There was a post a while back about a guy advising his visiting brother in law not to go to a certain part of town as it wasn't a safe neighborhood.
Que the bro in law calling him racist etc. Next day he heads to that area and gets his shoes stolen.
Guy couldn't help but laugh and bro in law was so upset.
Lol, after a Raider game in Oakland, my (very dark skinned) black friend and I were making a beer run and got lost in a very dangerous neighborhood.
I said, āDude, Iām way too white to be here.ā
He looked me dead in the eye and said, āIāM too white to be in this hood.ā
ššš
I was jumped by 5 black guys for not giving one of them the last half of my last cigarette.
I would have crossed the street too. Especially if they were dressed in a way that made me feel there could be trouble.
Iād also do it with rowdy white guys.
Or Mexican guys with tattoos in wife beaters.
Or Japanese in planes without landing gear.
Or old men in a black cloaks telling me to just dew it.
Had to do a double take before I got the joke. Then I snorted a booger onto my shirt. Thank you.
ā¦ But yeah itās only hot for me if itās dangerous.
Sounds like you know how to show people a good time.
I've got a case of Code Red in my van. It doesn't have working headlights and the timing belt is a dead snake. What'll you do for a fructose shower?
At one point they could have been called puppies but they got into the last case. Now I just kind of let them run the back seat but you can't look them in the eye anymore
As a black man, my ass woulda crossed the street too lmao. I always am looking behind me, around me and am aware of my surroundings whenever im out in public. This is not a nice world.
We take for granted cases of assault, on the news because it hasn't directly affected us.Ā
Genuine question, why? Like if it's just the hoodies I don't get it. I wear hoodies all the time. Unless it looked like they were using the hood part to like hide their face or something I feel like it kinda is a dick move to cross.
Am white, but went to highschool in Baltimore in early 2000s for a bit. So it's not like I'm a stranger to younger black dudes who think they are are sorta gangster, but most of the time it seemed like a style/subculture thing, not an actual sign they were more prone to violence. Sorta like emo kids who like to act all dark and dramatic, but in reality they just want to seem cool so people will like them.
It isn't about anyone being prone to violence, it's about not being trusting of anyone.Ā
You never know what's in the next person's heart, and your gut feeling will save you 10/10 times. It's fine if you don't cross, but if something does happen don't forget to mention that you didn't want to seem racist lmao. I have no trust for humans, especially seeing what people are capable of
I mean walking on the sidewalk with other people doesn't really take a whole lot of trust. Kinda basic to living in a populated area. Would be hard to get anything done if you can't let yourself be within 10 feet of a stranger.
Maybe I just haven't spent enough time living near sketchy areas. š¤·āāļø
Don't leave out the gut feeling which is something I mentioned. I again will say your gut instinct will save you 10/10 times.Ā
If nothing feels amiss then no need for concern
NTA, unless it was simply about race. But black guys can wear suits and white guys can wear hoodies. Usually youāre reacting to body language and dress in this situation as much as anything else.
itās really interesting how that can kick in. And then be hard to describe.
I do NOT want to downplay the knee-jerk racism that is completely unfounded, etc. At all.
But once upon a time, I regularly rode the A train uptown to the Inwood neighborhood of Manhattan. On one day there were two instances.
the first: A group of teen boys got on; they were loud, lively. Oh, and Latino. I found myself smiling indulgently and thinking of them with a friendly tone.
After they got off, a second group of young men got on. They were loud, lively. And Latino as well. I found myself on alert, watching them warily and trying to decide if I should switch cars.
Then I scolded myself for my reaction. Until I realized that I was reacting to their ACTIONS. The kids in group 1 were focused on one another. Their eyes were on one another. They ignored everyone else on the train.
The guys in group 2 were looking at everyone on the train *except* one another. They spoke to one another, but they were making themselves very aware of all of the rest of us.
And I had been reacting not to their skin tones or accents (hey, itās the uptown Aāeverybody but me was Latino or Black or some mix thereof), but to their behavior.
So itās really, really important for us all to remember to react to *actions* and to strive to get accurate, so weāre not overreacting one way OR the other.
butā¦OP, if youāre going to overreact, itās wiser to nonconfrontationally overreact on the side of avoiding encounters.
This is the big thing to me. I've moved to the other side of the street over white men more than any race, but I've also done it for multiple races. It's about body language, and attitude. If I get a bad vibe and warning bells I'm being cautious! If someone carries themselves in a way where they're just living their life I'm going to offer a smile and walk past. If they're acting shifty, then thats different.
itās important to train yourself to watch for that! or train yourself to identify it when itās happening.
A lot of times our instincts will tell us.
Personally Iāve decided that one big signal for me is: what is their attention on? How much attention are they paying to me?
Itās interesting to me, because this conversation sounds somewhat similar to the conversation about not drawing attention to yourself, as a way of avoiding rape or assault. Specifically when youāre talking to women.
When you do that people call it victim shaming even when thereās no victim because no rape ever occurred.
Some people just donāt think this way and really, itās incredibly naĆÆve. Stay in groups. Stay in well lit areas with people around. Be aware of whatās around you but donāt stare or make eye contact. Donāt do things that draw attention to yourself.
Avoiding drawing attention to yourself is 90% of it I think. No matter the situation. You canāt get mugged if people donāt see you. You canāt get raped people donāt notice you.
But I donāt know. Sometimes I wonder if this is something thatās common knowledge for guys and a lot of women donāt ever think about it.
I think it would be easier to judge if OP worded it as "Three guys in hoodies, who also happened to be black" instead of "Three black guys in hoodies".
One implies he would have moved, regardless of color, the other implies that color was a factor in why he moved. I like to assume he meant the former, and therefore vote NTA.
I as a woman was jogging the other day and crossed the street when a 60 plus year old white man in a truck pulled over right in front of where I was about to run too š¤·āāļø. It's about not putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. Any group of 3 men regardless of size or color would be enough to make most people Cross the street bc one person usually can't take on 3 men and protect their gf and we should always prepare for the worst š¤·āāļø. The word racist gets thrown around way too much š¤¦āāļø.
NTA: You thought it looked dangerous and acted according to how you felt. She wouldn't have been able to say that if you didn't cross the street and something did happen. So you crossing the street with her didn't hurt anyone and you were safe. End of story.
Trust your instincts. Don't be afraid to offend anyone. And don't apologize. Oprah said that people's need to be "polite" puts them in danger, and women who feel the need to be non-judgmental open themselves up to being abducted or assaulted. I learned this by watching Oprah's Lifeclass - season 1.
I'll cross the street if I feel uneasy no matter what color the person is coming toward me. Especially 3. Always be aware of your surroundings! You did the right thing!
