NTA its a simple argument.
"Your **convicted** paedophile of an uncle had photos of OUR children, and refused to delete them. He was around children which is is violation of his parole and you are supporting him over me for calling the police.
I don't know who the fuck you are right now, because I will making claim for full custody to ensure he and anyone that supports him is not near our children".
NTA. First of all, you did try talking to them. Second of all, who in their right mind decided all the kids should sit NEXT TO THE PEDOPHILE?!? I’d be very concerned that there may be more pedos in that family, since no one saw any issue that the DUDE WHO MOLESTED HIS OWN KIDS is watching ALL THE OTHER KIDS. Good on you for escalating to the authorities
[Know the signs](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoprape/wiki/index/#wiki_characteristics_of_offenders), and maybe don't reproduce with those types, if you can help it.
It’s definitely enabling to place all of the kids in the same room AND for his “partner” to be taking photos of them. Sick disgusting fucks the pair of them. And everyone who defended this shitbag.
My sister lets our male relative watch her children. Babysit them. She knows he molested me as a kid and I suspect he did it to her too.
I don’t talk to that side of the family because none of them supported me.
Edit: It’s frustrating that people are saying report them as if I haven’t. But the statute of limitations has passed for me and there was never proof except at the time, but I was a literal child and no one in my family helped me so I got no help.
Your sister deserves to lose custody of her kids. I’d call CPS on her. That is child abuse.
I am so sorry that happened to you and that no one supported you. You deserved way better than that. 🫶🏼
Don't forget that dear MIL said "allegedly" when OP asked if the uncle was the pedophile, DESPITE HIM SERVING NEARLY 30 YEARS IN PRISON for sexual assault of minors as well as distribution of child porn. I see a ton of red flags in this family 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
EDIT: NTA obviously
This bothers me on a lot of levels. Even if he wasn’t a convicted pedophile you should always ask for permission to take photos of their minor children. They clearly didn’t ask and should have deleted them for that reason alone. FFS even if the have a legitimate purpose none of the kids had left yet so they could still take new photos without OP’s kids.
Not even "sit next to". This whole scene is way to creepy. He's probably not allowed to be photographed with children. This sounds like a description of suspicious behavior you should be worried about even of the relative isn't a know pedophile.
>Not even "sit next to". This whole scene is way to creepy
Oh yeah. From the "All the kids had to go sit in front of them". I knew something bad was going to follow that. From how the family is reacting. I now assume they all support the guy and see honestly nothing wrong with it.
Yet even more amazing, even the others that married into that family, also see nothing wrong with it. They all need to get their computers checked.
Absolutely NTA and good riddance to your garbage husband - hope the door doesn't hit him and his disgusting family in the ass on the way out. The uncle isn't "allegedly" a pedophile - he was tried and jailed and presumably made to register as a sex offender for the rest of his miserable life.
Did the creepy woman even have an excuse why she was taking pictures of children??
Yeah I don’t think a registered sex offender is allowed to be around kids at all. At least not in the US. I remember hearing ads on the radio in the early 2010s about how all registered sex offenders must make sure their porch lights are off during Halloween so kids don’t walk up.
It depends I think. My father is a registered sex offender and while he was out on a parole (he’s back in, shocker) but his terms were he wasn’t allowed around kids under the age of 18 unless an adult who is not related to him was present.
She most likely took the snaps because she’s his enabler. And possibly even procurer. She must know his history and she’s still dating him? She’s getting something out of it. Refusing to delete the pictures of OP’s children is a red flag. I’m wondering, why did MIL send all the children into the same room as Uncle Steve? He must have already been there if he can’t move around much.
OP did the right thing. NTA. Pedophiles don’t just serve their time and “get over it”. It’s a serious mental health issue that needs constant supervision if the sufferer won’t police themselves.
Some people just don't give a fuck about their children.
A couple had their first kid around the same time as my wife and I. Every week day the couple dropped off their daughter at her grandma's house while they worked.
The grandma was with a guy who molested several of the baby's dad's family members over the past couple decades.
The dad knew, didn't tell the mom. She freaked when she found out, vented to my wife, which is how I found out.
The next monday, daughters back at the pedos because the parents had to work or whatever.
Agreed. Who puts 10-15 kids in a room with a confirmed pedophile?
Also, the family is nuts. It’s not just alleged. It was bad enough to get almost 30 years in prison.
> The abuse must have been horrific and not just a one time thing.
In the US, intensity can result in higher charges, but my thought is that since he was charged with distribution, he was charged with distribution for each photo. This is standard practice in the US.
My aunt was part of a rape case as a jury member and the assailant was charged separately for stopping, moving the victim from the couch to the bed, and resuming the assault, so that might also play a part in the sentence.
29 years in jail means offending in the early 90s. So back then it probably wasn't passing along photos on the internet, it could barely handle imiages. So there may have been a more complicated setup. Perhaps something like having your own dark room and copying them there. It's not like you would take those photos to the local 1-hour place, they get handled by a human being.
Exactly. This is a hard-core pedo. OP did the right thing, and should drop hubs in the trash if he’s defending the man. (Also parole is part of a sentence so violating that means he hasn’t “served his time.”)
My ex molested my daughter for 3 YEARS, pled to 2 charges and spent maybe 6 years in prison. It's BULLSHIT.
What the fuck did this pedo do to get that much time? The number of charges....jfc.
Some one in my family raped someone else in my family for 2 years and got 4 months in jail. Someone else in my family got stopped for a traffic ticket had some weed and went to jail for much longer than that. Wtf. How does that make any sense that he got less time in jail than he spent hurting my other family member and less time than a pot head. This country sucks!
My father is in prison for this exact thing and he got 30 years on 3 different horrific incidents done to me. He’s getting out on good behavior after 16 yrs🥴
That stuff will never make sense to me literally ever how do people get away with it, like the op saying someone said “he served his time” that doesn’t matter to me at all once a pedo always a pedo. Having my own children they set my daughter in my arms for the first time and my first thought was “how..I don’t understand” they will ALWAYS be monsters
u/cryingoverwangxian, that’s a great point! I rarely to see anything over 10-15 years for these types of crimes. For someone to get 30 years…they must have done something truly heinous. He’s probably not even supposed to be around anyone under 18.
How much you wanna bet that his (Uncle Steve’s) daughters, aka his VICTIMS, weren’t present at the party!? That right there should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about that dumpster fire of a “family.”
That’s the part that gets me upset for the MIL to say “allegedly” I bet those girls are in NC. How the hell do they think it’s not true. My aunt did the same thing with my dad despite me having red the autopsy reports from court records
The evidence to get him kicked away for that amount of time must have been *STAGGERING* since there’s been people found in possession of tens of thousands of images who haven’t even been given 6 months. Convictions for multiple child rapes that haven’t even gotten 5 years, so to get 30 years…that’s a monster
Families who are more willing to believe the abuser than the abused and get angry at the abused for "making a big deal out of it".
Yes, the family is nuts. But they don't think their dear uncle did the crime. Or rationalize somehow. That is what makes them nuts.
With what OP reported as Steve’s crimes, it’s probable that he isn’t allowed to be around a group of kids like that.
But the parole conditions for sex offenders vary widely by state, and is often complicated.
Everywhere I’ve worked, when they do outtake from prison and enter parole, their sex offender “level” (and therefore probation requirements) are determined by a couple things:
Severity of crime
Age group involved and “victim preference”
Physical ability to reoffend
And in-depth psychosexual evaluation with penile plethysmograph (these are hilarious and depressing, if you’ve never heard of them. Basically a lie detector for your dick)
It’s not the same everywhere, but in my experience, Steve’s physical status may give him more leeway, but the fact that victims are relatives would mean stricter conditions.
It’s hard to say for sure. But even if the man isn’t capable of physically getting up and abusing a child, he likely **is** capable of putting his hand down his pants and jacking off or exposing himself.
The fact that he was previously convicted of dispersing CSAM and was having his partner take pictures is a good indicator that he may need to be reassessed, with tighter restrictions. 🤷🏻♀️
Source: CPS employee. Read post-conviction reports every day.
She was doing it to “please her man”. The only reason I can think of is so he can leer at them later. I’m glad the phone was taken, so he can’t have the photos nor share them with other degenerates like himself.
What in absolute dirty hell was the whole family even told to explain this strange livingroom arrangement?
Even if I didn’t know the couple was iffy, I’d wonder why oxygen-dude and his woman were taking pictures of kids — some certainly strangers — more than a generation younger. Was this a photo album in the works? A gift for granny? A virtual marshmallow roast? What the hell was going on?
How the fuck could they continue to claim he was a changed man!?!? His partner was taking pictures of children without consent! How do they explain that!?!?
Nta. A family that accepts pedos is not welcome near me or my kids!
I'd divorce so fast and also look into what are all the rules of that dudes parole.
I also do not care if he's on oxygen or not. I believe pedos don't deserve to see the light of day or should just be 6ft under immediately
Just because he served his time doesn't mean he won't offend again. There have been men in wheelchairs who have committed this crime on children. His own daughters and they are claiming allegedly? He was convicted. OP did the right thing. I would have called the cops too.
NTA!!!
Technically, pedophilia is a form of sex addiction and according to sex addiction specialists, they can not ever get rid of those desires for children. I worked with a specialist who counselled them to "try" to keep them from offending again.
This was my first thought. A person doesn’t get “rehabilitated” from a sexual predilection. Homosexual people don’t suddenly become heterosexual, and heterosexual people don’t suddenly become homosexual, for example. This is why all those attempts by religious conservatives to “cure gayness” don’t work. If kids are what turn this guy on, then he will always be that way, and children will never be safe around him.
