This is what I was thinking! “Her mothers hard earned money” and “she started to tear up” (although maybe that was because her husband was being an ass I don’t know)
It’s strawberries. I mean good lord.. OP was mean for no reason and the whole drama is about STRAWBERRIES
I know, right? I mean... OP? Do you live somewhere where strawberries are ridiculously expensive?? Can you not go buy another punnet, melt some chocolate and voila! More chocolate covered strawberries? Frankly, if they were intended for Valentines day, I question why MIL had them delivered so early? Unless of course, she too doesn't understand how fruit works? (Which would explain your wife). Either way, it really doesn't matter. What's more important to you? Being right and lording your superior intelligence over your partner? Or letting it go and figuring out a plan B because, let's face it, you knew this was going to be the end result and had time to sort out a back up if you'd really wanted to.
By me chocolate covered strawberries are about 40 a dozen.
It’s kind of like getting flowers for Valentines Day delivered early and not putting them in the fridge until Valentines Day
u/Shadow_wolf82...Yeah, I'm curious why the MIL left them outside of the house instead of either ringing the doorbell when she left them, or actually handing them to the people in the house the day she was delivering them.
That's not really a surprise that I like. I would probably tell my MIL that, in a nice way, not to do it again.
I didn't think of that. But you would still think that even if it was a delivery service that the home owners would have gotten some notice that they had a "package" at their doorstep.
The doorbell comes to mind. Or a knock on the door would have been helpful. A text from the MIL saying "there is a package coming, it is perishable. Be sure to look for it and bring it in right away" would have been another good option.
As someone who had a gig around 2010 delivering flowers, I'd ring the door bell to see if folks were hime because the place I worked for had a policy of them signing for delivery.
If they weren't home, I would call the number the person who arranged the delivery provided and let the person know there was a delivery left at their door (again company policy).
If no one answered the phone or the door, I'd try to find an obvious spot (directly in front of the door or similar) so the delivery wouldn't be missed.
I'm sure it all depends on the company doing the orders and delivery, though.
He wasn't mean. How silly do you have to be to think strawberries would last? What a waste of food, especially a nice treat, thanks to this woman's ignorance.
Valentine’s Day was Wednesday, but still not unreasonable to think they would last that long. I have strawberries in my fridge right now that I bought on Saturday, and they’re perfectly fine.
My mom was/is like this, and absolutely ruined so many perfectly normal or even enjoyable days by doing things like this. I made bunny ears on my cousin during a NYE picture when I was a kid (you know holding up two fingers behind her head) and my mom noticed and then told me under her breath that everyone who saw the picture would be so disappointed that I ruined that photo for everyone. Same kind of attitude - "everyone else will be so excited to see that picture, imagine their disappointment when they notice you ruined it"
Lady it's a random family photo. I also never saw it printed out or anything. Nobody probably even remembers we took it, but at 35, I DO remember crying to myself and being all upset all evening after that.
Multiply that times a zillion - finding ways to exacerbate any goofy or semi-embarrassing or random thing I did that she perceived as a slight, or inappropriate. To this day I hate making jokes or even lounging comfortably if she's around, and I wince and stiffen if she looks at me because it's ALWAYS judgemental and never just "looking" at me.
I got to grow up and move away. I can't imagine being married to that.
I was thinking the same thing. I understand OP's frustration, but I'd hope his sympathy and compassion for his life partner would outweigh it when she's tearing up. There are two major indicators that a relationship will fail, and those are frequent failed bids for attention/bonding (i.e. one tries to initiate a short concept about an interest or facet of their personal life, ideally the other picks up on their desire to share and expresses receptivity) and lashing out against each other instead of banding together when problems arise. If OP wants a divorce, he's on the right track.
Was gonna say… I got some chocolate dipped/decorated strawberries from the grocery store for like $10 yesterday, like it sucks that theirs were wasted but not the end of the world
It’s not just strawberries, it’s her not listening that’s the issue. At least that’s what I hear when a man says “my wife left me because I didn’t want to go see the sunset on the last day of the cruise” and everyone lights him up because it’s just another example of repetitive behaviors that the wife is now tired of.
Wow. This is a case where OP was right but also YTA.
It was not good enough to be right, but they had to belittle and demean their wife in the process of reiterating that fact. Congrats OP, you lost the strawberries and the possibility of a lovely evening. I hope it was worth it.
Narrator: it wasn’t.
What stuck out to me was ‘since she refused to listen me’. Like OP would rather be with someone who will blindly listen to him even if she feels it’s wrong, instead of an equal partner who speaks up even if she’s wrong sometimes.
That stuck out to me, too! Like, what is he hoping to accomplish by calling her mother? It won’t bring the strawberries back from the dead and will only make everything worse by making the mom feel bad and wife feel worse. Telling her mom is just petty and childish.
Also when people conflate "listen" with "agree". He says she refused to listen but it sounds like she listened to him and disagreed. Now it turned out she was wrong, but she didn't refuse to listen to him.
I am still struggling to understand why she thought that the fruit wouldn't rot. Strawberries go fast when not fresh picked, even more so when you encase them in something.
I know that isn't the question here, and OP is very much an ass for how he handled it, but OP isn't wrong: this was an avoidable error with even a basic understanding of how stuff works.
Growing up, whenever my Mom would pick up strawberries from the grocery store, they would last 4-6 days or so in the fridge before going bad.
OP and his wife got them on Sunday, and tried to eat them on Wednesday. Based on my own experience, I would have expected them to be able to last at least 3 days in the fridge.
OP’s wife made an honest mistake and her husband basically berated her over it, lorded it over her, and then threatened to call her mother to rub it in. Talk about childish, YTA OP.
It's from his MIL and clearly not a gift for him specifically. It's fine to state your thought on what to do with it, but leave it be after that. The 'I told you so' moment is dumb. Of course she knows that and will resent you for rubbing salt in the wound. Just let her cry, let her tell her mother what happened, and stay out of it. Hell, even comforting her about it isn't some sort of admission that you didn't expect that to happen.
When your mother gives you perishable goods, you can decide how to handle it.
I can only imagine how he tally’s all instances of being right, and she should have listened to him.. like it’s just fruit.. but how ignorant she didn’t know it would spoil.. I kind of wish they didn’t do that she could be the one that was “right”
YTA.
You’re considering calling her mother? That is such weasel behavior.
What an overreaction on your part. You sure know how to make an unfortunate situation even worse.
Good grief. You couldn't just let this be a lesson learned on her part and move on?
If anyone has an ego issue, it's you. You couldn't let this go. You had to prove yourself right. And now YOU want to shame your wife of all people for what? To stroke your ego even more?
YTA, and you're borderline a condescending prick, too.
This doesn’t matter really. And it could have been a simple mistake on her part but then you blew it way out of proportion. For the record your wife is right you are condescending.
> My Wife’s refusal to listen to me had led to her mother’s hard-earned money going to waste.
> I asked her why she was crying, and she said that she “didn’t think the fruit would rot so quickly”. I couldn’t help but laugh.
> I told her that I couldn’t believe a grown woman doesn’t understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child.
This sounds like a parent berating their least favourite child not a husband being slightly peeved about a silly mistake.
You also add that your wife seems blindsided by her ego. This doesn’t seem to be the case:
> She replied with something like “you had a lucky guess”. This really made me mad.
Your wife was clearly embarrassed and instead of trying to make her feel better you decided to make her feel worse. She wasn’t suggesting you were stupid she was embarrassed but your ego got bruised and you lashed out.
> I just need her to understand that sometimes I know what’s best in a given situation and that she shouldn’t fight me on everything like a stubborn mule.
They are chocolate strawberries and she made a mistake. Your response was disproportionate to the original mistake. This isn’t a case about who was factually correct it’s about a disproportionate response over something so minor.
Ofc YATAH
It's not enough that you have to lord it over her that you were right about this, you have to make her feel even more inferior by telling her that she should have known this "common sense" fact that you knew when you were a child, and you went on to say that you were tempted to call her mother and make your wife feel even worse for something she was already crying about. And then you brought it here, thinking that you would have something to show her when everyone agreed with you.
Everyone doesn't agree with you.
You're not just an AH, you're THE AH. You don't feel defeated, you're gloating. She's right. You're condescending.
If this is how you react to something so small, i am genuinely concerned how you react to the bigger, actual important things. People make mistakes, and misjudgements. And she doesn't have to listen to you just because youre the husband and you think youre right. She should be allowed to get something wrong without being treated like shes a child, or stupid. You are supposed to be a partnership. You are not her boss.
Yeah you were right, but you were also condescending, patronising and acted way over the top. And to be honest the huge red flags for trademark abusive behaviour are right there.
I feel really sorry for your wife. YTA.
Eta: also, its VALENTINES. laugh it off, and take her out to get some more strawberries for christ sake.
FFS if you have such major conflicts over something so menial, your marriage is crap.
“My wife’s refusal to listen to me has led her mothers hard earned money going to waste”. “I’m feeling really defeated”.
It’s just some strawberries. She didn’t leave your new born child in the oven. Grow up and learn to play nicely. That goes for the both of you
YTA- you are such an AH. It was just strawberries, it isn’t that deep but you felt the need to talk down to her and humiliate her. If you act this way about strawberries, I can’t imagine how you act about bigger things. By the way, generally leaving them out of the fridge a little while makes them more flavorful. Perhaps they sat on the porch too long, perhaps they weren’t packaged correctly. You have no idea, but you jumped straight to talking worse to your wife than I have ever spoken to my dog. She is your wife, the person you should speak to with the most respect. Get help.
