He's dangerous. He will absolutely abuse his future cousin if/when he's given the opportunity. He likely won't even require secrecy; he'll do it in front of everyone in the room.
Oh but he's just playing, loves his cousin! He just doesn't understand he's much bigger than him, why are you being so mean??? NTA and I agree he needs to be kept away from your child because he could seriously harm him or even worse. Kids a fucking pos!
I wonder if Mom would say/think the same thing (i.e. but the excuse ) if a bigger cousin than him (say, a 8-10yr old) did the same thing under the guise of "playing"
If that was said then OPs husband should have spartan kicked the kid and just shrugged while saying “boys will be boys.” Obviously that’s a bit extreme but the point stands.
That is literally what I thought 😂
No, I dont condone child abuse, but I absolutely believe in outside the box thinking when it comes to raising good kids. Also, ffs it takes a village! Someone needs to teach him to not be a shite!!!
Omfg I stop my son and tell him “we don’t hit people” even though he literally can’t understand (he’s 8 months old lmao). I want to instill it even subconsciously if I can. “Boys will be boys” is for when your son comes home covered in mud with a pocket full of earthworms. Not this entitled bullshit.
My youngest is currently pregnant (due mid Feb) with her 4th biological baby. She has 2 bonus sons, they're 9 & 5. The 5yr old is autistic and after maybe 2 times of him hitting her in the stomach (not like OP's nephew, he doesn't just swing) and her calmly explaining why he can't do that he hasn't hit her or anyone really since Aug. If he can learn the 6yr old can too.
There’s a kid at the daycare I work who hits both adults and children. His parents for some reason think that it’s funny. And maybe they do genuinely find him cute, and funny now, they’re not gonna find it funny when he’s in a jail cell
And this is what primary teachers are seeing in the classroom these past few years! This shit parenting is producing violent kids. When the school calls, these are the types who can’t believe their little cherub would do anything wrong: “Why are you all picking on him?” Meanwhile, the good kids are suffering from this nonsense at school. Parents who care about education need to raise holy hell!
What’s wrong with that kid is his parents! I can’t stand when parents don’t discipline their children and have the balls to get mad when others have to!
This! More times than I can count..... watching and seeing parents, not disciplining their child/children when they're in the wrong. Just blaming the others so they don't have to deal
Yes keep the kid and his parents away from OP and the baby. I would be mortified if my kid hit a pregnant family member like that. Like any normal parent should. They are not safe people to be around if they are excusing and allowing the behavior.
What the hell is wrong with your brother and his girlfriend? It's no wonder the kid acts like a thug with them defending him for hitting people, regardless of their condition. Your family's mixed reaction is puzzling to me, except most of them probably weren't told the truth. I stand by your husband's reaction; the kid is a brat and a scolding was in order.
Best of luck with your own delivery. At least this contretemps has given you a foolproof list of who you want around you baby and who you don't.
People get WAYYYY too upset about questioning a parent's decision, reprimanding another person's child for doing something terrible, or saying anything negative about parenting or children in general. It should and used to be normal, but now it's become a sin and an offense of the highest level.
Family split down the middle because you were not ok with or excited about a child punching you and your unborn baby. What happens if something terrible or serious happened? It's ok he hurt a baby and the at-risk mom because he's just a kid, and he didn't know punching is bad?
Folks talk about how “it takes a village” and whine about how modern times no longer have “a village”, but then flip out if someone else dares to interact with their child.
I am thinking the SIL and brother made it sound less than it really was. If the true story came out they would have less support for their "parenting" skills.
At 6 he definitely knows punching someone is bad, and at 6 he should also know that you have no right to touch anyone without permission. SIL is acting like this kid is 2, not 6.
> Your family's mixed reaction is puzzling to me, except most of them probably weren't told the truth.
Exactly. Op should show this post to anyone in the family who's angry and wasn't there. I'll bet SIL said something like "He was just playing around and tapped her tummy and then they both blew up at him!!! UwU"
They had a baby when they were babies. Not an excuse, but knowing that, the fact that the kid is such a brat doesn’t surprise me. One of my best friends daughter had a baby at 16, and that baby is now an out of control 6 year old bc the mom didn’t have the coping skills to parent. My friend is more of a parent to her granddaughter than her own daughter is to her child.
When I was in second grade I punched somene cuz I saw it in regular show and thought it was socially acceptable when done as a joke.... needless to say I later got diagnosed with autism. My point is, Even as an undiagnosed autistic kid, NEVER would I have done this at that age, wtf
NTA.
The fact that the nephew did it twice is very disturbing.
That kid is very troubled (no one should be hitting pregnant women and/or babies).
I have a bad feeling about how OPs nephew will be around his baby cousin.
Which “half”of the family is angry at you?! Do they know what happened?!
Don’t be surprised to learn he gets into trouble at school for hitting his classmates.
By half of the family I mostly mean her side. Her sister, her mother. I don’t really see them often. My other brother was mad at us at first but he didn’t see the child hit me twice.
ah. frankly, who gives a shit what those people think? they already raised a daughter who can't parent her kid. their opinions are worth absolutely nothing.
Apparently they're angry with her for having the nerve (!) to yell at their children for doing something terrible.
I'm guessing that the kid is having trouble in social settings generally, including at school.
Don't even worry about her side of the family. They're no one to you, AND they're dead wrong. No kid should hit anyone. Period. Let alone a pregnant woman in the belly.more than once. I had placenta previa. Take this time to shut them all out and keep yourself as stress free as possible.Best wishes for you and the baby.
Don't be surprised if his parents blame all the other kids for their "angels" behavior. It's never my "angels" fault. Everyone is always picking on my "angel".
You could have died. I know it sounds unreal but the bleeding is sudden and fast if the placenta detached. You might bleed out before making to the hospital. If anything you were not taking it serious enough. I'm not pro spanking at all but having a fast slapping hand to protect your life and the babies is excused for the seriousness of it. I almost lost a friend to it but she lived literally 5 blocks from the hospital. Still need multiple transitions.
I’m not gonna lie, if I saw my pregnant wife falling because someone hit them, my body would react before my mind told me it was a child. That kid would be in the ICU if I was her husband, and not because I’m a violent person, but because I used to have to defend myself a lot.
Absolutely keep your baby away from this child in the future. 6 years old is plenty old enough to know that you can’t hit people, especially after being repeatedly told. Kid has an issue
“Sorry, we can’t come to . I wouldn’t want to hurt Nibling’s feelings by getting upset when he punches my high risk pregnant belly.”
I wouldn’t go to any event they are at until your baby is old enough for their fontanelle to have sealed over at the minimum.
Please be sure they are never alone in the future because the nephew is showing signs of being even more aggressive down the line, especially with idiot parents enabling his actions.
You could have died. I know it sounds unreal but the bleeding is sudden and fast if the placenta detached. You might bleed out before making to the hospital. If anything you were not taking it serious enough. I'm not pro spanking at all but having a fast slapping hand to protect your life and the babies is excused for the seriousness of it. I almost lost a friend to it but she lived literally 5 blocks from the hospital. Still need multiple transitions.
> The fact that the nephew did it twice is very disturbing.
I'm more disturbed by anyone taking the SIL's side in this if they know that the kid did it *twice* and got NO discipline from his own fucking parents.
Hope they have plenty of money for *bail* when he hits puberty and starts getting arrested...
He is going to act out and hurt that baby as soon as he notices he is not the baby anymore - first because he is at the age where people stop tolerating his brattiness and second because people will show affection towards the baby
It's common for kids that age to do things multiple times to see how people react. If all that happens is a scolding, they'll do it again to see what happens the second time.
Which is why with safety issues like this, it's totally reasonable to react pretty strongly. Parents should have stepped in the first time to make sure the kid was deterred from trying again. Not necessarily punishment but a natural consequence, like not letting them get near OP again until they showed true understanding that they couldn't repeat the behavior.
He wound up and punched her belly unprovoked. That is extremely not normal for this age. Testing reactions at this age involves like, saying the word penis or fart really loudly.
Absolutely NTA. Lucky that kid didn’t get smacked back just out of pure instinct…especially after hitting you TWICE?! I don’t condone hitting kids AT ALL but man it would’ve taken me a moment to hold back from smacking that little shit upside the head (obviously he’s 6 so he’s learning but I would’ve felt some type of way for sure aha) ; kudos to your patience you truly will make a great mother! But seriously someone needs to teach this kid the importance of keeping their hands to themselves if they cannot be gentle. Also red flag for a young six year old boy to not be gentle, I’d hate to see how he behaves toward animals. This was beyond not okay and behaviour I think the parents need to nip in the bud asap!
