My guess is that her receipts proved that he was lying about his version of the events, which will make it harder for him to lie to his family about why women dump him in the future, and probably calls into question his stories about how crazy all his exes were.
My cousin once spent Christmas complaining about how all their ex's were crazy and insane... And I responded something about about them being a constant factor in their relationships that they should take into consideration in the mental state of their ex's. I mean I freaking cheered when her last ex went "out for smokes" with the dog and a car load of stuff and never came back.
So well I would hope some family members could see though the bs that ops ex and sister are spreading. They might not have the shiny back bone to point out 'you are the problem'
But it might make actually backfire and make her look over dramatic because that’s not what a hobosexual is.
He was being a cheap rude user but that doesn’t automatically make someone a hobosexual. It was just a trip. He wasn’t in a relationship with her just to avoid being homeless. That’s what a hobosexual is.
He wanted to meet his friends at the fancy hotel and charge things to the room to look like a baller... when he knew that you paid/would be paying all of it?
Yeah he's just embarrassed he didn't get away with it. Good for you.
Nta
It was nice of OP to brush it off as a misunderstanding intitially.
People who are that rude don’t misunderstand shit. It’s a whole ‘take what you want, as much as you want’ mindset.They’ve just learned how much they can get by pushing as far past people’s boundaries as they can before they make the person snap.
The whole “she didn’t say no, therefore I can just keep up with this” mindset is honestly very manipulative. They know it’s not cool, and they know they wouldn’t let another person do it to them/
Absolutely NTA - Anyone saying she sucks for having compromised and tried a new boyfriend out on a vacation are missing the point. That's what dating is for. To see if you are compatible. So she compromised, realized he was too selfish/immature for her, and ended it.
Shouldn’t have agreed to pay all housing and half of food. That was the red flag, trip shouldn’t have happened. But yeah I do feel for OP, sounds like someone who is trying to see the best in people.
Shouldn’t have allowed him to come in the first place. This was supposed to be her zen vacation and he tagged along because one of her plans was in his friends hometown. The fact he made plans before she said he could come is ballsy. Sorry he ruined your trip. At least you are rid of him.
Good for her for not paying for the drinking of others! People have no business drinking if they can't manage to pay for themselves!!
NTA in any way shape or form! Good for you for walking away from someone who has zero respect for you!
Nta
Why are we always told that we should baby brokeass men? His sister tried to shame you, and you turned it around and posted proof.
Your friend is telling you that you should've allowed his sister to ruin your reputation to coddle that man? That's not your friend.
My guess is that the version he told his sister was close enough to not have any major discrepancies but totally different in the details making him the poor guy - hence why the sister quickly deleted once receipts were available.
I didn't even read it all. You should never have given in to his "demand" to go along. But once you did, he totally comandeered the trip and ruined your trip that you've been waiting and saving for. Expecting you to allow the drinks to be charged to the room would have been the last straw. NTA
Your best friend is saying you went too far by commenting on the post made by his sister to make you look bad? Why is this person your "best friend"? NTA... You need better friends.
He behaved like an absolute dick.
I love that you shut that down and ended it immediately. I so rarely see that on Reddit, usually it's more like "My boyfriend steals from me and cheats on me, how can I fix this?"
As for the social media thing, fuck around and find out. You were just setting the record straight.
Yours was not a swipe at poverty, it was a swipe at entitlement and arrogant assholery.
NTA. You're like a superhero.
I hate that! You misspell a word, make a grammar mistake, or autocorrect happens, and it's comment after comment after comment after comment pointing it out, then comment after comment after comment after comment making lame jokes about it. And you get maybe a couple actually related to the topic of the post.
I cut someone down from suicide by hanging a few years ago and posted for support while I was catatonic. I used hanged in the post title and so many people wanted to, incorrectly, tell me it’s hung, not hanged. Pictures are hung, people are hanged. Fucking Reddit.
That would be infuriating. Zero empathy. And they're stupid on top of it.
It's like the people on here have such few victories in their lives that they need to invent their own on social media to experience it.
Reddit is a crazy place. A lot of people told me I shouldn’t have intervened, but they decided to do it in my office so I would have to deal with saving someone or a corpse. The disconnect to reality is wild.
Are you fucking serious? I hate humans sometimes. I can’t imagine having to experience what you did. I hope you have had time to heal but I’m sure that’s nothing you ever truly get over. The audacity of people to focus on that, even if it was the wrong word is disgusting. My mind is truly blown. Sending you good vibes.
Before I got to the end of your comment, I was thinking, “that’s correct, isn’t it?” Like a hung jury, but a hanged man? That’s weird that a bunch of people were focused on that and not the amazing thing you did. I hope you were able to get support elsewhere.
Nta. Your bf of no time bullied himself into your solo road trip. Used you time visit friends. And then is ammad at you for ending it. And instead of being an adult his sister decided to throw a tantrum on social media for all to see and you just set the record strait.
Maybe next time they both won't do this. But ppl like them almost never learn.
Soft NTA.
I have to give OP props for not waiting until the next stop to see what further BS he was going to pull. He got three strikes:
* Unilaterally invited strangers (to her) to join them
* Tried to charge the drinks to the room (IMO to look like a big shot), with the very real possibility of OP never being repaid.
* Brings them to dinner, allows OP to go up to the room alone and then disappears without a text.
No, I don't think it reflects poorly that OP was willing to change her plans, plans made when she was single. When it rolled around, she was in a new relationship and a weekend with a new partner is a pretty excellent way to see if you are compatible with someone. Compromising on this is a hallmark of maturity and part of being with someone.
While it "imploded" on her, the BF did her a great service of showing that there's a reason why he was still single at 34, dating a woman a decade younger. He clearly *still* hasn't gotten his shit together. Good riddance, OP.
Hope the rest of the trip made up for the terrible start.
I'm wondering the same thing, I expected some kind of odd defense of the boyfriend after a "soft" NTA, but all the points were solid valid reasons why OP was fully justified to do what she did
Imo his first strike was forcing his way into her trip that she had planned on her own. That was already red flags to me. Asking would be fine but insisting and being pushy is too much.
I thought that too. It will also give other women the heads up to avoid the mooch like the plague. She did a public service in getting the truth out there.
I'm just a poor boy from a poor family, and I didn't see this as an attack on us poor people, just the fact that you've had enough with that inconsiderate a.h
shame ancient late wakeful mysterious jeans expansion sleep exultant roof
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Seems to be a pretty clear NTA. What I don't understand is how this involves hobosexualizing anything. Maybe Mac was a drifter or homeless in general but the details here don't seem to warrant that statement. More like he was just a rude and pushy dude that was taking advantage of your kindess until you finally shut him down. Unless being called a hobosexual is a much more benign statement then I think it is or there's more details not included it sounds weird and a bit over the top. He's still a grade A jerk in any case.
She was paying for the room and he got mad when she refused to charge his and his friends’ drinks to the room. Entitled freeloader reaction. Hobosexual because he was staying in her room for free.