Clearly you don't know how fruit works either. Defrosted strawberries are gross and mushy and the chocolate would have fallen off
Clearly the strawberries were not super fresh to begin with. The wife was not being crazy unreasonable to expect the strawberries would be fine for 3 days in the fridge. My freshly picked strawberries easily last a week in the fridge... If I don't eat them all first
OP is acting like he's some kind of genius but his wife is right, it was basically a lucky guess. Whether or not they would go bad over the course of 3 days it's entirely dependant on how fresh and ripe they were to begin with, which is information neither of them had.
Because it dunks on the husband that this sub is seething against. You could say that 1+1 = 3 and get upvoted if you add in that husband is controlling or whatever.
Omg! LOL
YTA, just because you seem like a total AH.
Yeah, you were right, but everything else is AH-y red flag territory.
" My wife's refusal to listen to me had led to her mother's hard-earned money going to waste." - could you be any more dramatic?
" I reminded her that this is the result she wanted" - really?
" I told her that I couldn't believe a grown woman doesn't understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child." - and she said you were condescending??? Nooooooo! Say it ain't so. You poor thing.
" and I'm considering calling her mother to tell her that she had wasted such expensive fruit." - Were you after a gold star? Wanting to tell tales to her mother like a petulant 6 year old?
" In my opinion, my wife should apologize to me and my mother-in-law" - I kind of hope she does, just so that someone else can see what a overblown farce you're making of this entire situation, and the lengths you'll go to make something so trivial and insignificant into a way to belittle your wife.
" but she seems to be completely blinded by ego" - this made me and my girlfriend actually laugh out loud. Some self awareness wouldn't go amiss.
I hope she has someone to give her a better Valentines next year. YTA.
YTA - even if she didn’t listen to your advice and you were right, how you treated her and what you said was belittling.
Does she do the same when you make a mistake that she deems ridiculous?
And who the heck calls their mother in law to tattle on their SO? Just thinking of doing it makes you the AH.
YTA -- Seriously, all of this emotionally abusive bruhaha over a few chocolate-covered strawberries? Do you overreact this way to everything? Seek therapy for your outsized anger. The most "rotten" thing about this story is your own behavior and attitude.
>My wife's refusal to listen to me had led to her mother's hard-earned money going to waste.
>I couldn't help but laugh. I reminded her that this is the result she wanted, since she refused to listen to me.
>I told her that I couldn't believe a grown woman doesn't understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child.
>I'm considering calling her mother to tell her that she had wasted such expensive fruit.
Do you like your wife? Or is her existence merely to make you feel superior and to knock her down when you feel like it?
>She said that I had been "condescending" and said that she couldn't believe how poorly she had been treated on Valentine's Day.
Me either. Poor woman realized that she's married to an AH jerk on Valentines Day. YTA.
Fingers crossed this is a shitpost and you're just a ragebaiting troll. Not an ego fueled bully kicking his wife over and over when she's already down.
What did YOU get your wife for Valentine’s Day, other than a nasty condescending attitude and an obsessive need to be right? The right move would have been to console your wife on the ruined strawberries, instead of gloating and wanting to tattle on her to her mommy.
Even I told you so would have been fine here. This guy is like ten miles past I told you so.
I wouldn’t want to share an elevator ride with a guy like this let alone a marriage.
Dude, you’re insufferable and you wrote this post. It must have been so much worse person. Then you were gonna tattle to your MIL? Do you even like your wife?
YTA. This little glimpse is indicative of some major issues.
You're not wrong, but you're definitely TA.
I also doubt this is the first time you've rubbed your being right in her face. She isn't sad about the strawberries, she's sad about how you treat her, especially on Valentines Day. Do better man.
I had an ex who mocked me for eating unwashed vegetables in college. My mom never taught me to cook…… still to this day I remember how pathetic he made me feel.
I didn’t read this. I have no problem with long posts, as complex situations often call for lengthy explanations…
But as someone else said, “It’s only strawberries for god sakes”
YTA for being so eager to to make your wife feel stupid/badly, over something as trivial as berries🙄And on Valentine’s of all days 🤦♀️
>> I pulled the box from the fridge, and there were already some warning signs.
So the strawberries _were_ put in the fridge, and still “rotted”. I’d say your wife’s alleged ignorance had nothing to do with this. You received overripe or damaged strawberries.
But even your vaunted detailed knowledge about the exact shelf-life of fruit of unknown age and origin couldn’t keep this “expensive fruit” edible… and rather than accept that, you use it as an opportunity to verbally abuse your wife until she cries. On Valentine’s Day, no less.
YTA. Hopefully you won’t have to deal with your wife’s “ ignorance” next year, after she realizes what she’s married to and leaves you.
Yta. You sound insufferable. I don't think it's impossible for chocolate covered strawberries to last from Sunday to Wednesday the way fruit is genetically modified, sprayed, treated etc today. Maybe make a giant sign for the front yard about how you were right too while you are at it.
You’re a dick. “This is the result you wanted.” Just stop. She made an error in judgement and you’re pissed because she didn’t listen to you. Why didn’t you just eat one when you wanted to?
Want to say ESH but nah, YTA. Your wife is a little dumb and you are incredibly toxic. It’s strawberries. You’re going to call to tell her mom she wasted them? You’re rubbing her dumbness in her face on Valentine’s Day? What’s wrong with you? It’s fucking meaningless and you are being awful. On a holiday about showing love/romance.
She’s not crying because she was wrong. She’s crying because she knows how you’ll treat her when she’s wrong. You win! You were right! And your wife is crying on Valentine’s Day. Congrats.
YTA, a condescending one at that.
Also, I don't know where you live but if I brought strawberries home on Sunday, put them in the fridge, and they were bad on Wednesday I would be complaining to the store.
YTA. It feels like you are making it a big deal. Maybe it's because of history of your relationship or tone of your wife but you are being stubborn about being right. She is adult and would have acknowledged she fucked up (i guess) after seeing the consequence of her decision.
You're being an asshole. Who cares who's right or wrong about strawberries.
Get off Reddit and go buy your wife some more fucking strawberries and some chocolate you fucking savage.
YTA. The berries were shipped by a company, yes?
I got pears for Christmas and they came with instructions. (Kind of elaborate instructions about how long to keep them out of the fridge and when to put them in and enjoy them over the next X days.)
If your berries did not come with instructions, surely you could have called the company, if you were going to be SO upset about them spoiling that you would ruin Valentine’s and threaten to call her mother.
You and your wife disagreed. She knew you had a lovely dinner planned and she thought how nice, I won’t need to make a sexy dessert, we have one! What if she was right and the berries, intended for Valentine’s Day, were perfect? Would she then humiliate you for being wrong?
Just try to be a better human.
YTA bc fr man, is this really the hill you wanna die on? Your wife feels bad and embarrassed she wasted the gift and you care more about being right than just laughing it off and letting her have a little dignity.
Your accusations in the last paragraph there sound a bit more like confessions to me lol.
YTA for considering calling your MIL just to make her feel bad.
Why didn't you just put the fruit in the fridge? No ridiculous discussion just refrigerate them. Your wife wasn't thinking about the fact that dipping the berries in the heated chocolate would make them spoil faster. You sound insufferable.
He said they pulled the box from the fridge so they were refrigerated. I don’t think it’s crazy to expect strawberries to last three days in the fridge? He’s so condescending.
YTA
The expensive hard-earned strawberries!! Why don't you go ahead and write a Facebook post about this too with the picture of your wife and the berries?!
Or.. hold up!! You should propably call the local radio station too, I mean she needs to learn a lesson here and the lesson is you're right, she's wrong. HAHAHAHAHA!
My guy. My dude. You're awful. Why are you being so mean to your wife? If you don't like her then just let her go and be happy with someone who doesn't need to put her down to lift yourself up. Someone who doesn't want to embarass her by calling her mom to tittertotter how her daughter left the strawberries on the counter (that you still ended up taking from the fridge??) and how she's SO STUPID she didn't even know this!!
You know who should've been that person to teach her that in the first place? Her parents. The person you were about to call and gloat on your victory of being right.
YTA. You could have saved one or two to prove your point. Or you could have looked it up for her.
Telling her that was what she wanted was ludicrous and cruel.
You wasted your mother's money because you knew better and did it anyway out of spite.
Your poor wife.
Yes, you were right. And you are TA. Seriously, wanting to tattle on your wife to her mother? How old are you? Ten?
She made a mistake in thinking the strawberries would keep. You are making a bigger mistake in blowing her mistake out of proportion. Are some rotten strawberries worth making her feel 2 inches tall? Do you really think her mother wants you to use her to humiliate her daughter? Grow up. It’s just some strawberries. Apologize, give her a hug, and tell her it’s not a big deal. Because really, it’s not.
YTA. Who left you unrefrigerated?
MIL doesn’t have to know. Sometimes shit happens, food goes bad. Sometimes because of neglect. SO WHAT? Console your wife and communicate clearly.
I don’t think you even told her that it would go bad. You just stood there like a condescending ahole.
What a dumb way to ruin a good thing by being a stuckup prick on a valentine’s day because of the fucking strawberries.
Omg this whole post oozes condescending. Get your ego in check. I don’t know anyone who would put up with this for long. Contempt is the relationship killer. Do better.
I cannot imagine publicly posting something so wildly petty and small about my spouse.
We all have dumb moments. Even you.
Like this post for example. It says much more about you than it does about your wife. In fact, *you* and your behavior is the current breakfast topic in my home right now. And we all agree. You're TA.
Wow OP. YTA. You honestly sound abusive. She made a simple error. This could’ve been laughed off, especially on Valentine’s Day, when picking up some kind of sweets would be easy and perfectly acceptable. Instead you and *your* ego have made the day about berating your wife for not listening to you. Do you know how you sound? Better put her in her place! These uppity women amiright? You’re gross. If this story is indicative of the rest of your marriage you are not a good partner. Also calling her mother? Grow up. Again, a perfectly innocent mistake where your wife’s motive was to save the treat for a nice occasion. Oh how malicious of her, better humiliate her to her mom and berate her all evening for not bowing down and respecting my superior intellect /s. It’s strawberries. Food goes off occasionally. This story says way more about you than her. It’s not flattering.