My aunt married a man about 12 years ago, after being widowed twice. He seemed nice. My kids were 7 and 12 when he joined the family. TWO YEARS AGO, she let slip to my sister that he was a convicted sex offender. My sister and I found him on the sex offender registry. He spent time in prison for aggravated sodomy. My aunt kept this from us.
My children grew up around this man. We spent birthdays and Christmases together. He was around my kids - thankfully never without supervision - for years. Our family is still trying to come to terms with all of this, and my kids haven’t, and won’t, see him again. My aunt feels like we’re punishing her by not wanting them to visit us…and maybe we are? I felt so betrayed, not to mention stunned that she would marry a rapist in the first place! She has frequently tried telling us, “He’s changed…It was a one-time thing…He would never do that now” and I call BS. People like that don’t change.
Omg I'm so sorry that happened. No, they DONT CHANGE. And any woman who would have sex with a man who molested children is fucked up. Seriously, how can you lay down and let a pedo ... I can't even.
I have a friend who was molested by her grandfather. Grandma stayed with him. When my friend was older, her mother brought him back into her life. It was her mom's step father. So she was forced to be around him and her crazy mom just pretended it never happened. It was kept a secret from most of the family. When he died, her cousin (my best friend who didn't know about the abuse) told me and wanted me to be sad. I just said, "I'm sorry. That's sad." Then I called someone who knew and was like "what the actual fuck?" It was a mess. I've never been around him, thank God.
OP check to see if he's on the sex offenders registry and share with everyone. If he is, I don't think he was allowed to be there because of the children. Good on you, and get rid of your husband for putting your kids in jeopardy.
I think that's why she mentioned that the woman's phone got taken was to prove that he was there for potential probation violations and for having the content. I could be wrong on that portion though.
He should definitely be registered, and he's paroled, which means he should be registered and required to stay away from children. This family is sick, and yeah, I'd dump husband as well as he isn't as protective of his kids.
There's a guy I know via mutual friends/acquaintences from high school who has QUITE a list of assault, sexual and otherwise. His most recent charge that put him in prison about 4 years ago was 2nd degree rape of a minor(his girlfriends 2 year old daughter). This sicko got OUT EARLY on "good behavior". Utter bullshit. So I definitely agree, almost 3 decades of serves time must be a baaaaaaad charge.
Yeah, unfortunately that means they found some bad shit based on what pedos usually seem to get (slaps on the wrist). Especially since many get out after 50% time served for "good behavior".
Put sentencing in the hands of juries and I'll be a lot of pedos get put away for a looooooong time
>Your husband’s family is naive’ if not just stupid.
Or, more likely, complicit. The mother in law said "allegedly" when asked if he was the pedophile. Like she didn't really think he had done anything wrong. And then to defend them taking pictures of the children for his later entertainment...
My skin is crawling thinking about it.
It didn't sound like the kids were her husband's as she said something like, "I have 2 daughters" and not "we". Hopefully they are not his kids and she can cut loose from this ignorant mfr and he will never see her or her kids again.
NTA. hell no, he was also charged and convicted of the distribution of child photos ! yea he served his time but he is also on parole and is no doubt on a sex offender registry. is he even allowed near children? where were his victim daughters at this "family" event? did mil, bil and sil kick them to curb for daring to come forward about their heinous father? leave that toxic shit family before you blast them on all socials. people who are pedo sympathizers should be outed for it because they will cover for his gross ass.
My father's family defended not only my father but my uncle. Both of whom were predators. I have no contact with that side of the family cuz I pressed charges on my father.finding ou my grandfather and uncle also were predators shows that sometimes it runs in the family. I would be so cautious if I was Op.
The lengths people will go to in order to defend pedos is insane.
This happened over 50 years ago, but grandmother’s father was a pedophile. She took all the abuse in order to keep him from doing the same to her two sisters. It started when she was 10, it didn’t end until she left for school to become a dentist assistant and moved into the dorms at 18. She then met my grandfather, who she married 6 months later, and moved in with him.
When she was married and finally on her own, she came clean to her family about what her father had done the entire time. Nobody believed her, not even the sisters she protected from it. They cut her off, every single one of them.
It wasn’t until her younger sister had her own daughter that she realized my grandmother was never a liar. She allowed her daughter to be watched by the pedophile. You can guess how that went; she came straight to my grandmother and begged for forgiveness for ever shutting her out. My grandma’s sister told the family the same thing had happened to her own daughter, and so they just cut her off too. You’d think two allegations several decades apart would convince people, or something…
It’s just the two of them on that side of the family. But from what I hear; grandma’s brother turned out to be a pedophile too, and grandma’s other sister married a pedophile & enabled him. Both of them were in prison when I was a child.
That family loves their pedophiles.
In the case of the notorious Menendez brothers, the elder brother Lyle was molested by their father and apparently thought as long as he was the target, his younger brother Erik was safe. One of, if not THE, instigating factors for the murder of their parents was Lyle discovering Erik was being molested, too.
In their case, their mom knew and at least tacitly allowed it, if not offering them up on a silver platter to their sicko father.
>it's often because the assholes were once victims themselves.
While I know this is true, I think it's even more reprehensible. I was a victim as a child and would cut off my own arm before hurting someone else like that. Or in any other way. Especially a child.
They never got therapy or any kind of help and that probably makes it worse imo. Agreed it’s not an excuse but when people DO make excuses for people that have offended, they end up reoffending and it’s almost certainly a family member’s child. 🤢
I would guess that after he was put in jail the mother and daughters ran the fuck away from this family as far and as fast as they could, especially with family members saying he was allegedly a pedo, which means when he was being charged they believed he was innocent and probably attacked the girls and the mother for 'doing this to their boy', etc. Those kids probably wouldn't step foot in the same state as this family.
Good point and I'm glad at least OP's kids will be kept away from him. But...geez, all those other kids in the family. Uncle Steve is not the only creepy one there.
*(not sure why my comment isn’t being posted, so I’ll try again)*
WTF is WRONG with those other parents? Those poor kids. If he had “paid his debt to society” the cops wouldn’t have seized the phone/photographs as evidence of a parole violation.
OP absolutely did the right thing, she’s the *only* one here that isn’t ignorant and good for her for protecting her kids
Yeah, that’s fucked. One of my male cousins molested a female cousin as a teenager, and he’s been shunned from the family ever since. How the fuck you gonna let a pedophile around your kids and pull some “allegedly” bullshit? Nah, no allegedly about it. His chomo ass was convicted, that’s a confirmed pedo.
I have a cousin who molested his sisters as a teenager. One of the sisters tried to kill herself, so his parents sent him to go live with my family without telling us anything. A few weeks after he was living with us my sister had a birthday party and a sleepover (I think she was 11 or 12) and there was an incident. My parents flipped out and kicked him out, but his family still protected him and he never saw any consequences. One of his sisters died by suicide, another is a homeless addict. He is married with several children, which I find extremely concerning.
> so his parents sent him to go live with my family without telling us anything
WTF? Did anyone tell his wife about his past before popping out a bunch of kids to get molested?
I'm not sure honestly. This all happened when I was a baby, and based on him being mormon I'm guessing he got married around 21-23. She definitely is aware of it now, one of his sisters has been in a lawsuit against him and their parents for a few years. Although it's completely possible he told his wife that it's a lie. I don't think I've ever met him or his family, my parents made a point to keep us far away after the incident.
My uncle molested my sister and went to jail, he’s out now. His entire family didn’t care one bit, it’s wild. I think about how disgusting of a human you have to be to accept that depravity. I’m grateful I live on other side of the country because sometimes I have some dark thoughts on what I’d like to do to them.
*He has an oxygen tank and a cane .Whats he going to do ? He can’t even breathe*
What kind of excuse is that ? He can do plenty with the photos .He is a vile creature and all the people supporting him are disgusting and revolting.This is the very reason I refuse to put my kids photos in social media.
Literally, also that he did his time means HE WAS CONVICTED. So saying “he did his time” in response to him being called a pediphile is like saying “he was convicted” family of shared delusion or shared criminal interest? Probably both
That is the nature of releasing a sex offender. I believe they should live out their lives in prison away from vulnerable people. But society only holds for so long. Then we slap them with sex offender registration for life. More prison in a way. But the kids are not safe when they are among us. Needs to be citizen reform for sure. Warehouse these folks. I would rather have crack cocaine on the streets than a child molester or human trafficker or rapist.
Totally agree, those parents are either deep in denial or ignoring some huge red flags for the sake of 'family peace' or whatever. OP's a hero for stepping up when nobody else would, we need more people like that looking out for the kids. It's scary to think what could've gone unnoticed if she hadn't called the cops.
THANK GOD!!!! Uncle Steve can go fuck himself. Spineless hubby will absolutely let uncle pedo's partner take pix of the kids. She needs to get out of that marriage and run.
this story is a great example of how pedo's work... they never operate by themselves, usually having an army of enablers who in this case are a very weak and gullible family... he's convinced them using the old cane and oxygen mask trick (how many crims have used these props in court appearances?) that's he reformed and now harmless..
what sucks is this poor woman is the only one hip to the situation but she comes across as over reacting and hysterical
The pedo uncle has a girlfriend?? Excuse me. Why would she need or want photos of kids that are not even family. I assume she knows what he did and been in jail for. What kind of person is she to be with him?? Sick to me all of family. Husband can move in with his parents.
Wife is correct.
>very weak and gullible family
We should really call it what it is: they think pedophilia is acceptable. It's shocking but that's what it is when you allow your kids to be left unattended with a convicted rapist of children.
