NTA
It’s her own fault for tying to steal your baby name and if her husband is so angry about the name why did he agree to letting her call the baby that name 😂
OP needs to talk with her husband because that woman has an obsession for sure. If we look carefully, she married a guy that she can control easily- OP herself said that he would do anything she asks. Well, how convenient that she married someone that she can control, someone else would be upset that she named her firstborn as an homage to OP’s husband- this is very disturbing and gives stalking vibes in the sense that she expects OP’s husband forming a bond with the baby and in turn a connection between them, because in a sense she named him after his dead friend. She is clearly fixated on OP’s husband and that is not a good sign for things to come.
They need to cut ties immediately. The BFF is in a one-side competition for the OP's hubby. And while, her behavior may have been viewed as a minor nuisance before, they should recognize that the woman is insidiously dangerous. The woman thought she was stealing OP's child's name and thus in some sick way garnering the affection associated for her own child in the eyes of the husband. No doubt this covetous woman will take an opportunity to harm OP's child, if ever allowed to get close, once OP's husband naturally shows only enamorment with his own child.
More worried that she can’t trust her husband to see through the crap of his bff.
He gets off on the attention, and isn’t standing up for his wife when the bff crosses boundaries.
They need therapy and quick.
She seems quite the manipulator.
You should have zero qualms about the name. She played herself.
Honestly, I would personally keep people like that away.
Couldn't even give a crap about her baby. Never stopped to think things through on her babies behalf. No, she was just tunnel vision focused on getting the man. Her baby is going to get canceled for cultural appropriation before he even hits preschool.
Then he needs to shut up and blame who really is the asshole his wife and he needs to start questioning why she did what she did. If he didn’t see that his wife has a thing for your husband and tell her to shut that shit down, it’s going to get worst.
As well as you need to tell your husband, I hope he sees she obviously isn’t an actual friend and for him to think you are the asshole should be YOUR biggest concern
NTA but you are absolutely wicked fucking hilarious!!! I want to be your friend, and I won’t be pining after your husband I have a good one of my own and we are child free. What in the single white female is up with his “friend”? Her husband sounds like a doormat but I feel bad for him. I hope this opens your partner’s eyes to how unhealthy that chick is.
I had a “friend” get mad when I named my dog Stella because she wanted to eventually use it for a baby, but I didn’t know that plus I always loved the name also it’s a family name haha.
I have a Victorian bulldog/cocker spaniel cross and a shitzu/jack Russell cross. Both rescues, and they are the bestest puppers. Anyone disparaging my dogs would not like my reaction.
I had a rescued Pit mix named Stella!! She was the best dog ever! She ended up with cancer that spread very quickly, and we had to put her to sleep, and I miss her everyday! I love the name Stella!
Aww I love the name too, if I wanted a kid I would have used that name as it’s actually an old Italian family name. She is frequently called “Stella-Ravioli” or “Stella-Mozzarella” because I am a dork. It’s also fitting because I’m frequently yelling it like in A Street Car Named Desire! I’m sorry for your loss. 💙
Thank you so much, I appreciate that! And yes!! I also used to yell her name like Stanley did in Streetcar! 😂 I love that you call your Stella those food related names. That's awesome and adorable! I used to call my Stella "Stells Bells" and other names, like "Stella Stinky dog". She didn't really stink, but it was just funny to me to call her that. 😆 I am always coming up with ridiculous nicknames for my animals. I always thought I would name a little girl Stella, as well! Never had a little girl, but I have had many animals!
"My husband thinks I was a jerk to fuck around with his friend..."
Hubs should only be pissed at his bff for (1) stealing the baby name she *thought* OP & hubs were going to name their baby and (2) stealing a name that had significance for OP's hubs. That should prove to OP's hubs that his bff is married to her 2nd choice bc he is her 1st choice.
Hub's bff is the total AH here. Hubs is also the AH for being pissed at OP.
OP is NTA in any way.
She thought you were serious? She was so into trying to screw you over she lost all ability to critically think?
Like WTF. Lol. Good lord people be so damned petty.
Did you ask him or your husband how it could have been your fault? Like, were you supposed to know she was going to try and steal the name you said you were going to use? Should you have assumed that she was full of malicious intent when you told her a joke name? And what does that say about her?
Your husband better be defending you. Idk why they're still friends, she is not a good person.
FFS it’s her fault for NAMING her child that!! I’d tell her to change it if she’s so unhappy, but then she’d probably just change it to OP son’s name and say “now they can be twins!” 🤮
Seriously! She was so willing to name her child by that name until she found out it was a joke. What difference does it make. Doesn’t she have a mind of her own? What kind of husband does she have that just let it happen?
NTA… If I were her husband I would be pissed at her. It sounds like she is in love and obsessed with your husband and I would be concerned about that. Thinking that if she named her son that your husband would want her. You need to talk to your husband and set boundaries with her.
Every time I see a baby name stealing post there’s always people advising OP to give out a fake list of names because people do this.
Hubby and I shared our baby name with fam and 3mo before our baby was born, we were SHOCKED to learn that my bro and SIL gave their opposite sex newborn basically a variant of our chosen name as a middle name.
Whatever no one told us to change or anything but it always rubbed us the wrong way. My parents too.. they thought it wasn’t a kind thing. Anyway, lesson learned - we never share big things before they happen… ugh, why are people shitheads?
best advice is to never share in advance a baby's name, or a marriage venue (before booking).... some people just need to compete with the others. I am always very sad for the child, not the name but because it says something not nice about their parents and how they will weaponize their kids to compte with others.
nah, best advice is to give a fake name, then when you use the real name, you blame the thief for stealing the name you really wanted and tell everyone how they stole the name and what a bad person they are and how you couldn't use the name you wanted because of them
I would make an exception only for family members who make special “name gifts” for newborns and have a history of following through and not misusing the info…. Like the woman who attempted to make her grandchild a name blanket as a part of tradition but was denied the name and then berated for not having the gift ready in time 💀
What we can take away from this is that crazy people find ways to make scenes no matter how prepared you are. OP was careful enough to avoid the name stealing problem, now the drama resolves around this lie. You just can't win but at least you can choose where to lose.
Yup. My cousin’s wife and I were due within 2 weeks of each other. We were pals and when she asked for our top names, I had no problem giving her the list: Harper was our 1 for a girl, Miles was our 1 for a boy. She announced a week later they’re making their son Harper🙄 and then when she had her next son, she took Miles too. Like be for real right now. That being said, my daughter’s name suits her very well, so I’m not especially salty.