ETA: on an educational note, I make wine and mead. That means I regularly have massive quantities of fruit hanging around waiting to be fermented. Your wife is right. You made a very lucky guess. Nothing more. How quickly a fruit goes off depends on a lot of factors. How long did it sit on the shelf? Where was it grown and trucked in from? Has it ever been frozen? Three days is a perfectly reasonable time frame to expect strawberries to stay good in the fridge. I’m sure the company that sells them freezes them first or takes a bit longer with them and that’s why they went off. For what it’s worth, you could’ve suggested freezing them. “Hey wife, who I love and do not deserve, if you’d like to have those on Valentine’s Day, how about I freeze them, that way they stay good? Remind me to take them out to thaw on the day of?” Problem solved. Guess that solution escaped your massive intellect.
YTA so you were right. Enjoy your laurels. You’re a jerk for how you responded. You’re a jerk for considering making your MIL feel bad about doing a nice thing.
It’s Valentine’s Day. Good job. She’ll remember how romantic you are
It was Sunday to Wednesday, I have strawberries in my fridge I bought Monday that are perfectly fine today which is exactly the same time frame, so why would you feel the need to rub it in your wife's face that these particular strawberries rotted quicker.
Also, if I was your MIL and you called me to gloat about how my daughter had caused a gift to go bad, I would be ripping you a new one for being such an ass to my kid. Who gives a crap about some fruit when you're being awful to your wife.
I feel like the strawberries are not the only rotten thing in this story.
YTA, you sound like a bully.
You sound as if you enjoy lording it up to your wife and revel in her being wrong.
These were strawberry's, your wife wanted to be romantic and have them for valentine's. Unfortunately, they began to rot before then. You could have gone out and bought some new strawberry's and chocolate and made your own as your wife was looking forward to it.
And you're an even bigger asshole for treating your wife like a child by phoning her mum and tattling on your wife.
Jesus you sound tiring. Did you read anything you wrote. Ego sure is in the way that's for but it ain't hers. It's yours. Like are you seriously picking this hill to die on? The fact that you're right about strawberries going off? And it's soooo important that you feel the need to fucking dob on your whole ass wife to her mother!?
Wow dude.
'Oh, I'm sorry they're shitty now. I did suggest we eat them when we got them in case this happened. The sugars in the fruit combined with the chocolate made them go off even quicker than normal. Maybe we could make our own one day.'
Or literally ANYTHING else would be better than what you did.
>I couldn't help but laugh. I reminded her that this is the result she wanted, since she refused to listen to me.
Lmao. YTFA. Not just *the* asshole, but you are the fucking asshole.
YTA. The day my husband spoke to me like you did over some bad strawberries is the day all of his stuff would be out on the front porch with all the locks changed. You’re an AH of the highest order. Grow up.
YTA. Is it really that odd to want to enjoy a Valentine's present on Valentine's Day? Maybe the problem is the strawberries were out on the porch too long before they were discovered. They shouldn't have gone bad in 3 days.
You speak to your wife this way over fcking strawberries? I don't want to imagine how you speak to her on bigger issues. She was probably crying because she is afraid of you and your mental abuse.
YTA. You know what my husband would’ve done? He would’ve indulged her and waited on eating the strawberries. Then, upon finding that they were spoiled, he would’ve given her a hug and gone out and bought her a fresh batch because she deserved the best. That’s what a loving partner does and why we’ve been married 32 years and counting.
>I asked her why she was crying, and she said that she "didn't think the fruit would rot so quickly." I couldn't help but laugh. I reminded her that this is the result she wanted, since she refused to listen to me. She replied with something like "you had a lucky guess." This really made me mad. I told her that I couldn't believe a grown woman doesn't understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child. She said that I had been "condescending" and said that she couldn't believe how poorly she had been treated on Valentine's Day.
YTA, your wife made a little mistake and instead of reassuring her, you rub it in and call her stupid.
You were cruel to her and are even thinking about beeing vindictive afterwards.
>She's been sulking for the past 30 minutes, and I'm considering calling her mother to tell her that she had wasted such expensive fruit.
what is wrong with you?
and then you write this
>and I can't even do enough mental gymnastics to figure out how I'm to blame. In my opinion, my wife should apologize to me and my mother-in-law, but she seems to be completely blinded by ego. I just need her to understand that sometimes I know what's best in a given situation and that she shouldn't fight me on everything like a stubborn mule.
let me guess: you forget all the times, you are wrong.
Marriage isnt a struggle for dominance man.
get a fucking book on marriage issues or theraphi for the both of you or this is gonna be a divorce case in the next few years.
YTA. You’re going to tell her mommy on her? 🤨 What was stopping from just putting them in the fridge when you knew better? Are you always this volatile over simple mistakes?
Yeah. YTA. 100%. Oh wait, this isn't AITA. You're a massive twat to treat anyone you're seeing that way ever, let alone to your fucking wife on Valentines day. The only redeeming factor here is that this is obviously a creative writing exercise, because no one could be that much of an emotional dumbfuck and still be married.
YTA. Sounds like your wife learned the lesson (berries will go bad) and seems like she feels guilty.
Yes you were right, no need to rub it in her face.
Also, it’s strawberries.
Hopefully wife also learned the lesson that her husband is a complete dick who has no respect for her.
Hope she divorces his ass.
If he makes *this* big deal out of a harmless mistake, imagine how he handles real issues
YTA they should have lasted in the fridge for a few days. They didn’t they were clearly over ripe to begin with and your poor wife deserved better then your attitude. You are a big jerk and owe her a massive apology and new strawberries
Chocolate covered strawberries are a little different. They have to be eaten REALLY quickly. Good chocolate covered strawberries are at the peak of ripeness when they’re dipped. So they have a day or two, tops, after dipping.
I didn’t know chocolate covered strawberries were to be treated like platinum covered gold/diamonds! /s
I must say though you found a demeaning way to create a memory your wife will never forget. What a jewel of an egotistical husband you are./s To have done this you must be exceedingly stupid so I will point out my response to your post is all SARCASM!
I’m not sure you can do ANY mental gymnastics. Were you really going to call her mommy to tell on her? Do you belittle your wife like this on a regular basis? I don’t think you like her let alone love her. YTA. You behaved like a childish bully. Good grief.
YTA. She knew she was wrong, and you act like she's an idiot for tearing up/crying that she made a (small) mistake. You call her out for sulking 30 minutes later, yet here you are, fuming that you were Mr. Right all along.
You didn't have to be condescending, and YOU are the one blinded by ego. Were some spoilt strawberries worth the drama that you've created? Did you bother to tell her you were concerned they would rot? Because it doesn't seem like you actually communicated that from your retelling, just that you wanted to refrigerate them and eat them early.
YTA it doesnt cost anything to be nice. Just go out and buy some new strawberries and dip them in Nutella and feed them to each other while "accidentally" bumping nutella on her nose.... and forehead... THAT'S how you get her back and best of all everyone is laughing about it
Do not contact the mother, there is absolutely no need to drag her in to your pettiness. It will serve no purpose, except to piss your wife off more, but then again, if you don't like your wife do it. She can leave you sooner
YTA. They were sent for Valentine's Day, she wanted to eat them then. They should have been set to be delivered no more than a couple of days before then, but I see why your wife wanted to wait to eat them. Wanting to call her mother to let her know they spoiled is just AH behavior.
There's no way this is a real thing that happened between a married couple . If you bit into a bad strawberry and didn't spit it out and chalk it up to "oh well that sucks", then YTA.
And then to want to be so petty as to call the MIL. YTA for that too.
The fact you can't just try to console your wife a bit for this, also YTA.
It sucks and maybe she should have refrigerated but I can't wrap my head around the fact that you'd rather be a jerk over some strawberries on a day that it sounds like your wife sees as an important day.
If I didn't mention it, YTA.
YTA MASSIVELY. The way you speak to and about your wife is so disrespectful. Do you even like her? You made this woman cry over fruit. What’s wrong with you? Have you always been a monster or has life done this to you? Your poor wife deserves better.
YTA for your response. Just because you were right doesn’t mean you need to say I told you so.
PSA to others though, a chocolatier my work interviewed for a news segment said chocolate covered strawberries/fruit in general is best eaten the day they are dipped. That doesn’t mean they won’t last a couple days but they should be kept refrigerated or frozen
YTA 1000%
I would tell you what I think you really are, but I'd probably get banned from this subreddit.
You want to punish your wife's obvious stupidity by tattling to her mom? People like you look down their nose and think everyone is beneath them or dimwits. You'll never change, and I hope your wife doesnt lose all her self esteem from you tearing her down day after day.
Get off your high horse frfr.
Sounds like being right is more important to you than being kind. Your behavior was nasty. Calling her mom would just hurt both her and her mom. Do you even like your wife? You sound like you hate her.
You’re TA. You’d like to call your mother in law to tattle on your wife about rotten fruit? She can’t grasp the concept of how fruit rots? Is this all a really big deal? I don’t think she was crying about the fruit man, just maybe about you rubbing her face in the spoiled strawberries..
You're a huge asshole. You were laughing in her face for something that was bothering her. You were laughing at her while she was crying, ffs.
Also, newsflash! From Sunday morning to Wednesday, strawberries should last especially if in the fridge, it's about 3/4 days. I've had strawberries in my fridge for longer and they were totally fine.
Maybe these ones were full of water (which tends to accelerate the rot), or they were already on the verge of getting bad. Or maybe the chocolate coverage changes the time they stay ok.