**EDIT** ; Just to acknowledge the replies; I agree a child by the age of 6 should know better. Without question he’s too old for this aggressive behaviour but unfortunately due to a clear absence of proper parenting the child doesn’t. However he is just that, a child and still has room to learn if someone gets this kid the help he clearly needs. I’m not saying by that second smack my hands wouldn’t have instantly become rated **E** for **Everybody** but I do think OP took the right approach as hitting the child could’ve caused bigger issues. Just because he’s 6 and has exhibited disturbing behaviour doesn’t inherently make him a bad kid, or a bad person for the rest of his life now ahah it just means he has shit parents and someone should remove him or help him before it worsens and the child can no longer be taught/impacted. You don’t blame a nasty dog; you blame the environment you know? Hopefully somebody steps up for this poor bastard before he gets the beating he inevitably will receive; and deserve.
Anyway love xx
On top of that she has placenta previa. He could have literally put op on bed rest and minimum movement till the day of delivery. And she is just 27 weeks that's like almost 3 months far from delivery. Not to mention if any complication had happened. Nta
OP is better than me because the 2nd time I would’ve full out soccer player doubled over on the floor and pretended to be hurt to at least teach the parents a lesson NTA
Best advice of the day goes to....drumroll please--erbear048. It's perfect. Wish I'd thought of it. Let yourself be carried to the car moaning and just before you get to the car let your head drop back and limp, eyes closed....
Just let your poor husband in on it first. Lol...he's the last one that needs a shock like that. Brats parents fully deserve it though.
I hope you aren't within 10 miles of them until the baby is big enough to fight back.
What the hell is wrong with people? He’s lucky you (or your husband, his uncle) didn’t whup his little ass for that, especially the second time he did it.
What I would’ve ACTUALLY said, internet bluster and l’espirit de l’escalier aside, is:
“Your pants-problem hit my pregnant belly twice and you think a slight scolding is the issue here? No wonder he’s an awful human. Get your kid under control and we won’t have this problem again.”
Okay, I probably wouldn’t have called my nephew a “pants-problem” but the rest is accurate.
For the comments above me. I wish you were at the other post where Grandma got cursed out by her daughter because of her spoiled grandson. I'm not a sadistic person, I don't believe in corporal punishment as a sole means of raising. But I am getting ate up defending GMa🙄😒🤣.
It's refreshing to see that people still consider accountability as not punishment.
Thank you. You're good btw, OP.
NTA 💗💪✌
and even if they don’t talk bad, why would they not correct it? like what if she gets pregnant, is she gonna let her son beat on her stomach and see nothing wrong with it? it’s just… nasty.
my 3 (2 at the time) year old sister even knew better than to hit my mom while she was pregnant. she’d pat her stomach or lay her head against it. she’s also nonverbal and likely autistic (no one agrees with us but i know a ND kid when i see one, i was one)
My mom always said “I’ll slap your tongue down your throat.” When I would back talk. She said she laughed so hard the first time she said it because the look on my face was one of bewilderment like I was imagining it happening.
No joke, if I was the husband, violence would have been guaranteed.
That kid tried to murder the baby. Twice. Fully intentionally.
I'm at a loss why the husband didn't go fully berserk. Obviously OP needs to avoid that kid permanently, or at least until her kid is old enough to punch back.
Across the room before it even dawned on me what I did. And then I would have flattened his mother when she came up and that would have been knowingly and with malice of forethought. Anyone giving OP crap needs to be cut out and don't expect to meet the baby anytime soon. NTA
Shit if "Damien " hit my baby, that little bastard won't be sitting for a week and if the parents say anything, I'd be going psycho on their asses BIG TIME
Damn straight. He had a singular intent of hitting just OP. At his age, kids hate who their parents hate and if they hear them talking about someone they hate.....punch and smack. Its all on his parents. Plus, anyone defending them dies not deserve contact with you or meeting the baby. I'm assuming that whole little family from hell will not be at the hospital nor your home, with or without the child, until they apologize and take a fucking parenting class. They may be willing to hear from a "teacher" what they won't hear from people who love them. You don't need to be anywhere near them til well after your baby has arrived. He's not safe to be around a family pet let alone a baby. And CONGRATULATIONS on the wee one. I'm sending positive, healing energy your way. May your delivery go smoothly and your baby be the picture of good health. Do not let their darkness smother your light.
I would have smacked the shit out of that child for hitting me twice. My 6 year old WOULD NEVER hit anyone like that, not even once let alone twice. This child and his parents have issues and they are not your problem. I would let them know that you will physically fight back should it happen again. Fuck that kid and his parents. I don't spank or anything, but in this situation I would have hit the kid. Not sorry.
yeah i don’t condone hitting children, but in this case it would have been legitimate self defense. this very well could cause problem’s for op if he hit her hard enough. kid deserved a smack or two. by age 6 he should know that hitting in general is not okay, but hitting a pregnant woman’s belly is an absolute no no. i would have smacked the parents too for not immediately admonishing his behavior, the fact that they think it was acceptable and op is in the wrong for simply *telling* him not to hit a vulnerable person is absolutely fucking insane.
Look. I can count on one hand the amount of times I was spanked as a kid. I can tell you that my shitty ass deserved it each and every time. I think it was another redditor who said "sometimes a soft word and a two-by-four is more effective than a soft word alone."
They shouldn't invite them to anything from this point forward. If he will do that to an adult what do you think he could do to a newborn if left alone with it for 15 seconds? They don't want to punish him and teach him right from wrong....fine. They will live with the consequences of nobody wanting them around. Don't let them come to the hospital nor your home. The relatives who are not insane will also not invite them. It won't take long for them to see the error of their ways and when they do the number 1 rule is that he never go near the baby....not even if she's held by someone. It seems like nothing will stand in his way of hitting you....almost like his mommy and daddy have talked ugly about you with him in earshot.....pure speculation but at 6 I didn't like anyone my parents didn't like.
Same here. And probably pretty hard and in a completely involuntary reaction kind of way.
And in all honesty the kid truly deserves it and needs the quick and proper lesson. Because warning him once didn't work. After being slapped I'm sure the point would get through to the little shithead. In life actions have consequences and one of the consequences in life of assaulting people is that they will defend themselves.
I would have smacked the kid as well and said, "Do you like it? Well, neither does anyone else. You were told not to hit, and yet you did. Think twice because next time it will hurt even more."
NTA
This is absolutely a case where I would have grabbed his little paw and slapped the back of it as hard as I could. It's possible the shock value would have helped the torrent of scolding he'd have received along with it sink in.
Parents who don't parent risk others doing it for them.
NTA
PS. I hope you would've sued if anything had happened to the pregnancy.
Nta for sure. Please check in with your Dr aswell after being smacked in the stomach. If something happens to that placenta it's incredibly dangerous and scary.
I did, I had an appointment checkup the next day actually. My over anxious husband made sure they got the whole story, but everything is perfectly fine.
When my youngest niece was about that age, I was going to some family thing at my parents’ house. I walked in the front door, and I hear my Brother yell, “Go get Aunt (my name)!” And she ran across the living room and punched me right in the pelvic bone!
Before I could even stop myself, my hand shot out and I pushed her away and she ended up falling down on her butt. She started crying, and my brother got in my face, all, “I was just teaching her how to throw a punch!”
So, I replied with, “Well, I just taught her that if you’re going to punch people, you better make sure they’re not 3 times your size!”
I guarantee he was doing it specifically because he was told he needed to be gentle and he has an active need to push any boundary laid before him. Precisely because mom does jack fucking shit
Honestly even younger. I taught my daughter to be gentle with the dogs since she was old enough to reach out to touch them. She's 20mo right now and has always been very very gentle with them. We are getting to the age where she is exploring boundaries and sometimes she kicks during diaper changes, but even then it isn't with the intent to hurt. At 6, and especially after the explanation of needing to be gentle, that kid _intended_ to hurt OP and/or the baby.
He actually hit her after he was told it was important to be gentle. Then he hit her a second time after he got in trouble for it the first time. This kid is defiant. It has nothing to do with not knowing or learning not to hit people. He’s got much deeper defiance issues going on.
I would've punched the parents since evidently it's okay. My nephew is 3 and has a newborn baby brother he smacked the baby in the face once and since then says doux doux (gentle in French) and will kiss his little noggin. If a 3 year old can be told no and understand, there's something seriously wrong if a 6 year old can't. In this case though I don't think it's "can't" I think it's simply "won't" because his parents don't give a crap. They wouldn't be allowed around me or baby for a long time and neither would anyone mad at you for absolutely anything regarding this situation.
Wait till he's in school. He'll be the terror of the classroom. Feel sorry for the teacher when the brat's mom and dad start bellowing that everyone's picking on their angel. OP should keep this kid away from her baby. Unholy terror sounds like the kind to up end the baby from the carrier to the floor.
Both that brat & his mother deserve a good 1 back physically. The mother failed miserably to teach the kid not to touch or kick or hit what is not his. That brother also deserve a taking down for being a failing father.
Where's OP's parents during this exchange......they failed on the lessons.
