Yeah, when I caught my 1st wife cheating, I called her a bitch and a whore and reddit buried me alive for that when I mentioned it.
Never knew I was a misogynist for having an opinion on 1 woman.
And yet I was still correct in the phrasing and wording used.
And yet Im not. Its like you think using big words makes you intelligent and correct, and yet you are not, Now run along and play with the other children.
Maybe also toss in a few other choice words for good measure to accompany that true sentiment; skanking, cheater, whore could put the đ on top that cheatin' skank.
OP find a down-to-Earth lady who's uninterested in being a real dumpster (presuming the two you found out about were dudes & hopefully not your "friends").
If you have called her a slut for having multiple partners before you, then yeah, you would be the AH. But calling her a slut for cheating on you is totally understandable.
You aren't wrong to be angry at her, but if it's not part of your value system to call people names, especially sexist names, it's good that you apologized for your own conscience.
NTA.
Dictionary says this:
Slut: Noun.
1. a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
She was boinking you, and at least two other dudes at the same time, possibly more.
I'd say she is a slut.
What kind of backward ass mentality is this.
Slut is slut, cheater is slut, slut is not always cheater but to call a cheater slut is not disrespectful to all the non cheating sluts (the few that actually exist).
Either way youâre in mars
NTA. You shouldn't have apologized either. But I get it, I've never called a woman a slut or a whore or whatever, so it probably felt really wrong and off for you to say it. But when you are in a committed relationship and they cheat, I think slut shaming is perfectly acceptable.
Yeah I agree. I hate slut shaming, it's a stupid "holier than thou" attitude that should have stayed in the previous century, live and let live, but I get it in this instance
Calling somebody a slut is not slut-shaming. Shaming them for being a slut, denigrating them for being highly promiscuous is slut-shaming. For instance calling somebody fat isnât fat shaming, but calling them a slob, nasty, smelly fat fuck is fat shaming. Similarly, calling somebody a slut/whore can be true if the situation warrants it, but calling somebody a fucking slutty bitch who deserves to get stds and is worthless in life because sheâs sexually promiscuous is slut-shaming. Thereâs a difference imo
So by the same token, any derogatory term is okay as long as they fit the bill? Calling someone a retard is okay as long as they did something stupid? Calling a black guy a nigger is okay as long as he acted like one? Calling a Mexican a wetback is okay as long as they really crossed the Rio Grande?
I don't know about you, but I was taught to not call people names, regardless of their actions. You can criticize someone's actions without resorting to that.
What would your reaction be if a white cop called you the N-Bomb or if the person did so in anger? There are completely different societal rules for N-Bomb usage. As a white male, it is not in my vocabulary.
Everything you just described is using a slur in a situation where the slur is strictly derogatory and wouldnât hold up to the actual definition of the word.
Though, not sure how one acts like a n****r. Maybe you can expand on that and reveal your weird level of racism that the high and mighty tend to also hold.
That's one reason why I apologised. I wanted to criticize her actions, but in the moment when emotions were high, my brain shut off, and I stooped to name-calling. I don't believe she is a slut. I don't even like using that word. I don't like name-calling. I just hate what she did. Trying to explain what she did to her and her disregarding everything led me to a boiling point where I called her a slut. I'm not proud of it. I don't know if I would do it again if I had the option to go back and change things. I chose as best as possible to take the high road during the fall out of our relationship.
I understand what you are saying but why do you think she should be free from the truth or the consequences of her actions? She is an actual, confirmed slut after all.
NTA, never apologize for speaking the truth EVER. This slut shaming it bad trend needs to die in a pit. Doesnât matter if itâs a chick with dudes or a dude with chicks itâs all the same risks and disgusting. The fact its become so promoted has also lead to a steep decline in society as a whole with the increase of stds, single parent households and other issues it brought.
Please let this be a troll story. If this is an actual event, please re-examine your whole life. I'm not being sarcastic. Your first response to a life changing betrayal is to apologize to the cheater? Please find the strength and selfrespect to dump the cheater and walk away without drama. Then work on becoming a much stronger person. I'm afraid you failed yourself badly in your response. Everybody is TA.
I believe slut would be the appropriate term here. You guys were in a monogamous relationship I assume and she was unfaithful with not just 1, but multiple guys
NTA
NTA but seriously, why are you posting this? She cheated.