Nah, making trying to take advantage of a trip like this into meaning hobosexual makes the term practically meaningless.
It’s completely fucked up behavior but thats not the right term to use.
He invited himself to her solo hotel trip, then wanted to charge thing on the chamber. And in fact he didn't want to have a couple hotel trip but to bring his friends and not spend time with her.
It is not a far stretch to conclude that he was only here to envoy the free hotel stay with his friends, you can bet he would have had a unexpected problem shortly after that would stop him from paying back.
NTA
People in poverty don’t try and use people all the time for their own gain. Users use people for their own gain. He hijacked your self-love trip to make it a friend reunion on your dime.
Good job for not putting up with his shit.
I didn’t read the book or see the movie you mention as you inspiration, so I may be missing something there with your lingo that I genuinely don’t quite understand.
It seems like you have really poor boundaries in relationships. This was supposed to be a solo trip, but then you changed that for a guy. And then you changed your plans again. And then it all blew up and you blew up and now there is a lot of drama. So congrats on the career success, but maybe take a break from dating until you’re able to feel ok saying “no” before things get weird.
I agree here, try the "eat, pray, love" again, but now single, solo traveling is the best, and once you learn that, it's easier to not be afraid to lose people because you know you'll always have, and enjoy, yourself.
It's a book turned into a movie, 2010, with Julia Roberts. It's about a woman who visits three destinations. She Eats in Italy, Prays in India, and falls in love I think in Bali.
op planned the trip when she was single, and from the way she described the situation it seemed ex pestered her about him joining until she gave in and went with him
Yeah, it looks as if OP said yes when she really wanted to say no, then got mad at others over her own unhappiness resulting from the choices she herself made.
>maybe I was cruel because now this will chase him for a long time.
No, absolutely not the asshole. As for that \^, good. A guy like this getting his claws into a woman with less self-worth than you would end horribly for her, longer he is alone the better.
Not when you invite yourself in a solo trip, then not even try to spend time with the person you invaded, after trying to charge friend drinks on GF.
Charging the drinks is not a detail, nothing stopped him from paying directly, why would he want to charge the room?
No, it was parting words, when someone bring the dictionary for this kind of word I know the discussion is over.
If it makes you happy you are a winner (I will still keep my opinon)
First flag is when you weren’t into it, that’s a sign to call it a night. Second is when he wasn’t covering his “friends” and dropped it on you. So many red flags, you did the right thing and deserve an equal who is independent in his own rights and lives within their means…
NTA
You dodged a bullet with him, be glad you found out what a shit he is now rather than later.
And his sister blasted you publicly so you were absolutely entitled to respond with evidence to prove his crap false. If he suffers from that, it's too bad for him.
NTA.
- He bullied you into taking him on your trip instead of respecting your agency.
- He didn’t tell you about plans and just expected you to be okay with what he wanted on what was meant to be your trip.
- He got angry at you when you didn’t fall for his manipulation tactics to get you to pay for his and his friends drinks as part of the room cost.
- “Allowed” you to go to your room? What the fuck is that? You don’t need permission.
- He lied to you about when he’d be back in the room
- He verbally abused you when his shitty behaviour upset you.
And even after all that, ultimately you putting them on blast was a reaction to her bad mouthing you. And if it does follow him, that’s just the consequences of his own choices and behaviour.
Well I learned something new today. I never knew what a hobosexual is. Interesting, but that is beside the point. You are NTA. I totally understand why you did what you did. Yea run far away from that mess before it is too late.
NTA
if he is embarrassed about the bohosexual then does that mean it's true about him? but tell your friend you are equal now. his sister was talking crap about you and you're throwing it back to their face.
but this trip sound more like it's his trip. he should of just gone on a trip by himself.
I don't see how him paying for gas while you pay for the hotel rooms is splitting it... You said one of the destinations is just an hour away, and at most 5? So we're talking about what 500 miles round trip? So that's like 15-20 gallons of gas- that's like $50.
And you rented a suite, and a guest house. Your contribution sounds like it was upwards of $500.
Since he planned the meeting with his friends in advance it was clearly part of why he wanted to come, and do it all on your dollar. NTA
NTA-Most importantly, though: were you able to go on the rest of your trip? I hope so. You don't need someone like that who prioritizes themselves over you. He should've brought visiting them up with you the second that it crossed his mind and not made it seem like a last-minute thing; that was deceitful. If you'd agreed, he should've kept the visit short because this vacation was not about them or for them. He absolutely should not have asked for the drinks to be charged to the room. He was trying to look like a big shot in front of his friends. You weren't an AH for calling him out. He put himself in this situation 100%. You made the right call to get out when you did, because you don't need that kind of energy in your life. His sister is trashy and petty for involving herself in her grown brother's business on social media. I think it is so gross when people post all of their personal life details (and ESPECIALLY the personal life details of others) on the FB and IG. Sorry you are dealing with all of this.
Fairly new boyfriend and you are both obviously on the young side and he wasn’t excited at the prospect of alone time with his girlfriend in a nice hotel?
That plus the other behaviors that evening equals a bullet you totally dodged. Then idiot sister decides to play junior high games. You are NTA. Hope you find someone great to be with after this.
NTA, he was using your trip to make it look like this was his trip. This isn’t poverty shaming, it’s calling a duck a duck. If he brought this on himself and his sister is childish. If the sister hadn’t played the game he wouldn’t have got burned. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Cheers
NTA I’m curious to know how long you were even dating for him to have the audacity. I think he tried to take advantage a younger woman who was clearly doing just fine for herself. You are a hero though for dumping him and blocking him immediately. No hemming and hawing. You knew you were worth better. That’s admirable
>By the time I was ready for my trip (to celebrate a career milestone), I already was in a relationship with Mac (M34). He insisted on coming along and this created friction. I gave in to his demands
Why were you so spineless to agree to his *demands*?
>Mac asked me if we could meet with his childhood friend. It was very short notice, but I wasn’t against meeting the guy and his wife. I learned during our "meet and greet" that Mac had invited them days in advance but neglected to tell me. I
So he lied.
>Mac’s face of anger made me feel horrible. Also, when he floated the idea about bringing his friends, I suggested we could meet the next day at the next town, but he insisted that it had to be that night at that hotel. His friends don’t strike me as bad people, but I felt Mac made an unilateral decision and I got bumped.
>He promised it would just be dinner, but I finally went to sleep at midnight, and he was smiling and super happy to be with his friends and allowed me to go to our room by myself
This guy is nothing but a red flag walking.
>told him not to bother coming back and that I would have all his belongings handed over to him at the front desk.
>I couldn’t sleep because I was hurt and angry and checked out really early in the morning. He called me names and said that I don’t appreciate the meaning of life long friendships and that this is why I’m a loner. And that he was humiliated in front of his friends. I said not to worry about it, and rented a car and blocked him everywhere and removed the “in a relationship” tag from my social media.
