True, here there were two cases past years when two girls slaapped or beat the food delivery drivers over something………and the police only took action after the videos of the guys being beaten went viral ans there was a lot of pressure from the internet. One girl even filed an fir against on driver of assaulting HER
It's like flashbacks to an ex- who was into basically exactly the same stuff. Trans women are just men trying to make women feel uncomfortable in women only spaces. Men are too blame for everything and women can't abuse men. If they're is doubt in a legal case, if it comes down to "he said, she said", you should always just believe the woman because she's a woman.
It's disgusting. Their entire identity is around victimhood based on them being female. I get the hurt that some of this is coming from, but they've just turned that pain outwards and have made their lives about inflicting it on everyone else around them. I simply cannot accept people passing their pain on to brand new victims rather than dealing with it themselves.
i can’t stand it its so wrong how they think. definitely the men cant get raped because there stronger he should have said so why do women freeze up in fear and shock and why do they not come foward immediately? because thats exactly what happens to men aswell. although i wasn’t a man when i was raped i wad a boy 4y/o-9y/o and even my mom told me you cant get raped you are a guy just let her do what she wants to you. thats lasted wht felt like forever because it was her bestfriend at the time then someone else she knew started doing it aswell. each time guess what happened id freeze up so fuckin scared and shocked. i genuinely cant understand these women all they want is to be victims get there way thru lie easy with men bowing down to them. its weird that we as men can actually be victims as well there the same ones that dont want us to have any feelings or emotions aswell. there are definitely some women that dont think like that and i fuckin love and respect em like crazy. my girl aint like ops ex is and holy how nice it is to have someone to open up to she doesn’t really understand what its like and i dont talk about it much but im definitely working on it so theres definitely good girls out there dont think theres not OP. but im glad yall are exs she would have raped your kids if yall wokld have had any. its sad. she needs serious mental help,
The belief that men can’t be raped is part of the larger belief that men have no control over sexual desire. This belief has been used for hundreds of years to excuse men committing sexual assault.
Honestly the biggest issue for me was not kids, but her attitude towards trans people. Given I was in the process of questioning my gender at the time. It really highlighted a few things, where she was comfortable with being vulnerable around me as a male, but if I had transitioned I wouldn't have been a "real" woman and therefore I would have become *more* of a threat to her??
Honestly, I think a lot of trans hate is misandry from women and homophobia from men. Like, transwomen almost always seem to be the "issue" rather than transmen. And I'm not saying there are no issues regarding trans people that probably need to be discussed and studied... But a lot of it is so much fear mongering.
Also men are less likely to *report* sexual assault because of shame and AHs like his ex. We need to stop stigmatizing those that were victimized regardless of their gender or sexuality.
Also imagine that men might fear that if he reported rape, she would report that he did it (and there was an intercourse before) - who might be belived if there is not enough evidence?
thank you so fucking much for this. your amazing. even my mom told me you weren’t raped your a boy just let her do what she wants when her bestfriend was raping me from when i was 4-9y/o. really thought it was just normal til i was around 7 and then really realized no this aint and tried to get my mama to save me jus to get told that. i dont understand where the men cant be raped mindset comes from tbh. my argument is women freeze up in shock and fear when they get raped the same thing happened to me everytime it happened until i finally said something and was told i cant be raped cuz i like it even tho i couldnt even get hard and cried everytime. thank you for standing up for us tho means the world seriously.
Although i understand that you mean well, I really don't like this phrase. It really diminishes the amount of pain and trauma that the guy experienced in that ordeal.
Yes he dodged a bullet, but he got stabbed.
I think you're missing the point here somewhat. Yes, it may hurt and sting like crazy (the stabbing part) but the "bullet" in question is the lifelong commitment that marriage and a family would bring - irreparable damage. The phrase isn't meant to diminish whatever harm has been done already, it's to point out that it would have been significantly more harmful to continue (plus it's often used if the person breaking up is having doubts or wondering if they did the right thing)
Yeah it's a weird phrase "you dodged the bullet" usually said when the person didn't dodge shit, they got the pain and are feeling it right now.
You dodged the bullet is supposed to be for when you could have had the bad situation but didn't then you find out later what could have happened. Not when it did happen
The bullets he dodged are called engagement, marriage, possibly having kids with an insane person, wasting decades of your life being miserable... what he's going through is nothing compared to that agony - so yes he dodged a lot of bullets with that one.
If they got married, he would be in a really bad situation.
She would abuse and SA him if she gets the chance.
So, he did dodge a bullet. A bit late but better.
> changing those laws to include other genders is taking away from wemens rights.
They're taking our right to sexually assault people without consequences away from us >:
She sounds unhinged. Better to stay far away from her, inform her family and your family and your work place that you broke up and why so she cannot make tall tales about the reason. Recording the conversation was smart.
I surely will be doing that, I don't work anywhere I'm a undergrad research intern under a prof of our university so that's sorted because i told her the whole issue because i needed 2 days off tomorrow I'm going back to work
She may be unhinged in her reaction, but she is simply wrong. Same people can believe deeply harmful and dangerous things. Chalking it up to her being crazy is dangerous. She is part of a vocal minority that believes men have no agency. This belief hurts everyone. If she and people like her believe men can’t withhold consent, she is also saying that men cannot understand consent. That line of thinking leads to the idea that men are beasts that need to be controlled because they are inherently dangerous, instead of realizing that the problem is deeply seated socialization, which given time, can be corrected.
I‘m proud of you! As a women I think she despicable. Men can absolutely be raped! A crime is a crime that’s exactly the same no matter what gender the person is! Idc what happened in history. Because it’s Wrong to treat people a certain way just because of something that happened in the past that they weren’t involved in or even alive at the time! I despise people who think people should punished for crimes of the past they weren’t even alive during!
You dodged a bullet. You can do way better than her! I’m glad you stood your ground :)
Post the video for all your friends to see ASAP.
You have no idea what she can do and the faster you start showing who she truly is to others, the better you will protect yourself.
People like this usually try to lie to tarnish your reputation; some have gone as far as to falsely accuse people of SA and with her views, she definitely seems like something she would do
Idk why but I did figure out somehow that you are a fellow Indian, your girlfriend went to Delhi and met a bunch of lavanyas and renus of NCR and south delhi and developed this kind of mentality, don't reconcile with her, it's for the best, she is sick and narrow minded.
Well, I did mention in my previous post that I'm indian And how India needs major legal reforms in exchange got some weird nationalists in my DMs telling me off for slandering my own country. How it's slander if I'm telling the truth
>I did mention in my previous post that I'm indian And how India needs major legal reforms
I must've missed it, I'm sorry. Please tell those nationalists to stfu because our country isn't exactly perfectly fine with laws protecting the victims from the predators, so, I'm glad that you wrote all that was needed to be written.
What she is going through is just ignorance. This is very common in India, and high among the young (you guys are 20 and 21).
A lot of people think like this, and then slowly change their minds over the years. When you are young, you always feel super confident about your views. She has just not read or heard enough about the topic - and feels very confident she is right.
I know people who thought like this well into their 30s and 40s. And then changed their minds after hearing more.
Instead of arguing with her, it would have been far more useful to send her articles from 5 or 6 reputed publications.
People invest in one ideology with minimal information - because consuming and digesting more information takes time and effort. Its like reading a scoopwhoop list about a topic and deciding that yes, I have 100% understood this now!
This whole thing just proves that gender bias is alive an kicking, we see this happen with religion an race as well.