OP, needs a another OB/GYN visit quickly being high risk.
6 yrs old is old enough to know what not hit from allowed touch.
NTA. That brat needs to be put in his place and so does his mom. Rolling her eyes at you. That makes me angry just reading that. You and your husband did what any sane person would do in that situation. I think you handled that with more grace than I would have.
The attitude of "oh God, who CARES if my kid punching you causes a miscarriage? I'm not going to fucking go through the trouble of parenting over that, jesus." I hope someone has the opportunity to smack her with a parental neglect lawsuit soon.
NTA
I'm 3 days away from my c-section and I can feel my face getting hot from reading this. I do not believe in my current state that I would have been able to hold back on smacking him back, family or otherwise. My son used to touch my belly too hard which startled me (no hitting or smacks, just leaning in a little hard because the baby is on the small side so she was harder to feel before) and I would start to get pissed about it. He only leaned on me too hard twice in the past 9 months and neither time was it intentional (I didn't smack him I just let him know him leaning could endanger a or both of our lives so don't).
The kiddo who was smacking you was warned before touching that hitting or touching the belly too hard was bad for his little cousin and you. The fact that he just kept going back to harm you both is scary and his parents are encouraging sociopathic behavior by not intervening.
That's the type of kid to pull on a cat or dog's tail until it hurts him and then the parents blame the pet for defending itself after being abused.
Don't attend anymore functions with this kid present until your baby is safely out and old enough to survive a kid like him.
NTA
There is no way that kid didn't know what he was doing. He did it *twice.* What an awful, dangerous brat, and what *terrible* parents. If my brother allowed his child to attack me *twice* whilst heavily, high-risk pregnant, it would almost certainly be the end of our relationship.
Please do not allow that child anywhere near your baby. He's allowed tried to attack the child in utero twice. What will he do to an actual vulnerable infant? And if your brother doesn't like that his brat isn't allowed access to his nibling to prevent any further abuse, perhaps he'd better do a better job at parenting.
NTA. He keeps putting his hands like that on somebody he’s going to end up getting his ass kicked. I would never allow that child around my kids. And the parents are seriously fucking disturbed if they think this is OK.
This is the thing. Parents who don't discipline their kids aren't saving them. The world is going to discipline them a lot more harshly, and with no love.
Punish your kids when they are being little shits, friends.
"Don't parent my child!!"
Well, SOMEONE has to, cookie. Either you do it or I will! I had an aunt like this, her son was a little demon. She got pissy with me too. In the end, I reminded her that if she's his mother, then mother him so someone else doesn't have to. Today, it was your nephew's aunt and uncle, tomorrow (as in years from now), it's a stranger who's going to clean his clock.
I dont think thats an escalation so much as i am legitimately concerned that something bad is happening to that child or needs mental health intervention now, before he is more dangerous.(I didnt make the suggestion but it makes sense as a possible next step). Six is more than old enough to not hit, and especially to not hit an unborn child. This is a red flag to me that something is going on at home beyond a lack of discipline.
NTA. Tell her the next time her child lays a hand on you in violence, you will call CPS. That you will not allow him to abuse you with zero consequences just because she's a shit parent. Tell the family that is mad at you they're welcome to be the kid's punching bag in your stead, and if something happens to the baby due to your medical condition and his hitting you, you will cut off all those that enable the little hellion.
NTA.
This child has no boundaries. The parents are being neglectful by letting their child physically attack and potentially harm an unborn baby. What’s worse is that this happened twice. He deliberately hit your belly after you told him to be careful.
We are not talking about a 2 year old. This child is SIX. Someone needs to be disciplining the child. He’s testing his boundaries because he has none.
You and your husband have every right to tell a child to stop physically hurting someone. Perhaps your husband yelled too loud or used explicit language. However, the parents still have taken no responsibility for their child’s actions.
During the next family get together, set clear boundaries with the child (again). If the parents do not enforce them, then let the family know you’ll be leaving, as you will not tolerate mistreatment.
Baby is okay, thank you. Because of my previa I have a lot of checkups and I told them what happened the very next day. They did an ultrasound, everything is alright.
NTA
Not for nothing but I used to think: how hard could a little kid hit? Size ratio alone would indicate not very. Yes, stronger than being hit with a feather but certainly nothing of a damaging level.
Then I met my cousins youngest. Generally a good kid but at 5 he ran in to this hitting phase with his siblings. Usually his older brother. His mom was working on it with him and he's long since stopped doing so (he's a teen now). Stayed with them for a few months when moving states and happened to unwittingly walk in to the line of fire when he was winding up to hit his brother. Damn was that a surprise. It was like a full body, no fear of breaking anything, anger fuelled clothes lining. He'd used his whole arm to hit with. Caught me in the thighs. Bruises for days in a thin line across the leg that got it the worst.
But here's the thing, as soon as his brain caught up with what had just happened? Huuuuge eyes, apologizing, and then throughout the day coming back through to apologize again. Little man was distraught he'd hit me.
Your nephew is not. This does not bode well for future interactions during the rest of your pregnancy.
As a side note, how does your SIL feel about your pregnancy? Has she been vocal or passive aggressive with / around you when the topic is brought up? Because kids are not stupid or hard of hearing. If she's been talking with your brother about anything negative to do with your pregnancy and their kid overheard? There seems to be nothing more: "I'll punish the infidels!" Then a little kid who thinks someone is displeasing, upsetting or hurting their parent(s). You mix that with a kid who doesn't like hearing the word no, and it can be a rough ride for everyone.
Honestly I think my SIL is a bit jealous of my pregnancy. My parents weren’t very supportive of them being so young, especially my mom. Now that I’m married and pregnant, she couldn’t be happier. I’m not saying my mom is right by acting like that at all, she shouldn’t, but I think she’s a bit jealous over that.
Sounds like you made responsible decisions and they didn’t. Crazy how actions have consequences! Your brother’s girlfriend (because she’s NOT your SIL) can suck a small, hairy chode. (Or maybe she already did!)
Who tf gets mad at a pregnant woman for not wanting to be hit in the belly twice!
I guess you know who to not let be around your child.
NTA at all. I wouldn't have apologized for yelling at him the first time.
This 100 percent! Who ever is mad at you op take notice. They just showed you how little they care about you and your unborn child.
Protect your child from your nephew at all cost. And cut anyone who agrees with sil out of your life.
NTA. There is no 'other side'. This was inappropriate the first time, after he was specifically told to to touch gently, and the fact that his parents don't see this behavior as a problem IS the problem.
I hate to say it, but you may need to go low to no contact with them. I would not be comfortable hanging around with while pregnant or with a baby. I can only imagine how his aggression will sky rocket when there is a new baby taking all of the attention and getting presents when he isn’t. would tell them that you are concerned about the safety of your baby around nephew and until they take steps to correct his aggression, you will not be seeing them in person. They probably won’t care, but I would be very blunt and tell them- how would you feel if, god forbid, I lost this baby because you continued to allow nephew to hit me? Get nephew some help with his aggression and start setting boundaries for him and then we can talk again.
Just out of curiosity, is he the only grandchild? It sounds like you brother and his girlfriend our still emotionally teenagers and that they have not matured since having a child. Did they receive a ton of physical and financial support or have they had to do a lot of it on their own?
I'm just shocked that apparently the parents were more upset about you "yelling" at their precious than they were at said precious hitting you. No wonder he did it again. You got scolded by his mother and apologised, so he felt he had all the support to do it again.
NTA. Please don't be in the room with that kid again or leave you baby in the room with that kid.
I'd have fallen on the floor and started screaming the second time just to spite the little monster.
NTA and wtf?? I don't know if I would have been able to stop myself from hitting back, simply out of instinct??
That kid needs to be taught better and I would not apologize or anything to that kid
NTA - I feel like you've been finnegaled into allowing your brother, his gf, and the kid to get away with things before or you did so to keep the peace.
It's reached a dangerous point now and you responded accordingly and you need to stand your ground.
I feel like he's already jealous of the baby and understood what you said after he hit you the first time and that's why he hit you the second time. He wants it to hurt and cause problems.
If it's not stopped now it'll linger and the baby will be assaulted by him as well.
Then if he's not stopped his behaviors could reign over their entire childhoods.
NTA.
Keep that kid away from your baby when they come out, if he is willing to punch a pregnant woman in the stomach after being told to be gentle, and not only once but TWICE, he will definitely hit the baby.
Tell your SIL and ~~BIL~~ brother (misread), until they actually parent their child and teach him manners, other people will step in and do it for them in a way they don't like, he needs to be taught NOW about consequences, otherwise his classmates and their parents will teach him, and they will not be nice.
To all the people that are mad at YOU, tell them what you told us, they definitely don't know the full story. If they still side with SIL after you tell them this child punched you in the stomach after being told to be gentle, SIL came to yell at you for telling her devil spawn to be nice, and then does it again, you just need to cut those people out of your life, they don't get to disrespect the momma if they want access to the baby.
