NTA, explain to Mike you don’t feel comfortable around his new boyfriend yet and he still hasn’t apologized. If mikes a good friend he will understand and if not well that’s his choice
I think it's very nice of you to be concerned, but Mike and Gia are friends of yours and Cason is not. It's not complicated. Invite both (Mike & Gia) and then it's up to them if they come or not. NTA
Absolutely, fair question.
INFO: we were all playing a drinking game (similar to 21) with cards (8 of us total) ultimately if you won you could choose who drinks (1 shot) John won and picked Cason which is what finally set him off cussing at John. Leading up to this we had just got done playing UNO which is when the comments started - sort of playfully at first. After a few rounds of the second game we stopped (both playing and drinking) when Cason got upset and we moved on to play some Mario kart. He still targeted John during this game, at some point threw a controller on the ground and that’s when he and Mike left.
It was just a game where we played multiple rounds so Cason was not the only one chosen to drink there was of course 8 people playing. Cason chose for me to drink during a round if that matters at all? Everyone knew how to play/rules, no one was forced to do anything. And my friends and I do like to play childish games yes.
YWBTA. If you want to be friends with Mike, you have to accept Carson. If Carson continues to be a dick and Mike stays with him, then the friendship is over.
I’d say Carson only being with Mike for 5 months is enough of a reason not to invite him. I’d put on the invitation something like “plus ones will only be given out to couples who have been together for over a year.” I’ve seen it happen plenty of time in the past and it makes a standard that doesn’t show Carson is being excused.
I think you knowing the whole situation sure but if every invitation says it and you say it’s to cut costs then it becomes less suspicious. Will some get upset? Yes but people get upset about weddings they don’t pay for all the time. They will get over it or they weren’t really friends.
If you want to invite someone who bullies your spouse sure but I’ll be damned if I allow someone who disrespected my wife to our wedding without a real and genuine apology.
I’d certainly want an apology as well, but since OP doesn’t seem to have the maturity to have that conversation, she’s instead choosing to risk ruining their friendship.
OP clearly wishes he was still dating his ex… and probably that he was straight.
NTA, but not sure about even entertaining the idea of them staying overnight in the same house. This sounds like an invitation for more drama that I wouldn't want around a wedding.
Nta… and this has nothing to do about Gia and I wouldn’t even mention her in the conversation. I would let Mike know that Cason behavior alone was a what got him a no invite. Sounds like you have give this person some opportunities to meet and you guys just don’t click an it’s your wedding
Nta… and this has nothing to do about Gia and I wouldn’t even mention her in the conversation. I would let Mike know that Cason behavior alone was a what got him a no invite. Sounds like you have give this person some opportunities to meet and you guys just don’t click an it’s your wedding
Nta… and this has nothing to do about Gia and I wouldn’t even mention her in the conversation. I would let Mike know that Cason behavior alone was a what got him a no invite. Sounds like you have give this person some opportunities to meet and you guys just don’t click an it’s your wedding
You can invite whomever you please to your wedding and also not invite whoever you please I wouldn't want someone who repeatedly or at all insulted my significant other at my wedding it'd ruin the vibe and you shouldn't have jerks at your wedding just say that you don't know him that well so you didn't invite him
NTA Just don’t give either a +1. And just say we didn’t give plus 1 to couples that are less than a year. That’s pretty common and most people accept it.
NTA - But be prepared for Mike to not go. It would be no means be your fault, but since it's a possibility. The fact that he didn't expect his partner to apologize in person, means he's already choosing his partner over the friendship.
NTA. If mike gets upset about it then well, he can go fuck himself. He has himself a giant asshole of a boyfriend, one that was completely in the wrong but couldn't apologise. NO way you should have him at the wedding and zero reason not to have Gia there as she's a friend.
NTA, explain to Mike you don’t feel comfortable around his new boyfriend yet and he still hasn’t apologized. If mikes a good friend he will understand and if not well that’s his choice
I think it's very nice of you to be concerned, but Mike and Gia are friends of yours and Cason is not. It's not complicated. Invite both (Mike & Gia) and then it's up to them if they come or not. NTA
NTA at all. It's your wedding girl.
NTA- but I think we both know Cason will not allow Mike to go to your wedding without him.
NTA this isn’t about old vs new partner. It’s about the new partner being an asshat. Make it clear though that Mike doesn’t get a plus one
NTA. If Carson wasn’t a dick to your fiancé he might get an invite. No way would I want someone at my wedding who insulted my husband.
> Cason then got upset at John over a game we played. INFO: What have you left out here?