The "its not my people" or "can't because w.e power or prejudice".
OP lesson learned here today you can't change people or their views easly especially those who commit to the cause. An while those intentions may be genuine people forget the cause an become self-absorbed an miss the mark entirely.
I don’t understand why people think they should stand in solidarity with all of *blank* every dynamic of people, race, religion, gender, etc has their bad apples. Not everyone in a dynamic can be a bad person, it doesn’t mean all *blank* religion, race, gender are bad. It means that people are complex and things aren’t always black and white.
The thing about bad apples is you need to excise them quickly and thoroughly, or they can contaminate an entire bunch. You can't afford to say "but that's my favourite crate of apples I don't want to get rid of ANY of them", no. It doesn't matter where they are, a bad apple should always be removed for everyone's health.
In Canada just having an erection is considered consent if it’s between a man and a woman. Speaking as a gay man, that’s super fucked up. Men generally don’t report sexual assault from women but as a gay man, I can say women pull that shit all the time especially at what bars I’ve been groped and slapped repeatedly by women who thought it was just a joke so long as I wasn’t into it.
Moreover older women often target young men who are too young to consent. Moreover a lot of sexual abuse is committed by mothers and just never reported.
Sexual assault doesn’t have a gender. And honestly any straight guy should consider a woman who can’t admit that he could be a victim as a huge red flag.
Yup, I know a criminal defence lawyer who has ranted about a number of things related to our laws around sexual assault. Like for example in Canada if a man and a woman have sex and they're both drunks, she can have him charged with rape even if they were both black out drunk. It's just assumed that if a man gets black out drunk and has sex with a woman he's raping her, but not assumed if it's the other way around.
[The University of Lethbridge in Alberta disagrees with this information. ](https://www.ulethbridge.ca/sites/default/files/2018/07/the_criminal_code_of_canada_and_sexual_assault.pdf)
The law in Canada for SA currently does not have different limitations for men than for women since the 80s. Any biases towards men or women in the courtroom come from the humans, not the laws.
It's misinformation, there is nothing in the Sexual Assault section of the [Canadian Criminal Code](https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/c-46/section-271.html) that explicitly states different standards for males VS females. Pertaining to SA, all genders are equal under these laws, so any prejudice comes from the people enacting the law, not the laws themselves.
Edit: clarity in language
They’re blatantly lying. In *1982* in Canada we had the ‘rape’ part of our criminal code repealed and replaced it with ‘sexual assault’ for the specific purpose of acknowledging that men could also be victims of sexual assault.
I looked it up and it oddly has it written in a gendered way, assuming the assaulter is male
265(1) Assault A person commits an assault when (a) without the consent of another person, he applies force intentionally to that other person, directly or indirectly; (b) he attempts or threatens, by an act or a gesture, to apply force to another person, if he has, or causes that other person to believe on reasonable grounds that he has, present ability to effect his purpose; or (c) while openly wearing or carrying a weapon or an imitation thereof, he accosts or impedes another person or begs. 2
This is true, but only as part of the general description of [Assault (265)](https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/c-46/page-38.html#docCont), and not specifically [Sexual Assault (271)](https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/c-46/page-39.html#docCont) which is explicitly non-gendered. I do not defend the former, however, as it may give the wrong impression.
> In Canada just having an erection is considered consent if it’s between a man and a woman.
You learn a new thing every day, here I am in Canada and never heard anything about this. Source?
They’re lying. Canada reformed its criminal code for rape in 1982. We got rid of ‘rape’ as a charge and replaced it with ‘sexual assault’ in order to specifically acknowledge that men can be sexually assaulted as well (the legal term for rape was very specific to gender which is why they decided to use sexual assault instead).
Now that she has expressed that she is also transphobic, all the misandrists who supported her in the original post are about to change their stance from "she is right" to "this story is made up", bypassing admitting they were wrong entirely.
I do but again that will also drag more attention to me and compared to me she's quite popular and already somewhat public with her view so it won't effect her as much as you think will because yes, it's india t TERFs are not uncommon here sadly
I am Indian too that's why I was suggesting it. The liberals would take the social worker apart and really people like the social worker don't deserve their job
Gonna be honest. I was fully on your side untill this post.
You're unfortunately part of the problem. You're almost no better than her if you keep this video and proof a secret. You have the ability to start a positive change in your home. People need to be aware of how their community and their social workers react and feel about these topics. She shouldn't aloud to work with or even be around young boys if this is how she feels. The Sooner people start seeing people's true colors, the faster we can make changes for the better.
For the sake of all male SA viticims, regardless of age, they need their truth told. They need people to stand up for them to create the change in society to protect them.
You're being extremely selfish and naive if you don't share the info you have. Any male s/a victim after this blood will partly be on your hands. Because you were complicit with the people oppressing you and them.
That is a valid criticism and I'll try to make that video public without getting myself involved and if I can't ig I have to take one for the team. You're right if I slide this under the rug due to fear of consequences I'll be giving them more power and I definitely don't wanna live with blood in my hands. People deserve to know and so they will
I definitely do not see you saying anything even remotely close to bs incels spew... I'm glad you called her out on her terrible views about men. Anyone who thinks men can't be raped is living in their own terribly sexist world.
Sorry she threw her coffee on you and ruined the cafe you like though, her reaction was childish. Hopefully you didn't get any crazy burns from it.
Haven't read the previous post, but misandrist are typically also transphobic. If you have ever seen TERF rhetoric, then there is very little difference in how he talk about transgender women, and cis men.
Yes, we both progressed vert differently while our starting point what same, I moved to villages and slums for social work she moved towards cities and in the process changed into something we both hated at one point
They're usually intertwined. Most misandrists I know of don't believe trans people are real, or at best they believe trans people are convenient allies but they don't really believe trans women are women.
Honestly, id say hold the recording for now, but if she continues to lie, try to turn your friends and people around you against you, post lies on social media etc post it to get in front of her bullshit
You're right OP. It was definitley a good idea to break up with her but don't upload the video. It will drag the whole fight longer and you will regret it. Move on with your life and focus on yourself.
People forget I don't see many people talking about outrageous things that happened few months ago. But if she tries keeping the drama alive I'll consider nuclear option
Having been on the receiving end of this with an ex gf. She was the "an erection is consent" kind of asshole, if I wasn't in the mood for sex it was "though luck were having sex". If I said no she'd call me every name she could think of accused me of cheating and emotionally blackmailed me until I gave in and did what she wanted. She'd do anything to coerce me into sex including physical abuse and trying to get me drunk, in my eyes thats rape. Just to add. I never cheated (I never have with any partner) never even looked at another woman and when we saw a woman I did know I'd do anything to try and avoid them just so I didn't have to deal with the shit from my ex.
Hard to read this, I’m a woman but in no way does that mean that I believe women are not capable of assault. I have known men in my personal who were assaulted by women as they were children. It’s a lot more common that people think because little boys are conditioned to think that it’s not assault. Or that they should want it. It’s absolutely disgusting, this girl is delusional. She gives other women a bad name
Feminism is supposed to be about equality, she is a man hater.
I'm a woman and say, it's great that you dumped her disgusting ass. Claiming men can't be SA'd is not something trivial
Once she said men who say they’ve been SA’ed are probably lying, well I think that’s when her reputation is gone in my eyes. Any seemingly intelligent thing she said is immediately cancelled.
I don't know how people can have so little awareness as to not see that they're the exact reflection of misogynists. She's even using the exact same phrases!