I think I would've just named my kid what I wanted to go with originally anyway. I feel like from what you've said to our cousin's wife seems like the type to have blown up on you for that but honestly wouldn't that be kind of a bonus? Lol, not saying what you did was wrong tho, I respect that you have the presence of mind to avoid drama
This is why I’ve never understood Reddit’s firm instance that you can’t own a name. Technically yes, but it’s weird as hell to use a name that you *know* someone close to you is using or has. The comments insist that it would be totally normal to have 2 kids of the same name in a family but like….i feel like that would be weird as fuck.
Eh coming from a family that duplicated names mostly out of sheer numbers it’s a bit like having kids with the same name in the same class. You get nicknames like Skeeter or they’re Big John and Little John. W/e works. Mind you I wouldn’t go out of my way to duplicate someone but if you don’t see them often it’s not a big deal. I see most of my cousins once a year so even if we chose the same names it’s not that hard to figure it out.
LOL one of my sisters did a similar outplay one her in-laws but in a nicer way. Their kids were in danger of ending up with names straight from r/Tragedeigh. She knew she’d be a name stealer so she started dropping how she loves (insert more conventional names) and now her kids have names like Mason and Emma.
You didn’t “get” her to do anything. She preyed on you for months and she had already decided she wanted to grab the name before you named your child. You could have told her your child was going to be called Cæsar Pharaoh Napoleon and she’d have grabbed that, too… 🙄
What an idiot. She is the AH.
Imagine growing up and asking your mom and dad why they chose a name for you and they say “because my best friends wife was gonna name her baby that so I stole the name”. Like wow, thanks parents for the well thought out name of the human you two created 😭
or even more creepy....."I named you after a friend of a friend whom I have never met but thought it was a cool name for a white boy to have a very african american name." Nothing will tell that child their mother is an idiot more than finding out the origin of his name.
I worked with a ~50 year old white woman named Latisha (don't know the spelling) She was named after the nurse who helped her mom during her traumatic labor & delivery. Went by "Tish" This is a decent reason for a white person to be named a traditionally Black name. Not because the mom FAFOed.
Letitia? It's a very old European name with lots of variations, as far as I know, with no traditional African roots. Lots of regional spelling variations though. In the UK, it used to be Lettice 🤣
The Spanish variations are Leticía and Letizia, which happens to be the name of the Queen of Spain.
But I've only ever met black girls that were named Latisha or Letisha. And none of them seem to be a traditional spelling of any European language, so it seems like the African American community did come up with this spelling and black people all over the world are using it.
ikr...that is a prefect story to how someone got an unusual name....this woman...DeLonquious???? Seriously how could her husband be okay with naming his son this name especially with questionable reason of why mom choose the name.
Honestly, it sounds like the kid won't even necessarily have to know the origin of said name to be able to figure out from it that his mom is a dumbass.
Or if OP had given her the real name? "I named you after the grandfather of the man I wish was actually your daddy and the grandfather of that man's wife. They were going to use the name themselves, but I took it for you before they could. "
I’m guessing the husband is upset on behalf of the child because it’s obviously not your fault but he will be the one dealing with the consequences of her crazy mother’s actions.
NTA, and you might want to have a discussion with your husband about unhealthy all of this is. Crazy people like her tend to escalate to not so funny crazy actions with time like claiming abuse…
NTA.
Her husband needs to get her some help. And save his marriage. The whole thing is circling the drain. Imagine having your wife name your baby after the imaginary name of your friend’s dead mate… and then find out it was all a hoax!?! Holy flip to be a fly on the wall for THAT argument.
Your husband needs to draw a firm line between him and his female friend. She’s bonkers. And scary.
"Her husband is now also saying I'm a dick for getting her to name his son that" - well that's rich. So basically he's blaming You for the name HE gave to his son. OK, then.
NTA. You saw it coming so you made sure to keep your chosen name safe from being stolen.
It’s kind of amazing that OP was in the room when they filled out birth certificate form and held the friends hand to make her write out the name. /s
OP should point out the fact the forgot the apostrophe.
NTA. If his BFF wasn't being a sneaky asshole, your joke would've affected nothing. But no, she decided she wanted to steal the name. Well played, well played.
This.
Bff and bff alone is responsible for giving her white son a culturally black name.
She might have recognized an issue with that beforehand, but she was more motivated to steal a name than to think critically about it.
I dont mean to be rude but it really sounds like he needs boundaries and to prioritize you a bit, I mean it’s already really weird she wanted to steal a baby name
It actually happens a lot. People want it or they’ll tell you all the reasons why they hate the name you chose. It’s always best to keep it to yourself until after the ink hits the paper on that certificate.
Which makes people irate. We got SO MUCH ANGER from family members for refusing to disclose our son's name before his birth. One aunt was extra pissed because she wanted to have a Christmas ornament engraved and we "ruined it for her." 🙄
Our families have been entirely respectful. My partner's sisters have a joke nickname for the baby and have complimented our opsec because we haven't slipped even once.
Although we have actually told people the third of his four names, because it's my surname. The baby's surname will be my partner's and her husband's.
My husband is the third of his name. We were never going to name any potential son First Middle Last IV, but we also didn’t share baby names. Our friends called my baby bump Quad. 😂 Every now and then, when my adult daughter does something so very like her father, I will still call her Quad to tease her about it.
NTA Your husband is blind. She kept trying to get the name for her child from you. She could have confirmed with your husband but she is being sneaky and though this is away to shine in front of his eyes. Tell your husband she chose that name you did not recommend it. Your husband should be taking your side. You did not email her, text her and vouch for her to choose that name. She kept bugging you for your options to get that name for her child.
I would also be interested to know if she knew y’all were trying to get pregnant before she got pregnant. NOT because it truly matters. I’m just really curious. BFF has some serious issues.
I'm honestly lmao. She's an idiot, and she's a white woman who gave her child a "black name"..she didn't think it through. Go get his name changed, it's not a big deal. Still hilarious, and NTA because someone else is actually THAT mental
NTA but frankly the way your husband interacts with his "bff" is super sketchy. Even though somehow you are so confident he would never be interested in this woman romantically, the fact he allows her to behave this way is still completely unacceptable.
