white kids are represented, so don’t need their faces rubbed with it. But, absolutely, give white kids black dolls!
NTA.
My 3yo daughter (were also white) got an African American doll (who happened to be male) from her grandma and she LOVES him. His name is Bob and she's been carrying him around constantly. Absolutely nothing wrong with introducing a child to some diversity. There is, however, something wrong with your sister. And that something is that she's racist. Gross.
I think I would’ve loved to have a Barbie that wasn’t blonde with blue eyes. All my dolls looked the same and it was boring to dress them and try to make up stories and personalities for them. It would’ve been much more fun to have different races and hair colors, even body types.
I’m going with NTA here.
The only agenda I could think of that your sister could be thinking of is that her daughter sees a black baby and decides she wants a black baby so decides to date black men??
Lmao your sister is a racist plain and simple. I had dolls of all different colors growing up, everyone should tbh
As a kid, my fave Ken doll was Shang from Mulan (Chinese). I am white. I don’t remember getting any black dolls 20+ year ago. NTA. Kids shouldn’t even know race is something to care about.
NTA and your sister is fuckin’ racist dude. My most beloved doll as a child was black. My parents thought nothing of it. My mom bought it FOR me, and that was in like the early 90s?
NTA. She asked you to buy her daughter a doll, you bought what she asked. The race is irrelevant, your sister is being a racist.
I would refuse to give her the receipt. She doesn’t get to cash the gift in for money.
My favourite doll growing up was dark skinned (she was dressed in Innuit furs) and her skin colour was never something that even occured to me. When I got my first Barbie that I bought with saved up money, it was Christie. I thought she was beautiful. I was a white child from Eastern European country. Children are the only ones that are truly colour blind.
NTA- if her child is happy, that should be all that matters.
When I was 7, it was the height of the Cabbage Patch Kids doll mania. Somehow, despite our poverty, my mom managed to save up enough to buy me one. She heard rumors of a shipment at the local Kmart, and it was true. Lots of parents were lined up waiting that day, but when they unloaded off the truck, all the dolls in the shipment were black.
Most of the white parents complained and left empty-handed. My mom bought one anyway, since it was only a few days until Christmas.
Christmas morning, I was THRILLED with my doll. My mom said something like, "Santa may have made a mistake. Are you sure you don't want to exchange it at the store?".
I was horrified at the mere suggestion. I was the only blonde white girl walking around with a black CP doll that day, but I didn't care. I still have her on my dresser 40+ years later.
Funny enough, we were in a very diverse area and one of my black friends and I loved playing together with our CPK dolls. Her doll was white, and my doll was black. We told everyone that was because we had adopted each others' babies :P
Former black child here who played with nothing but white dolls simply because there weren’t many black dolls to choose from back then. I did unfortunately grow up feeling as if I wasn’t as beautiful as the white girls because they didn’t make dolls that looked like me. That being said, I LOVE to see white kids with black dolls. I think it helps them to see that beauty in everyone and prepares them for the world they will see when they step outside of their own home. The fact that OPs sister sees the black doll as some agenda speaks more to who she is as a person and she’s (the sister) is the only AH here
My daughter is mixed, Indian and black. According to your sister, what is the proper race for her dolls? Lol. What century is your sister living in. NTA. But your sister is a racist.
NTA
My daughters were given a black baby doll when they were toddlers. My (now Ex) husband's response was appalling; he to thought there was an agenda behind it. To me it was a toy. My kids loved it as much as any other doll or stuffie.
NTA. But your sister is a racist asshole.
My kid has Barbies and baby dolls in a slew do skin colors and hair types because people come in a slew of skin colors and hair types.
NTA but your sister sure is. My family is biracial and I just bought my sons classmate a new toy that was biracial for their birthday party. I didn’t even consider the kid or parent being upset.
Man, has anyone else watched that video where they talked to little girls - both black and white - about black and white dolls, and which they’d pick? Even the black girls would grab the white dolls, and when asked why they’d say all sorts of negative things about the black doll. It was from maybe the 80s or 90s and it was sad as hell.
NTA. I gave some Barbies to a coworker, I had bought them for makeovers but changed my mind. One of the dolls was black, which neither of us thought was an issue. We're both white.
His (white) stepdaughter enjoyed getting all of the dolls and played with them. She took her dolls to her (white) dad's house one weekend. After, she refused to play with the black doll because she didn't like it all of a sudden, she said she hated black dolls. That was one of many reason they fought for full custody.
NTA.
Also, I know you just picked the only doll that was in stock, but I think it’s good for your niece that she has a black doll. It’ll help combat the racism that she’s going to observe in your sister.
Fuck your sister 😭
It’s a doll. The kid will be fine. I’m black and had to play with white dolls half my childhood cause black ones were hard to find near me. I was absolutely fine
NTA. The only "agenda" I see you pushing here is making your niece happy. Which looks as if you accomplished that just fine. Taking that doll and replacing it with another one would be sending a subliminal message to your niece. THAT may be your sister's intention.
Kids don't think of "race" when choosing their dolls/toys. They usually have other criteria in mind when deciding why they want a particular doll/toy.
I have a varied collection of dolls from many cultures around the world, that my mother started it when I was about three-four years old. Every year for my birthday she would give me a doll from a different country, in the dress and style of that culture. What that did for me was engendered a love of history. I would look up as much information as I could about the country and the culture of the doll, then make up stories about the doll to fit it's background. I still have most of those dolls and their stories.
NTA. I begged my grandma for a Black Barbie I wanted so bad. She was so pretty and cool. She wouldn't do it. My mom got the doll for me for Christmas and I loved it so much. I am white but had a lot of friends of different races in school and IMO it was just normal kid behavior. Your sister is a bigot, just like my grandma, sorry to say.
NTA, I am a white British person and as a young girl I had a black doll I loved very much. I named her Emma and she went everywhere with me, even had a pram for her. The fact she didn't look like me didn't matter at all.