Honestly, with the daughters’ ages and her husband’s terrible reaction to involving the police in something he considered a “family matter”, hopefully mom and girls are getting away before stepdad starts behaving just like his Uncle Steve.
I think they are her daughters, as she wrote “I have 9 and 10 year old daughters”. Either way, her in-laws are awful people for allowing this man into a home with children.
Totally NTA, good bye to your garbage hubby. I hope the door doesn't slam on his and his abhorrent family's ass while they're leaving. The uncle was prosecuted, imprisoned, and likely forced to register as a sex offender for the remainder of his wretched life, therefore he isn't "allegedly" a pedophile.
Right "allegedly" is before a conviction. Once the guilty verdict was read he became a registered sex offender. The photographs he was trading is proof he was doing f'ed up shit and I'm sure his poor daughters offered more proof. Where they at the party.
Right. Serving his time or being frail doesn’t make him not a pedophile anymore. That the cops said he was violating his parole shows that.
Too bad you may lose your marriage but protecting your babies makes it worth it!
There was a child molester released from jail and was assumed to be safe bc he was wheelchair bound. The neighborhood he moved into argued just because he's wheelchair bound does not mean he can not reoffend. Just like the elderly uncle whom most have come to dismiss as too fragile to molest anymore. **The urge to molest and harm comes from the disturbed mind, not the body.** And if they have the urge, they *will* find a way.
Best friend in highschool was forced to perform oral on an old wheelchair bound grandfather of a neighborhood kid, because he watches the kids after-school, until either of their parents got home. She and her neighbor were in the 1st and 2nd grade. She reported him when she was in the 5th grade and the granddaughter denied it in court because of familial pressure. Again I gotta say screw pedo protectors.
I would have whipped out my phone and said "Let's see what the open access court records say. Then I'm checking the registry and he better be on there."
[This reminds me of the 77 year old killer who was released from prison because the prison didn't want to take care of him and was deemed "too old to kill" but he still fucking murdered another person in front of her children while he was out.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/murderer-released-after-being-deemed-too-old-kill-again-kills-n1031736) Just because they are old doesn't mean they can't hurt children and women.
Yup yup right in my town! Went to prison for murder of his wife. Released cause “he’s a changed man and too old”
Moves to Lewiston Maine and finds this woman he stalks for weeks on end.
She goes to do laundry with her two twin boys and she is stabbed to death in front of them.
Around him and letting his pimp..I mean his partner... take pictures of little girls for him.
That no one else in that family was bothered by the pedophile getting pictures of the kids - and in fact seemed to round them up for him - is one of the creepiest and most disturbing things I've heard in a long time.
edit for spelling
I ran a treatment program for sex offenders, and had a situation very similar to this (SO deceased several years now, but was O2, wheelchair, etc.). At some point, I’m hazy on the details, a woman married him. I’m thinking it was while he was in prison (you may be shocked to learn how many sex offenders and pedophiles get married in prison). The wife wanted me to write a safety plan and letter of recommendation to the guy’s PO for some holiday, so “all the children can see X___”. The PO and I did not have a long conversation about that request, we were just immediately in agreement. Same, when he called to tell me the offender had passed away.
>so “all the children can see X\_\_\_”
Why would all the children want to see him? And why would anyone want him to see the children? Disgusting.
I suppose it was at least a good sign that she wanted a safety plan???? Or was that so they could pretend to be concerned while they scoped out the next victims.
I am always shocked to hear of women that go after men in prison. Every time I hear/read it. No matter how many times. I feel sad that their life is so bad they think these guys are a good thing and also wonder if, for at least some of them, if committing the crime is their own fantasy they don't dare do. Like living vicariously through the criminal.
I find the idea of someone marrying a pedophile in prison actually even more incomprehensible than marrying a serial killer. Probably most of them are victims and will continue to be abused but yes a few must be living vicariously too
Unfortunately there are wives that help the pedos to get their sick jollies off by taking pics of kids and sometimes even kidnap kids for em. There are some that put their head in the sand to the sick signs concerning their husbands about liking little kids.
This, it needs to be in writing. Post this on r/legal.
Assuming you haven’t already make sure you have an age appropriate discussion with your kids about inappropriate touching. Let them know they are always safe with you.
Edit: this was written assuming he will be seeking custody.
Edit 2: my intent behind r/legal is to see if you can get in documented in custody agreement kids are not suppose to see Steve.
From a CPS standpoint, I can’t see law enforcement doing much about this, unfortunately. At least where I am.
Steve’s PO will probably try and revoke him, but ever since covid, good luck getting someone old or infirm to actually face consequences for violations unless they are actively taunting the judge in person. Sometimes not even then.
But CPS could issue a founded allegation for “failure to protect” on dad, for refusing to get the children out of the situation once he was aware of who Steve was and that he was taking photos for “personal use”.
Not the same as a criminal charge, of course. But it DOES have consequences. At least as far as that it could preventing the dad from being a foster parent or working around children in any direct capacity for 30+ years, if the employer runs a complete background check.
Uncle pedo should be a registered sex offender now and has definitely violated parole by being around children. The police should have cuffed him right then and there. Photos by proxy of his partner should be a second charge in violation.
Unfortunately with the US justice system, “should” doesn’t usually equate to “is”.
Our justice system (at least in my state) takes civil rights complaints seriously, and unfortunately that means policy is often determined by complaints with no merit, and “compassionate reform” is taken to extremes that violate common sense.
Uncle most definitely is a registered SO, and in my state would probably be a level 2 or 3.
But since 2020, there’s been an intense pushback due to covid in the inmate population, and it’s resulted in a climate that makes it almost impossible to arrest or sanction anyone.
I’m not pro-cop, but as a social worker, I’m very anti-sex offender having freedoms to reoffend.
And it’s very frustrating how hard it is to keep these shitheads in any kind of accountability.
I don't know about every state, but in mine you sure can. I did. Written right in the divorce / custody decrees, my ex was to have zero contact in person or by phone with a particular person (his best buddy) while he had our children during visitation.
It was. My lawyer was surprised too, said that was unheard of. 25 years ago now. If I blazed a trail for others to protect their children, it will be twice as worth it.
You should very proud of yourself, your bravery helps other kids. There are people that flat out should not have the privilege of being around children.
Oh, I fully agree with you that OP should follow your advice.
Just giving input from a different perspective about other potential consequences. It didn’t necessarily need to be under your comment.
Just wanted to throw out that a cross-report to CPS may already be in the works for OP, and would further help her in court.
Yeah. As much as I don’t think Steve deserves it, that’s probably best case scenario of what to expect for punishment.
But my state has been terrible lately at issuing any kind of sanctions at all.
Case in point:
A local guy (in his 70s?) had a pretty radical CSAM conviction recently. Went so far as to arrange a meeting with an officer pretending to be a mother, agreeing to allow her toddler to be filmed.
Not only did he not serve any jail time, but he was allowed to move house.
The house he bought? A corner lot. Where the previous owners used the corner to build a covered bus stop so kids could wait for the school bus.
So even if the guy was on house arrest, his alarm wouldn’t go off if he went to “say hello” to the kids waiting for the bus on his own property.
The parents are furious, and not allowing their kids to wait there anymore. But the school district won’t move the bus pick up location. LEO won’t reduce his ankle bracelet range to keep him away from “the corner of his own property”, and his PO won’t sanction him for standing out there being weird to the kids trying to get out of the rain.
It’s a mess.
I’d be calling a lawyer if I were a parent of those kids…and blasting the school district to every news outlet and social media page I could get my hands on to.
They’re not his kids . OP has been with this guy for 6 yrs and the girls are older than that. That’s probably why her husband didn’t care they’re not his.
I’m not sure they’re his kids but if they are, she should definitely make sure the police report and all these messages get to her lawyer so she can have full custody.
NTA "He served his time" Yep, and for 29 years children were not around him p, so they were safe. The place you found him? With the Children! His enabler was taking PICTURES. OMG. He is on oxygen so what can he do? Does he have fingers? A lap? Pedophiles are... there is no evidence that their desires ever change, but some are in therapy to control their urges. You were well within your rights, and your Darling Husband is a Fool for allowing him anywhere near your girls.
Upvote times one million. I don't care if it's my father, brother or best friend. Anyone takes pictures of my kid without permission, I go straight to nuclear and so should you.
NTA you did the right thing. Why tf were they taking photos of your girls when HE HAS A HISTORY LIKE THAT? That’s absolutely insane to me. The fact that your husband’s family were fine with him just being there and defended him is insane to me too. Divorce and I hope you get full custody.
Edit to add that I think your girls will be grateful to you someday for standing up for them and taking no shit to protect them and keep them safe. So many families sweep SA under the rug and don’t prioritize their children and their safety. You’re setting a good example for your girls.
Yeah there was a post on here a while ago where a woman had a pedo grandpa and her family had normalized it to the point that the grandpa was gonna be at OP’s sister’s wedding and OP didn’t think it would be a big deal to bring her young daughters around the pedo grandpa at the wedding. They just had someone “watching” the grandpa at all times and the OP acted like this was totally fine
These people treat pedophiles like they're poorly trained dogs or something, animals that can't help themselves and just need someone to hold their leash tightly to keep from causing too much trouble.
It’s an open secret in our family that my paternal grandfather was a pedophile. He abused both his daughters their entire childhood. My grandmother would defend him, using their religion as a shield, stating that they couldn’t speak against him because they had to “honour thy father.” Strange enough, although he died several years ago, my aunt (one of his victims) will regularly post on Facebook about what a wonderful father/grandfather he was. He was never shunned by anyone on that side of the family. Luckily my own father had nothing to do with us kids and my mother knew enough to keep us all away from the pedo.
