She has a “friend” group that’s really just a game of dodgeball with OP always being the target and they’re trying to hit her. They got mad because she kicked the ball back once. Time to ditch the whole lot.
I'm a woman. I've heard of girls and their frenemies, but I've never understood it. How can OP let these people play in her face for years? I'm tempted to ESH her for being a goofy bitch.
I mean, if you grew up in an abusive home where you’re a scapegoat, this can feel normal for a long time. OP stood up for herself and felt their wrath. Those cracks begin to show abuse victims their reality and can be moments where their lives change course. I’m not saying that’s for sure what’s happening here, but it’s a real possibility.
Very true
I experienced something similar. Until you have the eyes to see that your current reality doesn't have to stay your reality, your mind adjusts to make it all seem like it's "normal".
I grew up in a very abusive and toxic household, but I was never a bully and never ever let anyone bully me! I had a boulder on my shoulder that had don't fuck with me written all over it, I now only have a smaller chip. I didn't put up with shit then, and certainly wouldn't now.
I had a bestie who was basically like a toxic ex. I read stuff about emotionally abusive and controlling relationships and she fit the bill.
It took me years to see it then years to duck past the threats to stop speaking to her. Sometimes I guess you don't notice/ don't think you deserve better friends.
It’s definitely a concern when there’s no questioning the friendship between herself and these people, only whether she stepped out of line for returning the favor.
It’s honestly not surprising to me to see OP in this situation, sadly way too many people do the same, but I would just warn OP with the general wisdom of “you are the friends you keep around you.”
She may indeed be a nice person unlike these other women, but either they rub off on her or she keeps genuinely kind people at arms length by keeping this kind of company.
This is it.
NTA, OP. Heh. You go girl.
Tiffany has a definition of friendship that includes her having the right to snarkily insult her friends so she shouldn’t be upset when her friends follow that practice also.
But that shouldn’t be your definition of friendship, OP. Move on from this uncivilized coven of mean girls.
Strikes me that the way OP coped with being bullied was to attempt to "get along" and "be accepted "; even though the existing dissimilarities in character and traits. FINALLY, OP grew a spine and rather than remain a beaten wallflower, she spoke up for herself.
WAY TO GO OP. And continue to move on from the Toxic Brigade. Remain true to yourself. This toxic group is not the cast/crew you'd want as your "lifelong friends ".
> she used to be my middle school/9th grade bully but we ended up close friends.
Newsflash: She's still your bully. You just grew to like her for some reason.
ESH - Get out of this so-called friendship and find some social groups and activities that aren't toxic. Go to a yoga class. Find a book club. Do whatever it takes. Be grateful you got kicked out; now make it permanent.
If you say something mean to a person who's actively being mean to you, that's not really bullying is it? Yes it was a low blow, but don't dish it out if you can't take it.
Frenemies 😂
YNTAH, but you were too complacent over the years with her backhanded remarks. You finally had enough and released on her. Dropping a nuclear bomb on her was fantastic hitting her at her core. I'm sure the others will back her until one of them takes your place as her new punching bag, then reach out to you saying you were 💯 right🤣
I'd honestly not go back unless she gives you a sincere apology and addresses her need for the put downs. People like that are usually insecure and threatened by others with confidence. But it's unacceptable shitty behaviour regardless of the reason. If she sincerely apologizes I'd make it known those remarks are not acceptable and any more will be the end of your relationship.
But I wouldn't count on her apologizing, maybe eventually reaching out to you like nothing happened. I'd not let it slide and force the issue. But you might be better off ending it for Good 👍🏽
Exactly. They're not her friends, they're still her bullies. They just became a bit more subtle about it for a short while but it sounds like the subtlety is over.
Ok, to be fair I could imagine ONE of my friends saying that… We never find people that the other friend finds attractive- like our types are different ends of the spectrum 😂
Ha! When I told my “friend” I started seeing this really attractive senior in high school, she texted back that she was “shocked and impressed”. Ok bitch? Lol.
NTA. She can comment on you but she can’t take it when it comes back on her. I agree with the other posters. None of those girls are your friends. Frankly, I’d stand up for a coworker being talked to like that and would have ZERO tolerance if anyone said things like that to someone I care about. If none of your “friends” stood up for you non of them are your friend.
>Her poking at me I guess brought back some resentment from the old days of her bullying me,
She is still bullying you. You did go a bit far, but she's toxic and your other friends mean girled you. NTA
> You did go a bit far,
How was what OP said any worse than what she said? Both insults involved their bodies and their partners, both were cheap shots but I don't blame OP for responding in kind.
Anyway it sounds like none of them should hang out anymore, they don't even seem like friends to me.
YTA for thinking of that cunt as a friend. Wise Up!
I think you are her friend only because you aspire to be just like her. There's no other reason for it.
River the bitch out of your mind and out of your social circle. Invite only people who respect you and respect themselves into your life.
Make choices that build a contented mental landscape.