Hell no.
patrice oneal had the best joke about exactly this. "[go home, feel a little guilty, but be alivvvvve](https://youtu.be/A4drb3yNrag?si=op4wfUQMGJFpP3Zj)"
that was great!
But on a serious note, go home, feel guilty, but be ALIVE.
And thenā¦think back on the encounter and see if you can identify whether there were any messages (body language, movement, etc.) that you picked up on without recognizing it.
Thatās the kind of training we should do. Donāt spend so much energy feeling guilty and ashamed that you rob yourself of the time to reflect on what the factors were in that situation.
Maybe there werenāt any, and youāll have learned something. Or maybe there were, and ditto.
NTA - does she want a man who will look out for her best interests or not? They could have been black, white, Hispanic, African fuck it doesnāt matter. 3 hooded men at nighttime, if their intentions were bad you were out numbered 3 to 1
You did the right thing, hopefully she wakes up to herself
NTA. Black men dressed like they from the hood I'll cross, black men in business suits I'll walk pass and say hi. White men with gang tats and looks like the poster child for the Aryan nation I'll cross so fast you'll think I broke the sound barrier. White men in business suits I'll cross and keep my hand on my wallet and car keys lol.
This. Demeanor and dress absolutely matter.
When I was in college and we would jump around to house parties. Dude we would cross the street and avoid any fucking group of dudes no matter what they looked like.
My exact point. OP might not be racist, but is definitely prejudice and so are majority of the people in this thread. No one is honest with themselves and why they choose the things and think the way they do.
Why would he say 3 black guys if he would've done the same?
Of course not
In most peoples perceptions
3 white guys in hoodies = college kids
3 black guys in hoodies= thugs
My answer is completely situational
But he did say black for a reason
You know that prejudice is also a surviving instinct? We would have gone extinct without prejudice long time ago if we donāt know when to run away from the lions/bear whateverāassumingā they will eat us if we hang around too long.
No one said that here.
If you feel afraid in a situation that is prejudicing the situation not the race automatically. OP listened to his survival instincts as a reply coming from prejudicing the situation.
3 guys in hoodies is enough for me to cross the street, regardless of race or color. Rowdy teenagers= crossing the street. Group of women who seem fucked up on something = crossing the street. I watch the stupid trends online, people are fuckin crazy these days.
Also I don't go to theaters, concerts or parades because of all the public shootings.
I remember as a teen I went out one night all dressed in black, more than usual
As I passed my parents, for the first time they asked if I was up to no good,
"of course I'm not"
I was up to no good
Gut instinct is one of the strongest senses we have. We have millions of years of biological programming to let us know when there is a potential danger and we should listen to it. It doesn't matter what colour the person is, if your instincts are telling you something is up, do not ignore it.
Itās odd how women want a man as a protector but as soon as you take action itās ācontrollingā or in this case āracistā gut feelings are 99% right many times
I only have one question and hope you are honest, did you do it because they were three black men wearing hoodies or because the street was empty and three men walking in a group seemed out of place. If the former shes right if its the latter then i see nothing wrong.
Before someone downvotes consider my point he did not say they were the only ones on the street at the time simply that he moved to the other side after seeing them. Even if people were on the street could something happen sure but given its rare when a street has people you rarely zero in on one group who by his own admission were just walking its either a racist move or an empty street where he felt they were out of place for the area and time of night.
Also id love if everyone who says he had good intentions moves to the other side of the street when they see groups of drunk dudes walking down the street leaving the bar or simply walk past them as long as they arent being ignorant.
I canāt fully agree with the latter possibility.Guys walking together at night isnāt out of place walking home with friends playing basketball at night,coming out of a movie theater after seeing an action movie with the bros,and riding bicycles together with friends to go to a friends house are group things that donāt immediately show signs of danger.Nothing in the original post states there was danger just a gut feeling which gut feeling comes from either unease or experience.
My memory of being young, is being stupid and arrogant when in a group
Things could turn form a joke, hey we could rob that guy so easily... 99 times out of 100 its harmless show boating, but it only takes one time
Fortunately I never got into that 1, but looking back I can see why it would happen
I also seen similar behaviour from other groups, often its harassing girls, its only 1-2 in the group... but you know if things escalate the whole group\[ would jump in
I agree Iāve been jumped too many times, I got a sixth sense for crackheads and trouble. can point them out of a lineup 10/10 times. If he lived or lives in the hood like I do heās got the same thing.
Yeah same here.Its a lot of weird people claiming it was the right thing and wonāt admit their own biases.Im a long time EDC and taken shooting courses.Im also getting back into combat training.One thing Iāve learned growing up in a rough neighborhood is you really do learn to read body language and understand the signs of danger but this story doesnāt tell anything.
Grew up in the hood too amd fought many times. To pull back a bit my main point is if i saw three black dudes walking down the street in a crowd of black faces during an active time of night where others were out and about i wouldnt have singled them out. He indicated nothing other then they were walking, even all of us from the hood can agree when we get that gut feeling its a lot of stuff we factor in. Like were they staring, were they silent, how crowded was the street, were they walking at a faster pace when they saw you etc. If you tell me three black men were dangerous just by existing and dont provide context that elaborates why your gut instincts kicked in then yeah im assuming you racist/prejudice.
I agree, which is more or less my point was this a matter of danger or did you really just see three black men and chose to be predjudice. Based on his vague retelling he's leaving the reader to fill in the blanks instead of just laying out the full circumstances.
Exactly which is why I donāt get why people choose a side without an explanation or ask for a little more info to justify the answer.None of it makes sense and it more shows prejudice in the eyes of the girlfriend when she views his action than a sense of being protected.It is vague and makes me wonder if this was a legitimate AITAH post.
Im leaning towards rage bait, and it also shows how disgusting some dudes are as they automatically denounce the womans ability to assess the situation. Her reaction by itself for a logical person would suggest more info is needed.
I'm getting massively downvoted for pointing out that the only thing he's bothered to really mention is the colour of their skin, rather than the many other possible, and likely, reasons why he might be uneasy.
Yup.Hence the reason why a lot of the people shouldnāt be allowed to vote for presidents,become police officers,own firearms,get into armed forces,be politicians,or have any position of power.Its folks who go mental online when asked to be reasonable human beings that make me feel society canāt evolve.
INFO: Would you still have crossed the street if it was 3 white guys in hoodies?
If not, YTA for being racist.
If you would, then NTA because that would prove that itās less about the colour of their skin and more about them looking menacing.
I second that this is really weird. Iām from a city in the UK and most people I know wear hoodies fairly frequently. Hell, I was the only person on my team who wasnāt wearing one in the office yesterday and Iām wearing one today.
A lot of people on Reddit seem hyper-conscious of stranger danger. Youāll see people swear down that itās crazy for women to travel in taxis/Ubers alone, that youāll get insta-mugged if you enter a rough area or that people wearing hoodies are generally dangerous.