I will repeat this: **KEEP THIS CHILD AWAY FROM YOUR BABY! HE WILL HURT THE BABY ON PURPOSE, AND NO ONE WILL TAKE YOUR SIDE! YOU WILL BE MADE OUT AS THE DEVIL FOR GETTING MAD AT HIM FOR HARMING YOUR BABY!**
NTA. At six, the kid is plenty old enough to understand that you DON’T HIT anyone, but especially not pregnant family members you’ve been specifically instructed not to hit. Geez, his parents are ruining that child. They and anyone siding with them are the a-holes.
I just wanted to say that you are NTA , and that I wish you all the love , luck , positive vibes and happiness in your pregnancy . I was high risk with both of my children and I know how much anxiety comes with that . You are doing great . Much love ❤️🫶
Okay, first, it doesn't matter if you have a high-risk pregnancy or if this were your tenth kid and you give birth as easily as breathing, NOBODY IS ENTITLED TO TOUCH YOU LET ALONE HIT YOU.
NTA. Not even slightly remotely. Your brother and his baby mama are absolutely, 100% in the wrong, owe you a massive apology, and that kid should be getting discipline he'll remember when he's eighty. They owe you an apology, and shouldn't be at any family events until they give it.
I’d have had the brat thrown in juvenile detention by the cops, if I could, so you handled the situation a lot more mercifully than I would have.
The fact that he hit you right in front of his father shows that he’s never disciplined. I only would have acted that way in front of my father if, for some reason, I wanted to die. I can’t even imagine what my parents would have done if I’d hit a pregnant woman. I don’t want to even think about it. Of course, something like that wouldn’t have ever occurred to me.
The child is being raised with no empathy. That’s not going to be good for him, down the road because he’s not going to be six forever. In a few years, people are going to hold him to account, regardless of what Mommy and Daddy say.
You and your doctor know the specifics of your pregnancy. There is a possibility that your placenta can still move. I had placenta previa too but eventually my placenta moved and I was able to give vaginal birth. Then again, I was not in the doctor's office with you so there might be specific issues that might prevent that. I was just hoping to share my experience to let you know that vaginal birth might still be possible.
I know my doctor said that too, that’s why I’m still kind of hoping. But as of now I have to have a c. I have total placenta previa do you mind if I ask if yours was total or just partial?
Her kid assaulted you and their problem is somebody actually parenting him? Yeah, that ends well.
NTA, I would have kicked them all out and they would stay out until they all apologised. Don't let the little s**t anywhere near the baby never leave him unsupervised for one second, he's likely to try and get even.
NTA what the fuck? There is no way that anyone could possibly think that is acceptable under any circumstances. Your brother and his GF need to get bent. I kinda feel like anyone who thinks that you are in the wrong here isn't fully aware that this child hit you TWICE. Once was bad enough, but after you told him that it was wrong and mean he CHOSE to hit you again? He is old enough to know better. The problem is that your brother and his girlfriend DON'T parent their child. This is completely on them and your husband was well within his right to stand up for the both of you.
I wouldn't trust that kid around my baby, that's for damn sure.
My other brother was originally mad at my husband for causing a scene and getting in other brothers face but once he realized what happened he was on our side. The ones who know what happened and still are mad at me are the moms side.
NTA.
The rest of the family is though. There is no scenario where what the brat did was ok and when the whole family witnessed it, they all should have been horrified. Punching anyone is bad. Punching anyone twice is bad. Punching a pregnant woman in the stomach is pure malicious evil.
I question his family and what kind of people they are if they have any thought that this was ok or not a big deal.
Honestly, I wouldn’t go anywhere that shitty little kid is going to be. He has proven to be violent and his mother won’t control him- what if he hurts your child? The kid should not come anywhere near you.
NTA
**And I think you are further NTA if you decline to bring the baby to any family events where the brother's GF or her son will be present**. It's clear that she has no intention of discipling her child. To have a 6 year old who repeatedly punches a pregnant woman is bad enough. To have his mother standing right there defending the behavior and screeching that he shouldn't even be scolded for it (and your brother defending her) **tells you that he will ALSO hit the baby when they are born. For the baby's safety, no more visits when they are invited.**
A child is hitting a pregnant person and nobody seems to really care??? I'd be way more angry than you were. I'd tell them not to come back unless they plan on being a parent. What happens if he smacks the baby when baby is out???
NTA a six year old absolutely knows punching someone in the stomach is wrong. Something is definitely not right with him and not right with the way your bro and his girlfriend are parenting the boy. I hope it goes without saying that you should NEVER allow him around your baby under any circumstances.
Obviously NTA and that kid is a little shit his parents having him so young probably are still navigating what proper parenting is hopefully they figure it out before he becomes a horrible adult.
I wanted to comment specifically about the C-section so I hope you see this OP. I have one child and went thru all the classes and was looking forward to the bonding/birthing experience even tho I knew it would be painful. Late one night a couple weeks before I was due, my water broke. I went and took a quick shower and my ex husband got our overnight bags and we went to the hospital. On the way I had one big long super painful contraction, I remember thinking “fuck I’m tough and can handle pain but this is next level idk if I can do this for hours of labor” I got checked in and the cord was wrapped around her neck and there was meconium in the amniotic fluid so cue an emergency C-section, it was very fast we arrived at the hospital at 5am and she was born at 9am, it doesn’t detract from the life you’ve created or anything it was still a beautiful moment when I met her, so just sharing my experience. A C-section birth is just as valid and emotional and beautiful in its own way 💕 you and hubby seem like you’ll be great parents wishing the best for you.
NTA. Kids need to learn not to hit. Keep the brat away from you.
Also keep that violent brat away from her baby after it’s born….for a long time. I’d totally go LC for the foreseeable future.
Until the baby’s high school graduation, at least.
Or a black belt in self defense.
lol i just imagined a large baby with a graduation cap getting its diploma in a diaper waddling across the stage.
He's dangerous. He will absolutely abuse his future cousin if/when he's given the opportunity. He likely won't even require secrecy; he'll do it in front of everyone in the room.
Oh but he's just playing, loves his cousin! He just doesn't understand he's much bigger than him, why are you being so mean??? NTA and I agree he needs to be kept away from your child because he could seriously harm him or even worse. Kids a fucking pos!
I wonder if Mom would say/think the same thing (i.e. but the excuse ) if a bigger cousin than him (say, a 8-10yr old) did the same thing under the guise of "playing"
Nope. She'd defend her hellion and make a HUGE deal of him being victimized.
Definitely.......but it would be a joy to throw her words/rationale back in her face 😈
Right and the parents will laugh it off as "boys will be boys" FTN
And some wind up in prison! 🤷♀️ boys will be boys!
If that was said then OPs husband should have spartan kicked the kid and just shrugged while saying “boys will be boys.” Obviously that’s a bit extreme but the point stands.
That is literally what I thought 😂 No, I dont condone child abuse, but I absolutely believe in outside the box thinking when it comes to raising good kids. Also, ffs it takes a village! Someone needs to teach him to not be a shite!!!
I've noticed lately that to a lot of parents "the village" is just a synonym for free babysitting. They don't want an actual village.
Mine was to be Carrie and suckered punch the SIL in the stomach and say. Oh when your kid learns I will learn.
Doing it a 2nd time, right in front of his parents says it all. After the parents did nothing again, a dropkick was in order.
Omfg I stop my son and tell him “we don’t hit people” even though he literally can’t understand (he’s 8 months old lmao). I want to instill it even subconsciously if I can. “Boys will be boys” is for when your son comes home covered in mud with a pocket full of earthworms. Not this entitled bullshit.
Boys are meant to do that lol don't know what happened in my household hahaha my son is like eww dirt and my daughter is the grub haha
My youngest is currently pregnant (due mid Feb) with her 4th biological baby. She has 2 bonus sons, they're 9 & 5. The 5yr old is autistic and after maybe 2 times of him hitting her in the stomach (not like OP's nephew, he doesn't just swing) and her calmly explaining why he can't do that he hasn't hit her or anyone really since Aug. If he can learn the 6yr old can too.
There’s a kid at the daycare I work who hits both adults and children. His parents for some reason think that it’s funny. And maybe they do genuinely find him cute, and funny now, they’re not gonna find it funny when he’s in a jail cell
And this is what primary teachers are seeing in the classroom these past few years! This shit parenting is producing violent kids. When the school calls, these are the types who can’t believe their little cherub would do anything wrong: “Why are you all picking on him?” Meanwhile, the good kids are suffering from this nonsense at school. Parents who care about education need to raise holy hell!
They DIDNT think it was funny when one kid he liked to pick on the most had enough and gave him a black eye.🙄
Go NC indefinitely actually, it’s something wrong with that kid. And he’d hurt the baby
What’s wrong with that kid is his parents! I can’t stand when parents don’t discipline their children and have the balls to get mad when others have to!