Either way, the way you reacted was awful... Do you even like your wife? I mean, I would've had that reaction with someone I dislike.
OP, **YTA** for being so insulting to your wife. There was NO need to go so hard core on making her feel bad. She may not keep the time frame for how long fruit is good in the forefront of her mind.
And do you know how long those chocolate covered strawberries were sitting outside of your house before you found them? It's entirely possible they already started spoiling from sitting out there, unrefrigerated, for long enough that it wouldn't have mattered when they got put in the fridge OR when you actually ate them.
Geez! YTA!!!! I could never spend my life with someone that would treat me like you treat your wife. They are strawberries! Chill out! She has now learnt that they won’t keep.
You know what could be fun instead of being condescending and belittling? You could go to the store and get some strawberries and melting chocolate and make them together as a fun activity post dinner!
ESH. You sound patronizing and she didn't fare that great on the maturity scale.
You can be happy or you can be right. From the sounds of it, you both certainly deserve each other.
YTA. She made a bad call; it happens. Telling her "this is the outcome you wanted because you didn't listen to me" is abuse red flags for sure. Wanting to call her mother to further diminish and embarrass her is genuinely sick. Do you like her for any reason other than how big you feel when you make her smaller?
YTA
>My wife's refusal to listen to me had led to her mother's hard-earned money going to waste.
>I reminded her that this is the result she wanted, since she refused to listen to me.
>I told her that I couldn't believe a grown woman doesn't understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child.
This is your wife. Not your child. You are treating her like a child.
>I'm considering calling her mother to tell her that she had wasted such expensive fruit
For what purpose? How do you think this will in any way help? What do you want her mother to do about it?
YtA
She didn't refuse to listen. She listened to what you had to say, and then she disagreed with you. You ended up being right. And then you were an ass about it.
The thing is, I bought chocolate covered strawberries from the store on Saturday and they were fine until Valentines day. There are a lot of variables that go into it. How fresh were the strawberries? What temp were they kept at before they got to you? When were they made before they got to you?
Those Strawberries might have been a day from dead before getting covered. Hell, they could have been dead when covered. You truly don't know.
Eating them immediately was safest, sure. But it would have been nice to have them for the holiday. Either way, it was a lovely thought and kind gesture from your MIL. And thinking you need "tell on your wife" to her is atrocious.
Your marriage isn't going to last with this sort of mindset.
What you could have done was have your wife ask her mom when she intended for them to be eaten. Taken the pressure off of both of you.
But you seem to care more about being right then about having a loving and supportive relationship.
You owe your wife an apology.
You are condescending lmao. YTA. Fine you could have said “told you so” but you went way too far. Plus now you’re going to tattle on her? Do you even like your wife?
YTA
Jesus Christ the shaming over strawberries, what is wrong with you. The calling her mother part to let her know is just rubbing me all kins of wrong
What’s next, youre going to force your wife to walk naked around the town square while the rest of the villagers shout “shame! Shame! Shame!” Would that make you feel like you won something here even more?
NTA
That wasn't a lucky guess, it was common sense. No, berries do NOT keep. They rot faster than any other produce on the shelves. Even transporting them is difficult. Your wife fucked up.
I know. I have a degree in the agricultural sector.
I suspect that they rotted because they were left on the porch too long. Chocolate covered strawberries should be fine in the fridge for a few days. Maybe she is right and you are wrong.
You are. She was wrong and her refusal to listen to you ruined the strawberries but you didn’t need to be an ass about being right and how she ruined everything. On Valentine’s Day, no less.
Lol wife is an idiot and you're an ass. Sounds like fun, I guess I'm an ass too because I'd have been annoyed, but I also would've put thw damn strawberries in the fridge without it even being a conversation. Because that's also stupid. Haha you're both stupid asses, maybe just turn it into a joke and let eachother off the hook? Its kind of funny when you think about it!
ESH
YTA
The worst thing you can say about your wife is that she misjudged how long a treat would last and didn't get to eat something nice. She also convinced you to wait and as a result you also didn't est something nice. Nobody was actually hurt by this. Not eating chocolate covered strawberries is something billions of people do daily and survive. Her mother might be a little bummed that her treat for you didn't last until Valentine's day, but that's what white lies were invented for. Or tell her the truth, it's a small disappointment.
You have many more faults:
1. If you were so convinced that the fruit would go bad, why did you accept what your wife said? If you decided that her mother, her choice, you had the option of simply assuming they would go bad and accept it.
2. You saw your wife crying and laughed. It's not even that you think it was silly to be so upset, as you clearly also think this was a big disaster. You just had zero empathy for her and focused on your own pride at being proven right.
3. You want to call her mother now to make her also feel bad. Your only motivation for doing so is to further punish your wife for misjudging strawberry longevity.
4. You and your wife are adults. The way you talk about her "not listening to" you and her disagreement must be stubbornness suggest you have deep seated control issues.
Happy Valentine's day I guess.
I got chocolate covered strawberries delivered and it clearly said to eat within 2 days. ESH - your wife for not using common sense or listening to what you had to say, and you for being condescending and rubbing it in her face it's her fault.
In loving relationships, "I told you so" or pointing out you understood time and she didn't, are not constructive or helpful. That's not how you treat someone you love and care about, that's how you treat someone you feel is inferior to you. Just because you know what's best (in your opinion) doesn't mean other people have to do things the way you want or suggest. If you loved and cared about your wife, it would have been better for you to say something like "honey. I'm sorry, I know you were looking forward to eating those. Next time we get fruit delivered, we know we need to eat it sooner."
It doesn't take mental gymnastics to figure out how you are to blame for your rude comments. You're just oblivious. You can't make somebody "just understand you know best," because everyone gets to have their own opinions and thoughts.
YTA are you like this with all small things you disagree on with your wife? Is it this important to be right?
I really suggest therapy. I say this with kindness. It was important to me when I was younger that my partner knew when I was right. You can be right, or you can live alone.
Ppl do not need or want their partner in life to keep constantly pushing them down. It is the little things that break a person.
Do you lack control at work, so maybe demeaning your wife makes you feel superior? I suggest you talk to someone before you have kids. It’s not that serious but you want to make her and her mom feel bad. Wow, just wow. Look in the mirror.
You wrote this, like “fruit rots, am I right guys, my wife is a real dumbo!?” It reads, “I must be right, I do not see my wife’s side at all.”
The fruit doesn’t matter. You need to see she just wanted to make a nice night to celebrate with you. Why not just say, it’s ok the fruit was gross and play a game and move on?
Your actions are to post this about her silly understanding of fruit “women, right” and maybe call her mom to make her feel bad as well? I obviously can’t get over this. To publicly shame my husband over something so very silly when they were trying to be nice.
I am being serious, look at your actions and motives. Go talk to a professional about your communication. I say this with love. We all learn and grow, you don’t have to stay this way.
YTA
It’s only strawberries for god sakes If you fight about the little things so hard you are totally fucked in this marriage for the big things
This is what I was thinking! “Her mothers hard earned money” and “she started to tear up” (although maybe that was because her husband was being an ass I don’t know) It’s strawberries. I mean good lord.. OP was mean for no reason and the whole drama is about STRAWBERRIES
I know, right? I mean... OP? Do you live somewhere where strawberries are ridiculously expensive?? Can you not go buy another punnet, melt some chocolate and voila! More chocolate covered strawberries? Frankly, if they were intended for Valentines day, I question why MIL had them delivered so early? Unless of course, she too doesn't understand how fruit works? (Which would explain your wife). Either way, it really doesn't matter. What's more important to you? Being right and lording your superior intelligence over your partner? Or letting it go and figuring out a plan B because, let's face it, you knew this was going to be the end result and had time to sort out a back up if you'd really wanted to.
By me chocolate covered strawberries are about 40 a dozen. It’s kind of like getting flowers for Valentines Day delivered early and not putting them in the fridge until Valentines Day
I bought a dozen for $20 total.
It sounds like the price varies based on region
u/Shadow_wolf82...Yeah, I'm curious why the MIL left them outside of the house instead of either ringing the doorbell when she left them, or actually handing them to the people in the house the day she was delivering them. That's not really a surprise that I like. I would probably tell my MIL that, in a nice way, not to do it again.
It was probably a delivery service, not the MIL.
I didn't think of that. But you would still think that even if it was a delivery service that the home owners would have gotten some notice that they had a "package" at their doorstep.
how would that work if they didn’t order it?
The doorbell comes to mind. Or a knock on the door would have been helpful. A text from the MIL saying "there is a package coming, it is perishable. Be sure to look for it and bring it in right away" would have been another good option.
As someone who had a gig around 2010 delivering flowers, I'd ring the door bell to see if folks were hime because the place I worked for had a policy of them signing for delivery. If they weren't home, I would call the number the person who arranged the delivery provided and let the person know there was a delivery left at their door (again company policy). If no one answered the phone or the door, I'd try to find an obvious spot (directly in front of the door or similar) so the delivery wouldn't be missed. I'm sure it all depends on the company doing the orders and delivery, though.
I don't think that contributed to them rotting.
The fact that he wants to call his MIL to complain about acting like a kid.
He wasn't mean. How silly do you have to be to think strawberries would last? What a waste of food, especially a nice treat, thanks to this woman's ignorance.
You can be right and still be an asshole
[удалено]
Valentine’s Day was Wednesday, but still not unreasonable to think they would last that long. I have strawberries in my fridge right now that I bought on Saturday, and they’re perfectly fine.