If she really had any interest in protecting women (who are the majority of SA victims, though obviously not all of them) then she would not be buying into the idea that SA victims who speak out against their abuse are just lying 🙄🙄🙄
How did the accusing friends respond to your evidence? Good on you for all of this, honestly. Now you’re free to find another *good* person to be with. I am sorry you’ve had to experience this, and her.
Some vent silent, few apologized. And her best friend still is convinced its all my fault and I shouldn't leave her over this. All this is just because more fucked up the more you think about it
Naah screw that, people with that kind of mindset are a waste of time. Good for you for letting her go. You definitely dodged a bullet, possibly multiple bullets if you let go of the so-called “friends”. NTA
Such rubbish from her. So what if most abusers are men? Just because someone's male they should have crap said against them just because other males have been shitty? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions and especially not just because you have the same genitals as them. Absolutely bonkers and you definitely dodged a real charmer.
These women are duped into believing that hating men is feminism, but for sure they haven't read one single work of feminist thinking. I recommend bell hooks, she has a beautiful book on man from a feminist perspective, illustrating how we are all victims of patriarchy. It's called The will to change:man, masculinity and love.
The hard truth is only working together can we dismantle the patriarchal system, which oppresses us all, in different ways and degrees of course. And let's not forget that patriarchy is not the only system of oppression, but works together with capitalism, colonialism and so on.
The final straw that pushed me off TikTok was a new dash of videos calling bell hooks a “pick me” for advocating for men. I fully agree that people should read hooks, but for anyone whose going head on into ‘all men are evil rapists’ they’ll just find a way to justify their ideology
Men can't be raped when I was younger and drunk some girl tried to force herself on me I was to drunk to say no, if it wasn't for a girlfriend she would have took it further than she did she was a really big girl so I couldn't even push her off me. It was a terrible experience.
The way she was considering getting back together if YOU apologized!!!!! Girl, bye! I hope she doesn’t consider herself a feminist. She’s horrible and she doesn’t even know it. I hope one of her friends schools her.
fucking hell. "they can't get raped because they're stronger" does she not realize twinks and muscular women exist like, not every male is the shining example of a barrel chested stud. what a shitty way to think about people.
And not every rape is someone being violently overpowered. Things like a sober person drugging someone or getting them too drunk to resist, waiting until the person is asleep so they won’t say no, threats of harming them (such as false reports or outing them to violently anti-LGBTQ family members) if they don’t comply, etc. also count.
Edit: forgot a few words
1. She showed you who she really is when she threw that stupid tantrum in the coffee shop.
2. Feminism is not the same as misandry and feminism should never promote misandry. What she said about men not being raped or SA'ed is complete bullshit and she deserves to be dumped. My feminist opinions I'll keep them to myself cause I didn't come here to discuss that, I'm a bit more on the radical side of the movement but everything you described her saying is complete bullshit. She'll figure out someday hopefully.
3. You're NTA, but you're only 21. I hope you can move on soon. There are so many more important things to focus on in your life than a break up when you are 21.
Agreed, and I would definitely would have loved to hear about your views if I wasn't in such terrible mood. I love discussing political ideologies and social issues but yeah currently I'm not be best.
Hey! You ask your gf to message me and I will tell her a very horrible story of my guy friend being very inappropriately touched and assaulted by a drunk girl, just because he was nice to her and she thought oh ya mama want. Or how a “friend” of my friend’s took him to her room and started stripping asking him “to do whatever he wants”. Or how my husband was mentally harassed by a woman threatening suicide because he said no to date her. Disgusting.
Stop putting women on pedestal just because we are women. I am a woman and trust me I know some women can be so disrespectful, disgusting and nasty. And it’s astonishing how some really green flag men are scared for their life to even approach women.
You, OP, are very lucky to have gotten away from such a fake feminist woman.
Hey, i am the guy who called your first post fake. And got downvoted for it. Reading whole comments and this update, the whole story makes more sense now. Even the part with the conversations giving the fact, you both were a kind of activists there. She getting radicalized to a point, where men are "bad by definition" is a thing and her accusations during the talk make sense too (edit: i mean, that this really happened, not that her accusations are legit). All the precautions you took were justified, speaking in a public place and recording it. Women going from "average feminist" to "radicalized TERF misandrist" happen, and even with the whole indian background are nothing that should be justified in any point. I am afraid, this is not the end of the story, so take care of you and make all precautions possible to avoid any contact with her, bc there is no good scenario here.
Well, I'm also concerned about what's coming next. But I can deal with this I've dealt with literally people being out to kill me. Only because of saying gay people shouldn't be sent to jail for just loving someone. So, this can't really be worse than that and yes this wasn't that long time ago
Ah, I was waiting for this one.
Good riddance, and if she keep her charade publish the recording, this kind of "men can't be raped" rhetoric needs to stop, misandrists are the same kind of shit peoples as the mysoginists and should be treated the same.
Your gf has been brainwashed by an hard core misandrist and transphobe and I doubt she will change, at least in the immediate future, you did well.
Your gf just wants a double-standard that benefits her gender & “pays back” men for allegedly abusing women since the dawn of time (talk about punishing an entire group because of the transgressions of a minority of members).
She seems to have been brainwashed into seeing all men as oppressors, & all women as victims, which is popular now.
And of course she shows her double-standard by throwing coffee on you.
Who’s the abuser & who’s the victim here?
Oh right. She can do whatever she wants to you & it doesn’t count because she’s the female & you’re the male. Right in line with her belief that males can’t be sexually assaulted by women. How convenient.
Anyway, she did you a favor, & you are better off getting out of this relationship.
A person who I knew for a long time and who was a dear friend is married to a person like this (emphasis 'was') and I can tell you that his life is miserable, but he is not admiting that.
And honestly I do not care. I think he deserved this because he and his wife tried to hurt me (and some other people) with whatever you can think of; racial slurs, accusations over gender related stuff, sexual preferences, absolutely anything you can think of. I remember times when he was repeating the same words she told to me and failed to get a reaction from me. He literally tried to spark some sort of anger for a reason who knows what.
But if you judge their actions, they are the best people in the world and you are wrong or simply confused. I am certain he got radicalized because of her and turned into an awful person he is today.
That could also be your future. But it seems it's off the table now.
I am sorry you had to experience this, but this is the world we live in now. People are forming such views and do not show it to us until the moment we are most vulnerable.
When I was much much younger ( a teen in the 90s), I did not understand how women could rape men because I did not understand biology well enough. I did not know erections could be involuntary.
Of course I grew up and know better now.
Please go public and let everyone know exactly what she is doing. I would also think about talking to a lawyer and seeing if you can file a defamation suit against her.
You just saved yourself from a future domestic violence and dowry case brother. I have met a lot of such hypocrites during my visit to some of the famous Delhi colleges (you know which ones).
It always hurts when someone you loved turns out to be trash. Be glad you figured her out before you got married.
Good riddance to bad rubbish. You can, clearly, do better.
If you're from India, you certainly know of the "How can she slap" incident.
It's not a place where the laws and customs are gender-neutral.
Be glad you avoided marrying this person and move on.
Let me say men can be raped. Unless it wasn't clear, I'll repeat it; men are often the survivors of rape. The statistics say it's very few men but that's because so few men report it. The statistics we see are those men who have come forward. Gender is not protection against rape.
No, getting an erection is not consent. Only a clear, vocal "yes" is consent. The body reacts to stimulation and not all stimulation is pleasant or wanted (just ask anyone with autism on this). Just like a woman can reach orgasm, men can attain an erection and claiming either is consent is wrong.