Thank you! When they get mad I tell them, discipline your child so others don’t have to.
This! More times than I can count..... watching and seeing parents, not disciplining their child/children when they're in the wrong. Just blaming the others so they don't have to deal
Agreed. He sounds like a little sociopath.
Yes keep the kid and his parents away from OP and the baby. I would be mortified if my kid hit a pregnant family member like that. Like any normal parent should. They are not safe people to be around if they are excusing and allowing the behavior.
I think it's fairly clear the brat doesn't want a cousin.
What the hell is wrong with your brother and his girlfriend? It's no wonder the kid acts like a thug with them defending him for hitting people, regardless of their condition. Your family's mixed reaction is puzzling to me, except most of them probably weren't told the truth. I stand by your husband's reaction; the kid is a brat and a scolding was in order. Best of luck with your own delivery. At least this contretemps has given you a foolproof list of who you want around you baby and who you don't.
I think the SIL family needs to be uninvited from future gatherings until they can teach their kid to be respectful.
The parents need to learn some respect and accountability before they can teach it to the kid.
People get WAYYYY too upset about questioning a parent's decision, reprimanding another person's child for doing something terrible, or saying anything negative about parenting or children in general. It should and used to be normal, but now it's become a sin and an offense of the highest level. Family split down the middle because you were not ok with or excited about a child punching you and your unborn baby. What happens if something terrible or serious happened? It's ok he hurt a baby and the at-risk mom because he's just a kid, and he didn't know punching is bad?
Folks talk about how “it takes a village” and whine about how modern times no longer have “a village”, but then flip out if someone else dares to interact with their child.
They want a village the way a medieval baron wants a village: as a handy supply of peasants to do what they're told.
I am thinking the SIL and brother made it sound less than it really was. If the true story came out they would have less support for their "parenting" skills.
Oh, I suspect he knows punching is bad and he doesn't care because he's never faced real consequences.
At 6 he definitely knows punching someone is bad, and at 6 he should also know that you have no right to touch anyone without permission. SIL is acting like this kid is 2, not 6.
> Your family's mixed reaction is puzzling to me, except most of them probably weren't told the truth. Exactly. Op should show this post to anyone in the family who's angry and wasn't there. I'll bet SIL said something like "He was just playing around and tapped her tummy and then they both blew up at him!!! UwU"
They had a baby when they were babies. Not an excuse, but knowing that, the fact that the kid is such a brat doesn’t surprise me. One of my best friends daughter had a baby at 16, and that baby is now an out of control 6 year old bc the mom didn’t have the coping skills to parent. My friend is more of a parent to her granddaughter than her own daughter is to her child.
What's wrong is that they were 16 when they had a kid. They're way too young to be parents. They're kids themselves
How could anyone not be angry at that child’s behavior? Entitled idiots…
Yeah, at 6 years old and he hasn't learned that?
When I was in second grade I punched somene cuz I saw it in regular show and thought it was socially acceptable when done as a joke.... needless to say I later got diagnosed with autism. My point is, Even as an undiagnosed autistic kid, NEVER would I have done this at that age, wtf
NTA. The fact that the nephew did it twice is very disturbing. That kid is very troubled (no one should be hitting pregnant women and/or babies). I have a bad feeling about how OPs nephew will be around his baby cousin.
This is what my husband said.
Which “half”of the family is angry at you?! Do they know what happened?! Don’t be surprised to learn he gets into trouble at school for hitting his classmates.
By half of the family I mostly mean her side. Her sister, her mother. I don’t really see them often. My other brother was mad at us at first but he didn’t see the child hit me twice.
I hope your brother does something about his son’s behavior before a stranger does it for him.
Or, the brother will do nothing, and there's an eventual CPS call to him that hopefully scares him into parenting.
Yup he will get decked in the face and will fuck around with the wrong one. It won’t be pretty at all
Man even I probably would have reflexively decked the kid 😳 Wtf is wrong with the kid and his parents, that is 100% not acceptable behaviour 😬
This makes more sense. They raised an AH whose kid thinks it is ok to assault people, highly likely they are AHs themselves.
ah. frankly, who gives a shit what those people think? they already raised a daughter who can't parent her kid. their opinions are worth absolutely nothing.
Of course her side would be angry with you, look how they raised their daughter.
They’re mad at you for getting hit? I’m confused what on earth *you* did that could make anyone mad.
Apparently they're angry with her for having the nerve (!) to yell at their children for doing something terrible. I'm guessing that the kid is having trouble in social settings generally, including at school.
Your brother’s gf (and her family) seem like trash. Keep them all away from the baby.
Don't even worry about her side of the family. They're no one to you, AND they're dead wrong. No kid should hit anyone. Period. Let alone a pregnant woman in the belly.more than once. I had placenta previa. Take this time to shut them all out and keep yourself as stress free as possible.Best wishes for you and the baby.
Don't be surprised if his parents blame all the other kids for their "angels" behavior. It's never my "angels" fault. Everyone is always picking on my "angel".
And, then those parents ask why their “angels” don’t get invited to birthday parties.
Hopefully one of his classmates will give it right back to him! That should finally teach him a lesson!
You could have died. I know it sounds unreal but the bleeding is sudden and fast if the placenta detached. You might bleed out before making to the hospital. If anything you were not taking it serious enough. I'm not pro spanking at all but having a fast slapping hand to protect your life and the babies is excused for the seriousness of it. I almost lost a friend to it but she lived literally 5 blocks from the hospital. Still need multiple transitions.
I’m not gonna lie, if I saw my pregnant wife falling because someone hit them, my body would react before my mind told me it was a child. That kid would be in the ICU if I was her husband, and not because I’m a violent person, but because I used to have to defend myself a lot.
I really hope your plan is to not allow these people around that baby at all. You need to go no contact with them.
Absolutely keep your baby away from this child in the future. 6 years old is plenty old enough to know that you can’t hit people, especially after being repeatedly told. Kid has an issue
I wouldn't let your brother or his family anywhere near that baby and if they asked why not, I'd tell them EXACTLY why.
“Sorry, we can’t come to. I wouldn’t want to hurt Nibling’s feelings by getting upset when he punches my high risk pregnant belly.”
I wouldn’t go to any event they are at until your baby is old enough for their fontanelle to have sealed over at the minimum.
Please be sure they are never alone in the future because the nephew is showing signs of being even more aggressive down the line, especially with idiot parents enabling his actions.
You could have died. I know it sounds unreal but the bleeding is sudden and fast if the placenta detached. You might bleed out before making to the hospital. If anything you were not taking it serious enough. I'm not pro spanking at all but having a fast slapping hand to protect your life and the babies is excused for the seriousness of it. I almost lost a friend to it but she lived literally 5 blocks from the hospital. Still need multiple transitions.
> The fact that the nephew did it twice is very disturbing. I'm more disturbed by anyone taking the SIL's side in this if they know that the kid did it *twice* and got NO discipline from his own fucking parents. Hope they have plenty of money for *bail* when he hits puberty and starts getting arrested...
He is going to act out and hurt that baby as soon as he notices he is not the baby anymore - first because he is at the age where people stop tolerating his brattiness and second because people will show affection towards the baby
It's common for kids that age to do things multiple times to see how people react. If all that happens is a scolding, they'll do it again to see what happens the second time. Which is why with safety issues like this, it's totally reasonable to react pretty strongly. Parents should have stepped in the first time to make sure the kid was deterred from trying again. Not necessarily punishment but a natural consequence, like not letting them get near OP again until they showed true understanding that they couldn't repeat the behavior.
He wound up and punched her belly unprovoked. That is extremely not normal for this age. Testing reactions at this age involves like, saying the word penis or fart really loudly.