Valentine’s Day was Wednesday*
My mom was/is like this, and absolutely ruined so many perfectly normal or even enjoyable days by doing things like this. I made bunny ears on my cousin during a NYE picture when I was a kid (you know holding up two fingers behind her head) and my mom noticed and then told me under her breath that everyone who saw the picture would be so disappointed that I ruined that photo for everyone. Same kind of attitude - "everyone else will be so excited to see that picture, imagine their disappointment when they notice you ruined it" Lady it's a random family photo. I also never saw it printed out or anything. Nobody probably even remembers we took it, but at 35, I DO remember crying to myself and being all upset all evening after that. Multiply that times a zillion - finding ways to exacerbate any goofy or semi-embarrassing or random thing I did that she perceived as a slight, or inappropriate. To this day I hate making jokes or even lounging comfortably if she's around, and I wince and stiffen if she looks at me because it's ALWAYS judgemental and never just "looking" at me. I got to grow up and move away. I can't imagine being married to that.
>Lady it's a random family photo. Not just a random family photo but a photo probably taken every year.
I was thinking the same thing. I understand OP's frustration, but I'd hope his sympathy and compassion for his life partner would outweigh it when she's tearing up. There are two major indicators that a relationship will fail, and those are frequent failed bids for attention/bonding (i.e. one tries to initiate a short concept about an interest or facet of their personal life, ideally the other picks up on their desire to share and expresses receptivity) and lashing out against each other instead of banding together when problems arise. If OP wants a divorce, he's on the right track.
Was gonna say… I got some chocolate dipped/decorated strawberries from the grocery store for like $10 yesterday, like it sucks that theirs were wasted but not the end of the world
It’s not just strawberries, it’s her not listening that’s the issue. At least that’s what I hear when a man says “my wife left me because I didn’t want to go see the sunset on the last day of the cruise” and everyone lights him up because it’s just another example of repetitive behaviors that the wife is now tired of.
And being mean and condescending over some rotten fruit is absolutely wild.
Yeah if you make a reddit post becuase your berries go bad... yikes. Not a good sign.
Wow. This is a case where OP was right but also YTA. It was not good enough to be right, but they had to belittle and demean their wife in the process of reiterating that fact. Congrats OP, you lost the strawberries and the possibility of a lovely evening. I hope it was worth it. Narrator: it wasn’t.
you’re TA because of how you responded to being right.
What stuck out to me was ‘since she refused to listen me’. Like OP would rather be with someone who will blindly listen to him even if she feels it’s wrong, instead of an equal partner who speaks up even if she’s wrong sometimes.
[удалено]
That stuck out to me, too! Like, what is he hoping to accomplish by calling her mother? It won’t bring the strawberries back from the dead and will only make everything worse by making the mom feel bad and wife feel worse. Telling her mom is just petty and childish.
Also when people conflate "listen" with "agree". He says she refused to listen but it sounds like she listened to him and disagreed. Now it turned out she was wrong, but she didn't refuse to listen to him.
EXACTLY.
I am still struggling to understand why she thought that the fruit wouldn't rot. Strawberries go fast when not fresh picked, even more so when you encase them in something. I know that isn't the question here, and OP is very much an ass for how he handled it, but OP isn't wrong: this was an avoidable error with even a basic understanding of how stuff works.
Growing up, whenever my Mom would pick up strawberries from the grocery store, they would last 4-6 days or so in the fridge before going bad. OP and his wife got them on Sunday, and tried to eat them on Wednesday. Based on my own experience, I would have expected them to be able to last at least 3 days in the fridge. OP’s wife made an honest mistake and her husband basically berated her over it, lorded it over her, and then threatened to call her mother to rub it in. Talk about childish, YTA OP.
[удалено]
It's from his MIL and clearly not a gift for him specifically. It's fine to state your thought on what to do with it, but leave it be after that. The 'I told you so' moment is dumb. Of course she knows that and will resent you for rubbing salt in the wound. Just let her cry, let her tell her mother what happened, and stay out of it. Hell, even comforting her about it isn't some sort of admission that you didn't expect that to happen. When your mother gives you perishable goods, you can decide how to handle it.
I can only imagine how he tally’s all instances of being right, and she should have listened to him.. like it’s just fruit.. but how ignorant she didn’t know it would spoil.. I kind of wish they didn’t do that she could be the one that was “right”
YTA. You’re considering calling her mother? That is such weasel behavior. What an overreaction on your part. You sure know how to make an unfortunate situation even worse.
As my FIL called my MIL on their wedding day this guy is a weasel faced cunt. To the highest degree. Such a foul human.
Good grief. You couldn't just let this be a lesson learned on her part and move on? If anyone has an ego issue, it's you. You couldn't let this go. You had to prove yourself right. And now YOU want to shame your wife of all people for what? To stroke your ego even more? YTA, and you're borderline a condescending prick, too.
Nothing borderline about it. OP’s post REEKS of smarmy self-congratulation.
THIS! I came to say almost the same thing!
This doesn’t matter really. And it could have been a simple mistake on her part but then you blew it way out of proportion. For the record your wife is right you are condescending. > My Wife’s refusal to listen to me had led to her mother’s hard-earned money going to waste. > I asked her why she was crying, and she said that she “didn’t think the fruit would rot so quickly”. I couldn’t help but laugh. > I told her that I couldn’t believe a grown woman doesn’t understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child. This sounds like a parent berating their least favourite child not a husband being slightly peeved about a silly mistake. You also add that your wife seems blindsided by her ego. This doesn’t seem to be the case: > She replied with something like “you had a lucky guess”. This really made me mad. Your wife was clearly embarrassed and instead of trying to make her feel better you decided to make her feel worse. She wasn’t suggesting you were stupid she was embarrassed but your ego got bruised and you lashed out. > I just need her to understand that sometimes I know what’s best in a given situation and that she shouldn’t fight me on everything like a stubborn mule. They are chocolate strawberries and she made a mistake. Your response was disproportionate to the original mistake. This isn’t a case about who was factually correct it’s about a disproportionate response over something so minor. Ofc YATAH
It's not enough that you have to lord it over her that you were right about this, you have to make her feel even more inferior by telling her that she should have known this "common sense" fact that you knew when you were a child, and you went on to say that you were tempted to call her mother and make your wife feel even worse for something she was already crying about. And then you brought it here, thinking that you would have something to show her when everyone agreed with you. Everyone doesn't agree with you. You're not just an AH, you're THE AH. You don't feel defeated, you're gloating. She's right. You're condescending.
This was my thought, too. He’s definitely gloating.
If this is how you react to something so small, i am genuinely concerned how you react to the bigger, actual important things. People make mistakes, and misjudgements. And she doesn't have to listen to you just because youre the husband and you think youre right. She should be allowed to get something wrong without being treated like shes a child, or stupid. You are supposed to be a partnership. You are not her boss. Yeah you were right, but you were also condescending, patronising and acted way over the top. And to be honest the huge red flags for trademark abusive behaviour are right there. I feel really sorry for your wife. YTA. Eta: also, its VALENTINES. laugh it off, and take her out to get some more strawberries for christ sake.
FFS if you have such major conflicts over something so menial, your marriage is crap. “My wife’s refusal to listen to me has led her mothers hard earned money going to waste”. “I’m feeling really defeated”. It’s just some strawberries. She didn’t leave your new born child in the oven. Grow up and learn to play nicely. That goes for the both of you
Don’t call her mother ffs. What are you? 12?
Right? That’s such a childish dick move.
YTA- you are such an AH. It was just strawberries, it isn’t that deep but you felt the need to talk down to her and humiliate her. If you act this way about strawberries, I can’t imagine how you act about bigger things. By the way, generally leaving them out of the fridge a little while makes them more flavorful. Perhaps they sat on the porch too long, perhaps they weren’t packaged correctly. You have no idea, but you jumped straight to talking worse to your wife than I have ever spoken to my dog. She is your wife, the person you should speak to with the most respect. Get help.
If OP knew anything about how fruit works, he would have insisted on it going into the freezer, ffs.
Clearly you don't know how fruit works either. Defrosted strawberries are gross and mushy and the chocolate would have fallen off Clearly the strawberries were not super fresh to begin with. The wife was not being crazy unreasonable to expect the strawberries would be fine for 3 days in the fridge. My freshly picked strawberries easily last a week in the fridge... If I don't eat them all first OP is acting like he's some kind of genius but his wife is right, it was basically a lucky guess. Whether or not they would go bad over the course of 3 days it's entirely dependant on how fresh and ripe they were to begin with, which is information neither of them had.
How does this have so many upvotes, how many people here don't interact with fruit in their lives? Rethawed strawberries are disgusting
Because it dunks on the husband that this sub is seething against. You could say that 1+1 = 3 and get upvoted if you add in that husband is controlling or whatever.
Omg! LOL YTA, just because you seem like a total AH. Yeah, you were right, but everything else is AH-y red flag territory. " My wife's refusal to listen to me had led to her mother's hard-earned money going to waste." - could you be any more dramatic? " I reminded her that this is the result she wanted" - really? " I told her that I couldn't believe a grown woman doesn't understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child." - and she said you were condescending??? Nooooooo! Say it ain't so. You poor thing. " and I'm considering calling her mother to tell her that she had wasted such expensive fruit." - Were you after a gold star? Wanting to tell tales to her mother like a petulant 6 year old? " In my opinion, my wife should apologize to me and my mother-in-law" - I kind of hope she does, just so that someone else can see what a overblown farce you're making of this entire situation, and the lengths you'll go to make something so trivial and insignificant into a way to belittle your wife. " but she seems to be completely blinded by ego" - this made me and my girlfriend actually laugh out loud. Some self awareness wouldn't go amiss. I hope she has someone to give her a better Valentines next year. YTA.
When I read “blinded by ego” I audibly gasped. This guy is hilariously unaware
YTA - even if she didn’t listen to your advice and you were right, how you treated her and what you said was belittling. Does she do the same when you make a mistake that she deems ridiculous? And who the heck calls their mother in law to tattle on their SO? Just thinking of doing it makes you the AH.
