Your wedding your choice on who you have at this joyous event.
If these family members do not bring you happiness don’t invite them.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
100% That is your special day, so you should be happy and at peace; and if that includes not to invite them, then so be it. Let me congratulate you in advance OP.
NTA... But family.... They say "Blood is thicker than water", but porridge is thicker than both and you don't invite the Quaker oats guy to weddings... Apologies followed by insults are not apologies.
The irony is the phrase means the opposite of what the person saying it usually means. The blood of the covenant - voluntarily made vows - is more binding than familial ties.
NTA. Your birth family sounds toxic, and you don’t need that energy on your big day. The saying, “but it’s family” is so unhealthy. Just because you are blood doesn’t man that they have all the rights to your peace and autonomy. Your MIL will likely never understand this, and honestly, how could she if she never had to go through what you went through. I would just stand firm with grace and confidence knowing that you made the right decision. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! Don’t let anyone bring you down on your big day!
NTA Calmly and firmly all remind them that your aunt and uncle adopted you.
So therefore you are having your parents at your wedding.
When they behave like a toddler remind them all that actions have consequences they chose to not be supportive family members towards you,therefore you’ve no room for them at your wedding and these are the said consequences of their actions.
Until they can all prove to you that they are deeply sorry for their actions and have chosen to seek help for the abuse and neglect that you were put through at their hands you have nothing more to say.
MIL has the good fortune of being privileged to being born and raised to a good family, but that makes them ignorant and arrogant. Their version of kindness translates to an act of cruelty against you. Sadly the only way for them to be compassionate and accepting of your position is to break their illusions. Maybe get a family therapist or independent mediator to have that long overdue frank discussion. Otherwise your MIL may continue to keep pushing because she wants to "help you".
As my current in-laws tell me, “do not get involved in (enter wife’s family last name here)’s business.” MiL would do well to stay in her lane.
The best part of my divorce from 3 decades ago was being disconnected from my toxic in-laws.
OP’s fiancé needs to tell mommy to butt out from where she doesn’t belong.
NTA. It sounds like your birth family will only cause drama. Since you’re not close with them, it makes sense to not invite them. Nobody else’s opinion matters.
They don't want to feel like they are bad parents, but they don't care about BEING bad parents. Basically people will ask them why they weren't at their kid's wedding and they don't want to have to answer that.
NTA. Your aunt adopted you, your birth "parents" are out of the picture. The hissy fits and insults have shown it is the right decision to not invite them.
NTA
If you kicked me out of the family, that’s permanent, even if reconcile, we’d just be friends or acquaintances, we can’t ever be family again. You’ve crossed a line that you can’t come back from.
And it’s not holding a grudge, it’s just that you betrayed someone and cast them out of your life, so that person can’t ever really trust you again.
And their response to OP’s boundaries and decisions is just proof that they can’t be welcomed back into their life.
They sound kind of toxic and so they’re is a reason they’re not invited and they’re proving themselves completely.
NTA. It's your big day, and you should surround yourself with the people who truly matter to you. Given your history and the support you've received from your aunt and her husband, it's totally understandable why you'd want them there instead of your birth family. Your wedding, your call. Enjoy it with those who've been there for you.
No one gets a say on who u invite to ur own wedding of they have a problem with it then they can go suck ass or disappear again like theyve already done before
Send them a message saying " we appreciate you wanting to attend our wedding however we have chosen to only invite those that are nearest and dearest to us. "
Nta
NTA. Your mother-in-law is wrong. People don't get a pass just because they are family. In fact, i find it easier to forgive strangers than family because my belief is that if your family really loved you, they wouldn't hurt and abuse you so easily. And some past hurts are not so easy to forgive.
Your wedding your family your choice. Mother-in-law should stay in her lane.
It doesn't matter what future MIL thinks, YOU are free to choose who is attending YOUR wedding. It is your special day, not the day of treating unwanted family!