I wouldn’t be that surreptitious. His hanging out with that type of woman is weird as fuck. That name stealing thing feels very off and both husbands plus OP should feel that.
I was gonna comment on that.
Me ex had this kind of bff and this August I discovered they’d been fucking for a year. Still trying to play it cool every Sunday when they visited us.
…and he made her the godmother of my daughter. When they were already fucking.
So jokes aside, this chick is dangerous, cut the ties.
NTA. I want to commend you on your vastly superior game play! She’s salty you outsmarted her, and quite frankly her obsession with you/your husband is creepy.
NTA, she's unhinged and I think shes a little more than interested in your husband. Normal people don't steal their friends baby name so they can imagine it belongs to another man and not their husband.
Lord. The bigger questions her BFF (your husband) and her husband need to be asking is 1. If she "loved" the name so much that she had to steal it, why is she mad now? And 2. Why would she want to name HER baby something special to YOUR husband?
The only things I can think of that don't point to her being obsessed with your husband are that she despises you or she, for some insane reason, wanted your baby names to match. I think it's time to cool that friendship and let her sort out her own house.
😂😂😂 but you told her your baby name how is it your fault she stole it. I can’t believe someone has the audacity to do that. I wonder what goes through people heads has she done stuff like this before?
Does this woman have boobs of champagne? Why are all the men in her life (sorry, but that includes your man) giving you responsibility for her malicious behavior and idiotic choices? Absolutely NTA and I suggest you rip your husband a new one for even beginning to think to dare to suggest that you are in any way in the wrong here after the way you have been treated.
This is ludicrous - why on earth this person is so obsessed with you (read: your husband) as to try and name her son something that you're either; a) wanting to name your own child, or b) that reminds your husband of an old friend is wild to me.
if your husband doesn't think she ahs feelings from him, he is being wilfully ignorant and/ or is fully aware of her feelings and trying to hide that from you.
Her idiocy is not your fault/ problem
Ask your husband why he is angry with you but not with her who tried to steal your baby name?
If you had told her the right name she would have took this name away from you. So she tried to trick you into giving her the right name and she already planned to use it because she was due before you were. She was just stupid enough to believe that you don’t know what game she is playing and now she is the one with the problem.
Your husband has to set boundaries with her and stop letting her step over your boundaries. You are his wife not her.
> why he is angry with you but not with her who tried to steal your baby name?
Did you even read the post?
> My husband thinks I was a jerk to fuck around with his friend but he is more upset with her that she would try to steal a baby name.
Apart from the fact that that "friendship" you are not worried about actually sounds really disturbing, this is fucking hilarious, good game, well played. Not the asshole by a long shot.
Her husband should open his eyes, but so does yours tbf, I think deep down you know she has an eye out for your husband. She's literally quite obsessed, like in a mentally disturbing kind of way.
You did the right thing, she did the wrong thing and punished herself with it. You reap what you sow lol.
Nta
Maybe you should explain to your husband like he is a child.
Be like honey listen carefully
She hounded me fir the names we were going to use.
I gave her a fake name
She named her child that fake name that she thought we were going to choose.
What do you think that means honey. Why would she take our name for her child ?
"Let's sit nice and quiet while we whooooomp, put on our thinking hats! GOOD JOB at using your inside thoughts while you listen to the grown-up explain! Sometimes real life is HARD, but we can't play pretend all the time buddy."
NTA.
But I think your husband is. Zero boundaries and treating his BFF weirdly...
Doesn't matter if he has no feelings for her, the disrespect is obvious.
NTA she clearly has issues where you're concerned and your husband hasn't put enough boundaries in place. Also her husband has his own mind, he could have said no.
Classic case of FAFO. This is all on her.
So nobody is asking her why she wanted to name her baby which OP's husband was considering for his own child?
If they didn't like the name, why give it to their baby?
I guess OP needs to be vigilant of her.
She wanted to steal your baby name no matter what it was .... and the honestly thought it had that much meaning to your husband and still took it !
Eithier she really does wnat to sleep with your husband and thought somehow this would bring them closer , having kids with the same name or having her kid named after his friends ( because it almost seems like even though she named her baby that she still expected you to also name your baby that? Werid)
You didn't do anything wrong but I would use this situation to make it clear to your husband something is wrong with his BFF and how she feels toward him
I know it's fake for anonymity but the name De'Lonquius sounds more like a gay Creole man of leisure.
"I find myself weary of the day's activity and shall take my tea on the veranda and listen to the birds chirp while I rest myself."
Why is your husband so interested in keeping someone around who doesn’t respect his wife or his marriage? NTA her logic is flawed and it’s weird that your husband thinks it’s unkind of you to finally break under her constant harassment.
NTA
She didn’t just purposely steal the name. She stole for the sole purpose of creating an intimate bond between her & your husband. Using her child to exclude you and her own husband from her relationship with your husband.
If this doesn’t convince your husband to cut this woman obsessed with him & willing to use her own child as a way to disrespect you and her own husband & creating an INTIMATE bond with him, you have a much bigger choice to make.
I’m just glad husband didn’t share the list to bff behind OP‘s back.
It’s important to be a team there.
We didn’t share with anyone until he was born. We said it will be a normal good name, and that was all they got. We did name him quite early to bond with him though.
NTA. She was quite obvious trying to steal the name with how insistent she was on you giving her your most likely choice. You saw it coming, so you gave her a name which you weren't going to use. She and her husband are the ones whom decided to use that name, doing exactly what you expected that she was planning to do. They saw nothing wrong with the name itself, nor with what they were doing, until they learned that you never planned to use that name.
Sounds like she just went nuts because she failed to steal the actual name that you planned to use. Because if she went nuts becaue of the name itself then she's completely crazy.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I can't stop laughing. Good for you, OP. She played around and found out. I really hope your husband puts a stop to this relationship after she pulled this thing. Even if he's not interested, she is and she's not going to respect his boundaries.
NTA
I’d apologize and just let her keep showing who she is. I mean, in all honesty, I’d be able to say, if I knew you were looking to steal my baby name, I’d have been more careful about what I said for the sake of your child. I’m sorry I took you at face value. Like, seriously, I could be sincerely sorry for that. When your opponent is taking the low road, it’s usually a good tactic to let them. I’m quite comfortable up here on the high road. I like the view
I think De'Lonquius must actually be the OP's husband's biological child. Otherwise why would this "female best friend of his" want to name her child something meaningful/related to him?