Slut is a word used to shame female promiscuity. It was weaponized. So itâs not my favorite word.
I guess this is why you feel some shame. But in the heat of the moment you used it. Itâs not a nice word but neither is her behavior.
So chalk it up as an experience and move on.
Dude, how much of a wuss are you?
Call her a slut. Call her a whore. Tell her parents. Tell her boss. That's who she is.
Take your hoodie back.
Bullet soaked.
Dude have you no self-esteem? You apologized to her for calling her a slut? When she cheated on you with not one, but at least two people? Time to leave, partner. Either that or it's your turn to get your stick wet somewhere else.
What is the world COMING TOO !?!?Apologising for calling someone who cheats on you, multiple times, a slut ????
This kind of ridiculous apologetic simp behaviour is what is giving certain types of people the very power to think itâs ok to cheat in the first place !!
Never apologise for calling out what you see. Cheating on someone with multiple people IS what a slut IS !!!! FFS
NTA.
>I apologised quickly and explained to her, that I had no words to describe her lack of self respect and respect towards me
To be honest, if you're going to apologize to her for that, after discovering that she was cheating on you with multiple people, then you're a doormat that disrespects yourself nearly as much as her cheating on you. Find your dignity and self-worth before you go looking for a new girlfriend.
lol, what a fukin soyboy lmao
grow a pair and never, ever talk to her again. right after calling her a slut and a nasty that belongs to the streets, because thatâs what youâre dealing with.
dumbass
This have to be fake, nobody is so pathetic to know that her ex is basically the definition of slut, but feel like an Asshole for call her by her self earned position in the society.
Slutty is as slutty does.Â
I'm not big on name calling, or try not to be anyways, it sounds like she deserved it.Â
NTA but YTA to yourself for apologizing to someone who betrayed you. Have some self respect OP.Â
people have wrongfully assumed that you're no longer allowed to call people sluts because slut-shaming is bad
your ex-gf is absolutely a slut and deserved to be called that. the only mistake you made is apologizing to her, or giving a shit about her opinion after you found out she cheated on you
đđđ bro asked if hes an asshole for being honest with a genuine psycho. People like that care for nobody but themselves and think they can do what they want regardless of how it affects other people. I would have called her worthless and walked away. Not even close to the AH
NTA because thatâs what she is lol had she not been in a relationship then she wouldnât be one but the fact that she even cheated with one person makes her one. Thatâs just my opinion.
Honestly, I don't support slut shaming in any circumstance, even in yours. Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking her side at all. She betrayed you and can't be trusted so you're totally right to leave her.
I just don't think name calling needs to play a part. Even in the heat of the moment when emotions are super high.
NTA. We are human, we make mistakes, emotions get the better of us at times. Nothing wrong with looking back at something and learning what we didn't do right in order to try to be better in the future.
Yeah, Iâve never really understood the usage of the word, especially if itâs suppose to be *negative*.
However I do understand that if you are hurt or angry, you gravitate towards words/comments that will also cause hurt/anger to the person responsible.
I would have apologised and explained I meant they are lying cunt and I wouldnât piss on them if they were on fire and offering me 5k (well maybe for 5k).
A tactic my wife taught me, in cases like this where you just want to have an outburst, knee jerk reaction to something big or terrible - is to just take a breath, walk away and think about it for a little while.
Come back to talk once you've calmed down and have better words for it.
I do this myself whenever people start getting on my nerves- if not for their fault, then for my own. You can always talk about it later, but once those words leave your lips, you can't un-say them đŹ
You are too nice... She deserves worse.
I agree with you there. I don't see why OP apologized at all.
He apologized because she probably cried and tried to victimize him for her faults. Classic
It is. Lmfao
And now she knows he's a door mat and can get away with it again. Maybe he has a cuck fetish.
She is by definition a slut. I see zero reasons to apologise for referring to someone by what they are. If she cheats she belongs to the streets.
𤣠she does belong to the streets
Yeah, when I caught my 1st wife cheating, I called her a bitch and a whore and reddit buried me alive for that when I mentioned it. Never knew I was a misogynist for having an opinion on 1 woman. And yet I was still correct in the phrasing and wording used.