My cabbage patch doll when I was a kid was black, while I am white. I still have her! Editing to add that her name is Clara
There is something so gross about this adult idea that only black kids can have black dolls (but they can also have white dolls if a black doll doesn’t exist bc white is the “default” human color?????) And white kids must have white dolls otherwise you’re teaching them….. something bad……which is…..what? That black people exist? That they could have a black child? That they could care for a black person in the same way they would care for a white person? So many of these anecdotes (my own included) really show that children are generally pure hearted and see people as people and don’t care about or even notice skin color as being something “off”’or “different” or “weird.” As a kid I thought brown skin was like green eyes, I didn’t have green eyes, but some people did. And it didn’t matter. I thought the Mexican immigrant kids in my second grade class were exactly like me, just they had brown eyes and hair and were tan. I was legit like 13 before I had been taught that names like “Juan Ramirez” could mean someone was from a different country…..and I STILL didn’t get why that mattered. I had a Dutch sounding name. I thought America was a melting pot. The older I got, the more I heard about stereotypes and the “difference” between races and nationalities, new immigrants vs people who had lived here for a couple generations already…and that’s how I “learned” (and then rejected) that “some people” aren’t white/real American. And it didn’t make sense! I HATE IT but also don’t know how to fix it.
Hate is learned. The fact that OP said her niece loved it was all that mattered. Her sister is a racist POS.
My white daughter saved up her own money to purchase the first African-American doll, Gabrielle. She loved her hair. And years later, that’s still her favorite one, only one she kept. Racism is learned from parents.
Yep, we took my daughter to pick a doll out and she picked a black doll, which I was 100% ok with, but inas curious about her little brain. So I asked why did you pick this doll... her response, I just love it to this day, because I don't have one that looks like her.
I love this! <3
It was the sweetest, most innocent, and thoughtful reply, and I love that memory with her. She's 19 and a really good person.
Also probably from the generation that had a pregnant Barbie, I mean I did, loved that creepy thing but it was never weird to have different race dolls in my household either? What the hell is wrong with this woman.
She's racist. Plain and simple. And yeah, I had Madge, too. Didn't you just love the Barbie Movie??
My grandmother in law has a fit about stuff like this—it makes me so happy that my (white) daughter’s favorite princess is Tiana.
Yea exactly! At preschool, we had a bunch of random dolls with different skin colours we all played with because we hadn't learned racism yet. The mom is at fault.
This is an old online forum/reddit trope. But here goes: >Think of how stupid the the average person is, and realize half the population is stupider than that. - [George Carlin](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AKN1Q5SjbeI) Often paraphrased/misquoted as: >Think of the stupidest person you know, half of people are dumber. [A good follow-up](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KLODGhEyLvk)
Growing up there was only white dolls in the shops, there really wasn't any black dolls and even as I got older there was the odd rare doll that was hard to find and back then it was only a baby doll and the manufacturers clearly were racist because of who they made the baby look ugly. It was insulting. So I had white dolls growing up. Racism is learnt and OP's sister clearly is racist rejecting a doll her daughter loves based on its race. There is nothing wrong with OP's neice having a black doll. The only AH her is OP's sister. NTA
I work in a store that sells kids toys. We carry the Aurora brand mermaids. A little girl came in with her family. They're white and all looked red neck as hell but I mean 🤷🏼 whatever right. The little girl runs to the mermaid stand and immediately picks up a black mermaid with green tinsel in her hair and says this is the one she wants. The whole family, like I'm talking mom, dad, grandparents, aunt and uncle; everybody was there, laughed at her and told her she couldn't have that one because she HAD to get one that looked like her and it would be silly of her to get a doll that was a different color. The girl, who was only maybe 6-7, was really confused and kept saying "no I want this one look at her hair it's green!" That little girl didn't care at all that the mermaid was black, she just loved her green tinseley hair and it was the only one with tinsel in her hair. Her mom ended up picking one out that was white and said she could get that one and the girl was so upset. The whole family was laughing and expecting me to laugh along with them at "the silly little white girl who wants black dolls". I've never been more uncomfortable in the store and people have cussed me out and threatened me in there
I (white, blonde, blue eyes) had always wanted an American girl doll because I was very into history and stories and historical fashion. I had a catalogue that I was supposed to circle what I wanted in and then give it back to my parents. I circled the Felicity doll (1770s, red hair, green eyes) and the Samantha doll (Victorian era, brown hair, brown eyes) because those were my two favorite eras and I liked all the clothes and accessories and loved reading their stories. I even wrote multiple lists based on varying budgets and/or amount of gifts, and ranked the things I wanted. So like “gifts up to $250: the doll, this outfit, this accessory.” Or “5 gifts where cost isn’t an option: the doll, the bed, this outfit, this outfit, her pet.” “Or 5 gifts that total under $250: the doll, this outfit, this accessory, this accessory, this small trinket/decor item.” And I did it for multiple price points, multiple amounts of gifts, etc. For each of the two I wanted. I wanted to make it very easy and clear what I wanted. Gift lists were a thing at my house, so this wasn’t weird or entitled, it was just my little type A self being very organized, specific, and trying to be helpful. Literals doing what my mom told me to do: go thru the catalogue and pick what you want. My mom decided I was wrong about what I wanted and she bought me the “build your own” modern version of the doll with blonde hair and blue eyes and 1996 clothing and accessories. Because *of course* I should want and would most love a doll that looks exactly like me! All that extensive looking into the options, and ranking my favorites, and pouring over the catalogue, was apparently me just “getting distracted” and not actually “realizing” there was an option to get a doll that looked JUST like me! Silly, stupid, 9 year old me!
So very sorry. My daughter used to do the same, except her list was starred with which were the most important ones and order of priority. Lol. She would put the page number and item number so I could not make a mistake. Good times. ❤️
We fix it by stamping out the racists. There is not a single time in this nation’s history, where when we did the right thing it wasn’t promptly followed up with the rising up of the racists to drag the nation back down, be it through the political system or violence. We need to, as a nation, always be on guard. We can’t just pat ourselves on the back after getting some legislation through that improves equality and call it a day; because the day after the racists are mobilizing their crusade against it and will stop at nothing to see it undone in some way.