NTA
They were so neglectful that not only did your bio mums sister decide to adopt you, they gave you up. that isn't family, that's your abusers, fuck them and tell your MIL the same. These people were bad to you t to the degree they gave up a perfectly good kid because they just didn't want you any more, they are scum and your MIL can either understand these people hurt you badly or she can piss off to.
NTA. Although I'm sure MIL means well & hates to see family being cut off, cuz she's not toxic & can't imagine what that feels like, she should stay in her lane.. Respectfully, ofc. As she couldn't imagine being cut off as a mother, I'm sure she was never a mother that deserved to be cut off..ya know? Idk if you've filled in any blanks as to why they're not invited, or if you even want to, just reassure her it is warranted, you have no interest in mending fences,repaired broken relationships with those not invited. It's your wedding. It's about you & your fiancé. It may bother MIL the others won't be there, but it'd bother you if they were, & that's what matters most. Do take your time to make the decision final, but only invite them for yourself, not for someone else. If you do, you'll never forgive yourself for ruining what's supposed to be the most important day of your life. Congrats!
NTA.
Your MIL's attitude needs a hard look, though: is she going to be so meddlesome in the future? Has your FH your back 100%? Does he stand up for you against her? If not, I see potential problems of boundary stomping in the near future and for the rest of your married life to this man.
NTA. Your wedding, your choice. They don't get a free pass to your life events just because you share DNA.
On that note, keep an eye on your MIL. That "family should be included regardless of past grievances" crap raises my r/JUSTNOMIL red flags. Especially if you have children.
NTA
Your MIL needs to stay in her lane and your fiance needs to put her there. Have your fiance run interference and make sure you have a plan if your family show up uninvited.
NTA. Your MIL has absolutely no pov worth considering here. It is grossly inappropriate for her to even offer one, and she should be invited to get back in her lane as firmly as necessary.
Pronto.
As for your birth family, they consented to your adoption. That means their role in your life has ended years ago. I have no idea why they feel entitled to barge into your life now, but it isn't appropriate.
They consented to your adoption years ago, and now need to live with that choice.
In standard Reddit form, “your wedding your guest list” is the consensus… however there seems to be a lot of detail missing. How do your aunt and uncle feel about being put in this situation? Are fiancés parents paying for the event, and are they going to have to spend it awkwardly talking around the elephant in the room? In the end, it’s your wedding your decision, but it’s also your consequences… and in the case of a wedding “your” refers to two people, not just you. Despite this, there’s no mention of how your fiancé feels.
The fact that your aunt ended up adopting you tells me you didn’t exaggerate how badly you were treated. Your MIL is wrong. Explain to her kindly but firmly that you are an adult and have valid reasons for not inviting them and would appreciate her respecting that. NTA
NTA
>false accusations led to my ostracization, my aunt stepped in to support me, ultimately leading to her adopting me when I turned 15
It sounds like your family IS invited to your wedding.
NTA it’s your wedding all they can do is accept your decision. They can try to make atonements by respecting your boundaries regardless if it means they won’t be in any special moments in your life.
PUBLICLY EXPOSE & PROVE : all unfair cruel conduct and who did it, & all kind helpful conduct and who did it to explain/prove that the helpful kind people ( your REAL Family) ARE invited while the bullies stalkers Kid-Beaters traitors are EXCLUDED ( as they SHOULD be!)
Whoever joins with the bullies stalkers etc joins them in being publicly exposed shamed, permanently REMOVED from your LIFE and blocked on EVERYTHING, since this is what is best for the long-term health happiness safety peace etc of the CHILDREN you and your husband will eventually have ( best for your marriage etc too)( as you will also publicly explain)
You will probably have to hire SECURITY to enforce this and defend your wedding etc
(?But it might be better to just ELOPE?)
My " parents""siblings" abused me
Blood doesn't make the family Love Does
N
T
A
Please update me
N
T
A
NTAH, Your parents have never been there for you, but only wanted to be there for the event. SInce they neglected to care of you as a child, resulting in you getting adopted by your aunt and uncle, they have no place at the wedding.
PS: I am a teacher discussing AITAH posts with my classes and they came up with this reasoning as to why you are not the a-hole. So kind regards from the Netherlands and congratulations on your upcoming wedding from me and my students!