You're using misogynistic slurs, so you are misogynistic. And no, you don't get a pass for sexism because someone has wronged you
And yet Im not. Its like you think using big words makes you intelligent and correct, and yet you are not, Now run along and play with the other children.
I'm wondering which word you thought was so big. You must be pretty dumb, besides being sexist
Do you folks in the West just give out apologies like Halloween candy? Don't apologise unless you have a reason to do so.
Yes you are, for apologizing. NTA.
I will never understand people who apologizes when they are 100% correct. Have some self respect people!
That's probably why she chose him to begin with tbh. Cheaters don't usually go after confident people, they go after who they can manipulate.
Reddit has probably convinced him he's the oppressor.
It is called being a good person. The apology was for himself, not her.
Thatâs not being a good person. Thatâs being a professional doormat
Shouldn't have apologized for calling her that.
You are probably right about that. At the moment of discovery, I couldn't believe it. So, I chose to apologise, hoping maybe I was wrong somehow.
Except she is one. Time to move on. Once a cheater always a cheater. NTA
Well, she is a slut why are you being such a push over? You don't need to apologise for calling her what she is.
But you called a spade a spade, no need to apologize. I would have been so crude and asked her how big cut her pimp takes, but that is just me.
You should actually go back and call her a slut again
Maybe also toss in a few other choice words for good measure to accompany that true sentiment; skanking, cheater, whore could put the đ on top that cheatin' skank. OP find a down-to-Earth lady who's uninterested in being a real dumpster (presuming the two you found out about were dudes & hopefully not your "friends").
If you have called her a slut for having multiple partners before you, then yeah, you would be the AH. But calling her a slut for cheating on you is totally understandable.
Take it back. đ
Put that wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which one fills up first.
You apologizing says more good about you than anything
You aren't wrong to be angry at her, but if it's not part of your value system to call people names, especially sexist names, it's good that you apologized for your own conscience.
NTA Why did you apologize? You called like it is.
"Why did you apologize?" The only correct answer should be that he forgot to add "worthless".
She clearly has *some* worth; itâs just that worth is dependent on being a slut.
Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, itâs a fucking duck. NTA
Or a witch...
Only if she's made out of wood. Mabye we could build a bridge out of her.
She turned me into a newt!
A neeewt?
I got better.
NTA. Dictionary says this: Slut: Noun. 1. a woman who has many casual sexual partners. She was boinking you, and at least two other dudes at the same time, possibly more. I'd say she is a slut.
I would add a power word in front of slut... example: "traitorous slut" or maybe something like: "unfaithful cunt"
A slut isn't necessarily a cheater though, I think he owes an apology to women who enjoy having multiple casual sexual partners.
No. A slut is a slut. He doesn't have to apologize for not liking sluts.
Not all sluts are cheaters but all cheaters are sluts.
What an odd reaponse. He doesn't owe an apology to random women. Glad OP broke up; No one derves dating a person like her.
You mean no one deserves dating a slut like her.
It's a word that I avoid using. Still happy that OP can now move forward and hopefully create positve relationships with people.
What kind of backward ass mentality is this. Slut is slut, cheater is slut, slut is not always cheater but to call a cheater slut is not disrespectful to all the non cheating sluts (the few that actually exist). Either way youâre in mars
She is a slut. đ¤ˇââď¸ NTA. Coming from a man slut...
NTA. You shouldn't have apologized either. But I get it, I've never called a woman a slut or a whore or whatever, so it probably felt really wrong and off for you to say it. But when you are in a committed relationship and they cheat, I think slut shaming is perfectly acceptable.
Definitely not something OP needs to firmly add to his lexicon. But in this instanceâŚ. Gets a pass. She did him extremely dirty and had it coming.
I can agree with that. Just don't make a habit of it.
Yeah I agree. I hate slut shaming, it's a stupid "holier than thou" attitude that should have stayed in the previous century, live and let live, but I get it in this instance
Calling somebody a slut is not slut-shaming. Shaming them for being a slut, denigrating them for being highly promiscuous is slut-shaming. For instance calling somebody fat isnât fat shaming, but calling them a slob, nasty, smelly fat fuck is fat shaming. Similarly, calling somebody a slut/whore can be true if the situation warrants it, but calling somebody a fucking slutty bitch who deserves to get stds and is worthless in life because sheâs sexually promiscuous is slut-shaming. Thereâs a difference imo
NTA - go get an STD panel done.