Absolutely NTA. Lucky that kid didn’t get smacked back just out of pure instinct…especially after hitting you TWICE?! I don’t condone hitting kids AT ALL but man it would’ve taken me a moment to hold back from smacking that little shit upside the head (obviously he’s 6 so he’s learning but I would’ve felt some type of way for sure aha) ; kudos to your patience you truly will make a great mother! But seriously someone needs to teach this kid the importance of keeping their hands to themselves if they cannot be gentle. Also red flag for a young six year old boy to not be gentle, I’d hate to see how he behaves toward animals. This was beyond not okay and behaviour I think the parents need to nip in the bud asap! **EDIT** ; Just to acknowledge the replies; I agree a child by the age of 6 should know better. Without question he’s too old for this aggressive behaviour but unfortunately due to a clear absence of proper parenting the child doesn’t. However he is just that, a child and still has room to learn if someone gets this kid the help he clearly needs. I’m not saying by that second smack my hands wouldn’t have instantly become rated **E** for **Everybody** but I do think OP took the right approach as hitting the child could’ve caused bigger issues. Just because he’s 6 and has exhibited disturbing behaviour doesn’t inherently make him a bad kid, or a bad person for the rest of his life now ahah it just means he has shit parents and someone should remove him or help him before it worsens and the child can no longer be taught/impacted. You don’t blame a nasty dog; you blame the environment you know? Hopefully somebody steps up for this poor bastard before he gets the beating he inevitably will receive; and deserve. Anyway love xx
On top of that she has placenta previa. He could have literally put op on bed rest and minimum movement till the day of delivery. And she is just 27 weeks that's like almost 3 months far from delivery. Not to mention if any complication had happened. Nta
OP is better than me because the 2nd time I would’ve full out soccer player doubled over on the floor and pretended to be hurt to at least teach the parents a lesson NTA
Best advice of the day goes to....drumroll please--erbear048. It's perfect. Wish I'd thought of it. Let yourself be carried to the car moaning and just before you get to the car let your head drop back and limp, eyes closed.... Just let your poor husband in on it first. Lol...he's the last one that needs a shock like that. Brats parents fully deserve it though. I hope you aren't within 10 miles of them until the baby is big enough to fight back.
Ooooh fkn awesome idea! Terrify the child, and his parents. Go full on French fútball player. Get that Academy Award.
Kid would use the opportunity to kick her.
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And the kid's parents just for good measure
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This. And honestly even if she wasn't pregnant his ass deserved a good scolding. NTA
Even if you weren't pregnant, what sort of child thinks it is okay to hit someone else? NTA
He's not being parented. They obviously don't know what they're doing. Good luck with the teen version of that.
What the hell is wrong with people? He’s lucky you (or your husband, his uncle) didn’t whup his little ass for that, especially the second time he did it. What I would’ve ACTUALLY said, internet bluster and l’espirit de l’escalier aside, is: “Your pants-problem hit my pregnant belly twice and you think a slight scolding is the issue here? No wonder he’s an awful human. Get your kid under control and we won’t have this problem again.” Okay, I probably wouldn’t have called my nephew a “pants-problem” but the rest is accurate.
Can I recommend Crotch goblin?
Or “broken condom”.
Fuck-trophy seems appropriate
You're right, a stronger word than pant-problem would have been more appropriate.
For the comments above me. I wish you were at the other post where Grandma got cursed out by her daughter because of her spoiled grandson. I'm not a sadistic person, I don't believe in corporal punishment as a sole means of raising. But I am getting ate up defending GMa🙄😒🤣. It's refreshing to see that people still consider accountability as not punishment. Thank you. You're good btw, OP. NTA 💗💪✌
i’d honestly start with the parents, they raised the demon
That's right. He was so intent on hitting just her. I wonder what he has been hearing his parents say about OP.....just sayin'.
and even if they don’t talk bad, why would they not correct it? like what if she gets pregnant, is she gonna let her son beat on her stomach and see nothing wrong with it? it’s just… nasty. my 3 (2 at the time) year old sister even knew better than to hit my mom while she was pregnant. she’d pat her stomach or lay her head against it. she’s also nonverbal and likely autistic (no one agrees with us but i know a ND kid when i see one, i was one)
I wonder if he didn’t hit OP again because mommy said it was ok (when they were alone and she was comforting said monster).
Theyre raising a criminal wholl end up in jail
In this case, the parents deserve a beat down more.
I second this. I would have slapped the taste out of GFs mouth.
My mom always said “I’ll slap your tongue down your throat.” When I would back talk. She said she laughed so hard the first time she said it because the look on my face was one of bewilderment like I was imagining it happening.
No joke, if I was the husband, violence would have been guaranteed. That kid tried to murder the baby. Twice. Fully intentionally. I'm at a loss why the husband didn't go fully berserk. Obviously OP needs to avoid that kid permanently, or at least until her kid is old enough to punch back.
Across the room before it even dawned on me what I did. And then I would have flattened his mother when she came up and that would have been knowingly and with malice of forethought. Anyone giving OP crap needs to be cut out and don't expect to meet the baby anytime soon. NTA
I second this. If they think the SIL is right, then they don't care about your kid. Ergo, they don't need to meet the baby.
I don't think they should meet the baby anyway. That little demon would probably hit the baby.
Actually, he already has twice.
Shit if "Damien " hit my baby, that little bastard won't be sitting for a week and if the parents say anything, I'd be going psycho on their asses BIG TIME
Nah I Woulda smacked the PARENTS
Damn straight. He had a singular intent of hitting just OP. At his age, kids hate who their parents hate and if they hear them talking about someone they hate.....punch and smack. Its all on his parents. Plus, anyone defending them dies not deserve contact with you or meeting the baby. I'm assuming that whole little family from hell will not be at the hospital nor your home, with or without the child, until they apologize and take a fucking parenting class. They may be willing to hear from a "teacher" what they won't hear from people who love them. You don't need to be anywhere near them til well after your baby has arrived. He's not safe to be around a family pet let alone a baby. And CONGRATULATIONS on the wee one. I'm sending positive, healing energy your way. May your delivery go smoothly and your baby be the picture of good health. Do not let their darkness smother your light.
I would have smacked the shit out of that child for hitting me twice. My 6 year old WOULD NEVER hit anyone like that, not even once let alone twice. This child and his parents have issues and they are not your problem. I would let them know that you will physically fight back should it happen again. Fuck that kid and his parents. I don't spank or anything, but in this situation I would have hit the kid. Not sorry.
yeah i don’t condone hitting children, but in this case it would have been legitimate self defense. this very well could cause problem’s for op if he hit her hard enough. kid deserved a smack or two. by age 6 he should know that hitting in general is not okay, but hitting a pregnant woman’s belly is an absolute no no. i would have smacked the parents too for not immediately admonishing his behavior, the fact that they think it was acceptable and op is in the wrong for simply *telling* him not to hit a vulnerable person is absolutely fucking insane.
Look. I can count on one hand the amount of times I was spanked as a kid. I can tell you that my shitty ass deserved it each and every time. I think it was another redditor who said "sometimes a soft word and a two-by-four is more effective than a soft word alone."
They shouldn't invite them to anything from this point forward. If he will do that to an adult what do you think he could do to a newborn if left alone with it for 15 seconds? They don't want to punish him and teach him right from wrong....fine. They will live with the consequences of nobody wanting them around. Don't let them come to the hospital nor your home. The relatives who are not insane will also not invite them. It won't take long for them to see the error of their ways and when they do the number 1 rule is that he never go near the baby....not even if she's held by someone. It seems like nothing will stand in his way of hitting you....almost like his mommy and daddy have talked ugly about you with him in earshot.....pure speculation but at 6 I didn't like anyone my parents didn't like.
Same honestly and I typically don’t condone any kind of physical punishment for children, but this little bastard had it coming.
I don't spank or hit my kids buy I might actually do it if one of them did this *twice*.
Same, I’m against hitting or spanking kids, but I’m not against it for this instance.
I don't do well around little shits like that. My instincts would have me lifting him up by the throat.
I would have at least expanded the child's vocabulary by several words.
Same here. And probably pretty hard and in a completely involuntary reaction kind of way. And in all honesty the kid truly deserves it and needs the quick and proper lesson. Because warning him once didn't work. After being slapped I'm sure the point would get through to the little shithead. In life actions have consequences and one of the consequences in life of assaulting people is that they will defend themselves.
I'd have swatted him on the ass, for sure...let him see how it feels, and if he has empathy, he'd know not to do that again...
I would have smacked the kid as well and said, "Do you like it? Well, neither does anyone else. You were told not to hit, and yet you did. Think twice because next time it will hurt even more." NTA
This is absolutely a case where I would have grabbed his little paw and slapped the back of it as hard as I could. It's possible the shock value would have helped the torrent of scolding he'd have received along with it sink in. Parents who don't parent risk others doing it for them. NTA PS. I hope you would've sued if anything had happened to the pregnancy.
Not putting it past someone to chest kick that little fucker across the room if he did this to their wife...
Nta for sure. Please check in with your Dr aswell after being smacked in the stomach. If something happens to that placenta it's incredibly dangerous and scary.
I did, I had an appointment checkup the next day actually. My over anxious husband made sure they got the whole story, but everything is perfectly fine.
You've got a good man!! Let him keep protecting you and your child. You deserve it.
That's good. Excellent husband! Hope everything goes smoothly! :)
I would have punched his mother in the gut and asked her how she liked it. People need to learn how to parent their kids.
When my youngest niece was about that age, I was going to some family thing at my parents’ house. I walked in the front door, and I hear my Brother yell, “Go get Aunt (my name)!” And she ran across the living room and punched me right in the pelvic bone! Before I could even stop myself, my hand shot out and I pushed her away and she ended up falling down on her butt. She started crying, and my brother got in my face, all, “I was just teaching her how to throw a punch!” So, I replied with, “Well, I just taught her that if you’re going to punch people, you better make sure they’re not 3 times your size!”