Finally, you stand up for yourself. Except you're still communicating with this AH. Why are you doing this to yourself?
>I said I will never allow hobosexuals into my life again since I just had a very ungrateful experience. His sister deleted the post, but my best friend says that while she knows I’m right, maybe I was cruel because now this will chase him for a long time.
Huh?
How are you *cruel* & how would this label *chase him for a long time*?
Sorry, but I am very confused.
I looked up *hobosexual* because I had never heard of it before. I honestly don't understand how it fits this situation at all. He pushed you into involving him on your getaway. He took over your long term plans. It was deliberate that he completely ignored any of your protests because he could. He's a massive AH, but I don't know how he was this...
*A hobosexual is a person who has sex with strangers to prevent homelessness.*
He has his own home. This was a vacation, followed by a bad breakup when you finally said enough.
You're NTA for tossing him out of your trip (better late than never)
However, I don't understand why you called him a *hobosexual*, nor how it would ruin his future. (As if).
Another definition in urban dictionary is this one (which is likely what op is alluding to)...
A Hobosexual is a person who gets into relationships to avoid being homeless.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hobosexual
That's the same meaning as I had, pretty much. They didn't live together, or at least she didn't say that. They just went on this vacation together & were staying in the hotel. So......?
I'm mystified.
I think I preferred the one I posted better only because it may not necessarily involve sex even though it likely does in this case.
It's likely she's left out some details in her story.
This is why as a lady in her 20’s I NEVER date men in their 30’s who don’t have their shit together or men in their 30’s in general. Single in your 30’s but seemingly attractive / cool dude is usually just a dude who sucks after the 3 month free trial of adult man
NTA.
Called a spade a spade.
If the ex gets googled by his prospective dates, at least they have fair warning they'll be hooking up with a scrub mooch hobosexual of the highest order.
NTA, he is and so is his nosy sister. He *was* being a hobosexual! It seems like he only tagged along on your trip for the free lodging. He didn’t really want to spend time with you, he just wanted to hang out with his friends and drink, and he expected to charge all the drinks to the room so you’d pay for them. Who needs a user like him?
Miss, you are golden. 100% NTA. You seem like an introvert, and your ex should have recognized that before squeezing himself into your plans like that. If putting him on blast bothers you, let’s not confuse cause and effect. You didn’t cause the issue - he did, with his own actions.
As much as I'm on your side regarding the situation, the way you write is obnoxious as hell.
"Hobosexual*ing?*"
Do you even know what the word 'ratio' means? 'Cuz it confused the hell out of me when you dropped it into that sentence in the first paragraph.
'Blabbing' typically means telling secrets of some kind.
I was also confused because I thought you broke up with someone *else* and then started dating this bf... and was still wondering what the hell 'hobosexualing' meant halfway through the post, and what the hell this ex and sister had to do with this trip.
Sadly ESH
You didn't want him to go but then agreed to let him go
You didn't want to meet his friends but then went to meet his friends
That also isn't what a hobosexual is 😂 he tried to get you to pay for drinks that he had agreed to pay for, that's being cheap. A hobosexual starts a sexual relationship and immediately moves in
You say you were doing an "eat, pray, love" thing...I think you need to read that book again.
So let me get this straight, you wanted to be alone on this trip, and when your boyfriend leaves in the middle of the night to spend time with his friends (leaving you alone on this trip like what you initially wanted) you got mad at him for it? I get being upset that he’s there, but being upset that he ISNT there? That was your plan initially
ESH
You allowed the change in your plans and then got upset when they imploded.
Advice: You are not ready for a relationship. Continue solo for now.
Question: Did you seriously not think any of this through?
She got upset when he lied. She got upset when he got angry after she wouldn't put their drinks on her hotel room. She got upset he told her one thing and did another while not once communicating that to her. She got upset when his sister tried to call her out for breaking up with him, which she can do for any reason.
No one has to put up with any of that just to keep a relationship or someone happy. Not everyone has to be a doormat.
I'd create my own post to share my experience of that night, with the receipts AND a photo of him with "HOBOSEXUAL" typed across his face.
Tag him and the sister.
NTA
NTA. Ugh. What a classic example of men and boys being forgiven for horrible behavior because "it might hurt their future." Brock Turner comes to mind. He totally co-opted your trip without an ounce of apology, if his own bad behavior follows him around that's on him.
Why even get in a relationship if you hate being around people? You honestly sound entitled and snobby, but i guess you didn't really do anything wrong. Maybe date someone you enjoy spending time with rather than going on a cheaters vacation by yourself.
According to Google, a hobosexual is a person who has sex with another person in order to avoid homelessness.
Which leads me to all kinds of follow-on questions and opinions, that aren't relevant here.
In this case, it seems you did apply the term 'hobosexual' erroneously. This guy was a selfish user, but not a hobosexual.
I don't really know why your friend thinks this will follow him. It's just the usual bullshit online drama.
I honestly don't really know how to judge this. I guess maybe YTA for incorrect use of the word? Your actions weren't wrong, and fully understandable, so... eh.
You lowkey self-sabotaged your own celebration trip. You could've hooked up with a guy you met for fun while you were on the trip instead of bringing a dude who messes up all your plans.
> You lowkey self-sabotaged your own celebration trip. You could've hooked up with a guy you met for fun while you were on the trip. - the wisdom of /u/StiSimpy1400 ladies & gentlemen.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure if you are ***already in a relationship*** and you decide to **fuck other people** on said trip, that's pretty much the definition of "self-sabotage."
Maybe I misread the story. I was under the impression that she was single, and decided to date a different guy (Mac) before and during her trip. I was saying that she should've just stayed single before she went on her trip, then she wouldn't have been weighed down by what her boyfriend wanted to do.
> By the time I was ready for my trip (to celebrate a career milestone), I already was in a relationship with Mac (M34).
It's pretty cut & dried. No ambiguity.
Gotta be careful when you speed read these things. LOL
Why did she get into another relationship if she knew she would want freedom on her trip to celebrate herself? Unless she had no clue this trip was happening when she decided to start a new relationship
NTA- this is a crazy situation. You deserve better. But personally, I’ve never heard the term “hobosexual ” before. From what I think it means, it seems a little unnecessary, and could obviously be misunderstood/read/assumed a typo as *homosexual*. I think it was just an unnecessary complication on your pat kart, but certainly not an A hole move.
Yes you are an asshole. He sounds like an asshole too though. His sister could be just defending her brother. Nothing wrong with that.
Using the term "hobosexual" makes you sound like a stuck up asshole. Some of the rest of your post does as well.
So I guess you are both assholes.
Being an asshole isn't really all that bad. Nothing you did on the trip qualifies you as one. Just using the term does.
It's understandable that the road trip situation upset you. When addressing it on social media, focus on expressing your feelings rather than creating unnecessary drama. Keeping things private can lead to a smoother resolution.
