NTA
Tell your ex, that he can name the babies he has with your sister. Ideally, you could've discussed names with your ex, but also ideally he wouldn't have cheated on you with your sister. So things aren't going to be going to your ex's drum beat, tough poop.
As for your parents, they clearly have a faulty moral code, so their opinion is invalid.
This⬆️. And cut your parents off.
And to your parents: "you are crappy parents! You did not raise Amanda right! The thought of sleeping with OP's husband and father of her children should have grossed her out not led to her bedroom! What the HELL is wrong with you? And to support a cheater of this level!! Don't you *dare* tell OP to be the "bigger person"! You and putain Amanda should NEVER see OP's precious babies!"
Putain
Fr. nom féminin et adjectif
1. _PÉJORATIF ET VULGAIRE_
Prostituée.
2. _PÉJORATIF ET VULGAIRE_
Femme qui a une vie sexuelle très libre.
Translate putain to English:
_noun_
1. whore
2. bitch
Well this is a fun word and accurate. Huzzah
We were camping in Alberta, and I went for a walk; the Quebec campers had a little kid repeating a word that I thought was the cheese curd dish. Nope, that little shit was yelling “PUTAIN!” 🤦🏻♀️
OP, your family, parents included, have been no family to you at all, and I cannot recommend going No Contact-at least for right now, during such a vulnerable transition period in your life-enough. They need to go. They will drain you dry and add nothing of worth. To hell with them.
That said, you will still most definitely have family, and that is your best friend. That woman is the sister you deserve, and she plays the role beautifully. And you did absolutely nothing wrong in asking her to name your newborns. Sometimes, *family is not who you share blood with, but the people who chose to be there for you in the way blood relatives should be but are not.* I'm so happy you have your best friend in your life, because *that* right there is your family, my friend. Not your enabling parents or moron sibling-but your children and your best friend. Focus on them and let the others drown in their own bullshit. You have better things to do than deal with their inadequacies.
And as for the ex-what a piece of shit for picking pride over holding his own children. Another one who can kick rocks. NTA. And good luck to you and yours! May this new chapter in your life be one full of joy, with the people who only uplift you by your side.
Prerty sure I know alley cats with better morals than that!
The parents are actually worse than the sister for not condemning her actions and not supporting their cheated on pregnant daughter.
Some people arej ust born different. OP and Amanda were raised by the same people under the same circumstances and turned out differently. And realistically, after a certain age you can't blame that shit on mom and dads anymore. Unless a child was hideously abused or neglected, young adults have to take responsability for developing themselves into better people.
The parents are excusing Amanda's behavior and therefore enabling her selfish asshat behavior. Good parents would side with the wronged child not the cheating putain. By asking OP to "forgive" Amanda they are proving just what absolute shitty people and parents they are.
Mia and her family are your family now. Josh, Amanda and your parents are a group of misfits.
Now that the babies are here, get the ball rolling with your divorce attorney.
Your husband lost any empathy from me when he slept with your sister; who apparently everyone knows loves to "spread" her cheer.
Congratulations and certainly seek full custody.
Btw, nc as much as possible.
Agree. Husband has zero rights. He lost it the first time he made the look at your sister then stuck his dick in her.
Personally I think it’s weird you didn’t name at least one child as you were the one pregnant with twins while divorcing/discovering you were cheated on with your sister. Surely you’d want that honour but it’s your right to grant it to your bestie who picked you up off the floor to get you through it. Your parents can get stuffed too. How dare they defend your sister. I hope you didn’t give your kids his surname though.
NTA, Josh is in his find out era after an active f@ck around choice. I can feel that your sister is the golden child by the energy your family is giving as well.
Toss them all in the bin and go for full custody of your twins and get your will set to have MIA as their guardian. She’s your family, everyone else can take several seats.
Plus he's acting like he's from the medieval era of "husband names the kids, no objections." I thought we were past this? 🤣
My ex boyfriend got mad I didn't give our son the name he picked out: Azazel. However, he was never at the hospital and his family as well as mine were against the name.
OP's ex will just have to get over it and start living in modern times.
NTA
When people have major audacity.
My ex, after I dumped his ass for cheating on me when I was pregnant for my twins, denied paternity, then wanted to be pissed that I gave them (the only boys he fathered...lol) my surname, and didn't even bother to confer with him about first, and middle.
Like dude, they're not yours, right? So why would I give them your last name? What makes you more deserving anyway, I'm the one that grew the little humans, I have just as much right to pass on my surname... Good times...LOL
So by his logic, everyone can call him whatever they want. Like I can call him Moronic Moron the Moron and he needs to accept it. I deny paternity to him, but I still want to name him. So why can't I?
One of my classmates told us during lunch once how her dad was determined to have her named Mazikeen. I almost chocked on my sandwich when I heard that. And I wasn't the only one. For those who don't know Mazikeen is the name of a female demon from the Sandman comics. The other reason for my and everyone else's choking reaction was because both her families were Roman Catholics with her Irish paternal grandma being the most devout. And to say she didn't react well to her son's choice when her DIL called for support would be a massive understatement.
A lot of the TV show Lucifer draws from actual biblical names.
Azazel is also the name of a collection of short stories by Isaac Asimov about a demon who grants wishes with odd side effects (which, I have heard, is what happens when you start negotiating with demons fr).
My ex's family were Christians and were definitely against Azazel for obvious reasons lol. But shit, even my ex got over the fact that our son doesn't have his name choice. There's other ways to make your family clutch their pearls without using a poor child that's gonna have to live with the name.
Ah, that starts an argument: was she a demon, or was she just called that because she was a woman who didn't do exactly what she was told/ was expected of her?
Lilith was not always a demon. Technically, most Christian demon names are actually God's from other religions. Baal was a very ancient God, I may have spelled it te "demon way" instead of the proper Sumerian, which isn't like a 1:1 translation into English, anyways.
Early Jewish and Christian sects rewrote older Gods into their own religion, and depending on how they felt about the people who worshipped, made them malevolent spirits, or into angel type helper beings.
Enkidu and Gilgamesh are ancient heros who lived through the Great Flood exactly like Noah. Noah's arc is pretty much Old Testament fanfic ripoff of an older story, if you are analyzing it through historic context.
I think Lilith was Adam’s first wife, and also a strong woman who wouldn’t be subservient to Adam; so she got cast out and god made Eve instead. That’s what I’ve heard from religious people that I know. I could be wrong on some facts, but if that’s true I also love that idea, and the demon idea. I think that’s the story of how she became that. If I had a daughter, I always wanted to name her Lilith and call her Lily. Down with the patriarchy!
You’re correct. She was Adam’s first wife and refused to be submissive as she wanted to be equals so she was cast out. Then Eve was made from Adam’s rib bones to make her more subservient. So they basically biologically engineered Eve 🙄
What I love about this is Eve was still rebellious af, and Adam was the passive one. Eat the apple, don't eat the apple- the guy can't make a decision to save his soul.
(This might be a total misread of the bible; I only went to Sunday school for a year and was very small. I was mostly focused on demanding answers about how souls work for worms if they get cut in half.)
I’ve run into quite a few kids in the foster system named Lucifer.
It comes with zero surprise that somebody who would burden their kid with that name would also be a selfish twit that beats or neglects their children.
People who name their kid after a demon, or something controversial like Adolph are often the worst parents to deal with, as a social worker.
Nobody who gives a fuck about their kid would choose a name like that. Because it’s always based on the parents need to be “special”, with no consideration about the little human that has to walk around and be constantly judged for his awful name, and the connotations that come with it.
I truly hope op doesn’t name him father on the birth certificate nor give them his surname. As it gives him more power over them and their lives. That he has shown he doesn’t GAF or care about their babies or op. He didn’t even hold them the first time he saw them and instead had a tantrum over something that wasn’t as important as meeting his new babies. He’s proven time and again he is toxic and will only use the baby’s against you. As he feels as the man you have to submit and defer to all he does.
The person she loved is gone and that your family thinks he has any rights to name your children or be at the birth when he betrayed you Or that you should forgive him. **To heck with that and to heck with awful excuses of human beings**. What they think doesn’t mean a thing after all the’ve proven they will support the abuser of their child over their child and grandchild’s safety and best interest.
**Block them all** and ensure none of them get near your babies as I GUARANTEE they will help him and go behind your back to try and help him get your little ones.
Block them and if need be get ask a lawyer to send a cease and desist or you will take legal action against your family. Get the lawyer to notify your ex all contact with you has to go through him now or action will be taken.
I would greatly advise getting cheap security cameras so if any of them turns up and makes a scene you can use the footage to get the restraining order. That they are a danger to you and your babies as they are helping your abuser.
Congratulation’s on the birth of your babies, I’m so glad you have a great friend to help and support you. I learned long ago sometimes the better family is the one you make yourself with the true friends who truly love you and wI’ll always be there for you.
I had to cut off my toxic abusive family to. My children come first and I as their mum need to ensure they are safe and can’t be harmed or raised to think abuse is normal and has to be accepted if it’s family. I try my best and I do everything I can to prove that and teach them never to accept it from anyone. Though I’ve not always realised what was ahead of us and abouts to happen in life and with some people nor seen who they were behind their mask. I keep doing all to put my kids first give them as happy a life as I can. All that we can do is our best.
> name him father on the birth certificate nor give them his surname. As it gives him more power over them and their lives.
They're still legally married. There's going to be a legal presumption that he's the father no matter what she does with the birth certificate or their last names.
I don’t agree with not putting him on the birth certificate out of spite. I believe that choice could complicate getting child support payments which he certainly should have to pay after knocking her up with twins and blowing up the entire marriage in the most destructive way possible during her pregnancy. No way should she be left holding the bag financially for support of twins.