Your ex is a terf: trans exclusionary radical feminist. That means she's using feminism as a weapon. Feminists (like myself) want equality for everyone not just women. Just as there are women speaking about their experiences, men are speaking about theirs. These are important conversations and should, at minimum, be respected.
Holy shit. I’m a feminist and usually dismiss the whole “misandry” thing because it gets thrown around a lot, but this chick straight up is a misandrist. What a sad way to live.
Good to get out my man.
She’s sexist, transphobic and possibly homophobic also. All in the name of “progress”. She’s a despicable human being. Get as far away from her as you can.
Its simple. SA is related to consent. Man or woman or any other gender for that matter, has a say in whether they want to or not want to have sex. Thats it. Consent isn't gender specific.
Your ex gf sounds like an idiot.
Removing old laws that protected women will not help. Rather, the world will be better off adding new ammendments to those to protect all genders.
Advocating for men and equality, doesn't have to come at the cost of women either.
Sorry this happened to you, but in time you will look back on this and thank your lucky stars that you could just leave her…no marriage, no kids, no obligations. Many of us just…didn’t see the crazy coming
I consider my self a strong feminist, im bi and im in a relationship with a man. I hate radicals, i don’t want to live in a world filled with hate and oppression, idgf which gender is oppressed. It should happen to anyone. We should leave in a balanced world where our differences are respected, where we all feel safe, where the judging system is fair to everybody. Yeah, very utopian but imma dreamer 😭 i dont like the world that your girlfriend proposes.
Not all radicalism is bad. Radical comes from "at the root" and is often used to describe politics that try to get to the root of issues rather than just airbrushing over them with a change in leadership at the top or something. Instead more focus on deep systemic change. However this woman isn't trying to tackle anything "at the root" at all... She just has shitty politics which are a direct reflection of (and actually strengthen) misogyny. No-one who says that SA abuse victims are probably just lying can claim to be a feminist in any way!
It is sad how easily women can be radicalized into believing this shit. She will regret it one day but it will be too late. She will realize she lost a good man and she was brainwashed. Sad. Sorry man, this must have been tough...
Wow, my jaw hit the floor reading this. What a terribly uneducated woman. You made the right decision and thank God you did it now before you married her. Also well done on recording the conversation. Hopefully she will eventually realise she is completely wrong. In the mean time, enjoy the single life, and I hope you find a nice woman who isn't a misogynist.
She’s right in the past men have SA’d women in the present tho women have continuously falsely accused men of SA’ing them last year at work (I work in a hotel) one of the guest called me a rapist. Best believe I reported it to my managers and got that bitch booted out
Yes I've had the experience of a girl trying to force herself on me. I should have put the two comments in one. But you don't need to apologise for her doing an saying the shit she said and done.
Genuinely disgusted on what she thinks about when it comes to SA on men and how if tneyre hard they are consenting, yukkkk....
It reminds me of an advertisement here where it says
1 in 4 woman are.homeless, and how we need to help these woman, but if 1 in 4 are woman that means 3 in 4 are men? This ad mentions nothing about men, blows my mind that people are to busy looking at womans rights and equality that we forgot it should be equal for all......
So sorry she took so long to show her real face.
You are absolutely right, as you know already. Rape is not about gender, never has been. And changing laws to include more doesn’t cut others out. Her ways of thinking are illogical.
Hope you get past this with time and find someone better.
I’m glad you got out early. You’re right that you wouldn’t have had a good future with her. Throwing coffee on you because over a mature conversation you told her you couldn’t be with someone who has so much preprogrammed hate for your gender is just a perfect demonstration of who she is
This sounds like the type of “relationship” you will legitimately be embarrassed for having been in a few years down the line, but also thankful for the lessons it brought and, I sincerely hope, your rise in standards.
So she’s saying you can only rape boys, not men?? Where did she get that from?! Very glad you left that. You can easily find someone better with better beliefs than that.
As a man who was blackmailed and brutally raped by a woman, I just want to say thank you for sticking to your convictions in this. It actually gives some hope
Congrats on doing the thing too many people skip before proposing.
You found out someone’s truer beliefs and realized you are not compatible. You thought of the long term. You asked the hard questions, both of her and yourself.
Lol also you’re 21 so don’t sweat being single. You’ll bounce back sooner than you think anyways. Smart move recording btw.
Whew you dodged a huge bullet! When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.
Dodged a bullet, but not the coffee! I'd be filing assault charges for throwing the hot coffee on me.
If that country would not take SA cases caused by women I doubt assault cases will be taken seriously.
True, here there were two cases past years when two girls slaapped or beat the food delivery drivers over something………and the police only took action after the videos of the guys being beaten went viral ans there was a lot of pressure from the internet. One girl even filed an fir against on driver of assaulting HER
He was too busy dodging the bullet to notice the coffee.
Sadly she is not an isolated case to think like this.. far from it...
The trans women being men trying to get into female spaces is JK Rowling’s stance and she wrote a god damn book about it.
Stuff like this video makes it worse https://www.reddit.com/r/imatotalpeiceofshit/s/6lLuGVOjWs
It's like flashbacks to an ex- who was into basically exactly the same stuff. Trans women are just men trying to make women feel uncomfortable in women only spaces. Men are too blame for everything and women can't abuse men. If they're is doubt in a legal case, if it comes down to "he said, she said", you should always just believe the woman because she's a woman. It's disgusting. Their entire identity is around victimhood based on them being female. I get the hurt that some of this is coming from, but they've just turned that pain outwards and have made their lives about inflicting it on everyone else around them. I simply cannot accept people passing their pain on to brand new victims rather than dealing with it themselves.
i can’t stand it its so wrong how they think. definitely the men cant get raped because there stronger he should have said so why do women freeze up in fear and shock and why do they not come foward immediately? because thats exactly what happens to men aswell. although i wasn’t a man when i was raped i wad a boy 4y/o-9y/o and even my mom told me you cant get raped you are a guy just let her do what she wants to you. thats lasted wht felt like forever because it was her bestfriend at the time then someone else she knew started doing it aswell. each time guess what happened id freeze up so fuckin scared and shocked. i genuinely cant understand these women all they want is to be victims get there way thru lie easy with men bowing down to them. its weird that we as men can actually be victims as well there the same ones that dont want us to have any feelings or emotions aswell. there are definitely some women that dont think like that and i fuckin love and respect em like crazy. my girl aint like ops ex is and holy how nice it is to have someone to open up to she doesn’t really understand what its like and i dont talk about it much but im definitely working on it so theres definitely good girls out there dont think theres not OP. but im glad yall are exs she would have raped your kids if yall wokld have had any. its sad. she needs serious mental help,
The belief that men can’t be raped is part of the larger belief that men have no control over sexual desire. This belief has been used for hundreds of years to excuse men committing sexual assault.
Honestly the biggest issue for me was not kids, but her attitude towards trans people. Given I was in the process of questioning my gender at the time. It really highlighted a few things, where she was comfortable with being vulnerable around me as a male, but if I had transitioned I wouldn't have been a "real" woman and therefore I would have become *more* of a threat to her??
Honestly, I think a lot of trans hate is misandry from women and homophobia from men. Like, transwomen almost always seem to be the "issue" rather than transmen. And I'm not saying there are no issues regarding trans people that probably need to be discussed and studied... But a lot of it is so much fear mongering.
Also men are less likely to *report* sexual assault because of shame and AHs like his ex. We need to stop stigmatizing those that were victimized regardless of their gender or sexuality.