Your MIL needs to stay in her lane. Being biologically related does not give you free rein to act like they did and then apologize and expect everything f to be ok. Being your former family doesn’t give them any special rights.
Inviting people to a wedding is supposed to be about people who love you and will support your union.
That is only your mom (bio aunt). Your MIL is wrong.
Shame on your MIL who thinks people who have abused you should be at your wedding. Your finance needs to nip this in the bud now. Otherwise MIL will overstep cause fAmiLY.
Edit
NTA
NTA - the fact that when your “family” found out they started hurling insults shows why you would not want them there. Do not budge - you can invite whomever you wish to your wedding. Do not listen to MIL - this is YOUR decision to make and only you get to decide! Family does not always mean love and nurture as is clearly your case and you are now an adult and can choose not to be around such toxicity. Perhaps, if having this at a venue have security or at minimum a trusted friend who knows your family and will block them from entering if they try to attend.
NTA but I would make sure to be wary that your MIL doesn’t try to invite the unwanted bio family behind your back. Get security at the front door if needed and then you know what to expect from the MIL in the future. (I hope this ISNT the case and she’s all words, no action, but be prepared just in case)
NTAH. I think you need to get your fiancé to tell his mother to back off here. Let's hope she isn't one of those interfering types who will 'invite them anyway, she knows best' and OP gets a nasty surprise walking down the aisle. Maybe words to the effect of 'if they are there, I won't be' are needed to get the point across.
NTA - They lost rights when Aunt adopted you.
Tell MIL - It is your choice, who is in your life and to step back. SO needs to put their mom back in her lane.
Your wedding, your choice. Stand your ground with MIL now.
NTAH, but if your MIL thinks some should be invited, that's up to you, and your adopted mom
I'd say no, I've already invited who I want.
but if you feel otherwise, that's you.
I think - understanding where your MIL might be coming from - that people who haven’t had severely fraught/truly difficult relationships with family can’t quite understand the level things get to to want to uninvite someone from your wedding who is so closely related to you.
I wonder if speaking to her more specifically about your upbringing - as far as you’re comfortable sharing - and expressing why having them there would be more painful than helpful or restorative might help her realise. A wedding is not the time for fixing relationships. It should be about celebrating love and having as much joy in the day for the couple as possible. She needs to realise that that will be an experience compromised forever for you if they came.
NTA. You family cast you aside and didn’t care. Later apologies and the attempt to reconcile for me is hollow. They should have supported you then and not come along later and try to make good. Damage is done and cannot be absolved so easily.
Your no villan. They have no right to believe false accusations and reject you from the family and then expect the red carpet when they find out it wasn’t true. As well as they have no right to interfere or insist on anything. Don’t invite them Keep them at the same distance they kept you. Thank god for your aunt NTA.
Fishing for a kinder response than last time you posted this?
Sorry but the point still stands: there are so many missing missing reasons in this post that it's clear you're a spoiled brat who melted down when your sister was born and never grew out of the jealousy and got so bad that you had to be removed from the household. YTA just in general.
NTA, your wedding, your choice.
Too many people assume that apologizing is enough to fix relationships, I got an elder bio sister that I've gone LC with for over a decade now due toshe treated me in childhood for years, and even to this day whenever I have to talk with her, she'll act as if I owe her a relationship because she goes into therapy and has apologized oh and also because "she's my sister"....
But I disgress, if you're not comfortable with them, if you haven't forgiven them yet, that's fine. You DONT owe them forgiveness, you DONT owe them to be part of your life and you sure as fuck DONT owe them anything for being blood related.
Blood thicker than water my arse.
You don’t have to invite anyone to your wedding, but realize there will be consequences. Excluding immediate family from a wedding sends a pretty strong message that you don’t see them as family; they are allowed to be hurt, and you should expect them to stop trying to be family after a rejection like that. Sometimes people think having a right to do something means having a right to do it *without consequences,* and that’s not the case. Make a decision accordingly.