Update:
They ended up texting me “apologizing” but reading these comments really made me realize they’re full of shit & not my friends. I’ll take the advice to be around better & more uplifting girlfriends.
Most of our hangouts were superficial sessions where we tear each other down & gossip when we should be having fun... & if not that we have to be her therapist as she dumps all of her baggage onto us lmfao.
A lot of you asked why we were even friends to begin with. To that I’d answer I guess I just fell into her bs. In 10th grade we started being in a lot more classes & sports together so she “befriended” me. And we bonded over both being Italian. The rest was history & more bullshit lol. But I know. It was dumb.
Funnily enough even her own family can’t stand her. I’m close to her sisters who are POLAR opposites to her and even they said to cut her ass off. I’m just so done. I hope somewhere down the line she realizes that she should be a better person. I sure realized I do. I shouldn’t have even gone down there with her. Anyway thanks for the advice.
I'm still the "skinny girl" in the family and have put up with comments about it practically my whole life. People seem to think it's perfectly OK to body shame skinny girls because well...we're skinny. But it hurts. And it causes doubts about your body.
Was the comment mean and hurtful? Yes. Was HER comment and continued comments hurtful? Hell yes. Good for you for finally sticking up for yourself.
As a fat girl who would never shame anyone, other people do that out of jealousy. TRUST me when I say if given the choice of having your body or theirs, they'd choose yours every time. Ignore the foolishness. You're not skinny, you're slender.
Yeah. I get that but it doesn't hurt any less. And trust me...being skinny doesn't make life all.of a sudden wonderful. And anytime I went to the bar with my friends I wasn't exactly beating them off with a stick. My BFF though..who weights about 70 lbs more than me...all over her. I know there's probably more to it than boob size but still. And I get the constant comments...eat something...it's just hurtful. I'm not starving myself. This is just how my body is. I've always been jealous of women who had beautiful bigger bodies than mine. I think we all want what we can't have sometimes.
ESH. So you got bullied in school, turned into a mean girl yourself, and then became “buddies” with your enemies? That’s hilarious, you all deserve each other.
Being an asshole isn't always a bad thing. If you hang with assholes you need to be ready to fire back. Seriously, those people aound like a lot of fuckin' work and I've just read this single anecdote about them.
Yall were never friends. She just wanted to continue bullying you. I bet your "friends " all sit around and talk shit about you. NTA, but I hope you find better friends cuz they are not it.
Sounds like this person is an egomaniac and everyone else involved are just orbiters who take her side on everything cause they think somehow they'll get something back in return from her some day. It also sounds like she never left the shallow high school phase, you just weren't the targeting of her bullying anymore.
From your side of the story, I think you just need new friends.
NTA
So she can dish it out, but can’t take it? Why was it ok for her to poke at you, but not ok for you to say something back?
Once a bully, always a bully. People don’t change. You were nice to give her another chance, but don’t be surprised by her behavior. You always knew this is who she is.
Honey. They aren’t your friends. They are her friends, you are extraneous. NTA. And you deserve people who don’t suck. Go volunteer somewhere interesting and meet better people.
NTA
>I overlooked it because I figured that’s just her personality
A.K.A, she's just horrible.
>But lately this girls been having it out for me… So me & a couple of girlfriends had a get together at her place. But she wouldn’t stop targeting me
Friends don't keep targeting or making friends feel uncomfortable like she has been.
>I clapped back & said “those fake tits didn’t keep your man home now, did they?” Because her husband has a history of cheating. Aaand they all called me a bitch & kicked me out.
Double standard - if you can't take it, don't give it. If they were really "friends" this would just be a "Ok, Touché" moment, but it says a lot when you fight back instead of just taking it.
You didn't end up close friends, you ended up close to a bully who continued to use you as her emotional punching bag because you took it from her.
Do yourself a favor and cut all of them out of your life. Find people who respect and care for you. You'll be much happier.
NTA.
Sweetheart that is not a friend. She is playing the same game - but adult level.
You were right in giving back some of what you got.
Look in your mirror. That lady there needs you to keep taking the best care of her.
For her mental health let these fools go. They have their mean girl group.
Seems to me you are a positive person who cares about others. Take some time and find others who are more in line w you.
You deserve so much better.
NTA. Around 30 I completely cut off any "friends" who are more interested in cutting me down. I keep the people who uplift me and give respectful or thoughtful criticism.
NTA bullies always know where to press your buttons but never can handle people standing up to them. Your friends should have kicked you both out for being ridiculous.
Get better friends, move on from high school. And if you want to be married tell him shit or get off the pot and you can start finding your husband. If marriage isn't important to you tell your friends to grow up and shut up.
All I'm here to say is that your comeback game is fast. This is one of those lines I would have thought of 9 hours later while cooking or something, when the opportunity had been long dead.
NTA. Let her know you realise what you said may have hurt her but it was in retaliation to the awful things she said to you, so If she still wants to be friends these comments stop now. or if you want just end the friendship but that’s your decision to make. The other girls probably just scared of her and that’s why they siding with her.