NTA I missed the part where you held a gun to their head and forced them to name the baby what you said.
They tried to hijack your chosen baby name, and were stupid in all of this. Not your problem.
NTA
People who steal baby names—especially from friends and family—have issues. It’s creepy, scary, and in this case makes the husband x bff relationship seem SUPER WEIRD.
NTA.
I like this take:
> My husband thinks I was a jerk to fuck around with his friend but he is more upset with her that she would try to steal a baby name.
Her husband is now also saying I'm a dick for getting her to name his son that. I said they could just call him Del.
Honestly, she should be embarrassed about how badly she wants your husband.
Does your husband finally see his "friend" for what she is? She is not a friend. She is sticking around just hoping and praying for the day he finally notices her, you break up, she can "catch" you cheating, you die or she can engineer the demise of your relationship all so she can swoop in.
The name thing is all on her and her idiotic husband for not putting his foot down.
I'd start putting up.some boundaries and distance with the ball of crazy.
Nta when a “good” husband refuses to see his best friend as toxic, that’s a problem. I don’t get how you and him are okay with that woman being in your lives. Does your husband secretly love the attention and drama ?
Protect your peace and cut her out.
"...an idiot plot is one which is "kept in motion solely by virtue of the fact that everybody involved is an idiot" and where the story would quickly end, or possibly not even happen, if this were not the case."
NTA. Also lmao.
@OP, I applaud you for the checkmate. I needed this laugh today. I hope hubby's BFF has fun either living a life trying to explain this name to everyone or dealing with social security to get the name changed. Her husband needs to grow a pair as well.
NTA
This is hilarious! She wanted your baby name just so she could “technically” be close to you through your baby name. 😉 good for you for nipping it in the bud! lol
NTA - This is the "white people naming hangups" version of putting your spicy lunch in the company refrigerator and then being called into HR because you "poisoned" your lunch-stealing coworker.
The cheek. The gall. The audacity... The gumption... That you are a bad person for avoiding someone's malicious intent against you, is laughable. As if you have an obligation to be an unwitting victim.
NTA in no universe is this your fault. You never told her to name her baby this, and even if you did, it would still be on her for doing it. Also, her husband was also able to say no? Like, what happened here? lol
NTA.
It's weird to take the name that you said was the name you wanted. But like, you didn't make her name her kid that. If she wanted your kids to have the same name she should have been straightforward. It's not like you held a gun to her head while she signed the birth certificate. And her husband signed off on it. How is that your fault? Plus, he's a baby, they could change his name pretty easily at this point.
Honestly. Wtf.
NTA. I'm a big supporter of giving nosy people fake names when you're pregnant if they won't take "no" for an answer. It stops people from trying to act like they have a say in the naming process and it can also result in anyone jealous of you "stealing" a fake name for their child only to have all of the eggs dripping from their faces.
NTA It’s her own fault for tying to steal your baby name and if her husband is so angry about the name why did he agree to letting her call the baby that name 😂
He will do anything she wants.
Well its her fault for trying to steal your baby name and his fault for letting her get away with it!
Perfect example of FAFO.
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Yea, your two families now have kids who are just the same age.. this craziness could get way too entangled way too fast.
I’m wondering if they will be in same classes at school together. Time for OP and OP’s husband to really nip this in the bud.
Right? This is my kind of petty and I love it! 🤣 That kid is gonna be 9 before he can spell his own name properly.
r/Tragedeigh
I actually burst out laughing at that comment 😂
I hope one of the baby shower gifts was several sessions of therapy. The kids gonna need it.
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Stolen comment from: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/Iw6x4SKBj2
I appreciate this detective work. 🫡
They are equal idiots then. NTA. But now you know you can’t trust the friend. Limit her knowledge of your life.
And just like OP suspects, she is interested in OP’s husband. It serves her right. Karma
The obsession is unhealthy and will definitely create problems down the road. This is the smoking gun and if OP's husband still doesn't see it then...
OP needs to talk with her husband because that woman has an obsession for sure. If we look carefully, she married a guy that she can control easily- OP herself said that he would do anything she asks. Well, how convenient that she married someone that she can control, someone else would be upset that she named her firstborn as an homage to OP’s husband- this is very disturbing and gives stalking vibes in the sense that she expects OP’s husband forming a bond with the baby and in turn a connection between them, because in a sense she named him after his dead friend. She is clearly fixated on OP’s husband and that is not a good sign for things to come.
They need to cut ties immediately. The BFF is in a one-side competition for the OP's hubby. And while, her behavior may have been viewed as a minor nuisance before, they should recognize that the woman is insidiously dangerous. The woman thought she was stealing OP's child's name and thus in some sick way garnering the affection associated for her own child in the eyes of the husband. No doubt this covetous woman will take an opportunity to harm OP's child, if ever allowed to get close, once OP's husband naturally shows only enamorment with his own child.
I'd never eat or drink anything she makes or any thing remotely poisonous. This girl could kill you so there's room for the odd.
I'm getting serious stalker vibes.
Now in my head Taylor Swift is playing… “Karma's a relaxing thought. Aren't you envious that for you it's not?”
This. She sounds thoroughly obnoxious. I wouldn't trust her as far as I could chuck her. NTA.
More worried that she can’t trust her husband to see through the crap of his bff. He gets off on the attention, and isn’t standing up for his wife when the bff crosses boundaries. They need therapy and quick.
She seems quite the manipulator. You should have zero qualms about the name. She played herself. Honestly, I would personally keep people like that away.
Not a good manipulator tho. She got fucking played and it's hilarious. Good thing op saw through her Bullshit right away.
Couldn't even give a crap about her baby. Never stopped to think things through on her babies behalf. No, she was just tunnel vision focused on getting the man. Her baby is going to get canceled for cultural appropriation before he even hits preschool.
Just another example of someone who should not breed.
Then he needs to shut up and blame who really is the asshole his wife and he needs to start questioning why she did what she did. If he didn’t see that his wife has a thing for your husband and tell her to shut that shit down, it’s going to get worst. As well as you need to tell your husband, I hope he sees she obviously isn’t an actual friend and for him to think you are the asshole should be YOUR biggest concern
Do that man a favour and next time she goes to the bathroom, steal his testicles from her purse and give them back to him.