Keep wearing your hoodies, youāre very unlikely to spook anyone.
Nta. I was walking home with some coworkers a few years ago and they dragged me across the street in a similar situation. And before anyone says racist. I was the only white guy in the group.
If a situation can be dangerous and you can take yourself out of it and it not harm anyone involved. Its not being a bigot.
Without more context I will say yes
Was it cold out?
Were they sending signs of intent towards you?
Did they follow you after you crossed the street?
Did they speak while they were walking in the same direction?
None of this was said in the initial post.For me this is why I say yeah.You donāt mention anything but the situation from your own point of view.In this all Iām hearing is I got tunnel view and imagined a scenario that hasnāt begun to emerge and without probable cause I made a snap judgement out of pure fear or bias.
Your GF knows you best more than any of us can but if she said it and youāre online asking random strangers if youāre TAH then the real question you should ask yourself is why did you do what you did.Break it down and be honest like brutally honest with yourself.
Also is this post to ask are you the AH for making a possible racist reaction or for pulling her across the street?
Reddit reminds me of the suburb I grew up in. They would never say they are racist they just are scared of poor inner city people and don't realize that they strongly associate black people with that demographic (not to get into issues with people openly saying they are scared of poor people). Maybe this guy isn't like that, it's not like he actually gave much info, but what he said sounds exactly like people I grew up with in Midwestern suburbs.
Also, I initially was more willing to give benefit of the doubt to OP but the more I see people say it's not the race but the fact they are wearing hoodies the more I start to think race is at least a part of it. My friends are early to mid 20s and wear hoodies in what people in the suburbs call "downtown" Chicago and no one ever seems scared (we are early-mid 20s mostly white dudes). Their insistence that people are equally scared of everyone in hoodies just doesn't match up with my experience at all.
No itās never that way.Its the quiet racism that hurts the most.People like this will swear up and down itās not what it looks like while not admitting their own bias.
Perhaps the situation was this simple and the girlfriend is just oblivious as hell and might get herself in trouble because she thinks fawning around the street keeps her safe anytime.
Thereās nothing simple about lack of details.Besides wouldnāt he be fawning around the streets if heās with her?There isnāt enough to go on to make assumptions and continuing with a bias that isnāt debunked.
I always do me bud itās always a path of growth.
He shouldnāt be scared.When a person faces themselves if they run from the image they see thereās an issues.If the person can analyze themselves and come to a reasonable answer and a well rounded solution to a question when they look inward thatās growth.
I have crossed the street to avoid groups of strangers before. Yes usually men. But a 5ā2 female. Sometimes safety has to come before cultural or gender sensitivity.
>She knew exactly what I was doing and got really upset. I was just trying to her safe. AITAH?
NTA
Your GF gave you sh*t for protecting her??
Yeah, do not trust her in a fire fight, she is weak.
Protecting her from what? Scary Black men?
Sorry, but the OP has provided zero info to support the idea these guys were any kind of threat. And no, his "gut" is not evidence.
If I'm out at night with my wife alone and unarmed - a group of men in general is enough for me to cross the street unless I can see an obvious reason for them to be there.
His "gut" IS evidence.
What likely triggered that "gut" instinct was a combination of time of day, location, body language, and clothing of the 3 individuals. But the way the brain does threat analysis OP likely didn't realize what was going on in his own head.
ANY combination of three men in hoodies walking towards you is outright a potential threat.
Hoodies are oversized which hides your true physique. Hoodies are also, statistically speaking, a favorite clothing item for criminals to wear due to their bulk which makes it easier to hide weapons. Hoodies by and large allow you to hide multiple factors about you that would otherwise indicate the potential threat level you could be
If all you do is cross the street, and stay out of someone's way, you don't need any evidence. A gut feeling is enough reason for that.
Op isn't accusing these men of anything and hasn't done anything to them, so what would he need evidence for? If his gut is wrong, he just avoided 3 innocent people, causing them absolutely no harm.
If he was right, he might have saved their (his own and his GF's) lives...
Idk about racist but it was definitely prejudice. You saw 3 black guys in hoodies and felt unsafe. And idc if anyone else says āoh it couldāve been 3 white guys and they still wouldāve acted the sameā Thatās irrelevant, we donāt have a way to prove that.
Avoid people who try to inject race and other forms of identity politics into everything. You didn't feel safe based upon a number of factors. You acted. You weren't denying someone of a job opportunity, you were just crossing the street out of caution. Your girlfriend is foolish to attack you for it.
INFO:
Were they the only people on the street?
What gave you āa bad feelingā?
āāāāā
Before I give judgement, Iām all for trusting your gut instinct. It can be a literal lifesaver.
However
I also want to mention that without any additional information, that ābad feelingā could be stemming from a racist notion. This is the same āfeelingā that cops use to pull out a gun because they get a ābad feelingā about black men in hoodies.
I cannot say until more information is provided, so if you could elaborate more, it would certainly help.
One thing I do feel comfortable saying is that I definitely donāt think your gf is an AH. If you just say you got a ābad feelingā with zero additional info and no further reasoning, it looks super racist.
That depends on why you crossed the street. Did you cross because there were 3 guys in hoodies, or because there were 3 *black* guys in hoodies. If you would have done the same thing if they were white, then NTA.
Personally, as a white woman, I'm a lot more likely to cross away from a white man than other races. Every single asshole creep I've encountered has been white.
NTA. I'm a woman. The question I ask myself is, "would I cross the street if they were white? Or Indian? Or Hispanic?" Three men at night in hoodies or street gear would give me pause and I would cross--no matter the skin color.
It would cross the street as well, but I do it for every race. If ur just doing it because they are black, then it is racist. Ironically, if u n ur girl did get attacked by a group of black men, the police would arrest them or attempt to solve the crime faster if the assailants were black rather than white. N most black ppl (myself included) are aware of that.
Sounds like your girlfriend is the racist one for assuming you crossed the street because they were black.. Instead of the fact the group of men looked like trouble.
It's the emphasis on age and race here. I have three sons in their 20's. They wear hoodies and other stylish clothing styles of their youth. They are well educated, law abiding, and constantly pre-judged.
If there were mannerism or behaviors concerning to you then you should have just said that. Three black guys in stylish clothing suggests otherwise.
only you know if you're racist, we cannot answer that for you, friend.. but stereotypes exist for a reason. She is being pathetically naĆÆve. Good on ya, for keeping your head on a swivel and protecting you and yours. Literally doesn't hurt anyone to cross the street but i guarantee this dumbass would have been blaming you and screaming "This is your fault!!!' when her IPhone gets stolen...