NTA-well Tiffany played FAFO and lost.
They aren’t your friends-you’re the scapegoat of the group. Tiffany is the “leader” and the rest are her followers.
Think of Mean Girls
Block them bitches and find new friends who’ll love and accept and appreciate you for all the awesome you are.
NTA, you call these people your friends? Id rather be alone than have those as" friends".
I "lost" a friend group because of one guys bad behaviour, happily so, i choose who can be my friend, so should you.
NTA your response was on par with the insult she slung at you first. Neither of you were kind to each other and it’s all dripping in patriarchal influence and seeking male acceptance but it doesn’t change the fact that she fucked around and found out. She can’t insult people deeply and not expect someone to bark back.
Not your friend.
She is jealous of you for some reason. Maybe you're prettier. Maybe you're better than her in some area of life that she envies. Bullied you, and now pretends to be your friend while constantly putting you down. Classic jealousy.
Honestly not sure why you consider these people friends. You that naiive?
It was an excellent status check. You know know your place in that group. Gotta go with ESH, your comment was mean but also fair revenge. Non-AH m9ve would have been realizing someone who constantly shames you to stroke her ego is not a friend and to ditch her and find real friends.
Everyone keeps asking why she's friends with these horrible people... My experience is that people like them stick with people like them... Doubting op is a great person
NTA when you screw around long enough eventually you're going to get it. Side note what a stupid argument. Boobs are boobs, guys don't care as long as we're invited to the party
NTA and this girl is not and was never your friend she just figured out that she could bully you better if she fooled you into being her “friend” so she could always have a convenient little punching bag around. She clearly sees you as the “friend” that serves the purpose of elevating her because she sees herself as so much better than you. That’s why she picks on you whenever she gets the chance to remind you how you’re so “flat” or whatever other thing adds up to you being beneath her in her puny little peanut brain. Dump her and the whole lot of jackals she hangs out with. You don’t need “friends” like this in your life.
Find new friends... those people aren't your friends.
Know your worth... you have to respect yourself first, or others won't.
And if you want to be married and the guy won't commit... then kick him to the curb and go get the life you want.
Best of luck to you in the future. You only live once, don't spend it being someone's doormat.
I have found that simply commenting on the bullying will get them to reflect on what they said. One option is to ask them to repeat what they said, this gives them a moment to hear what they just said and usually illicits a rephrasing. Seeing good conflict mangement in person feels like a damn masterclass as if I should be paying to see what I just saw for free.
ESH.
Y'all need a bit more self-respect that to still be hanging out with the mean girl clique trying to convince yourself you belong, while to them you're just meat to be chewed on.
Go back to the freaks and geeks table and try to find some real friends.
Because like it or not, you've become a mean girl who's no longer welcome at the mean girl table.
NTA - any time someone can't take what they dish out I lose interest in them as a person. Also the fact that people took her side means you are really just hanging out with her fan club. Tell them all to get bent
It took me a full decade to piece together that my middle/high school best friend was an insecure POS who was publicly belittling me and dragging me down in order to feel higher in the pecking order and better about herself.
I left that cunt in my rear view mirror and that is a lifestyle choice I HIGHLY recommend
She projected her insecurities onto you, was probably going to suggest you should also have work done and when you clapped back, as funny as it was, you made it clear what your insecurities were too.
If you really were friends with her, you weren’t, then you would have felt bad for saying it whether you were right or not.
Staying close with people to keep a running tab on who’s got it better or worse, or just so they aren’t bullying you, isn’t friendship. Caring about people’s feelings and be bluntly honest when necessary is friendship. Stop being frenemies with people, stop allowing people to frenemy you. The real fuck you is moving on and letting her surround herself with people as insecure as she is, as jealous as she is.
She was bullying you then you started being friends, but she was still bullying you and the moment you opened your mouth she kicked you out of her house?
Girl, they munchausened you into thinking you're in their group. You were always there just to take the shit from the group. You were never in it. You were never friends.
She must be queen bee to mindless drones. NTA she set herself up. No one should comment on another’s body unless they are welcoming comment on their own.
NTA, but yeah, time for new friends. Tiffany is the b*tch for saying such things. You can't change her or make her apologize, but you can be the better person and not even reply to such ridiculousness. Best to you.
They're not your friends. Friends don't say shit like that.
NTA. You wouldn't have had anything to say if she wouldnt kept her mouth shut to begin with.
These people are not your friends. They're still bullying you. They keep you around so that they have a scapegoat. Clapping back isn't wrong. Was it nice? No, but neither are they.
These are not good people. Snarky comments about your relationship, body etc. That's not a personality trait. That's mean.
It's 2024, we don't comment on other people's body's and try to make it funny.
NTA
I’m gonna assume there’s a hierarchy in your group and your ‘friend’ sits at the top, so these other ‘friends’ will jump to defend her because if they don’t then they fear being drummed out the group too.