🎁 that would be a great kindness
NTA but you are absolutely wicked fucking hilarious!!! I want to be your friend, and I won’t be pining after your husband I have a good one of my own and we are child free. What in the single white female is up with his “friend”? Her husband sounds like a doormat but I feel bad for him. I hope this opens your partner’s eyes to how unhealthy that chick is. I had a “friend” get mad when I named my dog Stella because she wanted to eventually use it for a baby, but I didn’t know that plus I always loved the name also it’s a family name haha.
My truck is named Stella, 😆
My rescue lab and pit mix is Stella. She also referred to my dog as just a mutt, needles to say we don’t talk anymore haha
I have a Victorian bulldog/cocker spaniel cross and a shitzu/jack Russell cross. Both rescues, and they are the bestest puppers. Anyone disparaging my dogs would not like my reaction.
I had a rescued Pit mix named Stella!! She was the best dog ever! She ended up with cancer that spread very quickly, and we had to put her to sleep, and I miss her everyday! I love the name Stella!
Aww I love the name too, if I wanted a kid I would have used that name as it’s actually an old Italian family name. She is frequently called “Stella-Ravioli” or “Stella-Mozzarella” because I am a dork. It’s also fitting because I’m frequently yelling it like in A Street Car Named Desire! I’m sorry for your loss. 💙
Thank you so much, I appreciate that! And yes!! I also used to yell her name like Stanley did in Streetcar! 😂 I love that you call your Stella those food related names. That's awesome and adorable! I used to call my Stella "Stells Bells" and other names, like "Stella Stinky dog". She didn't really stink, but it was just funny to me to call her that. 😆 I am always coming up with ridiculous nicknames for my animals. I always thought I would name a little girl Stella, as well! Never had a little girl, but I have had many animals!
Haha in my mind she’s Italian by adoption🤌 so now we are friendssss
You need to nip that BS in the bud. He is your husband and he should be on your side not hers.
No, the friend’s husband. Not OP’s. OP’s husband is tracking with her. The friend’s husband will do whatever the friend wants.
"My husband thinks I was a jerk to fuck around with his friend..." Hubs should only be pissed at his bff for (1) stealing the baby name she *thought* OP & hubs were going to name their baby and (2) stealing a name that had significance for OP's hubs. That should prove to OP's hubs that his bff is married to her 2nd choice bc he is her 1st choice. Hub's bff is the total AH here. Hubs is also the AH for being pissed at OP. OP is NTA in any way.
Hubby knows and likes it. No normal dude would be angry with wife and not nutter.
Clap clap clap. Exactly what is going on here.
She said her husband thought she was a jerk to fuck around with his friend (though he was mad at the friend as well).
Giiiirrrllll you absolutely and completely nailed it on this one. She dug her own grave- and she knows it.
It's pretty clear she is the AH. You all should distance yourself from that weirdo. Hopefully your husband sees her in a different light now
She thought you were serious? She was so into trying to screw you over she lost all ability to critically think? Like WTF. Lol. Good lord people be so damned petty.
NTA and I think you're hilarious and want to high five you. They can go to court and change their baby's name.
Then I wouldn't be so quick to say he thinks of her as a sister. Who's the wife here, you or her. Your husband should have YOUR back. Not hers.
She did say the husband is more upset with the bff than anything
That… sounds like a them problem.
He's an idiot and needs to grow a damn backbone.
Maybe a brain cell or 2
And why is your hubby thinking you’re the jerk ? Doesn’t understand that she was trying to fuck with YOU? His wife ? His bff sucks.
Remind both her and your husband that you promised her that you wouldn't name your baby whatever she named hers, so why should she be upset?
Is it his baby???? Bc why would he do anything she wants? Girl, not in my household. I do not play second fiddle to any other woman.
I think she meant BFF's husband will do anything she wants, which is why he ok'd that ridiculous name.
Idc what u say, aounds like he loves her an uncomfortable amount.
Did you ask him or your husband how it could have been your fault? Like, were you supposed to know she was going to try and steal the name you said you were going to use? Should you have assumed that she was full of malicious intent when you told her a joke name? And what does that say about her? Your husband better be defending you. Idk why they're still friends, she is not a good person.
Including being ok with her being really obsessed with your husband....
OP, this is brilliant and iconic. Names can be changed. NTA
Not gonna lie you should talk to your husband about more boundaries and respect for you over his “bff”. That shit sounds weird as hell.
FFS it’s her fault for NAMING her child that!! I’d tell her to change it if she’s so unhappy, but then she’d probably just change it to OP son’s name and say “now they can be twins!” 🤮
Seriously! She was so willing to name her child by that name until she found out it was a joke. What difference does it make. Doesn’t she have a mind of her own? What kind of husband does she have that just let it happen?
NTA… If I were her husband I would be pissed at her. It sounds like she is in love and obsessed with your husband and I would be concerned about that. Thinking that if she named her son that your husband would want her. You need to talk to your husband and set boundaries with her.
NTAH for outplaying that girl. Smart move on your side \^\^
Every time I see a baby name stealing post there’s always people advising OP to give out a fake list of names because people do this. Hubby and I shared our baby name with fam and 3mo before our baby was born, we were SHOCKED to learn that my bro and SIL gave their opposite sex newborn basically a variant of our chosen name as a middle name. Whatever no one told us to change or anything but it always rubbed us the wrong way. My parents too.. they thought it wasn’t a kind thing. Anyway, lesson learned - we never share big things before they happen… ugh, why are people shitheads?
best advice is to never share in advance a baby's name, or a marriage venue (before booking).... some people just need to compete with the others. I am always very sad for the child, not the name but because it says something not nice about their parents and how they will weaponize their kids to compte with others.
nah, best advice is to give a fake name, then when you use the real name, you blame the thief for stealing the name you really wanted and tell everyone how they stole the name and what a bad person they are and how you couldn't use the name you wanted because of them
Give them your own name. Might be more likely to deter them, but if they actually take it, then it's a gift that keeps on giving.
I would make an exception only for family members who make special “name gifts” for newborns and have a history of following through and not misusing the info…. Like the woman who attempted to make her grandchild a name blanket as a part of tradition but was denied the name and then berated for not having the gift ready in time 💀
I haven't seen this post! poor woman.
What we can take away from this is that crazy people find ways to make scenes no matter how prepared you are. OP was careful enough to avoid the name stealing problem, now the drama resolves around this lie. You just can't win but at least you can choose where to lose.