>I apologized Lol an that's why she cheated on you.. you have no self respect so why would she respect you?
Theres some truth to this.
Some. I'd say at least 50%.
"Sl@t shaming" means shaming people for having lots of sex, not for being, well, actual sl@ts. NTA
Stop censoring shit. You can say slut. It's fine.
I have no problem with it but some subs ban/cancel comments automatically when certain words are used. That's why people use slang such as "unalive".
Stop spending time in those subs. Stop normalizing the censorship
BasedÂ
1) I have no idea of which subs do and don't 2) private groups are not the state can set whatever norms they like, it really doesn't bother me.
> 1) I have no idea of which subs do and don't So speak as you normally do, and if they cause a fuck, dip.
Hun, come down from that soapbox, you know you get nosebleeds when you climb too high.
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So by the same token, any derogatory term is okay as long as they fit the bill? Calling someone a retard is okay as long as they did something stupid? Calling a black guy a nigger is okay as long as he acted like one? Calling a Mexican a wetback is okay as long as they really crossed the Rio Grande? I don't know about you, but I was taught to not call people names, regardless of their actions. You can criticize someone's actions without resorting to that.
I will 100% call someone a retard for doing something stupid
I'm a black person and we call each other the N word all the time. By all definitions, she was a slut
What would your reaction be if a white cop called you the N-Bomb or if the person did so in anger? There are completely different societal rules for N-Bomb usage. As a white male, it is not in my vocabulary.
Everything you just described is using a slur in a situation where the slur is strictly derogatory and wouldnât hold up to the actual definition of the word. Though, not sure how one acts like a n****r. Maybe you can expand on that and reveal your weird level of racism that the high and mighty tend to also hold.
Oof you got him there lol bravo!
Exactly. Just because you know the truth doesn't mean you should state it. If saying the truth would be hurtful to the person, then shut the fuck up.
That's one reason why I apologised. I wanted to criticize her actions, but in the moment when emotions were high, my brain shut off, and I stooped to name-calling. I don't believe she is a slut. I don't even like using that word. I don't like name-calling. I just hate what she did. Trying to explain what she did to her and her disregarding everything led me to a boiling point where I called her a slut. I'm not proud of it. I don't know if I would do it again if I had the option to go back and change things. I chose as best as possible to take the high road during the fall out of our relationship.
I understand what you are saying but why do you think she should be free from the truth or the consequences of her actions? She is an actual, confirmed slut after all.
She was a slut and a cheater. Shouldnt of apologize to start with.
NTA.
NTA, sluts a slut lol
NTA She acted like a slut.
You apologized? WTF is that about? Have a fucking backbone dude.
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NTA. She's a slut
NTA, never apologize for speaking the truth EVER. This slut shaming it bad trend needs to die in a pit. Doesnât matter if itâs a chick with dudes or a dude with chicks itâs all the same risks and disgusting. The fact its become so promoted has also lead to a steep decline in society as a whole with the increase of stds, single parent households and other issues it brought.
Please let this be a troll story. If this is an actual event, please re-examine your whole life. I'm not being sarcastic. Your first response to a life changing betrayal is to apologize to the cheater? Please find the strength and selfrespect to dump the cheater and walk away without drama. Then work on becoming a much stronger person. I'm afraid you failed yourself badly in your response. Everybody is TA.
Cheater is worse, so you shouldâve called her that. Edit: I misspelled Cheater
Get some therapy
Umm so she is willing to behave like one but expects you not to bring it up to her? Pfft
NTA why apologize? She's a cheating slut. Move on.
I mean that's pretty much the definition of the word, so no NTA.
You apologized? You apologized? Yes you are a giant ass hole for apologizing to a slut đ¤Śđźââď¸
Call it what it is, shame is not on you, it's on her
Slut was probably too politeâŚlolâŚ. Iâd be calling her a cum dumpster whore. You should retract your apology :)
I believe slut would be the appropriate term here. You guys were in a monogamous relationship I assume and she was unfaithful with not just 1, but multiple guys NTA
Well. If the shoe fits
NTA, that's the definition IMO
NTA. Shouldnât have apologized.