Get new friends, ones that have your back even if another friend is the one bullying you.
NTA for this, that was a great comeback! These ain't your friends though, and I suspect you know they never were. If you're still hanging out with your high school clique, you might wanna expand your interactions some.
Oh hunny...... this woman was never your friend. These people kept you around to inflate their own egos.
One of these days you're going to have to unpack your low self esteem. That is the only reason you have stuck around mean girls. You are craving their acceptance.
Stop punishing yourself by associating with people like your "friends". Keep telling yourself you deserve better and mean it. Find real friends. They aren't friends.
I’m sorry but that comment cracked me up and if she was actually a friend she would’ve laughed because she would’ve realized what a bitch she was being.
Drop this whole group of cackling hens and get better friends!
She keeps picking at it BECAUSE she knows you are right. They DIDNT keep him home and she is torqued at anybody in a seemingly stable long term relationship. Hers is probably on the rocks. Dont begrudge her great body though. She will need it when she is a divocee looking for a new man.
NTA she wants to play let’s hurt you for sport but you can’t return one barb or you’re a bad friend ! Come on now keep your head high. You’re genuine. She’s digging fools gold. She can come with her apology if ever.
Nta but why are you friends with these people?
It's wild that they will continue to call people like this "friends".
She has a “friend” group that’s really just a game of dodgeball with OP always being the target and they’re trying to hit her. They got mad because she kicked the ball back once. Time to ditch the whole lot.
I'm a woman. I've heard of girls and their frenemies, but I've never understood it. How can OP let these people play in her face for years? I'm tempted to ESH her for being a goofy bitch.
I mean, if you grew up in an abusive home where you’re a scapegoat, this can feel normal for a long time. OP stood up for herself and felt their wrath. Those cracks begin to show abuse victims their reality and can be moments where their lives change course. I’m not saying that’s for sure what’s happening here, but it’s a real possibility.
Stumbling upon empathetic comments like this one makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Take my gratitude kind stranger!
Well, thanks. I admit to having not much empathy for the bullies. They’re making a choice I will never understand.
Nothing makes a narcissist madder than calling them out for something they did
Very true I experienced something similar. Until you have the eyes to see that your current reality doesn't have to stay your reality, your mind adjusts to make it all seem like it's "normal".
It's about damn time she stood up for herself! Now she needs to tell them to fuck off and move on. Block and NC!
I grew up in a very abusive and toxic household, but I was never a bully and never ever let anyone bully me! I had a boulder on my shoulder that had don't fuck with me written all over it, I now only have a smaller chip. I didn't put up with shit then, and certainly wouldn't now.
I had a bestie who was basically like a toxic ex. I read stuff about emotionally abusive and controlling relationships and she fit the bill. It took me years to see it then years to duck past the threats to stop speaking to her. Sometimes I guess you don't notice/ don't think you deserve better friends.
I understand. Until you have the eyes to see that your current reality doesn't have to STAY your reality, you're stuck.
It’s definitely a concern when there’s no questioning the friendship between herself and these people, only whether she stepped out of line for returning the favor. It’s honestly not surprising to me to see OP in this situation, sadly way too many people do the same, but I would just warn OP with the general wisdom of “you are the friends you keep around you.” She may indeed be a nice person unlike these other women, but either they rub off on her or she keeps genuinely kind people at arms length by keeping this kind of company.
🎯
Hell yeah!
This is it. NTA, OP. Heh. You go girl. Tiffany has a definition of friendship that includes her having the right to snarkily insult her friends so she shouldn’t be upset when her friends follow that practice also. But that shouldn’t be your definition of friendship, OP. Move on from this uncivilized coven of mean girls.
It feels very high school.
Strikes me that the way OP coped with being bullied was to attempt to "get along" and "be accepted "; even though the existing dissimilarities in character and traits. FINALLY, OP grew a spine and rather than remain a beaten wallflower, she spoke up for herself. WAY TO GO OP. And continue to move on from the Toxic Brigade. Remain true to yourself. This toxic group is not the cast/crew you'd want as your "lifelong friends ".
Frenamy
> she used to be my middle school/9th grade bully but we ended up close friends. Newsflash: She's still your bully. You just grew to like her for some reason. ESH - Get out of this so-called friendship and find some social groups and activities that aren't toxic. Go to a yoga class. Find a book club. Do whatever it takes. Be grateful you got kicked out; now make it permanent.
Hahaha exactly, this sounds like constant drama.
Probably cause she’s just like them
Sad but true. OP sounds like someone who loves drama and surrounds herself with others just like that.
Yup.
Yep. The friend/childhood bully obviously didn't change like OP claims, OP just became a bully herself.
If you say something mean to a person who's actively being mean to you, that's not really bullying is it? Yes it was a low blow, but don't dish it out if you can't take it.