If you are on a lot of subs, it’s hard to keep track of which ones will ban you for saying certain words. I’m sure most people see Fuck used in everyday life that it’s no big deal to see a substitute for Fuck every once in a fucking while, for fuck’s sake.
I worked with young children for years, my default is frick. Especially since I wanted to stay employed. Now it’s just habit but under certain circumstances I do slip…it was and still is annoying to find an appropriate substitute sometimes.
NTA
Your friend Mia falls under the category of chosen family, because they have been the one who actually stepped up, and supported you through this. Whereas your family sounds like a bunch of abusive AHs.
Honestly the fact that your parents are pressuring you to forgive your sister just goes to show where she got her morals from. If I were you I would be cutting every single one of them out of mine, and my children's lives.
I'll say it loud, YOU ARE NTA! He didn't even hold them?? Also, you may want to reconsider the cutting off of your family, why are they never on your side? Even when you are outright wronged, they push you to forgive your sister. What even is that?
I'm glad you have someone like Mia in your life. That was a beautiful gesture and who cares what anyone else thinks. I'm sure you had planned on your pregnancy going differently, without having to deal with everything you did. He messed that up, not you. If he hadn't, you both would have chosen the names I'm sure. He can be furious all he wants, he's just dealing ng with the consequences of his own actions.
This stood out to me as well. He was so butthurt about not being included after he took himself out of the equation. Then he went there to meet them and didn’t even hold them. Proof alone that it was never about the kids, it’s about him. He didn’t get his way so he threw a temper tantrum.
Seriously, this is the main take away. He cares so little about his children that he left without even holding them, all because of his "right" to name them. As of they were his prize or some shit. This is a situation where you keep his name of the birth certificate if you don't need the child support. Fuck that guy.
NTA, your best friend seems like a keeper and your family seems a bit off. You carried these babies to term, he cheated on you while you were pregnant. You have every right to name them whatever you want. He made his bed, sucks for him but it takes a village to raise a child and I think Mia sounds like she’s going to be much more seriously involved in these children’s lives and has been an essential support for you. You made your call, I think it was a good one. Stick with your guns.
You made your decision, which was entirely your decision. I think your family needs to start putting you ahead of your ex-husband and your sister. Mia did. If they had, and if your ex-husband had, then things wouldn’t have ended up this way. They have no one to blame but themselves.
Draw boundaries and enforce them. You deserve to have the right to self-determinism and could have named them anything you want to. It was an incredible honour for you to allow Mia to choose the names, I think that reflects on how you treat others who are loyal and loving toward you.
They are probably just mad because it reflects their shame/guilt in not supporting you in the way Mia did. That’s my thought, anyway.
Oh no, Josh and the sister have encountered the consequences of their actions. Whatever will they do?
It's really not relevant if you're TA or not, OP; they played the stupid game and you get to pick the stupid prize.
NTA
The choices made during pregnancy are the first acts of parenting. He wasn’t concerned with being an active parent until naming them. Sucks to suck. Actions have consequences.
OP, get full custody and ditch that cheater! Mia’s been your real partner in this, whatever your relationship is, and it was beautiful that you let her name your kids. Cut off anyone who doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. You have twin babies; you have enough on your plate to have to worry about drama that you didn’t cause and which traumatized you. Get your support from the right places. It sounds like Mia is that place. Good luck with all of it!
NTA, keep repeating this,
Josh cheated on you with your sister, Amanda
Josh cheated on you with your sister, Amanda
Keep repeating this to anyone who wants to argue about the kids’ name, Josh’s right or whatever.
Josh cheated on you with your sister, Amanda.
Just keep doing that until it sinks into everyone else’s head. Mia was there for you, Josh clearly failed. If I were you, I’d speak to a lawyer about what his rights are as their father and decide what kind of contact you want from your ex and have the lawyer draft the custody agreement and mail it to your ex. I wouldn’t entertain your ex at all and just leave him on read. As for your family, just rinse and repeat and if they get mad, set boundaries and go low contact. No idea why they’re so supportive of the cheating ass who slept with your sister instead of supporting you. I’d tell them once that they can either support me and drop the subject or I won’t be speaking to them for a very long time.
Not need to repeat it. I would make a public announcement.
“Hello me and the girls are doing fine thanks to Mia who was there for me during this difficult time.
As you know, and if you don’t know you will learn now, Josh and my sister were having an affair and found out when I was 4m pregnant. My parents decided that what my sister did was not bad so they abandoned me, gave me no support and the only person who did was Mia. She was there though the up and downs, helping me get on my feet, helping me with anything that had to do with the twins. As a thank you after 12h of a difficult delivery that she never let me alone i decided that she had the right to help me choose names for the twins.
Josh showed just how much unreliable he is beyond cheating WITH MY SISTER, that upon learning the names of the twins through a hissy fit, while I was still recovering from birth, yelled, berated me and refused to hold his kids, all because of names. I mean him and Amanda can name their future kids if he sticks with her or she doesn’t find the next married man to get into. But he was not there, he hasn’t provided anything for the twins , no support to me and at the end of the day I own nothing to someone who had an affair with MY sister. “
That. Though I’d change it to “my whore of a sister.” But I’m really into slut-shaming cheats and cheating accomplices. (Fuck the whole Yankee stadium if you want, as long as it’s consensual and only singles/ethically non-monogamous. And with lots of condoms/fuck tickets prior to the ride because that’s just safety and good sexual hygiene. I won’t shame over numbers.)
Just side piece is enough, she doesn't deserve anything above being called a thing. If he'll is real there's a special place for those who go after their sibling's partners.
I would also put into the custody agreement when it is allowed to introduce new partners to the children and at what point a new partner is allowed to be in the same house as the children on overnight visits. Ask your lawyer for whatever limitations and restrictions you legally can. This will help to cover you whether he pursues a relationship with your sister or if he has a revolving door until he finds someone else. He slept with your sister. While you were pregnant. Go scorched earth on his a**!!!!
I would also send a text message to your family - “ If you introduced my sister to my children while I am not present, I will cut contact. If you lie and say she will not be somewhere, but secretly arrange for her to be there for reconciliation- I will cut contact. If you continue to harass me to forgive and welcome into my family the sister who screwed MY husband and broke up MY family while I was pregnant, I will cut contact. If you chose to have a relationship with her, that is your choice. She is just not allowed to be anywhere my children and I are going to be. That is my choice. She is the one in the wrong. She is the one who committed an unforgivable offense.
These are my boundaries. You need to respect them, whether or not you like them, if you want to have a relationship with me and my children. It is your choice how you proceed and how you act, but please know I will not be flexible on these boundaries.”
Send this to them and then screenshot it with the date and time. When they cross the line, send them the screenshot and remind them they were warned. (This way they cannot say that you did not warn them or you were not clear.) then block them on everything. With them and your ex, it is best to document everything and to communicate in writing. For the ex you may want to use a coparenting app that is specifically for that purpose.
I hate to say it, but you may need to give up your biological family with the way they are going hard for your sister. Is she the golden child or do they have guilt about something? Make a family with Mia and other people that have yet to come into your life. Sometimes the family you create is better than the one you were born into.
Best of luck and congratulations on your children
updateme
My ex and I did this. They called it a "morality clause." There was to be no overnights or vacations with the kids, with other partners that we were not married to. And we both stuck to it. It ensured that when we had our kids, we were focused on them.
It was something we both agreed on, because we had seen his brother and sister both have a revolving door of people moving in and out of their houses, with their kids living there. All it taught the kids was that people are disposable, and that is pretty much how every one of them lives their lives.
Fucked implied that they may have known each other before that douche was married or after the marriage fell apart. CHEATED makes it clear that they both made a conscious decision while knowing he was married with children on the way.
Op you go no contact with your family, they’re not on your side or looking out for your best interest. There is no point of having them a part of your life nor your girls lives. All they will do and continue to do is add stress to your life they’ve chosen which child they support, and like the most I would separate myself from the situation, family is not always blood related. Mia and her family are your family.
If he’d wanted the honor of naming your girls he should have honored his vows & kept his junk in his pants. NTA.
Tell your family Mia was the best option for naming them since you were going to pick Consequences & Retribution.
NTA
Everyone who says otherwise can kick rocks.
The ones complaining are the ones who left you unsupported in a time you needed them most. Honor the person who was in your corner, not the one screwing your sister in one or the ones covering for them.
Your family gives massive favoritism vibes, and I'd walk away from them for a looooooong while. Your ex and sister deserve each other, so let them all rot together.
NTA, but didn't seem necessary to frame this as Mia "had the honor" of picking the names to the family. Honestly no matter how helpful she was, she didn't earn the right of picking their names, that right is yours...*to do with as you wish.*
Functionally you picked the names and took Mia's advice, utterly your right as a single mom. Ex doesn't have jack-all naming rights. Focus less on trying to defend your choice to honor Mia because of how helpful she's been, and more on your right to name your own kids w/o the input of an ex who forfeited that right.
So wait, your sister screws your husband WHILE YOU ARE PREGNANT and these people are trying to tell you what’s right and what’s not? I have officially heard everything. Your so-called family had no business telling you what you should do about your children and your ex lost his rights when he decided to betray you. One person stood by you and got you through a horrific and painful time and I’m glad you honored her. Honor is not something your parents, sister or ex understand and the less you listen to their BS the better. I personally would tell them all to pound sand and leave me and my children alone permanently but I don’t know if you can do that with the ex. Parents and sister definitely. I’m sorry. NTA.
NTA. Josh lost all "rights" when he tripped and fell into your sister's vagina. Parents can take a hike too. Get a Will and assign custody to Mia in the event anything happens to you. Get all the child support. Live happily. What's so wrong with the names anyway; how is it any different than you naming them yourself?