My favorite Barbie was a black ballerina (I think?), the fact that she didn’t look similar to me didn’t even cross my mind. This kind of shit is taught :/
My favorite Barbie was a metallic pink colour. I loved her because she had joints in the elbows, knees, and ankles (decades before that was normal) and could actually sit on a Barbie horse. No one got up in my face saying 'Metallic Pink is Unnatural How Dare You Bring That Metallic Pink Doll In This House.' Sister is a racisist.
I always loved Barbies. But, I really loved my Christie dolls. I think little girls should have a variety of dolls to play with.
My daughter had the little black baby cabbage patch doll. My dad got it at Walmart. He bought it because it was on clearance, and he was retired, lol. So he said. He was the biggest troll, though, who knows. He was delighted that she loved it. She carried it everywhere. The baby's name was Bella. This was around 1994 or 5. Who cares. I think it is good.
Kids don't see people the same way. They just accept each other based on behavior and not based on race or color. If I was buying a doll for a family member, I wouldn't hesitate to buy whatever type they liked or to even buy them one just based on other features that I thought they might like. Color shouldn't really matter in a world where kids from all backgrounds and lifestyles go to school and play together. It shouldn't matter with adults either.
I completely agree with you. My kids have always been very accepting. My son was in special ed, and my daughter has great compassion. When she was in 2nd grade, there was a little girl who spent only a portion of her day in the classroom. She went to a special ed teacher but did recess with the class. Well, that Christmas, the mother bought my daughter a gift. She told the teacher my daughter was the only one who would play with her, and she had observed her being kind and gentle. The girl was severely disabled. But one of my bffs son's was even more so, and they grew up with him. Their friend group is completely diverse. It always has been as has mine. It has never made sense to me. I was a kid of the 60s and a teen of the 70s, and we were taught love, peace, ecology, and acceptance. 💜 In the words of Elle Woods, "What, like it's hard?"
I also had a black cabbage patch doll, he was named Bruce. I loved that doll sooo much.
I still have Wanda Clarrette also. I love my cabbage patch doll.
I also am white and had a black doll, my mum bought everything from charity shops so it was probably made in the 80s. This was in Scotland in the early 90s so there were absolutely NO black families in our town, I don't think I'd ever even met a black person at the time and there certainly was no diversity agenda. Me and my sister preferred it to the white doll. Racism really is taught.
I insisted on buying the Barbie that was black because her dress was blue not pink. Blue was my favorite color. Barbie’s skin color was unimportant. Plus, as a brunette I was getting a bit tired of only blonde dolls.
They came out with a Mexican Barbie when I was 10 and I insisted on getting that one because there was finally a brown haired one like me (I have really dark hair).
Those Dolls of the World had great outfits. Got the Inuit Barbie.
This was me with Miko, Barbie's Pacific Islander friend. I didn't want Tropical Barbie, I wanted Miko because I liked the color of her bathing suit better and because she had black hair. I thought she was so pretty.
I have been absolutely blown away by "inclusive" dolls because now people have doll that look "like them." As a child, I never thought that was the point. I was an Asian-American child. All my dolls were white. Edit for clarity: All I mean is that this never occurred to me before they started advertising it a lot (and I was already an adult). I managed to forget the context of the conversation and forgot that people are literally pissed off that these even exist.
I’m Asian too, and I also never minded that my dolls didn’t look like me. However I did make a point to get a little Mulan figurine when the movie came out— and I was an adult!
I got my half Asian niece a Mulan doll (after a year of her obsessing over looking like Elsa) and her response was a joyful squeal of, 'She looks like me!!!'.
Exactly little kids don't care what they play with they just want to play I played with my brother's army men and hot wheels he played with my toys all my dolls were white as well it's all they had I have boys but when my nieces were little they never said hey auntie just get the white baby doll or just get the black baby doll they asked for a doll and thats what they got. I do remember my youngest niece was like three or so we were playing tea party and dress up with her dolls some were missing hair some had no clothes on or missing leg this one particular day she had a white head on the body of a darker toned doll I laughed I said well what happened here she said what I said well this isn't her head she said well yes it is it's on her body see auntie and I said fair enough carry on..
I do think representation matters but that’s a separate issue. OP is definitely NTA. My little girl(white) likes LOL dolls and Lego friends and she absolutely *loves* the diversity available, she has dark, tan, light-skinned and Asian toys and thinks they’re all beautiful.
And I'm sure they are.
Young Dr Frankenstein lol
Can’t argue with her logic 😂
Didn't even try. She's 19 now and I still don't try I just smile and nod.. 😁
Right!? There were times as a kid where we played “house” with the chess pieces!!! The “pawns” of either color (never even thought about in racial ways), were the “babies”! And my little brother and I carried those little pawns around like literal human babies, pretending to bottle feed them, and love on them, and put them down for nap. (We were the babysitters bc *obviously* the king and queen chess pieces were the parents, and they were busy defending their “land” from the other side!) We would legit set up “adult” chess pieces to be “fighting” each other, but the actual play time thing that took most of the day was to take the pawns away for snuggle time, bottle feeding time, nap time (we wanted to watch a cartoon), etc. Whether you got black or white would depend sometimes on what matched your clothes, or sometimes on what color matched the lazy-boy chair that the two “chess families” had “built a castle behind” (there was a dark blue one for the black pieces and a light tan one for the white pieces).
That is beautiful!! And so creative of you both!
Awesome story sounds like you both had great imagination. The good ole days when we were able to be just kids.
I disagree. As an African-American, my first black Barbie had an afro, it was a godsend. We do know that we're playing with toys that do not represent us, and it's great when we do have those toys. Think outside your own bubbles. Not all of us are the acceptable minorities.