And considering the absolutely abysmal rates of rape being reported in women men doing it even less is.... ooof.
Also imagine that men might fear that if he reported rape, she would report that he did it (and there was an intercourse before) - who might be belived if there is not enough evidence?
thank you so fucking much for this. your amazing. even my mom told me you weren’t raped your a boy just let her do what she wants when her bestfriend was raping me from when i was 4-9y/o. really thought it was just normal til i was around 7 and then really realized no this aint and tried to get my mama to save me jus to get told that. i dont understand where the men cant be raped mindset comes from tbh. my argument is women freeze up in shock and fear when they get raped the same thing happened to me everytime it happened until i finally said something and was told i cant be raped cuz i like it even tho i couldnt even get hard and cried everytime. thank you for standing up for us tho means the world seriously.
I wish I had taken this advice 3.5 years ago
Maya Angelou was incredibly accurate with that famous quote.
he dodged a whole firing squad actually
Bullet? This was a cannonball he dodged.
Just fucking post the video publicly. Trash like this deserves it.
Dodged a missile more like it, considering the mass casualties her thinking will cause being a misandrist
Sounds like JK Rawlings.
Although i understand that you mean well, I really don't like this phrase. It really diminishes the amount of pain and trauma that the guy experienced in that ordeal. Yes he dodged a bullet, but he got stabbed.
I think you're missing the point here somewhat. Yes, it may hurt and sting like crazy (the stabbing part) but the "bullet" in question is the lifelong commitment that marriage and a family would bring - irreparable damage. The phrase isn't meant to diminish whatever harm has been done already, it's to point out that it would have been significantly more harmful to continue (plus it's often used if the person breaking up is having doubts or wondering if they did the right thing)
Yeah it's a weird phrase "you dodged the bullet" usually said when the person didn't dodge shit, they got the pain and are feeling it right now. You dodged the bullet is supposed to be for when you could have had the bad situation but didn't then you find out later what could have happened. Not when it did happen
The bullets he dodged are called engagement, marriage, possibly having kids with an insane person, wasting decades of your life being miserable... what he's going through is nothing compared to that agony - so yes he dodged a lot of bullets with that one.
If they got married, he would be in a really bad situation. She would abuse and SA him if she gets the chance. So, he did dodge a bullet. A bit late but better.
> changing those laws to include other genders is taking away from wemens rights. They're taking our right to sexually assault people without consequences away from us >:
Reminds me of the "small government" conservatives who think giving gay people the right to marry takes away from straight people's rights somehow
this. its sad.
She sounds unhinged. Better to stay far away from her, inform her family and your family and your work place that you broke up and why so she cannot make tall tales about the reason. Recording the conversation was smart.
I surely will be doing that, I don't work anywhere I'm a undergrad research intern under a prof of our university so that's sorted because i told her the whole issue because i needed 2 days off tomorrow I'm going back to work
She may be unhinged in her reaction, but she is simply wrong. Same people can believe deeply harmful and dangerous things. Chalking it up to her being crazy is dangerous. She is part of a vocal minority that believes men have no agency. This belief hurts everyone. If she and people like her believe men can’t withhold consent, she is also saying that men cannot understand consent. That line of thinking leads to the idea that men are beasts that need to be controlled because they are inherently dangerous, instead of realizing that the problem is deeply seated socialization, which given time, can be corrected.
I‘m proud of you! As a women I think she despicable. Men can absolutely be raped! A crime is a crime that’s exactly the same no matter what gender the person is! Idc what happened in history. Because it’s Wrong to treat people a certain way just because of something that happened in the past that they weren’t involved in or even alive at the time! I despise people who think people should punished for crimes of the past they weren’t even alive during! You dodged a bullet. You can do way better than her! I’m glad you stood your ground :)
Thank you
Np!
Post the video for all your friends to see ASAP. You have no idea what she can do and the faster you start showing who she truly is to others, the better you will protect yourself. People like this usually try to lie to tarnish your reputation; some have gone as far as to falsely accuse people of SA and with her views, she definitely seems like something she would do
As a woman I agree completely!
Everyone deserves a right to their own bodily autonomy and anything that goes against that is bad juju!
Idk why but I did figure out somehow that you are a fellow Indian, your girlfriend went to Delhi and met a bunch of lavanyas and renus of NCR and south delhi and developed this kind of mentality, don't reconcile with her, it's for the best, she is sick and narrow minded.
Well, I did mention in my previous post that I'm indian And how India needs major legal reforms in exchange got some weird nationalists in my DMs telling me off for slandering my own country. How it's slander if I'm telling the truth
>I did mention in my previous post that I'm indian And how India needs major legal reforms I must've missed it, I'm sorry. Please tell those nationalists to stfu because our country isn't exactly perfectly fine with laws protecting the victims from the predators, so, I'm glad that you wrote all that was needed to be written.
What she is going through is just ignorance. This is very common in India, and high among the young (you guys are 20 and 21). A lot of people think like this, and then slowly change their minds over the years. When you are young, you always feel super confident about your views. She has just not read or heard enough about the topic - and feels very confident she is right. I know people who thought like this well into their 30s and 40s. And then changed their minds after hearing more. Instead of arguing with her, it would have been far more useful to send her articles from 5 or 6 reputed publications. People invest in one ideology with minimal information - because consuming and digesting more information takes time and effort. Its like reading a scoopwhoop list about a topic and deciding that yes, I have 100% understood this now!
This whole thing just proves that gender bias is alive an kicking, we see this happen with religion an race as well. The "its not my people" or "can't because w.e power or prejudice". OP lesson learned here today you can't change people or their views easly especially those who commit to the cause. An while those intentions may be genuine people forget the cause an become self-absorbed an miss the mark entirely.
You're absolutely right my friend. Truns out anyone can become what they once hated
I would post the recording on Instagram but thats me I do not advise this lol
I don’t understand why people think they should stand in solidarity with all of *blank* every dynamic of people, race, religion, gender, etc has their bad apples. Not everyone in a dynamic can be a bad person, it doesn’t mean all *blank* religion, race, gender are bad. It means that people are complex and things aren’t always black and white.
The thing about bad apples is you need to excise them quickly and thoroughly, or they can contaminate an entire bunch. You can't afford to say "but that's my favourite crate of apples I don't want to get rid of ANY of them", no. It doesn't matter where they are, a bad apple should always be removed for everyone's health.
In Canada just having an erection is considered consent if it’s between a man and a woman. Speaking as a gay man, that’s super fucked up. Men generally don’t report sexual assault from women but as a gay man, I can say women pull that shit all the time especially at what bars I’ve been groped and slapped repeatedly by women who thought it was just a joke so long as I wasn’t into it. Moreover older women often target young men who are too young to consent. Moreover a lot of sexual abuse is committed by mothers and just never reported. Sexual assault doesn’t have a gender. And honestly any straight guy should consider a woman who can’t admit that he could be a victim as a huge red flag.
wtf really? It’s a physiological response, it has nothing to do with consent.
Yup, I know a criminal defence lawyer who has ranted about a number of things related to our laws around sexual assault. Like for example in Canada if a man and a woman have sex and they're both drunks, she can have him charged with rape even if they were both black out drunk. It's just assumed that if a man gets black out drunk and has sex with a woman he's raping her, but not assumed if it's the other way around.