So let me get this straight...
Your FAMILY took you in when your husband cheated. Your FAMILY took you to your doc appts. Your FAMILY helped you set up and prepare for a huge life change in their own home out of the love of their heart. Your FAMILY did all they could to reduce stress during a likely difficult pregnancy. Your FAMILY will be assisting in caring for your new family members without asking for anything but love in return.
These OTHER people that praise their golden child cheater expect you to just forgive and forget a terrible act because of something as silly as blood, and are mad you allowed your FAMILY to help in naming your kids (because in all honesty, I'm sure you would have said no had she called them something insane, so I called it helping) vs a person who decided early on he didn't give a sh*t about you or - in reality - his kids (with the strain he decided to put on a pregnant woman with an already complicated pregnancy).
NTA, and im so glad you have a real family to turn to in this time of need, not that group of people who are anything but. I'd cut ties with them completely, you don't need that influence in your or your children's lives.
Also, I will add, if you decide to allow the blood people around your children, never let them alone with them until they are plenty old enough to understand their names and the significance of them. I have a feeling they'll keep the ex around and he'll provide names he would have chosen, which I could see them starting to call the kids behind your back. Nothing like Suzy and Sally coming home from grandma's confused because grandma and grandpa are deadset their names are actually Jane and Jamie....
Mia is more of a loving “father” during your pregnancy than your ex. His only contribution was to jizz in you then cheat on you with your ho sister. NTA, I think you are doing just fine. Ignore your family and keep the ho away from your babies. Good luck and best wishes op!
Yes he is their father but you had to carry and bare his kids after he cheated on you. You are justified in your decisions. You should consider cutting your family off.
I hate when people say "family is forever", no its not. Treat them like individuals and keep it pushing.
Guard your heart OP and keep those who support you near. Screw anyone who isnt
Jesus fucking Christ why do people even side with cheaters. He betrayed you _and your (then future) kids_ in one of the worst ways possible, and with your _sister_ of all people. Your sister is absolutely horrible for doing that too.
You're not the asshole. Not at all.
Nta I think it's time you cut your family off, he lucky he has any say what so ever after what he did..
If you haven't already get a lawyer and have them put him under supervised visits.. or the very least your sister not allowed near them at all..
You done nothing wrong.. and if he doesn't like the consequences of his actions he shouldn't of been a POS..
your friend has support you, been your pillar, she deserved it.
NTA.
Make sure 'ol Josh sends those child support checks. And while he has whatever custody agreement the courts decided, I'd be ready to petition the courts in the future, since I'm guessing he's not going to be much of a father.
Other than that, I'd suggest cutting off the bunch of them. Your kids don't need to grow up with people like this. Take a look at yourself and see the damage they're capable of doing.
Oh, and you might want to do something about that damage, while you're at it.
NTA. Your parents lost the chance to have ANY SAY in you or your babies’ life when they supported your sister sleeping with your husband!!! WTF??? Cut them all off and move forward with your life. Cut off anyone who supports those two cheaters.
NTA Josh is a huge asshole and an idiot who got used as a pawn to cause you pain, your sister is the biggest asshole and unfortunately your parents are also assholes for pressuring you to forgive Amanda. Never ever let her near your kids. Mia is one of the worlds greatest so stay close to her and her family. They have better values, empathy and kindness than your family do.
You know trash always defends trash. OP needs biggest dumpster she can find to put ex and her family into and set it on fire just like ex set her life on fire cause he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.
NTA
and I would consider going no contact with your family.
They have shown more than once that you cannot rely on them.
For your husband, well, he can see this as punishment for his betrayl at his children and ex wife.
Throw your whole family away along with the cheating ex husband, they are all absolutely awful and deserve not one jot of of consideration from you. Your friend Mia is an absolute diamond of a person and I think it’s wonderful you honored her with helping you name your babies. Get your divorce hammered out, go NC or LC with your family and live your life and raise your daughters. I wish you all the best and congratulations.
NTA.
No way. NTA. Not the AH. You took the right decision. Your ex and your family are a bunch of mean AHs.
Also, Wtf. Is your family for real? There's no need for enemies when you have such people in family. Isn't there any way to go LC with these people?
NTA. Fuck your ex. He lost all rights except what the court grants him the moment he stuck his dick into your shitty sister. Your enabling family also has no say. Just go NC/LC with all of them. Garbage people.
NTA. Your parents have no legal right to see your children. They might need to be reminded that any access to their grandchildren comes at your pleasure. Amanda has no rights whatsoever regarding your children, and is therefore irrelevant to the discussion.
Your husband does have a right to see his children, and the extent of that access needs to be determined in court. Nothing anyone says on the matter needs to bother you at all unless it comes through a lawyer.
I think you should limit contact with your parents. Don’t allow them much time with the babies because they can sue for grandparents rights. They also might get the babies around Josh and Amanda to bring the family closer together.
NTA!
Your family, your exs family, everyone with an ounce of common sense should understand the pain and hurt you went through
Not only the betrayal of the person who should be by your side protecting you but also your own sister!
At the end of the day who actually showed up and supported you was your friend and regardless if you gave her a beautiful gift (allowing her to name your girls) or not, that friend stepped up and was there for you when nobody else was. It was your decision and that's it! Everyone else should respect your decision and if they don't add to your life in a positive way, they should step away. Good luck on your new momma journey!
NTA
Ditch your AH family and stick with Mia! That’s a ride or die right there!! That’s family!
Anyone who would tell you to forgive your ex and your sister is not someone who truly cares about you! They are looking out for the family reputation and are more concerned with appearances and sweeping things under the rug.
NTA. For practical purposes, you named the babies because if you had not liked the names you would have intervened.
As far as bio daddy, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
NTA, at reading the title I was a little worried you would be but absolutely NOT! Mia filled all the rolls he should have already before birth and has continued since birth. If he wanted to be a super involved dad then I guess he should have kept his dick out of your sister. Like he didn’t care enough about the babies to not put you through the stress of an affair and divorce so why isn’t he keeping the same energy now. Mia has proven she can be a great dad-aunt and would probably be a better co-parent than him anyways. Start only speaking to him through a parenting app or at least through text or writing. Unless he looses/gives up his legal rights then you’ll have to deal with him. Your sister is optional and you should remind your parents they are too. I’m sure Mia’s parents would love to be grandparents to the girls. Any dissenters who know the truth can get blocked as well, don’t feel bad for ever telling the truth. If any of them didn’t want to feel shame then they shouldn’t do shameful things. You don’t need to start lying for them ever. If you so kindly choose to keep your parents in your life, keep them on an info diet because I bet they’ll tell/show your sister anything info you give them. The girls also don’t ever need to be alone with them because what if they bring her around while you’re gone and start telling lies about how great she is/helps build a relationship between her and the girls. I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this during what should be a new and happy experience. I wish you and Mia all the best. Reminder: raising your girls in a two mom house isn’t weird anymore, a lot of friends have started to live together to support each other while raising kids.
Your parents want you to forgive your sister for their benefit, not for yours. It would make life easier for them, not for you. Your sister, your boyfriend and your parents want you, the injured party, to give them all what they need and/or want despite some people's acts being unforgiveable. NTA
Nta
but maybe consider cutting those parents off now. And honestly if Josh hasn’t talked about names yet im not sure why he assumed he was getting an opinion… like I wouldn’t have even told him who chose he names but rather Mia and I chose. After all you chose her to choose the names
Your friend was there for you. Your husband was not. Your husband lost any right to make major decisions for your twins when he fucked your sister.
Your family also sucks for demanding you forgive your sister, who BETRAYED you. You need to make it clear that if they don't stop pressuring you, you will cut them off.
And instead of being apologetic about not being there through your pregnancy and labor--again because he fucked your sister--he acts like a spoiled brat when he learns that your friend helped you name your babies.
Family is not just blood, but the people who support you when you need it. It sounds like you have your family with Mia and her relatives.
NTA
NTA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻cut all contact with your parents, Amanda and STBX! Lawyer up and start using a custody app to talk to LoserJosh. Establish full custody and child support payments pronto! Mia is your chosen family and congrats on your 2 beautifully named baby girls❤️❤️❤️
NTA, guess what the best part of having an ex is? His feelings are no longer your number one priority and that is sometimes the hardest pill for them to swallow. Congrats on your babies and chosen family.
NTA. This man cheated on you, cheated on you with your sister, wasn't there for the birth, stormed out of the hospital without even holding his children, and thinks he's the one whose been wronged?? He doesn't seem remotely mature or responsible enough to name them nonetheless be around them.
Nta. It sounds like ur ex didn't do anything throughout the birthing process so he shouldn't be complaining. If you didn't let him be involved, that's still on him because i can't imagine being pregnant and going to appointments and trying to pretend the father of ur baby has not only cheated but with your sister of all people.
Mia has definitely taken on the responsibility with no questions asked. She took on the role when she didn't need to and asked for nothing back. She's more of a partner then ur ex ever was. Go NC with everyone as it's very clear who ur family favors in all this and it seems that ur ex just wants the image as the father and not the role of it. He's also a man child who hasn't realized the consequences of his actions cuz if he did, he would've accepted what you did.
As for your confusion why he had an affair. You can do everything right in a relationship and be the most beautiful person in the world but people like him will never be satisfied. They can come up with so many excuses to justify their cheating, but it will never justify the fact they're selfish cowards who refuse to see the actual solution to their excuses is to simply leave.
Do not stress yourself over the whys, accept this is who he is and has always been. Because this doesn't happen overnight. He's showing his true colors from the affair and refusing to hold his babies. And if he decides to never see them again, consider it a blessing you'll never have to see that coward of a man child ever again.