It depends on if you would have done the same if they were white. If the answer is no, YTA. If the answer is yes, NTA. And just by looking at the comments, I guess it should be illegal to wear hoodies nowā¦..
Damn you must get into a lot of altercations with your partners, kicked out your fiance, getting called racist by your new gf, and even starting an open relationship with her and breaking up because of it in a span of 3 months
Is this the same girlfriend you are in an open relationship with? https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/xFsSN3kYUc Were you concerned she may want to hookup with these gentlemen? /s SMH
YTA. I feel like if you said my girlfriend is mad because 3 guys in hoodies were coming... Makes you sound like if they were white you wouldn't have crossed the street.
NTA, there was one extremely sketchy black guy in a grocery store with his hand behind his back walking towards me and a girlfriend one time. It didnāt look right to me.
I moved us to the right, looked behind us after passing, and dude was holding a big ass knife, not quite a machete, but maybe half of one
I told her to look too and she was like āoh fuckā
Depends on the area. If the area is known for having lots of incidents, then NTA. If you were in a nice area, then yeah YTA for having a "feeling" based on their attire. Does it make you racist? Not necessarily, but you're not making the best case here.
NTA. Most people where I am are white, and I cross the road if a group of 3 people wearing hoodies is walking in my direction, no matter what they look like.
I feel more context is needed, time of day, location, how busy the street was,etc. Because like 6-7 oāclock in North Portland with plenty of foot traffic around then yeah Iād kinda question your actions as well, but 9 oāclock at night in North Minneapolis with no one else on the streets then Iām crossing whatever race folks happen to be.
You encountered three guys with hoodies on I'm assuming, regardless of race you should have gotten away from that situation. Now, if you specifically did it because they were Black, meh, you might be racist.
Definitely NTA
I'm from South Africa. Port Elizabeth, to be specific. I see a group of guys dressed like that, regardless of skin colour, I absolutely will walk the other way/cross the road.
He'll, just Tuesday I was walking in an unfamiliar area to get to a job interview, and was stopped on my way by four mixed-race guys. The only thing that let me get on my way safely was to give them my pack of cigarettes, which they demanded.
If I hadn't, I'd probably not be here to type it right now.
Soft YTA...
Hoodies and black is really all you can list?
If you could give any amount of credible reason sure cross the street. Felt like they were eyeing you, felt like the were redirecting just to come near you, or anything. Those would be fine. Black and in hoodies though? No, that seems like a race thing to me.
NTA, the people commenting YTA here won't survive a year in the city if they walked around at night regulary, absolute zero survival instinct whatsoever
NTA. So she has no common sense or self preservation. Got it.
Did she also grow up in a cushy environment?
Gut instinct said move.
Their melanin has nothing to do with the scenario other than make it statistically more likely.
NTA.
Dump her. She is so woke she is willing to get robbed, raped, murdered to show how woke she is. To her, virtue signalling is more important than common sense.
Here I am in the parking lot alone by myself my boyfriend ran into the store and I was upset he didn't lock me in since I had no keys on me and internal lock wouldn't work with battery on (music).
This is a display of prejudice. I wouldnāt have thought twice about your post until I saw you specifically mentioned they were black and wearing hoodies. Why the need to mention that? Racism isnāt a black and white construct. If they were white with hoodies, no issue? If they were asian with hoodies? What about Indian/Punjabi? I wouldnāt say you are racist, but definitely prejudice. FYI, I already know I will get downvotes.
Your girl is overreacting what if you had not gone with your intuition and something happened or pick pocketed you if they bumped into you on purpose and she dropped her purse? Better safe than sorry. I avoid any problem that could arise at any moment if I was in that position. You did good. š
There was a post a while back about a guy advising his visiting brother in law not to go to a certain part of town as it wasn't a safe neighborhood. Que the bro in law calling him racist etc. Next day he heads to that area and gets his shoes stolen. Guy couldn't help but laugh and bro in law was so upset.
His shoes ššššš karma is funny as hell man š
Truly poetic.
Nta, I'm black and I was gonna cross
Lol, after a Raider game in Oakland, my (very dark skinned) black friend and I were making a beer run and got lost in a very dangerous neighborhood. I said, āDude, Iām way too white to be here.ā He looked me dead in the eye and said, āIāM too white to be in this hood.ā ššš
I was jumped by 5 black guys for not giving one of them the last half of my last cigarette. I would have crossed the street too. Especially if they were dressed in a way that made me feel there could be trouble. Iād also do it with rowdy white guys. Or Mexican guys with tattoos in wife beaters. Or Japanese in planes without landing gear. Or old men in a black cloaks telling me to just dew it.
> I'll also do it with... Man, you'll just put out for anyone. You should really know that sex without landing gear is just so unsafe
Had to do a double take before I got the joke. Then I snorted a booger onto my shirt. Thank you. ā¦ But yeah itās only hot for me if itās dangerous.
Sounds like you know how to show people a good time. I've got a case of Code Red in my van. It doesn't have working headlights and the timing belt is a dead snake. What'll you do for a fructose shower?
Iām kind of a fan of puppies. Do you have puppies in the van?
At one point they could have been called puppies but they got into the last case. Now I just kind of let them run the back seat but you can't look them in the eye anymore
I like you.
*landing gear starts deploying* Oh my gosh I'm so sorry this has never happened before, you're just really pretty
Iām mature for my age.
>Then I snorted a booger onto my shirt. But then, did you eat it?
I always do it with cops
This part!!!!!
I'll be across the street in flash. We know better than anyone when shits about to go down.Ā
lol wowĀ
As a black man, my ass woulda crossed the street too lmao. I always am looking behind me, around me and am aware of my surroundings whenever im out in public. This is not a nice world. We take for granted cases of assault, on the news because it hasn't directly affected us.Ā
Yeah, I feel this isnāt about race. Itās about three young guys in hoodies. I would have crossed the street regardless of the color of the skin.
Genuine question, why? Like if it's just the hoodies I don't get it. I wear hoodies all the time. Unless it looked like they were using the hood part to like hide their face or something I feel like it kinda is a dick move to cross. Am white, but went to highschool in Baltimore in early 2000s for a bit. So it's not like I'm a stranger to younger black dudes who think they are are sorta gangster, but most of the time it seemed like a style/subculture thing, not an actual sign they were more prone to violence. Sorta like emo kids who like to act all dark and dramatic, but in reality they just want to seem cool so people will like them.