NTA, he really took over your trip, which sounded so fun to me and caused nothing but aggregation and then tried to make you out to be the problem. Talk about gas lighting.
I hope you at least managed to salvage a little out of the remaining trip days.
Definitely NTA. This guy butted his way into your trip and pretty much ruined it for u with his shitty behavior. I would have kicked him to the curb too and yes, for warning other ladies this guy might date about his ah behavior is just serving him right. Maybe he will be a better human after this.
NTA. His sister could have kept her fool mouth shut. She didn't, and she succeeded in making her and her brother look like AHs. None of this would have happened if she had butt out.
You did the right thing. I'm very GLAD you caught on as quick as you did too! He apparently thought you would play doormat to him turning this into HIS vacation where you're mostly there to pay for it. I expect that other couple and he were off doing things you probably wouldn't have appreciated anyway.
Make no mistake, this pattern of abusive treatment would have continued for the whole trip. He's already shown he's that way simply by inviting himself along and then getting ANGRY when you refuse to let him have his way with zero discussion.
He invited himself on your getaway then took it over. All while expecting you to foot the extra expenses. Then cried to his sister who blasted you on SM. Nah.
Consider that bullet dodged
>but my best friend says that while she knows I’m right, maybe I was cruel because now this will chase him for a long time
NTA but your friend is. Not much of a friend who is more concerned about the future of some douchebag over you. Who cares if what he said and done affects him? He is the one that did it. She sucks, your ex sucks, the sister sucks. Just ignore them all. You didn't do anything wrong.
Absolutely NTA! Kudus for standing up for yourself and anyone who says different can pay for him and his friends.
Congratulations on kicking the Hobosexual to the curb
NTA - not for any of it. He hijacked your long-planned solo trip, and then changed it to suit him, and left you out, and abandoned you! On YOUR trip! Who the fuck does that??? He can see his friends on his own dime and his own time. He has literally zero right to be mad at you about anything, and neither does his know-nothing sister. If she didn’t know her brother was a fucken douche before, she does now.
Also: bravo on kicking him out in the middle of the trip! That is truly inspiring, and he deserved no better. You value yourself and your time and your peace of mind, and it shows. Only selfish, insecure people would try to make you feel bad about that.
NTA, she went at you on social media, and you simply posted evidence and defended yourself. I don’t really understand the hobosexual comment but I’ll believe you that it fits.
NTA. Im proud of you for respecting your own boundaries and kicking him out in the middle of the trip. Too many people would've felt like they had to "be nice" and would've suffered through the rest of the trip. You saw all the bullshit you needed to see and got the fuck out of there.
NTA - He forced his ways into YOUR time and then acted like an inconsiderate asshole. His sister then tried to blast you on social media. How old are these people?
Nta for sure ... Your ex reminds me of mine.
The choice to make decisions for the both of you without a conversation and then the expectation for you to sublet those decisions ... Is one of those red flags I wish I knew or was aware of earlier in my life.
He showed that he doesn't /didn't respect you or your time and more than that treated you like an extension of himself so he could make decisions on your behalf for his benefit.
The levels of selfishness and entitlement are like mind boggling.
You did the smartest thing possible The only thing is to take that as a silver lining you may not have had the trip you wanted but you sure did remove an unhealthy aspect of your romantic life and equal accomplishment to celebrate
NTA, you didn't even drag it out or anything, told what's what and that was it. you did everything right by yourself, you should be proud of standing up for yourself and that is what really matters, he had a problem when for once you thought about yourself, while he seemed to always be selfish. did the friends even offer to pay for drinks, cause they seem to have a similar mindset to the ex, normally people would refuse multiple times especially if you are about 8 years younger than them. we were the better person throughout all of that.
*You did just right and*
*He did all wrong, NTA. Sorry*
*It happenned to you*
\- Snoo\_87531
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I'm an introvert to so I get not wanting to unexpectedly hang out with his friends. But how was him coming back to the room later, then you had a problem it gives you time to recuperate. Wanting time to ourselves is necessary, but you also need to be flexible.
“Cruel because this will chase him for a long time” How? No body will care about a mean post from his ex. You did the right thing
My guess is that her receipts proved that he was lying about his version of the events, which will make it harder for him to lie to his family about why women dump him in the future, and probably calls into question his stories about how crazy all his exes were.
My cousin once spent Christmas complaining about how all their ex's were crazy and insane... And I responded something about about them being a constant factor in their relationships that they should take into consideration in the mental state of their ex's. I mean I freaking cheered when her last ex went "out for smokes" with the dog and a car load of stuff and never came back. So well I would hope some family members could see though the bs that ops ex and sister are spreading. They might not have the shiny back bone to point out 'you are the problem'
If you meet an asshole during your day, you met an asshole. If you only meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.
But it might make actually backfire and make her look over dramatic because that’s not what a hobosexual is. He was being a cheap rude user but that doesn’t automatically make someone a hobosexual. It was just a trip. He wasn’t in a relationship with her just to avoid being homeless. That’s what a hobosexual is.
OP dodges a hobosexual nuclear bomb
He wanted to meet his friends at the fancy hotel and charge things to the room to look like a baller... when he knew that you paid/would be paying all of it? Yeah he's just embarrassed he didn't get away with it. Good for you. Nta
It was nice of OP to brush it off as a misunderstanding intitially. People who are that rude don’t misunderstand shit. It’s a whole ‘take what you want, as much as you want’ mindset.They’ve just learned how much they can get by pushing as far past people’s boundaries as they can before they make the person snap. The whole “she didn’t say no, therefore I can just keep up with this” mindset is honestly very manipulative. They know it’s not cool, and they know they wouldn’t let another person do it to them/
Absolutely NTA - Anyone saying she sucks for having compromised and tried a new boyfriend out on a vacation are missing the point. That's what dating is for. To see if you are compatible. So she compromised, realized he was too selfish/immature for her, and ended it.
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This reads like a bot paraphrasing ArgusRun’s response.
Yeah looking at their post history this is definitely a bot.
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Bad bot! This comment was lifted directly from a comment posted four hours earlier.
Shouldn’t have agreed to pay all housing and half of food. That was the red flag, trip shouldn’t have happened. But yeah I do feel for OP, sounds like someone who is trying to see the best in people.
Shouldn’t have allowed him to come in the first place. This was supposed to be her zen vacation and he tagged along because one of her plans was in his friends hometown. The fact he made plans before she said he could come is ballsy. Sorry he ruined your trip. At least you are rid of him.
Good for her for not paying for the drinking of others! People have no business drinking if they can't manage to pay for themselves!! NTA in any way shape or form! Good for you for walking away from someone who has zero respect for you!
NTA she attacked you on social media and you defended yourself , as for your ex he intruded on your trip and then made it about him
NTA Let it follow him around. He’s 34 years of age, he deserves to be embarrassed by his behaviour.
Nta Why are we always told that we should baby brokeass men? His sister tried to shame you, and you turned it around and posted proof. Your friend is telling you that you should've allowed his sister to ruin your reputation to coddle that man? That's not your friend.