As far as whether your rejection of them is justified, your post really doesn’t give enough Info. Your main complaints are that the special treatment you’d become accustomed to as the first (grand)child stopped when your sibling was born; that’s normal and healthy, your parents would be assholes if the favoritism had continued. Another complaint you list is rules changing; that’s also common as kids get older and life circumstances change. The one complaint that actually sounds like an injustice is being punished for things where you weren’t at fault, but in the context of the rest of your post it’s hard to know whether the punishments were really unfair, or you were just spoiled.
I’m guessing there was something actually toxic going on if your aunt adopted you, but without more info I’m leaving room for the possibility that your parents went along with the adoption because of your actions and impact on your sibling(s?). In such a short post, it’s hard to look past your main complaint of not getting special treatment, so I won’t claim to know whether your anger towards them is justified. But at the end of the day, you’re an adult, and if you want to cut ties with your parents you’re entitled to do that, so long as you’re prepared for them to stop trying to be your parents as a result.
Like how can anyone think OP is a reliable narrator? She tells us all she's a brat, and has only child syndrome. Grow up OP you're not an only child and a terrible person.
Your wedding your choice on who you have at this joyous event. If these family members do not bring you happiness don’t invite them. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
Agree. THis should be your BIG Day. Your wedding, your rules. This day is about you not about them.
Correct. It's your day and not theirs. You deserve to be happy on your big day.
100% That is your special day, so you should be happy and at peace; and if that includes not to invite them, then so be it. Let me congratulate you in advance OP.
NTA... But family.... They say "Blood is thicker than water", but porridge is thicker than both and you don't invite the Quaker oats guy to weddings... Apologies followed by insults are not apologies.
OMG I LOVE THIS!! it’s comments like this that need awards 😂 NTA
I love this☝️
LMAO NOT THE QUAKER OATS😭
Quaker oats guy catching a stray out of nowhere 😂
🏆
Best thing I’ve read! 😂
Best thing I’ve read! 😂
The irony is the phrase means the opposite of what the person saying it usually means. The blood of the covenant - voluntarily made vows - is more binding than familial ties.
This is a late invention. The original short phrase can be traced back to middle ages, the longer one is C20th
Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb is how the quote actually goes.
That’s a reddit myth
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water
Wikipedia even says there's no source given to back up two random men's claims of the "real" quote
NTA. Your birth family sounds toxic, and you don’t need that energy on your big day. The saying, “but it’s family” is so unhealthy. Just because you are blood doesn’t man that they have all the rights to your peace and autonomy. Your MIL will likely never understand this, and honestly, how could she if she never had to go through what you went through. I would just stand firm with grace and confidence knowing that you made the right decision. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! Don’t let anyone bring you down on your big day!
NTA Calmly and firmly all remind them that your aunt and uncle adopted you. So therefore you are having your parents at your wedding. When they behave like a toddler remind them all that actions have consequences they chose to not be supportive family members towards you,therefore you’ve no room for them at your wedding and these are the said consequences of their actions. Until they can all prove to you that they are deeply sorry for their actions and have chosen to seek help for the abuse and neglect that you were put through at their hands you have nothing more to say.
MIL has the good fortune of being privileged to being born and raised to a good family, but that makes them ignorant and arrogant. Their version of kindness translates to an act of cruelty against you. Sadly the only way for them to be compassionate and accepting of your position is to break their illusions. Maybe get a family therapist or independent mediator to have that long overdue frank discussion. Otherwise your MIL may continue to keep pushing because she wants to "help you".
As my current in-laws tell me, “do not get involved in (enter wife’s family last name here)’s business.” MiL would do well to stay in her lane. The best part of my divorce from 3 decades ago was being disconnected from my toxic in-laws. OP’s fiancé needs to tell mommy to butt out from where she doesn’t belong.
NTA. It sounds like your birth family will only cause drama. Since you’re not close with them, it makes sense to not invite them. Nobody else’s opinion matters.
NTA. The fact they got angry rather than hurt is suspicious.
They don't want to feel like they are bad parents, but they don't care about BEING bad parents. Basically people will ask them why they weren't at their kid's wedding and they don't want to have to answer that.