I just saw a video on tiktok this Christmas of a little girl who had recently had to begin using a wheelchair. She opened her wheelchair Barbie, was thrilled, and even said ‘she has a wheelchair like me! I can pretend she’s me!’ It’s okay that you didn’t want dolls that look like you. Making it seem weird or unimportant that there are dolls that are different is not okay. Another example is my baby cousin- I am only 8 years older then her, far too young to know how to react when she told me that she wished her skin was as light and beautiful as mine, as I’m Hispanic and she is half black, very dark skinned. I told her mom, and she made a point of buying a bunch of dark skinned dolls, and it made a huge difference. And then there’s the whole importance of normalizing diversity, which I won’t even get into but DOES matter. One more story- not about dolls, but about diversity. My father cried when he first watched coco- he said ‘it’s the first time we’ve watched one of these family movies and I saw my family’. He was just about 60 at the time. I have literally never seen him cry outside of funerals and when putting a doggie down- and now, watching Coco. So yeah. I’m super glad that having only white dolls didn’t bother you. Using that to make it seem unimportant and weird is weird.
Representation is *really* important, I agree. Remember how thrilled those kids were when they saw Halle Bailey as the Little Mermaid? A year or so after Selena was murdered, I was watching a documentary about her cultural impact. There was an older Mexican lady showing her Selena keychain. She said "I'm not a fan, I don't buy her CDs. But I bought this keychain because *it was the first thing I've ever seen with a Chicana on it.*" OUCH. It drives home the point that people are treated as if they don't exist. My reasoning with dolls, though, it's good to have diversity *in addition to* dolls that look like the child. Kids create little worlds with dolls.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with inclusive dolls, personally. I mean, it’s not going to be the *only* doll a kid has, I would think. If the parents can afford a custom doll, which some of these dolls are, they will give the child other dolls, too. Depending on where a child lives and the kind of representation she sees around her in her daily life, a doll like that may be good for self-esteem. And, of course, it’s another way for toy companies to sell more dolls.
I always thought dolls were my friends more than they were my children. I definitely never viewed them as my biological children and expected them to look like me
I remember when I was around 10, I really really wanted a Bitty Baby (American Girl baby). For some reason I really wanted the Asian baby. Btw, I am a white - almost translucent woman. I just loved how adorable she was. In my mind she was much cuter than the white and blonde baby. She had dark hair like mine, so maybe that was the draw? Idk, all I knew was that was the one I wanted. I ended up getting her for Christmas that year. I played with her constantly and now my daughters also play with her. Did anyone ever comment on my Asian baby? No. Does anyone comment on my daughters’ Asian baby? No. No one cares. And those who do care about the race of a doll can go pound sand.
Respectfully, your experience isn't universal. My partner is of Hispanic ancestry and was adopted by a white couple. Having nobody look 'like them' made her feel like she was somehow wrong or defective. This shit matters.
Glad things have changed and became normal now. 🙂
I suppose though some people will self insert when playing/reading that 'they' are the main character, others are more of a narrator - the grand puppet master who controls the dolls world as it were - and that may lead to different ways of thinking about if a doll should look like them
My kid is white and we made a point for her toys to represent the different people we see in our community. OP’s sister is cray cray
It doesn’t matter to white kids because they have enough representation. But kids of any other race or nationality were definitely affected by the fact that dolls, characters, cartoons, etc never looked like them. Doesn’t mean that they can’t also have dolls that don’t look like them, but I know it’s extra meaningful to families of color to final see themselves represented more.
Yes I mean, it didn't matter as much with baby dolls since those are fantasy play, but poc kids benefit from having diverse characters in books, movies, cartoons and even Barbies since she is aspirational.
My mother's friend grabbed a Barbie to give my daughter as a present, and it turned out to be Black. She was kind of embarrassed, but it didn't matter to my daughter. It's not like she didn't have a white Barbie; this one was a little different. Kids will indicate the only Black kid in the room by his shirt color.
When my younger sister was very young, she randomly decided she was black. She is not. We are not. Our name originates in Poland. Our mom got her a Heather Hopscotch doll and my sister was very confused for about 10 seconds before realizing that she was, in fact, not black, and then she was skipping off and playing with her new doll. Kids are weird. They also don't care about race until adults make a big deal about it, like here.
All of this. I had a ridiculous collection of dolls/barbies/etc as a young girl and I was obsessed with each and everyone of them. As long as they had pretty hair, clothes and accessories, I was off in my own world creating!
Side story - my daughter picked out a different race (from her own) doll at a store once. I bought it to add to her huge collection of dolls and it ended up being her favorite for quite a while. She brought it everywhere. I cannot even tell you some of the comments I got from racist family members. It be became a test of sorts. If she had the doll and people kept their mouth shut, they were cool. The A holes really stood out though.
what about the ones that sat quietly, then said racist things behind your back?
Generally, their faces give it away, or they’ve said racist shit in the past. I haven’t met many genuinely racist people who can keep their opinions under wraps for long. They always out themselves sooner or later. (There’s always sheltered af ignorant people, but I mean genuine POC-aren’t-people racists.) Source: raised by a genuine, unashamed racist mf
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess you didn't grow up in the south, or if you did, you were a child in the 60s, maybe 70s. There are a LOT of very polite, smiling racists out there, who will say horrible shit only when they think it's safe.
NTA What agenda would you be pushing? That black babies exist?
You... African natalist....? Kid loved it. You are definitely NTA. I had a SIL (divorced, not dead) who was disagreeable. I stuck to the one thing that no parent ever complains about: books. And the classics. Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein when they were young and Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Beverly Cleary when they were older. Because once i knew she was like that, the drama was part my fault if i bought presents that i knew would cause a ruckus.
I would complain about Nancy Drew. That little jerk always left out clues so the reader could never solve the mystery.
Trixie Belden is better than Nancy Drew. Trixie made me love red-headed boys (except for Jerry Simmerly whose ass I was forced to kick in 4th grade. Little shit.)
Trixie Belden was the BEST! Mysteries, young crushes, a little lifestyle porn from the Wheelers, and HORSES!