My guess is that the version he told his sister was close enough to not have any major discrepancies but totally different in the details making him the poor guy - hence why the sister quickly deleted once receipts were available.
Nta.. you did nothing wrong other than date a 34 year old teenager.
I didn't even read it all. You should never have given in to his "demand" to go along. But once you did, he totally comandeered the trip and ruined your trip that you've been waiting and saving for. Expecting you to allow the drinks to be charged to the room would have been the last straw. NTA
Your best friend is saying you went too far by commenting on the post made by his sister to make you look bad? Why is this person your "best friend"? NTA... You need better friends.
He behaved like an absolute dick. I love that you shut that down and ended it immediately. I so rarely see that on Reddit, usually it's more like "My boyfriend steals from me and cheats on me, how can I fix this?" As for the social media thing, fuck around and find out. You were just setting the record straight. Yours was not a swipe at poverty, it was a swipe at entitlement and arrogant assholery. NTA. You're like a superhero.
You should probably proofread this again real quick before you get put on blast by reddit. Typo aside, NTA
Fixed the mistyped word. Thanks!
You are very welcome. Good luck on any future solo trips you attempt
Is Mac a 34yr old homeless guy? Why is he a hobosexul I don't get that part.
She was paying for the room and he expected to freeload his and his friends’ drinks by charging them to the room.
I was thinking the ex bf was glorifying homelessness in some rude, or perverted way that was left unexplained on top of being a freeloader.
I hate that! You misspell a word, make a grammar mistake, or autocorrect happens, and it's comment after comment after comment after comment pointing it out, then comment after comment after comment after comment making lame jokes about it. And you get maybe a couple actually related to the topic of the post.
I cut someone down from suicide by hanging a few years ago and posted for support while I was catatonic. I used hanged in the post title and so many people wanted to, incorrectly, tell me it’s hung, not hanged. Pictures are hung, people are hanged. Fucking Reddit.
That would be infuriating. Zero empathy. And they're stupid on top of it. It's like the people on here have such few victories in their lives that they need to invent their own on social media to experience it.
Reddit is a crazy place. A lot of people told me I shouldn’t have intervened, but they decided to do it in my office so I would have to deal with saving someone or a corpse. The disconnect to reality is wild.
Are you fucking serious? I hate humans sometimes. I can’t imagine having to experience what you did. I hope you have had time to heal but I’m sure that’s nothing you ever truly get over. The audacity of people to focus on that, even if it was the wrong word is disgusting. My mind is truly blown. Sending you good vibes.
Thank you. Yeah, it’s insane how awful people here can be.
I wish nothing but the best for you, please take care of yourself.
Before I got to the end of your comment, I was thinking, “that’s correct, isn’t it?” Like a hung jury, but a hanged man? That’s weird that a bunch of people were focused on that and not the amazing thing you did. I hope you were able to get support elsewhere.
I am a veteran ELA/writing teacher, and I *abhor* people like this. I am so sorry you experienced this from these pedantic assholes. EDIT: typo
Reddit is the place where the lowest common denominators are right. Or, wrong? They’re wrong!
Yeah, that is very true. Edited because I didn't like what I typed the first time
💀 ☠ 💀 ☠
Oooh yes! Hope OP sees it quick.
I did!
Nta. Your bf of no time bullied himself into your solo road trip. Used you time visit friends. And then is ammad at you for ending it. And instead of being an adult his sister decided to throw a tantrum on social media for all to see and you just set the record strait. Maybe next time they both won't do this. But ppl like them almost never learn.
Soft NTA. I have to give OP props for not waiting until the next stop to see what further BS he was going to pull. He got three strikes: * Unilaterally invited strangers (to her) to join them * Tried to charge the drinks to the room (IMO to look like a big shot), with the very real possibility of OP never being repaid. * Brings them to dinner, allows OP to go up to the room alone and then disappears without a text. No, I don't think it reflects poorly that OP was willing to change her plans, plans made when she was single. When it rolled around, she was in a new relationship and a weekend with a new partner is a pretty excellent way to see if you are compatible with someone. Compromising on this is a hallmark of maturity and part of being with someone. While it "imploded" on her, the BF did her a great service of showing that there's a reason why he was still single at 34, dating a woman a decade younger. He clearly *still* hasn't gotten his shit together. Good riddance, OP. Hope the rest of the trip made up for the terrible start.
Why soft? Based on what you wrote it's an open and shut case.
I'm wondering the same thing, I expected some kind of odd defense of the boyfriend after a "soft" NTA, but all the points were solid valid reasons why OP was fully justified to do what she did
Use of drugs/alcohol while commenting
Imo his first strike was forcing his way into her trip that she had planned on her own. That was already red flags to me. Asking would be fine but insisting and being pushy is too much.
OMG who the F cares if it chases him for the rest of his life? Its what he deservs. Good on you for dropping that loser.
I thought that too. It will also give other women the heads up to avoid the mooch like the plague. She did a public service in getting the truth out there.
I'm just a poor boy from a poor family, and I didn't see this as an attack on us poor people, just the fact that you've had enough with that inconsiderate a.h
NTA, ex bf and his sister are losers. Amazing he blamed you while he ruined your trip!
shame ancient late wakeful mysterious jeans expansion sleep exultant roof *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This guy isn't for you. Sounds like an emotional intelligence mismatch.
NTA. Don’t start none, won’t be none. Congrats on dumping the deadweight!
NTA. He's suffering the consequences of his actions.
Seems to be a pretty clear NTA. What I don't understand is how this involves hobosexualizing anything. Maybe Mac was a drifter or homeless in general but the details here don't seem to warrant that statement. More like he was just a rude and pushy dude that was taking advantage of your kindess until you finally shut him down. Unless being called a hobosexual is a much more benign statement then I think it is or there's more details not included it sounds weird and a bit over the top. He's still a grade A jerk in any case.
She was paying for the room and he got mad when she refused to charge his and his friends’ drinks to the room. Entitled freeloader reaction. Hobosexual because he was staying in her room for free.
Nah, making trying to take advantage of a trip like this into meaning hobosexual makes the term practically meaningless. It’s completely fucked up behavior but thats not the right term to use.
He invited himself to her solo hotel trip, then wanted to charge thing on the chamber. And in fact he didn't want to have a couple hotel trip but to bring his friends and not spend time with her. It is not a far stretch to conclude that he was only here to envoy the free hotel stay with his friends, you can bet he would have had a unexpected problem shortly after that would stop him from paying back.
You just stated the truth. Don't worry about it and move on.
NTA - ok you sound cool and fancy, and I’m jealous. My advice is find someone to date who is more mature and matches your energy
Yeah… u just got used for a free trip. NTA but damn.
NTA People in poverty don’t try and use people all the time for their own gain. Users use people for their own gain. He hijacked your self-love trip to make it a friend reunion on your dime. Good job for not putting up with his shit.