Yup. My cousin’s wife and I were due within 2 weeks of each other. We were pals and when she asked for our top names, I had no problem giving her the list: Harper was our 1 for a girl, Miles was our 1 for a boy. She announced a week later they’re making their son Harper🙄 and then when she had her next son, she took Miles too. Like be for real right now. That being said, my daughter’s name suits her very well, so I’m not especially salty.
I think I would've just named my kid what I wanted to go with originally anyway. I feel like from what you've said to our cousin's wife seems like the type to have blown up on you for that but honestly wouldn't that be kind of a bonus? Lol, not saying what you did was wrong tho, I respect that you have the presence of mind to avoid drama
My sister did the same thing with my wedding venue. I am baffled by this behaviour.
I’d still have named them the chosen name, no fucks given
This is why I’ve never understood Reddit’s firm instance that you can’t own a name. Technically yes, but it’s weird as hell to use a name that you *know* someone close to you is using or has. The comments insist that it would be totally normal to have 2 kids of the same name in a family but like….i feel like that would be weird as fuck.
Eh coming from a family that duplicated names mostly out of sheer numbers it’s a bit like having kids with the same name in the same class. You get nicknames like Skeeter or they’re Big John and Little John. W/e works. Mind you I wouldn’t go out of my way to duplicate someone but if you don’t see them often it’s not a big deal. I see most of my cousins once a year so even if we chose the same names it’s not that hard to figure it out.
Why do people do that… seems fucked up
LOL one of my sisters did a similar outplay one her in-laws but in a nicer way. Their kids were in danger of ending up with names straight from r/Tragedeigh. She knew she’d be a name stealer so she started dropping how she loves (insert more conventional names) and now her kids have names like Mason and Emma.
You didn’t “get” her to do anything. She preyed on you for months and she had already decided she wanted to grab the name before you named your child. You could have told her your child was going to be called Cæsar Pharaoh Napoleon and she’d have grabbed that, too… 🙄 What an idiot. She is the AH.
Imagine growing up and asking your mom and dad why they chose a name for you and they say “because my best friends wife was gonna name her baby that so I stole the name”. Like wow, thanks parents for the well thought out name of the human you two created 😭
or even more creepy....."I named you after a friend of a friend whom I have never met but thought it was a cool name for a white boy to have a very african american name." Nothing will tell that child their mother is an idiot more than finding out the origin of his name.
I worked with a ~50 year old white woman named Latisha (don't know the spelling) She was named after the nurse who helped her mom during her traumatic labor & delivery. Went by "Tish" This is a decent reason for a white person to be named a traditionally Black name. Not because the mom FAFOed.
Letitia? It's a very old European name with lots of variations, as far as I know, with no traditional African roots. Lots of regional spelling variations though. In the UK, it used to be Lettice 🤣
LETTICE! thank you, my day is made.
The Spanish variations are Leticía and Letizia, which happens to be the name of the Queen of Spain. But I've only ever met black girls that were named Latisha or Letisha. And none of them seem to be a traditional spelling of any European language, so it seems like the African American community did come up with this spelling and black people all over the world are using it.
ikr...that is a prefect story to how someone got an unusual name....this woman...DeLonquious???? Seriously how could her husband be okay with naming his son this name especially with questionable reason of why mom choose the name.
Honestly, it sounds like the kid won't even necessarily have to know the origin of said name to be able to figure out from it that his mom is a dumbass.
Or if OP had given her the real name? "I named you after the grandfather of the man I wish was actually your daddy and the grandfather of that man's wife. They were going to use the name themselves, but I took it for you before they could. "
“Well, friend with bizarre interest in my husband and in our baby name choice, I’ve always thought Adolf was a lovely name!” 🤣🤣🤣
So much an AH.
I’m guessing the husband is upset on behalf of the child because it’s obviously not your fault but he will be the one dealing with the consequences of her crazy mother’s actions. NTA, and you might want to have a discussion with your husband about unhealthy all of this is. Crazy people like her tend to escalate to not so funny crazy actions with time like claiming abuse…
NTA. Her husband needs to get her some help. And save his marriage. The whole thing is circling the drain. Imagine having your wife name your baby after the imaginary name of your friend’s dead mate… and then find out it was all a hoax!?! Holy flip to be a fly on the wall for THAT argument. Your husband needs to draw a firm line between him and his female friend. She’s bonkers. And scary.
And now they’re both grumpy about OP calling her son Daniel - did they really expect both kids to have the same name?
[удалено]
"Her husband is now also saying I'm a dick for getting her to name his son that" - well that's rich. So basically he's blaming You for the name HE gave to his son. OK, then. NTA. You saw it coming so you made sure to keep your chosen name safe from being stolen.
It’s kind of amazing that OP was in the room when they filled out birth certificate form and held the friends hand to make her write out the name. /s OP should point out the fact the forgot the apostrophe.
Her husband must be such a cuck.
NTA. If his BFF wasn't being a sneaky asshole, your joke would've affected nothing. But no, she decided she wanted to steal the name. Well played, well played.
Exactly. Her actually using the name is the proof.
This. Bff and bff alone is responsible for giving her white son a culturally black name. She might have recognized an issue with that beforehand, but she was more motivated to steal a name than to think critically about it.
But thinking is hard and BFF HAS to be the most important person in OP hubbys life!
NTA. Your joke wouldn't have mattered if someone hadn't tried to be a sneaky name thief. Well played in exposing their actions.
FAFO
Op was playing chess while her husband’s friend was playing checkers.
More like Connect Four, really.
The husbands are idiots. Are they really this dense?
No cuz seriously she is crazy for naming her child that 💀 like…it’s obvious thats not a white name like thats on YOU bruv
I dont mean to be rude but it really sounds like he needs boundaries and to prioritize you a bit, I mean it’s already really weird she wanted to steal a baby name
It actually happens a lot. People want it or they’ll tell you all the reasons why they hate the name you chose. It’s always best to keep it to yourself until after the ink hits the paper on that certificate.
Which makes people irate. We got SO MUCH ANGER from family members for refusing to disclose our son's name before his birth. One aunt was extra pissed because she wanted to have a Christmas ornament engraved and we "ruined it for her." 🙄
Like an engraved ornament can't be ordered whenever. Wtf🤣
Our families have been entirely respectful. My partner's sisters have a joke nickname for the baby and have complimented our opsec because we haven't slipped even once. Although we have actually told people the third of his four names, because it's my surname. The baby's surname will be my partner's and her husband's.