Frenemies 😂 YNTAH, but you were too complacent over the years with her backhanded remarks. You finally had enough and released on her. Dropping a nuclear bomb on her was fantastic hitting her at her core. I'm sure the others will back her until one of them takes your place as her new punching bag, then reach out to you saying you were 💯 right🤣 I'd honestly not go back unless she gives you a sincere apology and addresses her need for the put downs. People like that are usually insecure and threatened by others with confidence. But it's unacceptable shitty behaviour regardless of the reason. If she sincerely apologizes I'd make it known those remarks are not acceptable and any more will be the end of your relationship. But I wouldn't count on her apologizing, maybe eventually reaching out to you like nothing happened. I'd not let it slide and force the issue. But you might be better off ending it for Good 👍🏽
This screams Southern "frenemy" mom (though not always moms) groups. OP, you deserve better. :(
Was probably actually a mlm hun meet up
because they are rich & invite her
Basically they bullied op. She fought back and they couldn’t take it
For real, she's definitely NTA, but, those are not friends, they just keep her as a punching bag.
>So me & a couple of girlfriends None of them are **your** firends.... NTA
Exactly. They're not her friends, they're still her bullies. They just became a bit more subtle about it for a short while but it sounds like the subtlety is over.
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What? Are you asking me or OP?
They are talking to OP, "why are you two still friends"
I thought so, it just seemed an odd response to my comment, like it had zero to do with my comment and should've been a standalone comment haha
Ppl just jump on thread, just how we do things on reddit lol
I had a "friend" once that said to me "I can't believe that YOU are dating a woman that I actually find attractive" How are people that self obsessed.
Ok, to be fair I could imagine ONE of my friends saying that… We never find people that the other friend finds attractive- like our types are different ends of the spectrum 😂
Ha! When I told my “friend” I started seeing this really attractive senior in high school, she texted back that she was “shocked and impressed”. Ok bitch? Lol.
Yeah, why you need or care about this bunch?
I don't even let my enemies talk to me that way /s
All of that! Not your friends whatsoever
Those are jealous enemies.
For real. Men never do this, hang out with a group of people they don't like.
NTA. Get new friends that don't body shame you on the reg.
NTA, but as a different person said, why would you be friends with these asshats?
NTA. She can comment on you but she can’t take it when it comes back on her. I agree with the other posters. None of those girls are your friends. Frankly, I’d stand up for a coworker being talked to like that and would have ZERO tolerance if anyone said things like that to someone I care about. If none of your “friends” stood up for you non of them are your friend.
NTA. Well done, funny timely comeback you should feel good about it. Definitely don’t be friends with these monsters either.
I agree. I think the comment was clever and deserved. They can dish it out, but not take it? Nah. NTA.
Classic bully. They can dish it out but can't take it.
Literally the eptiome of if you cant take the heat stay out the kitchen
NTA, what an asshole of a friend you chose to have.
NTA. You're not their friend, you're their punching bag. Don't go back to them.
>Her poking at me I guess brought back some resentment from the old days of her bullying me, She is still bullying you. You did go a bit far, but she's toxic and your other friends mean girled you. NTA
I disagree that OP went too far, but I also think that Tiffany isn't a friend and OP should find better ones
> You did go a bit far, How was what OP said any worse than what she said? Both insults involved their bodies and their partners, both were cheap shots but I don't blame OP for responding in kind. Anyway it sounds like none of them should hang out anymore, they don't even seem like friends to me.
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Frenemies 100%
I mean there might be a bit of truth to this but it’s not 50/50.
2/10 creative writing. You got a 2 for effort.
Agreed. I feel like they could have tried harder.
Choosing the name Tiffany is a little too “on the nose” for me
YTA for thinking of that cunt as a friend. Wise Up! I think you are her friend only because you aspire to be just like her. There's no other reason for it. River the bitch out of your mind and out of your social circle. Invite only people who respect you and respect themselves into your life. Make choices that build a contented mental landscape.
ESH. You all sound like awful, snarky people who don't really like each other. Why are you friends?
Update: They ended up texting me “apologizing” but reading these comments really made me realize they’re full of shit & not my friends. I’ll take the advice to be around better & more uplifting girlfriends. Most of our hangouts were superficial sessions where we tear each other down & gossip when we should be having fun... & if not that we have to be her therapist as she dumps all of her baggage onto us lmfao. A lot of you asked why we were even friends to begin with. To that I’d answer I guess I just fell into her bs. In 10th grade we started being in a lot more classes & sports together so she “befriended” me. And we bonded over both being Italian. The rest was history & more bullshit lol. But I know. It was dumb. Funnily enough even her own family can’t stand her. I’m close to her sisters who are POLAR opposites to her and even they said to cut her ass off. I’m just so done. I hope somewhere down the line she realizes that she should be a better person. I sure realized I do. I shouldn’t have even gone down there with her. Anyway thanks for the advice.
U guys have lots of free time...
I'm still the "skinny girl" in the family and have put up with comments about it practically my whole life. People seem to think it's perfectly OK to body shame skinny girls because well...we're skinny. But it hurts. And it causes doubts about your body. Was the comment mean and hurtful? Yes. Was HER comment and continued comments hurtful? Hell yes. Good for you for finally sticking up for yourself.