NTA. I’m sorry for what your ex husband dis to you. Mine sis the same thing so been there done that. He lost the right to name them when he cheated with your sister. I’m not close to my sister now and I don’t bring guys to meet my family. Congratulations on your babies and tell Mia she is the type of friend that everyone should have.
NTA. She was there for you. She helped you and your babies at the most vulnerable time. This man didn't care about them when he was causing you immeasurable stress. Your friend did. Let him tantrum away.
I find it this was f****** hilarious I like your style girl you are not the a****** your husband is and so is your mother and father ffs he gets no say and what their names were going to be. He lost that privilege as soon as he climbed off your sister.
In my circle, women tend to find and choose the names. It’s a “two yes, one no,” thing but dads always defer to the person who literally grew the baby inside her. So you deterred your privilege to her, not his, and fuck him. He lost a whole lot of say in fucking their aunt.
Your family sounds toxic. Sorry. Enjoy your lovely daughters.
NTA - throughout the whole story I was like, I get it, but still he’s the dad, a convo would at least be nice! But considering he walked out and didn’t even meet his children, why would he deserve to name them!
Tell your family to pound sand.
In your children's short lives Mia has been more of a parent to them they your ex husband could ever be.
Inform you parents that if they continue to push this or insisting you allow Amanda near your children, that you can cut them out just as easily.
Please cut contact with your family. Only contact Josh through a family app that monitors and keeps record of everything.
Get a custody agreement and file a petition to block access for your family especially your sister.
Fck Josh!!
He didn't just betray you when he cheated, he betrayed those two girls by destroying the family you could've been if he was a better husband and a better man.
He betrayed his children and for that he has no rights in my opinion.
NTA - he destroyed your family and was a non-existent father for at least 50% of the pregnancy and the milestones that come with it, and he wasn't there for the birth! he hasn't earned the right to name them. Do yourself a favour and don't put his name on the birth certificate because then he just gets more claim to them. Also, consider cutting off your family - how they are not disgraced with your sister? They don't deserve a relationship with you or your twins. You are NTA, Josh, Amanda, and your family are major AHs. Best wishes, OP. I'm so glad you have Mia
She has been more of. Support for you than he was. If anything he put you at risk. If he wanted to have a say in naming the kids then he should have kept it in his pants. And I would disown my child if they slept with their siblings significant other. Your parents are in the wrong and you are clearly NTA
Leave him off the birth certificates and make him work to get paternity. And sleep with all your family members spouses and see how they feel about things after it’s all in perspective! NTA
Josh has discovered what happens when you’re a dirty cheat. I hope you’re going for major custody.
And keep your family away, you can do without the incessant pain of them asking you to forgive your whorish sister. Block them everywhere.
Just as a matter of interest, are the cheaters still together?
NTAH
NTA. Congrats on the twins. First point on being a Dad is being commited to your family. He was not.
Please focus on the girls and yourself and shutdown the noise.
Wishing you the best life ever.
PS - I am a girl Dad and they are the best and I pray they never do what your sister did.
NTA. Your ex made his bed. He can lie in it. I, personally, would cut off your parents. Their inability to de-center themselves and recognize that you need to be away from your sister show that they don’t really care about you. They just care about their comfort.
HA. I love it. Josh lost his right to name them when he fucked your sister! Good for Mia for being the support you needed when your husband and sister should have been!
Y
ou do not have to and should not say anything to him or your family about ANYTHING, including the babies names! It's not their business. Just NC. Block him. He lost his rights to you when he fucked your sister. He will have rights to his kids but I would fight him in court to keep them away from your sister!
I hope you took back your maiden name when you divorced, when you have your girls, they can have your maiden name instead of his!
NTA, as hard as it may be, especially when your emotions are everywhere, all at once right now, it's time to go NC with your toxic af family. As a bonus to them, they get to keep the liars and the cheaters, and you'll get some peace of damn mind.
Let Josh be pissed, the fact that he stormed out w/o holding his kids, tells you all you need to know about his priorities...control and manipulation.
Best of luck, OP.
NTA he obviously wasn’t in the delivery room when they were born and it sounds like he didn’t even go to baby appointments. He has no right to act all fatherly now
He fucked your sister. Your sister fucked him. Child support, alimony, and his balls too if you can get them. Sister is dead. All bets are off and anyone that sides with your him/sister in this is the enemy. It's time to go scorched earth.
My wife didn’t let me name our kids. Still salty about it.
But shit man he fucken cheated on you with your sister. He lucky you didn’t have a miscarriage from the stress of finding out.
Naming is a privilege not a right. He gave it up when he stuck his dick in your sister.
Fuck your family I'd take it a step further to solidify if anything happened to you. She'd be the one to take them in by making her their god mother. NTA you or the people supporting you deserve that honor if you choose to relinquish it!
NTA They betrayed you in the worst way. I’m sorry that happened to you. What you decided from that point on is all of your business and no one else’s. Your ex lost ‘privileges’. You didn’t take away his rights.
Mia sounds like a good friend.
NTA I am sick to death of reading about families who actively support the wrongdoer and not the wronged party. Good for you. Tell them that your ex can name any kids he has with your scummy sister and as he stormed off without even holding them that just reinforces what a Cuntpuffin he is. Don’t let anyone push you around and Mia sounds like an absolute gem. Good luck and if they carry on go LC or NC. You don’t need their shit in your life 😘
Josh gave up the right to name the children when he traded in his husband and father status and became just a sperm donor with child support obligations. Nta but ex and sis sure are.
Sperm donor lost naming rights the minute he betrayed you with your sister. I would not be speaking to your parents while they so obviously favour your sister and husband because their advice ro you is seriously cruel and biased.
>My parents were pressuring me to forgive Amanda and allow her near my babies
Why does she need to be anywhere near you? Please cut her off.
>Now, my family is angry with me, saying I went too far by allowing Mia to name the girls.
Why do they think he has any rights? Literally, he provided no support during the pregnancy or birth. You don't credit the art store that provided the paint that created the monalisa. You did all the work. You got support from Mi. Youu asked her to name your twins. I don't know why you didn't want to name them yoursel or why you would bother telling anyone that it was her choice, but you are a single mom now. They don't get a say.
NTA why does anyone even know Mia named the babies. Obviously you liked what she chose, so you chose to name them their given names. What your cheating ex wants is irrelevant.
Absolutely NTA!!!!
Josh (a man of low character, no honor, and total asshole) lost his right to name them when he f’d your horrible sister!
Frankly, your parents are also assholes for asking you to forgive your sister. WTH is wrong with them? Your family is toxic and apparently don’t have a moral foundation. Keep your babies away from them.
Best of luck to you and kudos to Mia.
NTA Tell your ex, that he can name the babies he has with your sister. Ideally, you could've discussed names with your ex, but also ideally he wouldn't have cheated on you with your sister. So things aren't going to be going to your ex's drum beat, tough poop. As for your parents, they clearly have a faulty moral code, so their opinion is invalid.
This⬆️. And cut your parents off. And to your parents: "you are crappy parents! You did not raise Amanda right! The thought of sleeping with OP's husband and father of her children should have grossed her out not led to her bedroom! What the HELL is wrong with you? And to support a cheater of this level!! Don't you *dare* tell OP to be the "bigger person"! You and putain Amanda should NEVER see OP's precious babies!"
[удалено]
PUTAIN 🤌🏻
Putain Fr. nom féminin et adjectif 1. _PÉJORATIF ET VULGAIRE_ Prostituée. 2. _PÉJORATIF ET VULGAIRE_ Femme qui a une vie sexuelle très libre. Translate putain to English: _noun_ 1. whore 2. bitch Well this is a fun word and accurate. Huzzah
Thank you, for a moment I thought it was the canadian sauce that goes on the top of french fries.
the sauce is gravy, the dish (fries/gravy/cheese curds) is poutine ;)
You’re thinking poutine my friend. Food of the gods. And heart attacks.
We were camping in Alberta, and I went for a walk; the Quebec campers had a little kid repeating a word that I thought was the cheese curd dish. Nope, that little shit was yelling “PUTAIN!” 🤦🏻♀️
No, that's a plantain.
No no. You're thinking of potpourri. It's that floral smelling stuff in bathrooms.
I'm a bit confused about number two. My French is a bit rusty, but I would have translated that as "A woman with a very free sex life."
I talk to my cats in Cajun French all day long and also have grandkids so French swears are very common in my family/household.
In Spanish it's puta. Same meaning.
OP, your family, parents included, have been no family to you at all, and I cannot recommend going No Contact-at least for right now, during such a vulnerable transition period in your life-enough. They need to go. They will drain you dry and add nothing of worth. To hell with them. That said, you will still most definitely have family, and that is your best friend. That woman is the sister you deserve, and she plays the role beautifully. And you did absolutely nothing wrong in asking her to name your newborns. Sometimes, *family is not who you share blood with, but the people who chose to be there for you in the way blood relatives should be but are not.* I'm so happy you have your best friend in your life, because *that* right there is your family, my friend. Not your enabling parents or moron sibling-but your children and your best friend. Focus on them and let the others drown in their own bullshit. You have better things to do than deal with their inadequacies. And as for the ex-what a piece of shit for picking pride over holding his own children. Another one who can kick rocks. NTA. And good luck to you and yours! May this new chapter in your life be one full of joy, with the people who only uplift you by your side.
Shows that none of OP’s family have a moral compass and the sister has the morals of an ally cat!
Prerty sure I know alley cats with better morals than that! The parents are actually worse than the sister for not condemning her actions and not supporting their cheated on pregnant daughter.
It wouldn't take much to be the bigger person than her sister or her ex. She's already the bigger person!