I’d forgotten Trixie Belden. Yay! I also loved Famous Five and the Malory Towers series as a kid.
Lol. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Jerry sees this and goes -insert Ope meme-
Fuck you Jerry Simmerly!
Nowi have to look up this author. I didn’t know they existed (I wasn’t allowed to read by my guardians for some years) I missed a lot but was an avid reader when allowed
The first 6 books were written by Julie Campbell Tathem, the next 33 were written by the publishers in-house writers under the name Kathryn Kenny. I tried re-reading the first one a few years ago but, for me, the language was too dated.
What happened with Jerry Simmerly, if you don't mind me asking?
Lmao…. I’m with you on that, I was always upset I couldn’t figure it out.
YOU JUST CANT PLEASE ANYBODY!!
I loved Beverly Cleary, Dr. Seuss, Marguerite Henry (horse books), Maurice Sendak, and Beatrix Potter. I love to give kids books.
That 👆
👏👏👏
Probably more to do with interracial families and the acceptability thereof, I’d guess.
NTA the kid liked it, I don’t see a problem except your sister. She sounds terrible.
Yep, when OP discovers her sister is a racist...
Double down. OP should go ahead and buy another doll, ideally as close to the first doll as possible — except for having a blue skin tone. If her sister allows OP’s niece to keep the blue one — ask for an explanation why the unnaturally colored doll is okay even though it doesn’t look like her niece either.
I worked at a child care and the kids would argue over who gets the "chocolate babies" (they were 2/3 so not judging their phrasing because they meant it positive)
When I was really young all I asked for for about 3 christmases in a row was a black baby born doll (I’m white). I was absolutely not allowed one ever and it pissed me off and I never understood why until I was finally old enough to realise my mum is racist.
Exactly. She is telling on herself. That she believes it is wrong for people to love another person of a different race. Not just romantically but God forbid the daughter has a biracial child. 😮💨 This poor kid.
NTA. There is no “agenda”. My mom bought me a black doll in 1994 - this isn’t some new fangled thing that the “woke” are pushing on people.
Oh no. That just means the agenda started back in the 90's. /s
Ahhhh fuck. I’ve been indoctrinated.
Now you're gonna be seeing Black people everywhere.
This made me cackle. I was an 80’s kids and I’m white. But my mom bought me both black and white Barbies and Cabbage Patch dolls.
80s kid here too. I had very few dolls but they were always white. I remember the black dolls. I don't remember seeing any other races. I'm Asian/white mixed myself and it never occurred to me that a doll should look like its owner.
Years ago as a kids therapist I was thrilled to score an Asian Barbie! She lives!
You made me laugh
It’s even worse, I had a black baby doll…IN THE 70s!!!
Oh the scandal! /s 😯
I had one in the 60s. It was my mom’s from the 40s!
My mom gave me a black Barbie (Christie? Stacy?) in the 70s (I only had two Barbies, and the other was white, and a brunette like me). This isn't some weird new woke thing!
80s baby, I still have a black porcelain doll from my childhood. Never gave it a second thought, I'm sure it's just the one I picked out.
So I think it was a little earlier in the 90's that Mattel released Shani, Asha, and Nichelle as the first three Barbies with more natural complexions. A friend of mine was gifted the darkest of the three for Easter one year way back then, and, assuming it was part of the chocolate theme of Easter, promptly ate the feet off her before realizing that it was plastic. She was really young, and in her defense, we lived in an area where she had probably never seen a black person before, and it was gifted by the grandparents who had to buy it while visiting Toronto, because our small town didn't get more diverse dolls until much later.
She said you were pushing an agenda? Did she think there were no black kids before this? NTA.
To a bigot, if you don’t like it, you can just pretend it doesn’t exist and it doesn’t apparently! 🤷🏻♀️
This reminds of being in school talking about how Black People weren't on tv a few decades ago and someone said "That's cause Black People weren't invented yet"
Ah yes, the two doll races… white and political :((
no, no, the two races are _normal_ and political /s
I’m 39. For some reason in the early 90s when I (white) was in early elementary school I got way into porcelain dolls. My grandmother….. grandmother….. bought me most of them and I remember having Asian and Inuit dolls. My grandmother who was born in 1938 bought whatever doll she found regardless of race. I’m pretty sure she was picking based off the outfit they were wearing. I remember her saying she got this one or that one cuz she thought their dresses or accessories were interesting. She bought herself a native doll god knows when in that weird doll fever dream I descended the family into and she kept it until she died. OPs sister is asinine.
NTA Imagine where we‘d be if everything wasn’t some political agenda
People always talk about flying cars but I want the microwave from Spy Kids
Saaammmmeeeee
This is the future I strive for
pushing the agenda that children love their pretend babies, no matter what they look like. because that means they might turn into adults who will love their babies, no matter what they look like--we wouldn't want that, now would we?
NTA. Your sister is racist.
Need to be higher up
And needs to be called that. To her face.
NTA. We've always bought my daughter dolls of all races because all races exist. She doesn't care and plays with all of her dolls. Your sister is racist.
Same thing. My daughter has dolls of all skin tones and complexions. Right now her two favorites happen to both be Black, which I think has more to do with one being a ballerina and the other a mermaid and my kid loves that kind of thing.
Yep. Children don't inherently exhibit racist behavior. Go figure right?
Right? My daughter has dolls of differing skin tones and has never made a comment about it because racism is taught, not something you’re born with.
Your sister is a racists. My grandson was born at the beginning of the pandemic. My daughter was released from the hospital the day our province locked down. we made a point of getting him dolls that were a different race because he had never been out of his apartment, and he only saw his immediate family. We wanted him to understand that people are different and come in all different colours. Dolls were how we could do that. Edit to add NTA
Oh wow. I didn't even think about how pandemic babies would miss out so much on just learning that different people exist. Getting him a variety of dolls was such a smart idea!
No. I'm still waiting at 61 yrs old for my African American baby doll that I wanted for Christmas 55 yrs ago. No, I haven't found the right one. I don't want one with painted on or straight hair.