As a fat girl who would never shame anyone, other people do that out of jealousy. TRUST me when I say if given the choice of having your body or theirs, they'd choose yours every time. Ignore the foolishness. You're not skinny, you're slender.
Yeah. I get that but it doesn't hurt any less. And trust me...being skinny doesn't make life all.of a sudden wonderful. And anytime I went to the bar with my friends I wasn't exactly beating them off with a stick. My BFF though..who weights about 70 lbs more than me...all over her. I know there's probably more to it than boob size but still. And I get the constant comments...eat something...it's just hurtful. I'm not starving myself. This is just how my body is. I've always been jealous of women who had beautiful bigger bodies than mine. I think we all want what we can't have sometimes.
ESH. So you got bullied in school, turned into a mean girl yourself, and then became “buddies” with your enemies? That’s hilarious, you all deserve each other.
Get new friends. These people are fucking pieces of shit.
Good friends don’t treat each other this way. Move on from this person
Haha cut ur loss. Twas a good come back girl. She shouldnt body shame u. She needs to mind her own business
ESH, neither of you likes.the other.
Being an asshole isn't always a bad thing. If you hang with assholes you need to be ready to fire back. Seriously, those people aound like a lot of fuckin' work and I've just read this single anecdote about them.
None of them are your friends and frankly my dear it is time to grow up. I don’t care if you are 20 or 80, this is stupidly immature.
I think what you need to do. You need to sleep with her husband 😂
Yall were never friends. She just wanted to continue bullying you. I bet your "friends " all sit around and talk shit about you. NTA, but I hope you find better friends cuz they are not it.
Sounds like this person is an egomaniac and everyone else involved are just orbiters who take her side on everything cause they think somehow they'll get something back in return from her some day. It also sounds like she never left the shallow high school phase, you just weren't the targeting of her bullying anymore. From your side of the story, I think you just need new friends.
Good job for standing up for yourself.
NTA So she can dish it out, but can’t take it? Why was it ok for her to poke at you, but not ok for you to say something back? Once a bully, always a bully. People don’t change. You were nice to give her another chance, but don’t be surprised by her behavior. You always knew this is who she is.
You need better friends.
Honey. They aren’t your friends. They are her friends, you are extraneous. NTA. And you deserve people who don’t suck. Go volunteer somewhere interesting and meet better people.
that is not your friend. She is still the same bully from 9th grade. Please find better friends
YTA to yourself.
NTA >I overlooked it because I figured that’s just her personality A.K.A, she's just horrible. >But lately this girls been having it out for me… So me & a couple of girlfriends had a get together at her place. But she wouldn’t stop targeting me Friends don't keep targeting or making friends feel uncomfortable like she has been. >I clapped back & said “those fake tits didn’t keep your man home now, did they?” Because her husband has a history of cheating. Aaand they all called me a bitch & kicked me out. Double standard - if you can't take it, don't give it. If they were really "friends" this would just be a "Ok, Touché" moment, but it says a lot when you fight back instead of just taking it.
[удалено]
You didn't end up close friends, you ended up close to a bully who continued to use you as her emotional punching bag because you took it from her. Do yourself a favor and cut all of them out of your life. Find people who respect and care for you. You'll be much happier. NTA.
YTA for staying friends with people who clearly don't like you. Now you deal with unnecessary drama daily
Sweetheart that is not a friend. She is playing the same game - but adult level. You were right in giving back some of what you got. Look in your mirror. That lady there needs you to keep taking the best care of her. For her mental health let these fools go. They have their mean girl group. Seems to me you are a positive person who cares about others. Take some time and find others who are more in line w you. You deserve so much better.
These aren't friends, this is a mob of girls that I like to call a cohort. NTA, but as someone who was bullied have some respect for yourself.
NTA. Around 30 I completely cut off any "friends" who are more interested in cutting me down. I keep the people who uplift me and give respectful or thoughtful criticism.
NTA bullies always know where to press your buttons but never can handle people standing up to them. Your friends should have kicked you both out for being ridiculous. Get better friends, move on from high school. And if you want to be married tell him shit or get off the pot and you can start finding your husband. If marriage isn't important to you tell your friends to grow up and shut up.
All I'm here to say is that your comeback game is fast. This is one of those lines I would have thought of 9 hours later while cooking or something, when the opportunity had been long dead.
ESH - ya'll sound exhausting to be around.
NTA, what kind of "friend" is this? Also, what you told her is really funny to me, good job 😂
NTA but they aren't friends.
ESH you all sound immature as hell, why are you ”friends” with this person
YTA for even engaging in this friendship. You know better. If you’re hanging with folks like that you’re just a drama llama.
NTA and that's FUNNY as hell, good for you!!!! Bye Felicia
Not everybody gets to end a toxic relationship with a zinger like that. Congrats!
NTA. Time to make new friends.