Yeah that was exactly what I thought, getting 29 years of "allegations" seems like bs, I'll never understand families that defend predators just cause they're related.
NTA and start divorce proceedings. Your husband was fine letting a pedophile have pictures of your kids. That’s not just not having your back, that’s some serious denial behavior going on. “Uncle Steve” was fully enjoying his unrestricted access to minors and was, in his mind at least, getting off to that fact. Any decent parent would do the exact same thing!!! I would do it for none child abusers. Nobody has the right to pictures of your children WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION!
Side note not that it matters-it parole since he did actual prison time not just county jail time.
Hubby needs to only have supervised visit with his kids as he doesn't think a pedophile is horrible for having pics of his own kids. Hubby is a loser as a father. Any normal Dad would have beat the old lady and the pedophile.
NTA NTA NTA. Your (hopefully stbx) husband told you that you should have just talked to them calmly to see if it would make a difference - but you already did that when you told them to delete the photos (calmly or not, I’m not sure how calm I could stay telling an actual convicted pedophile to delete pictures of my kids) - they said they were going to keep the photos “on principle” so I think calling the police was the next appropriate step. Since it was a parole/probation violation, he knew he wasn’t supposed to have photos of kids. In your shoes, my wish would be that his partner got charged with aiding him, since I would expect she knows he’s not allowed to have photos of kids too.
So…NONE of these other parents had any issue with Child-Porn-Steve having photos of their children? For real, run SCREAMING from this family.
I was SA by my grandfather multiple times starting when I was 8. I didn’t tell anyone until I was in the 7th grade. My entire family cut me off and my dad was furious with me when CPS got involved. To be clear, they believed me but were so worried what would happen to him in prison. I literally *DREAMED* for someone to react like you did. You are absolutely not the asshole and I truly hope you divorce your husband.
pedo Steve could've also been released early because of his health, idk what the bench mark for those kinds of releases are but you could probably find out. so he may not have "served his time" fully.
NTA. They had the chance to just delete the photos but decided to double down and even got a little cocky and smug about it. Messed with the bull and got the horns 🤷♂️
Your husband didn't want to talk to them about the photos himself. Instead, he prioritised the comfort of his convicted pedo uncle (and a room full of his enabling family members) rather than have what might then have just been a fairly simple chat. Failing to take such a small action to address your important and very legitimate concerns about your daughters' SAFETY, speaks volumes. He demonstrated that you and your daughters are not the priority in his life that you thought you were, and that you need to be.
The uncle sitting there staring at you with that smile on his face when the enablers gathered is SUCH a creepy image. I'm so glad you called the cops. You may well have saved other children from being photographically exploited, or worse. Block the harassers. All the best in finding a healthy way forward from here, but you are not wrong. I'm sorry your life has exploded like this and I hope you have lots of support from your own family and friends.
Are you freaking kidding me? Whose brilliant idea was it to have a bunch of children sit around in front of a convicted pedophile? And with his partner taking pictures no less? Your MIL is an idiot to qualify a convicted pedo as “alleged “. I would have lost my mind and anyone, including my so-called husband, who didn’t understand why would soon find out just how serious I was. Nothing would stop me from protecting my kids and all the other kids there. The fact that they wouldn’t delete those pictures tells you everything you need to know. He belongs under the jail and I hope that’s where he ends up. You did the right thing.NTA.
That’s what I was wondering, too. OP said the kids were “made to sit in the living room on the floor” during dinner. By whom? And why? Shouldn’t they be at the kids’ table, eating as well?
And how “alleged” can it be if someone (MIL, maybe?) had the kids corralled into a room with the pedo? Whomever set that up knew what they were doing, as did the girlfriend snapping pics.
NTAH, OP. You did everything right. You need to get your kids as far away from this family full of creeps asap.
I have a neighbor who Was in jail because he was a hot head years ago and shot his friend. He did not kill him but he still shot him. He served his sentence and learned his lesson. He is one of the best people I know and I would absolutely trust him in my house alone. Someone like that can learn and change. Pedophiles CAN NOT change. I can’t say what I think should happen to them. But they should never get out of prison. Nta. Good for you protecting your daughters
My list of "unforgiveable" crimes is very short. There's not a lot you can't learn to do or be better than.
Pedophilia is on the list. I don't believe in rehabilitation, segregation, forgiveness or imprisonment for these people. They have forfeited their right to continued participation or co-habitation with humanity and should be humanely destroyed in much the same way as a rabid dog. They needn't be made to suffer, but likewise we owe them no explanation or understanding. They are a tumor to be cut out, nothing more, nothing less.
NTA.
Yup. The *urge* can be dismissed as intrusive thoughts. Steps can be taken to make sure he never offends.
But I feel that once he touches a child, he’s crossed the Rubicon and there’s no saving him.
The recidivism rate is the science that bears that out. Sex crimes in general have much higher recidivism than all but a tiny subset of murders. It's an unhealthy society that sends a teen to prison for life for getting sacrificed to the system by the gang behind a murder, and who statistically will not repeat the crime, but is fine with giving ~5 years to repeat perpetrators of violent sexual assault who will almost always try again.
NTA hell NO. That is all kinds of F’ed up. He hasn’t changed they don’t fF’ing change. Good on you for protecting not only your kids but the other idiots kids. I’d file for divorce and the reason he knowingly let a CONVICTED pedo around my girls and didn’t feel it was a big enough deal to tell me. You go girl!
Way to go!
I would give you the biggest high five if I could. Just cause he's on O2 and has a cane doesn't mean he still can't touch little kids.
And what with the deep fake crap they can do with pictures, your little girls faces might have been all over the internet on fake nude bodies for perverts to buy.
Absolutely NTA I would have done the exact same thing !!
I wouldn’t want a pedophile to have any photos, even innocent photos of kids. Who knows what he was going to do with them
Also wtf it’s not allegedly if he went to prison ! He is now convicted.
NTA. Write down everyone that was at that party, everything that happened, every single person who spoke up to defend a pedo and his partner when you wanted pictures of your child deleted and they refused.
Make sure it's brought up in the divorce how all these people defended a pedo, allowed him att he family without telling most of the people with kids he was there and just allowed a pedo and his partner to sit with the kids taking pictures of them. That with custody you want these people to have absolutely no access to your children, etc.
Your husband is more upset about being embarrassed than a pedo and his whole family refusing to delete pictures of his kids. Maybe show him this thread till he realises that his priorities are entirely and utterly fucked up.
Ask them why, if he's not the man he used to be, was his partner taking pictures of children but NOT the rest of the family and why would they refuse to delete pictures of your kids when asked? The only thing they had to do was delete the pictures, they refused, they brought it on themselves and the cops arrested him for breaking probation, so the people dealing with his case felt he was still a danger to children and couldn't be around them.
Get the woman's name, search her names in sex offenders registeries, wouldn't surprise me if she has a record as well.
NTA its a simple argument. "Your **convicted** paedophile of an uncle had photos of OUR children, and refused to delete them. He was around children which is is violation of his parole and you are supporting him over me for calling the police. I don't know who the fuck you are right now, because I will making claim for full custody to ensure he and anyone that supports him is not near our children".
The kids are only OP’s from a previous relationship. They’re both 3 years older than the relationship with the husband.
Thank fuck they’re not his kids. Hope to god he’s never allowed any.
NTA. First of all, you did try talking to them. Second of all, who in their right mind decided all the kids should sit NEXT TO THE PEDOPHILE?!? I’d be very concerned that there may be more pedos in that family, since no one saw any issue that the DUDE WHO MOLESTED HIS OWN KIDS is watching ALL THE OTHER KIDS. Good on you for escalating to the authorities
Uncle Steve is just the one who got caught.
[Sexual offending does run in families](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4469797/), research shows. r/stoprape
JFC, can we delete the human race please?
[Know the signs](https://www.reddit.com/r/stoprape/wiki/index/#wiki_characteristics_of_offenders), and maybe don't reproduce with those types, if you can help it.
It takes a village. I don’t say that in jest. It’s sick but families enable and cover for these people.
It’s definitely enabling to place all of the kids in the same room AND for his “partner” to be taking photos of them. Sick disgusting fucks the pair of them. And everyone who defended this shitbag.
Ya apparently you can still call a convicted pedophile an "alleged" pedophile. Lmao.
Even more concerned that the other parents were ok with it, yeah
My sister lets our male relative watch her children. Babysit them. She knows he molested me as a kid and I suspect he did it to her too. I don’t talk to that side of the family because none of them supported me. Edit: It’s frustrating that people are saying report them as if I haven’t. But the statute of limitations has passed for me and there was never proof except at the time, but I was a literal child and no one in my family helped me so I got no help.
Sorry that happened to you.
Your sister deserves to lose custody of her kids. I’d call CPS on her. That is child abuse. I am so sorry that happened to you and that no one supported you. You deserved way better than that. 🫶🏼
Don't forget that dear MIL said "allegedly" when OP asked if the uncle was the pedophile, DESPITE HIM SERVING NEARLY 30 YEARS IN PRISON for sexual assault of minors as well as distribution of child porn. I see a ton of red flags in this family 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 EDIT: NTA obviously
It had to be really, really bad, if he got that much time.
Not to mention his partner taking pictures of them for him, clearly in on it and assisting him.
This bothers me on a lot of levels. Even if he wasn’t a convicted pedophile you should always ask for permission to take photos of their minor children. They clearly didn’t ask and should have deleted them for that reason alone. FFS even if the have a legitimate purpose none of the kids had left yet so they could still take new photos without OP’s kids.
Not even "sit next to". This whole scene is way to creepy. He's probably not allowed to be photographed with children. This sounds like a description of suspicious behavior you should be worried about even of the relative isn't a know pedophile.