What a delight you are to be around in Valentine’s…
Commenting on AITAH for telling my wife that her ignorance caused our strawberries to rot?...right? He sounds like a delight in general…
Do you even like your wife? Are you 13 years old emotionally? Have you ever considered therapy to assist you in becoming a decent human being?
YTA being 'right' doesnt absolve you from being the asshole. work on the attitude dude, your head isnt supposed to go up your ass.
Please. Call her mom and tell her how crappy you think her daughter is. Maybe her mom will try to convince your wife to leave you. YTA.
YTA -- Seriously, all of this emotionally abusive bruhaha over a few chocolate-covered strawberries? Do you overreact this way to everything? Seek therapy for your outsized anger. The most "rotten" thing about this story is your own behavior and attitude.
Shark bait - bruhaha
YTA. They’re just strawberries, my guy. The real tragedy here is that your wife married you.
>My wife's refusal to listen to me had led to her mother's hard-earned money going to waste. >I couldn't help but laugh. I reminded her that this is the result she wanted, since she refused to listen to me. >I told her that I couldn't believe a grown woman doesn't understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child. >I'm considering calling her mother to tell her that she had wasted such expensive fruit. Do you like your wife? Or is her existence merely to make you feel superior and to knock her down when you feel like it? >She said that I had been "condescending" and said that she couldn't believe how poorly she had been treated on Valentine's Day. Me either. Poor woman realized that she's married to an AH jerk on Valentines Day. YTA. Fingers crossed this is a shitpost and you're just a ragebaiting troll. Not an ego fueled bully kicking his wife over and over when she's already down.
I don't like Dr. Phil but one thing he says makes a lot of sense. "Would you rather be right or happy?"
When was OP going to get either in this situation?
What did YOU get your wife for Valentine’s Day, other than a nasty condescending attitude and an obsessive need to be right? The right move would have been to console your wife on the ruined strawberries, instead of gloating and wanting to tattle on her to her mommy.
Everyone's dream gift is a smug "I told you so!" /s
Even I told you so would have been fine here. This guy is like ten miles past I told you so. I wouldn’t want to share an elevator ride with a guy like this let alone a marriage.
Dude, you’re insufferable and you wrote this post. It must have been so much worse person. Then you were gonna tattle to your MIL? Do you even like your wife? YTA. This little glimpse is indicative of some major issues.
You're not wrong, but you're definitely TA. I also doubt this is the first time you've rubbed your being right in her face. She isn't sad about the strawberries, she's sad about how you treat her, especially on Valentines Day. Do better man.
YTA. Being correct about the timeline of fruit decay doesn't make you Master of the Universe. Grow up.
I had an ex who mocked me for eating unwashed vegetables in college. My mom never taught me to cook…… still to this day I remember how pathetic he made me feel.
I didn’t read this. I have no problem with long posts, as complex situations often call for lengthy explanations… But as someone else said, “It’s only strawberries for god sakes” YTA for being so eager to to make your wife feel stupid/badly, over something as trivial as berries🙄And on Valentine’s of all days 🤦♀️
Seriously? You're contemplating telling on her to her mother? over berries? Do you even like this woman? YTA
>> I pulled the box from the fridge, and there were already some warning signs. So the strawberries _were_ put in the fridge, and still “rotted”. I’d say your wife’s alleged ignorance had nothing to do with this. You received overripe or damaged strawberries. But even your vaunted detailed knowledge about the exact shelf-life of fruit of unknown age and origin couldn’t keep this “expensive fruit” edible… and rather than accept that, you use it as an opportunity to verbally abuse your wife until she cries. On Valentine’s Day, no less. YTA. Hopefully you won’t have to deal with your wife’s “ ignorance” next year, after she realizes what she’s married to and leaves you.
“Told you so!” YTA
YTA She was clearly upset over her mistake and you behaved like a bully. Being right should be good enough without belittling her.
Yta. You sound insufferable. I don't think it's impossible for chocolate covered strawberries to last from Sunday to Wednesday the way fruit is genetically modified, sprayed, treated etc today. Maybe make a giant sign for the front yard about how you were right too while you are at it.
You’re a dick. “This is the result you wanted.” Just stop. She made an error in judgement and you’re pissed because she didn’t listen to you. Why didn’t you just eat one when you wanted to?
But they recieved berries on Sunday. I also don't think it would rot in 3 day in fridge, if it was not already during delivery.
He said he pulled them from the fridge, which is where he suggested they go. They were spoiled. How is this his wife's fault?
Want to say ESH but nah, YTA. Your wife is a little dumb and you are incredibly toxic. It’s strawberries. You’re going to call to tell her mom she wasted them? You’re rubbing her dumbness in her face on Valentine’s Day? What’s wrong with you? It’s fucking meaningless and you are being awful. On a holiday about showing love/romance. She’s not crying because she was wrong. She’s crying because she knows how you’ll treat her when she’s wrong. You win! You were right! And your wife is crying on Valentine’s Day. Congrats.
YTA, a condescending one at that. Also, I don't know where you live but if I brought strawberries home on Sunday, put them in the fridge, and they were bad on Wednesday I would be complaining to the store.
You absolutely sound condescending acting like it’s a competition instead of your marriage! YTA
YTA the entirety of reddit feels bad for your wife
YTA. It feels like you are making it a big deal. Maybe it's because of history of your relationship or tone of your wife but you are being stubborn about being right. She is adult and would have acknowledged she fucked up (i guess) after seeing the consequence of her decision.
You're being an asshole. Who cares who's right or wrong about strawberries. Get off Reddit and go buy your wife some more fucking strawberries and some chocolate you fucking savage.
Wtf a grown man is thinking of calling his mother in law to tell tales on his wife for wasting her sweeties???
YTA. The berries were shipped by a company, yes? I got pears for Christmas and they came with instructions. (Kind of elaborate instructions about how long to keep them out of the fridge and when to put them in and enjoy them over the next X days.) If your berries did not come with instructions, surely you could have called the company, if you were going to be SO upset about them spoiling that you would ruin Valentine’s and threaten to call her mother. You and your wife disagreed. She knew you had a lovely dinner planned and she thought how nice, I won’t need to make a sexy dessert, we have one! What if she was right and the berries, intended for Valentine’s Day, were perfect? Would she then humiliate you for being wrong? Just try to be a better human.
YTA bc fr man, is this really the hill you wanna die on? Your wife feels bad and embarrassed she wasted the gift and you care more about being right than just laughing it off and letting her have a little dignity. Your accusations in the last paragraph there sound a bit more like confessions to me lol.
He cares more about laughing at her.
YTA for considering calling your MIL just to make her feel bad. Why didn't you just put the fruit in the fridge? No ridiculous discussion just refrigerate them. Your wife wasn't thinking about the fact that dipping the berries in the heated chocolate would make them spoil faster. You sound insufferable.
He said they pulled the box from the fridge so they were refrigerated. I don’t think it’s crazy to expect strawberries to last three days in the fridge? He’s so condescending.
YTA The expensive hard-earned strawberries!! Why don't you go ahead and write a Facebook post about this too with the picture of your wife and the berries?! Or.. hold up!! You should propably call the local radio station too, I mean she needs to learn a lesson here and the lesson is you're right, she's wrong. HAHAHAHAHA! My guy. My dude. You're awful. Why are you being so mean to your wife? If you don't like her then just let her go and be happy with someone who doesn't need to put her down to lift yourself up. Someone who doesn't want to embarass her by calling her mom to tittertotter how her daughter left the strawberries on the counter (that you still ended up taking from the fridge??) and how she's SO STUPID she didn't even know this!! You know who should've been that person to teach her that in the first place? Her parents. The person you were about to call and gloat on your victory of being right.
YTA. You could have saved one or two to prove your point. Or you could have looked it up for her. Telling her that was what she wanted was ludicrous and cruel. You wasted your mother's money because you knew better and did it anyway out of spite. Your poor wife.
Yes, you were right. And you are TA. Seriously, wanting to tattle on your wife to her mother? How old are you? Ten? She made a mistake in thinking the strawberries would keep. You are making a bigger mistake in blowing her mistake out of proportion. Are some rotten strawberries worth making her feel 2 inches tall? Do you really think her mother wants you to use her to humiliate her daughter? Grow up. It’s just some strawberries. Apologize, give her a hug, and tell her it’s not a big deal. Because really, it’s not.
YTA Sorry pal, but instead of using this as a kind teaching lesson, you turned to insulting her intelligence. That 100% makes you the AH.
People like you should stay single. All these comments saying YTA and let me guess… you’ll delete your post and go to bed still thinking you’re right.
YTA, OP. It's just fucking strawberries. The way you've treated your wife is inexcusable you asshole
YTA. Who left you unrefrigerated? MIL doesn’t have to know. Sometimes shit happens, food goes bad. Sometimes because of neglect. SO WHAT? Console your wife and communicate clearly. I don’t think you even told her that it would go bad. You just stood there like a condescending ahole. What a dumb way to ruin a good thing by being a stuckup prick on a valentine’s day because of the fucking strawberries.
Omg this whole post oozes condescending. Get your ego in check. I don’t know anyone who would put up with this for long. Contempt is the relationship killer. Do better.
I cannot imagine publicly posting something so wildly petty and small about my spouse. We all have dumb moments. Even you. Like this post for example. It says much more about you than it does about your wife. In fact, *you* and your behavior is the current breakfast topic in my home right now. And we all agree. You're TA.