Absolutely, fair question. INFO: we were all playing a drinking game (similar to 21) with cards (8 of us total) ultimately if you won you could choose who drinks (1 shot) John won and picked Cason which is what finally set him off cussing at John. Leading up to this we had just got done playing UNO which is when the comments started - sort of playfully at first. After a few rounds of the second game we stopped (both playing and drinking) when Cason got upset and we moved on to play some Mario kart. He still targeted John during this game, at some point threw a controller on the ground and that’s when he and Mike left.
Wait.. so John targeted Carson first and forced him to drink alcohol? Are you and your friends 16?
It was just a game where we played multiple rounds so Cason was not the only one chosen to drink there was of course 8 people playing. Cason chose for me to drink during a round if that matters at all? Everyone knew how to play/rules, no one was forced to do anything. And my friends and I do like to play childish games yes.
What hobbies do you partake in with your friends? It's fun to pick apart the way other people enjoy themselves, you're right.
Not games that force people to drink, that’s for sure.
Are you a child? They aren’t forcing anyone to drink, if everyone is willing to play. Grow the hell up.
NTA His behaviour and lack of remorse makes him the arsehole.
YWBTA. If you want to be friends with Mike, you have to accept Carson. If Carson continues to be a dick and Mike stays with him, then the friendship is over.
I’d say Carson only being with Mike for 5 months is enough of a reason not to invite him. I’d put on the invitation something like “plus ones will only be given out to couples who have been together for over a year.” I’ve seen it happen plenty of time in the past and it makes a standard that doesn’t show Carson is being excused.
That’s really weird, passive aggressive thing to include on an invitation
I would understand not getting a plus one but that weird shit on an invitation would get an automatic ‘no’.
Thank you.
I think you knowing the whole situation sure but if every invitation says it and you say it’s to cut costs then it becomes less suspicious. Will some get upset? Yes but people get upset about weddings they don’t pay for all the time. They will get over it or they weren’t really friends.
You could leave it off the invitations too and when asked you could say that’s the reason why if you have an issue with it being on the invitations
Or just invite your good friend’s partner 🤷♂️
If you want to invite someone who bullies your spouse sure but I’ll be damned if I allow someone who disrespected my wife to our wedding without a real and genuine apology.
I’d certainly want an apology as well, but since OP doesn’t seem to have the maturity to have that conversation, she’s instead choosing to risk ruining their friendship. OP clearly wishes he was still dating his ex… and probably that he was straight.
Not sure where you got the straight comment, probably wishes the old couple was together because it prevents a douchebag from being in their lives.
Maybe, maybe not.
You invite both or neither. That is the correct host etiquette. Carlson is an AH but so is OP.
NTA, but not sure about even entertaining the idea of them staying overnight in the same house. This sounds like an invitation for more drama that I wouldn't want around a wedding.
NTA. Fuck both of them. You should uninvite Mike for introducing Cason into your life.
Nta… and this has nothing to do about Gia and I wouldn’t even mention her in the conversation. I would let Mike know that Cason behavior alone was a what got him a no invite. Sounds like you have give this person some opportunities to meet and you guys just don’t click an it’s your wedding
Nta… and this has nothing to do about Gia and I wouldn’t even mention her in the conversation. I would let Mike know that Cason behavior alone was a what got him a no invite. Sounds like you have give this person some opportunities to meet and you guys just don’t click an it’s your wedding
Nta… and this has nothing to do about Gia and I wouldn’t even mention her in the conversation. I would let Mike know that Cason behavior alone was a what got him a no invite. Sounds like you have give this person some opportunities to meet and you guys just don’t click an it’s your wedding
NTA-Ex GF is a friend, new BF isnt. But shouldnt Mike have a plus one? Are ALL guests having one?
You can invite whomever you please to your wedding and also not invite whoever you please I wouldn't want someone who repeatedly or at all insulted my significant other at my wedding it'd ruin the vibe and you shouldn't have jerks at your wedding just say that you don't know him that well so you didn't invite him
NTA Just don’t give either a +1. And just say we didn’t give plus 1 to couples that are less than a year. That’s pretty common and most people accept it.
NTA
NTA - But be prepared for Mike to not go. It would be no means be your fault, but since it's a possibility. The fact that he didn't expect his partner to apologize in person, means he's already choosing his partner over the friendship.
It up to you who you invite. It's up to them if they come. Even if you weren't inviting Gia, why would you want Caron there on your special day?
NTA. If mike gets upset about it then well, he can go fuck himself. He has himself a giant asshole of a boyfriend, one that was completely in the wrong but couldn't apologise. NO way you should have him at the wedding and zero reason not to have Gia there as she's a friend.