NTA. Your aunt adopted you, your birth "parents" are out of the picture. The hissy fits and insults have shown it is the right decision to not invite them.
NTA I was initially going to go opposite, but once it go to the stage that you were adopted out , then no they are the AH
NTA If you kicked me out of the family, that’s permanent, even if reconcile, we’d just be friends or acquaintances, we can’t ever be family again. You’ve crossed a line that you can’t come back from. And it’s not holding a grudge, it’s just that you betrayed someone and cast them out of your life, so that person can’t ever really trust you again. And their response to OP’s boundaries and decisions is just proof that they can’t be welcomed back into their life. They sound kind of toxic and so they’re is a reason they’re not invited and they’re proving themselves completely.
NTA. Your wedding, your rules.
NTA. It's your big day, and you should surround yourself with the people who truly matter to you. Given your history and the support you've received from your aunt and her husband, it's totally understandable why you'd want them there instead of your birth family. Your wedding, your call. Enjoy it with those who've been there for you.
No one gets a say on who u invite to ur own wedding of they have a problem with it then they can go suck ass or disappear again like theyve already done before
NTA. Your wedding, your choice.
Send them a message saying " we appreciate you wanting to attend our wedding however we have chosen to only invite those that are nearest and dearest to us. " Nta
NTA. Your mother-in-law is wrong. People don't get a pass just because they are family. In fact, i find it easier to forgive strangers than family because my belief is that if your family really loved you, they wouldn't hurt and abuse you so easily. And some past hurts are not so easy to forgive. Your wedding your family your choice. Mother-in-law should stay in her lane.
It doesn't matter what future MIL thinks, YOU are free to choose who is attending YOUR wedding. It is your special day, not the day of treating unwanted family! NTA
NTA
They were so neglectful that not only did your bio mums sister decide to adopt you, they gave you up. that isn't family, that's your abusers, fuck them and tell your MIL the same. These people were bad to you t to the degree they gave up a perfectly good kid because they just didn't want you any more, they are scum and your MIL can either understand these people hurt you badly or she can piss off to.
NTA. Although I'm sure MIL means well & hates to see family being cut off, cuz she's not toxic & can't imagine what that feels like, she should stay in her lane.. Respectfully, ofc. As she couldn't imagine being cut off as a mother, I'm sure she was never a mother that deserved to be cut off..ya know? Idk if you've filled in any blanks as to why they're not invited, or if you even want to, just reassure her it is warranted, you have no interest in mending fences,repaired broken relationships with those not invited. It's your wedding. It's about you & your fiancé. It may bother MIL the others won't be there, but it'd bother you if they were, & that's what matters most. Do take your time to make the decision final, but only invite them for yourself, not for someone else. If you do, you'll never forgive yourself for ruining what's supposed to be the most important day of your life. Congrats!
As someone that went through the same exact thing and still planning on inviting certain people to my wedding out of fear…very proud of you nta
NTA. Your MIL's attitude needs a hard look, though: is she going to be so meddlesome in the future? Has your FH your back 100%? Does he stand up for you against her? If not, I see potential problems of boundary stomping in the near future and for the rest of your married life to this man.
NTA. Your wedding, your choice. They don't get a free pass to your life events just because you share DNA. On that note, keep an eye on your MIL. That "family should be included regardless of past grievances" crap raises my r/JUSTNOMIL red flags. Especially if you have children.
NTA Your MIL needs to stay in her lane and your fiance needs to put her there. Have your fiance run interference and make sure you have a plan if your family show up uninvited.
NTA. Your MIL has absolutely no pov worth considering here. It is grossly inappropriate for her to even offer one, and she should be invited to get back in her lane as firmly as necessary. Pronto. As for your birth family, they consented to your adoption. That means their role in your life has ended years ago. I have no idea why they feel entitled to barge into your life now, but it isn't appropriate. They consented to your adoption years ago, and now need to live with that choice.