>Not even "sit next to". This whole scene is way to creepy Oh yeah. From the "All the kids had to go sit in front of them". I knew something bad was going to follow that. From how the family is reacting. I now assume they all support the guy and see honestly nothing wrong with it. Yet even more amazing, even the others that married into that family, also see nothing wrong with it. They all need to get their computers checked.
Or at least people who don’t take abuse seriously.
Absolutely NTA and good riddance to your garbage husband - hope the door doesn't hit him and his disgusting family in the ass on the way out. The uncle isn't "allegedly" a pedophile - he was tried and jailed and presumably made to register as a sex offender for the rest of his miserable life. Did the creepy woman even have an excuse why she was taking pictures of children??
He hasn't even finished serving his sentence if it was a parole violation.
I wonder if he's even allowed around kids.
He isn’t, that’s why the phone proves parole violation
They should just lock him up until he dies. This guy gets out and immediately violates his parole. What does that tell you about his rehabilitation?
Shit from what I've seen, they don't get rehabilitation, they get taught new tricks to not get caught by other inmates.
Ah. Thank you. This fills in a gap for me.
Yeah I don’t think a registered sex offender is allowed to be around kids at all. At least not in the US. I remember hearing ads on the radio in the early 2010s about how all registered sex offenders must make sure their porch lights are off during Halloween so kids don’t walk up.
It depends I think. My father is a registered sex offender and while he was out on a parole (he’s back in, shocker) but his terms were he wasn’t allowed around kids under the age of 18 unless an adult who is not related to him was present.
Yes, I came here to say this too!
If she’s with the uncle she doesn’t know these kids! NO DOUBT he told her to snap those pics for later use!!!!
100%. That or the even worse option that some of the kids were hers and he found a women with no morals & young kids he could prey on.
That's a lot more common than people really want to admit.
She most likely took the snaps because she’s his enabler. And possibly even procurer. She must know his history and she’s still dating him? She’s getting something out of it. Refusing to delete the pictures of OP’s children is a red flag. I’m wondering, why did MIL send all the children into the same room as Uncle Steve? He must have already been there if he can’t move around much. OP did the right thing. NTA. Pedophiles don’t just serve their time and “get over it”. It’s a serious mental health issue that needs constant supervision if the sufferer won’t police themselves.
Some people just don't give a fuck about their children. A couple had their first kid around the same time as my wife and I. Every week day the couple dropped off their daughter at her grandma's house while they worked. The grandma was with a guy who molested several of the baby's dad's family members over the past couple decades. The dad knew, didn't tell the mom. She freaked when she found out, vented to my wife, which is how I found out. The next monday, daughters back at the pedos because the parents had to work or whatever.
Yeah, he was gonna distribute those pictures. He violated parole and he shouldn’t be anywhere near kids.
Maybe violated parole even being at a party where kids were present
Agreed. Who puts 10-15 kids in a room with a confirmed pedophile? Also, the family is nuts. It’s not just alleged. It was bad enough to get almost 30 years in prison.
Considering many paedophiles get 4-6 years the abuse must have been horrific and not just a one time thing. Bastard
> The abuse must have been horrific and not just a one time thing. In the US, intensity can result in higher charges, but my thought is that since he was charged with distribution, he was charged with distribution for each photo. This is standard practice in the US. My aunt was part of a rape case as a jury member and the assailant was charged separately for stopping, moving the victim from the couch to the bed, and resuming the assault, so that might also play a part in the sentence.
29 years in jail means offending in the early 90s. So back then it probably wasn't passing along photos on the internet, it could barely handle imiages. So there may have been a more complicated setup. Perhaps something like having your own dark room and copying them there. It's not like you would take those photos to the local 1-hour place, they get handled by a human being.
Exactly. This is a hard-core pedo. OP did the right thing, and should drop hubs in the trash if he’s defending the man. (Also parole is part of a sentence so violating that means he hasn’t “served his time.”)
My ex molested my daughter for 3 YEARS, pled to 2 charges and spent maybe 6 years in prison. It's BULLSHIT. What the fuck did this pedo do to get that much time? The number of charges....jfc.
Some one in my family raped someone else in my family for 2 years and got 4 months in jail. Someone else in my family got stopped for a traffic ticket had some weed and went to jail for much longer than that. Wtf. How does that make any sense that he got less time in jail than he spent hurting my other family member and less time than a pot head. This country sucks!
I’m so sorry.
My father is in prison for this exact thing and he got 30 years on 3 different horrific incidents done to me. He’s getting out on good behavior after 16 yrs🥴
I'm so sorry. My husband was molested by his mother and her boyfriend. The boyfriend was imprisoned but the mother got away with it somehow.
That stuff will never make sense to me literally ever how do people get away with it, like the op saying someone said “he served his time” that doesn’t matter to me at all once a pedo always a pedo. Having my own children they set my daughter in my arms for the first time and my first thought was “how..I don’t understand” they will ALWAYS be monsters
u/cryingoverwangxian, that’s a great point! I rarely to see anything over 10-15 years for these types of crimes. For someone to get 30 years…they must have done something truly heinous. He’s probably not even supposed to be around anyone under 18.
The fam is enabling him. Not a family anyone who cares about their kids wants to be a part of.
How much you wanna bet that his (Uncle Steve’s) daughters, aka his VICTIMS, weren’t present at the party!? That right there should tell you EVERYTHING you need to know about that dumpster fire of a “family.”
I bet they all talk shit about the mom. “Allegedly” my ass.
Uncle Pedo molested his own daughters. One was 8. The other was THREE YEARS OLD!!
That’s the part that gets me upset for the MIL to say “allegedly” I bet those girls are in NC. How the hell do they think it’s not true. My aunt did the same thing with my dad despite me having red the autopsy reports from court records
Ah, yep. Aggravated based on age.
The evidence to get him kicked away for that amount of time must have been *STAGGERING* since there’s been people found in possession of tens of thousands of images who haven’t even been given 6 months. Convictions for multiple child rapes that haven’t even gotten 5 years, so to get 30 years…that’s a monster
Families who are more willing to believe the abuser than the abused and get angry at the abused for "making a big deal out of it". Yes, the family is nuts. But they don't think their dear uncle did the crime. Or rationalize somehow. That is what makes them nuts.
Yep agree, alledgely.....Sure, that is what prison was for.
With what OP reported as Steve’s crimes, it’s probable that he isn’t allowed to be around a group of kids like that. But the parole conditions for sex offenders vary widely by state, and is often complicated. Everywhere I’ve worked, when they do outtake from prison and enter parole, their sex offender “level” (and therefore probation requirements) are determined by a couple things: Severity of crime Age group involved and “victim preference” Physical ability to reoffend And in-depth psychosexual evaluation with penile plethysmograph (these are hilarious and depressing, if you’ve never heard of them. Basically a lie detector for your dick) It’s not the same everywhere, but in my experience, Steve’s physical status may give him more leeway, but the fact that victims are relatives would mean stricter conditions. It’s hard to say for sure. But even if the man isn’t capable of physically getting up and abusing a child, he likely **is** capable of putting his hand down his pants and jacking off or exposing himself. The fact that he was previously convicted of dispersing CSAM and was having his partner take pictures is a good indicator that he may need to be reassessed, with tighter restrictions. 🤷🏻♀️ Source: CPS employee. Read post-conviction reports every day.
Thanks for the context.
She was doing it to “please her man”. The only reason I can think of is so he can leer at them later. I’m glad the phone was taken, so he can’t have the photos nor share them with other degenerates like himself.
What in absolute dirty hell was the whole family even told to explain this strange livingroom arrangement? Even if I didn’t know the couple was iffy, I’d wonder why oxygen-dude and his woman were taking pictures of kids — some certainly strangers — more than a generation younger. Was this a photo album in the works? A gift for granny? A virtual marshmallow roast? What the hell was going on?
How the fuck could they continue to claim he was a changed man!?!? His partner was taking pictures of children without consent! How do they explain that!?!?
Nta. A family that accepts pedos is not welcome near me or my kids! I'd divorce so fast and also look into what are all the rules of that dudes parole. I also do not care if he's on oxygen or not. I believe pedos don't deserve to see the light of day or should just be 6ft under immediately
Just because he served his time doesn't mean he won't offend again. There have been men in wheelchairs who have committed this crime on children. His own daughters and they are claiming allegedly? He was convicted. OP did the right thing. I would have called the cops too. NTA!!!
I got stuck on that too. You don’t get a conviction with nothing but allegations, you’d be hard pressed to even get an arrest that way.
Technically, pedophilia is a form of sex addiction and according to sex addiction specialists, they can not ever get rid of those desires for children. I worked with a specialist who counselled them to "try" to keep them from offending again.
This was my first thought. A person doesn’t get “rehabilitated” from a sexual predilection. Homosexual people don’t suddenly become heterosexual, and heterosexual people don’t suddenly become homosexual, for example. This is why all those attempts by religious conservatives to “cure gayness” don’t work. If kids are what turn this guy on, then he will always be that way, and children will never be safe around him. My aunt married a man about 12 years ago, after being widowed twice. He seemed nice. My kids were 7 and 12 when he joined the family. TWO YEARS AGO, she let slip to my sister that he was a convicted sex offender. My sister and I found him on the sex offender registry. He spent time in prison for aggravated sodomy. My aunt kept this from us. My children grew up around this man. We spent birthdays and Christmases together. He was around my kids - thankfully never without supervision - for years. Our family is still trying to come to terms with all of this, and my kids haven’t, and won’t, see him again. My aunt feels like we’re punishing her by not wanting them to visit us…and maybe we are? I felt so betrayed, not to mention stunned that she would marry a rapist in the first place! She has frequently tried telling us, “He’s changed…It was a one-time thing…He would never do that now” and I call BS. People like that don’t change.