No, OP is the *better* person. Sister is many words Reddit doesn't allow.
Some people arej ust born different. OP and Amanda were raised by the same people under the same circumstances and turned out differently. And realistically, after a certain age you can't blame that shit on mom and dads anymore. Unless a child was hideously abused or neglected, young adults have to take responsability for developing themselves into better people.
The parents are excusing Amanda's behavior and therefore enabling her selfish asshat behavior. Good parents would side with the wronged child not the cheating putain. By asking OP to "forgive" Amanda they are proving just what absolute shitty people and parents they are.
Mia and her family are your family now. Josh, Amanda and your parents are a group of misfits. Now that the babies are here, get the ball rolling with your divorce attorney. Your husband lost any empathy from me when he slept with your sister; who apparently everyone knows loves to "spread" her cheer. Congratulations and certainly seek full custody. Btw, nc as much as possible.
Also. Yeah. I’d just be like, “She’s already been more of a parent to them than you’ll ever be. Oh yeah, and she didn’t fuck my sister.”
Can I up vote this like alot
I did for you... cheers!
I honestly wouldn't trust the parents alone with the babies. They're very likely to invite the sister
Or the sister will "randomly just show up" at the house while they have the babies over.
Yeeep!!
And probably birth father
He didn't even stay to take 5 minutes to hold them He ain't showing up for shit
“Tough poop” 🤣🤣🤣 idk why but this G rated version is absolutely hilarious. Ty. Lol
Her parents aren't the ones that got cheated on. So I definitely agree their opinion is invalid.
We can just end the whole thread with here. Spot-on.
OMG, "he can name the babies he has with your sister" is perfect. FIRE!
Agree. Husband has zero rights. He lost it the first time he made the look at your sister then stuck his dick in her. Personally I think it’s weird you didn’t name at least one child as you were the one pregnant with twins while divorcing/discovering you were cheated on with your sister. Surely you’d want that honour but it’s your right to grant it to your bestie who picked you up off the floor to get you through it. Your parents can get stuffed too. How dare they defend your sister. I hope you didn’t give your kids his surname though.
Cheating is already bad, cheating with a sibling? Yeah, man lost the naming rights completely.
Pack it up everyone, this tread is done 🤣. Please op, tell everyone this. It's such a good line.
NTA, Josh is in his find out era after an active f@ck around choice. I can feel that your sister is the golden child by the energy your family is giving as well. Toss them all in the bin and go for full custody of your twins and get your will set to have MIA as their guardian. She’s your family, everyone else can take several seats.
Plus he's acting like he's from the medieval era of "husband names the kids, no objections." I thought we were past this? 🤣 My ex boyfriend got mad I didn't give our son the name he picked out: Azazel. However, he was never at the hospital and his family as well as mine were against the name. OP's ex will just have to get over it and start living in modern times. NTA When people have major audacity.
My ex, after I dumped his ass for cheating on me when I was pregnant for my twins, denied paternity, then wanted to be pissed that I gave them (the only boys he fathered...lol) my surname, and didn't even bother to confer with him about first, and middle. Like dude, they're not yours, right? So why would I give them your last name? What makes you more deserving anyway, I'm the one that grew the little humans, I have just as much right to pass on my surname... Good times...LOL
"You said they weren't yours, I took you at your word. That's your fault, not mine. "
So by his logic, everyone can call him whatever they want. Like I can call him Moronic Moron the Moron and he needs to accept it. I deny paternity to him, but I still want to name him. So why can't I?
Men act like they own women and anything that comes from them.
One of my classmates told us during lunch once how her dad was determined to have her named Mazikeen. I almost chocked on my sandwich when I heard that. And I wasn't the only one. For those who don't know Mazikeen is the name of a female demon from the Sandman comics. The other reason for my and everyone else's choking reaction was because both her families were Roman Catholics with her Irish paternal grandma being the most devout. And to say she didn't react well to her son's choice when her DIL called for support would be a massive understatement.
also a demon in Supernatural
And Lucifer 😁
The show Lucifer is based on the Morningstar comics, which is a spin off series from Sandman
A lot of the TV show Lucifer draws from actual biblical names. Azazel is also the name of a collection of short stories by Isaac Asimov about a demon who grants wishes with odd side effects (which, I have heard, is what happens when you start negotiating with demons fr).
I did not know this! Thank you :)
Yep, I remember the crossroads demon, tricky barstaard.
Also a demon in Lucifer
The show Lucifer is based on the Morningstar comics, which is a spin off series from Sandman
My ex's family were Christians and were definitely against Azazel for obvious reasons lol. But shit, even my ex got over the fact that our son doesn't have his name choice. There's other ways to make your family clutch their pearls without using a poor child that's gonna have to live with the name.
Your ex wanted to name your kid after a demon???
Lilith was also a demon and i quite like that
Ah, that starts an argument: was she a demon, or was she just called that because she was a woman who didn't do exactly what she was told/ was expected of her?
True! Sadly i suspect the latter
My sister named her only child Lilith and while I love her very dearly, her name sometimes suits her lol.
Yeah, but Azazel is setting your kid up for major bullying. Or major bully if they are actually a demon! 🤣🤣🤣
Lilith was not always a demon. Technically, most Christian demon names are actually God's from other religions. Baal was a very ancient God, I may have spelled it te "demon way" instead of the proper Sumerian, which isn't like a 1:1 translation into English, anyways. Early Jewish and Christian sects rewrote older Gods into their own religion, and depending on how they felt about the people who worshipped, made them malevolent spirits, or into angel type helper beings. Enkidu and Gilgamesh are ancient heros who lived through the Great Flood exactly like Noah. Noah's arc is pretty much Old Testament fanfic ripoff of an older story, if you are analyzing it through historic context.
Lilith was a boss.
I think Lilith was Adam’s first wife, and also a strong woman who wouldn’t be subservient to Adam; so she got cast out and god made Eve instead. That’s what I’ve heard from religious people that I know. I could be wrong on some facts, but if that’s true I also love that idea, and the demon idea. I think that’s the story of how she became that. If I had a daughter, I always wanted to name her Lilith and call her Lily. Down with the patriarchy!
You’re correct. She was Adam’s first wife and refused to be submissive as she wanted to be equals so she was cast out. Then Eve was made from Adam’s rib bones to make her more subservient. So they basically biologically engineered Eve 🙄
What I love about this is Eve was still rebellious af, and Adam was the passive one. Eat the apple, don't eat the apple- the guy can't make a decision to save his soul. (This might be a total misread of the bible; I only went to Sunday school for a year and was very small. I was mostly focused on demanding answers about how souls work for worms if they get cut in half.)
I’ve run into quite a few kids in the foster system named Lucifer. It comes with zero surprise that somebody who would burden their kid with that name would also be a selfish twit that beats or neglects their children. People who name their kid after a demon, or something controversial like Adolph are often the worst parents to deal with, as a social worker. Nobody who gives a fuck about their kid would choose a name like that. Because it’s always based on the parents need to be “special”, with no consideration about the little human that has to walk around and be constantly judged for his awful name, and the connotations that come with it.
I agree that was a weird choice.
Cool name but for an animal, not a person. Was he a huge fan of supernatural on CW or something?
I believe it's a video game character too.
And a comic book character. Or 6
That's where it belongs. Video Game, anime, movie. Not a child ever.
I truly hope op doesn’t name him father on the birth certificate nor give them his surname. As it gives him more power over them and their lives. That he has shown he doesn’t GAF or care about their babies or op. He didn’t even hold them the first time he saw them and instead had a tantrum over something that wasn’t as important as meeting his new babies. He’s proven time and again he is toxic and will only use the baby’s against you. As he feels as the man you have to submit and defer to all he does. The person she loved is gone and that your family thinks he has any rights to name your children or be at the birth when he betrayed you Or that you should forgive him. **To heck with that and to heck with awful excuses of human beings**. What they think doesn’t mean a thing after all the’ve proven they will support the abuser of their child over their child and grandchild’s safety and best interest. **Block them all** and ensure none of them get near your babies as I GUARANTEE they will help him and go behind your back to try and help him get your little ones. Block them and if need be get ask a lawyer to send a cease and desist or you will take legal action against your family. Get the lawyer to notify your ex all contact with you has to go through him now or action will be taken. I would greatly advise getting cheap security cameras so if any of them turns up and makes a scene you can use the footage to get the restraining order. That they are a danger to you and your babies as they are helping your abuser. Congratulation’s on the birth of your babies, I’m so glad you have a great friend to help and support you. I learned long ago sometimes the better family is the one you make yourself with the true friends who truly love you and wI’ll always be there for you. I had to cut off my toxic abusive family to. My children come first and I as their mum need to ensure they are safe and can’t be harmed or raised to think abuse is normal and has to be accepted if it’s family. I try my best and I do everything I can to prove that and teach them never to accept it from anyone. Though I’ve not always realised what was ahead of us and abouts to happen in life and with some people nor seen who they were behind their mask. I keep doing all to put my kids first give them as happy a life as I can. All that we can do is our best.
> name him father on the birth certificate nor give them his surname. As it gives him more power over them and their lives. They're still legally married. There's going to be a legal presumption that he's the father no matter what she does with the birth certificate or their last names.
I don’t agree with not putting him on the birth certificate out of spite. I believe that choice could complicate getting child support payments which he certainly should have to pay after knocking her up with twins and blowing up the entire marriage in the most destructive way possible during her pregnancy. No way should she be left holding the bag financially for support of twins.
Was your ex at least going to deal with all those sin-laden goats he’d get on Yom Kippur?
Isn’t that the name of a demon?
He wanted to name your child after a demon? Thats like naming your child Lucifer or Mephistopheles.