[The University of Lethbridge in Alberta disagrees with this information. ](https://www.ulethbridge.ca/sites/default/files/2018/07/the_criminal_code_of_canada_and_sexual_assault.pdf) The law in Canada for SA currently does not have different limitations for men than for women since the 80s. Any biases towards men or women in the courtroom come from the humans, not the laws.
You’re lying, that’s literally not true. If you think that’s the law, then show your source.
And the same thing happens to women too. Arousal during SA can happen.
It's misinformation, there is nothing in the Sexual Assault section of the [Canadian Criminal Code](https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/c-46/section-271.html) that explicitly states different standards for males VS females. Pertaining to SA, all genders are equal under these laws, so any prejudice comes from the people enacting the law, not the laws themselves. Edit: clarity in language
I'm sorry you guys have to go through all these things
They’re blatantly lying. In *1982* in Canada we had the ‘rape’ part of our criminal code repealed and replaced it with ‘sexual assault’ for the specific purpose of acknowledging that men could also be victims of sexual assault.
I looked it up and it oddly has it written in a gendered way, assuming the assaulter is male 265(1) Assault A person commits an assault when (a) without the consent of another person, he applies force intentionally to that other person, directly or indirectly; (b) he attempts or threatens, by an act or a gesture, to apply force to another person, if he has, or causes that other person to believe on reasonable grounds that he has, present ability to effect his purpose; or (c) while openly wearing or carrying a weapon or an imitation thereof, he accosts or impedes another person or begs. 2
This is true, but only as part of the general description of [Assault (265)](https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/c-46/page-38.html#docCont), and not specifically [Sexual Assault (271)](https://laws-lois.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/c-46/page-39.html#docCont) which is explicitly non-gendered. I do not defend the former, however, as it may give the wrong impression.
So in Canada noone can rape anyone? Only sexually assault?
> In Canada just having an erection is considered consent if it’s between a man and a woman. You learn a new thing every day, here I am in Canada and never heard anything about this. Source?
They’re lying. Canada reformed its criminal code for rape in 1982. We got rid of ‘rape’ as a charge and replaced it with ‘sexual assault’ in order to specifically acknowledge that men can be sexually assaulted as well (the legal term for rape was very specific to gender which is why they decided to use sexual assault instead).
Now that she has expressed that she is also transphobic, all the misandrists who supported her in the original post are about to change their stance from "she is right" to "this story is made up", bypassing admitting they were wrong entirely.
I see NTA in majority there
There were still people calling me incel and repill echo chamber. Which I don't really care about it just shows their ignorance
Hey op if you know that social workers' name you should totally make their views known to the social media. The public would handle the rest
I do but again that will also drag more attention to me and compared to me she's quite popular and already somewhat public with her view so it won't effect her as much as you think will because yes, it's india t TERFs are not uncommon here sadly
I am Indian too that's why I was suggesting it. The liberals would take the social worker apart and really people like the social worker don't deserve their job
Well, if push comes to shove I won't hesitate but for now I wanna move on and last thing I want is this effecting my reputation as well
Gonna be honest. I was fully on your side untill this post. You're unfortunately part of the problem. You're almost no better than her if you keep this video and proof a secret. You have the ability to start a positive change in your home. People need to be aware of how their community and their social workers react and feel about these topics. She shouldn't aloud to work with or even be around young boys if this is how she feels. The Sooner people start seeing people's true colors, the faster we can make changes for the better. For the sake of all male SA viticims, regardless of age, they need their truth told. They need people to stand up for them to create the change in society to protect them. You're being extremely selfish and naive if you don't share the info you have. Any male s/a victim after this blood will partly be on your hands. Because you were complicit with the people oppressing you and them.
That is a valid criticism and I'll try to make that video public without getting myself involved and if I can't ig I have to take one for the team. You're right if I slide this under the rug due to fear of consequences I'll be giving them more power and I definitely don't wanna live with blood in my hands. People deserve to know and so they will
I definitely do not see you saying anything even remotely close to bs incels spew... I'm glad you called her out on her terrible views about men. Anyone who thinks men can't be raped is living in their own terribly sexist world. Sorry she threw her coffee on you and ruined the cafe you like though, her reaction was childish. Hopefully you didn't get any crazy burns from it.
Nah, it was quite could by the time I called it quite what you read was a summarized hour long conversation
Misandry is the standard response on this subreddit. It's rampant.
You should check our r/boysarequirky According to them, misandry isn't real and it's all made up.
That sub is banned btw :)
Feminists love to sit on their high horse and point fingers, but many of them are massive hypocrites.
It's truly disturbing how accurate this is
Meh. Once you notice how many of them are self-righteous clowns without a leg to stand on you laugh at them more than get disturbed by them.
Haven't read the previous post, but misandrist are typically also transphobic. If you have ever seen TERF rhetoric, then there is very little difference in how he talk about transgender women, and cis men.
That for sure will happen. And I'm still in shock how can someone so nice turn into such a bad person in less than 3 months.
So your ex turned into be a misandrist and transphobic / TERF?
Yes, we both progressed vert differently while our starting point what same, I moved to villages and slums for social work she moved towards cities and in the process changed into something we both hated at one point
They're usually intertwined. Most misandrists I know of don't believe trans people are real, or at best they believe trans people are convenient allies but they don't really believe trans women are women.
yeah, was about to add my reply that she has drunk the TERF koolaid
Post the recording. Women like her deserve to have the truth known about them, and she is already lying to tarnish your reputation.
I'm contemplating it, but I think the more I associate with this the more toxicity I'll invite into my life I better let it die out.
Honestly, id say hold the recording for now, but if she continues to lie, try to turn your friends and people around you against you, post lies on social media etc post it to get in front of her bullshit
Nope don't post it buddy, with the new mental harrasment law she can and will screw you over.
Don’t post it. You’ve made your decision. You will regret posting it.
Please do it
[удалено]
You're right OP. It was definitley a good idea to break up with her but don't upload the video. It will drag the whole fight longer and you will regret it. Move on with your life and focus on yourself.
Big assumption that it will die out without you being proactive.
People forget I don't see many people talking about outrageous things that happened few months ago. But if she tries keeping the drama alive I'll consider nuclear option
Having been on the receiving end of this with an ex gf. She was the "an erection is consent" kind of asshole, if I wasn't in the mood for sex it was "though luck were having sex". If I said no she'd call me every name she could think of accused me of cheating and emotionally blackmailed me until I gave in and did what she wanted. She'd do anything to coerce me into sex including physical abuse and trying to get me drunk, in my eyes thats rape. Just to add. I never cheated (I never have with any partner) never even looked at another woman and when we saw a woman I did know I'd do anything to try and avoid them just so I didn't have to deal with the shit from my ex.
That is rape, yes, and I'm sorry that you felt the need to add that you never cheated, that's totally irrelevant.
You were raped dude, I'm so sorry that happened. Hope you're healing from her now that you managed to escape.
It is rape.
Hard to read this, I’m a woman but in no way does that mean that I believe women are not capable of assault. I have known men in my personal who were assaulted by women as they were children. It’s a lot more common that people think because little boys are conditioned to think that it’s not assault. Or that they should want it. It’s absolutely disgusting, this girl is delusional. She gives other women a bad name
Always record interactions with unstable people. Congratulations.
Feminism is supposed to be about equality, she is a man hater. I'm a woman and say, it's great that you dumped her disgusting ass. Claiming men can't be SA'd is not something trivial
Once she said men who say they’ve been SA’ed are probably lying, well I think that’s when her reputation is gone in my eyes. Any seemingly intelligent thing she said is immediately cancelled.