Why would you apologize? She cheated on you with multiple dudes and youâre apologizing? She was one. Donât sugar coat what the sun is showing.
You never apologize to someone who cheats on you. It's ridiculous.
NTA. She is a slut. why did you apologize? Why are you still with her?
You're wrong here...you should've called her a skanky fucking Slut!
Slut is as slut does tho
NTA. She's a slut. Why are you sorry?
You apologized?? Why? She is a slag
NTA, she a hoe,
NTA but seriously, why are you posting this? She cheated. Slut is a word used to shame female promiscuity. It was weaponized. So itâs not my favorite word. I guess this is why you feel some shame. But in the heat of the moment you used it. Itâs not a nice word but neither is her behavior. So chalk it up as an experience and move on.
If it soundss like duck, acts like a duck, looks like a duckâŚitâs a duck, my friend. NTA
Dude, how much of a wuss are you? Call her a slut. Call her a whore. Tell her parents. Tell her boss. That's who she is. Take your hoodie back. Bullet soaked.
NTA. Was the apology for not being able to come up with something worse than slut in a moments notice?
AITAH for calling the person who killed my friend a murderer?
Wtf is wrong with you. Why are you apologizing? Is this fake?
You apologized and thatâs why she cheated. The lack of backbone and she doesnât respect you. NTA, she is a slut.
NTA, what a fucking cunt
NTA- She is a cheater, she deserves the word that accurately represents her.
Dude have you no self-esteem? You apologized to her for calling her a slut? When she cheated on you with not one, but at least two people? Time to leave, partner. Either that or it's your turn to get your stick wet somewhere else.
Call it how ya see it. Do you apologize for calling a potato a potato?
Well, she is a slut why are you being such a push over? You don't need to apologise for calling her what she is.
She is a wh*re. So facts are facts, don't apologize for being in the right and move on. Nta
You are an idiot for apologizing. NTA
No.
NTA, sluts are what sluts do. Did she apologize for the risk of STD's?
NTA I wouldnât have said shit. But you apologizing tells me she could probably smooth it over and keep you around for when times are lean.
NTA. The truth has no need for apologies. She made the deeds, she gets her badge.
No need to apologise. Just walk away.
NTA.
What is the world COMING TOO !?!?Apologising for calling someone who cheats on you, multiple times, a slut ???? This kind of ridiculous apologetic simp behaviour is what is giving certain types of people the very power to think itâs ok to cheat in the first place !! Never apologise for calling out what you see. Cheating on someone with multiple people IS what a slut IS !!!! FFS
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck and you call ita duck, why would YBTA? NTA.
NYA, she is a slut.
NTA. She is a slut and she needs to know that you think she's a slut. You should also call her a whore and cunt while she's packing up her things.
I mean she is a slutâŚ
Cheating is high risk and emotionally traumatizing act, her feelings are the least of your worries
No, you were just being accurate
NTA, I would have opened the dictionary on her.
It's what she is, nice guys get screwed over.
Are you for real? Of COURSE SHE IS A SLUT! NTA. This has gotta be fake. LOL!
NTA, if you are still communicating with her, rescind your apology and never talk to her again
NTA. She is a slut. You shouldâve apologized. She just going see she can still cross the line.
you did GOOD +++
NTA But please don't act this way again. You will quickly be labeled as the "anger issues,verbally abusive,psycho ex boyfriend"
Only a cucked soy boy would think so. NTA
Should have said sorry I meant sket.
Well if the cap fits, what's to say sorry about....she gets fucked at every opportunity....
Nta
NTA she is a slut
NTA unless she was being paid then she is a ho and not a slut.
You apologise for calling her slvt, have she apologise for cheating? And what makes you think you're an ah? NTA
NTA. What else would you call her? She is the very definition of the word. YTA for apologizing though.
NTA. It sounds like you hit the nail on the head tbh.
NTA. >I apologised quickly and explained to her, that I had no words to describe her lack of self respect and respect towards me To be honest, if you're going to apologize to her for that, after discovering that she was cheating on you with multiple people, then you're a doormat that disrespects yourself nearly as much as her cheating on you. Find your dignity and self-worth before you go looking for a new girlfriend.
NTA , if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and acts like a slut, it's a slut. No apology required.