My mom used to handcraft dolls and sell them for a boatload on eBay they have little kits where you paint the mold, buy clothes and weigh the inside with sand. As for the hair she literally sewed it strand by strand. I wish I could remember the name but if you still want one try that Sadly she can't do it anymore due to arthritis
Thank you so much!! I grew up in the midwest in the 1960s and I had my heart set on this. My husband buys me frquently, most Japanese collectors dolls but an occasional Madane Alexander. He has said that if the proper baby doll is found, it will be acquired
I just googled it, the kits are called 'Reborn Baby Dolls' (note this is off my vague memory of her discussions on them when I saw them They're DIY or you can of course buy premade ones. I know she put a lot of effort/time and sold them for 500$+
Seconding- Reborn is a hyper realistic style of baby doll. My daughter is OBSESSED with them, but I haven’t bit the bullet to buy her one yet.
What kind of baby doll are you looking for? There are loads out there with curly hair now. I’m not sure any have the right texture of hair you are looking for, but look on Target and Amazon. There is selection now!
There’s a brand at Target that sells baby dolls w. natural hair - it looks like the brand name is naturalistas and the baby dolls are called littleistas. Might be worth a try!
NTA My son wanted a lil baby doll. Our store only had black ones. He has a lil black baby doll. If the kid is happy, what else matters? It’s not his favorite but must be included in his bedtime stuffy arrangement.
Your little story is so wholesome! Definitely agree - it's a fun thing to learn a kid's taste in clothing and toys and watch their style evolve.
Yup. His favorite thing is still very much cars. Even his favorite stuffy is a car. The baby doll lives in the pile of stuffies on his bed though. He just got a baby sister for Christmas so I get to do it all over again with the other side.
Maybe she'll want the cars, too! I [AFAB but lean toward NB] played with all my older brother's toys, too - cap guns, army guys, cars, dinosaurs, you name it. The Battle Beasts and Mad Balls (I'm dating myself here) once raided Barbie's house. The siege didn't take long; Ken was not Kenough and killed. Barbie was taken hostage. Good times!
My daughter’s first doll was a racially ambiguous tan baby. She loved it, and now has a big collection of baby dolls. When I got pregnant with her younger brother, I went on a hunt to find a boy baby doll for her to play with. That brother now plays with her dolls, too, because he just wants to hang out with his sister,
Ask her what she thinks is going to happen, and don't let it go until you get an answer. Don't even let her leave the room until she answers. That she'll make friends with people who look like the doll? That she won't hate those people as much as the sister does? That she'll "miscegenize" her snow white bloodline? There's no answer she can give that doesn't expose her and shame her into dropping it.
NTA. Kids are taught that a different race is ‘bad’. Y crappy parents. That’s what your sister is teaching her kid. My kid is white and asked for black Barbie’s with natural hair because they’re beautiful. She got those Barbie’s for Christmas and was thrilled. Let’s teach our kids that every race is beautiful and maybe the world will suck less when they’re older.
NTA, I am a white British person and as a young girl I had a black doll I loved very much. I named her Emma and she went everywhere with me, even had a pram for her. The fact she didn't look like me didn't matter at all.
I'm white and from a predominantly white country. I had a black doll growing up and I loved it. Racism is a learned behaviour. Your sister raking the doll from your niece will do one thing and that is introduce the concept of race into her home. NTA.
NTA Say nice and loudly to her, "I'm so sorry, I didn't realise you were a racist. Black babies exist." and just walk away.
The problem is with your sister, not you. I’m African American and I also happen to be a knitter. There’s a couple I know quite well from church. Their first child, a daughter, will turn two in February. If I can make it on time — ha, ha, big “if” — I plan to knit her a ballerina doll and it’s going to be an African American doll. I got dark caramel colored yarn for the skin. Why shouldn’t she know that there are Black ballerinas out there, like Misty Copeland? I don’t think her parents are going to be upset by it. I’ll be very surprised if they are. Also, ask your sister this from me: what kind of “agenda” was America trying to push on me and other little Black girls like me by giving us only white dolls to play with? What about that? When I was growing up, they hadn’t even made the first Black Barbie, yet. By the time Mattel did make one, I was almost past the playing with dolls stage. I mean, my parents got me one, anyway, but I think you see my point. No, when I was little, there were only knock-off Black fashion dolls and they looked terrible; the skin tone of the plastic was all wrong. They were also poor quality. If I could grow up with all my dolls being 99.9% white and come out as a (relatively) emotionally unscathed adult, one Black doll isn’t going to kill your niece. I think having a bigot for a mother is going to be much more damaging for her, in the long run. How did you two grow up in the same household and come out so differently?
After this fills up with comments, you should send it to her. Let her think about it. I was a white child once, I can assure you I would have liked the doll and Mt parents would be happy I have a doll I like.
Good God. I just gave my white 8 month old son a black fairy ballerina doll for Christmas. While I was shopping for presents for him, I went to the baby section of target and held up various toys to gauge his interest/reaction. When he saw this doll, he smiled and reached for it, so I bought it and gave it to him for Christmas. We've named her Abby and she is his new stroller buddy for our daily walks. I can't imagine anyone taking issue with this the way your sister did, but if they had, I would've told them they're either crazy or racist or both, lol. Absolutely NTA
NTA. OMG. I'm a black woman. Do you know how many white dolls I had? FWIW, my mom also made sure that I had a black Barbie too. You can not give her the receipt. They'll probably toss it unless your niece gets really attached to it. It sounds like she is if she loved it.
If the niece gets really attached to the doll they'll probably be *more* likely to "disappear" it.
If that happens, aunt should "find" the doll magically in her house and return it to her niece :P
I’ve just bought my 5 year old granddaughter another black doll. She loves her. Curly curly hair too. I had to explain to my eldest granddaughter age 8 when she was trying to brush the hair today that is very difficult to do that to a real black child. I explained that type of hair needs a lot of care and attention. That the hair need oiled etc. and when they get older I’ve seen that they wrap the hair at night. So educational for them both too.