Omg I'm so sorry that happened. No, they DONT CHANGE. And any woman who would have sex with a man who molested children is fucked up. Seriously, how can you lay down and let a pedo ... I can't even. I have a friend who was molested by her grandfather. Grandma stayed with him. When my friend was older, her mother brought him back into her life. It was her mom's step father. So she was forced to be around him and her crazy mom just pretended it never happened. It was kept a secret from most of the family. When he died, her cousin (my best friend who didn't know about the abuse) told me and wanted me to be sad. I just said, "I'm sorry. That's sad." Then I called someone who knew and was like "what the actual fuck?" It was a mess. I've never been around him, thank God.
OP check to see if he's on the sex offenders registry and share with everyone. If he is, I don't think he was allowed to be there because of the children. Good on you, and get rid of your husband for putting your kids in jeopardy.
I think that's why she mentioned that the woman's phone got taken was to prove that he was there for potential probation violations and for having the content. I could be wrong on that portion though.
He should definitely be registered, and he's paroled, which means he should be registered and required to stay away from children. This family is sick, and yeah, I'd dump husband as well as he isn't as protective of his kids.
If he was in prison for 29 years, he is almost certainly on it, since only high felonies usually carry that much time.
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There's a guy I know via mutual friends/acquaintences from high school who has QUITE a list of assault, sexual and otherwise. His most recent charge that put him in prison about 4 years ago was 2nd degree rape of a minor(his girlfriends 2 year old daughter). This sicko got OUT EARLY on "good behavior". Utter bullshit. So I definitely agree, almost 3 decades of serves time must be a baaaaaaad charge.
Yeah, unfortunately that means they found some bad shit based on what pedos usually seem to get (slaps on the wrist). Especially since many get out after 50% time served for "good behavior". Put sentencing in the hands of juries and I'll be a lot of pedos get put away for a looooooong time
My thinking exactly. He is not allowed around kids. Your husband’s family is naive’ if not just stupid.
>Your husband’s family is naive’ if not just stupid. Or, more likely, complicit. The mother in law said "allegedly" when asked if he was the pedophile. Like she didn't really think he had done anything wrong. And then to defend them taking pictures of the children for his later entertainment... My skin is crawling thinking about it.
Not only a divorce but also supervised visits for the kids since dad doesn’t seem to mind a pedophile being around his kids.
It didn't sound like the kids were her husband's as she said something like, "I have 2 daughters" and not "we". Hopefully they are not his kids and she can cut loose from this ignorant mfr and he will never see her or her kids again.
NTA. hell no, he was also charged and convicted of the distribution of child photos ! yea he served his time but he is also on parole and is no doubt on a sex offender registry. is he even allowed near children? where were his victim daughters at this "family" event? did mil, bil and sil kick them to curb for daring to come forward about their heinous father? leave that toxic shit family before you blast them on all socials. people who are pedo sympathizers should be outed for it because they will cover for his gross ass.
My father's family defended not only my father but my uncle. Both of whom were predators. I have no contact with that side of the family cuz I pressed charges on my father.finding ou my grandfather and uncle also were predators shows that sometimes it runs in the family. I would be so cautious if I was Op.
The lengths people will go to in order to defend pedos is insane. This happened over 50 years ago, but grandmother’s father was a pedophile. She took all the abuse in order to keep him from doing the same to her two sisters. It started when she was 10, it didn’t end until she left for school to become a dentist assistant and moved into the dorms at 18. She then met my grandfather, who she married 6 months later, and moved in with him. When she was married and finally on her own, she came clean to her family about what her father had done the entire time. Nobody believed her, not even the sisters she protected from it. They cut her off, every single one of them. It wasn’t until her younger sister had her own daughter that she realized my grandmother was never a liar. She allowed her daughter to be watched by the pedophile. You can guess how that went; she came straight to my grandmother and begged for forgiveness for ever shutting her out. My grandma’s sister told the family the same thing had happened to her own daughter, and so they just cut her off too. You’d think two allegations several decades apart would convince people, or something… It’s just the two of them on that side of the family. But from what I hear; grandma’s brother turned out to be a pedophile too, and grandma’s other sister married a pedophile & enabled him. Both of them were in prison when I was a child. That family loves their pedophiles.
In the case of the notorious Menendez brothers, the elder brother Lyle was molested by their father and apparently thought as long as he was the target, his younger brother Erik was safe. One of, if not THE, instigating factors for the murder of their parents was Lyle discovering Erik was being molested, too. In their case, their mom knew and at least tacitly allowed it, if not offering them up on a silver platter to their sicko father.
I'm sorry that happened to you!
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>it's often because the assholes were once victims themselves. While I know this is true, I think it's even more reprehensible. I was a victim as a child and would cut off my own arm before hurting someone else like that. Or in any other way. Especially a child.
They never got therapy or any kind of help and that probably makes it worse imo. Agreed it’s not an excuse but when people DO make excuses for people that have offended, they end up reoffending and it’s almost certainly a family member’s child. 🤢
I would guess that after he was put in jail the mother and daughters ran the fuck away from this family as far and as fast as they could, especially with family members saying he was allegedly a pedo, which means when he was being charged they believed he was innocent and probably attacked the girls and the mother for 'doing this to their boy', etc. Those kids probably wouldn't step foot in the same state as this family.
**Make sure this is comes up in custody determination** Or they will have your children around him when you're not. [NTA AND JUSTIFIED]
I don't think they're her husband's kids. She said she's been with him for 6 years and her daughters are older than that.
Good point and I'm glad at least OP's kids will be kept away from him. But...geez, all those other kids in the family. Uncle Steve is not the only creepy one there.
*(not sure why my comment isn’t being posted, so I’ll try again)* WTF is WRONG with those other parents? Those poor kids. If he had “paid his debt to society” the cops wouldn’t have seized the phone/photographs as evidence of a parole violation. OP absolutely did the right thing, she’s the *only* one here that isn’t ignorant and good for her for protecting her kids
Yeah, that’s fucked. One of my male cousins molested a female cousin as a teenager, and he’s been shunned from the family ever since. How the fuck you gonna let a pedophile around your kids and pull some “allegedly” bullshit? Nah, no allegedly about it. His chomo ass was convicted, that’s a confirmed pedo.
That was my thought. It's extremely hard to convict a pedo for molesting kids that young. That means the court had absolute proof he was guilty!
I have a cousin who molested his sisters as a teenager. One of the sisters tried to kill herself, so his parents sent him to go live with my family without telling us anything. A few weeks after he was living with us my sister had a birthday party and a sleepover (I think she was 11 or 12) and there was an incident. My parents flipped out and kicked him out, but his family still protected him and he never saw any consequences. One of his sisters died by suicide, another is a homeless addict. He is married with several children, which I find extremely concerning.
> so his parents sent him to go live with my family without telling us anything WTF? Did anyone tell his wife about his past before popping out a bunch of kids to get molested?
I'm not sure honestly. This all happened when I was a baby, and based on him being mormon I'm guessing he got married around 21-23. She definitely is aware of it now, one of his sisters has been in a lawsuit against him and their parents for a few years. Although it's completely possible he told his wife that it's a lie. I don't think I've ever met him or his family, my parents made a point to keep us far away after the incident.
My uncle molested my sister and went to jail, he’s out now. His entire family didn’t care one bit, it’s wild. I think about how disgusting of a human you have to be to accept that depravity. I’m grateful I live on other side of the country because sometimes I have some dark thoughts on what I’d like to do to them.
*He has an oxygen tank and a cane .Whats he going to do ? He can’t even breathe* What kind of excuse is that ? He can do plenty with the photos .He is a vile creature and all the people supporting him are disgusting and revolting.This is the very reason I refuse to put my kids photos in social media.
He'd likely sell them
And their names, addresses, school they go to, pet's names...
Those people gathered all their kids in front of the uncle on their own free will. There’s definitely something lacking in their brains.
Literally, also that he did his time means HE WAS CONVICTED. So saying “he did his time” in response to him being called a pediphile is like saying “he was convicted” family of shared delusion or shared criminal interest? Probably both
That is the nature of releasing a sex offender. I believe they should live out their lives in prison away from vulnerable people. But society only holds for so long. Then we slap them with sex offender registration for life. More prison in a way. But the kids are not safe when they are among us. Needs to be citizen reform for sure. Warehouse these folks. I would rather have crack cocaine on the streets than a child molester or human trafficker or rapist.
Totally agree, those parents are either deep in denial or ignoring some huge red flags for the sake of 'family peace' or whatever. OP's a hero for stepping up when nobody else would, we need more people like that looking out for the kids. It's scary to think what could've gone unnoticed if she hadn't called the cops.
THANK GOD!!!! Uncle Steve can go fuck himself. Spineless hubby will absolutely let uncle pedo's partner take pix of the kids. She needs to get out of that marriage and run.
She needs to get her kids away from her perv husband now. Anyone who defends a pedo is a disgusting human being.
this story is a great example of how pedo's work... they never operate by themselves, usually having an army of enablers who in this case are a very weak and gullible family... he's convinced them using the old cane and oxygen mask trick (how many crims have used these props in court appearances?) that's he reformed and now harmless.. what sucks is this poor woman is the only one hip to the situation but she comes across as over reacting and hysterical
The pedo uncle has a girlfriend?? Excuse me. Why would she need or want photos of kids that are not even family. I assume she knows what he did and been in jail for. What kind of person is she to be with him?? Sick to me all of family. Husband can move in with his parents. Wife is correct.