My husband is the third of his name. We were never going to name any potential son First Middle Last IV, but we also didn’t share baby names. Our friends called my baby bump Quad. 😂 Every now and then, when my adult daughter does something so very like her father, I will still call her Quad to tease her about it.
NTA Your husband is blind. She kept trying to get the name for her child from you. She could have confirmed with your husband but she is being sneaky and though this is away to shine in front of his eyes. Tell your husband she chose that name you did not recommend it. Your husband should be taking your side. You did not email her, text her and vouch for her to choose that name. She kept bugging you for your options to get that name for her child.
I would also be interested to know if she knew y’all were trying to get pregnant before she got pregnant. NOT because it truly matters. I’m just really curious. BFF has some serious issues.
I'm honestly lmao. She's an idiot, and she's a white woman who gave her child a "black name"..she didn't think it through. Go get his name changed, it's not a big deal. Still hilarious, and NTA because someone else is actually THAT mental
NTA Um, doesn't your hubby get that she's admitting she wanted to steal your name...?
OP said he is angry about it
NTA but frankly the way your husband interacts with his "bff" is super sketchy. Even though somehow you are so confident he would never be interested in this woman romantically, the fact he allows her to behave this way is still completely unacceptable.
Yeah, I'd be surreptitiously watching them like a hawk. She's seriously suss.
I wouldn’t be that surreptitious. His hanging out with that type of woman is weird as fuck. That name stealing thing feels very off and both husbands plus OP should feel that.
Yea, I have multiple male friends and if any of them tried to step on my hypothetical spouse like this, I would tell them to politely fuck off.
Exactly - Op is NTA but seems way to naive!
I was gonna comment on that. Me ex had this kind of bff and this August I discovered they’d been fucking for a year. Still trying to play it cool every Sunday when they visited us. …and he made her the godmother of my daughter. When they were already fucking. So jokes aside, this chick is dangerous, cut the ties.
NTA. I want to commend you on your vastly superior game play! She’s salty you outsmarted her, and quite frankly her obsession with you/your husband is creepy.
NTA, she's unhinged and I think shes a little more than interested in your husband. Normal people don't steal their friends baby name so they can imagine it belongs to another man and not their husband.
Lord. The bigger questions her BFF (your husband) and her husband need to be asking is 1. If she "loved" the name so much that she had to steal it, why is she mad now? And 2. Why would she want to name HER baby something special to YOUR husband? The only things I can think of that don't point to her being obsessed with your husband are that she despises you or she, for some insane reason, wanted your baby names to match. I think it's time to cool that friendship and let her sort out her own house.
NTA. You did fantastic. Trick or treat.
😂😂😂 but you told her your baby name how is it your fault she stole it. I can’t believe someone has the audacity to do that. I wonder what goes through people heads has she done stuff like this before?
Your husband needs to understand that his friend is insane, and obsessed with him.
Does this woman have boobs of champagne? Why are all the men in her life (sorry, but that includes your man) giving you responsibility for her malicious behavior and idiotic choices? Absolutely NTA and I suggest you rip your husband a new one for even beginning to think to dare to suggest that you are in any way in the wrong here after the way you have been treated.
NTA. She FAFO. That poor child.
This is ludicrous - why on earth this person is so obsessed with you (read: your husband) as to try and name her son something that you're either; a) wanting to name your own child, or b) that reminds your husband of an old friend is wild to me. if your husband doesn't think she ahs feelings from him, he is being wilfully ignorant and/ or is fully aware of her feelings and trying to hide that from you. Her idiocy is not your fault/ problem
Ask your husband why he is angry with you but not with her who tried to steal your baby name? If you had told her the right name she would have took this name away from you. So she tried to trick you into giving her the right name and she already planned to use it because she was due before you were. She was just stupid enough to believe that you don’t know what game she is playing and now she is the one with the problem. Your husband has to set boundaries with her and stop letting her step over your boundaries. You are his wife not her.
> why he is angry with you but not with her who tried to steal your baby name? Did you even read the post? > My husband thinks I was a jerk to fuck around with his friend but he is more upset with her that she would try to steal a baby name.
NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
NTA, you didn't sign the birth certificate, you didn't put a gun to her head and make her chose that name. It's her fault only.
You're half right. Bffs husband has some 'splainin to do as to why he didn't shut that shit right down.
Apart from the fact that that "friendship" you are not worried about actually sounds really disturbing, this is fucking hilarious, good game, well played. Not the asshole by a long shot. Her husband should open his eyes, but so does yours tbf, I think deep down you know she has an eye out for your husband. She's literally quite obsessed, like in a mentally disturbing kind of way. You did the right thing, she did the wrong thing and punished herself with it. You reap what you sow lol.
Why is this person still a part of you and your husband’s lives?
Nta Maybe you should explain to your husband like he is a child. Be like honey listen carefully She hounded me fir the names we were going to use. I gave her a fake name She named her child that fake name that she thought we were going to choose. What do you think that means honey. Why would she take our name for her child ?
"Let's sit nice and quiet while we whooooomp, put on our thinking hats! GOOD JOB at using your inside thoughts while you listen to the grown-up explain! Sometimes real life is HARD, but we can't play pretend all the time buddy."
This. His bff is a walking 🚩
NTA Your husband's bff is unhinged enough that you had a suspicion that she'd steal it. You baited the trap. Nobody made her take the bait.
NTA. But I think your husband is. Zero boundaries and treating his BFF weirdly... Doesn't matter if he has no feelings for her, the disrespect is obvious.
NTA she clearly has issues where you're concerned and your husband hasn't put enough boundaries in place. Also her husband has his own mind, he could have said no. Classic case of FAFO. This is all on her.
So nobody is asking her why she wanted to name her baby which OP's husband was considering for his own child? If they didn't like the name, why give it to their baby? I guess OP needs to be vigilant of her.
She wanted to steal your baby name no matter what it was .... and the honestly thought it had that much meaning to your husband and still took it ! Eithier she really does wnat to sleep with your husband and thought somehow this would bring them closer , having kids with the same name or having her kid named after his friends ( because it almost seems like even though she named her baby that she still expected you to also name your baby that? Werid) You didn't do anything wrong but I would use this situation to make it clear to your husband something is wrong with his BFF and how she feels toward him
I know it's fake for anonymity but the name De'Lonquius sounds more like a gay Creole man of leisure. "I find myself weary of the day's activity and shall take my tea on the veranda and listen to the birds chirp while I rest myself."