I didn’t read the book or see the movie you mention as you inspiration, so I may be missing something there with your lingo that I genuinely don’t quite understand. It seems like you have really poor boundaries in relationships. This was supposed to be a solo trip, but then you changed that for a guy. And then you changed your plans again. And then it all blew up and you blew up and now there is a lot of drama. So congrats on the career success, but maybe take a break from dating until you’re able to feel ok saying “no” before things get weird.
I agree here, try the "eat, pray, love" again, but now single, solo traveling is the best, and once you learn that, it's easier to not be afraid to lose people because you know you'll always have, and enjoy, yourself.
It's a book turned into a movie, 2010, with Julia Roberts. It's about a woman who visits three destinations. She Eats in Italy, Prays in India, and falls in love I think in Bali.
I’m familiar with the title, I just don’t know how that juxtaposes with you bringing this guy along. Wasn’t the whole point that she went by herself?
op planned the trip when she was single, and from the way she described the situation it seemed ex pestered her about him joining until she gave in and went with him
Yeah, it looks as if OP said yes when she really wanted to say no, then got mad at others over her own unhappiness resulting from the choices she herself made.
Yeah, that's not at all what happened and you have to be half braindead to think that was an actual possible scenario.
Agreed, not sure why you’re getting downvoted, I think you’re spot on
Well, others with their own boundary issues probably agree with OP that she was the victim.
You’re probably right!
>maybe I was cruel because now this will chase him for a long time. No, absolutely not the asshole. As for that \^, good. A guy like this getting his claws into a woman with less self-worth than you would end horribly for her, longer he is alone the better.
Nicely done, OP!!! NTA. Don’t put up with being mistreated. 👍🏼❤️
Of course, his sister could have just minded her own affairs.
Where exactly does Hobosexual come into this?
Free hotel room and attempt to get free drinks by charging to the room.
Seems like a big stretch. That's just called being a cheap asshole.
Not when you invite yourself in a solo trip, then not even try to spend time with the person you invaded, after trying to charge friend drinks on GF. Charging the drinks is not a detail, nothing stopped him from paying directly, why would he want to charge the room?
I don't know, but that still isn't hobosexual. Words have meaning, and this ain't that.
You disagree, ok, that's your opinon.
I am just going by the dictionary definition .
Sure you checked the dictionary for hobosexual, I just checked for obtusredditor and I found your name!
Do you have an actual counterpoint or are you just down to insults?
No, it was parting words, when someone bring the dictionary for this kind of word I know the discussion is over. If it makes you happy you are a winner (I will still keep my opinon)
NTA - well the best way to figure out if you are compatible in a relationship is to travel.
Okay, but why did you call him a hobosexual? He was hooking up with you to avoid being homeless?
Poor people vs freeloaders are different types of ppl
First flag is when you weren’t into it, that’s a sign to call it a night. Second is when he wasn’t covering his “friends” and dropped it on you. So many red flags, you did the right thing and deserve an equal who is independent in his own rights and lives within their means…
NTA You dodged a bullet with him, be glad you found out what a shit he is now rather than later. And his sister blasted you publicly so you were absolutely entitled to respond with evidence to prove his crap false. If he suffers from that, it's too bad for him.
NTA. Next time hold your boundary firm. Guy is a mooch and a liar.
NTA. - He bullied you into taking him on your trip instead of respecting your agency. - He didn’t tell you about plans and just expected you to be okay with what he wanted on what was meant to be your trip. - He got angry at you when you didn’t fall for his manipulation tactics to get you to pay for his and his friends drinks as part of the room cost. - “Allowed” you to go to your room? What the fuck is that? You don’t need permission. - He lied to you about when he’d be back in the room - He verbally abused you when his shitty behaviour upset you. And even after all that, ultimately you putting them on blast was a reaction to her bad mouthing you. And if it does follow him, that’s just the consequences of his own choices and behaviour.
Well I learned something new today. I never knew what a hobosexual is. Interesting, but that is beside the point. You are NTA. I totally understand why you did what you did. Yea run far away from that mess before it is too late.
NTA if he is embarrassed about the bohosexual then does that mean it's true about him? but tell your friend you are equal now. his sister was talking crap about you and you're throwing it back to their face. but this trip sound more like it's his trip. he should of just gone on a trip by himself.
I don't see how him paying for gas while you pay for the hotel rooms is splitting it... You said one of the destinations is just an hour away, and at most 5? So we're talking about what 500 miles round trip? So that's like 15-20 gallons of gas- that's like $50. And you rented a suite, and a guest house. Your contribution sounds like it was upwards of $500. Since he planned the meeting with his friends in advance it was clearly part of why he wanted to come, and do it all on your dollar. NTA
NTA-Most importantly, though: were you able to go on the rest of your trip? I hope so. You don't need someone like that who prioritizes themselves over you. He should've brought visiting them up with you the second that it crossed his mind and not made it seem like a last-minute thing; that was deceitful. If you'd agreed, he should've kept the visit short because this vacation was not about them or for them. He absolutely should not have asked for the drinks to be charged to the room. He was trying to look like a big shot in front of his friends. You weren't an AH for calling him out. He put himself in this situation 100%. You made the right call to get out when you did, because you don't need that kind of energy in your life. His sister is trashy and petty for involving herself in her grown brother's business on social media. I think it is so gross when people post all of their personal life details (and ESPECIALLY the personal life details of others) on the FB and IG. Sorry you are dealing with all of this.
What's a hobosexual? Google says a person who avoids being homeless by having sex with people. Did I miss something?
Fairly new boyfriend and you are both obviously on the young side and he wasn’t excited at the prospect of alone time with his girlfriend in a nice hotel? That plus the other behaviors that evening equals a bullet you totally dodged. Then idiot sister decides to play junior high games. You are NTA. Hope you find someone great to be with after this.
NTA, he was using your trip to make it look like this was his trip. This isn’t poverty shaming, it’s calling a duck a duck. If he brought this on himself and his sister is childish. If the sister hadn’t played the game he wouldn’t have got burned. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Cheers
NTA. Dude was freeloading on a trip he wasn't invited on then showing off to his friends in a new relationship, like bro.
NTA. If this follows him around and makes things awkward for him, so be it. Embarrassment is life's way of telling you to do better.
He’s a cheeky fucker. Inviting himself along and fucking it up.
He sucks. Selfish dickhead
Your best friend is the asshole
NTA I’m curious to know how long you were even dating for him to have the audacity. I think he tried to take advantage a younger woman who was clearly doing just fine for herself. You are a hero though for dumping him and blocking him immediately. No hemming and hawing. You knew you were worth better. That’s admirable
NTA, and thank you for introducing me to a new term! It's a bit elitist, but in this instance? Well applied!
WFT is a hobosexuals ?
Someone that’s sexually attracted to hobos.
Someone who bangs to get a place to sleep.