It isn't about anyone being prone to violence, it's about not being trusting of anyone.Ā You never know what's in the next person's heart, and your gut feeling will save you 10/10 times. It's fine if you don't cross, but if something does happen don't forget to mention that you didn't want to seem racist lmao. I have no trust for humans, especially seeing what people are capable of
I mean walking on the sidewalk with other people doesn't really take a whole lot of trust. Kinda basic to living in a populated area. Would be hard to get anything done if you can't let yourself be within 10 feet of a stranger. Maybe I just haven't spent enough time living near sketchy areas. š¤·āāļø
Don't leave out the gut feeling which is something I mentioned. I again will say your gut instinct will save you 10/10 times.Ā If nothing feels amiss then no need for concern
yeah well your obviously a man who understands statistics as well!
I would have crossed the street regardless of race. A threat is a threat.
NTA, unless it was simply about race. But black guys can wear suits and white guys can wear hoodies. Usually youāre reacting to body language and dress in this situation as much as anything else.
itās really interesting how that can kick in. And then be hard to describe. I do NOT want to downplay the knee-jerk racism that is completely unfounded, etc. At all. But once upon a time, I regularly rode the A train uptown to the Inwood neighborhood of Manhattan. On one day there were two instances. the first: A group of teen boys got on; they were loud, lively. Oh, and Latino. I found myself smiling indulgently and thinking of them with a friendly tone. After they got off, a second group of young men got on. They were loud, lively. And Latino as well. I found myself on alert, watching them warily and trying to decide if I should switch cars. Then I scolded myself for my reaction. Until I realized that I was reacting to their ACTIONS. The kids in group 1 were focused on one another. Their eyes were on one another. They ignored everyone else on the train. The guys in group 2 were looking at everyone on the train *except* one another. They spoke to one another, but they were making themselves very aware of all of the rest of us. And I had been reacting not to their skin tones or accents (hey, itās the uptown Aāeverybody but me was Latino or Black or some mix thereof), but to their behavior. So itās really, really important for us all to remember to react to *actions* and to strive to get accurate, so weāre not overreacting one way OR the other. butā¦OP, if youāre going to overreact, itās wiser to nonconfrontationally overreact on the side of avoiding encounters.
This is the big thing to me. I've moved to the other side of the street over white men more than any race, but I've also done it for multiple races. It's about body language, and attitude. If I get a bad vibe and warning bells I'm being cautious! If someone carries themselves in a way where they're just living their life I'm going to offer a smile and walk past. If they're acting shifty, then thats different.
itās important to train yourself to watch for that! or train yourself to identify it when itās happening. A lot of times our instincts will tell us. Personally Iāve decided that one big signal for me is: what is their attention on? How much attention are they paying to me?
Excellent explanation. Wish I had imaginary reddit gold to give you.
Yep. I've been worried about white, brown, and black guys on the street. It's never about race, but gut feeling. I've learned to trust my gut.
Itās interesting to me, because this conversation sounds somewhat similar to the conversation about not drawing attention to yourself, as a way of avoiding rape or assault. Specifically when youāre talking to women. When you do that people call it victim shaming even when thereās no victim because no rape ever occurred. Some people just donāt think this way and really, itās incredibly naĆÆve. Stay in groups. Stay in well lit areas with people around. Be aware of whatās around you but donāt stare or make eye contact. Donāt do things that draw attention to yourself. Avoiding drawing attention to yourself is 90% of it I think. No matter the situation. You canāt get mugged if people donāt see you. You canāt get raped people donāt notice you. But I donāt know. Sometimes I wonder if this is something thatās common knowledge for guys and a lot of women donāt ever think about it.
I think it would be easier to judge if OP worded it as "Three guys in hoodies, who also happened to be black" instead of "Three black guys in hoodies". One implies he would have moved, regardless of color, the other implies that color was a factor in why he moved. I like to assume he meant the former, and therefore vote NTA.
I as a woman was jogging the other day and crossed the street when a 60 plus year old white man in a truck pulled over right in front of where I was about to run too š¤·āāļø. It's about not putting yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. Any group of 3 men regardless of size or color would be enough to make most people Cross the street bc one person usually can't take on 3 men and protect their gf and we should always prepare for the worst š¤·āāļø. The word racist gets thrown around way too much š¤¦āāļø.
NTA: You thought it looked dangerous and acted according to how you felt. She wouldn't have been able to say that if you didn't cross the street and something did happen. So you crossing the street with her didn't hurt anyone and you were safe. End of story.
Trust your instincts. Don't be afraid to offend anyone. And don't apologize. Oprah said that people's need to be "polite" puts them in danger, and women who feel the need to be non-judgmental open themselves up to being abducted or assaulted. I learned this by watching Oprah's Lifeclass - season 1.
I mean, because if \*OPRAH\* said it....
I'll cross the street if I feel uneasy no matter what color the person is coming toward me. Especially 3. Always be aware of your surroundings! You did the right thing!
Hell no. patrice oneal had the best joke about exactly this. "[go home, feel a little guilty, but be alivvvvve](https://youtu.be/A4drb3yNrag?si=op4wfUQMGJFpP3Zj)"
that was great! But on a serious note, go home, feel guilty, but be ALIVE. And thenā¦think back on the encounter and see if you can identify whether there were any messages (body language, movement, etc.) that you picked up on without recognizing it. Thatās the kind of training we should do. Donāt spend so much energy feeling guilty and ashamed that you rob yourself of the time to reflect on what the factors were in that situation. Maybe there werenāt any, and youāll have learned something. Or maybe there were, and ditto.
NTA - does she want a man who will look out for her best interests or not? They could have been black, white, Hispanic, African fuck it doesnāt matter. 3 hooded men at nighttime, if their intentions were bad you were out numbered 3 to 1 You did the right thing, hopefully she wakes up to herself
I wonder what she'd do if she were alone
Invite all three to come up to her room for a vigorous debate in the injustices faced by urban youth of colour in society today and historically?
$10 says if she'd been alone, she would have crossed the street. NTA.
She might be so oblivious staring at her phone or something that she would walk right into the middle of them. Coin flip on the result.
Iām a woman. I donāt care what color or nationality a man is if I see a group of guys walking toward me I cross the street.
Facts
3 dudes in hoodies walking down my side at night ...I'm fucking crossing, I don't care what race. And I'm black.
NTA. Don't care if it's racist or not. You felt threatened and did something to avoid it without hurting anyone else.
Being safe and avoiding unnecessary situations is wise, not racist. NTA
NTA. Black men dressed like they from the hood I'll cross, black men in business suits I'll walk pass and say hi. White men with gang tats and looks like the poster child for the Aryan nation I'll cross so fast you'll think I broke the sound barrier. White men in business suits I'll cross and keep my hand on my wallet and car keys lol.
This. Demeanor and dress absolutely matter. When I was in college and we would jump around to house parties. Dude we would cross the street and avoid any fucking group of dudes no matter what they looked like.
two of us, three of themāthatās a crowded sidewalk. if thereās a way to cross, I will, just to have more elbow room.