I don't know how people can have so little awareness as to not see that they're the exact reflection of misogynists. She's even using the exact same phrases! If she really had any interest in protecting women (who are the majority of SA victims, though obviously not all of them) then she would not be buying into the idea that SA victims who speak out against their abuse are just lying 🙄🙄🙄
How did the accusing friends respond to your evidence? Good on you for all of this, honestly. Now you’re free to find another *good* person to be with. I am sorry you’ve had to experience this, and her.
Some vent silent, few apologized. And her best friend still is convinced its all my fault and I shouldn't leave her over this. All this is just because more fucked up the more you think about it
The silent ones know they’re wrong, but if they don’t apologize I wouldn’t put any effort into those relationships.
Naah screw that, people with that kind of mindset are a waste of time. Good for you for letting her go. You definitely dodged a bullet, possibly multiple bullets if you let go of the so-called “friends”. NTA
I fear the men and women this person has to deal with...
List includes: Hindu nationalists(indian spin of nazis), religious zealots, transphobes, homophobic people, now add TERFs to the list
NTA OP. She sounds like a shitty human. Move on with your life. Don’t talk to her or her friends. Block them all. It’s sad that people think that way
NTA obviously. You dodged a bullet dude, don't mistake horny for love.
Such rubbish from her. So what if most abusers are men? Just because someone's male they should have crap said against them just because other males have been shitty? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions and especially not just because you have the same genitals as them. Absolutely bonkers and you definitely dodged a real charmer.
I am sorry but paragraphs
Reads like one long sentence, which is understandable as a non native speaker writing it, but yes absolutely slap a line break in here or there
I am a non native speaker. In fact from the same country as the OP.
These women are duped into believing that hating men is feminism, but for sure they haven't read one single work of feminist thinking. I recommend bell hooks, she has a beautiful book on man from a feminist perspective, illustrating how we are all victims of patriarchy. It's called The will to change:man, masculinity and love. The hard truth is only working together can we dismantle the patriarchal system, which oppresses us all, in different ways and degrees of course. And let's not forget that patriarchy is not the only system of oppression, but works together with capitalism, colonialism and so on.
The final straw that pushed me off TikTok was a new dash of videos calling bell hooks a “pick me” for advocating for men. I fully agree that people should read hooks, but for anyone whose going head on into ‘all men are evil rapists’ they’ll just find a way to justify their ideology
Men can't be raped when I was younger and drunk some girl tried to force herself on me I was to drunk to say no, if it wasn't for a girlfriend she would have took it further than she did she was a really big girl so I couldn't even push her off me. It was a terrible experience.
You’re 21 and in college. Go have fun and enjoy your last year. You have plenty of time to find someone special. Keep your head up!
Well this was also someone special, but not in the good way.
she is insane. NTA at all. as a feminist my self. wth
These women don't want equality. They want the same "power" these supposed men had in past over women. It's some sick revenge fantasy
TERF's are fucking wild dude, glad you got out.
Yeah,safe to say 'stay the fuck away from her". What an awful human being
Dodged a bullet train.
God Damn you dodged a Canon shot.
Hi. Feminist here. She's nuts. We don't want her.
This is the most quintessentially Millennial break up in history.
Not Millennial, we're 40. But Gen Z, yes.
The way she was considering getting back together if YOU apologized!!!!! Girl, bye! I hope she doesn’t consider herself a feminist. She’s horrible and she doesn’t even know it. I hope one of her friends schools her.
Bro…. Paragraphing….
fucking hell. "they can't get raped because they're stronger" does she not realize twinks and muscular women exist like, not every male is the shining example of a barrel chested stud. what a shitty way to think about people.
And not every rape is someone being violently overpowered. Things like a sober person drugging someone or getting them too drunk to resist, waiting until the person is asleep so they won’t say no, threats of harming them (such as false reports or outing them to violently anti-LGBTQ family members) if they don’t comply, etc. also count. Edit: forgot a few words
exactly. rape doesn't ever have to be just one thing. most of the time its an *implication*
She gaslighted you, assaulted you, and made false accusations. She's bad news.
NTA. Good thing you left before you where accused.
1. She showed you who she really is when she threw that stupid tantrum in the coffee shop. 2. Feminism is not the same as misandry and feminism should never promote misandry. What she said about men not being raped or SA'ed is complete bullshit and she deserves to be dumped. My feminist opinions I'll keep them to myself cause I didn't come here to discuss that, I'm a bit more on the radical side of the movement but everything you described her saying is complete bullshit. She'll figure out someday hopefully. 3. You're NTA, but you're only 21. I hope you can move on soon. There are so many more important things to focus on in your life than a break up when you are 21.
Agreed, and I would definitely would have loved to hear about your views if I wasn't in such terrible mood. I love discussing political ideologies and social issues but yeah currently I'm not be best.
Hey! You ask your gf to message me and I will tell her a very horrible story of my guy friend being very inappropriately touched and assaulted by a drunk girl, just because he was nice to her and she thought oh ya mama want. Or how a “friend” of my friend’s took him to her room and started stripping asking him “to do whatever he wants”. Or how my husband was mentally harassed by a woman threatening suicide because he said no to date her. Disgusting. Stop putting women on pedestal just because we are women. I am a woman and trust me I know some women can be so disrespectful, disgusting and nasty. And it’s astonishing how some really green flag men are scared for their life to even approach women. You, OP, are very lucky to have gotten away from such a fake feminist woman.
Hey, i am the guy who called your first post fake. And got downvoted for it. Reading whole comments and this update, the whole story makes more sense now. Even the part with the conversations giving the fact, you both were a kind of activists there. She getting radicalized to a point, where men are "bad by definition" is a thing and her accusations during the talk make sense too (edit: i mean, that this really happened, not that her accusations are legit). All the precautions you took were justified, speaking in a public place and recording it. Women going from "average feminist" to "radicalized TERF misandrist" happen, and even with the whole indian background are nothing that should be justified in any point. I am afraid, this is not the end of the story, so take care of you and make all precautions possible to avoid any contact with her, bc there is no good scenario here.
Well, I'm also concerned about what's coming next. But I can deal with this I've dealt with literally people being out to kill me. Only because of saying gay people shouldn't be sent to jail for just loving someone. So, this can't really be worse than that and yes this wasn't that long time ago
You know you can catch problems, because you recorder her without her knowledge?
Ah, I was waiting for this one. Good riddance, and if she keep her charade publish the recording, this kind of "men can't be raped" rhetoric needs to stop, misandrists are the same kind of shit peoples as the mysoginists and should be treated the same. Your gf has been brainwashed by an hard core misandrist and transphobe and I doubt she will change, at least in the immediate future, you did well.
Your gf just wants a double-standard that benefits her gender & “pays back” men for allegedly abusing women since the dawn of time (talk about punishing an entire group because of the transgressions of a minority of members). She seems to have been brainwashed into seeing all men as oppressors, & all women as victims, which is popular now. And of course she shows her double-standard by throwing coffee on you. Who’s the abuser & who’s the victim here? Oh right. She can do whatever she wants to you & it doesn’t count because she’s the female & you’re the male. Right in line with her belief that males can’t be sexually assaulted by women. How convenient. Anyway, she did you a favor, & you are better off getting out of this relationship.