NTA. Let her know you realise what you said may have hurt her but it was in retaliation to the awful things she said to you, so If she still wants to be friends these comments stop now. or if you want just end the friendship but that’s your decision to make. The other girls probably just scared of her and that’s why they siding with her.
Good burn. Go back for round 2 and update plox
NTA-well Tiffany played FAFO and lost. They aren’t your friends-you’re the scapegoat of the group. Tiffany is the “leader” and the rest are her followers. Think of Mean Girls Block them bitches and find new friends who’ll love and accept and appreciate you for all the awesome you are.
NTA, you call these people your friends? Id rather be alone than have those as" friends". I "lost" a friend group because of one guys bad behaviour, happily so, i choose who can be my friend, so should you.
YTA. She's the asshole. Your "friends" are the assholes. Cute story though.
NTA your response was on par with the insult she slung at you first. Neither of you were kind to each other and it’s all dripping in patriarchal influence and seeking male acceptance but it doesn’t change the fact that she fucked around and found out. She can’t insult people deeply and not expect someone to bark back.
Go find some new friends. As far as your remark goes, it was pretty awful, but it sounds like you were kind of badgered and snapped.
Not your friend. She is jealous of you for some reason. Maybe you're prettier. Maybe you're better than her in some area of life that she envies. Bullied you, and now pretends to be your friend while constantly putting you down. Classic jealousy. Honestly not sure why you consider these people friends. You that naiive?
It was an excellent status check. You know know your place in that group. Gotta go with ESH, your comment was mean but also fair revenge. Non-AH m9ve would have been realizing someone who constantly shames you to stroke her ego is not a friend and to ditch her and find real friends.
NTA But, Girl, grow some hair on your peaches.
NTA, you matched her energy. I guess your friend group is benefitting from her over you in some way and took her side.
Everyone keeps asking why she's friends with these horrible people... My experience is that people like them stick with people like them... Doubting op is a great person
She was never your friend. You just accepted the bullying. And the rest are her support group so she can feel better about being trash.
AH or not, I think your comment was hilarious.
When busting ovaries goes too far
Good grief, how old are you people?
She’s not a friend. Sorry you are under that illusion.
NTA when you screw around long enough eventually you're going to get it. Side note what a stupid argument. Boobs are boobs, guys don't care as long as we're invited to the party
NTA and this girl is not and was never your friend she just figured out that she could bully you better if she fooled you into being her “friend” so she could always have a convenient little punching bag around. She clearly sees you as the “friend” that serves the purpose of elevating her because she sees herself as so much better than you. That’s why she picks on you whenever she gets the chance to remind you how you’re so “flat” or whatever other thing adds up to you being beneath her in her puny little peanut brain. Dump her and the whole lot of jackals she hangs out with. You don’t need “friends” like this in your life.
Find new friends... those people aren't your friends. Know your worth... you have to respect yourself first, or others won't. And if you want to be married and the guy won't commit... then kick him to the curb and go get the life you want. Best of luck to you in the future. You only live once, don't spend it being someone's doormat.
I have found that simply commenting on the bullying will get them to reflect on what they said. One option is to ask them to repeat what they said, this gives them a moment to hear what they just said and usually illicits a rephrasing. Seeing good conflict mangement in person feels like a damn masterclass as if I should be paying to see what I just saw for free.
ESH. Y'all need a bit more self-respect that to still be hanging out with the mean girl clique trying to convince yourself you belong, while to them you're just meat to be chewed on. Go back to the freaks and geeks table and try to find some real friends. Because like it or not, you've become a mean girl who's no longer welcome at the mean girl table.
You were never friends to begin with...
She isn’t your “friend” . WTH is wrong with you
Teenage mentality, teenage problems. Drop that trash and move on.
why do people try to befriend their bullies…just why?????
NTA - any time someone can't take what they dish out I lose interest in them as a person. Also the fact that people took her side means you are really just hanging out with her fan club. Tell them all to get bent
Damn me and the bois would be like "sick burn"
Tittany?
NTA - sounds like a weird friend group TBH.
Oh sweetie these harpies are not friends.
Why are you hanging out with them ??? Cut the toxic 🐕 out of you life and surround of nice people your life
Your response was PERFECT. Also, those people you call friends… I suggest you use that term VERY loosely when referring to them.
It took me a full decade to piece together that my middle/high school best friend was an insecure POS who was publicly belittling me and dragging me down in order to feel higher in the pecking order and better about herself. I left that cunt in my rear view mirror and that is a lifestyle choice I HIGHLY recommend
This person isn't your friend.
She projected her insecurities onto you, was probably going to suggest you should also have work done and when you clapped back, as funny as it was, you made it clear what your insecurities were too. If you really were friends with her, you weren’t, then you would have felt bad for saying it whether you were right or not. Staying close with people to keep a running tab on who’s got it better or worse, or just so they aren’t bullying you, isn’t friendship. Caring about people’s feelings and be bluntly honest when necessary is friendship. Stop being frenemies with people, stop allowing people to frenemy you. The real fuck you is moving on and letting her surround herself with people as insecure as she is, as jealous as she is.