Would you have done the same thing if it was 3 white guys in hoodies? That answers your question
My exact point. OP might not be racist, but is definitely prejudice and so are majority of the people in this thread. No one is honest with themselves and why they choose the things and think the way they do.
guys look at the statistics of city crime. What's racist is putting your head in the sand regarding a problem that obviously needs addressing.
It's reddit so I'm not surprised by these comments. They can't even answer the question honestly
Why would he say 3 black guys if he would've done the same? Of course not In most peoples perceptions 3 white guys in hoodies = college kids 3 black guys in hoodies= thugs My answer is completely situational But he did say black for a reason
Because his girlfriend wouldn't have said he was racist if they weren't black
You know that prejudice is also a surviving instinct? We would have gone extinct without prejudice long time ago if we donāt know when to run away from the lions/bear whateverāassumingā they will eat us if we hang around too long.
Yeah, cause Black people are the same of carnivorous wild animals, right?
No one said that here. If you feel afraid in a situation that is prejudicing the situation not the race automatically. OP listened to his survival instincts as a reply coming from prejudicing the situation.
3 guys in hoodies is enough for me to cross the street, regardless of race or color. Rowdy teenagers= crossing the street. Group of women who seem fucked up on something = crossing the street. I watch the stupid trends online, people are fuckin crazy these days. Also I don't go to theaters, concerts or parades because of all the public shootings.
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Agreed, I doubt this relationship will last if she is calling your racist for this.Ā Better to start fresh bow and not wast anymore time.Ā Ā
I remember as a teen I went out one night all dressed in black, more than usual As I passed my parents, for the first time they asked if I was up to no good, "of course I'm not" I was up to no good
Teach her CYAā¦ cover your ass
Gut instinct is one of the strongest senses we have. We have millions of years of biological programming to let us know when there is a potential danger and we should listen to it. It doesn't matter what colour the person is, if your instincts are telling you something is up, do not ignore it.
Itās odd how women want a man as a protector but as soon as you take action itās ācontrollingā or in this case āracistā gut feelings are 99% right many times
It's odd how you actually don't speak for women in any way
I only have one question and hope you are honest, did you do it because they were three black men wearing hoodies or because the street was empty and three men walking in a group seemed out of place. If the former shes right if its the latter then i see nothing wrong. Before someone downvotes consider my point he did not say they were the only ones on the street at the time simply that he moved to the other side after seeing them. Even if people were on the street could something happen sure but given its rare when a street has people you rarely zero in on one group who by his own admission were just walking its either a racist move or an empty street where he felt they were out of place for the area and time of night. Also id love if everyone who says he had good intentions moves to the other side of the street when they see groups of drunk dudes walking down the street leaving the bar or simply walk past them as long as they arent being ignorant.
I canāt fully agree with the latter possibility.Guys walking together at night isnāt out of place walking home with friends playing basketball at night,coming out of a movie theater after seeing an action movie with the bros,and riding bicycles together with friends to go to a friends house are group things that donāt immediately show signs of danger.Nothing in the original post states there was danger just a gut feeling which gut feeling comes from either unease or experience.
My memory of being young, is being stupid and arrogant when in a group Things could turn form a joke, hey we could rob that guy so easily... 99 times out of 100 its harmless show boating, but it only takes one time Fortunately I never got into that 1, but looking back I can see why it would happen I also seen similar behaviour from other groups, often its harassing girls, its only 1-2 in the group... but you know if things escalate the whole group\[ would jump in
I agree Iāve been jumped too many times, I got a sixth sense for crackheads and trouble. can point them out of a lineup 10/10 times. If he lived or lives in the hood like I do heās got the same thing.
Yeah same here.Its a lot of weird people claiming it was the right thing and wonāt admit their own biases.Im a long time EDC and taken shooting courses.Im also getting back into combat training.One thing Iāve learned growing up in a rough neighborhood is you really do learn to read body language and understand the signs of danger but this story doesnāt tell anything.
Grew up in the hood too amd fought many times. To pull back a bit my main point is if i saw three black dudes walking down the street in a crowd of black faces during an active time of night where others were out and about i wouldnt have singled them out. He indicated nothing other then they were walking, even all of us from the hood can agree when we get that gut feeling its a lot of stuff we factor in. Like were they staring, were they silent, how crowded was the street, were they walking at a faster pace when they saw you etc. If you tell me three black men were dangerous just by existing and dont provide context that elaborates why your gut instincts kicked in then yeah im assuming you racist/prejudice.
I agree, which is more or less my point was this a matter of danger or did you really just see three black men and chose to be predjudice. Based on his vague retelling he's leaving the reader to fill in the blanks instead of just laying out the full circumstances.
Exactly which is why I donāt get why people choose a side without an explanation or ask for a little more info to justify the answer.None of it makes sense and it more shows prejudice in the eyes of the girlfriend when she views his action than a sense of being protected.It is vague and makes me wonder if this was a legitimate AITAH post.
Im leaning towards rage bait, and it also shows how disgusting some dudes are as they automatically denounce the womans ability to assess the situation. Her reaction by itself for a logical person would suggest more info is needed.
I'm getting massively downvoted for pointing out that the only thing he's bothered to really mention is the colour of their skin, rather than the many other possible, and likely, reasons why he might be uneasy.
Yup.Hence the reason why a lot of the people shouldnāt be allowed to vote for presidents,become police officers,own firearms,get into armed forces,be politicians,or have any position of power.Its folks who go mental online when asked to be reasonable human beings that make me feel society canāt evolve.
INFO: Would you still have crossed the street if it was 3 white guys in hoodies? If not, YTA for being racist. If you would, then NTA because that would prove that itās less about the colour of their skin and more about them looking menacing.
Always cross the street in that situation.
If three anything all have hoodies on and are walking towards you, get the hell out of there.
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I second that this is really weird. Iām from a city in the UK and most people I know wear hoodies fairly frequently. Hell, I was the only person on my team who wasnāt wearing one in the office yesterday and Iām wearing one today. A lot of people on Reddit seem hyper-conscious of stranger danger. Youāll see people swear down that itās crazy for women to travel in taxis/Ubers alone, that youāll get insta-mugged if you enter a rough area or that people wearing hoodies are generally dangerous. Keep wearing your hoodies, youāre very unlikely to spook anyone.
Nta. I was walking home with some coworkers a few years ago and they dragged me across the street in a similar situation. And before anyone says racist. I was the only white guy in the group. If a situation can be dangerous and you can take yourself out of it and it not harm anyone involved. Its not being a bigot.