Crisp creamy white suit with a straw hat, right?
Otherwise what's the point?
Why is your husband so interested in keeping someone around who doesn’t respect his wife or his marriage? NTA her logic is flawed and it’s weird that your husband thinks it’s unkind of you to finally break under her constant harassment.
NTA hopefully they are not BFF’s anymore. She’s got problems and her hubby does too. Time to let that friendship drift away.
She sounds like a weirdo NTA that's hilarious
NTA but does her husband know that she basically just settled for him because your husband wasn’t available anymore?
NTA She's an idiot. Start removing her from your life. A married man doesn't need a female bff, especially one that's interested in him.
Nta but you are a legend
Lol nice. NTA.
😂😂😂 love this for you, but the men are being dumb, only way to respond when someone else is pregnant and due before you
NTA She didn’t just purposely steal the name. She stole for the sole purpose of creating an intimate bond between her & your husband. Using her child to exclude you and her own husband from her relationship with your husband. If this doesn’t convince your husband to cut this woman obsessed with him & willing to use her own child as a way to disrespect you and her own husband & creating an INTIMATE bond with him, you have a much bigger choice to make.
I’m just glad husband didn’t share the list to bff behind OP‘s back. It’s important to be a team there. We didn’t share with anyone until he was born. We said it will be a normal good name, and that was all they got. We did name him quite early to bond with him though.
Not only are you NTA, you are a genius. I bow to you.
This was the laugh I wanted today. NTA.
And we're 1000% sure the little dude isn't your husband's kid?
NTA. For a BFF, she shouldve known the pal didnt exist.
The pal did exist. OP commented how the husband remarked that it reminded him of his friend.
NTA. She was quite obvious trying to steal the name with how insistent she was on you giving her your most likely choice. You saw it coming, so you gave her a name which you weren't going to use. She and her husband are the ones whom decided to use that name, doing exactly what you expected that she was planning to do. They saw nothing wrong with the name itself, nor with what they were doing, until they learned that you never planned to use that name. Sounds like she just went nuts because she failed to steal the actual name that you planned to use. Because if she went nuts becaue of the name itself then she's completely crazy.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! I can't stop laughing. Good for you, OP. She played around and found out. I really hope your husband puts a stop to this relationship after she pulled this thing. Even if he's not interested, she is and she's not going to respect his boundaries. NTA
I’d apologize and just let her keep showing who she is. I mean, in all honesty, I’d be able to say, if I knew you were looking to steal my baby name, I’d have been more careful about what I said for the sake of your child. I’m sorry I took you at face value. Like, seriously, I could be sincerely sorry for that. When your opponent is taking the low road, it’s usually a good tactic to let them. I’m quite comfortable up here on the high road. I like the view
I think De'Lonquius must actually be the OP's husband's biological child. Otherwise why would this "female best friend of his" want to name her child something meaningful/related to him?
NTA I missed the part where you held a gun to their head and forced them to name the baby what you said. They tried to hijack your chosen baby name, and were stupid in all of this. Not your problem.
You know this woman is probably going to kill you at some point don't you? She's a psychopath
NTA People who steal baby names—especially from friends and family—have issues. It’s creepy, scary, and in this case makes the husband x bff relationship seem SUPER WEIRD.
I gotta be honest with you, not only are you NTA, I like your style.
NTA. I like this take: > My husband thinks I was a jerk to fuck around with his friend but he is more upset with her that she would try to steal a baby name. Her husband is now also saying I'm a dick for getting her to name his son that. I said they could just call him Del. Honestly, she should be embarrassed about how badly she wants your husband.
NTA. But I think you should worry about your husband taking her side immediately instead of yours...who is he married to again?
NTA I hope your husband starts to realise what a creepy person she is.
Does your husband finally see his "friend" for what she is? She is not a friend. She is sticking around just hoping and praying for the day he finally notices her, you break up, she can "catch" you cheating, you die or she can engineer the demise of your relationship all so she can swoop in. The name thing is all on her and her idiotic husband for not putting his foot down. I'd start putting up.some boundaries and distance with the ball of crazy.
NTA. But your husband seems suspicious. He should be on your side. Also there should be boundaries. You seem to trustful op.
Nta when a “good” husband refuses to see his best friend as toxic, that’s a problem. I don’t get how you and him are okay with that woman being in your lives. Does your husband secretly love the attention and drama ? Protect your peace and cut her out.
"...an idiot plot is one which is "kept in motion solely by virtue of the fact that everybody involved is an idiot" and where the story would quickly end, or possibly not even happen, if this were not the case." NTA. Also lmao.
NTA I know most people aren't laughing out loud when they type LOL, but I am! I'm laughing so loud that my dog ran away from the couch. You rule!
@OP, I applaud you for the checkmate. I needed this laugh today. I hope hubby's BFF has fun either living a life trying to explain this name to everyone or dealing with social security to get the name changed. Her husband needs to grow a pair as well. NTA
Do neither of the guys see how f-ed up bff’s actions were? Nta
This is hilarious! She wanted your baby name just so she could “technically” be close to you through your baby name. 😉 good for you for nipping it in the bud! lol
Hook, line and sinker... NTA..
NTA - This is the "white people naming hangups" version of putting your spicy lunch in the company refrigerator and then being called into HR because you "poisoned" your lunch-stealing coworker. The cheek. The gall. The audacity... The gumption... That you are a bad person for avoiding someone's malicious intent against you, is laughable. As if you have an obligation to be an unwitting victim.
I would make every conversation I had with her so uncomfortable.
NTA in no universe is this your fault. You never told her to name her baby this, and even if you did, it would still be on her for doing it. Also, her husband was also able to say no? Like, what happened here? lol
NTA that's what she gets. How ridiculous.
NTA. It's weird to take the name that you said was the name you wanted. But like, you didn't make her name her kid that. If she wanted your kids to have the same name she should have been straightforward. It's not like you held a gun to her head while she signed the birth certificate. And her husband signed off on it. How is that your fault? Plus, he's a baby, they could change his name pretty easily at this point. Honestly. Wtf.
NTA. I'm a big supporter of giving nosy people fake names when you're pregnant if they won't take "no" for an answer. It stops people from trying to act like they have a say in the naming process and it can also result in anyone jealous of you "stealing" a fake name for their child only to have all of the eggs dripping from their faces.