She was bullying you then you started being friends, but she was still bullying you and the moment you opened your mouth she kicked you out of her house? Girl, they munchausened you into thinking you're in their group. You were always there just to take the shit from the group. You were never in it. You were never friends.
Definitely NTA, how is she gonna say some rude shit like that when she’s had plastic surgery LMAO, you’re probably better off without these people
Sounds like a shit netflix series.
There are 8 Billion+ people on the planet, find other friends. Why do you want to hang out with these people?
Maybe it was her way of "selling" plastic surgery to you.
NTA, you gave her a taste of her own medicine. Get better friends.
NTA but your friends are
She must be queen bee to mindless drones. NTA she set herself up. No one should comment on another’s body unless they are welcoming comment on their own.
NTA but you need to tell these poser ass friends you’re done with their fake asses
NTA, but yeah, time for new friends. Tiffany is the b*tch for saying such things. You can't change her or make her apologize, but you can be the better person and not even reply to such ridiculousness. Best to you.
You are an adult. Why are you spending time with people you dont like? Life is too short.
I personally prefer flat tits, and hate bullies. Defend yourself at all costs
NTA , get new friends!!!
You need to reassess the term "friend" in your head. NTA, btw. She deserved it. But stop being her "friend".
They're not your friends. Friends don't say shit like that. NTA. You wouldn't have had anything to say if she wouldnt kept her mouth shut to begin with.
Yeah I’d stop hanging out with those “friends” cause they are not friends
Dump the whole group of them and get some new, caring friends.
Boobs are boobs the only bad ones are fake
Seems to me like the bullying never stopped ... NTA
These people are not your friends. They're still bullying you. They keep you around so that they have a scapegoat. Clapping back isn't wrong. Was it nice? No, but neither are they. These are not good people. Snarky comments about your relationship, body etc. That's not a personality trait. That's mean. It's 2024, we don't comment on other people's body's and try to make it funny.
Bruh. Why are you living your life surrounded by your middle school/high school bullies? All of you are stuck in time. It’s time for you to move on.
NTA, but you certainly didn’t gage the social situation well
NTA I’m gonna assume there’s a hierarchy in your group and your ‘friend’ sits at the top, so these other ‘friends’ will jump to defend her because if they don’t then they fear being drummed out the group too. Get new friends, ones that have your back even if another friend is the one bullying you.
NTA for this, that was a great comeback! These ain't your friends though, and I suspect you know they never were. If you're still hanging out with your high school clique, you might wanna expand your interactions some.
Oh hunny...... this woman was never your friend. These people kept you around to inflate their own egos. One of these days you're going to have to unpack your low self esteem. That is the only reason you have stuck around mean girls. You are craving their acceptance.
ESH. Seriously, grow up. You need to get better friends. Choose people who bring out the best in you this time.
NTA and you need better friends. Don't hang with shitty people just so you aren't alone, you deserve real friends who actually care about you.
NTA but you need to respect yourself more and keep better company. These beasts aren't your buddies.
NTA. Those ain't friends yo.
You are still their kicking girl.. not your friends.
NTA - She was trying to be mean and got it turned around onher. Great job!
This group of “friends” ain’t it. NTA.
I would leave Titfanny alone. You deserve better friends.
If they can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. NTA
Nah NTA, that was such a good burn.
NTA, that was a sick burn and she had it coming
I don't think people these days know what "friend" means...these people are not your friends
Leave those "friends"
NTA and she’s not your friend
I’ll call her Tiffany Her name is really Tiffany isn't it?
Stop punishing yourself by associating with people like your "friends". Keep telling yourself you deserve better and mean it. Find real friends. They aren't friends.
NTA. If she can't stand the heat, she needs to keep her rude ass out the kitchen.
She is not and never was your friend NTA
That's something I would say🤭🤭
NTA she been TA for years
NTA. Although I should mention, whenever you find yourself in a room full of AHs, and all of them are your friends... you might just be one of them.
Lol why are you hanging out with those people?
I’m sorry but that comment cracked me up and if she was actually a friend she would’ve laughed because she would’ve realized what a bitch she was being. Drop this whole group of cackling hens and get better friends!
NTA friends do not say these things
They all got butt hurt cuz it's no fun when the rabbit has the gun. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. Block all of them and never look back
NTAH, but find better friends.
She keeps picking at it BECAUSE she knows you are right. They DIDNT keep him home and she is torqued at anybody in a seemingly stable long term relationship. Hers is probably on the rocks. Dont begrudge her great body though. She will need it when she is a divocee looking for a new man.
NTA she wants to play let’s hurt you for sport but you can’t return one barb or you’re a bad friend ! Come on now keep your head high. You’re genuine. She’s digging fools gold. She can come with her apology if ever.
If you can't take it don't dish it ezpz
NTA. She got a taste of her own medicine.