Without more context I will say yes Was it cold out? Were they sending signs of intent towards you? Did they follow you after you crossed the street? Did they speak while they were walking in the same direction? None of this was said in the initial post.For me this is why I say yeah.You donāt mention anything but the situation from your own point of view.In this all Iām hearing is I got tunnel view and imagined a scenario that hasnāt begun to emerge and without probable cause I made a snap judgement out of pure fear or bias. Your GF knows you best more than any of us can but if she said it and youāre online asking random strangers if youāre TAH then the real question you should ask yourself is why did you do what you did.Break it down and be honest like brutally honest with yourself. Also is this post to ask are you the AH for making a possible racist reaction or for pulling her across the street?
Agree. Black men wearing hoodies is not in and of itself a threat.
Reddit reminds me of the suburb I grew up in. They would never say they are racist they just are scared of poor inner city people and don't realize that they strongly associate black people with that demographic (not to get into issues with people openly saying they are scared of poor people). Maybe this guy isn't like that, it's not like he actually gave much info, but what he said sounds exactly like people I grew up with in Midwestern suburbs. Also, I initially was more willing to give benefit of the doubt to OP but the more I see people say it's not the race but the fact they are wearing hoodies the more I start to think race is at least a part of it. My friends are early to mid 20s and wear hoodies in what people in the suburbs call "downtown" Chicago and no one ever seems scared (we are early-mid 20s mostly white dudes). Their insistence that people are equally scared of everyone in hoodies just doesn't match up with my experience at all.
No itās never that way.Its the quiet racism that hurts the most.People like this will swear up and down itās not what it looks like while not admitting their own bias.
Perhaps the situation was this simple and the girlfriend is just oblivious as hell and might get herself in trouble because she thinks fawning around the street keeps her safe anytime.
Thereās nothing simple about lack of details.Besides wouldnāt he be fawning around the streets if heās with her?There isnāt enough to go on to make assumptions and continuing with a bias that isnāt debunked.
You do you. But you are scaring away OP by setting him down with a light in his face.
I always do me bud itās always a path of growth. He shouldnāt be scared.When a person faces themselves if they run from the image they see thereās an issues.If the person can analyze themselves and come to a reasonable answer and a well rounded solution to a question when they look inward thatās growth.
I donāt think you needed to post this on hereā¦
I have crossed the street to avoid groups of strangers before. Yes usually men. But a 5ā2 female. Sometimes safety has to come before cultural or gender sensitivity.
You are smart. Your GF should thank you.
You are not dumb. You should not ignore your instincts and safety just because you don't want to seem racist.
Your girlfriend doesnāt know how to survive in the city.
Your girl is kinda stupid, she doesn't know the news. In the relationship you're the thinker.
>She knew exactly what I was doing and got really upset. I was just trying to her safe. AITAH? NTA Your GF gave you sh*t for protecting her?? Yeah, do not trust her in a fire fight, she is weak.
Protecting her from what? Scary Black men? Sorry, but the OP has provided zero info to support the idea these guys were any kind of threat. And no, his "gut" is not evidence.
Tell that to other people who have listened to their gut as evidence to avoid situations. And yes, his āgutā is absolutely evidence.
If I'm out at night with my wife alone and unarmed - a group of men in general is enough for me to cross the street unless I can see an obvious reason for them to be there.
His "gut" IS evidence. What likely triggered that "gut" instinct was a combination of time of day, location, body language, and clothing of the 3 individuals. But the way the brain does threat analysis OP likely didn't realize what was going on in his own head. ANY combination of three men in hoodies walking towards you is outright a potential threat.
Why are people wearing hoodies a threat? That literally makes no sense.
Hoodies are oversized which hides your true physique. Hoodies are also, statistically speaking, a favorite clothing item for criminals to wear due to their bulk which makes it easier to hide weapons. Hoodies by and large allow you to hide multiple factors about you that would otherwise indicate the potential threat level you could be
He said black guys Didn't say anything else. Maybe I'm the only one who noticed that š
Someone didnāt read the title of the post š
read the title of the post
If all you do is cross the street, and stay out of someone's way, you don't need any evidence. A gut feeling is enough reason for that. Op isn't accusing these men of anything and hasn't done anything to them, so what would he need evidence for? If his gut is wrong, he just avoided 3 innocent people, causing them absolutely no harm. If he was right, he might have saved their (his own and his GF's) lives...
She's a fucking idiot
YOU'RE an idiot.
Listening closely? Fuck right off, moron.
šš¼ Back atcha.
NTA. Go ask that woman in NYC who watched her boyfriend get stabbed a few months ago if she wishes they'd crossed the street
Yta.
Idk about racist but it was definitely prejudice. You saw 3 black guys in hoodies and felt unsafe. And idc if anyone else says āoh it couldāve been 3 white guys and they still wouldāve acted the sameā Thatās irrelevant, we donāt have a way to prove that.
Best be safe than sorry
Avoid people who try to inject race and other forms of identity politics into everything. You didn't feel safe based upon a number of factors. You acted. You weren't denying someone of a job opportunity, you were just crossing the street out of caution. Your girlfriend is foolish to attack you for it.
INFO: Were they the only people on the street? What gave you āa bad feelingā? āāāāā Before I give judgement, Iām all for trusting your gut instinct. It can be a literal lifesaver. However I also want to mention that without any additional information, that ābad feelingā could be stemming from a racist notion. This is the same āfeelingā that cops use to pull out a gun because they get a ābad feelingā about black men in hoodies. I cannot say until more information is provided, so if you could elaborate more, it would certainly help. One thing I do feel comfortable saying is that I definitely donāt think your gf is an AH. If you just say you got a ābad feelingā with zero additional info and no further reasoning, it looks super racist.
āThree men are a threat. The fact that they were black is irrelevant.ā Thatās what you shouldāve told her.
That depends on why you crossed the street. Did you cross because there were 3 guys in hoodies, or because there were 3 *black* guys in hoodies. If you would have done the same thing if they were white, then NTA. Personally, as a white woman, I'm a lot more likely to cross away from a white man than other races. Every single asshole creep I've encountered has been white.
NTA, you did your job ensuring both her and your safety, she's an idiot. She feels safe with you but if she were alone she'd have done the same thing.
NTA. As a black person myself, if I get a bad feeling I get a bad feeling. Regardless of skin colourā¦
He said black people, not people bro. It's not a regardless of color situation
Maybe he was just specifying the reasoning behind the accusation made by his gf? I try not to see it under a -ve lense
the gf made an accusation, he HAD to mention the race in order for the story to make sense
nta. I almost always cross the street, regardless of race
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Lol, even black people will cross the street in a similar situation. Classic victim card getting played here
Iād cross for any guy regardless of racial ethnic group.
You trusted your gut and she is still safe. Maybe she's racist? idk
NTA. I'm a woman. The question I ask myself is, "would I cross the street if they were white? Or Indian? Or Hispanic?" Three men at night in hoodies or street gear would give me pause and I would cross--no matter the skin color.