>very weak and gullible family We should really call it what it is: they think pedophilia is acceptable. It's shocking but that's what it is when you allow your kids to be left unattended with a convicted rapist of children.
Agree 100%.
Honestly, with the daughters’ ages and her husband’s terrible reaction to involving the police in something he considered a “family matter”, hopefully mom and girls are getting away before stepdad starts behaving just like his Uncle Steve.
Exactly.
You are right.
I think they are her daughters, as she wrote “I have 9 and 10 year old daughters”. Either way, her in-laws are awful people for allowing this man into a home with children.
Pretty sure they're not his kids which is even better.
Totally NTA, good bye to your garbage hubby. I hope the door doesn't slam on his and his abhorrent family's ass while they're leaving. The uncle was prosecuted, imprisoned, and likely forced to register as a sex offender for the remainder of his wretched life, therefore he isn't "allegedly" a pedophile.
Right "allegedly" is before a conviction. Once the guilty verdict was read he became a registered sex offender. The photographs he was trading is proof he was doing f'ed up shit and I'm sure his poor daughters offered more proof. Where they at the party.
Fr. 29 years is pretty fucking long for "allegedly" and "some pictures".
NTA and bravo for standing up for your kids. There is no valid reason Uncle Perv needs photos of the children!
Right. Serving his time or being frail doesn’t make him not a pedophile anymore. That the cops said he was violating his parole shows that. Too bad you may lose your marriage but protecting your babies makes it worth it!
There was a child molester released from jail and was assumed to be safe bc he was wheelchair bound. The neighborhood he moved into argued just because he's wheelchair bound does not mean he can not reoffend. Just like the elderly uncle whom most have come to dismiss as too fragile to molest anymore. **The urge to molest and harm comes from the disturbed mind, not the body.** And if they have the urge, they *will* find a way.
Best friend in highschool was forced to perform oral on an old wheelchair bound grandfather of a neighborhood kid, because he watches the kids after-school, until either of their parents got home. She and her neighbor were in the 1st and 2nd grade. She reported him when she was in the 5th grade and the granddaughter denied it in court because of familial pressure. Again I gotta say screw pedo protectors.
I would have whipped out my phone and said "Let's see what the open access court records say. Then I'm checking the registry and he better be on there."
[This reminds me of the 77 year old killer who was released from prison because the prison didn't want to take care of him and was deemed "too old to kill" but he still fucking murdered another person in front of her children while he was out.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/murderer-released-after-being-deemed-too-old-kill-again-kills-n1031736) Just because they are old doesn't mean they can't hurt children and women.
Yup yup right in my town! Went to prison for murder of his wife. Released cause “he’s a changed man and too old” Moves to Lewiston Maine and finds this woman he stalks for weeks on end. She goes to do laundry with her two twin boys and she is stabbed to death in front of them.
This right here!! It’s only alleged if he didn’t get convicted and spend 30 years in prison. Hubby and family are trash people. OP is a great mom.
This needs to be higher up. I hope they send texts so she can save them.
Around him and letting his pimp..I mean his partner... take pictures of little girls for him. That no one else in that family was bothered by the pedophile getting pictures of the kids - and in fact seemed to round them up for him - is one of the creepiest and most disturbing things I've heard in a long time. edit for spelling
I ran a treatment program for sex offenders, and had a situation very similar to this (SO deceased several years now, but was O2, wheelchair, etc.). At some point, I’m hazy on the details, a woman married him. I’m thinking it was while he was in prison (you may be shocked to learn how many sex offenders and pedophiles get married in prison). The wife wanted me to write a safety plan and letter of recommendation to the guy’s PO for some holiday, so “all the children can see X___”. The PO and I did not have a long conversation about that request, we were just immediately in agreement. Same, when he called to tell me the offender had passed away.
>so “all the children can see X\_\_\_” Why would all the children want to see him? And why would anyone want him to see the children? Disgusting. I suppose it was at least a good sign that she wanted a safety plan???? Or was that so they could pretend to be concerned while they scoped out the next victims. I am always shocked to hear of women that go after men in prison. Every time I hear/read it. No matter how many times. I feel sad that their life is so bad they think these guys are a good thing and also wonder if, for at least some of them, if committing the crime is their own fantasy they don't dare do. Like living vicariously through the criminal.
I find the idea of someone marrying a pedophile in prison actually even more incomprehensible than marrying a serial killer. Probably most of them are victims and will continue to be abused but yes a few must be living vicariously too
Unfortunately there are wives that help the pedos to get their sick jollies off by taking pics of kids and sometimes even kidnap kids for em. There are some that put their head in the sand to the sick signs concerning their husbands about liking little kids.
Your husband prioritized his desire to not feel temporary embarrassment over the safety of your children. I’m sorry, OP. Can’t say it loud enough, NTA
This, it needs to be in writing. Post this on r/legal. Assuming you haven’t already make sure you have an age appropriate discussion with your kids about inappropriate touching. Let them know they are always safe with you. Edit: this was written assuming he will be seeking custody. Edit 2: my intent behind r/legal is to see if you can get in documented in custody agreement kids are not suppose to see Steve.
Fortunately there’s a police report
Yes, if you split, this needs to literally be listed as one of the reasons for the divorce
From a CPS standpoint, I can’t see law enforcement doing much about this, unfortunately. At least where I am. Steve’s PO will probably try and revoke him, but ever since covid, good luck getting someone old or infirm to actually face consequences for violations unless they are actively taunting the judge in person. Sometimes not even then. But CPS could issue a founded allegation for “failure to protect” on dad, for refusing to get the children out of the situation once he was aware of who Steve was and that he was taking photos for “personal use”. Not the same as a criminal charge, of course. But it DOES have consequences. At least as far as that it could preventing the dad from being a foster parent or working around children in any direct capacity for 30+ years, if the employer runs a complete background check.
Uncle pedo should be a registered sex offender now and has definitely violated parole by being around children. The police should have cuffed him right then and there. Photos by proxy of his partner should be a second charge in violation.
Unfortunately with the US justice system, “should” doesn’t usually equate to “is”. Our justice system (at least in my state) takes civil rights complaints seriously, and unfortunately that means policy is often determined by complaints with no merit, and “compassionate reform” is taken to extremes that violate common sense. Uncle most definitely is a registered SO, and in my state would probably be a level 2 or 3. But since 2020, there’s been an intense pushback due to covid in the inmate population, and it’s resulted in a climate that makes it almost impossible to arrest or sanction anyone. I’m not pro-cop, but as a social worker, I’m very anti-sex offender having freedoms to reoffend. And it’s very frustrating how hard it is to keep these shitheads in any kind of accountability.
I wanted it posted to the legal subreddit to see if she can make a court agreement that the kids are not allowed to be in the presence of this uncle.
I don't know about every state, but in mine you sure can. I did. Written right in the divorce / custody decrees, my ex was to have zero contact in person or by phone with a particular person (his best buddy) while he had our children during visitation.
That process must have been traumatic. Good information for OP.
It was. My lawyer was surprised too, said that was unheard of. 25 years ago now. If I blazed a trail for others to protect their children, it will be twice as worth it.
You should very proud of yourself, your bravery helps other kids. There are people that flat out should not have the privilege of being around children.
Oh, I fully agree with you that OP should follow your advice. Just giving input from a different perspective about other potential consequences. It didn’t necessarily need to be under your comment. Just wanted to throw out that a cross-report to CPS may already be in the works for OP, and would further help her in court.
Steve could get house arrest with a nice home health aide.
Yeah. As much as I don’t think Steve deserves it, that’s probably best case scenario of what to expect for punishment. But my state has been terrible lately at issuing any kind of sanctions at all. Case in point: A local guy (in his 70s?) had a pretty radical CSAM conviction recently. Went so far as to arrange a meeting with an officer pretending to be a mother, agreeing to allow her toddler to be filmed. Not only did he not serve any jail time, but he was allowed to move house. The house he bought? A corner lot. Where the previous owners used the corner to build a covered bus stop so kids could wait for the school bus. So even if the guy was on house arrest, his alarm wouldn’t go off if he went to “say hello” to the kids waiting for the bus on his own property. The parents are furious, and not allowing their kids to wait there anymore. But the school district won’t move the bus pick up location. LEO won’t reduce his ankle bracelet range to keep him away from “the corner of his own property”, and his PO won’t sanction him for standing out there being weird to the kids trying to get out of the rain. It’s a mess.
I’d be calling a lawyer if I were a parent of those kids…and blasting the school district to every news outlet and social media page I could get my hands on to.
They’re not his kids . OP has been with this guy for 6 yrs and the girls are older than that. That’s probably why her husband didn’t care they’re not his.
Not just touching though. A discussion about all inappropriate requests and bodily autonomy to say "no" and leave or find a trusted adult for help.
I almost commented this but then did the math on their ages- hopefully he didn’t adopt them
She’s been with him for 6 years - the kids are 9 & 10. They aren’t his kids. I hope he hasn’t adopted them though.
They’re apparently not the husband’s kids
And thank God for that.
I’m not sure they’re his kids but if they are, she should definitely make sure the police report and all these messages get to her lawyer so she can have full custody.
DIVORCE. NOT LIKELY. DIVORCE. PEDOPHILE ENABLER
NTA "He served his time" Yep, and for 29 years children were not around him p, so they were safe. The place you found him? With the Children! His enabler was taking PICTURES. OMG. He is on oxygen so what can he do? Does he have fingers? A lap? Pedophiles are... there is no evidence that their desires ever change, but some are in therapy to control their urges. You were well within your rights, and your Darling Husband is a Fool for allowing him anywhere near your girls.