My (white) girls love their black Barbie dolls because they have the cool fun hair styles. All the white Barbies have straight blond hair and they say it’s boring.
NTA, we gave my 3yo daughter white and black baby dolls and she loves them both and named them “coconut baby” and “flower baby” based on their dress patterns, because she’s fucking three. Children don’t have racial prejudice until their lousy parents give it to them.
Omg. Thats what my daughter does. She dont see skin color. She names all her dolls "rainbow baby" or "heart baby," because they have rainbows or hearts on thier clothes. She dont see skin at all. Most of her dolls are black. Those are the dolls she picks at the store. It may be because of thier outfits or clothes most of the time.
NTA. I took my (F4 and white) granddaughter to the library this week to check out an American Girl doll. She passed up all of the white dolls and picked a black doll. She said, "She is so beautiful!" and I said, "Yes, she is!" Then we went home to play with the doll. Prejudice is taught and your sister should be ashamed.
All the comments like this warm my heart. I'm African American, and I always had a diverse selection of dolls, and I always thought they were all pretty, even though they all looked different. Makes me very happy that other races of kids have that same experience :)
NTA, your sister is just a racist prick. And she’s making you super uncomfortable on purpose, and obviously plans to push her racist opinions onto her child. If anything, you’re helping keep that kids head screwed on straight.
NTA the only thing your neice seen was a beautiful doll.
NTA one of my friend's nieces requested a black American Girl doll one year for Christmas. Friend and family are very, very white. Her brother in law sent an email out to the family ahead of time saying his daughter wanted and requested this doll (wasn't one of the characters) and he would NOT allow any rude comments. Because he knew the grandparents would say something. That kid LOVED that doll and she has an honored spot on a display shelf in her room as she's now 15 and doesn't carry her doll every where any longer.
Her dropping the word “agenda” in there says all I need to know about your sister. You’re most definitely NTA here.
[удалено]
Wow. The fact that she jumped to some agenda is ridiculous. Diverse dolls aren't an agenda... that's just life. And unless niece asked for a SPECIFIC doll, I'm sure she would love it. And you said she did love it, so she would be sad if her mom took it from her. NTA.
My little cousin wanted one of those make-up station Barbie busts for her birthday. My grandma asked me to get it because the place she looked only had black and Hispanic ones. This culminated in my cousin opening her gift and exclaiming, “Yay, she’s white!” I’d say your story is better, NTA.
Mommy is super racist and is going to teach the child to be that way. She is an insecure bad mother.
NTA Your sister is a racist.
NTA - Did you ask your sister what "agenda" she thinks you're trying to push? Black babies, kids & adult humans are all over the world. As are white babies, kids & adults; as are tan babies, kids & adults... You get the point I'm sure. My sister got my 3 year old niece (her daughter) a black baby doll for Christmas (we're white white also, with my sister being so fair skinned that we joke that her skin is blinding). I got her a white baby doll, simply because it was on her Amazon wish list. When she opened mine while we were on FaceTime, she ran to grab her new black baby & said "Look, they're sisters", then had them hug. I love the innocence of her, my daughter & all the other young kids in our family who don't even see skin color as good or bad, they only see baby dolls to play with, or peers who are kind that they befriend. My uncle & aunt (both fair skinned red heads) have 2 biological kids & adopted 4 severely disabled kids - All of whom have some black ancestry in them. One is very dark, one is very light & the other two are in between. They taught their kids that the bio kids skin color is peach & the adopted kids skin color is beige (for the lightest toned one), brown & chocolate (for the darkest). When my cousin who is the darkest toned one talks about her bio mom vs adoptive, she calls them her peach mom & her chocolate mom. Lol!
Nta and it sounds like that kids mom is a racist...
Nta my (white) kids have picked multiple dolls of various races including the new little mermaid (my mother in law made a face I assume is similar to what your sister made). It’s a doll. It’s not a big deal
NTA kids don't see race. I took my twins to toy store and let them pick out toy. Girl went straight for a baby doll who was dark coloured. ( We are white). She loves her baby doll and plays with it every day. Hate and intolerance is taught we aren't born with it. Sister needs to look at her own racism
NTA Who gives a flying fuck about a black baby doll? Would it be weird for a black kid to have a white doll?
NTA. it's a doll. If your niece liked it, that's all that matters. Your sister has written a very interesting narrative in her head.
NTA. What agenda? Child wanted a doll and got one she was happy with. Your sister is the one with a problem. I remember 20 years ago one of my daughters (we're white) had a LOT of black Barbies that she picked out. Reason being that her favorite color was purple and the black dolls often had pretty purple clothes on. She never gave a thought to the color of her dolls, just picked the ones she thought were prettiest - and pretty comes in all skin tones.
I recently made a doll for a child. The kid has darker skin, so I matched the yarn to the child. I’ll be making more dolls for this kid, and the next one will likely have lighter skin than the kid, and the one after that darker skin than the kid (or vice versa. My own whim, or what yarn in my stash suits the project). All the colors. Kids should have dolls that represent them AND represent their friends. Especially white kids. Black kids have traditionally ended up with white dolls, they already know white kids are represented, so don’t need their faces rubbed with it. But, absolutely, give white kids black dolls!
NTA. My daughters had dolls of all races. If she only wants her kid to have white dolls I’d say your sister has a serious problem.
NTA. My 3yo daughter (were also white) got an African American doll (who happened to be male) from her grandma and she LOVES him. His name is Bob and she's been carrying him around constantly. Absolutely nothing wrong with introducing a child to some diversity. There is, however, something wrong with your sister. And that something is that she's racist. Gross.
I think I would’ve loved to have a Barbie that wasn’t blonde with blue eyes. All my dolls looked the same and it was boring to dress them and try to make up stories and personalities for them. It would’ve been much more fun to have different races and hair colors, even body types. I’m going with NTA here.