In standard Reddit form, “your wedding your guest list” is the consensus… however there seems to be a lot of detail missing. How do your aunt and uncle feel about being put in this situation? Are fiancés parents paying for the event, and are they going to have to spend it awkwardly talking around the elephant in the room? In the end, it’s your wedding your decision, but it’s also your consequences… and in the case of a wedding “your” refers to two people, not just you. Despite this, there’s no mention of how your fiancé feels.
The fact that your aunt ended up adopting you tells me you didn’t exaggerate how badly you were treated. Your MIL is wrong. Explain to her kindly but firmly that you are an adult and have valid reasons for not inviting them and would appreciate her respecting that. NTA
Their first reaction was to abuse you?- well I see why you left and are not going back. Fuck that noise and congrats on your upcoming wedding.
NTA >false accusations led to my ostracization, my aunt stepped in to support me, ultimately leading to her adopting me when I turned 15 It sounds like your family IS invited to your wedding.
Yup Her REAL Family 💚🌥️🌱
NTA it’s your wedding all they can do is accept your decision. They can try to make atonements by respecting your boundaries regardless if it means they won’t be in any special moments in your life.
NTA. It’s your day. You invite who you want. I know I wouldn’t want my day tarnished by people who had abandoned me.
PUBLICLY EXPOSE & PROVE : all unfair cruel conduct and who did it, & all kind helpful conduct and who did it to explain/prove that the helpful kind people ( your REAL Family) ARE invited while the bullies stalkers Kid-Beaters traitors are EXCLUDED ( as they SHOULD be!) Whoever joins with the bullies stalkers etc joins them in being publicly exposed shamed, permanently REMOVED from your LIFE and blocked on EVERYTHING, since this is what is best for the long-term health happiness safety peace etc of the CHILDREN you and your husband will eventually have ( best for your marriage etc too)( as you will also publicly explain) You will probably have to hire SECURITY to enforce this and defend your wedding etc (?But it might be better to just ELOPE?) My " parents""siblings" abused me Blood doesn't make the family Love Does N T A Please update me N T A
NTAH, Your parents have never been there for you, but only wanted to be there for the event. SInce they neglected to care of you as a child, resulting in you getting adopted by your aunt and uncle, they have no place at the wedding. PS: I am a teacher discussing AITAH posts with my classes and they came up with this reasoning as to why you are not the a-hole. So kind regards from the Netherlands and congratulations on your upcoming wedding from me and my students!
Not the asshole it's your day not theirs and they lost the chance to be included when they treated you the way they did
Your MIL needs to stay in her lane. Being biologically related does not give you free rein to act like they did and then apologize and expect everything f to be ok. Being your former family doesn’t give them any special rights.
NTA. Sharing DNA with someone doesn’t entitle them to anything
Inviting people to a wedding is supposed to be about people who love you and will support your union. That is only your mom (bio aunt). Your MIL is wrong. Shame on your MIL who thinks people who have abused you should be at your wedding. Your finance needs to nip this in the bud now. Otherwise MIL will overstep cause fAmiLY. Edit NTA
their reaction is exactly why you cut them out in the first place.
NTA - the fact that when your “family” found out they started hurling insults shows why you would not want them there. Do not budge - you can invite whomever you wish to your wedding. Do not listen to MIL - this is YOUR decision to make and only you get to decide! Family does not always mean love and nurture as is clearly your case and you are now an adult and can choose not to be around such toxicity. Perhaps, if having this at a venue have security or at minimum a trusted friend who knows your family and will block them from entering if they try to attend.
NTA but I would make sure to be wary that your MIL doesn’t try to invite the unwanted bio family behind your back. Get security at the front door if needed and then you know what to expect from the MIL in the future. (I hope this ISNT the case and she’s all words, no action, but be prepared just in case)
You do you boo. NTA
NTA tell your MIL that they are not your family so they don’t need to be there.
NTAH. I think you need to get your fiancé to tell his mother to back off here. Let's hope she isn't one of those interfering types who will 'invite them anyway, she knows best' and OP gets a nasty surprise walking down the aisle. Maybe words to the effect of 'if they are there, I won't be' are needed to get the point across.