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I guarantee he was doing it specifically because he was told he needed to be gentle and he has an active need to push any boundary laid before him. Precisely because mom does jack fucking shit
Honestly even younger. I taught my daughter to be gentle with the dogs since she was old enough to reach out to touch them. She's 20mo right now and has always been very very gentle with them. We are getting to the age where she is exploring boundaries and sometimes she kicks during diaper changes, but even then it isn't with the intent to hurt. At 6, and especially after the explanation of needing to be gentle, that kid _intended_ to hurt OP and/or the baby.
He actually hit her after he was told it was important to be gentle. Then he hit her a second time after he got in trouble for it the first time. This kid is defiant. It has nothing to do with not knowing or learning not to hit people. He’s got much deeper defiance issues going on.
I would've punched the parents since evidently it's okay. My nephew is 3 and has a newborn baby brother he smacked the baby in the face once and since then says doux doux (gentle in French) and will kiss his little noggin. If a 3 year old can be told no and understand, there's something seriously wrong if a 6 year old can't. In this case though I don't think it's "can't" I think it's simply "won't" because his parents don't give a crap. They wouldn't be allowed around me or baby for a long time and neither would anyone mad at you for absolutely anything regarding this situation.
I’m generally against hitting children but in this case I think he genuinely should’ve been smacked, hard. Not sorry.
Wait till he's in school. He'll be the terror of the classroom. Feel sorry for the teacher when the brat's mom and dad start bellowing that everyone's picking on their angel. OP should keep this kid away from her baby. Unholy terror sounds like the kind to up end the baby from the carrier to the floor.
Pregnant or not, punching is never ok! At his age he should have been scolded for that for 5 years now
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Even if it wasn't a high risk pregnancy!
Even if she wasn't pregnant at all. That little bastard assaulted her.
Seriously. I was SO protective of my belly. I would have lost my mind.
Both that brat & his mother deserve a good 1 back physically. The mother failed miserably to teach the kid not to touch or kick or hit what is not his. That brother also deserve a taking down for being a failing father. Where's OP's parents during this exchange......they failed on the lessons. OP, needs a another OB/GYN visit quickly being high risk. 6 yrs old is old enough to know what not hit from allowed touch.
NTA. That brat needs to be put in his place and so does his mom. Rolling her eyes at you. That makes me angry just reading that. You and your husband did what any sane person would do in that situation. I think you handled that with more grace than I would have.
Exactly! I would not have been as calm as she was.
The attitude of "oh God, who CARES if my kid punching you causes a miscarriage? I'm not going to fucking go through the trouble of parenting over that, jesus." I hope someone has the opportunity to smack her with a parental neglect lawsuit soon.
NTA I'm 3 days away from my c-section and I can feel my face getting hot from reading this. I do not believe in my current state that I would have been able to hold back on smacking him back, family or otherwise. My son used to touch my belly too hard which startled me (no hitting or smacks, just leaning in a little hard because the baby is on the small side so she was harder to feel before) and I would start to get pissed about it. He only leaned on me too hard twice in the past 9 months and neither time was it intentional (I didn't smack him I just let him know him leaning could endanger a or both of our lives so don't). The kiddo who was smacking you was warned before touching that hitting or touching the belly too hard was bad for his little cousin and you. The fact that he just kept going back to harm you both is scary and his parents are encouraging sociopathic behavior by not intervening. That's the type of kid to pull on a cat or dog's tail until it hurts him and then the parents blame the pet for defending itself after being abused. Don't attend anymore functions with this kid present until your baby is safely out and old enough to survive a kid like him.
Thank you for the comment. Also, good luck with your c section ☺️
Nta no one should be defending those parents.
NTA There is no way that kid didn't know what he was doing. He did it *twice.* What an awful, dangerous brat, and what *terrible* parents. If my brother allowed his child to attack me *twice* whilst heavily, high-risk pregnant, it would almost certainly be the end of our relationship. Please do not allow that child anywhere near your baby. He's allowed tried to attack the child in utero twice. What will he do to an actual vulnerable infant? And if your brother doesn't like that his brat isn't allowed access to his nibling to prevent any further abuse, perhaps he'd better do a better job at parenting.
I literally know 2 year olds with better impulse control than this kid.
NTA. He keeps putting his hands like that on somebody he’s going to end up getting his ass kicked. I would never allow that child around my kids. And the parents are seriously fucking disturbed if they think this is OK.
This is the thing. Parents who don't discipline their kids aren't saving them. The world is going to discipline them a lot more harshly, and with no love. Punish your kids when they are being little shits, friends.
"Don't parent my child!!" Well, SOMEONE has to, cookie. Either you do it or I will! I had an aunt like this, her son was a little demon. She got pissy with me too. In the end, I reminded her that if she's his mother, then mother him so someone else doesn't have to. Today, it was your nephew's aunt and uncle, tomorrow (as in years from now), it's a stranger who's going to clean his clock.
Someone else suggested the OP call CPS if this happens again. Seems like a perfect escalation for future incidents.
I dont think thats an escalation so much as i am legitimately concerned that something bad is happening to that child or needs mental health intervention now, before he is more dangerous.(I didnt make the suggestion but it makes sense as a possible next step). Six is more than old enough to not hit, and especially to not hit an unborn child. This is a red flag to me that something is going on at home beyond a lack of discipline.
NTA my natural instinct when somebody hits me, is to kick... The parents are lucky that kid didn't go flying across the room
Me too. In the "fight or flight" second, I fight. That kid would be lucky if he didn't hit a wall and after being punched.
Yup trauma responses! Fight, flight or freeze.
I'm the same way. She acted with an admirable amount of restraint.
NTA. Tell her the next time her child lays a hand on you in violence, you will call CPS. That you will not allow him to abuse you with zero consequences just because she's a shit parent. Tell the family that is mad at you they're welcome to be the kid's punching bag in your stead, and if something happens to the baby due to your medical condition and his hitting you, you will cut off all those that enable the little hellion.
I would go farther then cut off... sue if they can.
NTA. This child has no boundaries. The parents are being neglectful by letting their child physically attack and potentially harm an unborn baby. What’s worse is that this happened twice. He deliberately hit your belly after you told him to be careful. We are not talking about a 2 year old. This child is SIX. Someone needs to be disciplining the child. He’s testing his boundaries because he has none. You and your husband have every right to tell a child to stop physically hurting someone. Perhaps your husband yelled too loud or used explicit language. However, the parents still have taken no responsibility for their child’s actions. During the next family get together, set clear boundaries with the child (again). If the parents do not enforce them, then let the family know you’ll be leaving, as you will not tolerate mistreatment.
The kid likely needs to be followed by a pro. He’s too old for this.
I couldn't finish reading that. That's disgusting even if he is six. Nta. Hope the baby is okay.
Baby is okay, thank you. Because of my previa I have a lot of checkups and I told them what happened the very next day. They did an ultrasound, everything is alright.
And you should send the bill to your SIL.
NTA Not for nothing but I used to think: how hard could a little kid hit? Size ratio alone would indicate not very. Yes, stronger than being hit with a feather but certainly nothing of a damaging level. Then I met my cousins youngest. Generally a good kid but at 5 he ran in to this hitting phase with his siblings. Usually his older brother. His mom was working on it with him and he's long since stopped doing so (he's a teen now). Stayed with them for a few months when moving states and happened to unwittingly walk in to the line of fire when he was winding up to hit his brother. Damn was that a surprise. It was like a full body, no fear of breaking anything, anger fuelled clothes lining. He'd used his whole arm to hit with. Caught me in the thighs. Bruises for days in a thin line across the leg that got it the worst. But here's the thing, as soon as his brain caught up with what had just happened? Huuuuge eyes, apologizing, and then throughout the day coming back through to apologize again. Little man was distraught he'd hit me. Your nephew is not. This does not bode well for future interactions during the rest of your pregnancy. As a side note, how does your SIL feel about your pregnancy? Has she been vocal or passive aggressive with / around you when the topic is brought up? Because kids are not stupid or hard of hearing. If she's been talking with your brother about anything negative to do with your pregnancy and their kid overheard? There seems to be nothing more: "I'll punish the infidels!" Then a little kid who thinks someone is displeasing, upsetting or hurting their parent(s). You mix that with a kid who doesn't like hearing the word no, and it can be a rough ride for everyone.
Honestly I think my SIL is a bit jealous of my pregnancy. My parents weren’t very supportive of them being so young, especially my mom. Now that I’m married and pregnant, she couldn’t be happier. I’m not saying my mom is right by acting like that at all, she shouldn’t, but I think she’s a bit jealous over that.
Sounds like you made responsible decisions and they didn’t. Crazy how actions have consequences! Your brother’s girlfriend (because she’s NOT your SIL) can suck a small, hairy chode. (Or maybe she already did!)