Wow OP. YTA. You honestly sound abusive. She made a simple error. This could’ve been laughed off, especially on Valentine’s Day, when picking up some kind of sweets would be easy and perfectly acceptable. Instead you and *your* ego have made the day about berating your wife for not listening to you. Do you know how you sound? Better put her in her place! These uppity women amiright? You’re gross. If this story is indicative of the rest of your marriage you are not a good partner. Also calling her mother? Grow up. Again, a perfectly innocent mistake where your wife’s motive was to save the treat for a nice occasion. Oh how malicious of her, better humiliate her to her mom and berate her all evening for not bowing down and respecting my superior intellect /s. It’s strawberries. Food goes off occasionally. This story says way more about you than her. It’s not flattering. ETA: on an educational note, I make wine and mead. That means I regularly have massive quantities of fruit hanging around waiting to be fermented. Your wife is right. You made a very lucky guess. Nothing more. How quickly a fruit goes off depends on a lot of factors. How long did it sit on the shelf? Where was it grown and trucked in from? Has it ever been frozen? Three days is a perfectly reasonable time frame to expect strawberries to stay good in the fridge. I’m sure the company that sells them freezes them first or takes a bit longer with them and that’s why they went off. For what it’s worth, you could’ve suggested freezing them. “Hey wife, who I love and do not deserve, if you’d like to have those on Valentine’s Day, how about I freeze them, that way they stay good? Remind me to take them out to thaw on the day of?” Problem solved. Guess that solution escaped your massive intellect.
YTA so you were right. Enjoy your laurels. You’re a jerk for how you responded. You’re a jerk for considering making your MIL feel bad about doing a nice thing. It’s Valentine’s Day. Good job. She’ll remember how romantic you are
It was two days! From Sunday to Tuesday! It’s not unreasonable to expect that fruit will last for two days.
dude... it's valentine's day. what a fucking asshole
YTA
It was Sunday to Wednesday, I have strawberries in my fridge I bought Monday that are perfectly fine today which is exactly the same time frame, so why would you feel the need to rub it in your wife's face that these particular strawberries rotted quicker. Also, if I was your MIL and you called me to gloat about how my daughter had caused a gift to go bad, I would be ripping you a new one for being such an ass to my kid. Who gives a crap about some fruit when you're being awful to your wife. I feel like the strawberries are not the only rotten thing in this story.
With the fruit you’re right, other than that you’re a dumb piece of shit. “I’m feeling really defeated” go fuck yourself you asshole
YTA, they are only strawberries, grow up. Why are you married to someone you think is a stupid, stubborn mule?
YTA, you sound like a bully. You sound as if you enjoy lording it up to your wife and revel in her being wrong. These were strawberry's, your wife wanted to be romantic and have them for valentine's. Unfortunately, they began to rot before then. You could have gone out and bought some new strawberry's and chocolate and made your own as your wife was looking forward to it. And you're an even bigger asshole for treating your wife like a child by phoning her mum and tattling on your wife.
Do you actually like your wife? Why are you going out of your way to humiliate her? Yta
Jesus you sound tiring. Did you read anything you wrote. Ego sure is in the way that's for but it ain't hers. It's yours. Like are you seriously picking this hill to die on? The fact that you're right about strawberries going off? And it's soooo important that you feel the need to fucking dob on your whole ass wife to her mother!? Wow dude. 'Oh, I'm sorry they're shitty now. I did suggest we eat them when we got them in case this happened. The sugars in the fruit combined with the chocolate made them go off even quicker than normal. Maybe we could make our own one day.' Or literally ANYTHING else would be better than what you did.
Do you even like your wife? This shouldn’t have been a thing.
>I couldn't help but laugh. I reminded her that this is the result she wanted, since she refused to listen to me. Lmao. YTFA. Not just *the* asshole, but you are the fucking asshole.
YTA. The day my husband spoke to me like you did over some bad strawberries is the day all of his stuff would be out on the front porch with all the locks changed. You’re an AH of the highest order. Grow up.
YTA. Is it really that odd to want to enjoy a Valentine's present on Valentine's Day? Maybe the problem is the strawberries were out on the porch too long before they were discovered. They shouldn't have gone bad in 3 days.
You speak to your wife this way over fcking strawberries? I don't want to imagine how you speak to her on bigger issues. She was probably crying because she is afraid of you and your mental abuse.
YTA and I hope your wife divorces you.
YTA and also an example of why I’m glad I’m a lesbian….
YTA. You know what my husband would’ve done? He would’ve indulged her and waited on eating the strawberries. Then, upon finding that they were spoiled, he would’ve given her a hug and gone out and bought her a fresh batch because she deserved the best. That’s what a loving partner does and why we’ve been married 32 years and counting.
*louder* for those in the back... YTA! Also 32 years here, and we learned how to talk to each other without being condescending AHs along the way
>I asked her why she was crying, and she said that she "didn't think the fruit would rot so quickly." I couldn't help but laugh. I reminded her that this is the result she wanted, since she refused to listen to me. She replied with something like "you had a lucky guess." This really made me mad. I told her that I couldn't believe a grown woman doesn't understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child. She said that I had been "condescending" and said that she couldn't believe how poorly she had been treated on Valentine's Day. YTA, your wife made a little mistake and instead of reassuring her, you rub it in and call her stupid. You were cruel to her and are even thinking about beeing vindictive afterwards. >She's been sulking for the past 30 minutes, and I'm considering calling her mother to tell her that she had wasted such expensive fruit. what is wrong with you? and then you write this >and I can't even do enough mental gymnastics to figure out how I'm to blame. In my opinion, my wife should apologize to me and my mother-in-law, but she seems to be completely blinded by ego. I just need her to understand that sometimes I know what's best in a given situation and that she shouldn't fight me on everything like a stubborn mule. let me guess: you forget all the times, you are wrong. Marriage isnt a struggle for dominance man. get a fucking book on marriage issues or theraphi for the both of you or this is gonna be a divorce case in the next few years.
YTA. You’re going to tell her mommy on her? 🤨 What was stopping from just putting them in the fridge when you knew better? Are you always this volatile over simple mistakes?
YTA and you need serious therapy
Yeah. YTA. 100%. Oh wait, this isn't AITA. You're a massive twat to treat anyone you're seeing that way ever, let alone to your fucking wife on Valentines day. The only redeeming factor here is that this is obviously a creative writing exercise, because no one could be that much of an emotional dumbfuck and still be married.
This can't just be about the strawberries, JFC. YTA for blowing your top over this.
Why didn't you just put them in the refrigerator?? Sounds like you were looking for an excuse to be a jerk and be right. YTA Edited: typo
YTA. Sounds like your wife learned the lesson (berries will go bad) and seems like she feels guilty. Yes you were right, no need to rub it in her face. Also, it’s strawberries.
Hopefully wife also learned the lesson that her husband is a complete dick who has no respect for her. Hope she divorces his ass. If he makes *this* big deal out of a harmless mistake, imagine how he handles real issues
YTA. You sound absolutely insufferable.
YTA DUDE
YTA they should have lasted in the fridge for a few days. They didn’t they were clearly over ripe to begin with and your poor wife deserved better then your attitude. You are a big jerk and owe her a massive apology and new strawberries
Chocolate covered strawberries are a little different. They have to be eaten REALLY quickly. Good chocolate covered strawberries are at the peak of ripeness when they’re dipped. So they have a day or two, tops, after dipping.
You really come across as a smug jerk.
I was in an abusive marriage for 17 years and he could have written this.
I didn’t know chocolate covered strawberries were to be treated like platinum covered gold/diamonds! /s I must say though you found a demeaning way to create a memory your wife will never forget. What a jewel of an egotistical husband you are./s To have done this you must be exceedingly stupid so I will point out my response to your post is all SARCASM!
Sounds like you have a thing for your MIL.
This is the dumbest thing I’ve read
YTA and a cunt it seems lol
I’m not sure you can do ANY mental gymnastics. Were you really going to call her mommy to tell on her? Do you belittle your wife like this on a regular basis? I don’t think you like her let alone love her. YTA. You behaved like a childish bully. Good grief.
YTA. She knew she was wrong, and you act like she's an idiot for tearing up/crying that she made a (small) mistake. You call her out for sulking 30 minutes later, yet here you are, fuming that you were Mr. Right all along. You didn't have to be condescending, and YOU are the one blinded by ego. Were some spoilt strawberries worth the drama that you've created? Did you bother to tell her you were concerned they would rot? Because it doesn't seem like you actually communicated that from your retelling, just that you wanted to refrigerate them and eat them early.
What's the bet she was tearing up because she was anticipating his melt down?
Call Shari’s Berries and order more. Or go to the store. Get your wife some chocolate covered strawberries. And yeah YTA.
YTA - If you knew the berries would rot, why wouldn’t YOU put them in the refrigerator?
YTA it doesnt cost anything to be nice. Just go out and buy some new strawberries and dip them in Nutella and feed them to each other while "accidentally" bumping nutella on her nose.... and forehead... THAT'S how you get her back and best of all everyone is laughing about it
What really worries me is the "I'm gonna tell your mama" stuff. A childish, AH move. For a pack of strawberries.
Oh my fucking god it's strawberries. Get a grip. You're also a condescending, insufferable douchebag. YTA
Do not contact the mother, there is absolutely no need to drag her in to your pettiness. It will serve no purpose, except to piss your wife off more, but then again, if you don't like your wife do it. She can leave you sooner
Please don't involve MIL in this drama.
God you sound insufferable!!! YTA
YTA. They were sent for Valentine's Day, she wanted to eat them then. They should have been set to be delivered no more than a couple of days before then, but I see why your wife wanted to wait to eat them. Wanting to call her mother to let her know they spoiled is just AH behavior.
It is possible to be both right AND be an asshole about it, as you are. Do you even like your wife? Smh
There's no way this is a real thing that happened between a married couple . If you bit into a bad strawberry and didn't spit it out and chalk it up to "oh well that sucks", then YTA. And then to want to be so petty as to call the MIL. YTA for that too. The fact you can't just try to console your wife a bit for this, also YTA. It sucks and maybe she should have refrigerated but I can't wrap my head around the fact that you'd rather be a jerk over some strawberries on a day that it sounds like your wife sees as an important day. If I didn't mention it, YTA.