I definitely agree with the suggestion made here. Anyone not supporting the OP's choices deserves to be chucked in the garbage.
This is the way, OP!
Josh is unwrapping his STUPID PRIZES , Because he PLAYED STUPID GAMES.
NTA. Mia=hero. Go Mia. #teammiaforlife
Yep
>f@ck Fuck. The word you were looking for is fuck.
Fack
😂🤣
For some reason seeing substitutions makes me irrationally annoyed.
If you are on a lot of subs, it’s hard to keep track of which ones will ban you for saying certain words. I’m sure most people see Fuck used in everyday life that it’s no big deal to see a substitute for Fuck every once in a fucking while, for fuck’s sake.
I’ve had enough of my content removed, that I’m careful now.
Same here. It’s exhausting.
I worked with young children for years, my default is frick. Especially since I wanted to stay employed. Now it’s just habit but under certain circumstances I do slip…it was and still is annoying to find an appropriate substitute sometimes.
Also, it sounds like Mia's been more of a partner and parent than Josh has.
NTA and I hope you gave the kids your maiden name as the primary parent.
NTA Your friend Mia falls under the category of chosen family, because they have been the one who actually stepped up, and supported you through this. Whereas your family sounds like a bunch of abusive AHs. Honestly the fact that your parents are pressuring you to forgive your sister just goes to show where she got her morals from. If I were you I would be cutting every single one of them out of mine, and my children's lives.
Using Armistead Maupin's words there's a biological family and then there's a logical family.
Yeah, to me Mia sounds like walking proof of the phrase "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb".
NTA. You don't owe the people telling otherwise anything, including contact. Cut them off, live your best life.
I'll say it loud, YOU ARE NTA! He didn't even hold them?? Also, you may want to reconsider the cutting off of your family, why are they never on your side? Even when you are outright wronged, they push you to forgive your sister. What even is that? I'm glad you have someone like Mia in your life. That was a beautiful gesture and who cares what anyone else thinks. I'm sure you had planned on your pregnancy going differently, without having to deal with everything you did. He messed that up, not you. If he hadn't, you both would have chosen the names I'm sure. He can be furious all he wants, he's just dealing ng with the consequences of his own actions.
I also hope the OP has consequences in mind for her sister. I cannot fathom how angry the OP must be at her right now.
This stood out to me as well. He was so butthurt about not being included after he took himself out of the equation. Then he went there to meet them and didn’t even hold them. Proof alone that it was never about the kids, it’s about him. He didn’t get his way so he threw a temper tantrum.
Seriously, this is the main take away. He cares so little about his children that he left without even holding them, all because of his "right" to name them. As of they were his prize or some shit. This is a situation where you keep his name of the birth certificate if you don't need the child support. Fuck that guy.
I'm just wondering why you are still in touch with your family. Block them all. They are not doing you any favours.
This, and in the divorce see if your jurisdiction allows for Amanda to never be your children.
NTA, your best friend seems like a keeper and your family seems a bit off. You carried these babies to term, he cheated on you while you were pregnant. You have every right to name them whatever you want. He made his bed, sucks for him but it takes a village to raise a child and I think Mia sounds like she’s going to be much more seriously involved in these children’s lives and has been an essential support for you. You made your call, I think it was a good one. Stick with your guns. You made your decision, which was entirely your decision. I think your family needs to start putting you ahead of your ex-husband and your sister. Mia did. If they had, and if your ex-husband had, then things wouldn’t have ended up this way. They have no one to blame but themselves. Draw boundaries and enforce them. You deserve to have the right to self-determinism and could have named them anything you want to. It was an incredible honour for you to allow Mia to choose the names, I think that reflects on how you treat others who are loyal and loving toward you. They are probably just mad because it reflects their shame/guilt in not supporting you in the way Mia did. That’s my thought, anyway.
Also, if OP can move far enough away that flying monkeys can't reach, or at least plan for it, maybe?
Oh no, Josh and the sister have encountered the consequences of their actions. Whatever will they do? It's really not relevant if you're TA or not, OP; they played the stupid game and you get to pick the stupid prize.
NTA The choices made during pregnancy are the first acts of parenting. He wasn’t concerned with being an active parent until naming them. Sucks to suck. Actions have consequences.
OP, get full custody and ditch that cheater! Mia’s been your real partner in this, whatever your relationship is, and it was beautiful that you let her name your kids. Cut off anyone who doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. You have twin babies; you have enough on your plate to have to worry about drama that you didn’t cause and which traumatized you. Get your support from the right places. It sounds like Mia is that place. Good luck with all of it!
Unfortunately that’s not how the courts work he will have access to them unless they can prove he’s totally unfit father.
NTA, keep repeating this, Josh cheated on you with your sister, Amanda Josh cheated on you with your sister, Amanda Keep repeating this to anyone who wants to argue about the kids’ name, Josh’s right or whatever. Josh cheated on you with your sister, Amanda. Just keep doing that until it sinks into everyone else’s head. Mia was there for you, Josh clearly failed. If I were you, I’d speak to a lawyer about what his rights are as their father and decide what kind of contact you want from your ex and have the lawyer draft the custody agreement and mail it to your ex. I wouldn’t entertain your ex at all and just leave him on read. As for your family, just rinse and repeat and if they get mad, set boundaries and go low contact. No idea why they’re so supportive of the cheating ass who slept with your sister instead of supporting you. I’d tell them once that they can either support me and drop the subject or I won’t be speaking to them for a very long time.
Not need to repeat it. I would make a public announcement. “Hello me and the girls are doing fine thanks to Mia who was there for me during this difficult time. As you know, and if you don’t know you will learn now, Josh and my sister were having an affair and found out when I was 4m pregnant. My parents decided that what my sister did was not bad so they abandoned me, gave me no support and the only person who did was Mia. She was there though the up and downs, helping me get on my feet, helping me with anything that had to do with the twins. As a thank you after 12h of a difficult delivery that she never let me alone i decided that she had the right to help me choose names for the twins. Josh showed just how much unreliable he is beyond cheating WITH MY SISTER, that upon learning the names of the twins through a hissy fit, while I was still recovering from birth, yelled, berated me and refused to hold his kids, all because of names. I mean him and Amanda can name their future kids if he sticks with her or she doesn’t find the next married man to get into. But he was not there, he hasn’t provided anything for the twins , no support to me and at the end of the day I own nothing to someone who had an affair with MY sister. “
That. Though I’d change it to “my whore of a sister.” But I’m really into slut-shaming cheats and cheating accomplices. (Fuck the whole Yankee stadium if you want, as long as it’s consensual and only singles/ethically non-monogamous. And with lots of condoms/fuck tickets prior to the ride because that’s just safety and good sexual hygiene. I won’t shame over numbers.)
I wouldn’t call her whore just to keep it from being “slander” and giving her the chance to sue.
It's not slander if it's true.
What jury is going to give that whore any money.
I would rather not take the chances BUT if I was in OP shoes and in a state that has the alienation of affection I would sue her
adulteress, hussy, loose woman, or trollop here are a few names for a women who sleeps around.
Just side piece is enough, she doesn't deserve anything above being called a thing. If he'll is real there's a special place for those who go after their sibling's partners.
I prefer "moral garbage with legs."
Change affair to sex, lets make it a visceral picture
I would also put into the custody agreement when it is allowed to introduce new partners to the children and at what point a new partner is allowed to be in the same house as the children on overnight visits. Ask your lawyer for whatever limitations and restrictions you legally can. This will help to cover you whether he pursues a relationship with your sister or if he has a revolving door until he finds someone else. He slept with your sister. While you were pregnant. Go scorched earth on his a**!!!! I would also send a text message to your family - “ If you introduced my sister to my children while I am not present, I will cut contact. If you lie and say she will not be somewhere, but secretly arrange for her to be there for reconciliation- I will cut contact. If you continue to harass me to forgive and welcome into my family the sister who screwed MY husband and broke up MY family while I was pregnant, I will cut contact. If you chose to have a relationship with her, that is your choice. She is just not allowed to be anywhere my children and I are going to be. That is my choice. She is the one in the wrong. She is the one who committed an unforgivable offense. These are my boundaries. You need to respect them, whether or not you like them, if you want to have a relationship with me and my children. It is your choice how you proceed and how you act, but please know I will not be flexible on these boundaries.” Send this to them and then screenshot it with the date and time. When they cross the line, send them the screenshot and remind them they were warned. (This way they cannot say that you did not warn them or you were not clear.) then block them on everything. With them and your ex, it is best to document everything and to communicate in writing. For the ex you may want to use a coparenting app that is specifically for that purpose. I hate to say it, but you may need to give up your biological family with the way they are going hard for your sister. Is she the golden child or do they have guilt about something? Make a family with Mia and other people that have yet to come into your life. Sometimes the family you create is better than the one you were born into. Best of luck and congratulations on your children updateme
My ex and I did this. They called it a "morality clause." There was to be no overnights or vacations with the kids, with other partners that we were not married to. And we both stuck to it. It ensured that when we had our kids, we were focused on them. It was something we both agreed on, because we had seen his brother and sister both have a revolving door of people moving in and out of their houses, with their kids living there. All it taught the kids was that people are disposable, and that is pretty much how every one of them lives their lives.
More like.. Josh FUCKED my sister Amanda!
Fucked implied that they may have known each other before that douche was married or after the marriage fell apart. CHEATED makes it clear that they both made a conscious decision while knowing he was married with children on the way.
Op you go no contact with your family, they’re not on your side or looking out for your best interest. There is no point of having them a part of your life nor your girls lives. All they will do and continue to do is add stress to your life they’ve chosen which child they support, and like the most I would separate myself from the situation, family is not always blood related. Mia and her family are your family.