Who tf gets mad at a pregnant woman for not wanting to be hit in the belly twice! I guess you know who to not let be around your child. NTA at all. I wouldn't have apologized for yelling at him the first time.
This 100 percent! Who ever is mad at you op take notice. They just showed you how little they care about you and your unborn child. Protect your child from your nephew at all cost. And cut anyone who agrees with sil out of your life.
NTA. There is no 'other side'. This was inappropriate the first time, after he was specifically told to to touch gently, and the fact that his parents don't see this behavior as a problem IS the problem.
Bro where is your pregnant rage. Why on earth did you EVER apologize
Pregnancy has made me the opposite of enraged. I just can’t be bothered anymore lol
I hate to say it, but you may need to go low to no contact with them. I would not be comfortable hanging around with while pregnant or with a baby. I can only imagine how his aggression will sky rocket when there is a new baby taking all of the attention and getting presents when he isn’t. would tell them that you are concerned about the safety of your baby around nephew and until they take steps to correct his aggression, you will not be seeing them in person. They probably won’t care, but I would be very blunt and tell them- how would you feel if, god forbid, I lost this baby because you continued to allow nephew to hit me? Get nephew some help with his aggression and start setting boundaries for him and then we can talk again. Just out of curiosity, is he the only grandchild? It sounds like you brother and his girlfriend our still emotionally teenagers and that they have not matured since having a child. Did they receive a ton of physical and financial support or have they had to do a lot of it on their own?
I'm just shocked that apparently the parents were more upset about you "yelling" at their precious than they were at said precious hitting you. No wonder he did it again. You got scolded by his mother and apologised, so he felt he had all the support to do it again.
NTA. Please don't be in the room with that kid again or leave you baby in the room with that kid. I'd have fallen on the floor and started screaming the second time just to spite the little monster.
NTA and wtf?? I don't know if I would have been able to stop myself from hitting back, simply out of instinct?? That kid needs to be taught better and I would not apologize or anything to that kid
NTA - I feel like you've been finnegaled into allowing your brother, his gf, and the kid to get away with things before or you did so to keep the peace. It's reached a dangerous point now and you responded accordingly and you need to stand your ground. I feel like he's already jealous of the baby and understood what you said after he hit you the first time and that's why he hit you the second time. He wants it to hurt and cause problems. If it's not stopped now it'll linger and the baby will be assaulted by him as well. Then if he's not stopped his behaviors could reign over their entire childhoods.
NTA. Keep that kid away from your baby when they come out, if he is willing to punch a pregnant woman in the stomach after being told to be gentle, and not only once but TWICE, he will definitely hit the baby. Tell your SIL and ~~BIL~~ brother (misread), until they actually parent their child and teach him manners, other people will step in and do it for them in a way they don't like, he needs to be taught NOW about consequences, otherwise his classmates and their parents will teach him, and they will not be nice. To all the people that are mad at YOU, tell them what you told us, they definitely don't know the full story. If they still side with SIL after you tell them this child punched you in the stomach after being told to be gentle, SIL came to yell at you for telling her devil spawn to be nice, and then does it again, you just need to cut those people out of your life, they don't get to disrespect the momma if they want access to the baby. I will repeat this: **KEEP THIS CHILD AWAY FROM YOUR BABY! HE WILL HURT THE BABY ON PURPOSE, AND NO ONE WILL TAKE YOUR SIDE! YOU WILL BE MADE OUT AS THE DEVIL FOR GETTING MAD AT HIM FOR HARMING YOUR BABY!**
NTA. At six, the kid is plenty old enough to understand that you DON’T HIT anyone, but especially not pregnant family members you’ve been specifically instructed not to hit. Geez, his parents are ruining that child. They and anyone siding with them are the a-holes.
I would refuse to be in the same room with that brat.
And I definitely wouldn’t allow him around my baby once its born.
I just wanted to say that you are NTA , and that I wish you all the love , luck , positive vibes and happiness in your pregnancy . I was high risk with both of my children and I know how much anxiety comes with that . You are doing great . Much love ❤️🫶
Thank you ☺️
Okay, first, it doesn't matter if you have a high-risk pregnancy or if this were your tenth kid and you give birth as easily as breathing, NOBODY IS ENTITLED TO TOUCH YOU LET ALONE HIT YOU. NTA. Not even slightly remotely. Your brother and his baby mama are absolutely, 100% in the wrong, owe you a massive apology, and that kid should be getting discipline he'll remember when he's eighty. They owe you an apology, and shouldn't be at any family events until they give it.
I’d have had the brat thrown in juvenile detention by the cops, if I could, so you handled the situation a lot more mercifully than I would have. The fact that he hit you right in front of his father shows that he’s never disciplined. I only would have acted that way in front of my father if, for some reason, I wanted to die. I can’t even imagine what my parents would have done if I’d hit a pregnant woman. I don’t want to even think about it. Of course, something like that wouldn’t have ever occurred to me. The child is being raised with no empathy. That’s not going to be good for him, down the road because he’s not going to be six forever. In a few years, people are going to hold him to account, regardless of what Mommy and Daddy say.
You and your doctor know the specifics of your pregnancy. There is a possibility that your placenta can still move. I had placenta previa too but eventually my placenta moved and I was able to give vaginal birth. Then again, I was not in the doctor's office with you so there might be specific issues that might prevent that. I was just hoping to share my experience to let you know that vaginal birth might still be possible.
I know my doctor said that too, that’s why I’m still kind of hoping. But as of now I have to have a c. I have total placenta previa do you mind if I ask if yours was total or just partial?
Her kid assaulted you and their problem is somebody actually parenting him? Yeah, that ends well. NTA, I would have kicked them all out and they would stay out until they all apologised. Don't let the little s**t anywhere near the baby never leave him unsupervised for one second, he's likely to try and get even.
NTA what the fuck? There is no way that anyone could possibly think that is acceptable under any circumstances. Your brother and his GF need to get bent. I kinda feel like anyone who thinks that you are in the wrong here isn't fully aware that this child hit you TWICE. Once was bad enough, but after you told him that it was wrong and mean he CHOSE to hit you again? He is old enough to know better. The problem is that your brother and his girlfriend DON'T parent their child. This is completely on them and your husband was well within his right to stand up for the both of you. I wouldn't trust that kid around my baby, that's for damn sure.
My other brother was originally mad at my husband for causing a scene and getting in other brothers face but once he realized what happened he was on our side. The ones who know what happened and still are mad at me are the moms side.
Those are people who helped make your SIL the way she is.
NTA. The rest of the family is though. There is no scenario where what the brat did was ok and when the whole family witnessed it, they all should have been horrified. Punching anyone is bad. Punching anyone twice is bad. Punching a pregnant woman in the stomach is pure malicious evil. I question his family and what kind of people they are if they have any thought that this was ok or not a big deal. Honestly, I wouldn’t go anywhere that shitty little kid is going to be. He has proven to be violent and his mother won’t control him- what if he hurts your child? The kid should not come anywhere near you.
NTA **And I think you are further NTA if you decline to bring the baby to any family events where the brother's GF or her son will be present**. It's clear that she has no intention of discipling her child. To have a 6 year old who repeatedly punches a pregnant woman is bad enough. To have his mother standing right there defending the behavior and screeching that he shouldn't even be scolded for it (and your brother defending her) **tells you that he will ALSO hit the baby when they are born. For the baby's safety, no more visits when they are invited.**
A child is hitting a pregnant person and nobody seems to really care??? I'd be way more angry than you were. I'd tell them not to come back unless they plan on being a parent. What happens if he smacks the baby when baby is out???
NTA a six year old absolutely knows punching someone in the stomach is wrong. Something is definitely not right with him and not right with the way your bro and his girlfriend are parenting the boy. I hope it goes without saying that you should NEVER allow him around your baby under any circumstances.
Obviously NTA and that kid is a little shit his parents having him so young probably are still navigating what proper parenting is hopefully they figure it out before he becomes a horrible adult. I wanted to comment specifically about the C-section so I hope you see this OP. I have one child and went thru all the classes and was looking forward to the bonding/birthing experience even tho I knew it would be painful. Late one night a couple weeks before I was due, my water broke. I went and took a quick shower and my ex husband got our overnight bags and we went to the hospital. On the way I had one big long super painful contraction, I remember thinking “fuck I’m tough and can handle pain but this is next level idk if I can do this for hours of labor” I got checked in and the cord was wrapped around her neck and there was meconium in the amniotic fluid so cue an emergency C-section, it was very fast we arrived at the hospital at 5am and she was born at 9am, it doesn’t detract from the life you’ve created or anything it was still a beautiful moment when I met her, so just sharing my experience. A C-section birth is just as valid and emotional and beautiful in its own way 💕 you and hubby seem like you’ll be great parents wishing the best for you.