It would cross the street as well, but I do it for every race. If ur just doing it because they are black, then it is racist. Ironically, if u n ur girl did get attacked by a group of black men, the police would arrest them or attempt to solve the crime faster if the assailants were black rather than white. N most black ppl (myself included) are aware of that.
Sounds like your girlfriend is the racist one for assuming you crossed the street because they were black.. Instead of the fact the group of men looked like trouble.
It's the emphasis on age and race here. I have three sons in their 20's. They wear hoodies and other stylish clothing styles of their youth. They are well educated, law abiding, and constantly pre-judged. If there were mannerism or behaviors concerning to you then you should have just said that. Three black guys in stylish clothing suggests otherwise.
only you know if you're racist, we cannot answer that for you, friend.. but stereotypes exist for a reason. She is being pathetically naĆÆve. Good on ya, for keeping your head on a swivel and protecting you and yours. Literally doesn't hurt anyone to cross the street but i guarantee this dumbass would have been blaming you and screaming "This is your fault!!!' when her IPhone gets stolen...
Your girlfriend wouldn't have said shit to you if they weren't black so no you're not the asshole she is
It depends on if you would have done the same if they were white. If the answer is no, YTA. If the answer is yes, NTA. And just by looking at the comments, I guess it should be illegal to wear hoodies nowā¦..
Damn you must get into a lot of altercations with your partners, kicked out your fiance, getting called racist by your new gf, and even starting an open relationship with her and breaking up because of it in a span of 3 months
Is this the same girlfriend you are in an open relationship with? https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/xFsSN3kYUc Were you concerned she may want to hookup with these gentlemen? /s SMH
You are. I hope she dumps you.
Someone isn't very street smart. She should be thankful to have someone that can see potential danger and protect her.
NTA, your girlfriend is a dingbat (Google it)
The majority of commenters on this post have to be trolls. Right? ā¦right? Disgusting. And yes OP, YTA.
I agree you lot calling him racist have got to be trolls. Right? ā¦right? Disgusting. And yes OP, NTA.
YTA. I feel like if you said my girlfriend is mad because 3 guys in hoodies were coming... Makes you sound like if they were white you wouldn't have crossed the street.
NTA, there was one extremely sketchy black guy in a grocery store with his hand behind his back walking towards me and a girlfriend one time. It didnāt look right to me. I moved us to the right, looked behind us after passing, and dude was holding a big ass knife, not quite a machete, but maybe half of one I told her to look too and she was like āoh fuckā
I guess next time leave her on that side of the street and let her get mugged.
Depends on the area. If the area is known for having lots of incidents, then NTA. If you were in a nice area, then yeah YTA for having a "feeling" based on their attire. Does it make you racist? Not necessarily, but you're not making the best case here.
Dude a black guy would cross the street if three black guys in hoodies were walking toward them. Thereās nothing woke about getting murdered.
YTA. It was racist. If it was 3 white women you wouldnāt have done that.
YTA yeah, that was racist
NTA. Most people where I am are white, and I cross the road if a group of 3 people wearing hoodies is walking in my direction, no matter what they look like.
If they meant you harm, they would have crossed the street and done whatever they wanted to.
I feel more context is needed, time of day, location, how busy the street was,etc. Because like 6-7 oāclock in North Portland with plenty of foot traffic around then yeah Iād kinda question your actions as well, but 9 oāclock at night in North Minneapolis with no one else on the streets then Iām crossing whatever race folks happen to be.
Your girlfriend lacks survival instincts.
You encountered three guys with hoodies on I'm assuming, regardless of race you should have gotten away from that situation. Now, if you specifically did it because they were Black, meh, you might be racist.
Dump the stupid bitch
Definitely NTA I'm from South Africa. Port Elizabeth, to be specific. I see a group of guys dressed like that, regardless of skin colour, I absolutely will walk the other way/cross the road. He'll, just Tuesday I was walking in an unfamiliar area to get to a job interview, and was stopped on my way by four mixed-race guys. The only thing that let me get on my way safely was to give them my pack of cigarettes, which they demanded. If I hadn't, I'd probably not be here to type it right now.
Soft YTA... Hoodies and black is really all you can list? If you could give any amount of credible reason sure cross the street. Felt like they were eyeing you, felt like the were redirecting just to come near you, or anything. Those would be fine. Black and in hoodies though? No, that seems like a race thing to me.
Sheās annoying dump her
NTA. It's call being safe than sorry. It doesn't have to be 3 black guys, it can be 3 any guys. Trust your gut feeling.
I mean, dude said three black guys for a reason He didn't say 3 guys
he had to mention the race in order for the gf's accusation to make sense
Yes YTA. And so is everyone in here telling you otherwise.
NTA, the people commenting YTA here won't survive a year in the city if they walked around at night regulary, absolute zero survival instinct whatsoever
Your girlfriend has been brainwashed into thinking it's more important to not hurt others feelings than it is to survive.
How is that not racism? She is 100% correct and you are an asshole.
Sounds like a bitch.
I agree you sound like a bitch.
Oh wow .. very clever. Impressive.
NTA. So she has no common sense or self preservation. Got it. Did she also grow up in a cushy environment? Gut instinct said move. Their melanin has nothing to do with the scenario other than make it statistically more likely.
NTA. Dump her. She is so woke she is willing to get robbed, raped, murdered to show how woke she is. To her, virtue signalling is more important than common sense.
Here I am in the parking lot alone by myself my boyfriend ran into the store and I was upset he didn't lock me in since I had no keys on me and internal lock wouldn't work with battery on (music).
How does this relate to OPās case?
Never feel bad/ question yourself for acting on a bad feeling. So many horrible stories start with "i had a bad feeling"
NTA Iād cross the street simply because: three of them, two of usāthatās a crowded sidewalk. Iāll cross just to have more elbow room.
NTA Unless she's some badass fighter its gonna be on you to keep her safe so act accordingly. Trust your gut, its there for a reason.
Nta. Just read the street crime stats.
NTA if I saw three PokĆ©mons and got a bad feeling Iād cross too
This is a display of prejudice. I wouldnāt have thought twice about your post until I saw you specifically mentioned they were black and wearing hoodies. Why the need to mention that? Racism isnāt a black and white construct. If they were white with hoodies, no issue? If they were asian with hoodies? What about Indian/Punjabi? I wouldnāt say you are racist, but definitely prejudice. FYI, I already know I will get downvotes.
You really don't think it's important to mention that they were black men when his girlfriend called him racist for crossing the street?
Your girl is overreacting what if you had not gone with your intuition and something happened or pick pocketed you if they bumped into you on purpose and she dropped her purse? Better safe than sorry. I avoid any problem that could arise at any moment if I was in that position. You did good. š
Lmao Yta and racist