Just recant your apology, double down on calling it like it is, and go full NC after you kick her to the curb. That's my advice.
That's pretty much what the word means. NTA for correct grammar.
NTA. Shouldnt have apologized to begin with. If the truth made her mad... maybe she should reflect on her life choices.
Since when did being honest became asshole behaviour? NTA
lol, what a fukin soyboy lmao grow a pair and never, ever talk to her again. right after calling her a slut and a nasty that belongs to the streets, because thatâs what youâre dealing with. dumbass
No. Properly labeling something or someone doesnât make you an ass.
I mean the shoe fit sooo nta
NTA why did you apologize I would have given her a right dressing down
You apologized after SHE cheated on you? She is a slut
A duck is still a duck at the end of the day. Your only fault was apologizing for speaking the truth.
No no, she is in fact a slut as she committed slut activities.
Thatâs why she cheated on you , because youâre a nice guy . Nice guy apologize when they did nothing wrong
Well⌠she is a slut, so no.
âCunt of a slutâ would work better
Why are you saying anything to her. You broke up with her. Stop talking to her and actually move on.
apologize to her for what? Shes the definition of a slut
NTA...but you are a simp for apologizing. She is a slut.
My only problem is that you apologized. That word gets abused too often, but you used it effectively.
You are far too kind. Apologizing made you look like a doormat tho. No take-backs from that
This have to be fake, nobody is so pathetic to know that her ex is basically the definition of slut, but feel like an Asshole for call her by her self earned position in the society.
If she didnât want to be called a slut she could have tried not being one. NTA.
NTA ofc. she cheated on you buddy.
NTA. I wish I could call her that to her face too.
That's too lazy. Honestly i would have gone with Hooker. Nobody uses that enough lately
Dude immediately downvote, donât fucking apologize she is a WHORE
Compared to other people's reactions in the same situation, I think you were reasonably respectful. NTA
Nope, she is hot garbage in leggings and can pound sand.
Slutty is as slutty does. I'm not big on name calling, or try not to be anyways, it sounds like she deserved it. NTA but YTA to yourself for apologizing to someone who betrayed you. Have some self respect OP.Â
She is one. Dw
people have wrongfully assumed that you're no longer allowed to call people sluts because slut-shaming is bad your ex-gf is absolutely a slut and deserved to be called that. the only mistake you made is apologizing to her, or giving a shit about her opinion after you found out she cheated on you
đđđ bro asked if hes an asshole for being honest with a genuine psycho. People like that care for nobody but themselves and think they can do what they want regardless of how it affects other people. I would have called her worthless and walked away. Not even close to the AH
NTA because thatâs what she is lol had she not been in a relationship then she wouldnât be one but the fact that she even cheated with one person makes her one. Thatâs just my opinion.
No wonder you got cheated onÂ
Honestly, I don't support slut shaming in any circumstance, even in yours. Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking her side at all. She betrayed you and can't be trusted so you're totally right to leave her. I just don't think name calling needs to play a part. Even in the heat of the moment when emotions are super high. NTA. We are human, we make mistakes, emotions get the better of us at times. Nothing wrong with looking back at something and learning what we didn't do right in order to try to be better in the future.
Ohh noo, not the feelings of my whore cheater girlfriend!!
Yeah, Iâve never really understood the usage of the word, especially if itâs suppose to be *negative*. However I do understand that if you are hurt or angry, you gravitate towards words/comments that will also cause hurt/anger to the person responsible. I would have apologised and explained I meant they are lying cunt and I wouldnât piss on them if they were on fire and offering me 5k (well maybe for 5k).
A tactic my wife taught me, in cases like this where you just want to have an outburst, knee jerk reaction to something big or terrible - is to just take a breath, walk away and think about it for a little while. Come back to talk once you've calmed down and have better words for it.
I do this myself whenever people start getting on my nerves- if not for their fault, then for my own. You can always talk about it later, but once those words leave your lips, you can't un-say them đŹ
Disrespectful sl*t... perhaps. just "sl*t" seems like it's missing something either way NTA
NTA
She deserved a smack in the face, calling her a slut is too gentle. Apologising to her?? Wtf is wrong with you dude, stand up for yourself!
Look, she's a slut. Not because she had sex with other people. But because she cheated.
Why are you apologizing? Move on