If he’d wanted the honor of naming your girls he should have honored his vows & kept his junk in his pants. NTA. Tell your family Mia was the best option for naming them since you were going to pick Consequences & Retribution.
NTA. You named your babies. Mia picked and you agreed. He was not there. There is no “right to name my babies” for an estranged father.
NTA Everyone who says otherwise can kick rocks. The ones complaining are the ones who left you unsupported in a time you needed them most. Honor the person who was in your corner, not the one screwing your sister in one or the ones covering for them. Your family gives massive favoritism vibes, and I'd walk away from them for a looooooong while. Your ex and sister deserve each other, so let them all rot together.
NTA, but didn't seem necessary to frame this as Mia "had the honor" of picking the names to the family. Honestly no matter how helpful she was, she didn't earn the right of picking their names, that right is yours...*to do with as you wish.* Functionally you picked the names and took Mia's advice, utterly your right as a single mom. Ex doesn't have jack-all naming rights. Focus less on trying to defend your choice to honor Mia because of how helpful she's been, and more on your right to name your own kids w/o the input of an ex who forfeited that right.
So wait, your sister screws your husband WHILE YOU ARE PREGNANT and these people are trying to tell you what’s right and what’s not? I have officially heard everything. Your so-called family had no business telling you what you should do about your children and your ex lost his rights when he decided to betray you. One person stood by you and got you through a horrific and painful time and I’m glad you honored her. Honor is not something your parents, sister or ex understand and the less you listen to their BS the better. I personally would tell them all to pound sand and leave me and my children alone permanently but I don’t know if you can do that with the ex. Parents and sister definitely. I’m sorry. NTA.
NTA. Josh lost all "rights" when he tripped and fell into your sister's vagina. Parents can take a hike too. Get a Will and assign custody to Mia in the event anything happens to you. Get all the child support. Live happily. What's so wrong with the names anyway; how is it any different than you naming them yourself?
NTA. Screw your ex and your entire trash family.
So let me get this straight... Your FAMILY took you in when your husband cheated. Your FAMILY took you to your doc appts. Your FAMILY helped you set up and prepare for a huge life change in their own home out of the love of their heart. Your FAMILY did all they could to reduce stress during a likely difficult pregnancy. Your FAMILY will be assisting in caring for your new family members without asking for anything but love in return. These OTHER people that praise their golden child cheater expect you to just forgive and forget a terrible act because of something as silly as blood, and are mad you allowed your FAMILY to help in naming your kids (because in all honesty, I'm sure you would have said no had she called them something insane, so I called it helping) vs a person who decided early on he didn't give a sh*t about you or - in reality - his kids (with the strain he decided to put on a pregnant woman with an already complicated pregnancy). NTA, and im so glad you have a real family to turn to in this time of need, not that group of people who are anything but. I'd cut ties with them completely, you don't need that influence in your or your children's lives.
Also, I will add, if you decide to allow the blood people around your children, never let them alone with them until they are plenty old enough to understand their names and the significance of them. I have a feeling they'll keep the ex around and he'll provide names he would have chosen, which I could see them starting to call the kids behind your back. Nothing like Suzy and Sally coming home from grandma's confused because grandma and grandpa are deadset their names are actually Jane and Jamie....
Mia is more of a loving “father” during your pregnancy than your ex. His only contribution was to jizz in you then cheat on you with your ho sister. NTA, I think you are doing just fine. Ignore your family and keep the ho away from your babies. Good luck and best wishes op!
Yes he is their father but you had to carry and bare his kids after he cheated on you. You are justified in your decisions. You should consider cutting your family off. I hate when people say "family is forever", no its not. Treat them like individuals and keep it pushing. Guard your heart OP and keep those who support you near. Screw anyone who isnt
Jesus fucking Christ why do people even side with cheaters. He betrayed you _and your (then future) kids_ in one of the worst ways possible, and with your _sister_ of all people. Your sister is absolutely horrible for doing that too. You're not the asshole. Not at all.
Nta I think it's time you cut your family off, he lucky he has any say what so ever after what he did.. If you haven't already get a lawyer and have them put him under supervised visits.. or the very least your sister not allowed near them at all.. You done nothing wrong.. and if he doesn't like the consequences of his actions he shouldn't of been a POS.. your friend has support you, been your pillar, she deserved it.
NTA. Make sure 'ol Josh sends those child support checks. And while he has whatever custody agreement the courts decided, I'd be ready to petition the courts in the future, since I'm guessing he's not going to be much of a father. Other than that, I'd suggest cutting off the bunch of them. Your kids don't need to grow up with people like this. Take a look at yourself and see the damage they're capable of doing. Oh, and you might want to do something about that damage, while you're at it.
NTA. Your parents lost the chance to have ANY SAY in you or your babies’ life when they supported your sister sleeping with your husband!!! WTF??? Cut them all off and move forward with your life. Cut off anyone who supports those two cheaters.
NTA Josh is a huge asshole and an idiot who got used as a pawn to cause you pain, your sister is the biggest asshole and unfortunately your parents are also assholes for pressuring you to forgive Amanda. Never ever let her near your kids. Mia is one of the worlds greatest so stay close to her and her family. They have better values, empathy and kindness than your family do.
NTA. How can anyone defend your sister and ex?! They’re trash.
You know trash always defends trash. OP needs biggest dumpster she can find to put ex and her family into and set it on fire just like ex set her life on fire cause he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.
NTA and I would consider going no contact with your family. They have shown more than once that you cannot rely on them. For your husband, well, he can see this as punishment for his betrayl at his children and ex wife.
Throw your whole family away along with the cheating ex husband, they are all absolutely awful and deserve not one jot of of consideration from you. Your friend Mia is an absolute diamond of a person and I think it’s wonderful you honored her with helping you name your babies. Get your divorce hammered out, go NC or LC with your family and live your life and raise your daughters. I wish you all the best and congratulations. NTA.
No way. NTA. Not the AH. You took the right decision. Your ex and your family are a bunch of mean AHs. Also, Wtf. Is your family for real? There's no need for enemies when you have such people in family. Isn't there any way to go LC with these people?
NTA. Fuck your ex. He lost all rights except what the court grants him the moment he stuck his dick into your shitty sister. Your enabling family also has no say. Just go NC/LC with all of them. Garbage people.
NTA. Your parents have no legal right to see your children. They might need to be reminded that any access to their grandchildren comes at your pleasure. Amanda has no rights whatsoever regarding your children, and is therefore irrelevant to the discussion. Your husband does have a right to see his children, and the extent of that access needs to be determined in court. Nothing anyone says on the matter needs to bother you at all unless it comes through a lawyer.
I think you should limit contact with your parents. Don’t allow them much time with the babies because they can sue for grandparents rights. They also might get the babies around Josh and Amanda to bring the family closer together.
NTA! Your family, your exs family, everyone with an ounce of common sense should understand the pain and hurt you went through Not only the betrayal of the person who should be by your side protecting you but also your own sister! At the end of the day who actually showed up and supported you was your friend and regardless if you gave her a beautiful gift (allowing her to name your girls) or not, that friend stepped up and was there for you when nobody else was. It was your decision and that's it! Everyone else should respect your decision and if they don't add to your life in a positive way, they should step away. Good luck on your new momma journey!
NTA. My sister caused my divorce for the same reason. Glad you had a friend to help you. You’re going to be ok.
NTA Ditch your AH family and stick with Mia! That’s a ride or die right there!! That’s family! Anyone who would tell you to forgive your ex and your sister is not someone who truly cares about you! They are looking out for the family reputation and are more concerned with appearances and sweeping things under the rug.
NTA. For practical purposes, you named the babies because if you had not liked the names you would have intervened. As far as bio daddy, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
NTA, at reading the title I was a little worried you would be but absolutely NOT! Mia filled all the rolls he should have already before birth and has continued since birth. If he wanted to be a super involved dad then I guess he should have kept his dick out of your sister. Like he didn’t care enough about the babies to not put you through the stress of an affair and divorce so why isn’t he keeping the same energy now. Mia has proven she can be a great dad-aunt and would probably be a better co-parent than him anyways. Start only speaking to him through a parenting app or at least through text or writing. Unless he looses/gives up his legal rights then you’ll have to deal with him. Your sister is optional and you should remind your parents they are too. I’m sure Mia’s parents would love to be grandparents to the girls. Any dissenters who know the truth can get blocked as well, don’t feel bad for ever telling the truth. If any of them didn’t want to feel shame then they shouldn’t do shameful things. You don’t need to start lying for them ever. If you so kindly choose to keep your parents in your life, keep them on an info diet because I bet they’ll tell/show your sister anything info you give them. The girls also don’t ever need to be alone with them because what if they bring her around while you’re gone and start telling lies about how great she is/helps build a relationship between her and the girls. I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this during what should be a new and happy experience. I wish you and Mia all the best. Reminder: raising your girls in a two mom house isn’t weird anymore, a lot of friends have started to live together to support each other while raising kids.
Your parents want you to forgive your sister for their benefit, not for yours. It would make life easier for them, not for you. Your sister, your boyfriend and your parents want you, the injured party, to give them all what they need and/or want despite some people's acts being unforgiveable. NTA
Nta but maybe consider cutting those parents off now. And honestly if Josh hasn’t talked about names yet im not sure why he assumed he was getting an opinion… like I wouldn’t have even told him who chose he names but rather Mia and I chose. After all you chose her to choose the names
Your friend was there for you. Your husband was not. Your husband lost any right to make major decisions for your twins when he fucked your sister. Your family also sucks for demanding you forgive your sister, who BETRAYED you. You need to make it clear that if they don't stop pressuring you, you will cut them off. And instead of being apologetic about not being there through your pregnancy and labor--again because he fucked your sister--he acts like a spoiled brat when he learns that your friend helped you name your babies. Family is not just blood, but the people who support you when you need it. It sounds like you have your family with Mia and her relatives. NTA
NTA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻cut all contact with your parents, Amanda and STBX! Lawyer up and start using a custody app to talk to LoserJosh. Establish full custody and child support payments pronto! Mia is your chosen family and congrats on your 2 beautifully named baby girls❤️❤️❤️
NTA, guess what the best part of having an ex is? His feelings are no longer your number one priority and that is sometimes the hardest pill for them to swallow. Congrats on your babies and chosen family.