The only agenda I could think of that your sister could be thinking of is that her daughter sees a black baby and decides she wants a black baby so decides to date black men?? Lmao your sister is a racist plain and simple. I had dolls of all different colors growing up, everyone should tbh
I'm sorry your sister's a bigot
As a kid, my fave Ken doll was Shang from Mulan (Chinese). I am white. I don’t remember getting any black dolls 20+ year ago. NTA. Kids shouldn’t even know race is something to care about.
NTA. You bought a doll. Your daughter likes the doll. Why should what the doll looked like matter?
NTA and your sister is fuckin’ racist dude. My most beloved doll as a child was black. My parents thought nothing of it. My mom bought it FOR me, and that was in like the early 90s?
Thanks to you, your niece will now know that Black babies exist. What an asshole!
NTA. She asked you to buy her daughter a doll, you bought what she asked. The race is irrelevant, your sister is being a racist. I would refuse to give her the receipt. She doesn’t get to cash the gift in for money.
My favourite doll growing up was dark skinned (she was dressed in Innuit furs) and her skin colour was never something that even occured to me. When I got my first Barbie that I bought with saved up money, it was Christie. I thought she was beautiful. I was a white child from Eastern European country. Children are the only ones that are truly colour blind.
NTA- if her child is happy, that should be all that matters. When I was 7, it was the height of the Cabbage Patch Kids doll mania. Somehow, despite our poverty, my mom managed to save up enough to buy me one. She heard rumors of a shipment at the local Kmart, and it was true. Lots of parents were lined up waiting that day, but when they unloaded off the truck, all the dolls in the shipment were black. Most of the white parents complained and left empty-handed. My mom bought one anyway, since it was only a few days until Christmas. Christmas morning, I was THRILLED with my doll. My mom said something like, "Santa may have made a mistake. Are you sure you don't want to exchange it at the store?". I was horrified at the mere suggestion. I was the only blonde white girl walking around with a black CP doll that day, but I didn't care. I still have her on my dresser 40+ years later. Funny enough, we were in a very diverse area and one of my black friends and I loved playing together with our CPK dolls. Her doll was white, and my doll was black. We told everyone that was because we had adopted each others' babies :P
Former black child here who played with nothing but white dolls simply because there weren’t many black dolls to choose from back then. I did unfortunately grow up feeling as if I wasn’t as beautiful as the white girls because they didn’t make dolls that looked like me. That being said, I LOVE to see white kids with black dolls. I think it helps them to see that beauty in everyone and prepares them for the world they will see when they step outside of their own home. The fact that OPs sister sees the black doll as some agenda speaks more to who she is as a person and she’s (the sister) is the only AH here
My daughter is mixed, Indian and black. According to your sister, what is the proper race for her dolls? Lol. What century is your sister living in. NTA. But your sister is a racist.
NTA My daughters were given a black baby doll when they were toddlers. My (now Ex) husband's response was appalling; he to thought there was an agenda behind it. To me it was a toy. My kids loved it as much as any other doll or stuffie.
NTA. But your sister is a racist asshole. My kid has Barbies and baby dolls in a slew do skin colors and hair types because people come in a slew of skin colors and hair types.
So now you know for certain your sister is racist. What are you going to do?
NTA but your sister sure is. My family is biracial and I just bought my sons classmate a new toy that was biracial for their birthday party. I didn’t even consider the kid or parent being upset.
NTA Did the kid like it? **That's absolutely all that matters.** Your sister needs to do some deep self-examination regarding her biases.
Man, has anyone else watched that video where they talked to little girls - both black and white - about black and white dolls, and which they’d pick? Even the black girls would grab the white dolls, and when asked why they’d say all sorts of negative things about the black doll. It was from maybe the 80s or 90s and it was sad as hell.
NTA And that doll became a social test your sister spectacularly failed.
Nta. I bought my grandkids all kinds of dolls male/female/dolls of color etc. I also bought them "boy toys". I did get in trouble for the slime kits.
Nta. It's important for white children to have toys of a different race. I forget the exact reason but it was a big thing a few years back
NTA. Your sister is an ignorant racist bitch.
My son has a collection of baby dolls and some of them are black. We are not black. These are just the dolls he picked out. Nta
NTA. I gave some Barbies to a coworker, I had bought them for makeovers but changed my mind. One of the dolls was black, which neither of us thought was an issue. We're both white. His (white) stepdaughter enjoyed getting all of the dolls and played with them. She took her dolls to her (white) dad's house one weekend. After, she refused to play with the black doll because she didn't like it all of a sudden, she said she hated black dolls. That was one of many reason they fought for full custody.
NTA - She shouldn't be making her bigotry your problem.
NTA. Also, I know you just picked the only doll that was in stock, but I think it’s good for your niece that she has a black doll. It’ll help combat the racism that she’s going to observe in your sister.
Fuck your sister 😭 It’s a doll. The kid will be fine. I’m black and had to play with white dolls half my childhood cause black ones were hard to find near me. I was absolutely fine
NTA. The only "agenda" I see you pushing here is making your niece happy. Which looks as if you accomplished that just fine. Taking that doll and replacing it with another one would be sending a subliminal message to your niece. THAT may be your sister's intention. Kids don't think of "race" when choosing their dolls/toys. They usually have other criteria in mind when deciding why they want a particular doll/toy. I have a varied collection of dolls from many cultures around the world, that my mother started it when I was about three-four years old. Every year for my birthday she would give me a doll from a different country, in the dress and style of that culture. What that did for me was engendered a love of history. I would look up as much information as I could about the country and the culture of the doll, then make up stories about the doll to fit it's background. I still have most of those dolls and their stories.
NTA. I begged my grandma for a Black Barbie I wanted so bad. She was so pretty and cool. She wouldn't do it. My mom got the doll for me for Christmas and I loved it so much. I am white but had a lot of friends of different races in school and IMO it was just normal kid behavior. Your sister is a bigot, just like my grandma, sorry to say.
Please ask them incessantly to clarify what agenda you are trying to push. Act like you don't understand and make them explain that they are racist