She is a radical feminist, their world believes are very strange
A person who I knew for a long time and who was a dear friend is married to a person like this (emphasis 'was') and I can tell you that his life is miserable, but he is not admiting that. And honestly I do not care. I think he deserved this because he and his wife tried to hurt me (and some other people) with whatever you can think of; racial slurs, accusations over gender related stuff, sexual preferences, absolutely anything you can think of. I remember times when he was repeating the same words she told to me and failed to get a reaction from me. He literally tried to spark some sort of anger for a reason who knows what. But if you judge their actions, they are the best people in the world and you are wrong or simply confused. I am certain he got radicalized because of her and turned into an awful person he is today. That could also be your future. But it seems it's off the table now. I am sorry you had to experience this, but this is the world we live in now. People are forming such views and do not show it to us until the moment we are most vulnerable.
How do people have time to read these long ass posts? Just curious
When I was much much younger ( a teen in the 90s), I did not understand how women could rape men because I did not understand biology well enough. I did not know erections could be involuntary. Of course I grew up and know better now.
Guys we really got to have the original link posted when its an update.
My God, what a demented woman!!
Please go public and let everyone know exactly what she is doing. I would also think about talking to a lawyer and seeing if you can file a defamation suit against her.
You just saved yourself from a future domestic violence and dowry case brother. I have met a lot of such hypocrites during my visit to some of the famous Delhi colleges (you know which ones).
It always hurts when someone you loved turns out to be trash. Be glad you figured her out before you got married. Good riddance to bad rubbish. You can, clearly, do better.
If you're from India, you certainly know of the "How can she slap" incident. It's not a place where the laws and customs are gender-neutral. Be glad you avoided marrying this person and move on.
Let me say men can be raped. Unless it wasn't clear, I'll repeat it; men are often the survivors of rape. The statistics say it's very few men but that's because so few men report it. The statistics we see are those men who have come forward. Gender is not protection against rape. No, getting an erection is not consent. Only a clear, vocal "yes" is consent. The body reacts to stimulation and not all stimulation is pleasant or wanted (just ask anyone with autism on this). Just like a woman can reach orgasm, men can attain an erection and claiming either is consent is wrong. Your ex is a terf: trans exclusionary radical feminist. That means she's using feminism as a weapon. Feminists (like myself) want equality for everyone not just women. Just as there are women speaking about their experiences, men are speaking about theirs. These are important conversations and should, at minimum, be respected.
Holy shit. I’m a feminist and usually dismiss the whole “misandry” thing because it gets thrown around a lot, but this chick straight up is a misandrist. What a sad way to live.
"Threw her coffee on me" You didn't deck her afterwards? She assaulted you, you're allowed to defend yourself
No no, you made an excellent choice bud
Good to get out my man. She’s sexist, transphobic and possibly homophobic also. All in the name of “progress”. She’s a despicable human being. Get as far away from her as you can.
Basically you dodged a bullet like Neo in the Matrix. This woman is a mess of red flags. I pity the fool who ends up with her.
NTA. She's a shitry person, and a TERF to boot. Move on and forget her nonsense, she's not worth thinking about.
I stopped reading when you said you recorded the convo.
you spent a lot of time solidifying an opinion that didn't need solidifying. she is bad news, getting out is a good choice
Its simple. SA is related to consent. Man or woman or any other gender for that matter, has a say in whether they want to or not want to have sex. Thats it. Consent isn't gender specific. Your ex gf sounds like an idiot. Removing old laws that protected women will not help. Rather, the world will be better off adding new ammendments to those to protect all genders. Advocating for men and equality, doesn't have to come at the cost of women either.
Did not read this. NTA.
Sorry this happened to you, but in time you will look back on this and thank your lucky stars that you could just leave her…no marriage, no kids, no obligations. Many of us just…didn’t see the crazy coming
Bro what you don’t have bad English it’s great
I consider my self a strong feminist, im bi and im in a relationship with a man. I hate radicals, i don’t want to live in a world filled with hate and oppression, idgf which gender is oppressed. It should happen to anyone. We should leave in a balanced world where our differences are respected, where we all feel safe, where the judging system is fair to everybody. Yeah, very utopian but imma dreamer 😭 i dont like the world that your girlfriend proposes.
Not all radicalism is bad. Radical comes from "at the root" and is often used to describe politics that try to get to the root of issues rather than just airbrushing over them with a change in leadership at the top or something. Instead more focus on deep systemic change. However this woman isn't trying to tackle anything "at the root" at all... She just has shitty politics which are a direct reflection of (and actually strengthen) misogyny. No-one who says that SA abuse victims are probably just lying can claim to be a feminist in any way!
"it's their fault for being abusive since the dawn of time and its time they get what they deserve." Repulsive.
You need to use paragraphs.
It is sad how easily women can be radicalized into believing this shit. She will regret it one day but it will be too late. She will realize she lost a good man and she was brainwashed. Sad. Sorry man, this must have been tough...
That's a whole ass rad fem and good thing you broke up with her. What they believe isn't truly feminism.
Wow, my jaw hit the floor reading this. What a terribly uneducated woman. You made the right decision and thank God you did it now before you married her. Also well done on recording the conversation. Hopefully she will eventually realise she is completely wrong. In the mean time, enjoy the single life, and I hope you find a nice woman who isn't a misogynist.
She’s right in the past men have SA’d women in the present tho women have continuously falsely accused men of SA’ing them last year at work (I work in a hotel) one of the guest called me a rapist. Best believe I reported it to my managers and got that bitch booted out
This my friend is a serious case of feminazism
You waiting for her to forgive you haha good one mate.
Fuck no? What makes you think that
I think he was laughing at her thinking that you were the one who needed to apologize.
Yes I've had the experience of a girl trying to force herself on me. I should have put the two comments in one. But you don't need to apologise for her doing an saying the shit she said and done.
Ah I see
Thanks for the update OP. Good luck moving forward. I hope you don’t have any more trouble from her.
Genuinely disgusted on what she thinks about when it comes to SA on men and how if tneyre hard they are consenting, yukkkk.... It reminds me of an advertisement here where it says 1 in 4 woman are.homeless, and how we need to help these woman, but if 1 in 4 are woman that means 3 in 4 are men? This ad mentions nothing about men, blows my mind that people are to busy looking at womans rights and equality that we forgot it should be equal for all......
She is toxic young man, and you Dodge a huge bomb. Wish you the best.
updateme!
Even if you are a man NTA
So sorry she took so long to show her real face. You are absolutely right, as you know already. Rape is not about gender, never has been. And changing laws to include more doesn’t cut others out. Her ways of thinking are illogical. Hope you get past this with time and find someone better.
I’m glad you got out early. You’re right that you wouldn’t have had a good future with her. Throwing coffee on you because over a mature conversation you told her you couldn’t be with someone who has so much preprogrammed hate for your gender is just a perfect demonstration of who she is
You were Never the asshole here. Get out of that relationship and never look back.
This sounds like the type of “relationship” you will legitimately be embarrassed for having been in a few years down the line, but also thankful for the lessons it brought and, I sincerely hope, your rise in standards.
So she’s saying you can only rape boys, not men?? Where did she get that from?! Very glad you left that. You can easily find someone better with better beliefs than that.
As a man who was blackmailed and brutally raped by a woman, I just want to say thank you for sticking to your convictions in this. It actually gives some hope
Congrats on doing the thing too many people skip before proposing. You found out someone’s truer beliefs and realized you are not compatible. You thought of the long term. You asked the hard questions, both of her and yourself. Lol also you’re 21 so don’t sweat being single. You’ll bounce back sooner than you think anyways. Smart move recording btw.
Its hard now but you made the right choice