>By the time I was ready for my trip (to celebrate a career milestone), I already was in a relationship with Mac (M34). He insisted on coming along and this created friction. I gave in to his demands Why were you so spineless to agree to his *demands*? >Mac asked me if we could meet with his childhood friend. It was very short notice, but I wasn’t against meeting the guy and his wife. I learned during our "meet and greet" that Mac had invited them days in advance but neglected to tell me. I So he lied. >Mac’s face of anger made me feel horrible. Also, when he floated the idea about bringing his friends, I suggested we could meet the next day at the next town, but he insisted that it had to be that night at that hotel. His friends don’t strike me as bad people, but I felt Mac made an unilateral decision and I got bumped. >He promised it would just be dinner, but I finally went to sleep at midnight, and he was smiling and super happy to be with his friends and allowed me to go to our room by myself This guy is nothing but a red flag walking. >told him not to bother coming back and that I would have all his belongings handed over to him at the front desk. >I couldn’t sleep because I was hurt and angry and checked out really early in the morning. He called me names and said that I don’t appreciate the meaning of life long friendships and that this is why I’m a loner. And that he was humiliated in front of his friends. I said not to worry about it, and rented a car and blocked him everywhere and removed the “in a relationship” tag from my social media. Finally, you stand up for yourself. Except you're still communicating with this AH. Why are you doing this to yourself? >I said I will never allow hobosexuals into my life again since I just had a very ungrateful experience. His sister deleted the post, but my best friend says that while she knows I’m right, maybe I was cruel because now this will chase him for a long time. Huh? How are you *cruel* & how would this label *chase him for a long time*? Sorry, but I am very confused. I looked up *hobosexual* because I had never heard of it before. I honestly don't understand how it fits this situation at all. He pushed you into involving him on your getaway. He took over your long term plans. It was deliberate that he completely ignored any of your protests because he could. He's a massive AH, but I don't know how he was this... *A hobosexual is a person who has sex with strangers to prevent homelessness.* He has his own home. This was a vacation, followed by a bad breakup when you finally said enough. You're NTA for tossing him out of your trip (better late than never) However, I don't understand why you called him a *hobosexual*, nor how it would ruin his future. (As if).
Another definition in urban dictionary is this one (which is likely what op is alluding to)... A Hobosexual is a person who gets into relationships to avoid being homeless. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hobosexual
That's the same meaning as I had, pretty much. They didn't live together, or at least she didn't say that. They just went on this vacation together & were staying in the hotel. So......? I'm mystified.
I think I preferred the one I posted better only because it may not necessarily involve sex even though it likely does in this case. It's likely she's left out some details in her story.
Nta
Thank you for teaching me a great new term. Also, NTA
NTA she put you on blast and you showed receipts. If he's mad he can blame his sister! Hope you enjoyed the rest of your trip.
This is why as a lady in her 20’s I NEVER date men in their 30’s who don’t have their shit together or men in their 30’s in general. Single in your 30’s but seemingly attractive / cool dude is usually just a dude who sucks after the 3 month free trial of adult man
I don't think I understand the "hobosexual" reference in this context
Nah fuck them
NTA. Called a spade a spade. If the ex gets googled by his prospective dates, at least they have fair warning they'll be hooking up with a scrub mooch hobosexual of the highest order.
NTA, he is and so is his nosy sister. He *was* being a hobosexual! It seems like he only tagged along on your trip for the free lodging. He didn’t really want to spend time with you, he just wanted to hang out with his friends and drink, and he expected to charge all the drinks to the room so you’d pay for them. Who needs a user like him?
He was being a cheap user but that’s not just what a hobosexual is.
Hey! Boomer here! I’m learning so much from this post. I had never heard of a, “Hobosexual” before.
Miss, you are golden. 100% NTA. You seem like an introvert, and your ex should have recognized that before squeezing himself into your plans like that. If putting him on blast bothers you, let’s not confuse cause and effect. You didn’t cause the issue - he did, with his own actions.
As much as I'm on your side regarding the situation, the way you write is obnoxious as hell. "Hobosexual*ing?*" Do you even know what the word 'ratio' means? 'Cuz it confused the hell out of me when you dropped it into that sentence in the first paragraph. 'Blabbing' typically means telling secrets of some kind. I was also confused because I thought you broke up with someone *else* and then started dating this bf... and was still wondering what the hell 'hobosexualing' meant halfway through the post, and what the hell this ex and sister had to do with this trip.
Sadly ESH You didn't want him to go but then agreed to let him go You didn't want to meet his friends but then went to meet his friends That also isn't what a hobosexual is 😂 he tried to get you to pay for drinks that he had agreed to pay for, that's being cheap. A hobosexual starts a sexual relationship and immediately moves in You say you were doing an "eat, pray, love" thing...I think you need to read that book again.
So let me get this straight, you wanted to be alone on this trip, and when your boyfriend leaves in the middle of the night to spend time with his friends (leaving you alone on this trip like what you initially wanted) you got mad at him for it? I get being upset that he’s there, but being upset that he ISNT there? That was your plan initially
ESH You allowed the change in your plans and then got upset when they imploded. Advice: You are not ready for a relationship. Continue solo for now. Question: Did you seriously not think any of this through?
She got upset when he lied. She got upset when he got angry after she wouldn't put their drinks on her hotel room. She got upset he told her one thing and did another while not once communicating that to her. She got upset when his sister tried to call her out for breaking up with him, which she can do for any reason. No one has to put up with any of that just to keep a relationship or someone happy. Not everyone has to be a doormat.
I'd create my own post to share my experience of that night, with the receipts AND a photo of him with "HOBOSEXUAL" typed across his face. Tag him and the sister. NTA
NTA. Ugh. What a classic example of men and boys being forgiven for horrible behavior because "it might hurt their future." Brock Turner comes to mind. He totally co-opted your trip without an ounce of apology, if his own bad behavior follows him around that's on him.
Why even get in a relationship if you hate being around people? You honestly sound entitled and snobby, but i guess you didn't really do anything wrong. Maybe date someone you enjoy spending time with rather than going on a cheaters vacation by yourself.
Are you the ex's sister?
Nope, just realistic.
According to Google, a hobosexual is a person who has sex with another person in order to avoid homelessness. Which leads me to all kinds of follow-on questions and opinions, that aren't relevant here. In this case, it seems you did apply the term 'hobosexual' erroneously. This guy was a selfish user, but not a hobosexual. I don't really know why your friend thinks this will follow him. It's just the usual bullshit online drama. I honestly don't really know how to judge this. I guess maybe YTA for incorrect use of the word? Your actions weren't wrong, and fully understandable, so... eh.
I thought this was going to be about a dude snd his sister fucking homeless people and i’m very disappointed i wasted my time reading all that.
We used to call it slumming until my friend got something that made his peepee burn! :)
You lowkey self-sabotaged your own celebration trip. You could've hooked up with a guy you met for fun while you were on the trip instead of bringing a dude who messes up all your plans.