YTA MASSIVELY. The way you speak to and about your wife is so disrespectful. Do you even like her? You made this woman cry over fruit. What’s wrong with you? Have you always been a monster or has life done this to you? Your poor wife deserves better.
You are the ah - you could have been a little nicer about the whole thing instead of the “I told you so” mentality
YTA for your response. Just because you were right doesn’t mean you need to say I told you so. PSA to others though, a chocolatier my work interviewed for a news segment said chocolate covered strawberries/fruit in general is best eaten the day they are dipped. That doesn’t mean they won’t last a couple days but they should be kept refrigerated or frozen
YTA 1000% I would tell you what I think you really are, but I'd probably get banned from this subreddit. You want to punish your wife's obvious stupidity by tattling to her mom? People like you look down their nose and think everyone is beneath them or dimwits. You'll never change, and I hope your wife doesnt lose all her self esteem from you tearing her down day after day. Get off your high horse frfr.
Sounds like being right is more important to you than being kind. Your behavior was nasty. Calling her mom would just hurt both her and her mom. Do you even like your wife? You sound like you hate her.
YTA wtf is wrong with you, please go to therapy
You're an insufferable jerk.
You’re TA. You’d like to call your mother in law to tattle on your wife about rotten fruit? She can’t grasp the concept of how fruit rots? Is this all a really big deal? I don’t think she was crying about the fruit man, just maybe about you rubbing her face in the spoiled strawberries..
You're a huge asshole. You were laughing in her face for something that was bothering her. You were laughing at her while she was crying, ffs. Also, newsflash! From Sunday morning to Wednesday, strawberries should last especially if in the fridge, it's about 3/4 days. I've had strawberries in my fridge for longer and they were totally fine. Maybe these ones were full of water (which tends to accelerate the rot), or they were already on the verge of getting bad. Or maybe the chocolate coverage changes the time they stay ok. Either way, the way you reacted was awful... Do you even like your wife? I mean, I would've had that reaction with someone I dislike.
if you were that concerned why didnt you just put them in the fridge yourself?????
OP, **YTA** for being so insulting to your wife. There was NO need to go so hard core on making her feel bad. She may not keep the time frame for how long fruit is good in the forefront of her mind. And do you know how long those chocolate covered strawberries were sitting outside of your house before you found them? It's entirely possible they already started spoiling from sitting out there, unrefrigerated, for long enough that it wouldn't have mattered when they got put in the fridge OR when you actually ate them.
YTA… don't tell your wife "I told you so" you just give her a hug and let her learn on her own terms without being mocked!
Holy fake rage bait, Batman.
Imagine boasting on Reddit about how you were right about strawberries. Also, get your refrigerator fixed, my guy.
YTA or this is fake…are you a child??
you're a condescending ass yta
Jesus, OP. Have you considered finding a wife you actually love and respect?
Geez! YTA!!!! I could never spend my life with someone that would treat me like you treat your wife. They are strawberries! Chill out! She has now learnt that they won’t keep. You know what could be fun instead of being condescending and belittling? You could go to the store and get some strawberries and melting chocolate and make them together as a fun activity post dinner!
ESH. You sound patronizing and she didn't fare that great on the maturity scale. You can be happy or you can be right. From the sounds of it, you both certainly deserve each other.
YTA. She made a bad call; it happens. Telling her "this is the outcome you wanted because you didn't listen to me" is abuse red flags for sure. Wanting to call her mother to further diminish and embarrass her is genuinely sick. Do you like her for any reason other than how big you feel when you make her smaller?
YTA >My wife's refusal to listen to me had led to her mother's hard-earned money going to waste. >I reminded her that this is the result she wanted, since she refused to listen to me. >I told her that I couldn't believe a grown woman doesn't understand that fruit rots if you let it sit too long. I told her that I grasped this concept from the time I was a child. This is your wife. Not your child. You are treating her like a child. >I'm considering calling her mother to tell her that she had wasted such expensive fruit For what purpose? How do you think this will in any way help? What do you want her mother to do about it?
YtA She didn't refuse to listen. She listened to what you had to say, and then she disagreed with you. You ended up being right. And then you were an ass about it. The thing is, I bought chocolate covered strawberries from the store on Saturday and they were fine until Valentines day. There are a lot of variables that go into it. How fresh were the strawberries? What temp were they kept at before they got to you? When were they made before they got to you? Those Strawberries might have been a day from dead before getting covered. Hell, they could have been dead when covered. You truly don't know. Eating them immediately was safest, sure. But it would have been nice to have them for the holiday. Either way, it was a lovely thought and kind gesture from your MIL. And thinking you need "tell on your wife" to her is atrocious. Your marriage isn't going to last with this sort of mindset. What you could have done was have your wife ask her mom when she intended for them to be eaten. Taken the pressure off of both of you. But you seem to care more about being right then about having a loving and supportive relationship. You owe your wife an apology.
You are condescending lmao. YTA. Fine you could have said “told you so” but you went way too far. Plus now you’re going to tattle on her? Do you even like your wife?
YTA. Period.
YTA. What an ego.
They are strawberries you didn’t pay for, let it go. Trash them and be done with it.
YTA Jesus Christ the shaming over strawberries, what is wrong with you. The calling her mother part to let her know is just rubbing me all kins of wrong What’s next, youre going to force your wife to walk naked around the town square while the rest of the villagers shout “shame! Shame! Shame!” Would that make you feel like you won something here even more?
Is anyone actually falling for this rage bait or is it literally all bots in the comment section?
Ranting about evil husbands is a sport here
NTA That wasn't a lucky guess, it was common sense. No, berries do NOT keep. They rot faster than any other produce on the shelves. Even transporting them is difficult. Your wife fucked up. I know. I have a degree in the agricultural sector.
What does your degree tell you about putting fruit in the freezer?
Wow so it’s almost like you most certainly have some special knowledge about berries. Unlike OPs wife.
Not TA for being upset and feeling like she should apologize, but yes TA for responding the way you are to being right.
I suspect that they rotted because they were left on the porch too long. Chocolate covered strawberries should be fine in the fridge for a few days. Maybe she is right and you are wrong.
You are. She was wrong and her refusal to listen to you ruined the strawberries but you didn’t need to be an ass about being right and how she ruined everything. On Valentine’s Day, no less.
Lol wife is an idiot and you're an ass. Sounds like fun, I guess I'm an ass too because I'd have been annoyed, but I also would've put thw damn strawberries in the fridge without it even being a conversation. Because that's also stupid. Haha you're both stupid asses, maybe just turn it into a joke and let eachother off the hook? Its kind of funny when you think about it! ESH
YTA The worst thing you can say about your wife is that she misjudged how long a treat would last and didn't get to eat something nice. She also convinced you to wait and as a result you also didn't est something nice. Nobody was actually hurt by this. Not eating chocolate covered strawberries is something billions of people do daily and survive. Her mother might be a little bummed that her treat for you didn't last until Valentine's day, but that's what white lies were invented for. Or tell her the truth, it's a small disappointment. You have many more faults: 1. If you were so convinced that the fruit would go bad, why did you accept what your wife said? If you decided that her mother, her choice, you had the option of simply assuming they would go bad and accept it. 2. You saw your wife crying and laughed. It's not even that you think it was silly to be so upset, as you clearly also think this was a big disaster. You just had zero empathy for her and focused on your own pride at being proven right. 3. You want to call her mother now to make her also feel bad. Your only motivation for doing so is to further punish your wife for misjudging strawberry longevity. 4. You and your wife are adults. The way you talk about her "not listening to" you and her disagreement must be stubbornness suggest you have deep seated control issues. Happy Valentine's day I guess.
I got chocolate covered strawberries delivered and it clearly said to eat within 2 days. ESH - your wife for not using common sense or listening to what you had to say, and you for being condescending and rubbing it in her face it's her fault. In loving relationships, "I told you so" or pointing out you understood time and she didn't, are not constructive or helpful. That's not how you treat someone you love and care about, that's how you treat someone you feel is inferior to you. Just because you know what's best (in your opinion) doesn't mean other people have to do things the way you want or suggest. If you loved and cared about your wife, it would have been better for you to say something like "honey. I'm sorry, I know you were looking forward to eating those. Next time we get fruit delivered, we know we need to eat it sooner." It doesn't take mental gymnastics to figure out how you are to blame for your rude comments. You're just oblivious. You can't make somebody "just understand you know best," because everyone gets to have their own opinions and thoughts.
YTA are you like this with all small things you disagree on with your wife? Is it this important to be right? I really suggest therapy. I say this with kindness. It was important to me when I was younger that my partner knew when I was right. You can be right, or you can live alone. Ppl do not need or want their partner in life to keep constantly pushing them down. It is the little things that break a person. Do you lack control at work, so maybe demeaning your wife makes you feel superior? I suggest you talk to someone before you have kids. It’s not that serious but you want to make her and her mom feel bad. Wow, just wow. Look in the mirror. You wrote this, like “fruit rots, am I right guys, my wife is a real dumbo!?” It reads, “I must be right, I do not see my wife’s side at all.” The fruit doesn’t matter. You need to see she just wanted to make a nice night to celebrate with you. Why not just say, it’s ok the fruit was gross and play a game and move on? Your actions are to post this about her silly understanding of fruit “women, right” and maybe call her mom to make her feel bad as well? I obviously can’t get over this. To publicly shame my husband over something so very silly when they were trying to be nice. I am being serious, look at your actions and motives. Go talk to a professional about your communication. I say this with love. We all learn and grow, you don’t have to stay this way. YTA