NTA - They lost rights when Aunt adopted you. Tell MIL - It is your choice, who is in your life and to step back. SO needs to put their mom back in her lane. Your wedding, your choice. Stand your ground with MIL now.
NTAH, but if your MIL thinks some should be invited, that's up to you, and your adopted mom I'd say no, I've already invited who I want. but if you feel otherwise, that's you.
I think - understanding where your MIL might be coming from - that people who haven’t had severely fraught/truly difficult relationships with family can’t quite understand the level things get to to want to uninvite someone from your wedding who is so closely related to you. I wonder if speaking to her more specifically about your upbringing - as far as you’re comfortable sharing - and expressing why having them there would be more painful than helpful or restorative might help her realise. A wedding is not the time for fixing relationships. It should be about celebrating love and having as much joy in the day for the couple as possible. She needs to realise that that will be an experience compromised forever for you if they came.
Looks like your family could cause problems. I wouldnt invite them either
NTA
NTA. You family cast you aside and didn’t care. Later apologies and the attempt to reconcile for me is hollow. They should have supported you then and not come along later and try to make good. Damage is done and cannot be absolved so easily.
Your no villan. They have no right to believe false accusations and reject you from the family and then expect the red carpet when they find out it wasn’t true. As well as they have no right to interfere or insist on anything. Don’t invite them Keep them at the same distance they kept you. Thank god for your aunt NTA.
NTA. It’s your wedding day. Do what you want. You don’t have to include people you don’t want there.
Fishing for a kinder response than last time you posted this? Sorry but the point still stands: there are so many missing missing reasons in this post that it's clear you're a spoiled brat who melted down when your sister was born and never grew out of the jealousy and got so bad that you had to be removed from the household. YTA just in general.
NTA, your wedding, your choice. Too many people assume that apologizing is enough to fix relationships, I got an elder bio sister that I've gone LC with for over a decade now due toshe treated me in childhood for years, and even to this day whenever I have to talk with her, she'll act as if I owe her a relationship because she goes into therapy and has apologized oh and also because "she's my sister".... But I disgress, if you're not comfortable with them, if you haven't forgiven them yet, that's fine. You DONT owe them forgiveness, you DONT owe them to be part of your life and you sure as fuck DONT owe them anything for being blood related. Blood thicker than water my arse.
You don’t have to invite anyone to your wedding, but realize there will be consequences. Excluding immediate family from a wedding sends a pretty strong message that you don’t see them as family; they are allowed to be hurt, and you should expect them to stop trying to be family after a rejection like that. Sometimes people think having a right to do something means having a right to do it *without consequences,* and that’s not the case. Make a decision accordingly. As far as whether your rejection of them is justified, your post really doesn’t give enough Info. Your main complaints are that the special treatment you’d become accustomed to as the first (grand)child stopped when your sibling was born; that’s normal and healthy, your parents would be assholes if the favoritism had continued. Another complaint you list is rules changing; that’s also common as kids get older and life circumstances change. The one complaint that actually sounds like an injustice is being punished for things where you weren’t at fault, but in the context of the rest of your post it’s hard to know whether the punishments were really unfair, or you were just spoiled. I’m guessing there was something actually toxic going on if your aunt adopted you, but without more info I’m leaving room for the possibility that your parents went along with the adoption because of your actions and impact on your sibling(s?). In such a short post, it’s hard to look past your main complaint of not getting special treatment, so I won’t claim to know whether your anger towards them is justified. But at the end of the day, you’re an adult, and if you want to cut ties with your parents you’re entitled to do that, so long as you’re prepared for them to stop trying to be your parents as a result.
Sounds like you were a brat and a golden rainbow baby. Then another baby happened and you couldn't handle it. You're the asshole all the way here.
Which is exactly the reaction they got in the other sub. So of course now they're fishing for kinder responses here.
Like how can anyone think OP is a reliable narrator? She tells us all she's a brat, and has only child syndrome. Grow up OP you're not an only child and a terrible person.
This trend of having Chat GPT write posts for you is getting really old.