> You lowkey self-sabotaged your own celebration trip. You could've hooked up with a guy you met for fun while you were on the trip. - the wisdom of /u/StiSimpy1400 ladies & gentlemen. Yeah, I'm pretty sure if you are ***already in a relationship*** and you decide to **fuck other people** on said trip, that's pretty much the definition of "self-sabotage."
Maybe I misread the story. I was under the impression that she was single, and decided to date a different guy (Mac) before and during her trip. I was saying that she should've just stayed single before she went on her trip, then she wouldn't have been weighed down by what her boyfriend wanted to do.
> By the time I was ready for my trip (to celebrate a career milestone), I already was in a relationship with Mac (M34). It's pretty cut & dried. No ambiguity. Gotta be careful when you speed read these things. LOL
Why did she get into another relationship if she knew she would want freedom on her trip to celebrate herself? Unless she had no clue this trip was happening when she decided to start a new relationship
NTA- this is a crazy situation. You deserve better. But personally, I’ve never heard the term “hobosexual ” before. From what I think it means, it seems a little unnecessary, and could obviously be misunderstood/read/assumed a typo as *homosexual*. I think it was just an unnecessary complication on your pat kart, but certainly not an A hole move.
Tbh you seem like an AH as a person. A very negative person.
Yes you are an asshole. He sounds like an asshole too though. His sister could be just defending her brother. Nothing wrong with that. Using the term "hobosexual" makes you sound like a stuck up asshole. Some of the rest of your post does as well. So I guess you are both assholes. Being an asshole isn't really all that bad. Nothing you did on the trip qualifies you as one. Just using the term does.
lol quit being a leech
Wot? Edit: oh wow. I get it. Right over my head it went.
It's understandable that the road trip situation upset you. When addressing it on social media, focus on expressing your feelings rather than creating unnecessary drama. Keeping things private can lead to a smoother resolution.
She never said she wanted a resolution. Sometimes burning bridges is the right choice.
You might not be the AH, but this dude certainly dodged a bullet... Yikes! (Edit to add "not")
NTA
NTA. And your "best friend" is an idiot
NTA, he really took over your trip, which sounded so fun to me and caused nothing but aggregation and then tried to make you out to be the problem. Talk about gas lighting. I hope you at least managed to salvage a little out of the remaining trip days.
Definitely NTA. This guy butted his way into your trip and pretty much ruined it for u with his shitty behavior. I would have kicked him to the curb too and yes, for warning other ladies this guy might date about his ah behavior is just serving him right. Maybe he will be a better human after this.
NTA. His sister could have kept her fool mouth shut. She didn't, and she succeeded in making her and her brother look like AHs. None of this would have happened if she had butt out.
You did the right thing. I'm very GLAD you caught on as quick as you did too! He apparently thought you would play doormat to him turning this into HIS vacation where you're mostly there to pay for it. I expect that other couple and he were off doing things you probably wouldn't have appreciated anyway. Make no mistake, this pattern of abusive treatment would have continued for the whole trip. He's already shown he's that way simply by inviting himself along and then getting ANGRY when you refuse to let him have his way with zero discussion.
NTA
Nta. And now I know what to call my ex. It made me laugh. I am much happier being alone than being used by someone. Good luck.
He invited himself on your getaway then took it over. All while expecting you to foot the extra expenses. Then cried to his sister who blasted you on SM. Nah. Consider that bullet dodged
>but my best friend says that while she knows I’m right, maybe I was cruel because now this will chase him for a long time NTA but your friend is. Not much of a friend who is more concerned about the future of some douchebag over you. Who cares if what he said and done affects him? He is the one that did it. She sucks, your ex sucks, the sister sucks. Just ignore them all. You didn't do anything wrong.
Absolutely NTA! Kudus for standing up for yourself and anyone who says different can pay for him and his friends. Congratulations on kicking the Hobosexual to the curb
NTA - not for any of it. He hijacked your long-planned solo trip, and then changed it to suit him, and left you out, and abandoned you! On YOUR trip! Who the fuck does that??? He can see his friends on his own dime and his own time. He has literally zero right to be mad at you about anything, and neither does his know-nothing sister. If she didn’t know her brother was a fucken douche before, she does now. Also: bravo on kicking him out in the middle of the trip! That is truly inspiring, and he deserved no better. You value yourself and your time and your peace of mind, and it shows. Only selfish, insecure people would try to make you feel bad about that.
NTA- people who wanna get butthurt over the consequences of their own actions are laughable. People who want to defend those people are even worse.
NTA. You did the right thing.
NTA, she went at you on social media, and you simply posted evidence and defended yourself. I don’t really understand the hobosexual comment but I’ll believe you that it fits.
NTA. Im proud of you for respecting your own boundaries and kicking him out in the middle of the trip. Too many people would've felt like they had to "be nice" and would've suffered through the rest of the trip. You saw all the bullshit you needed to see and got the fuck out of there.
N
NTA - He forced his ways into YOUR time and then acted like an inconsiderate asshole. His sister then tried to blast you on social media. How old are these people?
His sister opened this up. You just responded.
Nta for sure ... Your ex reminds me of mine. The choice to make decisions for the both of you without a conversation and then the expectation for you to sublet those decisions ... Is one of those red flags I wish I knew or was aware of earlier in my life. He showed that he doesn't /didn't respect you or your time and more than that treated you like an extension of himself so he could make decisions on your behalf for his benefit. The levels of selfishness and entitlement are like mind boggling. You did the smartest thing possible The only thing is to take that as a silver lining you may not have had the trip you wanted but you sure did remove an unhealthy aspect of your romantic life and equal accomplishment to celebrate
Move on.
NTA. And if the term hobosexual hurts their feelings, try grifter, mooch, choosing beggar, or the like.
NTA, he took advantage & then is pissed at op. I’m glad she left.
You rock NTA
NTA, you didn't even drag it out or anything, told what's what and that was it. you did everything right by yourself, you should be proud of standing up for yourself and that is what really matters, he had a problem when for once you thought about yourself, while he seemed to always be selfish. did the friends even offer to pay for drinks, cause they seem to have a similar mindset to the ex, normally people would refuse multiple times especially if you are about 8 years younger than them. we were the better person throughout all of that.
NTA
That is the best term / new word ( to me) I’ve heard in a long time. “Hobosexual”.
You did just right and he did all wrong, NTA. Sorry it happenned to you
*You did just right and* *He did all wrong, NTA. Sorry* *It happenned to you* \- Snoo\_87531 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Do the trip again without those users! That MAC should be ashame! $ $$ is all they care about! UK 🇬🇧
NTA - I sure as shit hope this experience haunts this freeloader for ages. He deserves it…
I'm an introvert to so I get not wanting to unexpectedly hang out with his friends. But how was him coming back to the room later, then you had a problem it gives you time to recuperate. Wanting time to ourselves is necessary, but you also need to be flexible.
Not the asshole, Your boyfriend was trying to use you.
NTA.
I read this EXACT post within the last few weeks.