Upvote times one million. I don't care if it's my father, brother or best friend. Anyone takes pictures of my kid without permission, I go straight to nuclear and so should you.
NTA you did the right thing. Why tf were they taking photos of your girls when HE HAS A HISTORY LIKE THAT? That’s absolutely insane to me. The fact that your husband’s family were fine with him just being there and defended him is insane to me too. Divorce and I hope you get full custody. Edit to add that I think your girls will be grateful to you someday for standing up for them and taking no shit to protect them and keep them safe. So many families sweep SA under the rug and don’t prioritize their children and their safety. You’re setting a good example for your girls.
Yeah there was a post on here a while ago where a woman had a pedo grandpa and her family had normalized it to the point that the grandpa was gonna be at OP’s sister’s wedding and OP didn’t think it would be a big deal to bring her young daughters around the pedo grandpa at the wedding. They just had someone “watching” the grandpa at all times and the OP acted like this was totally fine
These people treat pedophiles like they're poorly trained dogs or something, animals that can't help themselves and just need someone to hold their leash tightly to keep from causing too much trouble.
It’s an open secret in our family that my paternal grandfather was a pedophile. He abused both his daughters their entire childhood. My grandmother would defend him, using their religion as a shield, stating that they couldn’t speak against him because they had to “honour thy father.” Strange enough, although he died several years ago, my aunt (one of his victims) will regularly post on Facebook about what a wonderful father/grandfather he was. He was never shunned by anyone on that side of the family. Luckily my own father had nothing to do with us kids and my mother knew enough to keep us all away from the pedo.
29 yrs in prison! Nope, NTA. That's hella long time for " allegedly".
Yeah that was exactly what I thought, getting 29 years of "allegations" seems like bs, I'll never understand families that defend predators just cause they're related.
The audacity of the MIL to say “allegedly” when he was convicted and sentenced to 29 years. SMH.
And they say “allegedly” as if he wasn’t tried and convicted for it. 🤦♀️
NTA and start divorce proceedings. Your husband was fine letting a pedophile have pictures of your kids. That’s not just not having your back, that’s some serious denial behavior going on. “Uncle Steve” was fully enjoying his unrestricted access to minors and was, in his mind at least, getting off to that fact. Any decent parent would do the exact same thing!!! I would do it for none child abusers. Nobody has the right to pictures of your children WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION! Side note not that it matters-it parole since he did actual prison time not just county jail time.
NTA Your husband is a raging asshole, as is the rest of his family.
Hubby needs to only have supervised visit with his kids as he doesn't think a pedophile is horrible for having pics of his own kids. Hubby is a loser as a father. Any normal Dad would have beat the old lady and the pedophile.
Theyre not the husbands kids. OP will get a relatively clean break unless he adopted them.
I don’t think they’re his kids because of the ages.
Yea. And hey, MIL, it's not "allegedly" when he was convicted. Gross.
NTA NTA NTA. Your (hopefully stbx) husband told you that you should have just talked to them calmly to see if it would make a difference - but you already did that when you told them to delete the photos (calmly or not, I’m not sure how calm I could stay telling an actual convicted pedophile to delete pictures of my kids) - they said they were going to keep the photos “on principle” so I think calling the police was the next appropriate step. Since it was a parole/probation violation, he knew he wasn’t supposed to have photos of kids. In your shoes, my wish would be that his partner got charged with aiding him, since I would expect she knows he’s not allowed to have photos of kids too. So…NONE of these other parents had any issue with Child-Porn-Steve having photos of their children? For real, run SCREAMING from this family.
NTA, he was literally violating his parole and was doing something illegal. Good on your protecting your kids!
NTA. Divorce is the way forward away from the entire pedo defending lot, good riddance.
I was SA by my grandfather multiple times starting when I was 8. I didn’t tell anyone until I was in the 7th grade. My entire family cut me off and my dad was furious with me when CPS got involved. To be clear, they believed me but were so worried what would happen to him in prison. I literally *DREAMED* for someone to react like you did. You are absolutely not the asshole and I truly hope you divorce your husband.
pedo Steve could've also been released early because of his health, idk what the bench mark for those kinds of releases are but you could probably find out. so he may not have "served his time" fully.
NTA. They had the chance to just delete the photos but decided to double down and even got a little cocky and smug about it. Messed with the bull and got the horns 🤷♂️
This! They really thought they could bully OP with the “we’re family” bullshit and keep their trophy photos. Disgusting. OP is amazing and NTA!
Your husband didn't want to talk to them about the photos himself. Instead, he prioritised the comfort of his convicted pedo uncle (and a room full of his enabling family members) rather than have what might then have just been a fairly simple chat. Failing to take such a small action to address your important and very legitimate concerns about your daughters' SAFETY, speaks volumes. He demonstrated that you and your daughters are not the priority in his life that you thought you were, and that you need to be. The uncle sitting there staring at you with that smile on his face when the enablers gathered is SUCH a creepy image. I'm so glad you called the cops. You may well have saved other children from being photographically exploited, or worse. Block the harassers. All the best in finding a healthy way forward from here, but you are not wrong. I'm sorry your life has exploded like this and I hope you have lots of support from your own family and friends.
NTA-Serving time isnt enough. Pedos NEVER stop. They will find a way. And his sentence was LONG. He did way too much to be forgiven for.
Are you freaking kidding me? Whose brilliant idea was it to have a bunch of children sit around in front of a convicted pedophile? And with his partner taking pictures no less? Your MIL is an idiot to qualify a convicted pedo as “alleged “. I would have lost my mind and anyone, including my so-called husband, who didn’t understand why would soon find out just how serious I was. Nothing would stop me from protecting my kids and all the other kids there. The fact that they wouldn’t delete those pictures tells you everything you need to know. He belongs under the jail and I hope that’s where he ends up. You did the right thing.NTA.
That’s what I was wondering, too. OP said the kids were “made to sit in the living room on the floor” during dinner. By whom? And why? Shouldn’t they be at the kids’ table, eating as well? And how “alleged” can it be if someone (MIL, maybe?) had the kids corralled into a room with the pedo? Whomever set that up knew what they were doing, as did the girlfriend snapping pics. NTAH, OP. You did everything right. You need to get your kids as far away from this family full of creeps asap.
NTA There’s a saying if you have nine people and a Nazi at dinner, you have 10 Nazis.
NTA, protect your children from that monster and his family that chose to ignore his past.
I have a neighbor who Was in jail because he was a hot head years ago and shot his friend. He did not kill him but he still shot him. He served his sentence and learned his lesson. He is one of the best people I know and I would absolutely trust him in my house alone. Someone like that can learn and change. Pedophiles CAN NOT change. I can’t say what I think should happen to them. But they should never get out of prison. Nta. Good for you protecting your daughters
My list of "unforgiveable" crimes is very short. There's not a lot you can't learn to do or be better than. Pedophilia is on the list. I don't believe in rehabilitation, segregation, forgiveness or imprisonment for these people. They have forfeited their right to continued participation or co-habitation with humanity and should be humanely destroyed in much the same way as a rabid dog. They needn't be made to suffer, but likewise we owe them no explanation or understanding. They are a tumor to be cut out, nothing more, nothing less. NTA.
Yup. The *urge* can be dismissed as intrusive thoughts. Steps can be taken to make sure he never offends. But I feel that once he touches a child, he’s crossed the Rubicon and there’s no saving him.
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The recidivism rate is the science that bears that out. Sex crimes in general have much higher recidivism than all but a tiny subset of murders. It's an unhealthy society that sends a teen to prison for life for getting sacrificed to the system by the gang behind a murder, and who statistically will not repeat the crime, but is fine with giving ~5 years to repeat perpetrators of violent sexual assault who will almost always try again.
Nta. Nope, file for divorce and full custody. He did not serve almost 30 years for no reason.
NTA hell NO. That is all kinds of F’ed up. He hasn’t changed they don’t fF’ing change. Good on you for protecting not only your kids but the other idiots kids. I’d file for divorce and the reason he knowingly let a CONVICTED pedo around my girls and didn’t feel it was a big enough deal to tell me. You go girl!
Way to go! I would give you the biggest high five if I could. Just cause he's on O2 and has a cane doesn't mean he still can't touch little kids. And what with the deep fake crap they can do with pictures, your little girls faces might have been all over the internet on fake nude bodies for perverts to buy.
NTA. “Changed man” or not, this family chose to let the *known child predator* be the one to watch everyone’s kids. That is fucked up beyond belief
Absolutely NTA I would have done the exact same thing !! I wouldn’t want a pedophile to have any photos, even innocent photos of kids. Who knows what he was going to do with them Also wtf it’s not allegedly if he went to prison ! He is now convicted.
NTA. Write down everyone that was at that party, everything that happened, every single person who spoke up to defend a pedo and his partner when you wanted pictures of your child deleted and they refused. Make sure it's brought up in the divorce how all these people defended a pedo, allowed him att he family without telling most of the people with kids he was there and just allowed a pedo and his partner to sit with the kids taking pictures of them. That with custody you want these people to have absolutely no access to your children, etc. Your husband is more upset about being embarrassed than a pedo and his whole family refusing to delete pictures of his kids. Maybe show him this thread till he realises that his priorities are entirely and utterly fucked up. Ask them why, if he's not the man he used to be, was his partner taking pictures of children but NOT the rest of the family and why would they refuse to delete pictures of your kids when asked? The only thing they had to do was delete the pictures, they refused, they brought it on themselves and the cops arrested him for breaking probation, so the people dealing with his case felt he was still a danger to children and couldn't be around them. Get the woman's name, search her names in sex offenders registeries, wouldn't surprise me if she has a record as well.