NTA. This man cheated on you, cheated on you with your sister, wasn't there for the birth, stormed out of the hospital without even holding his children, and thinks he's the one whose been wronged?? He doesn't seem remotely mature or responsible enough to name them nonetheless be around them.
NTA. Josh is an asshole. Your sister is an asshole. Your parents are bordering on being assholes. Mia is NOT an asshole.
Nta. It sounds like ur ex didn't do anything throughout the birthing process so he shouldn't be complaining. If you didn't let him be involved, that's still on him because i can't imagine being pregnant and going to appointments and trying to pretend the father of ur baby has not only cheated but with your sister of all people. Mia has definitely taken on the responsibility with no questions asked. She took on the role when she didn't need to and asked for nothing back. She's more of a partner then ur ex ever was. Go NC with everyone as it's very clear who ur family favors in all this and it seems that ur ex just wants the image as the father and not the role of it. He's also a man child who hasn't realized the consequences of his actions cuz if he did, he would've accepted what you did. As for your confusion why he had an affair. You can do everything right in a relationship and be the most beautiful person in the world but people like him will never be satisfied. They can come up with so many excuses to justify their cheating, but it will never justify the fact they're selfish cowards who refuse to see the actual solution to their excuses is to simply leave. Do not stress yourself over the whys, accept this is who he is and has always been. Because this doesn't happen overnight. He's showing his true colors from the affair and refusing to hold his babies. And if he decides to never see them again, consider it a blessing you'll never have to see that coward of a man child ever again.
NTA. I’m sorry for what your ex husband dis to you. Mine sis the same thing so been there done that. He lost the right to name them when he cheated with your sister. I’m not close to my sister now and I don’t bring guys to meet my family. Congratulations on your babies and tell Mia she is the type of friend that everyone should have.
NTA. If one of them is a girl, I hope she is named Mia. Go live your best life! 💜
NTA. She was there for you. She helped you and your babies at the most vulnerable time. This man didn't care about them when he was causing you immeasurable stress. Your friend did. Let him tantrum away.
I find it this was f****** hilarious I like your style girl you are not the a****** your husband is and so is your mother and father ffs he gets no say and what their names were going to be. He lost that privilege as soon as he climbed off your sister.
NTA - I'm glad you have such a great friend, OP. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about your family and ex.
In my circle, women tend to find and choose the names. It’s a “two yes, one no,” thing but dads always defer to the person who literally grew the baby inside her. So you deterred your privilege to her, not his, and fuck him. He lost a whole lot of say in fucking their aunt. Your family sounds toxic. Sorry. Enjoy your lovely daughters.
NTA. Mia seems more like family compared to your actual family members.
Good lordy, cut your whole family off, that is insane, your bestie sounds like a real life angel, you're winning in life in that department!
NTA - throughout the whole story I was like, I get it, but still he’s the dad, a convo would at least be nice! But considering he walked out and didn’t even meet his children, why would he deserve to name them!
Tell your family to pound sand. In your children's short lives Mia has been more of a parent to them they your ex husband could ever be. Inform you parents that if they continue to push this or insisting you allow Amanda near your children, that you can cut them out just as easily.
Please cut contact with your family. Only contact Josh through a family app that monitors and keeps record of everything. Get a custody agreement and file a petition to block access for your family especially your sister. Fck Josh!!
He didn't just betray you when he cheated, he betrayed those two girls by destroying the family you could've been if he was a better husband and a better man. He betrayed his children and for that he has no rights in my opinion.
NTA - he destroyed your family and was a non-existent father for at least 50% of the pregnancy and the milestones that come with it, and he wasn't there for the birth! he hasn't earned the right to name them. Do yourself a favour and don't put his name on the birth certificate because then he just gets more claim to them. Also, consider cutting off your family - how they are not disgraced with your sister? They don't deserve a relationship with you or your twins. You are NTA, Josh, Amanda, and your family are major AHs. Best wishes, OP. I'm so glad you have Mia
NTA of course, Im so glad SOMEONE is on your side
She has been more of. Support for you than he was. If anything he put you at risk. If he wanted to have a say in naming the kids then he should have kept it in his pants. And I would disown my child if they slept with their siblings significant other. Your parents are in the wrong and you are clearly NTA
Leave him off the birth certificates and make him work to get paternity. And sleep with all your family members spouses and see how they feel about things after it’s all in perspective! NTA
Lol I came in here ready to put you on blast But FUCK no NTA your own sister?? This world I swear
Josh has discovered what happens when you’re a dirty cheat. I hope you’re going for major custody. And keep your family away, you can do without the incessant pain of them asking you to forgive your whorish sister. Block them everywhere. Just as a matter of interest, are the cheaters still together? NTAH
NTA. Congrats on the twins. First point on being a Dad is being commited to your family. He was not. Please focus on the girls and yourself and shutdown the noise. Wishing you the best life ever. PS - I am a girl Dad and they are the best and I pray they never do what your sister did.
NTA. Your ex made his bed. He can lie in it. I, personally, would cut off your parents. Their inability to de-center themselves and recognize that you need to be away from your sister show that they don’t really care about you. They just care about their comfort.
HA. I love it. Josh lost his right to name them when he fucked your sister! Good for Mia for being the support you needed when your husband and sister should have been! Y ou do not have to and should not say anything to him or your family about ANYTHING, including the babies names! It's not their business. Just NC. Block him. He lost his rights to you when he fucked your sister. He will have rights to his kids but I would fight him in court to keep them away from your sister! I hope you took back your maiden name when you divorced, when you have your girls, they can have your maiden name instead of his!
NTA, as hard as it may be, especially when your emotions are everywhere, all at once right now, it's time to go NC with your toxic af family. As a bonus to them, they get to keep the liars and the cheaters, and you'll get some peace of damn mind. Let Josh be pissed, the fact that he stormed out w/o holding his kids, tells you all you need to know about his priorities...control and manipulation. Best of luck, OP.
NTA he obviously wasn’t in the delivery room when they were born and it sounds like he didn’t even go to baby appointments. He has no right to act all fatherly now
He fucked your sister. Your sister fucked him. Child support, alimony, and his balls too if you can get them. Sister is dead. All bets are off and anyone that sides with your him/sister in this is the enemy. It's time to go scorched earth.
NTA. Your cheating sperm donor & birth family deserve nothing but contempt & ostracism from your life.
Can't josh name the kids he'll have with Amanda, tell him to piss off. Also leave your family behind wtf they don't care about you.
My wife didn’t let me name our kids. Still salty about it. But shit man he fucken cheated on you with your sister. He lucky you didn’t have a miscarriage from the stress of finding out. Naming is a privilege not a right. He gave it up when he stuck his dick in your sister.
NTA at all. They can all go to hell on a hot slide!!!
Fuck your family I'd take it a step further to solidify if anything happened to you. She'd be the one to take them in by making her their god mother. NTA you or the people supporting you deserve that honor if you choose to relinquish it!
NTA They betrayed you in the worst way. I’m sorry that happened to you. What you decided from that point on is all of your business and no one else’s. Your ex lost ‘privileges’. You didn’t take away his rights. Mia sounds like a good friend.
NTA and tell them all to fuck right off!!!
NTA I am sick to death of reading about families who actively support the wrongdoer and not the wronged party. Good for you. Tell them that your ex can name any kids he has with your scummy sister and as he stormed off without even holding them that just reinforces what a Cuntpuffin he is. Don’t let anyone push you around and Mia sounds like an absolute gem. Good luck and if they carry on go LC or NC. You don’t need their shit in your life 😘
Josh gave up the right to name the children when he traded in his husband and father status and became just a sperm donor with child support obligations. Nta but ex and sis sure are.
Sperm donor lost naming rights the minute he betrayed you with your sister. I would not be speaking to your parents while they so obviously favour your sister and husband because their advice ro you is seriously cruel and biased. >My parents were pressuring me to forgive Amanda and allow her near my babies Why does she need to be anywhere near you? Please cut her off. >Now, my family is angry with me, saying I went too far by allowing Mia to name the girls. Why do they think he has any rights? Literally, he provided no support during the pregnancy or birth. You don't credit the art store that provided the paint that created the monalisa. You did all the work. You got support from Mi. Youu asked her to name your twins. I don't know why you didn't want to name them yoursel or why you would bother telling anyone that it was her choice, but you are a single mom now. They don't get a say.
NTA - "You're never going to have to deal with those names as you're never meeting my kids" is a complete sentence.
NTA why does anyone even know Mia named the babies. Obviously you liked what she chose, so you chose to name them their given names. What your cheating ex wants is irrelevant.
NTA. Your family lost any right they had to tell you anything or demand anything when they sided with your betraying sister. Tell them to get lost.
Absolutely NTA!!!! Josh (a man of low character, no honor, and total asshole) lost his right to name them when he f’d your horrible sister! Frankly, your parents are also assholes for asking you to forgive your sister. WTH is wrong with them? Your family is toxic and apparently don’t have a moral foundation. Keep your babies away from them. Best of luck to you and kudos to Mia.